Stretch Mark Mama

What It's Like To Teach A Grade School Boy

2012-08-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

Never quite sure if I should be proud or appalled. My boy makes me laugh, though, and surely that counts for something.

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School Pictures For 2012-13

2012-08-20T09:21:00.004-07:00

I've been homeschooling my kids from the start. So far, no one has landed behind bars, so I'd call our educational style a RAGING SUCCESS. They can all read and write and converse with humanity, but really, how important is that when there's texting and chat?

Oh, I kid.

Here are the three monkeys that make up our school.

My firstborn mini-me is in fifth grade this year. He likes Minecraft so much that he wishes all school subjects could be learned with that program.

Next is my third grader, who will read Harry Potter or a Lightning Thief book in one day and then flip back to the start to read again.

And then there's my girl. She's in first grade and learns best by talking and moving and talking about moving. Her perfect day of school involves six outings and 300 people.

Here's a collage showing the kids a little closer to reality. Well, take away the clean clothes and add in some bed head.

Last but not least is a picture of me, "Teacher Extraordinaire" and "Boss of the World" but my students call me "Mom." Well, sometimes its "Dr. Torture," but only when I'm doling out work.

Head on over to the iHomeschool Network to see photos of other homeschooling ~~freaks~~ families!

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Our School Room Looking The Best It'll Look All Year

2012-08-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

I've homeschooled in five different houses over seven school years. In that time, I've had big yards, tiny yards, a bunch of storage, zero storage, built-in cabinets, creepy basements--the whole nine yards. You'd think that having more square footage would mean a more organized home, but it simply means there's more space for stuff to spread out.

When starting out, I assumed that "school" would take place at the same spot every day, like in a classroom. It's never worked that way. True, the kids need some table space, but they also need places to cuddle with a book, and a place or twelve to escape their fellow classmates.

I'm not sure how the public schools do it, but they somehow manage to get thirty kids in the same room doing the same thing without (for the most part) pestering one another. But put two siblings to work at the same table and THE WAR GAMES ARE ON. I could write a book entitled, "101 Ways To Annoy Someone Who Is Sitting In The Same Room."

So to keep a little peace in the home, I've made our "school room" a collection of spots around the house. And I stagger their work so that one does math while another reads alone. You'll notice I've completely skipped past the root problem of them annoying each other at will. See the white flag a-waving?

With all the house-hopping I've done over the past few years, I've noticed a theme in what makes a successful "school room." Here's what works for us:

Comfy Spots

...for listening to books on CD, audio files, a parent reading aloud
...for watching programs on TV, Netflix, DVDs, clips online

Flat Surfaces

...for doing workbooks, art projects, writing assignments
...for typing lessons and educational games on the computer

Storage Places

...for books and resources in use for that year
...for books and stuff not being used that year
...for workbooks and items specific to each child
...for library books

Depending on the house, those places might overlap, or be completely separate spots. The one thing that has added to my ~~husband's~~ sanity is to have a place for the junk to go home to at night. Out of sight, out of mind. Homeschooling is a full-time job, and my evenings feel a lot more relaxed if everyone has tidied up and "clocked out" at the end of each day.

Okay. Here are some pics. In full disclosure, I cleaned each area before I took the shot. My house rarely looks this tidy. My boys read a lot in their bedroom, but I did not include a photo of that. Your eyeballs should thank me.

More school rooms to look at over at the iHomeschool Network.

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Curriculum Plan For 2012-13

2012-08-05T22:01:00.001-07:00

It's not unusual for strangers to come up to me and say, "Hey, you're a teacher, right?" And I answer, "No, but I play one on TV."

I don't know what it is about me, but I must walk and talk like a teacher. No, not the sweet kindergarten type. The large-and-in-charge know-it-all type. It's these traits that cause me to create my own curriculum from scratch each year. It's also these traits that allow me to go nutso at the same time. A win all around!

I'm entering my seventh year of homeschooling, with three kids who are in fifth, third, and first grades. I've gotta tell you--these are fun, fun years in our little one-room schoolhouse. The subject matter is manageable and my kids still adore me. Well, until I give them an assignment they dislike, which happens only ninety percent of the time. So you see? Bliss.

Here's my subject-by-subject plan for the upcoming school year. Read at your own level of ~~risk~~ interest.

Math

I have used Math-U-See since the beginning and it works for all sorts of styles. I have two math geeks and one artsy child with learning disabilities on the side--and even she 'gets' math, thanks to the lessons on DVD, the simple workbook, and manipulatives.

Critical Thinking

I love logic and thinking and I really have to stop myself from doing every single page of my kids' workbooks when they're not looking. Each kid will use a different book this year, but they're all in the same critical thinking activity series: Grades K-3, Grades 4-6, and Grades 7-12.

Science

We're spending a full year on the human body, which equals to about three weeks on each system plus some time spent on health and medicine. I'll use the library almost exclusively for this subject. The Complete Book of the Human Body is my spine (pun intended!), and we'll fill in with picture books from there. Easy peasy. My kids will be enthralled with the reproduction segment, of that I am certain.

History

Oh, history. We're doing half of world history this year, using The Usborne Encyclopedia of World History and A Little History of the World as our guides. I have read and read and asked and asked and looked and looked for a satisfactory grade school curriculum that is both age-appropriate and unbiased. Ha. Unbiased. As my husband likes to quote, "History is written by the winners."

Geography

Another one of my loves. Such a neat and tidy subject! We'll study the Eastern hemisphere this year and the Western the next. My kids will learn the names and locations of countries using online games, and we'll do the questions and map work found in the Trail Guide To World Geography. We're also memorizing famous world landmarks, which is a different post for a different day. Gnarly dude!

Read-Alouds

Along with a pile of history books, we're also reading together some books just for fun. The Swiss Family Robinson, Pippi Longstocking, Eric Liddell, Around the World in 80 Days, The Princess and the Goblin, King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table, The Phantom Tollbooth, Danny the Champion of the World, and King Solomon's Mines.

