Sybella's Faery "Tell"

Lost Poem

2010-08-17T05:30:00.000-07:00

In one of the boxes of papers from her past, Sybella found a poem she had written many years ago... When she was young and still the possession of The EvilOne.

A Person In My Life
May, 1988

If there should ever be a person in my life who sees me for what I could be forced to be, and not for who I am--then I could never be myself for him.

If I entrust my heart, my purity, and my fidelity to one, only to see it returned in opposite form--then I could not trust that one the way it was meant to be.

If I am always there for him, in his time of need, and find myself alone when I am down--then comfort would be impossible to provide or be found.

If the hands that held me in love, ever struck me in rage and caused me pain--for any reason--that pain would be what I feel whenever held again.

If that part of me meant to be a gift of pleasure is taken against my will or given by obligation--then I would not have pleasure as a gift to offer anymore.

If the person in my life cannot accept me as I am, or honor the trust I have, or comfort me in my pain... If his hands could ever hurt me or take from me without my consent--Then I would not have the Life I believe love should represent.

Rise Above It

2010-06-13T08:08:00.000-07:00

Rise Above This Rise Above This Rise Above This (Karaoke Version) (Originally Performed By Seether)Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces (Bonus Track Version) [Explicit]Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces (Bonus Track Version)

Sybella will rise above it!

Returning from Her Adventures

2010-01-30T18:34:00.000-08:00

There hasn't been too much to write about Sybella during the last several moons. Her behavior has been a bit of a mystery in many ways--yet, public and completely clear in other ways.

There has actually been a huge amount to write about during the last several months but, Sybella asked me to keep it on the down-low... to give her some time to spread her wings and make some choices that needed making.

Seems she has enjoyed some time in other worlds during the past few months. Been flittering and fluttering herself about--looking for attention from here and there. She has been working hard, making progress and enjoying the fruits of her labors.

The turn of the year and the events that took place were not expected. Sybella didn't think she would be standing in the place she finds herself today, a year ago. It was one of those eventful years for Sybella.

Took a little time for Sybella to come to terms with reality in This World. Something a faery has to do once in awhile. The next few moons are bound to be interesting--transforming--amazing... Seems, every step of life in This World somehow turns out to be amazing for Sybella.

Seems there is a lot of writing to catch up on, and some story to TELL about the adventures of the past several moons, Sybella has had some amazing adventures and been electrified for her journey's. It will be interesting to catch-up with her Faery Tell.

Secret Sidetrips

2009-08-06T12:15:00.000-07:00

Sybella has not been her usual self for the last several weeks. Perhaps for the past three full moons in fact. The return of ChooseWell in her thoughts made he remember what it was like to be wisked away with passion and fire. And even with the fact of their lives NOT being permitted to be together--the memory of what it felt like to be the center of a mans passion and desire has been returning to the list of wants and needs she has for herself.

The past several months her need to be wanted and desired has outweighed nearly any other part of her life. She has been on a public mission to make herslef as fit and attractive as she can possibly becaome, with time passing so rapidly. At the same time she has been letting herself listen to the inappropriate words the lustful men in the kingdom like to say--thinking they might as well since the chance was very slim they would ever be permitted to actually live them out. With her anyway.

Her secret sidetrips into the kingdom for such attention has taken a great deal of time and energy--primping and having a very shiny twinkle doesn't just happen like magic even for a faerie it takes a little elbow-grease! Flittering around and listening to the men with only wanton desires takes a lot out of a faery princess Queen of the Castle! For that fact Sybella has been lacking the inspiration to spend much time thinking of how to write it...that and who would actually write of such things when it's her little secret?

Seems that now she has taken a little time and given herself some attention which did in fact result in nothing but positive implications for Sybella in her situation. It's really just as simple as the basic fact that in This World Sybella has a very nice life--but, can't be left to live it alone in a castle without someone there to notice her and look at her with that eye of want and desire. Just about the only think not perfect in her life--is the lake of passion and fire. Perhaps, the next few moons will see a change for the better in this area--with or without Her King being required? Or perhaps Her King might take notice and remember what caused him to make her his Queen in the first place.

