State of Mynd

Priesthood Broadcast

2013-09-24T14:17:00.000-07:00

I love that so many of you have reached out to me today, wondering what my response is to the latest news in the Mormon sphere. It makes me happy, not only because you care about my opinions, but because you identify me as a feminist, and as a supporter of positive progress and change in the Church. So thank you to those who have shown me utmost respect and understanding, who haven't cast me out as a crazy bra burning whackadoodle with one foot out the door. Besides, bras are much too expensive to burn ;-)

There are a number of articles swimming around the internet about the latest news concerning the Priesthood Session being broadcast, but I'm choosing to reference this one, as it has a bit more meat:

LDS Church Responds to Priesthood Meeting Request by Activists

Again, I would like to make it clear, before I get too deep into this post, that I am not part of Ordain Women (OW), but I do support them and understand a lot about where they are coming from. Without getting too involved in my reasons for not being part of OW, I will at least say that I currently feel that aside from ordinances, I basically have the same access to the priesthood as my husband, and he agrees. Priesthood is simply not one of my biggest "issues/struggles/concerns." I see more progress to be had concerning our misunderstandings of what the priesthood is and is not. For example, I think some damage could be halted if we stopped thanking the priesthood for this and that. The priesthood did not stack those chairs. Those men stacked those chairs and they didn't use the priesthood for it. In fact, some of those men may not even hold the priesthood. This is of course besides the point, as I put up my own chairs every week. We could open up callings that women are currently not considered for that do not actually utilize the priesthood (i.e. Sunday School Presidency). Many women just want to have their perspectives more involved in the Church, and who can't understand that? It isn't about power, but is more about not feeling power-less.

So they are going to openly broadcast the Priesthood Session for the first time in history. What was my first response? I expected something very similar to this and I am partially quite pleased. It was actually last night that a thought came to me that perhaps they would provide a room (not in the tabernacle) for the OW to view the session, or that perhaps they would broadcast the meeting everywhere. Then I woke up and it was so, pretty cool. I am thrilled that the Church is making changes. Twice this year the Church has made first ever in history changes concerning General Conference. Though the Church moves quite slowly concerning change, we've recently been approaching warp speed compared to past history and I'm proud to be part of that.

Now what am I still not overjoyed about? Well, I find it a bit frustrating that it has taken until the year 2013 for a women to be invited to pray in General Conference and for the Priesthood Session to be openly broadcast. There was no reason for these prohibitions before and there did not seem to be any actual rules against it. In the case of women praying, there was an actual statement from a former Prophet that it was just fine and dandy. So why did it take so long to be put into action? We're creatures of habit who do not like change. Mormons, like many others, are traditionalists. I understand that some changes that many members hope for are large ones, but so many are quite small and simple. It's the small and simple ones, that when someone asks why is it this way and no one can provide any answer beyond a hypothesis, that I get annoyed. It seems there is a lot that we do simply because that's just the way it's always been done. It could be that I just don't know the reasons, but I would love to know them! I believe the Church has entered a time where more and more members, especially in the younger generations are craving the answers to all of their "why" questions. I get bothered because I see unnecessarily inequalities. Though they may be quite small, there existence is still quite unnecessary. It's not that I think we are even capable of creating pure/true equality here on earth, I don't. But I certainly think we should strive towards it. That's probably the sociologist in me speaking, that just wants to make the world a better place in any and every way possible. I accept that all my dreams are simply not attainable in this life, but that's no reason not to go after them. There are many who would not enter a race unless they believed they could win first place. There are others though, that see the benefits and progress they still gain from joining in the race.

“It is the hope of the church that the priesthood session will strengthen the men and young men including fathers and sons, and give them the opportunity to gather and receive instruction related to priesthood duties and responsibilities, church spokeswoman Ruth Todd said Tuesday in a letter to the group, much the same way parallel meetings are held for sisters, such as the general Relief Society meeting."

I can appreciate if the reason they are not allowing women to attend the Priesthood Session is simply because seats are limited and they want to first provide those to all the men that wish to come. I wonder though, if all the seats really are taken. I would hope that if there were extra seats, they would not then withhold them. I see no point in that. I also wonder if women will be permitted to attend the broadcast locally at stake centers, should they choose, or if they will be barred from that as well. And yes, I do understand that some in OW are not at all happy with the Church's response. I do understand the desire to be ushered in first come, first served, with whomever gets there last directed to the overflow rooms, rather than women being directed there from the get-go (if at all). I also understand that for many, that's not even what this is really about. Many of these women still are looking for modern revelation concerning ordaination of the priesthood, not simply how priesthood sessions are broadcast.

What I don't like here is the constant idea that the messages in the Relief Society and Priesthood Sessions are specifically for instructing women or priesthood holders. So many times I've read the Priesthood Session talks later on and I find them to sometimes be some of my favorite talks from all of General Conference, and having not much to do specifically with priesthood. I am sure much could be gleaned from the RS talks for men as well (though I have my doubt concerning how many men actually view them). I do understand that we like to have sex segregation for some things, and I understand many of the reasons for that. What I don't understand is how so many members believe that the Relief Society and Priesthood Sessions are perfectly parallel (many do, just ask around). Until this year, the RS Broadcast was open and the Priesthood was not. Women are not allowed to attend the Priesthood session at the Tabernacle or in local meetings houses (with some exception to a few stories I have heard of women being allowed locally in the States, and I've heard that in other parts of the world the broadcast is held at such random times that often the whole family attends - there is a lot about the Church that is done more freely and openly outside of the States). Men, on the other hand, are not only allowed to attend the RS Broadcast, but they are (at least in small number) required to be there. As women in the Church, we are required to have Priesthood holders present for pretty much every activity we hold. Not only do I regularly see men in the audience when I watch the RS Broadcast, but I listen to them as well. While the RS Broadcast predominantly features female speakers, the meeting is presided by a man and men give talks to the women as well. In contrast, women never speak to the men in the Priesthood Session. I think it would be great for them to have some female perspective chime in for the Priesthood Session, but I'm not in charge (obviously). Am I saying that I hate the men present at my RS meeting or listening to men speak? Not at all! I think it would be ridiculous to require some men to be in the building, but force them to stand in the hall or a side room when such beautiful messages are being given. Sometimes the talk given by an apostle is the most touching. What I'm trying to get at, is the fact that there are aspects of these meetings that are not parallel.

Some of you will undoubtedly read the article and cheer when you hear the words of Burton and Skaggs. I am sure many of you relate to the sentiments they express in this article. I would urge you to keep reading, and hear the OW responses as well. The OW women are working within the Church's system. They understand that this is the Lord's decision and is on His time table. We may not agree on the methods and approach OW is taking, but let us all at least try to show understanding and withhold judgement. Many of these sisters are mourning due to the inequality they feel, so let us mourn with them and show Christ-like love. It isn't worth getting upset and speaking unkind words. These are your brothers and sisters in the gospel. Please keep the passive-aggressive digs off of social media. The Brethren have heard the cries of these women and they are trying to respond. Obviously they thought these women were important enough to listen to and to respond with respect towards, so let us all do the same.

Do I think that not allowing any women into the Tabernacle for the Priesthood Session is a bit like saying girls need to stay out of the boys' club house? Yes, I do a bit. Most women have no desire to attend, so I wonder what the harm really is. Even if they continue to not allow women from the general population of the church to enter, I would hope that in the future they could at least exercise some spirit of the law versus letter of the law concerning situations like those of Frances Monson. "As a newly called member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the then Elder Monson was assigned to speak in general priesthood meeting. Frances tried to stand in the doorway of the Salt Lake Tabernacle to listen to her husband speak, but the ushers wouldn’t allow it, so she stood as near to the window as possible to hear the talk" (Mormon Newsroom). While this story tenderly shows how much Frances loved and supported her husband, it also makes me very sad. I imagine Frances standing outside, in what was likely cold weather, with her face pressed up against a cold window so she could hear. I could very well be dramatizing the scene in my head, but it makes me very sad that she wasn't permitted to even stand in the doorway to hear her own husband speak.

I understand that some feel disheartened today, but let us celebrate what has happened. A change has still been made. An unnecessary practice has been lifted. I stand by what I said when the Let Women Pray movement was going on. If the feminists influenced it, great. If the feminists had nothing to do with it and the Brethren were already taking action, then it just shows how in-tune the feminists are with the Brethren lately and people should stop hating on them ;-) Whether this change was instigated by the feminists or it simply was God's time table, let's rejoice in the change. Whether you choose to attend in SLC, a local meeting house, or on your couch with the ENTIRE family, I hope it is a positive experience. Let us look forward to whatever further first time in history changes the Church has up its sleeve!

Becuase You're Mormon

2013-09-18T15:49:00.001-07:00

Some second hand conversations on Facebook got me thinking today. They made me think back to when I was living and growing up in the conservative town of Paradise, CA. You've heard of those towns that have a church on every corner, well Paradise is basically that. My hometown is not very large, but there is a large number of religious meetings houses in it. The majority of churches are based in Christianity. Many of them would ban together for activities, but the Mormons (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) were never included in that circle. We were the metaphorical kid who sat alone at lunch.