Poetry

We're going to spend the whole year going through Favorite Poems Old and New. I'm hoping my husband will orate so that the poems sound more like "beauty" and less like "the beast."

Foreign Language

We hobble along each year trying to pick up some new vocabulary or grammar. This year, I'm borrowing the Vocabulearn Spanish CDs from the library, and my grand plan is to listen to a bit each day. I've also picked out fifteen new Latin roots to memorize. Ambitious, right?!

Music

I teach my kids piano during their early years, as I simply can't stomach thirty dollars for a half-hour lesson on the basics. In a few years, I might change my tune (PUN ABSOLUTELY INTENDED), but for now I like not leaving the house. And since both my husband and I are band geeks, one with a music ed degree and one who played sax--my blessed fifth grader is getting lessons on how to play. Let the honking begin.

Art

Throughout the year, I find things for the kids to draw that match up with their schoolwork. In our study of artists, I'm attempting my very first lap book, which may or may not give me the hives.

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I've rambled on before at how language arts is a big ol' name which encompasses many, many subjects. Here's what I've picked to move my kids along the language arts road:

Grammar

Both my third grader and fifth grader will be doing Easy Grammar and Daily Grams. These workbooks are quick and to the point. My first grader will continue through the Explode the Code workbooks, which are very good for a child still learning to read.

Spelling

I've used the Sequential Spelling workbooks since the early days. I've got two who are natural spellers, so they breeze through their lessons. For my one who has a hard time with spelling, the pace is much slower and I plan to use Spelling City to help her along the way.

Handwriting

My first grader will review using My Printing Book, my third grader starts cursive, and my fifth grader merely needs practice.

Writing

I'm working up the nerve to order the Institute for Excellence in Writing beginner pack. Hold me.

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Outside of our work at home, we participate in monthly field trips with other homeschoolers, and we take classes at the community center when the mood so strikes.

That's the essence of my plan. I've got it printed out and stuck in a binder, which my ten-year-old lovingly refers to as, "The Torture Book." See what fun we're going to have?

This post is part of a big ol' curriculum roundup found over at the iHomeschool Network.

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10 School Supplies Every Homeschooling Family Needs

2012-08-02T22:37:00.000-07:00

I got to talking to my kids about the whole "buying school supplies" phenomenon that takes place every year at this time. With homeschooling, there's really no need for us to go out and buy a box of Kleenex or Ziplocs for the class. So we had a little impromptu session on Public School Culture, shall we say.

In the midst of the conversation, I asked my boy, "What school supplies does a homeschooling family need?" And he said:

1) A smart mom, and...

2) DUMB KIDS

See? Can't exactly pick those things up at the Stuff Marts, now can we?

But now that I've got some years of homeschooling under my belt, I figured it was time to pass on my expertise to the world. Listed below are:

Ten School Supplies Every Homeschooling Family Needs

EVERY.

FAMILY.

NEEDS.

Okay, so it's just what works for me. And honestly, I think this list is general enough to apply to non-homeschooling families as well. After all, "homework time" is "homeschooling" time too.

So let the list begin.

Quality pencil sharpener. I've purchased more than my share of cheap ones. Office stores carry "school quality" manual sharpeners as well as electric ones too. A good supply of pencils is essential (really?!), but make sure to have a set of colored pencils on hand as well. Crayons and markers are okay, but colored pencils are neater and work better when doing workbook assignments.
White board. You can pick up a large square of white board material at your local home supply store for much cheaper than what a framed piece will cost. A dry erase board is great for spelling words, memory work, drawing class, pictionary, and for the Sassy Mom to illustrate lessons and boss around as needed.
Computer with internet access. Many times I'll walk through the store and see a workbook or educational game my kids just "have to have," and not two seconds later think, "they can use a free site on the internet instead." Math games and geography games are the two most often types of sites we use.
School book storage. Bookshelves can work if that meshes with your current stage of life and decor, but I've re-used diaper boxes in the past, one for each kid. (I know! Classy!)
Library book storage. Throughout the day, my house looks like a library threw up there. But once it's clean-up time, I make sure the school books and the library books are split up and sent to their own happy homes. For us, this means a shelf. And by "shelf" I mean, "three shelves."
Globe and/or world atlas. Look til you find an inexpensive one; they're out there. And well worth every cent you do end up spending on one. We use ours a lot, and not always for official school stuff. Our global society makes owning a world map essential.
Pocket dictionary. Find something small enough (like a smartphone!) that can make its way around the house as needed. Just like with the globe/atlas, I'm amazed how often my kids ask, "what does that word mean?" And if the word is longer than five letters, I have to look it up.
Scrap paper. We go through an enormous amount of paper in our house, and I've found it's greener and cheaper to keep a ready supply of scrap paper around. I go so far as to hide the clean stuff--knowing that we rarely need to use it with the work we are doing. A paper recycling bin is a must-have, too. Save the trees!
A box of fidgets. Some kids focus better if they have something (appropriate) to do with their hands. I don't generally have to go out and buy fidgety kinds of things--it's usually stuff that's just lying around my house. Squishy toys, pipe cleaners, little plastic toys that make no sound, etc. Basically a fidget toy can be anything that keeps the hands busy but the mind free.
Non-messy snacks. I've found that scheduling snack time around certain subjects makes life easier on everyone. Read-aloud time is a great time for mom to read and kids to sit quietly and snack. Possible choices include popcorn, trail mix, dry cereal, and fruit. I also like for each kid to have a non-spill water bottle as well.

What would you add to this list?

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***This post was originally published in 2009 and updated in 2012.***

Summer Art Rejects, Errr Projects

2012-07-31T10:13:00.000-07:00

The warmth of summer doesn't hit the Northwest until after July 4th. So we spend the bulk of June indoors, enjoying the cool temps and of course, the rain. After doing nary an art project with the kids during the school year (oops), I decided to take the month of June and ART IT UP during the summer. I find it's easier to do a bunch of projects at one time, while the supplies are out and we're in the creative mood. Of course that mood can, without warning, shift into I'm A Total Failure and I Can't Do Anything Right and that's how we know when we're done.