It just remains to be seen what the Stars and the Sky have to say about the future. Will it be Her King who decides he will take notice, or one of the many in the kingdom whom already have noticed and made themselves clear?

Summer Faery Fun

2009-07-30T10:49:00.000-07:00

Sybella, is ready for a weekend away and looking forward to spending time in all the magic of the event! It has been a rapidly changing few moons with twists and turns of emotions a chance to fly free and enjoy the energy is just what she needs most. Especially, now that she is bringing along a dear friend with her.

Today is about the finishing touches on wings and checking to be sure she has her most cool outfits together. The temperatures have been hot lately and the retreat will be outdoors so Sybella wants to be sure she doesn't melt in the middle of the sun warmed weekend!

To ChoosWell

2009-07-21T14:03:00.000-07:00

Please, ChooseWell leave me.

Lessons from the Castle Lion

2009-07-16T09:55:00.000-07:00

The castle Lion, Tom-Junior seems to have a natural talent in finding the most effective way to spend the hot, sunny, summer days.

Sybella has been taking lessons and with the twists and turns of the past several months today is finding her own effective ways to spend a hot--sunny--summer day. The kind of day where nostalgia looms with memories of all the hot days past. Starting with those where sweat and dirt were most nice.

Music--of the moment:

Fairwell, ChooseWell

2009-07-10T18:23:00.000-07:00

Summer's first full moon came with yet another twist of fate having build and become known. The seasons of this year passing rapid, yet slow Sybella faced what she hates most in life--Reality.

Sweet the voice and music her ChooseWell sang to her ear and heart--but, so too was it fate to dwell in the memory of times long past.

As quickly as the fire passion was reborn, the blue-drops of rain smothered with wet tears--sorrow born.

Sybella, magic brought back alive but a short time ago, awaken by her Knight ChooseWells voice.

Not heard or felt for years gone by, remembered, shared and re inspired. Miscommunication corrected, magic completed and she was standing...

The parting, best written as sweat sorrow.

Last Spring Sunset Fairwell

2009-06-28T15:28:00.001-07:00

Sybella was able to sneak away from her obligations last weekend and find a moment to take these photos as the last spring sunset slipped away and the wheel of the year turned to the new season of summer.
Sybella, could not help but wonder what the new season had in store or where her feet would land as Summer came to be the season of her walk.

Into Summer

2009-06-26T16:07:00.000-07:00

Just as the spring came with its twists and changes in Sybella's life in Thisworld the shift of the seasons to summer came with it's own! Clearly the mystery of springs journey to continue into the summer.

The first few long days of summers sunshine energy intensified with all the under current of of mystery of where this road is leading. Sybella, generally satisfied with routine and fine to live in automated step walks into the summer with her feet grounded and her mind in a complete knot of unexpected strings of thought. Out of her own comfort zone and on a path of unexpected passage.

Sybella recognizes she holds all the power over her own life and chooses to live in patience rather then wave her wand and make magic in a hasty moment. Her own intuition seeing the roads destination but knowing the implications of misdirected energy she continues to allow life to unfold before she makes any direction of her own powers. She knows that life is long in Thisworld and at this time there is no need or reason to push things. Simply to continue to watch those around her push their own ways.

The priorities and issues she once thought the most important just one season behind all thrown into the air. What was once her most important focus of attention now the least of her concerns. Those things she was once willing to sacrifice have become her most important passions. This is not the time for magic making it's the time for contemplating. And trusting of her own natural instincts.

Who Let Her Go?

2009-06-16T15:13:00.000-07:00

Sybells has been testing the limits with Her King for the past several weeks. What she has learned is that Her King would rather give her beautiful gifts and pay the price then give her what she wants most. Attention...time...passion...