I became aware of the fact that my being Mormon was not welcomed by many at a very young age. I remember the first time I felt discriminated against simply because I was Mormon. I was in first grade. I made a new friend that lived just down the street and around the corner from me. She was my age, but in a different class. We sat together on the bus, traded snacks, played outside, and even played at each others houses a couple times. Then, one day my friend came on the bus, and everything changed. I smiled and slid over to make room for my friend. With a sullen face, she then told me that she couldn't sit with me anymore. Understandably perplexed and hurt, I asked why. She explained her mother wouldn't allow it because I was Mormon. My friend turned, walked further down the isle to another seat, and then I never got to see her again. I didn't understand. I was Mormon and I knew that, but why would that mean we couldn't be friends? I wasn't exactly going around preaching on the blacktop. I'm not even sure how her mother knew I was Mormon. When I got home, my own mother tried to console me, but I still didn't understand. I also didn't know that it was just the beginning.

Many Mormons grow up in areas where it seems everyone is Mormon and others grow up in areas where no one even really knows what a Mormon is. In my town, everyone knew, or at least knew what their church said Mormons were. When I was a child, the Mormon issues were infrequent and often, quite frankly, silly. I recall a girl in fourth grade so hell bent on disagreeing with anything and everything to do with Mormons that she wanted to argue with me that her church was closer to KFC (yes, the fast food chain). I wouldn't have argued with her, but it was and still is fact that I was right. What I would give for my religious debates these days to be so simple.

By fifth grade I had learned a lot of odd things other churches were saying about Mormons. The previous school year proved to be a very challenging one. Thanks partly to "mean girl syndrome" and partly to the, once again fact that I was Mormon, I was bullied off and on. The most serious moment was probably when a group of girls chased me down and threatened to smash my head on a large nearby rock for no apparent reason. Due to the bullying, my mother home-schooled me for a year. Despite the nature of home-school, I managed to make a new friend who was also taught at home. One afternoon we were playing in an awesome tree fort in the middle of the woods overlooking the reservoir and I decided to try a new approach. This new friend didn't know I was Mormon, so I sneakily brought it up first to gauge her feelings. I asked my friend if she knew anything about Mormons. She asked me if those were the people that have horns and tails. THIS was a whole new level. I couldn't help but start to laugh. Seriously?! How could they have horns and tails? Have you seen someone with them? Well no, she said, maybe they are retractable. I then explained to my friend that I was Mormon, that we didn't have horns and tails, and that she was more than welcome to investigate my head for retractable horns.

During middle school, I attended a sixth through eighth grade charter school. As my mother regularly volunteered to come into my classrooms to give a proper presentation (wearing our pioneer ancestor's clothes and toting along a pioneer trunk full of heirlooms) whenever my history teachers would cover a section on Mormonism, it didn't take long for my classmates to know what I was. Though I had classmates that tried to get me to cuss or arguments about whether or not my presentation group was going to serve coffee or not, religion was mostly kept at bay. Honestly, during those years, there are so many other things going on, I'm not surprised my being Mormon was placed on the back burner of others' concerns. I surrounded myself with some really nice friends during that time, many of whom would probably have been considered misfits, but that did not feel any need to put each other down.

Though many of them have likely forgotten, I was invited to be part of the "cool" group when I first started at the charter school. I happily accepted the invitation to eat with the cools girls, but then quickly learned what they had to offer was not my cup of tea. As I spoke with the girls, they told me how I could be part of the group and that So and So (who was absent that day) was out and I was in. When I asked why, they told me because she was too fat (yes, I was a lot skinner back then lol). I made it in! I was going to be cool! I would be set through high school! Though it was tempting to eat lunch with the cool girls the next day and have my social life set for the next seven years, I couldn't stand the fact that they dumped their friend because she was a little plump. I knew what it was like to be picked on unfairly and I wanted no part of it. After I left the cool group they welcomed their friend back the next day. That plump girl never knew. I never told her. We're still friends today. And for the record, I'm friends with some of those "cool" girls today too . . . it's nice when we all grow up and mature. So with more focus on popularity and boys, my Mormonism was mostly overlooked for a few years.

High school started and Mormonism didn't seem to be a problem until we all started to get to know each other more (or that's at least what I remember). By Sophomore year I became aware of "Bash Week." Okay, it wasn't officially called Bash Week, but some of us (especially Mormons) began to refer to it as such. Every year the "great and spacious" church would host a week where each night they would expose various religions. For the record, I'm only poking fun about the great and spacious building reference; there are some wonderful people that attend that church, but it is quite large compared to the rest. One night was, of course, reserved for discussing Mormonism. At these meetings they did not have a member of that faith come and share with the group . . . that would make too much sense. Since I was not invited, nor would I probably have wanted to go if I were, I don't actually know what was said. From the aftermath each year I can make some assumptions though. A lot of things were taken out of context. Fear tactics were utilized to get everyone not only agitated, but sometimes down right angry with the Mormons (and other faiths). Every year they seemed to pass out a list of questions that they were supposed to use to stump the Mormons. While, at the time, being bombarded with these questions and attacks was overwhelming, I am now grateful for the silver lining it provided. As a result, I learned a lot of things about Mormonism and the holes others like to poke in it that many members are not aware of. These things were never discussed in Sunday School. While so much could not be proven (that's just not how religion works), I was able to find some explanations and ideas to use to sort through it all. In high school it was different, and particularly challenging because the slights and attacks were usually coming from those I considered to be friends.

Perhaps other Mormons in my town had a different experience, they tended to stick together and hang out mostly with other Mormons. I had a number of people tell me how surprised they were to learn that I was Mormon throughout high school. This wasn't because I was off raising hell, but because most of my close friends weren't Mormon and I didn't hang with the herd. My high school best friend, an Evangelical Christian, and I would wander around visiting friends of ours from various cliques. We had friends that were skaters, stoners, jocks, nerds, geeks, musicians, cheerleaders, goths, misfits, artists, and literal drama queens. Obviously we spent more time with some of those friends than others, but our circle was large.

As I got older and started to date, I realized a whole new complication that religion was going to play in my life for many years to come. One particular boyfriend of mine happened to attend the "great and spacious" church. He was and still is a fantastic person and we remain friends today. With that said, he dealt me what I consider to be one of the most hurtful insults I have ever received. We had a great relationship and happily were open to attending each others' church activities. During an activity (that I was not at) one of his church leaders spoke to him about how being with me was the same as being un-yoked with God and that he should dump me. A lot of pressure was put on this young man and we started to forget how much we had in common and instead saw only what was different. A lot of salvaging attempts were made, but we both knew it wasn't going to last. I will never forget one conversation we had where he told me that WHO or WHAT I prayed to was not God, was not Jesus Christ, and that He did not hear my prayers. This was in reference to the idea the Mormons have a different Jesus, a different God, than other Christian denominations. Someone whom I loved had told me that God didn't hear my prayers. I remember bursting into tears of frustration and sadness. I couldn't understand how he could think such a thing. I couldn't understand how that mentality was Christlike or Christian. Shortly thereafter, I learned that the idea that Mormons have a different God and Jesus was fairly common amongst Evangelical Christian denominations. I am also aware of the biblical references they provide as explanation, so there's no need to bring that up in a comment. I know now that what was said was merely parroting of what he had learned in church, and I hold nothing against him today.

Except for my first and current, every other romantic relationship I have had has ended, at least in large part, due to religion. Even when attending BYU, I managed to find myself a returned missionary that eventually asked me to leave the church with him and get married. You can imagine how thrilled I was when I found myself with a boyfriend from India who had never even heard of Mormonism. But that too, ended largely because of religion.

While attending college, my high school friends stayed in touch through Facebook and Instant Messaging. Religious conversations continued, but they generally were more conversations than angry debates by this point in our lives. I do recall one exception. One of my dear high school friends went to attend a biblical college of some sort. He was thrown into his faith at school as much or even more so than I was at BYU. One night he was filled with an exceptional amount of piss, vinegar, fire, and brimstone. There was no conversation to be had. Quite frankly, he ripped me a new one and anything I had to say fell on deaf ears. I was bummed about the situation, but I quickly shrugged it off because it was just a normal part of my life. People didn't like Mormons, saw them as a threat, and felt the need to argue doctrine with them . . . I had accepted this as fact. Some time later my friend messaged me again, but this time to apologize. It was the first time anyone had really apologized to me for Mormon bashing. I will never forget his kind words. He concluded that we were both children of God and that what he was saying and doing was not Christ-like. He asked for my forgiveness and I have never been more happy to give it. Though he was only apologizing for one simple conversation, it represented so much more.

