SrMeetUp!

A STIMULUS PACKAGE YOU CAN CALL YOUR OWN

2009-10-22T15:53:00.004-04:00

Create Your Own Stimulus Package

These past 14 months have been an extremely tough period for most of us. As an executive recruiter in the pharmaceutical industry for the past 23 years, I have experienced some short stinted blips of recession effects on hiring. But this time around I feel like I have been sucked through a black hole and landed on a parallel universe where recruiters don’t exist. When my clients had hiring needs, they did what ever they could to avoid paying fees. Willy Loman was beginning to seem like a success to me.

Although it has taken some time for me to realize change is necessary, I have way too many bills, too many kids, and too much pride to wallow in despair. I can’t wait for a stimulus package; I need to be the lightening rod. Hence the reason, I decided to change up.

In the book “Who Moved The Cheese”, if you don’t keep exploring new paths for success, you will never realize your goals. As a metaphor for personal and professional growth, if you stay put your cheese will run out or get moldy. I still haven’t found my cheese but I am finding some morsels that are keeping me going. To complement my experience in recruiting, I became certified as a Coach Practitioner and have started to focus on working with college students and professionals on career transition strategies. Earlier in the year I did some work with a start up for a biotech related Internet TV site. Most recently I decided to join Elaine and help her develop this exciting website, Srmeetup.com. All still doesn't keep me from auditioning for “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” (I failed the test). Oh, I also played mega millions- won $2 last week - You Just never Know. . .

Although I am a baby in the Baby Boomer club, it’s never too late to evolve and change.
Whether you are 48 or 68, sitting idle won’t get you anywhere. In my recruiting business, it’s imperative that you dial the phone (is dial the correct word these days?) in order to reach potential candidates or clients. Without action you won’t get results. Ok, I didn’t get on the game show or win the lottery, but I have engaged myself in other activities to complement my core business. I believe it will pay off. I have seen an up tick in business in the past month, I am hopeful it will continue to grow as the year goes on. I have been way too successful over the past 20 plus years to let one bad year define me.

Over the next several months, I hope to blog about topics that are impactful for the membership of this site. If there are topics you would like me to cover please email me. I also would be happy to answer questions on career strategy, transition or goals.

Although my specialty area is career advice and recruiting focused, I do have some expertise in parenting (4 kids ranging from 23 to 8), cooking (used to be in the restaurant business and my wife doesn’t enjoy it), dogs (I have a puggle that is cute and refuses to listen) and most sports (I play and watch).

Jon Mufson is the owner of Mufson Associates, a boutique executive search firm based in Closter NJ, specializing in the pharmaceutical industry. For the past 23 years, Jon has focused in pharmaceutical marketing and communications, strategically guiding and placing executives nationally. Jon is also a Certified Coach Practitioner, focusing on career transition strategies for college students and professionals. Jon serves as a board member for New Jersey Staffing Association. Jon graduated with a BS in Broadcasting and Film from Boston University never getting a chance to release his film, Fred Flintstone playing Vince Van Gogh in chess. A father of four, married, puggle owner, Jon enjoys escaping to the Jersey Shore for sun worshipping and libations.
Please feel free to contact Jon at 201-297-7557 or at jon@mufson.com
Linkedin: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jonmufson

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Jon is amazing! He brings experience, insight and coaching skills to our community. It's like having our own educational/recruitment guru straight from the "front lines". Although we are not nearly at war, it may feel that way for some of us - tough times. Jon is here to help redirect , retool, retrain and reenforce our existing skills. Whether you've been down-sized, forced to come out of retirement because of a dwindling portfolio or simply want to stay active, Jon can help! And the best part is that Jon Takes Questions!! Anything specific just email Jon and remember, we can't solve all you concerns but we can figure it out together as part of the SrMeetUp! community.

In Friendship

Elaine

EVERYBODY'S DOING IT!

2009-10-08T11:50:00.005-04:00

Everyone Is Doing It!

When you wake in the morning – you may do it – even before your first cup of coffee.
On the way to work or doing your errands – you may be doing this.
Most definitely during your coffee or lunch dates – you’re doing this.
Wouldn’t it be nice if “THIS” was what you are thinking? But it isn’t – although you can always find time for “That”!

I’m talking about Networking - the current phenomenon that makes socializing and engaging a huge necessity particularly in today’s economy. I’ve been known to go from Starbucks to Starbucks networking for SrMeetUp!, meeting interesting people, sharing ideas and, the coffee ,(can’t forget the coffee-lots and lots of coffee).