After the words she heard Her King speak last night, she suspects that someone will eventually have a reason to sing this song to her in the future. Sha, la, la, la

Never There

2009-06-15T12:18:00.000-07:00

For well over 10 years Sybella has been singing the same kind of song to Her King. Flitting and twinkling all around trying to get his attention. Begging and crying and Waiting around to see if Her King might notice.

And, for the past month Sybella has Not Been. In fact, Sybella has decided to let Her King be the one to do the singing--or at least see if he notices the fact that now she the one who is Never There!

Three Moons of Thoughts

2009-06-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

It had been an unexpected turn of events and emotions Sybella encountered when the cycle of the year turned to spring. All of her dreams, plans, and understanding shifted without notice as winter passed and with every new day of the season.
Her response to the sudden shift of personal perspective was to ground herself, and seek clarity and understanding before deciding the magic she would work.
Sybella gave herself three full moons of thought, and observation. Time for her emotions and understanding to go full circle. Time for the risk of irrational response to pass. She was wise for this effort and the time she offered herself in order to find balance.
Sybella was ready for the turn of the new season for the arrival of the Summer Solstice. Sybella was clear in her own mind, grounded in the purpose of her steps and filled with an energy she never imagined she would posses when the year had turned to spring.
For Sybella Spring of 2009 was filled with the birth of a new path. For clarity she was very quiet and wrote little as she allowed her mind and spirit to be filled rather than to spill it all out before her own understanding. Having taken these three moons for this purpose Sybella now stands ready to walk through the open doors she has found during her three moons of thoughts.

Sybella's Song for Today

2009-06-02T01:01:00.000-07:00

21 Guns Green Day

Do you know what's worth fighting for,
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins.

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins.

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

Watching and Listening

2009-05-31T10:17:00.000-07:00

Sybella has spent the last several weeks seeing in a new way. Not rushing to decisions but, rather watching and listening from a new understanding. She should play poker with the skills she has to hold a straight face. It's in her general nature to let her feelings be seen and known by the expression on her face, and her body language. But, when the game is on she is amazed how she finds herself able to play with skill needed and hold a perfect poker-face.

Unless, it has nothing to do with holding the straight-face? Sybella, often wonders if it is not her skill but rather a fact that some people simply don't see or notice what she does show in the first place?

It would make sense that someone unable to see her in life, could be completely fooled during the game.

During the past several weeks Sybella held her straight face while keeping her eyes wide open, and her ears in tune with the reality of life being lived inside the castle walls. She backed-off, stepped out and allowed Her King to take charge of leading the tone. And, after his words about her as a mother she let him be the one to command authority with the Little Feet.

What she saw and heard during the past several weeks, watching and listening to Her King and her observations of his "better" way of authority with Little Feet was enlightening.

His "better" way of raising the Little Feet seemed empty and sterile at first. His approach to ignore any opportunity to nurture, or even talk to the Little Feet was the first moment Sybella felt anger about the words she had heard said to her from Her King. That he would consider the very fact that she spent time with the Little Feet and talked about the lessons of life they learned as they walked was seen as wrong in his eyes. Yet, to her heart she saw that he would want to raise the Little Feet with the same lack of passion she felt he had given her for all of these years.

What Sybella saw and heard from Her King was that his goals were the ones which mattered most. And, that his authority only started with anything that interfered with his goal of the moment. In most moments that being silence and order. When silence and order was broken, he stepped in with his authority and over the past several weeks Sybella can now understand why Her King would think the way he does of her.

During the past several weeks Sybella had been quiet, watching and listening, and keeping a straight face about the fact absent any real passion for life within the castle she had been feeling her own outside the castle. She learned that she did not like the way Her King wanted life to be inside the castle and that she was sure she could not live the life inside the castle forever in silence with order--unless, her spirit died too.

Wisteria

2009-05-28T08:39:00.000-07:00

When Sybella first came to live in the Castle her breath was taken with the beauty of the woods that surrounded and the view of the mountains. However, she found the gardens of the castle grounds lacking in nearly every way and went about planning and planting to improve the situation.