By now you may be thinking, man, your religion has kind of been a pain in the butt. Sometimes it certainly is! It was especially a pain concerning relationships. At one point in my life I grew so sick of the discrimination and failed relationships that I tried to leave the church. There were other reasons as well, but as you can see, my fleeing attempt did not work. I am very much back and still here. Fortunately I found Jarrod, who proved to be everything I had been searching for. Unfortunately, that didn't mean the attacks and insults for merely being Mormon ended. Mormonism slander has continued to follow me into the work place and everyday life, but I'm prepared. I've been getting prepared for this my whole life. Why do other Mormons coast through life without any personal attacks and my life is full of them (many of which are not listed in this blog) is beyond me. I am grateful for my life challenges because they are part of who I am today, and I think I'm pretty much awesome!

These days I get much more slack from other Mormons because of my feminist and sociological views than I do from non-members, but that's a whole other story. Though it has been some time since someone has started to go down the list of "stump the Mormon" questions, they are still alive and well. What actually prompted me to write this blog post was seeing someone try to tell my father that his God and his Christ are different than those spoken of in the Bible. Will it ever end? Will we ever learn to truly respect each others' faith and stop trying to tell others what THEY believe?

Confessions & Speaking Up

2013-09-06T00:51:00.002-07:00

We all have certain aspects of our lives that we keep private. Some of this is on purpose and some of it just never comes up, so it becomes private by default. I find that a lot of people have a hard time sharing with others and that a lot of people feel an overwhelming sense of failure or embarrassment concerning their imperfections or quirks. I wonder if these two things are connected. Do some of us not share because we're concerned that it could expose our weaknesses and imperfections? Certainly we all know that no one is perfect, so what are some of us afraid of? Is it the potential judgement that keeps our lip zipped? None of us are really in a position to cast the first judgmental stone. I know I'm not an expert on this and that I'm a very open book. I've said a number of times that if someone has the cajones to ask me a question, I'll answer it.

I have been told a number of times that others feel at ease around me. I have found that when I open up and share with others, they often feel more comfortable sharing with me unprovoked. Perhaps it's a case of you show me yours and then I'll show you mine. I love when people share with me and especially when we find that we have experiences in common that were unknown before. This could be anything as silly as having the same favorite childhood cartoon to anything as serious as having gone through the same emotional cycle associated with the struggles of infertility.

While I certainly do not advocate that we should all go around sharing every thought, like, experience, and quirk we have, there are some specific situations that benefit greatly from the ability to open up. You certainly have better odds of making more friends and finding that someone special if you go out of your way to bring up some of your interests and perhaps even some quirks on a regular basis. People who have been sexually assaulted have a significantly easier time recovering if they talk about their experience with others. Sure, occasionally sharing or standing up for what we believe is right in person or on a Facebook post backfires, but most of the time I have received positive responses (even if we don't agree), especially from those who know me. In a world filled with cruelty, bullying, and judgment, it's hard to give humanity the benefit of the doubt, but we should try it more often. Just because you don't hear/see others sharing your experiences, quirks, or opinions, doesn't mean that others don't share them with you, they may just be waiting for someone else to speak up first. Be bold people! And also, be polite if you're sharing something boldly ;-)

So, I'm not going to ask you to share any deep dark secrets or difficult experiences, but perhaps we can move towards a more open and loving atmosphere by just sharing simple things, even silly things more frequently. I've done a lot of standing up/soap boxing lately, so I'll go first with a simple confession/quirk of mine. Okay, are you ready? I eat baby/toddler food. Yup, it's true. I don't mean that's all I eat . . . uhhg, I can only imagine the terrible impact that would have on my body and sanity. What I mean is that I love it for snacks or as part of a meal. I'm not talking about some nasty tasting mashed up peas with chicken chunks. I LOVE the line that Plum Organics makes. Their baby/toddler food makes for awesome snacks that are much healthier than so much in the market that is targeted for adults. Everything they make that I have ever bought is certified organic, without GMOs, unsweetened, unsalted, and without artificial ingredients. All the stuff even comes in BPA free packaging. What's not to like about that? Fast food/snacks that are real, healthy, low calorie, and yummy . . . yes!

What I love most about this company is the way they combined fruits and vegetables into deliciousness. I love everything from their super puffs, fruit/veggie fruit snacks, yogurt dippers with natural graham crackers, and baby food combinations that are basically like little smoothies. Blueberry, pear, and purple carrot? Sweet potato, mango, and millet? Raspberry, spinach, and Greek yogurt? Yes to all! If you think I'm crazy, you should try it before you knock it. Honestly, I would be surprised to find out that none of my parent friends out there snack on baby/toddler food products. So next time you see me with something that says organic baby food, or I'm browsing the baby isle in Target, just know I'm getting my healthy snack on ;-) Okay, you're turn. Let's hear some quirky confessions! Anyone else share my snack quirk?

Take Me to Paradise City

2013-08-08T14:19:00.000-07:00

Now THIS is the city of trees . . . eat your heart out Sacramento.

"Take me down to Paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty." Though Guns N Roses aren't actually singing about my hometown, the lyrics are very fitting (in my biased opinion). Jarrod's company made an error a year or so ago and failed to give him one of his weeks of vacation, so we got a surprise week off together. We headed off to Paradise for a surprise baby shower for my childhood friend Anna and to meet her new husband Ryan. After the shower we stayed for a couple days to spend some time with my parents.

They took us on a decent 3 mile hike to a cool "cave" that is highlighted in their recent book. It took more than a little convincing to make me go down the completely eroded shale rock slide into the pit of darkness (that is filled with holes and jutting railroad lumber).


I still maintain that my parents are crazy for going into places like this.


Very steep entrance, but nice and cool at the bottom!

I was surprised how large the cavern was. It's a collapsed railroad tunnel that goes back about 275 feet before you reach the collapsed end. If you're interested in learning more about it or how to find it, you should purchase my parents' new book "The Flumes and Trails of Paradise," which you can buy HERE.

We picked some delicious wild blackberries along the way and enjoyed the beautiful scenery. The sky was so blue compared to Sacramento that I felt like I had stepped into a Photoshopped world. I miss the cleaner air and water already!

The photo simply cannot do the colors justice.

While visiting, we were treated to movies and yummy food, including a very interesting "taco truck restaurant." Basically, they tore out a wall for them to park against and inside the building are tables and booths for you to sit and eat out out of the elements. Definitely something new to me and the food burritos were yummy.

After we drove back to Sacramento, we rushed to get ready for a special church activity with the young women's group at the drive-ins. Thanks to Julie, I finally got to properly watch a drive-in movie out of the back of a truck :-) We watched Despicable Me 2 and the minions were as adorable and funny as ever.

We had a large group, but many of our girls were off in the bouncy house when I took this.

Keepin' in classy . . .

It was nice to get away, but it's also nice to be back home to take care of some odds and ends projects that we have been putting off until Jarrod had free time to help me. Why can't there be more vacations?

Christmas in July

2013-08-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

So many times I've heard people use the phrase "Christmas in July." As a child I wondered why we couldn't actually have a fun celebration like Christmas in the month of July. December is packed full of parties and obligations, so why not celebrate when most of us have some free time? About one month ago I decided enough was enough, and that it was high time to celebrate the un-holiday. That, and I found some odd things in a box that read white elephant gift loud and clear!

With children and adults we had a good sized group of about 25, which never would have been possible with an indoor party at our current place. I didn't want to drag out our buried box of Christmas decorations, so I made streamers from dollar tree table clothes and snowflakes from paper and string to hang over the food area. The entire party had a nice Christmas feel, as we had holiday music playing in the background. We also had some summer themed decorations (including Hawaiian leis for everyone) and the kids stayed happy playing in our small inflatable pool while the adults chatted.

We had a delicious potluck where I made homemade eggnog for the first time. It seemed to be a big hit, even for some who were not eggnog fans. Our potluck had everything from traditional homemade cookies and pies to BBQ chicken and Chinese food.

After dinner we headed over to the high school field across the street and had a "snowball fight" consisting of over 200 water balloons. They were a pain to fill up, but the payoff was a lot of fun. It was also pretty refreshing on a hot summer day.

We ended the night with our white elephant gift exchange. After lots of laughs and stealing of presents, Jarrod and I managed to get some of the best gifts. I think we'll have to load up the hard candy shot glasses with some of the left-over eggnog.

The party was a ton of fun and I would love for it to become a new annual tradition of ours. Have any of you ever celebrated Christmas in July? If so, what did you do? I would love more ideas for next year :-) Thanks to everyone who came!

Summer Vacation

2013-07-05T18:13:00.001-07:00

Jarrod gets two weeks off per year, so we try to plan very carefully. He usually tries to schedule himself off for finals week, but we decided we needed to use one of the vacations for fun! We have had bad camping weather luck a few times, so we thought picking a date at the end of June was totally safe. We reserved a spot months ago at Bodega Bay/Doran Beach. It'll be a nice break from the Sacramento heat we said. It'll be nice and sunny at the beach we said. As it turned out, there was a freak storm/cold spell that lasted through the days we were camping (naturally).

Pancakes for all!