My favorite supplies from the five projects we did were the watercolor colored pencils, the oil pastels, and the watercolor paints you squeeze from a tube. With those things, our idea book, and a stock of good paper, we felt like Picasso--complete with the angst and odd drawings.

Pics of the art and ar-teests below!

Disclaimer: All amazon links are affiliate links. The small percentage I receive helps me to buy more paint, paper, and books on rebuilding self-esteem in kids made to do art.

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Olympic Food

2012-07-30T11:39:00.000-07:00

Not five minutes after my boys watched synchronized diving on TV, they went and got graham crackers and proceeded to eat them in unison. Up up up, bite, chew chew chew chew. The Olympics no doubt inspire us to action; that action just happens to be "eating."

My kids are old enough to remember themed parties we've held in the past, so there was no getting away with skipping the Olympic-style food during the opening ceremonies (and the entire first weekend of the games). Here is photo evidence that we are quite dedicated to the sport of chowing down.

Rice Krispie Treats topped with M&Ms to represent the Olympic rings:

Fruit kabob American flag (I stuck the skewers in a block of styrofoam):

Olympic torch filled with cheese-flavored popcorn (I created a funnel out of the yellow piece of paper and wrapped the red sheet around the vase):

Funions, which are nutritious and delicious:

Greek-style frozen yogurt, very authentic:

Ribbon salad made with the colors of the Olympic rings (grape jello tinted black, green jello, yellow jello, blue jello, red jello):

And from a party in the past--frosted sugar cookies topped with fruit in the colors of the Olympic rings (pineapple, black grapes, blueberries, strawberries, kiwi):

There. There's what we consumed this past weekend, which might explain why we are not currently moving swifter, higher, or stronger. Go team!

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Mapping The Olympic Participants

2012-07-25T17:15:00.001-07:00

The first Olympic games I watched hour after hour were the ones in '84. Specifically--the summer games, as I wouldn't have had school to mess with my TV time. I mean, truly, there is nothing more satisfying than watching lean, athletic performers while lounging around eating chips all day.

I have Mary Lou Retton to thank for my undying love of gymnastics. Oh, don't think I participated in gymnastics, my goodness, the thought! I just watch on the telly, and will stay up to all hours to see the flounces and bounces and hold my breath the entire time so that no one falls and breaks a neck.

Speaking of moments I'll not forget til I'm a crotchety old gal (check!) -- Greg Louganis. Oh, be still my heart going pitter patter pitter patter OH MY WORD HE DID NOT JUST HIT HIS HEAD! Yeah. Saw that one live.

So as you can see--I'm a bona-fide Olympic fan. And when the games roll 'round, our family turns into TV junkies because that is what good mothering is all about. How else is Michael Phelps gonna swim real fast unless we're yelling at the TV? See? THERE IS PURPOSE TO OUR LIVES.

I wanted my kids to get ready for the Olympics with a little training of their brains. I told them we'd be outlining every country that is participating in the London games. My ten-year-old immediately went to the computer and printed out a map showing that very thing and said, "I'm done." Oh, he is something else.

So I slapped my laminated map up on the wall and printed out the list of 193 countries and 11 territories that are participating in the games. Little did I know that there are only 196 countries in the world, which means we could have scribbled out three countries and called it "done." Guess I see where my son gets his ~~laziness~~ efficiency from. However, as the kids and I worked through the enormous list, it was great practice at learning (or relearning) where the countries are.

This summer project was our little way of showing support for the Olympic games. As my husband likes to say, "If you're not in athletics, be an athletic supporter."

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Homemade Playdoh Flag

2012-07-23T18:02:00.002-07:00

Who's got Olympic spirit but doesn't know how many stripes are on the American flag? That's right! WE DO!!!

The kids were bored one 60° day this past week, and wanted me to make a big ol' batch of playdoh. Well, we ended up making three batches of playdoh, which gave each of my kids a sizable blob. I then asked them to work together to create an American flag. Let's just say the Olympic spirit was alive and present during that task, that is, if "Olympic spirit" equals a name-calling boxing match.

I mentioned to one child that he could make 50 little balls for the stars. You can see who won that battle. And as for the number of stripes? Lethargy wins again!

Speaking of slothfulness, I didn't have it in me to make the five colors of the Olympic rings. It took merely two colors to make the flag. Look at me being ~~lazy~~ patriotic.

For those of you who haven't been struck by the summer sloth, here are some Olympic activities that require a skosh more effort. Greeky geeky kid-centered fun!

Now. Back to the playdoh. Here's the recipe if you are so inclined to make some yourself. I used one complete batch for each color, leaving the white one plain.

Homemade Playdoh

1 cup flour

1/2 cup salt

1 teaspoon cream of tartar

1 tablespoon oil

1 cup water

Food coloring

In a saucepan, mix the three dry ingredients and then mix in the wet ingredients and food coloring. Turn the heat to medium-low and scrape constantly until the mixture is difficult to stir and resembles a playdoh-like consistency. Knead with a little flour to finish.

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This Little Piggy Went To Market

2012-07-09T23:49:00.000-07:00

What is the internet for if not to post pictures of what I'm eating? Well, there are cat videos to watch, I suppose. Maybe I should post a picture of what my cat is eating! That'd get me some likes!

He likes grass, by the way. The extra-tall kind.

I like my food to be fresh, too. That's why I set a goal for myself to have one meal this summer made primarily from locally grown foods. My backyard garden donated some peas, strawberries, dill, and potatoes (grown by accident in the compost bin). And the farmer's market supplied me with cherries, asparagus, broccoli, and English muffins still warm from the oven. I could have bought some eggs at the market too, but they were selling for six dollars a dozen. SIX. DOLLARS. A. DOZEN. I figure those chickens must be living better than I am. What do they rest in? A Sleep Number Bed?