Four springs ago Sybella's dear friend, Wendy was remodeling her castle and adding a new room. The addition displaced a lovely patio covered with bamboo woven together with Wisteria vines. Beautiful even in the winter, while bare of leaf and flowers, the patio cover became the perfect sight of love by mid-spring when in a sudden burst it woke up and showed life. As the season moved forward the patio covered with Wisteria became the perfect protection from the heat of the late summer sun. Sybella always enjoyed spending time with her friend sipping tea from mid-spring to fall sitting on the patio covered with Wisteria.

Wendy and Sybella wanted to keep this lovely place for their times together watching their Little Feet run and play in the water on a hot day. They wanted to keep their place where so many conversations and moments of memories had been made. The loss of this patio was heartbreaking for both! So, Wendy and Sybella set out to do their best to save the Wisteria plants and reduplicate the beautiful patio lost. It would very difficult to accomplish but together they knew they had to!

For several weeks Wendy and Sybella worked carefully to prune the Wisteria down to a manageable size plant. They studied plant care and propagation. They dug in the dirt with care for each root. And took the best steps they knew how to move the Wisteria Plants to new locations. At the same time they needed to plan for the reduplication. When the work was finished at Wendy's castle and enough of the plants moved to the position her new patio would be, there were two remaining plants which were given to Sybella as a reflection of the Love Wendy felt.

Sybella, plated one aside an arbor just outside the window of the castle great room. The perfect spot facing west where there was already and uncovered patio. Right in front of the large windows of the room. The wisteria providing the most wonderful shade and natural reconditioning for the hottest days of summer.

Sybella loves the Wisteria and her friend Wendy.

These photographs were taken May 28, 2009 by: Sybella

FaerieWorld 2009

2009-05-25T00:43:00.000-07:00

Sybella was very happy today when she made plans to attend the FaerieWorlds event in Eugene, Oregon on July 31 ~ August 2, 2009!

Everyone has been suggesting she may need a break and some time doing the things she likes. Sybella was dancing and flittering around with the air all day after learning Her King had no problem with her plans to attend.

The rest of the day she thought of what she would bring, what she would dress in, and how absolutely excited she was about attending.

For more information about FaerieWorlds 2009 be sure to visit the website! FaerieWorlds.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-20T20:17:00.000-07:00

Fantasy, Wiccan & Gothic pics at LoreLock.com!

Twists of Perspective

2009-05-19T11:52:00.000-07:00

Sybella is patient and while prone to flights of faery fae to the Otherworld has always done so grounded. She is not reactive in the moment, but rather deliberate instead. She knows that she has right to hold on and use her own power and determine the outcome of her own direction.

The fact she is deliberate is why her actions, choices, and words must reflect patience and passion. She is well aware of the fact no one has the right to make her less than she is, or deprive her of the spirit she is. Sybella will never die in her nature, it isn't possible--she is a dancer and cannot be held still where there is no music. She cannot twinkle when she isn't noticed.

These months of new awareness have been due a long time. Sybella is often struck by the new perspectives she gains when life adds a twist. Some might see this as hindsight and call it being 20/20 vision looking back. She sees it differently. Sybella sees where she chose to walk that path in the past--and where she made the choices she did. Each at the time for the right reasons--a new twist in life cause to appear with a different perception.

"So be it," is the lesson she learns.

...and, from there she moves on.

Reconecting ~ A beautiful video ~ I Believe

2009-05-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

...And as usual Sybella allowed herself to fly free. She found passage to the Otherworld where she went to play, as a faery may be inclined to do. She was filled the intensity and energy upon her return to Thisworld and now takes time to reconnect, ground and renew.

Along her path she found this beautiful video:

Happy Birthday ChooseWell

And on the Full Moon of May

2009-05-10T19:14:00.000-07:00

Sybella found herself not in her ordinary way of thinking.
She rested a time in a place she rarely does in life.