We knew it was going to rain but we couldn't get our money back, so we pressed on. I got really sick with food poisoning and more on the way down, but we pressed on. We set up in the rain, but it was fairly light and not something we were unfamiliar with. When I took out our air mattress, I quickly realized that nearly half of it was covered in disgusting colorful mold. I guess someone didn't air it out last time it was used (crap). We didn't want the mold to transfer to anything else so we ripped open the two garbage bags we brought and borrowed some Duct Tape from a nice elderly kayaker. At the end of our trip we of course had to throw out the mattress :-(

Poor Kiirah was not liking being cold and wet at all

My attempt at something new and "fancy" for camping - Peaches with light butter, cinnamon, marshmallows, strawberries, and white chocolate

The beach area was pretty well fogged in for most of our stay, but we could still see the tide, smell the breeze, and hear the happy seals . . . unfortunately we could also hear the fog horn all day and all night for the entire trip. If it were a low toned cool sounding fog horn it would have probably been relaxing. The fog horn we were blessed with sounded more like someone's car alarm was dying.


View from our beautiful campsite

Cool spiderweb I found

The second day it was only misty in the morning so we walked along the beach and had Kiirah get some playing and exercise. It rained pretty hard from the early afternoon until we left the next morning. When we went to eat lunch, the bread from our sandwiches was all molded (guess the air was just THAT moist, as I had just made the sandwiches before we left on new rolls). It was coming down so much that evening that we skipped dinner. We made the best of things by getting cozy in the tent with snacks, card games, and our portable DVD player (we watched Pocahontas and Over the Hedge). Though it sounds like a dreadful trip, we really did have fun and we got lots of nice sleep in the rain.

After we returned home, aired everything out extensively (I freely admit the tent is still up in the backyard), did a TON of laundry (since everything was wet), and showered, we started to plan the rest of our vacation week. As soon as we returned the weather became hot as Hades. We spent the rest of our time trying some new restaurants, going to the movies, playing mini golf, and playing laser tag. Neither of us had played laser tag before and it was a blast (*checks off bucket list*)! I want to go again . . . right now! I would also gladly welcome back the rain again.

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary . . .

2013-06-03T23:35:00.000-07:00

Though it's filled with various critters at night, I've been amazed by how many things grow in our yard/garden. Since the home we rent belongs to an elderly woman, most things are pretty flowers or low maintenance herbs. From early spring into the summer every time we think everything has bloomed and died off, something new pops up!

So many beautiful roses in so many colors


Rosemary

Lavender

Is this sage??? That's my guess.

In addition to these pictures we have a mint bush, daffodils, and a number of other types of flowers. I love it! Once it's not so hot out I think I'll go sit barefoot on our back porch with the puppy to sip some lemonade with fresh mint leaves. And if doesn't cool down, I'll blow up our little pool (you remember, the one that we used in our living room last year ha ha!). Hope you've been enjoying all the beautiful things outside lately.

Catching Up In the Rat Race

2013-05-21T01:16:00.000-07:00

The past few months have escaped me and I've become a total slacker when it comes to my blogging. Here's what you've missed . . .

Kiirah puppy turned 3! Though she's really not technically a puppy anymore, it seems to have become part of her name. With options spread out on the ground, she picked out a special wet food dinner, a new squeaky toy, and a bone. It seems that Kiirah has finally outgrown mischievous behavior and is now a grown up good little pup. She brings so much joy and love to our little family.

One really big thing is that I officially starting my collegiate teaching career! My hard work finally paid off, and I have been teaching part-time for University of Phoenix. I have more classes this Fall and many more to fill up next year. The job doesn't really pay the bills, but it gives me experience in this tough economy to get my foot in the door. My students said that I was a tough grader, but that they really enjoyed my class and learned a lot. I think that means I was a total success! I had a lot of fun and look forward to the Sociology courses I have coming up.

My First Classroom

One of the faculty members that I met was a very sweet older woman. Every night we would run into each other while making copies. One night she surprised me with a really nice official UoP messenger bag. She said that she had been teaching for 14 years and they have given her more than she can use. It was very touching that she would think of me and it made some of the other faculty in the room who had been teaching there for years without getting such a cool bag a bit jealous :-p I also lucked out in that my first course ran during faculty appreciation week. Hooray for more goodies!

Jarrod also had a birthday, but we didn't get to celebrate it properly at the time. Jarrod came down with a really bad cold and then had the decency to share it with me. By the time I got the cold, it had morphed into the plague. Day 1 I got hit hard and fast with the cold. Day 2 I got food poisoning. Day 3 I woke up with double pink eye. Day 4 I tried to pitifully finish prepping for my class the next evening. Day 5 I nearly died teaching my 4 hour class, but my students got a kick out of me convincing them that I had pink eye and wasn't high. The cold lasted for weeks with a terrible cough, but after 2 rounds of antibiotics, I finally kicked it.

What we expected to be a fairly simple fix on my old Honda Civic turned out to be repairs nearly exceeding the worth of the car. While I was sad to sell off my old friend, I was thrilled about getting a new car. Jarrod and I picked out an adorable Mini Cooper S. We even got the dealer to go down 1K (putting it 3K below KBB value). While it doesn't have a lot of extra space, it handles amazingly and is really fun. It also has a fantastic sound system. We also recently adopted my Dad's old Accord. Jarrod and I have been sharing one car for over two years now, so it feels very strange having the freedom to come and go as I please.

I'm always keeping myself busy working with the young women's group at church. One night all the Beehives came over to our house for a class activity. We decorated savings jars, played some Mario Kart, and totally failed at replicating a Pintrest dessert (but it still tasted good). Recently we've had a few activities up at the temple (taking pictures, baptisms, and service activities). We also had a really fun night at the bowling alley. I'm pretty sure they all kept throwing gutter balls to inflate my bowling self-esteem ;-) Most recently we held a very time consuming fund raiser for the girls to go to camp this summer. It was a great success and Jarrod was very helpful with our auction. Many ward members came up to me throughout the night expressing how much they loved his enthusiasm.

After years of buying things through eBay, I finally tried my hand at selling. The limited edition Batman Funko Pop I sold didn't even last 24 hours before it sold for over $200! I'm pretty proud of doubling my money on the duplicate Pop. A wise person would save that money, but if I'm being honest with myself, it will probably go back into getting other Pops for our collection later this year. My Batman collection is ever growing. My most recent score was a free Batman alarm clock that someone brought to the ward RS swap night.

Mother's Day was a fairly challenging time for me emotionally. While I fully appreciate my own mother, other mothering influences in my life, and the celebration of womanhood in general, I couldn't help but feel very sad about the fact that I do not have a child of my own. Trying to dismiss the idea that some church members placed in my head growing up that my main role in life was to be a mother and that I was currently failing at such is easier said than done. I have long admired a particular Demdaco willow tree statue and decided that I would finally buy one for myself. While most describe the figure as a happy young couple dancing at their wedding, I have always seeing love, deep pain, and comfort in the figure since I first saw it as a teenager. I felt it was a perfect symbol of the love and strength that Jarrod and I find within each other as we struggle with infertility.

As many of you have probably experienced, in the moment you find that you are about to start living out your life as planned, everything changes. Due to a number of unexpected factors Jarrod is planning to go to school full-time starting this Fall semester and I am attempting to find a full-time job with benefits as the sole bread winner. While this change will likely put a temporary damper on my teaching career plans, I am excited to see Jarrod go after his dreams as well. The feminist in me is grateful for the opportunity, but the rest of me feels very overwhelmed at potentially holding multiple jobs along with a church calling and continuing to take steps toward starting a family. Prayers, good karma, and job opening tips are greatly welcomed! Expect more frequent blogs to follow.

Chop Chop!

2013-03-05T18:21:00.000-08:00

A year ago Jarrod explained that he was curious what he would look like with long hair. Jarrod has always kept his hair fairly short. I was curious too, so I fully supported the endeavor. I'm not going to lie, getting through the ugly fluffy stage wasn't easy on the eyes; nevertheless, we hung in there. The results? I'm pretty jealous. Jarrod has thick hair with natural curls. Such a waste! I should have that hair. At least our future kids have a good shot at it. Enjoy the haircut photos . . . Jarrod was a very good sport!


I thought of Tania when I did this one.

Artistic Look

Emo Hair

A Kissy Faced Elvis

So wrong, but I had to.

A LOT of hair!

I'm sure we'll both miss his curls at times, but I am also certain that come hot weather, he'll be much happier. Either way, he's a stud muffin ;-)

Snow Day

2013-02-19T00:13:00.000-08:00

This weekend Jarrod and I drove some of the girls for the youth sledding/snow trip with our church up to Icehouse. Though the hill the young men chose for sledding proved to be a bit steep and dangerous, the view was beautiful! I wish it would snow in Sacramento every year. With that said, our location is very fortunate in that we're fairly close to the snow, mountains, trees, ocean, and bay all at the same time. Saturday's trip made me realize how much I miss getting away from all the pavement and houses. Here are some pictures from our adventure!

Ahhhhh fresh air . . .

People say we always look like we're up to no good . . . I can't imagine why.

