Sign me up for a senior’s dating site. (WTF???)

Send me an email to inform me of their upcoming six week trip to Mexico, along with health updates of their friends. (OMG! Bob had his gallbladder out!)

Create a tumblr blog. I was really annoyed by the tumblr blog (mostly because I associate it with annoying teenagers) so I went into it, changed the password and deleted all the posts (which were just reposts of other people’s stuff, nothing personal) and then changed the one post that the email-stealer did, from a self-portrait of a teenage girl (of course it was) to a picture of Bon Jovi and a note telling her to not to use my email address when creating tumblr shit.

I hate this statement. I see it on Pinterest all the time and  it’s such a stupid thing to say. And it’s not fucking true. I’ve been skinny (or at least thinner) and it’s total horseshit. A bunch of things totally taste better.

Here’s my list of things that taste better than skinny feels…

• A big giant cheesesteak. Preferably from a subshop that knows their shit when it comes to a good cheesesteak. With mayo. Yum.
• This bread. I’ve made it. It’s really smack your mama good. (No, I wouldn’t actually smack my mother. She’d totally win that fight.)
• Cheez-its. I don’t care about whatever processed fake-ass chemicals are in there. I could eat a box of those a day.
• Pizza. Duh. Extra cheese, pepperoni, onions, banana peppers, black olives and mushrooms. I’d eat that and not care about the fast train to Heartburn City that I would be on afterwards.

That’s enough for now. I’m really hungry and there are none of these things in the house. But hey, I’ve got apples. Yeah, totally the same thing. No, no, no, no.

Today’s post was obviously brought to you by me eating my lunch at 10am and not having anything else to eat for the next five hours at school and being really freaking hungry and pissed about my new 1300-1500 calorie/day diet.

Here’s the lab story. My analytical chemistry lab is Friday afternoon, the worst time for a lab. It’s 3.5 hours of standing up doing lab shit at the end of the week when my brain is pretty much full. I still enjoy the lab though, it’s interesting, and I’m pretty good about getting shit done with good results. In other words, I usually have both good precision and good accuracy. (Ha! Fancy new science vocab…) But last Friday was bad. The lab was a titration lab. I’ve done titrations in my other chemistry classes and had no problem with them, so I was thinking I’d be in and out and home in no time (or Millertime).

Yeah, I was cocky. The lab wanted us to titrate three different samples and have the concentrations to be within 0.0005 of each other. Yeah, kinda picky. I did FIVE different titrations and none of them were even sort of close (not precise or accurate, WTF?). I have no idea why, I was careful, I took my time. It was so frustrating, then I have the skinny chick at the other table yelling about how all three of her’s were within 0.0003. She got the stinkeye and a “Bitch, STFU” inside my head. Not very mature of me, but I was annoyed. Oh, and really hungry at that point. This lab has a part two, so it looks like I’ll be doing this lab again next week in addition to the part two. My middle name with be titrate at the end of this week.

So instead of making the homemade pizza I had originally planned for, we drove thru the neighborhood McDs on the way home. Anna got a happy meal (with the build-a-bear toy, it’s a good one) and I got a filet o fish. Man, that tasted really good. And then I ate the rest of Anna’s cheeseburger that she didn’t want and I might have also had a small shamrock shake. (Took the whipped cream off of it, because ew gross. I don’t get the love for the Shamrock shakes, people go apeshit on facebook every year around this time. I got one just to see if they were that apeshit good, and I didn’t think so. I finished it anyway, I still had feelings to eat.) Yeah, I went way over my allotted calories that day. I blame Friday’s disastrous lab.

Just in case you are really interested in performing a titration with a buret, here’s a video for your enjoyment.

And yes, she says stopcock. Repeatedly. Jeez, grow up… hee hee hee

With the more positive spin, I’ve decided to focus on the outward and shallow. I signed back into my livestrong.com account and started keeping track of my calories to try to lose weight. The site told me that at my height/weight/activity level, I should aim for 1250 calories/day if I want to lose 2 lbs/week. It’s been four days and I’ve gone over every day. But I’ve kept them below 1500 cal/day. Good start, I guess. Portion control, better food choices, blah blah blah… I’ll start throwing in some exercise next week. One week at a time.