Would you like to know what I made with this bounty? Of course you do! ~~Suckers!~~ We had Egg McMuffin sandwiches (yes I call them that) (and the eggs, of course, were from the evil grocery store conglomerate), boiled potatoes with dill, steamed broccoli and asparagus, peas, and fresh berries and cherries. It was a feast for the eyes and I felt so doggone self-righteous the whole meal! Oh, it was glorious.

There. I ate (mostly) locally one time this year. Nothing can stop me now.

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We've Been Bridge-ucated

2012-07-08T23:52:00.000-07:00

Back in April, we travel-schooled our way through San Francisco. That city practically oozes charm and delight, and this is the main reason why:

No. Not me and the kids. I'm talking about the bridge.

THE GOLDEN. GATE. BRIDGE.

Oh, it is magnificent. Stunning. ~~Golden~~ International Orange.

We came home and read books about the bridge (of course! isn't that what everyone does?) and as my ten-year-old said, I was transformed into a Bridge Nerd. Yes!

We happen to live in a city nicknamed "Bridgetown," which makes sense, seeing as one river runs up through the middle, and another one runs across top. We've lived in Portland for five years now, and to my ever-loving shame, not one person in my family can name even half of the bridges. There are about eight main ones, and several others besides. It'd been niggling at me that we weren't "True Portlanders" unless we could name all the bridges. So guess what? I added that goal to our Summer Fun List. My kids were understandably excited.

We started off with simple bridge design, which is a very good place to start. When you build you begin with A-B-C! Arch bridges! Beam bridges! Cantilever! Do-Re-Mi! Most of the vocabulary terms were new words to me. Sometimes it's shocking how little I know. Well, apart from cheesy song lyrics.

I gave my kids a geeky K'nex set that makes not one, not two, but THIRTEEN different styles of bridges. How is that not awesome? Bridge Nerd, I know.

We then studied the specific bridges in Portland. I'm telling you, The The Portland Bridge Book is a treasure. Full of pictures and details and trivia. Did you know that one bridge is painted the same color as the Golden Gate Bridge? And that the same engineer who designed the Golden Gate Bridge also designed the bascule on another bridge in Portland? Fascinating stuff. I am going to be such a hit at parties.

I thought we'd never be able to identify all of the bridges. I had the boys print off pictures from the internet (bridge pictures!) and we took turns quizzing each other. I made up some ridiculous memory tricks, like "Broadway looks like a B" and "Hawthorne looks like an H." Apparently I am five years old. But it's the boys' fault I picture little square men living in the turrets on Morrison Bridge.

I hadn't thought we were making much progress with our memory work, until recently when we crossed the Marquam and I heard the kids correctly naming each. and every. bridge.

Oh! my! word! That was utterly and completely satisfying, and I was filled with such a warm and fuzzy feeling. It might have just been closure, who knows. I'm not really in touch with my feelings. But I do know that I like bridges and can name the bridges in my city, thus making me a "True Portlander." Gimme my badge. I've been bridge-ucated!

Steel Bridge (by Crossmark Photography)

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Books I'm Hogging From The Library: The July 7, 2012 Edition

2012-07-07T00:00:00.000-07:00

If I put a book on the book stand of my exercise bike, it covers up the display screen. It's a fantastic design, because I don't like seeing how few calories I've burned, or how many minutes I've been riding to nowhere. Just one more reason that reading is awesome.

One of my friends asked me, "How can you possibly read while you exercise?" Ha! I certainly don't exercise that hard. I'd get sweat on my books!

Here's what's on my shelf, errr, stand.

A Smile as Big as the Moon :: I missed the Hallmark movie of this story when it showed on TV a while back. Was it any good? I can say that the book had me thinking, and cheering, and crying (especially at the end). Parents of special needs kids and special ed teachers are definitely some unsung heroes of this world--this much I know.

Top Pops: 55 All-Natural Frozen Treats to Make at Home :: We've still not hit the official start of summer here in the Pacific Northwest. I'm in jeans and a fleece on most days. But July usually brings temps in the 70s and 80s (HEAT WAVE!) which means I'll soon stock popsicles in the freezer. Here are the titles of ones I'd like to make from this book: Mexican Fudgesicle, Chilled Chai, Strawberry Lemonade, Peaches 'N' Cream, and Blackberry Lime. Yum!

National Geographic Kids National Parks Guide U.S.A. :: This is the best resource I've seen for getting an overview of our country's national parks. I've looked at a lot of travel guides, and most often the detail, the detail, the detail is just too much to take. This kids' book devotes about four pages per national park, and has several pictures of each one. Plus! There's a user-friendly U.S. map that shows where every national park is located. I've got the info; all I need now is an RV.

Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey :: Not a book, I know. But this documentary is the best film I've seen in a long, long time. I've recommended it to person after person, many who chuckle and scoff and insist that a show about "Elmo" couldn't possibly be good. But trust me! It is fabulous. Inspirational! Entertaining! And I'm not the only one who thinks that, see?! Available to watch instantly on Netflix and Amazon. Now go! Watch!

The New York Times Parent's Guide to the Best Books for Children :: Each year I design my own curriculum for my hooligans. Why? Because I'm a nutso independently-minded freakazoid teacher on steroids, apparently. But I rely a lot on books that tell me about good books so that we can minimize the number of dumb books we read. (Yes. There is such a thing.) This NY Times book is good. So is Books Children Love, another resource I'm hogging from the library. No surprise.

So, what are you reading while you exercise slash sit in your hammock slash hide out in the A/C?

Disclaimer: The links to amazon are affiliate links. Every big ol' order you place at Amazon (after clicking from here) gives me a percentage of that sale. You, too, can send me to the Grand Canyon!

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Strawberry Fields Forever

2012-07-04T23:47:00.000-07:00

Back when my kids were little squidgets, I used to take them strawberry picking each year. It was mostly an exercise in See How Much Of Our Bodies We Can Turn Berry Red, with a side show of Whoops I Stomped On A Whole Row Of Plants. Memories.

It's been too crazy the past couple of summers to go berry picking, what with the finding a place to live and moving across town and all that. But not this year! I was determined to pick strawberries, come water or more water. This is Oregon, you know.