I love how they have the same expression on their faces :-D

There were a bunch of little lakes all around us!

I know, you're jealous of my sweet TMNT hat.

Another nearby lake

Kiirah had so much fun running around on the road with the kids when we first arrived that she tore both of her front paw pads and then had to be carried around for most of the day. Luckily she's healing quickly!

Lots of silliness and laughter during our drive! No, Clarissa isn't biting Kiirah's ear, it just looks that way :-)

Be Mine

2013-02-14T22:52:00.000-08:00

This year Jarrod had school and work filling up his day and evening, so we had a nice quick Valentine's Day at home. I decided to go all out fancy restaurant style with the following mouthwatering menu:

martinelli's
balsamic green spring salad with cherry tomatoes and mushrooms
filet mignon served with bleu cheese over a bed of caramelized onions
bacon and colby jack smashed potatoes
white chocolate covered strawberries

I have to admit, I was pretty impressed with myself. It was delicious! I couldn't finish mine and I still feel stuffed hours later. We ate by candlelight and had nice acoustic guitar music playing while we chatted. After dinner we watched the Big Bang Theory Valentine's Day special (cuz we're just awesome nerds like that). I gave Jarrod a handmade card and bought him some pretty cufflinks for his ever-growing collection.

I have become so bad about updating my blog, but there is at least a good reason for it! I'm currently preparing to teach my first university level course! Though I would prefer it to be in the field of sociology, I'll take what I can get starting out. The course is for University of Phoenix, teaching students how to write college level research papers. Little did I know that I would end up teaching things in my Father's area of expertise! There are far worse footsteps to follow in :-) I'm really proud of myself. I decided towards the end of my senior year in high school that I wanted to to be a college professor and here I am finally making that goal a reality! I'm a bit nervous, feeling out of my element, but I am confident that it will go well. Wish me luck :-D

27 Years Young

2013-01-20T23:03:00.000-08:00

I had an awesome birthday! I felt so much love from friends and family. I truly am blessed to know such awesome people. I am a full believer in celebrating multiple days. On Friday night Jarrod took me out to dinner at Celia's Mexican Restaurant (one of our favorite local places). Though I had to suffer through some very monotone birthday singing and a drum being banged in my face, they gave me the most delicious flan I think I have ever had! While we ate, there was a cute little old man playing clarinet alongside some jazzy recorded love songs. When we were about to leave, Jarrod decided he wanted to leave a couple bucks in the man's collection bowl. The man stopped playing to thank him and then asked if he was "the birthday boy". Jarrod explained that I was actually the birthday girl. The little old man (whose feet didn't touch the ground from the chair he was sitting on) paused the music from his iPod, pushed up his bowler hat, and then proceeded to play the most lovely version of happy birthday I have ever heard. It was incredibly sweet and made my night.

Saturday night we spent time with some of our friends eating, laughing, watching the original Batman movie, playing games, and did I mention laughing? There was so much laughing :-) The highlight of the evening were the amazing Batman cakes that Jarrod made for me. Not many husbands make their wives a cake, and no other husband (that I know of) gives up his much needed sleep to make a 3D Batman cake for his wife with frosting from scratch! Despite many of the dark colors, the frosting flavors were lemon, lime, and orange. He sat there squeezing and grating fruit just for my frosting!

The front cake is the bat signal, and the back cake is Batman out and about the streets of Gotham. Check out the awesome 3D buildings, batmobile, fire hydrant (in case you were wondering), and marshmallow sculpted Batman (much more impressive under the frosting than the picture does justice).

My actual birthday was fairly low key at home with Jarrod and Kiirah puppy. I think they both had been partied out . . . they fell asleep on either side of me after dinner.

Life is good. I feel like I have so much to look forward to right now. Recently I have been trying to finish my 30 by 30 list (future blog to follow). I still have a few open spots and would love to hear what is on your list or what you wish you would have put down.

"Figgy" Pudding

2012-12-30T22:02:00.000-08:00

If you're looking for a new holiday treat to make or have just always wondered what the heck they were singing about in "We Wish You A Merry Christmas", this is the post for you. This year I finally tried my hand at making the delicious persimmon based "figgy" pudding that a dear family friend used to make for my family at Christmas time. I was surprised how easy it was and that mine turned out just like I had hoped! After delivering some to friends, I have had a few requests for the recipe and how to put it together.

What you need:

1 cup persimmon pulp
1 cup sugar
2 tbs melted butter
1 egg
1/2 tsp ground cloves
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 cup flour
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla
plenty of water

A glass bowl that holds 3 cups (try not to get something much smaller or larger)
A pot and steamer

What you need to do:

First you'll want to make up your persimmon pulp (keep the skin on and be sure to remove any large seeds if you have them). I used our nutribullet to create the pulp, but any good food processor should probably do the trick. I found that about 5 regular persimmons would make 3 puddings. Use the larger taller shaped persimmons (like the one below in my picture) and not the short mini pumpkin shaped ones.

Mix pulp and sugar.

Melt your butter (I put the butter in my glass bowl in the microwave - any remaining butter that doesn't pour out I use to butter the dish to prevent sticking).

This is the bowl I use (3 cup Pyrex)

Add in and mix butter and egg.

Then mix in the salt, cinnamon, cloves, flour, and baking soda.

After this, add in the milk and vanilla.

Once you've thoroughly mixed everything, put the batter into your buttered glass bowl. Add plenty of water to your pot and place your glass bowl into the steamer on top and get the water boiling (I have a Calphalon steamer that sits right into the top of my pot). Reduce your heat after it gets going, but make sure it's still steaming. The pudding needs to steam for 2 hours (set a timer, but also periodically check to make sure you still have plenty of water - the pudding soaks up tons of water and you don't want to run out or burn out your pan).

During the steaming process your pudding will turn various colors. Don't worry, it will darken up by the end. The pudding will fluff up past your bowl (this is ok, it should happen, and it makes it easier to get out of the bowl).

After two hours I remove my steamer from the pot, flip it over on a plate, and let the glass cool just enough for me to wiggle the pudding out of it. The pudding should be fairly heavy. It should be nice and moist and taste delicious with some whipped cream. Enjoy!

Holly Jolly

2012-12-26T10:53:00.000-08:00

Though the actual Christmas holiday was very quiet with just the two of us at home, it was still holly and jolly. This year my side of the family gathered together the weekend before Christmas so those with kids could have their own Christmas at home. The biggest excitement this year was meeting our new nephew Asher (Adam and Rachael's first). The morning after we arrived, I woke up to find that it was snowing outside our window . . . and actually sticking! Sadly, by the next day it had all melted away from the rain.

It was a bit strange just being the two of us for Christmas, but the time was still well enjoyed since Jarrod had time off work. Though we had already opened our presents with the family, Kiirah had a puppy stocking that she was surprisingly excited about when it was pulled out. Whoever says dogs are nothing like children clearly doesn't have a loved family dog. She happily gobbled down her bone and spent the rest of the day playing with/destroying her new toys.

Though I am not sure what my favorite gift is that I received, there's a hands down winner for the favorite gift I gave. As always, homemade gifts are often the best. This year I helped my Dad put together a CD for my Grandma Soni (who just turned 90 in October). Despite her age, she's still smart as a whip and lives independently better than many single women 20 years younger. The CD contained various versions of the song "When or Where". She had hinted to my Dad that she would like to have the song, but didn't explain why. We assumed it must have something to do with Grandpa and perhaps was their song and only hoped that she would dissolve the mystery upon receiving the gift.

So going off the assumption that it was a very dear song to my grandparents, I included their wedding picture inside the cover of the CD. On Christmas day I received a call from my Grandma expressing so much gratitude for the gift. She explained that the song was their song in a way and was a little joke between the two of them. Many moons ago, Soni traveled out to New York to see Ross before he left for military duty. Unfortunately, her bag was lost and she only had the clothes on her back. As the song says, "the clothes you were wearing, you were wearing then." During the entire trip she wore the same brown dress each day, and those were the clothes they both fondly remembered during their great visit. My Grandma then explained that when she first started to play the CD she started to cry, but by the end was dancing to the music in the kitchen with herself. Such a sweet mental image. Often the joy we bring to others is the best way to experience the Christmas spirit.

Since this was our first Christmas on our own, I decided it was time to continue a tradition that I grew up with. Each year our family would go around opening presents by age (youngest and most impatient first, of course). After all gifts with name tags were delivered to their recipients we were always left with one gift whose box looked like a wrapped gift on its own, but there was no "to" or "from" tag. Inside the box was the last and greatest gift of all, Jesus Christ. I love this tradition and am so happy with how mine turned out. It's a great way to bring the focus back to Christ and away from all the material distractions that were just opened.

It feels like the past few months have just flown by. As the end of the year draws nearer, I find myself reflecting on past events and speculating about the future. Whatever it brings, I look forward to facing it with my husband by my side.

Where Did The Time Go?