Sybella was unable to consider the needs of other's thinking.
She wanted for a place she rarely does in life.

Sybella had sat in the judgements of Her Kings thinking.
She hurt in a familiar place she rarely does in life.

Sybella stood up on the ground of her own thinking.
She went to a place she rarely does in life.

Sybella walked on the needs of her own thinking.
She took for herself what she rarely does in life.

and so be it.

On the full moon of this May, Sybella ChoseWell for her own needs.

Beltaine and the May Full Moon

2009-05-08T13:18:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks had been very building. Sybella was astounded by the changes to take place in Thisworld in such a short time. Everything she understood a few short weeks ago had been turned completely around.

So many things happened and changed between the full moon of April and the full moon of May that Sybella had been wise to remain grounded and allow her own understanding to grow. It had been a wild spring strom of feelings, information and change that the calm of the spring and turn toward summer was the growing definition of her heart. Each spring change of weather brought a new insight for Sybella.

Overwhelmed with feelings and watching the beauty of the season Sybella had used the waxing moon to simply allow Thisworld to happen, as she walked herself in some Other world at the same time. She had not planned this month to unfold the way it had, nor had she any reason to know the past two would have lead to the priorities and plans she found herself considering.

In March Thisworld had been as it had for years of months before it. She had planned to be working on completely different projects with different plans yet the passing of days and the time of the year brought with it changes she was not certain would lead.

Sybella, has spent these days since Baltaine and to the May Full Moon in a cautions and deliborate state of thought, evealuation and reflection. Careful to only watch and listen as well as speak her truth and heart.

Beltaine

2009-05-02T01:35:00.000-07:00

Flight to visit another Kingdom

2009-04-26T08:45:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago Sybella was invited to attend a meeting, a flight away, in another kingdom to discuss the ideas of her writing. Perhaps, one of the most important meetings in her life! Or at least in "her own" life in Thisworld.

For years she has put the needs of Her King, and the little feet above any need of her own. It was never a problem to place them above herself and watch as they each take part in the spirits of their own dreams and accomplishments. Never asking that any spotlight be given to her hearts desire. Not much expecting to be more then the wife of Her King or the mother of the little feet.

When invited to attend the meeting, a flight away, Her King decided it would be in his best interest to accompany her on this major trip. It was also decided that the prince and princess be brought along and taken for a visit to see TinkerBell. A Tinker Fairy most children recognize and adore. Considering that she lives but a few miles from the meeting place Sybella has been invited to it all seemed so logical at the time the plans were made.

This morning it seemed less logical to Sybella as she rushed around making certain everyone packed the things they would need during their visit to the Magical Kingdom. She noticed herself distracted over the issues of shoes and socks, hats and hair bows, and the wants and wishes of the people she has cared for with complete dedication. She noticed that her own needs appeared less important to anyone else. She noticed that the reason for the flight had been overshadowed by the excitement and wants of her family.

Sybella, did not allow this to dampen her spirit and has made sure to direct her attention to the truth of the trip for herself. As the hours approach for the time of the flight she is excited and nervous and above all else she is ready.

Confidence and support for this big adventure having been reinforced by the loving words sent her way from her ChooseWell as usual seemed to be more then enough to carry her through the ritual of planning and packing. She was ready to meet the important people, having been reminded during the past days of the fact that her own dreams in life matter. Having one person who remembered what this flight was about and that it was possibly the most important trip of her lifetime.

Sybella is ready and able standing in confidence built up and based on the words from the one who truly does love her. As this post is made, her family is ready for their own fun, she is ready for her adventure.

They will return in a few days, less than a week--Sybella has waited for this meeting since her childhood and will soon know if she has passed the test of being considered a master of the craft of words... It could happen at no better time with the waxing crescent moon and returning in time to celebrate Beltaine!

Mood Music

2009-04-26T01:16:00.000-07:00