We got to the patch bright and early (10:00 AM) and before I could bark out a speech, I realized that all three of my kids are too old to need a bunch of instructions. Hello, time clock, WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!?!

So anyway, they were off picking ripe berries, and putting them carefully in bins. Who knew? We might just devolve into hominids yet!

It was late in June when we went to pick berries. You'll notice my kids are dressed in long pants and coats, that the sky is gray, and there are evergreens all around. Hello, Pacific Northwest, you are my home.

And now a shout-out to our summer fun list--take those 20 pounds we picked and love it! Woot!

[PS: You might have noticed the Tillamook yogurt tubs. We are (obviously) big fans. And I'm not paid to say that we especially like the following flavors: baked apple pie, key lime, black cherry, and goodness sakes, I'm getting carried away.]

[PSS: What did I do with all those strawberries, you ask? Made some strawberry rhubarb crisp, stuck some berries in the freezer, made some jam, and also a big pan of sauce (my personal favorite). Yum!]

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Frozen Desserts--You Complete Me

2012-07-03T09:06:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite parts of summer, heck, any season, is to seek out and try new fro-yo and ice cream shops. I'm blessed, BLESSED I TELL YOU, to live in a place where cute little spots are dotted across town. And I'm not saying I'm driven and goal-oriented, but once again, I marked the "visit three new shops" off my list before summer was on the books. Ha! Where's my trophy.

It's obvious to me that the self-serve fro-yo thing is all the rage. I can't drive two minutes without seeing a little store that is usually named something yogurty. YoChoice, YoCream (like it's yo mama's cream!), Active Culture (mmmm, little frozen bacterias)!

Back in '09, I wasn't such a fan of the frozen yogurt shops. That might be because I kept getting the "tart" flavor, which is low in sugar, high in pucker. That's my husband's favorite thing, though, and then he goes all healthy and piles on the fresh fruit. Good for him! But I'll take chocolate with Oreos on top.

No, seriously, I love the self-serve places because I can control the quantity of treat we all eat, and the trip doesn't break open the bank.

For those who live in the vicinity of Portland and have a need to make some sweet treat objectives as well, I'll list off the three shops we tried:

Menchie's :: self-serve fro-yo not only in Oregon, but all over the US!

Scoop :: cute little food cart with the most chocolatey ice cream you'll ever taste

Tart Berry :: a happy-looking self-serve fro-yo shop with more topping options than I've ever seen

We had a great time trying out these places, all new to us. But what's my favorite place in town, you ask? Hmmm? It's Lucky Spoon. I'm not sure what it is about that place, but it's happy, and clean, and friendly, and cute, and good, and every time I go there I stand on the table and sing a rousing rendition of GOD BLESS AMERICA. Well, at least that's what I feel like doing. Close enough.

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Everything's Coming Up Weeds

2012-07-01T21:18:00.000-07:00

Hubs: "Hey, howz it goin' with weeding the garden? Or should I say, gardening the weeds?"

Oh, ha ha ha. I can't help that it rained for 47 days in June and weeds happen to flourish in that kind of environment. Welcome to the Pacific Northwest, people!

Speaking of things that grow without me planting them, I've got sprigs of dill popping up everywhere. My six-year-old calls these plants "pickles," because apparently that's all she remembers from my detailed description of "dill."

Garden Version Two Point O-Twelve has brought me a delightful surprise--my pea plants. Their package said the plants would grow four to six feet tall, which I translated to mean "six inches." I know my strengths, and keeping things alive is not one of them. But lo and behold--those babies kept growing, and growing, and growing, and I'm guessing they're now over seven feet tall. Heh heh. And it all seems so ridiculous that there's these jolly green giants growing up to the sky--and a mere three pods on each plant. Huh. Surely there's a more productive way to grow food, don't you think?

My goal for the summer was to eat at least one thing we grew ourselves. Aim high, you know. Not only have we feasted on radishes, but we've also had green onions, snap peas, snow peas, and basil. Of course, I can't really count the basil seeing as the plant already had those leaves on it when I stuck it in the ground. But my Fred Meyer store sure grows good basil, woot woot!

For the three of you still reading this post (hi mom! hi dad! hi spambot!), I'm also attempting the following: sweet corn, tomatoes, green peppers, green beans, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkins, cantaloupe, spinach, and zucchini. You can see from the first picture that my nasturtiums are going to town, and what would be even greater is if we knew how to pronounce "nasturtiums." Consensus among my boys has it at "nas-TURD-ee-ums." Of course.

Anyone else growing weeds this summer?

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Books I'm Hogging From The Library: The June 2, 2012 Edition

2012-06-02T00:30:00.000-07:00

I had a librarian thank me for my business the other day. Ha! I'll gladly haul free books to my house any day.

Here's what I've been reading these days. Feel free to chime in at the end with books you've got your own nose in.

I Used to Know That: World History: Intriguing Facts About the World's Greatest Empires, Leaders, Cultures and Conflicts :: Over the next two years, I'm cycling back around to world history with my kids. And by "cycling," I mean "pedaling uphill whilst huffing and puffing." World history has always been my weak point, so I'm trying to cram before fall. This book is nice and straightforward, much like the science book in the same series (that I'm also hogging from the library).

Along the Way: The Journey of a Father and Son :: Ever since watching The West Wing (the first four seasons! the Aaron Sorkin years!), I've been a fan of Martin Sheen. Shoot, I practically wrote the man's name in for president during the 2008 elections. Anyway, not too long ago I watched The Way starring Martin and his real-life son, Emilio Estevez. The movie was good, well, good enough that I actually shed a bucket o' tears, which is saying something for an old crusty like me. So now I'm reading the book to see if I should at some point drag my husband across Spain. He would say without reservation, ~~no absotooting way~~ "yes."