2012-12-14T00:32:00.001-08:00

Just after Halloween I was caught up in a whirlwind of packing, moving, and holiday cheer. I can't believe the year is almost over! We are loving our new place. I can't say enough about how great it is to no longer be sharing walls. Our last batch of bad neighbors on one side were becoming way too much for us and the stairs were starting to really hurt Jarrod's knee injury. The beautiful thing about the new house is that we only have a neighbor on one side of us and they are super quiet! We will be renting this place for at least two years, if not longer. The house has 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. We're of course hoping to put all our new extra space to good use with the expansion of our family, but all good things will hopefully come in time.

In addition to not sharing walls, we now have more space (everywhere), a garage, and a back yard (which makes for a happy Kiirah puppy). I am sure when it warms up again we will have a lot of fun playing in the back or sitting on the nice little deck.

Jarrod has been busy at work and finishing up another semester and I have kept busy with my calling in Young Women's and going through the hiring/certification process to teach for University of Phoenix. I have spent FIVE months jumping through all their hoops, but the end is finally in sight! Hopefully I will be teaching my first course towards the start of the year. Though I use my sociology degree in daily life, it will be nice to officially use it for what I set out to do.

We spent Thanksgiving with the Browne side of the family and met our new nephew Ian (Jacob and Cambria's second child). I also made my very first pie. It was a combination of family recipes. The crust was from one grandma and the pecan filling was from the other. It didn't turn out exactly like my Mom's, but I thought it was still pretty tasty and it looked nice!

Recently we had an activity with the young women looking at Christmas lights. A couple of my favorites included a tribute to A Christmas Story and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. And yes, that is a little child manikin in a bunny suit!

Even though we don't have everything unpacked yet, we decided it was important to get out some Christmas decorations. Here's our little tree that we got for free our first year of marriage with a handful of random ornaments we collected/made.

We also decorated the tree shaped bush outside out place. The bush was begging to be a Christmas tree, and that was easier than putting lights on the house. Unfortunately, the bush has VERY sharp little needles and I cut up my hands decently. Ahhh what we do in the name of beautification ;-)

And in other news, I have lost about 15 pounds. I don't notice much difference, but I am just thrilled that I managed to not only maintain, but continue my weight loss during all the moving craziness and then also not being able to exercise when I first injured my toe. Here's to a healthier new year and hopefully fast growing nails!

Halloween!

2012-10-28T22:00:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been dedicating most of my time towards preparing for a FOUR hour teaching interview I had this weekend. With that maintaining most of my focus, it hardly felt like Halloween was fast approaching. Now that I have dressed up and the festivities have begun, I feel truly in the spirit. This year Jarrod and I ditched our lady bug and giant leaf costumes and decided to be a dragon and viking. It was sort of a How to Train Your Dragon couple's costume, and also a great way to re-use some things from girls camp this summer.

Yes, that's a dragon tail peeking from behind.

Seriously awesome hat!

Friday night our church had a Halloween party. One of the great traditions is to have everyone decorate the trunk of the car for "trunk-or-treat." Children then go around the parking lot, car to car, collecting candy in a safe environment. I always loved this as a child, and still today as an adult. Growing up my Mom always had one of the best (if not the best) decorated car. Halloween is her favorite holiday and she loves to decorate. I think it's safe to say that I inherited all of that from her. Our little Honda Civic's trunk was awesome! Many of the children were so memorized by our cool decorations that they almost forgot to get candy before moving on to the next car. We had a black light, a giant glow in the dark skull, two chomping skull lights, Halloween music, a color changing smoke bubbler, and big hairy spiders! I can only imagine what I would do if I had the space of an SUV!

Then last night we had a few friends over to watch Hocus Pocus and play Halloween Pictionary. We snuggled into the living room well enough, but we're really looking forward to having a bit more room for more friends in the new house!

Scarecrow & Student

Egg & Bacon

Kiirah the hot dog

Our sweet mother to be and . . . Carl ;-)

Clueless . . .

Sadly, Jarrod has to work Halloween night. I will likely spend my evening handing out candy and watching old school Disney Halloween cartoons and any other good Halloween shows on TV with Kiirah. What did you go as this year?

YM/YW Corn Maze

2012-10-18T01:43:00.001-07:00

Perkins Ward YM/YW

Last night we took all the youth from our church out for a fun corn maze activity at Dave's Pumpkin Patch in West Sacramento. Unfortunately, there was a lot of dust flying around during some of the pictures. You can just pretend they are haunted spirits floating by ;-)

It was really nice to be out in the crisp air and away from the city. Some of us (ME) totally forgot about bringing flashlights, but luckily the light of the moon was enough to see by.


I spy the moon . . . through the corn!

After going through most of the corn maze we stumbled upon the "haunted" section of the maze that had graves, a hobo camp (random, but I guess potentially scary), tunnels, and scarecrows. The young men tried so hard to jump out and scare us, but were unsuccessful all evening. Luckily the young women weren't so hard to scare. As leaders we knew we wouldn't get lost because we could constantly hear the girls screaming out and laughing ;-)

Everyone had fun and no one got lost . . . for long. The only things that could have made it more fun are glow sticks and maybe some hot apple cider afterwards.

Trick or treat, that is the question.

Aww . . . so precious!

I feel like I have been so preoccupied with other things that I haven't really had time to soak in the Halloween spirit. This was a great kick-start to get me counting down the days!

Apple Hill

2012-10-08T18:21:00.000-07:00

Doing apple cider shots with the YW . . . yup, we're pretty cool leaders ;-) That, and we forgot real sized cups!

Julie and I took our Beehives out today for an unconventional road trip activity. We are down to only two girls right now, but because they are both doing home school, we have a lot of flexibility with schedules. I have lived in Sacramento for over five years (wow, has it really been that long?!), but I have never made the trek up to Apple Hill. I can now happily cross it off my local bucket list!

Did I mention that we're also SUPER mature leaders? I totally encouraged this photo op.

It was so nice to be away from the city. The air was clean and crisp (it finally felt like October), and the tall trees reminded me of home. There were a lot of fun booths with locally made crafts for sale and plenty of delicious products to sample and buy. We enjoyed snacking on fudge, apple donuts, and delicious apple cider (I have loved their product for years). After wandering around and taking in some of the scenery, we found a quaint apple orchard to each our lunch at. It was fun to spend time with the girls and share our thoughts about conference during the drive. I'd say the day was a great success!

Such a cute picture! Love these girls :-)

Anniversary

2012-09-30T22:30:00.000-07:00

Once again, as October approaches, I am left to a convoluted assortment of thoughts and emotions. Last year, for the first time, I publicly shared some of my thoughts concerning rape and being a victim myself HERE. This year I have stopped to think about how much time has passed. Seven years really seems like a long time, but the event itself is much fresher in my memory. Through the grace of my resiliency, I have continued to live my life, earned both a BS and MA degree, learned a lot about myself through various relationships, married an amazing man, and adopted the best dog ever! I have worked a number of jobs, had countless adventures, and made many new friends that I can't imagine my life without. There have also of course been challenges, but nothing I haven't been able to overcome so far (no God, that wasn't a challenge, please don't test me).

Without trying to sound like I am tooting my own horn, I really am amazed at my younger self. My current calling at our church is serving in Young Women's (girls 12-18). These girls are such sweethearts and I can't imagine seeing any of them go through what I did at 19 (not much older than some of them). It is unfortunate that such heinous things happen in our society, but good can come out of even some of the darkest of situations (which I discussed a bit in last year's post).

Yesterday was "Rachael Day", where Jarrod plans out something fun for the two of us to do together to put my "anniversary weekend" on a happier note (he really is an amazing man). With him busy with school and work, it would have been great just to spend time with him doing anything. What we ended up doing was WAY more than just anything.

The afternoon started off with feeding the ducks at our park (McKinley Park). The nice thing about Jarrod working for Sara Lee is that there is never a shortage of bread around our house! We took Kiirah with us and she seemed to have a lot of fun and only once tried to hop on the ducks. There was a giant goose that kept getting closer and closer to us to try to get bread but it would hiss at Kiirah like crazy. We decided to move to the other side of the pond to avoid a goose brawl.

We've now established that Kiirah is not just part dog, fox, and cat, she is also part monkey ;-)

After the park we dropped Kiirah off at home and went to Costa Vida for dinner mmmm. I was starving, but could only get through half of my burrito. Next up was Scandia! Jarrod got us VIP passes for tokens and unlimited mini golf and rides. He really went all out. We raced little go-karts, went on water bumper boats, and hopped on a classic scrambler ride. After much debating, I agreed to go on the Screamer with Jarrod. The Screamer is this really tall ride that's over 500 feet. At either end of the poles there are half baskets that hold two people. The thing goes up to 70mph, flips you around and upside down, and it give you an awesome view of the entire Sacramento area. It was finally our turn to go on the ride and I was both nervous and excited. Unfortunately, the ride was a total bust (pun intended). The safety straps all fit fine, except for the chest strap. After first accidentally punching me in the boob, you should have then seen how embarrassed the worker (maybe 22 years old) was to then have to tell me that my "chest" was too big for the ride lol. Seriously? Uhhg. So Jarrod went on the ride alone and I had to walk back down the stairs to a crowd of people staring at me. I didn't want them to think I chickened out, so I told them the truth. A random guy in the line said I should take it as a compliment lol.