You know what’s more boring that a never-updated website? A weight-loss website. But whatever. Maybe it will keep me motivated.

Last time I was using the livestrong.com site, I was a little lighter than I am now. The funny thing is that there’s a badge that you use to put on your website that has your weight change. Mine said, “I’ve gained 15 pounds using Livestrong.com” Ha! Maybe not the best marketing tool.

It says 11, but you know how you lose the water weight? Yeah, that. Plus I weigh myself first thing in morning after getting rid of everything that could possibly add an ounce or two. That’s all the detail I’ll share about that. Although, I even take off my glasses. Issues, I gots them.

What has happened since July? Jeez, not that much. My daughter had her fourth birthday, I had my 38th. We went camping one weekend. My summer classes ended (A in Statistics, B in Chemistry Part II, The Retake) and I had about three weeks off before my fall semester started.

Speaking of my fall semester, in order to finish my classes on time, I had to take an extra class this semester (and will have to next semester too). It wouldn’t be a big deal, but all the classes I need are the ones with labs. So this fall, I’m taking Organic Chemistry, Genetics, Physics I and Nutrition (but that’s an online class without a lab, so I don’t really count it as a serious class) And then there’s the beginner swim class at 8am, three times a week. Things are going well so far, but I’m starting to feel some pressure. I had a school anxiety dream last night about getting into a fight with my professor and having her yell at me in front of the class for being stupid. Nice, right? I thought I was too old for those dreams.

On the more positive side, I believe I have found the holy grail of school bags (for me). I found one that holds notebooks, text books, my laptop, wallet, moleskine, water bottle, my lunch and assorted pens/tissues/gum/keys/etc. Maybe not all at the same time, but enough for me. I don’t know if it’s the most stylish bag in the world, but I really like it and am super happy with it so far.

Here it is: The Sherpani Sojourn.

And it’s not a backpack or a rolling case. Good enough for me.

Ok, that’s it for now, see you in another two months.

Proving that I am not as mature as I probably should be, I give you the potato boobs. This was an actual potato that I found in the bag while making dinner last week.

Today I was poking around in the folder that holds all my spam contents, looking for maybe that one legitimate comment that accidentally marked as spam (never find one, but I’m a sucker for comments, so I keep hoping) and started reading of them. Most are lame and just links to whatever stupid stuff is out there, but some are kind of funny. Here are a couple of the better ones.

Virgil Coloma wrote, Seriously is an incredible piece of content! We now have book marked it and mailed it out to all of my close friends as I know they will be interested, thank you very much! Sounds pretty good to me. I like spam that makes me feel important.

Wimpy just went with, Yo, that’s what’s up trthufully. This shit be funny, yo.

Play Bingo wanted to start a discussion. There is some validity but I will hold judgment until I look into it further. This was on my last post. Yeah, not much to discuss there.

Lyddy’s is my favorite, Great hmamer of Thor, that is powerfully helpful! Great hammer of Thor, I wish this person had spelled hammer correctly.

Me in June 19, 2001: 27 years old. Living by myself in Atlanta. Working at a software company as a designer. Single. Living a pretty self-centered lifestyle, lots of good times.

Me in June 19, 2011: 37 years old. Living with my husband and daughter in Rochester, NY. Haven’t worked in almost two years after getting laid off. Back in college, working on my second bachelors. There are still lots of good times, but they are different good times now. Better ones.

Turns out a lot can change in 10 years. Way to state the obvious. I really should put more thought into this shit.

Ten years I’ve been maintaining this site in one form or another. I noticed on more popular sites, you know sites that have traffic, they have some sort of giveaway to mark the big occasion. Yeah, I don’t have any sponsors or traffic or whatever to have a month long giveaway extravaganza. I’ll have to think about this one some more, maybe I can come up with something. But until then, here’s the clip I always think of when I hear “10 years”

I’m not sure what Sylvester Stallone has to do with this, but when I did a google image search for ‘borrowed time’ that’s what I found after I sifted through too many John Lennon images.

I feel like such a renegade, not knowing how much time I have left with the at home wireless makes me want to squeeze every last bit per second out of the air.

Viva la revolution!!