Green for Life :: I got this book thinking it was mostly recipes, but soon realized it was chock-full of good information about why we should drink our greens. I've been on a micro-nutrient kick ever since watching Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. Good film, especially since the main dude has an Australian accent. However, I can never remember the title so I end up calling it "Fat, Sick, and Ugly." I am determined to get my family drinking green smoothies (see: summer plans), which no doubt will cure everything from warts to wheezing to whining at the table.

The Well-Trained Mind: A Guide to Classical Education at Home :: I skim through this forty-pound book at least once a year so I can feel wholly and truly overwhelmed on this homeschooling journey. If you want to know what model of homeschooling this book describes, just think of it as "Homeschooling on Steroids." Once I've read enough to pick up a few tips and recommended resources, I put the book away and go read about eight hundred unschooling blogs. Puts it all in perspective.

The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Food from My Frontier :: This book is a feast for the eyes. I'm sure it's also a feast for the belly, and what would be great is if the book also came with a full-time chef to make every single last recipe for me. Alas, since I am the chief cook and bottle-washer and receiver of all mealtime ~~complaints~~ compliments, I'll page through and find a few treats, of that I am certain.

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The Radish Feast Begins

2012-05-30T14:35:00.000-07:00

Each year, I try to grow a little something that we can eat. Thus far, it's been a miserable failure, and each time I think about gardening I think back to The Carrots. The measly carrots. *sigh*

But now we own our own house, and it came complete with a big ol' raised bed and a pile of compost. It seemed irresponsible to not even try to grow a few things.

So I planted some radishes a few weeks or so ago, and those buggers are just now starting to get ripe. And by "get ripe," I mean, get good and rooty. I mean, seriously, HOW DOES ONE KNOW WHEN A RADISH IS DONE?! The part you eat is underground!! Hellooooooo, creator of the universe, that is one messed up plan!

However, I noticed that a radish or two had started peeking above ground, so I quickly shuffled everyone outside for The Picking Of Our First Fruits. One radish had a good six inches of plant matter so surely we thought we were good to go. Wrong! Not two seconds after my boy plucked it out of the ground, I heard the hubs yelling, "IT'S TOO LITTLE! PUT IT BACK IN!!!"

I'm not sure what he thought was gonna happen while the preemie was out in the air. Start crying and demanding mom, I imagine. I checked back on that radish today and its six inches of greenery have wilted to the ground. Apparently you can't pull a radish out, stick it back in, and expect it to grow. Who knew.

So our first feast from the garden included two radishes. I cleaned them, split them five ways, and we all toasted each other during dinner with our radish bits held high. Celebrate the small things, you know.

Hubs keeps saying to me, "Plant more! Plant more! I want lots of stuff growing in our garden! A pile of radishes at the table!"

Later that night I picked up three bunches of radishes from the store, and the tookish side of me wanted to stick those things in the ground and see how quickly my man noticed my Gardening Prowess. Ha ha, I'll be the Queen of Radishes yet. Good and spicy.

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The Hobbit And His 8000 Talking Friends

2012-05-29T14:18:00.002-07:00

During the school year, I read out loud to my kids about an hour a day. I consider myself an adequate narrator, in that I have good diction and sufficient volume. However, as I mentioned previously, not all voices are suited to "vocal acting," and I'm definitely one of them.

When it comes to using varying sounds for different characters, I've got two options:

1) My regular voice

2) My voice about one octave higher

Seeing as I've never read The Hobbit myself, I had no idea that the book was full of so many characters. Thirteen dwarves, a hobbit, and a wizard--not to mention the trolls and the goblins and the spiders, and of course, GOLLUM. When I got to the chapter where Gollum has a bunch of speaking parts, I worked myself into a hoarsey mess while saying again and again, "GOLLUM," and "MY PRESSSSHHHHHUUUSSSS." I eventually showed my kids a video of what Gollum is supposed to sound like, thank you, Andy Serkis. They just shook their heads at my total inadequacy.

Well, we were rolling along just fine until we got to the chapter with THE DRAGON. [For those of you who've not read the book, spoiler alert, THERE'S A DRAGON.] A DRAGON WHO TALKS, I might add. Well, I took a deep breath and did my best dragon impersonation, trying to imagine what a big ol' scary talking dragon might sound like. Not two sentences in, my ten-year-old looked at me with disgust.

My boy: "Oh, for crying out loud, Mom. That is not what a dragon sounds like."

Me: "How am I supposed to know what a dragon sounds like?!"

My boy: "Well... use a lower voice. And... add heavy breathing."

At this point, I was laughing so hard I was crying, all the while both boys were imitating a rather squirrel-sounding dragon. I finally collected myself to start reading again, but lo and behold, I could not, COULD NOT say the dragon's lines without dissolving into laughter. Fortunately, we also have the audiobook at home, so I can make the guy on the CD do the hard work of voicing the dragon. This is definitely a case where a MAN is needed for the job. No frou-frou dragons allowed in this house!

[Oh great. I have just sidetracked myself into quoting the first Shrek movie.]

Donkey: "Oh, what large teeth you have! I mean, white sparkly teeth! I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach or something 'cause that's one dazzling smile you got there! And do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know something, you're...

[the Dragon looks closer and Donkey sees she's female]

Donkey: A girl dragon... Oh, sure, I mean of COURSE you're a girl dragon! You're just reeking of feminine beauty!"

As I was saying. We are nearly done with our reading of The Hobbit, and I can say that as a first-time reader, the book is AWESOME. So full of creatures and adventure and I cannot wait, cannot wait, CANNOT WAIT to see what Peter Jackson and his team of MAGICIANS do to transform the book into film. I will be seeing both movies in the theater, because they are certain to be brilliant. Also: Richard Armitage plays the main dwarf, Thorin, and how could one such as I not want to see that on the big screen? I've already warned the hubs that he should expect a little starry-eyed drool to escape from my person. I mean, what's not attractive about a big, hairy dwarf? Nothing, I say. Nothing.

Disclaimer: All links to amazon are affiliate links. Your purchases help pay for my admittance to the theater. December 2012!