The Screamer

I golfed better than I ever have before and beat Jarrod on both games. I even made most of the tricky shots into the traps, silly doors, and windmill! Sometimes we have to be proud of the simple things in life. Between games we went inside and played some of the little kid games with our tokens. We remembered that we had saved our earned tickets receipt from the last time we were there so that way we could eventually get a cool prize. Unfortunately the ink had almost completely rubbed off and we couldn't use the 400 or 500 tickets we had on it. I felt pretty bummed and cheated. We then took our tokens and played a couple games. We walked over to this balloon pop game that we have tried and tried to win many times but never have succeeded at. Just as I walked up to it, the thing popped all on its own without any tokens or anyone playing. No one was there or made it happen, but because it popped, all the jackpot tickets started to spill out (over 470 of them). To ensure we would have clear consciences about our luck (or perhaps it was karma to give us all those points back from our old warped receipt), we played one round with our tokens. We happily left that night with a stuffed Domo, two squiggle straws, and two friendship bracelets (cuz ya know, sometimes wedding rings aren't enough ha ha). By the time we got home, we were both completely exhausted from the day and night and would have probably slept forever if we didn't have church in the morning.

The late night/morning of the rape anniversary I usually blast my home with Halloween music while I put up all my Hallween decorations. This year I jumped the gun and they are already up. I'm not really sure what I will do to distract my mind tonight as the hours very soon approach. If else fails, I'll hug the puppy ;-) I appreciate the love, support, and patience of those who remembered my situation tonight and have said kind words and not questioned my extra emotions the past few days. Here's to many more accomplishments and adventures that leave painful memories in the dust.

The "F" Word

2012-09-11T00:57:00.001-07:00

It's been quite awhile since I've done a random ranting . . . so here we go! Today's rant is about the "F" word. No, not THAT word . . . we're talking about feminism. Time and time again I find myself becoming frustrated by how many people do not truly understand what feminism is.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, feminism is:

The theory of political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
Organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests

I would like to point out the following:

No where in the definition did it state a hatred of men (that's misandry)
No where did it state that followers are lesbians (though some are, it's certainly not a requirement)
No where did it state that followers are all female (feminists are male, female, and transgender - though I should note that there is one small radical subset of feminism that believes only females can be true feminists)
No where did it state that followers are haters of religion or God (believe it or not, some religious zealouts are proclaimed feminists)
No where did it state that feminists are unattractive people (though I'm pretty sure that IS in the definition of a chauvinist - I am of course just poking fun)
No where did it state that followers all have harry legs and burn their bras (I'm probably overdue for a shave, but I'd be pretty sad if I didn't have any bras)

Because so many of the rampant stereotypes about feminists are negative, we often hear people make statements like "I'm not a feminist, but . . . ". This is just silly! There is nothing wrong with being a feminist in and of itself. I would argue that with a proper education and knowledge of feminism, the average female AND male would describe themselves as a feminist. To be fair, I am positive that many of you have met feminists that DO in fact meet many of the "non-definitions" I shared above. My argument is not that there are no feminists that are harry lesbian man haters, but that the average feminist does not meet this description. Believe it or not, the world of feminism has a HUGE range and they do not all share the same opinions when you get down to the nitty gritty of specific issues. What they do share is a genuine concern for equality of the sexes and women having rights comparable to that of men. No where in the definition does is state that feminists want to have MORE than men. Again, there are exceptions to every rule, but I am talking about the standard, the reality.

I don't expect everyone to ascribe to every form of feminism out there (I certainly don't), just the very basic premise of feminism. There are SO many branches of feminism, it's a bit overwhelming: Radical Feminism, Conservative Feminism, Libertarian Feminism, Eco Feminism, Gender Reform Feminism, Gender Resistance Feminism, Separatist Feminism, Marxist Feminism, and Lipstick Feminism (just to name a few). In addition to the specific branches of feminism, there are large "waves" of feminism: three to be exact. Each wave, just like each branch, takes a unique approach to feminism and sometimes they are in conflict with one another. Some are shocked when they learn that many modern-day feminists in younger generations support women's right to choose in everything. If you want to be feminine or masculine, a CEO or a stay-at-home mom, many feminists support you, so long as you know you have options and are actually consciously choosing your path.

I do not wish to go into great detail of a history lesson of feminism movements, waves, and branches (though I am happy to suggest some books if you're interested, or if you are only casually interested hit up Google and choose responsible sites). The point I want to make is that I feel the majority of people in our society do not actually understand what the basic concept of feminism is and I want to draw your attention to that. I worry that our society still speaks of feminism in negative terms weighed down with naive stereotypes.

Are you a feminist? Are you ashamed to label yourself as a feminist? Do you help perpetuate false stereotypes about feminism? Do you encourage both the men and women in your life to support feminism? What are you doing to support feminism?

I am a feminist. I am a Mormon. I have a MA degree in sociology. I have fierce opinions about gender, socialization, and equality. I would love to teach part time and be a stay-at-home mom . . . and that's all ok.

Proposiversary

2012-08-29T13:30:00.002-07:00

It was 3 years ago today that Jarrod proposed to me. I remember everything about it so vividly. We had stake conference that weekend, so we were all dressed up and went to the Saturday night session. We had been talking about marriage and even had a ring picked out. I knew I loved Jarrod, but ETERNAL marriage is sort of a LONG time and I practically wanted an angel with a flaming sword to come down and tell to me that he was "the one" before I said yes. I knew no such thing would happen, but I spent a lot of time thinking and praying, trying to get some magical confirmation before he popped the question. Well, no such thing happened and I knew he was a great choice, so I tried to reassure myself that this was "as good as it gets" and how most people felt. As with many things in life, it seems that once you stop trying to force something to happen, it does on its own.

As we sang a song at the conference (sadly, I can't remember what hymn it was to save my life) I heard a voice very clearly in my head tell me that Jarrod was the one I was supposed to marry. I was blindsided and felt an indescribable flood of power and emotion come over me to the point that I couldn't help but look up at Jarrod almost to ask "Did you feel that?", as if an earthquake had just passed us by. When I did glance up at him I was caught by surprise to see him looking at me with an odd look on his face. I assumed he was just trying to figure out why I had stopped singing and randomly given HIM an odd look. Much later I learned that he was looking at me because at that EXACT same moment, he had the same experience. I feel so fortunate to have had such an amazing experience of the Spirit. No matter how difficult some days in marriage can seem, I can always cling to this knowledge that I made the right choice.

After the meeting, our singles ward was having ice cream sundaes in the kitchen area. Jarrod is, and has always been, completely addicted to ice cream. He has been known to consume ridiculous amounts in one sitting, but that night he had less than my meager portion. I of course noticed and asked him about it. He explained that his stomach was bothering him a lot, which I also found strange because (up to that point in our relationship) he was like a goat and nothing phased him or made him sick.

Actual picture from that night in the ice cream line. Jarrod rarely doesn't make faces in pictures.

As we were driving back to my place to watch a movie, Jarrod said that he needed to drop by his place first, which was also strange because he had already left earlier when we were together to make a run to his apartment that day. Despite all the strange behavior, I didn't think too much of it. As we drove the radio blasted the song "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas. I always liked this song, but now it has special meaning to me. As we got out of the car to run into his place, Jarrod said there was a rose he really wanted to show me. At the time Jarrod was living right across the street from McKinley park in Sacramento, which has a giant rose garden. At this point I was very suspicious because it was dark and we were going to go look at a . . . rose? I decided to play along.

As I walked into the garden my high heels began to sink into the grass. While Jarrod looked for this "amazing rose" I bent down a smelled a pretty flower but it didn't have any scent. I was really disappointed and then realized it wasn't even a rose. It had no business being in that garden! The next rose I found was pure white and it smelled amazing, but as soon as I gently let go of it, almost all of the petals fell off and Jarrod laughed at me for killing it. Then the moment came and Jarrod found the rose! It was a large bush with lots of unique pink roses all over it. I leaned over to smell the roses and as I turned around Jarrod was down on one knee with a ring. His words were simple, but perfect.

On the anniversary of, we usually stop by the park at night where it all happened. Since Jarrod has to work tonight we stopped by last night and found our bush of roses. We both laughed when we saw that pretty much all of the white roses on the bush next to it had already lost all their petals. This just proves I didn't have a deadly touch! I can sleep well again ;-) It was fun to sit and reminisce.

Anyone who has seen the picture we had done on our honeymoon quickly knows that we love Disney and have a thing in particular for Beauty and the Beast. This year as a "proposiversary" gift for us I bought (for a steal) this cute wooden statue entitled "Love Conquers All" by Jim Shore.

It's funny, but when I first moved here to Sacramento and drove by that rose garden I thought hmm what a nice park and oohh look at that rose garden . . . that feels like a nice place to get proposed to . . . what an odd thought Rachael . . . and then I kept driving. Jarrod told me that he had a similar experience when he moved here as well, but neither of us shared that with the other person until after the fact. I don't know if it was coincidence or fate, but it's pretty cool. I can't help but feel like so many things were purposefully directing us together. I am so glad that Jarrod asked me to marry him three years ago. If the past is any indication of what we have ahead of us, it's going to be an amazing adventure!

I Never Said I Wanted To Grow Up

2012-08-23T15:10:00.000-07:00

I remember being a little kid who loved to dress up and play pretend. I also remember when my best friend started to become obsessed with growing up and being cool. She got herself the largest case of makeup I have ever seen (still to this day) and started dressing like she was in jr high (we were FAR from it). Don't get me wrong, she pulled it off, but it was a noticeable point of change in my childhood and right then I knew things would never be the same. We still had lots of fun through the years and are still best friends from childhood.

Though I certainly looked forward to certain aspects of growing up, I don't ever recall wishing to grow up any faster than it was going to come on its own. At age 26 I still don't really want to grow up and I don't intend to. That doesn't mean I want to shirk responsibility or so many of the awesome things that come with "adult life", but I think there is a certain young mentality you can hold onto forever. I'm lucky enough to have a husband that shares and supports this mentality.

As a child I ALWAYS wanted to have a set of those cool scented markers, but alas, it was never meant to be. I can't tell you how ridiculously thrilled I was to find some in the back to school section with Jarrod the other day at the store. I can't decide what to draw first! I also can't help but notice that scented markers almost seem like they are a promotional gateway to inhalants lol (which we just told our YW on Sunday are bad bad bad, but don't you worry, I won't abuse my markers).

Another way I have found to keep growing up at bay is to take silly pictures. Here's a recent sample:

Om Nom Naan Pizza

2012-08-23T14:14:00.000-07:00

First off, I have to praise my friend Jara for introducing me to the idea of using naan (Indian bread) for pizza crust. I absolutely love it and this has become a regular meal at our place. Though the bread is a bit steep in calories, it is super tasty and is so much better than the pizzas you can get delivered.

What you Will Need: (makes 2 pizzas)

One Package Naan Bread (My favorite easy to find brand is the garlic version of Stonefire - usually get it at Walmart but you can find it at Savemart, etc.)
1 8oz can of Tomato Paste
Shredded Mozzarella Cheese (1 1/2 - 2 cups)
Italian Seasoning
Garlic Powder (for garlic lovers)
Crushed Red Pepper (if you like a kick)
Toppings

Directions:

First I cover my baking tray from my toaster oven with tin foil to cut down on mess.
Lightly brush the bottom of each piece of naan with olive oil (helps to keep the crust from getting too soggy while cooking).
Flip the naan over and arrange on baking tray. Spread tomato paste over naan (for two pizzas I use about 3/4 of the can).
Next I sprinkle on Italian seasoning and some crushed red pepper for kick.
Then add on cheese (I can't imagine you would need more than 1 cup for each, if that).
Next, if you're a garlic lover, sprinkle on some garlic powder over the cheese.
Then add on whatever toppings you would like. Usually I stick to making veggie pizzas at home and keep it simple: mushroom, olive, bell pepper, basil, anything that floats your boat.
Then I throw it in my toaster oven, hit the "pizza button" and take it out once the cheese is starting to bubble and brown in a couple spots.

I usually keep this a finger food meal and pair it with carrot sticks and fresh berries, but it's also yummy with spinach salad. Using 1/2 a pizza as a serving, when I make it up with a generous amount of olives, there are roughly 328 calories.

Crepes

2012-07-29T21:40:00.000-07:00

Last night Jarrod and I had a much overdue crepe dessert night . . . and it was DELICIOUS! Awhile back a few of you asked me to post about how we do our crepes, so here it is! They are super easy and you don't have to buy a fancy pan (like some people claim).

What you will need (makes about 5 crepes):

3/4 cup flour
1 1/4 cup milk
3 eggs
butter (as needed for frying pan)
fillings: whipped cream, fresh fruit, caramel, chocolate, maple syrup, ice cream, nutella . . . basically whatever floats your boat

You can enjoy this dessert without too much guilt if you use skim milk, go easy on the butter, and pick smart fillings. We used light whipped cream, fresh fruit, and zero calorie Walden Farms caramel sauce.

Directions:

Beat eggs and milk together, then add flour and mix thoroughly.
Heat large non-stick frying pan (medium high - depending on your stove) and then prep with some butter.
Pour batter into pan. Crepes should be thin, so don't put in too much batter (shouldn't be like a pancake). Often the first crepe is a throw away/ugly duckling so don't stress out too much about it.
Once the first side is firm enough to flip and the uncooked center isn't super runny flip it over (the second side won't take as long to cook).
Then re-butter the pan for each crepe. We usually just cook up our batch all at once and just keep them warm between a couple plates.
Then pile on whatever fillings you like and enjoy.

Crepes are awesome for date night, build your own with the kids, or a crepe bar party with friends. Also, you can use this same recipe to make breakfast, lunch, or dinner crepes (which are also very yummy). What do you like to put in your crepes?

The Dark Knight Rises Once More

2012-07-20T23:15:00.000-07:00

"I'm Batman!"

My friend Katherine (another Batman aficionado) unexpectedly drove down from Chico to go to the midnight showing of the last Batman movie (Dark Knight Rises) with me! It was the perfect way to celebrate the start of my half birthday. Donning our bat shirts, bat temporary tatoos, and other bat accessories, we were clearly proud fans (not to mention the Gotham grape shower gel I used that morning). The hardest part of getting ready was trying to decide which Batman shirt, bag, and necklace to use (yes, I have that many options people).

Rachael: Batman Pop shirt, Batman tote, Batman wallet, Batman necklace, Batman tattoos, Batman blanket
Katherine: Batman shirt, Batman cape, Batman mask, Batman tattoos, Batman bracelet

We planned everything out in advance and were set up in our comfy camping chairs, eating dinner, and watching the ORIGINAL Batman movie on my portable DVD player when suddenly the theater workers announced that they would let us in. It wasn't even 10:00 and they let us in. Sadly, they didn't provide us with any warning so we could ditch our chairs in the car. As we put our chairs up (not having even stepped out of line yet) the people behind us jumped up and just cut us out of the line. Almost everyone there was some high school twit (very few people looked like real fans). Midnight showings really started to take off with Star Wars, but those people were there because they were big fans and they had line etiquette. Those people never would have trampled you over. These days they run midnight showings for TONS of movies and it's just "the thing" to do with your buddies (hence, the high school twits - not that all high schoolers are twits, but these ones were). I shoved my way back into line while Katherine ditched the stuff in her car, only to realize that I had her ticket so I couldn't go in to find us seats. By the time she got back nearly 40 people had already trudged into the theater. I am so annoyed that they didn't give us a warning! Despite all of that, we got fairly decent seats and continued to watch our movie inside.

Na na na na na na na na . . . Batman!

While inside, we saw what seemed to be underage kids wandering the theater with booze in hand. We also saw a guy wearing a Spider Man shirt (so blasphemous on Batman opening night)! As we watched our classic movie we couldn't help but notice random guys leaning our way trying to see what we were laughing so hard at. "Is that Batman? That can't be . . . it's too old!" Seriously?! Batman has been around forever! Some people! Eventually we heard one guy telling his friends that "someone" was over there watching Batman and then the friend responded with a shocked and snickering tone of "Are those . . . girls?!" At this point Katherine had had it and turned and yelled, "YES, yes we ARE girls!" I added on that we even came on our own without boyfriends :-p We seemed to be the only girls that went to the movie without boys. Despite the majority, we luckily ended up sitting next to what seemed to be the only nice and sane people in that theater.

Only good thing the Folsom theater did was give us free dark knight stickers for being some of the first in line

So enough about all of that . . . the movie was great! I would go into detail about what I thought, but I know many of you haven't seen it yet and don't want any spoilers. All I will say is that Hathaway wasn't all that bad and didn't kill it (how I feared) and that I am already excited to see it again on Tuesday with Jarrod at the drive-ins.

I of course cannot end this blog without noting my deep sorrow for the shooting tragedy that occurred at one of the Batman midnight showings in Colorado that left at least 12 dead and many others injured. From what I have read thus far, the shooter had dyed his hair red and claimed he was the Joker. He threw out some homemade tear gas and then shot out randomly at everyone in the theater. The shooter also set up booby traps (if you will) in his apartment for the police to find. It also seems that the shooter showed signs of mental/behavioral instability (to some degree) and interest in weapons some time ago. If this was his way of paying tribute as a fan of the Joker character, it is dreadful. Between Joker actor Heath Ledger's death and this recent tragedy, I fear that the Joker's character will always remain tarnished and truly dark. My heart goes out to the families and friends directly impacted by this incident. With that being said, I will not allow this cowardly act to tarnish my love of Batman and the fun that I had with my friend.