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Our Day At The Food Bank

2012-05-28T15:28:00.003-07:00

It isn't easy finding places for young kids to volunteer. No surprise, considering that most youngins have the attention span of a gnat and get tired of "working" after ten minutes. Not to mention that the majority of kids age five and younger are little factories of slime, and who really wants that coated all over their food - slash - program - slash - whatchamacallit? Not me.

So imagine my delight when all three of my kids reached the magic age of six and up [THERE IS A GOD] and could help out at our neighborhood food bank. The greater Portland-area homeschoolers have a set time every other month where any of us can show up to help. Kudos to the volunteer coordinator at the food bank for being prepared and having our work well-organized. Orderliness is next to godliness, I like to say.

We joined with three other organizations for the afternoon to complete our job, which was to scoop from 100-pound bags of rice and repackage it into two-pound bags of rice. Scoop it, bag it, weigh it, box it, done repeat done. All we saw for three hours was rice, rice, rice.

We worked beside bankers, construction workers, and other homeschooling families. It was great to see people of all ages collaborating to help the hungry families in our area. The work was rewarding, and surprisingly, my kids labored tirelessly and without complaint for the duration of our shift. Other people would come alongside my kids to help them pack or tape boxes, and I was so happy to see them interacting with adults in a mature, respectful way. I never know quite what to expect when I take my tikes out into the world, where they basically represent the Entire Homeschooling Movement. No pressure, right?

We finished our afternoon of volunteer work with a guided tour of the food bank. See kids? We took a field trip aaaand checked an item off Mama's summer list, ALL IN ONE DAY.

Fellow Portlanders: Find out how you too can volunteer at the food bank! It's fun!

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Big Honkin' List O' Summer Plans - The 2012 Edition

2012-05-23T22:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't made a list of big ol' summer plans since 2009. You know what we did the past two years? Found a place to live and (subsequently) moved. My kids inform me that I've robbed them of two full summers. Robbed them! I don't know what they mean, because what about this list doesn't sound like fun?

Hop in the van
Drive to a house
Walk through the house
Touch nothing! Say nothing! Do nothing!
Wash, rinse, and repeat

We finally bought a house and my next move will be to the nursing home. Or the insane asylum. Keeping my options open, you know.

Anyway, we travel-schooled to San Francisco this past spring, so check check! No need to leave the house this summer! Oh, I kid. Surely we'll make it to the library at least once or twice. [maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh!]

So now that we're settled and moving nowhere, (nowhere I tell you!), I can get back to the business of scheduling some fun. I'm of the personality where fun doesn't happen unless it's put on a list. Look out, kids. We're gonna spontaneously work our way through this organized outline of fun, yay!

Here goes.

Big Honkin' List O' Summer Plans

Feed Our Minds

Read The Hobbit together as a family (Done!)

Study bridge types and memorize the bridges of Portland (Success!)

Map every country that participates in the London Olympics (Done!)

Complete five projects from Art Ideas (Done!)

Listen to the radio theater version of The Chronicles of Narnia

Fuel Our Bodies

Eat at least one thing we've grown ourselves (Radishes--done!) (weeds, er, I mean green onions, peas, and basil!)

Visit three new fro-yo or ice cream shops (Easy-peasy!)

Try five green smoothie recipes

Pick berries (Strawberries, done!)

Make an entire meal using ingredients primarily from our local farmer's market (Done!)

Serve Our Community

Start a pick-up game of kickball

Tidy our neighborhood park

Share popsicles after sports' class

Give cold drinks to workers in our 'hood

Volunteer at our local food bank (Done!)

Now if all that combined doesn't sound more fun than a trip to Disneyland, well, don't tell my kids.

Updates on each of the above to come! Meanwhile, have you guys planned anything fun for the summer?

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Great Audiobooks For Kids (Read By NPH)

2012-05-22T16:06:00.001-07:00

Back when my kids were little fuss-buskets in carseats, I used to toss them a snack or jingle a toy to keep them happy in the van. It was much like having three puppies around, you see. But now they've grown up ~~into dogs~~ and merely bark and growl at each other in the van. Ahhh, maturity.

I've tried many things to keep them content while we buzz about town. Reading a book makes them sick. Looking at their sister makes them hurl. Listening to me sing Adele makes them want to stab their eardrums with an ice pick. Well, never mind, I'll find...something they like.

Like audiobooks, for example. We've listened to many. Well, we've started listening to many. My mama always told me to give a book three chapters before giving it up. With audiobooks, I can tell within the first 30 seconds if we'll be able to listen to the voice of the reader or not. I'm telling you--wow--there are a lot of people out there who should be doing something besides recording their voices. Surely there's a shortage of mimes in this world. Surely.

However. One day we stumbled upon an audiobook read by Neil Patrick Harris, and I'm telling you, THE ANGELS OF 1990'S HEAVEN CAME OUT AND SANG. His vocal acting ability is brilliant. Both the hubs and I were listening to the book with pure enjoyment. The kids enjoyed the audiobook, too. Go, Doogie, go!

What follows are all of the audiobooks I could find that he has narrated (all Beverly Cleary books, which we adore). We've listened to them all, on one road trip or another. Enjoy!

Henry Huggins

Henry and the Clubhouse

Henry and the Paper Route

Henry and Ribsy

Ribsy

Socks

Disclaimer: Clicking on the amazon links and then purchasing anything on that site gives me a small percentage of the sale, which means I get to buy more dog toys for the car. Thanks!

Do you have a favorite audiobook for kids? If so, comment below! For more tips, head over to Works For Me Wednesday!

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Book It Reading Program For Homeschoolers

2012-05-10T10:08:00.000-07:00

**Enrollment is now open for the 2012-13 school year!**

I'm reading yet another lighthearted poetry book to the kids these days. I find that we actually enjoy the stuff when we don't have to cut through thirty-eight layers of meaning just to grasp the gist of the poem. Poetry is also a lot better when the subject is food--take for example this small excerpt by David Canzoneri and Bill Martin Jr.:

Let there be pizza on earth,
And let it be eaten by me,
Let there be pizza on earth,
As far as the eye can see...

I love pizza so much I could write a poem about it myself. That's why when I saw that Pizza Hut has a BOOK IT program for homeschoolers, I signed my kids right up. There's nothing more important than ~~gettin' my pizza fix~~ encouraging kids to read. Besides, the whole thing reminds me of the thrill of filling up my BOOK IT button before my older brother could recite the words "MY SISTER REIGNS SUPREME."

Speaking of supreme, that's always my pizza of choice. Hubs and I like to split a large while the kids each get their own (free!) personal pan.

With the homeschool program, the ~~dictator~~ teacher gets to set the rules herself, determining the number of books or pages or hours the kid has to read (per month) in order to earn his coupon. The program runs for six months, October through March, so each eligible child (grades K-6) can earn up to six free personal pan pizzas a year.

Enrollment starts now and runs through September 1st. It's easy to sign up online, and the packet with a year's worth of coupons arrives via mail early fall.

Does anyone else participate in a reading rewards program?

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12 Ways To Reuse Cereal Bags

2012-03-08T16:36:00.000-08:00

**Updated to add some new uses!**

Cereal bags. An empty one appears every couple of days in my house, just begging to be reused. Here are some ways to do that:

Crush graham crackers or cookies to make crumbs
Use to marinate meat (fold and close the end with tape; place in or on another container to catch spills)
Pack sandwiches for a picnic--either put a sandwich or three in one bag, or cut the bag to wrap a flat sheet around each sandwich (this is good when you need to label the sandwiches)
Fill with veggies to keep them crisp in the fridge
Shape cookie dough into rolls using a cut-apart bag
Tuck one in the diaper bag for stinky diaper disposal
Flatten chicken breasts or steak
Line the platter used to take burgers to the grill
Bag chicken bones and fat to keep the flies (and pets) out of the trash
Lay on the counter as a liner for packages of meat
Put pieces of broken glass in a cereal bag first before disposing in the garbage (prevents tears in the plastic trash bag)
Pour cooled and thickened fats from your meat into a cereal bag to help contain it in the trash (and remember--fats should never go down the drain--it leads to clogs and is also very hard for the water treatment plant to separate the fat from the water)

What ideas can you add to the list?

For a whole bunch of other frugal ideas, head over to We Are That Family!

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Beethoven's Wig

2012-02-08T12:15:00.001-08:00

I grew up with music in the home. Beach Boys via record, Lawrence Welk on TV, and Roger Miller in the tape deck.

So obviously, my musical taste is EXQUISITE.

Hubs made a short attempt in college to refine me. It was futile. He would mumble something about "classical" not being a generic term for all "elevator music," but that it represents a time period ~~zzzzzzz~~ in music history, ~~listen to the sound of me not caring, excuse me while I fall asleep in your Braharms~~.

Music majors.

During our early years of marriage, I took the opportunity to clean house, and by "clean house," I mean, "got rid of his stuff."

Including most of those "classical" CDs.

Awesome.

Especially now that it's time to pass on a musical heritage to my kids.

Fortunately, the library has saved my ever-widening butt. I've even found a set of CDs that mix Hubs' classy taste with my love for, well, nonsense.

Introducing: Beethoven's Wig (♫)

Oh, people. I'm a sucker for cleverly-written (often humorous) lyrics. All the songs on the Beethoven's Wig CDs are set to the tune of symphonies (or piano classics), and get this--actually teach something about the piece of music.

I KNOW.

BRILLIANT.

Best of all, I can listen along with the kids without desiring to stab my eardrums.

MMM-HMM.

Here are the CDs currently available:

Beethoven's Wig: Sing Along Symphonies

Beethoven's Wig, Vol. 2: More Sing-Along Symphonies

Beethoven's Wig 3: Many More Sing-Along Symphonies

Beethoven's Wig 4: Dance Along Symphonies

Beethoven's Wig: Sing Along Piano Classics

In the interest of full disclosure, no one asked me to promote these CDs. But if you do click those links and buy something on the amazon site, I get a minuscule percentage of the purchase. The earnings I receive by being an affiliate help feed my ~~family~~ addiction of throwing pennies in a fountain twice a year.

You can check out the full list of Beethoven's Wig CDs and then send that link to your wealthy relatives. Wealthy relatives who happen to have a penchant for classical music with some zany lyrics thrown on top.

Okay. Tell me a little tidbit about your experience with classical ("classical") music.

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Books I'm Hogging From The Library: The February 4, 2012 Edition

2012-02-04T00:30:00.000-08:00

Oh, I'm still hogging books from the library, never you fear. And this week I decided to post 'em on this here blog.

I Am America (And So Can You!) :: Ah, Stephen Colbert. He's so gloriously offensive in a non-offensive, funny way. I have caught myself laughing out loud, literally, LOL, which my boys inform me is 707 on a calculator turned upside down.

Star Wars Character Encyclopedia :: I happened to grab this book off the shelf and hubs said to me, "Oh good. Read that. And memorize it. Then you'll be a wife I'll rise up and called blessed." I told him I was really looking forward to learning about Spock and his friends. (Gets him every time!!)

50 Popular Beliefs That People Think Are True :: This book delights the skeptic in me. And it's well written; well thought out. I could skip at least half the chapters, because really, I already know that fortune telling and astrology are bunk. But what about evolution? Vaccinations? Global warming? Yep. Those chapters are not for the faint of heart. Which is why I loved them.

The Greatest Video Game Music :: I stumbled across this at the library. And you know what? My boys love it. LOVE IT. They recognized just a few of the songs, but that's all it took to get them hooked. And I gotta say, the musician in me adores these pieces too. Well done, London Philharmonic! So stinkin' classy and fun.

I'm a Scientist: Kitchen :: Geared for young scientists, this book contains basic kitchen experiments, using materials you likely have on hand. I have this *thing* for bright primary colors and this book is loaded with cute, cute images. And lemme tell ya, I don't use the word "cute" very often, let alone twice in a sentence.

What you been readin' lately?

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