I wasn’t sure if I shouldn’t title this article - BEWARE – NETWORKERS ON THE PROWL. Networking, a good thing? Yes, but you need to discriminate, you need to weed out the self promoter(s), you need to stay confident in who you are and your vision and not be swayed by a sales pitch. Remember these people are strangers that come to you when you need them the most and we tend to believe what we want to believe. But there are many pitfalls that come with gathering a large number of new network buddies. You run the risk of losing focus and simply sharing nice stories with nice people but not being very productive. Reminds me a lot of the proverbial paper pusher- busy busy busy but very little accomplished. . . . You also run the risk of networking scams - those new associates that have figured out how to make a business of your vulnerability and promise you the sun, moon and stars. “For a monthly fee of $$$$$, I can make you a star” (a bit dramatic, but you get the point). The 21st century's own version of the stereotypical “used car salesman”.

So some of you might have figured out what I've been doing these last few weeks - I've been networking. I've been researching, evaluating and questioning to provide an amazing community for SrmeetUp! members. We're getting there. . .

Just remember – If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it probably is a duck. And, oh yes, don’t forget to enjoy the coffee.

In Friendship

Elaine

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY - WOODSTOCK!

2009-08-20T15:43:00.009-04:00

HAPPY 40th Woodstock!

I cannot believe it has been 40 years since Woodstock -40 years of living a life not quite what we rallied and gathered together for – 40 years of transitioning from our reaffirmation of a non-establishment lifestyle to a somewhat traditional existence. All I can say to that is THANK GOODNESS WE FINALLY GOT IT!

Sometimes (whom am I kidding) most of the time, when I look into the mirror I don’t recognize the person staring back at me. Sometimes I don’t look so worn but that is also the time for another glass of wine (or whine) :) But most of the time I am truly happy with who I’ve become, my family, career choices and friendships. But, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I do miss the excitement of anticipation – of feeling that you can do anything, act however, and to hell with the establishment (which I am now a thriving member). And just think you could actually lie on the grass and get up without any help. Maybe that part is the same but for different reasons. Yes, I miss Woodstock.

But, believe it or not, I think I am at a better place. I know who I am – I have accomplishments I never dreamed of – family and friends I love and respect but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I do miss the excitement. Which leads me into what SrMeetUp! is doing to help rekindle your passions, whether on the grass or not. SrMeetUp! is putting together the best life/career coaches, career transition teams, resume writers, volunteer organizations and the like to get the feeling of anticipation flowing yet again.
Stay tuned for exciting, challenging and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the excitement of anticipation.

In Friendship

Elaine

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Yes, It Gets Easier

2009-08-12T12:09:00.011-04:00

I met Judy Brauner after my husband, Bob, suddenly passed away. I never thought I would ever need a “shrink’s” counsel, let alone have to deal with bereavement. Although Judy’s article may be difficult and sad to read, it is a part of life and, I, for one, found her support immeasurably, albeit surprisingly, helpful. As you may be able to see, I was not a willing member of this group. I was angry, argumentative and thought those around me who “shared” were lame. Bob and I didn’t even know these people – why would I possibly want to share my most traumatic experience with this collection of depressed strangers? I goaded Judy, but she, thank goodness, is thick-skinned and just allowed me to vent. Then, she moved on to the next group member.

What Judy doesn’t say is that, despite how much I didn’t want this process to succeed, unconsciously, of course, I did meet my two very best friends, Renee and Gilda. I can’t imagine getting to this point without them. We made certain promises that we were not going to martyr our husbands but to love and remember them as they were, including the annoyances, frustrations and, most especially, their humor. Many, many evenings we’d sit with a bottle of wine in a restaurant or at our homes and laugh until tears came. How wonderful to be able to laugh with people who truly understand.

Today, while I still miss Bob and all the things I want to share with him, especially our new grandson and, don’t forget, SrMeetUp!, I am and will remain forever grateful to Judy, who did everything short of chaining me to my seat, in order to keep me a part of this remarkable program.

Judy is modest, but I’ll add that I’m not sure if the program was simply effective by its very own nature or if it was because Judy, as facilitator, made it especially wonderful – my bet's on Judy.

-Elaine

Be it a long expected, grueling and painful road of pain and illness shared with a beloved spouse, or an accident, suicide or sudden death of any kind, the separation by death from a beloved spouse puts one into an unexplored and frightening landscape. The finality of knowing you will never again be in the physical presence of one with whom you shared trust, intimacy, love, anger, children, and all of their trials, turmoil, triumphs and milestones is overwhelming. Not only is one losing so very much of the way they identify themselves in this world, they are losing a partnership which gave them a sense of importance, of having that special relationship where one matters most.

So...... people ask me, "how do I go on from here? Where do I begin? Why should I care? My life will never be the same. That is where I first met our Elaine, a bright lovely high functioning gal to whom I suggested the possibility of Bereavement Group. I told her that the beginning is rough, but, if you can stick it out for the first two very difficult sessions, what one is able to find, if open to the possibility of it, is connection with people who understand, as no one who has not been down this painful road ever can, exactly what you are going through. Also, who has the best advice of who to call when your furnace breaks down in the middle of the night, who to help with the overwhelming amount of paperwork that arises after an event like death occurs? The compatriots in this group will be there for you in a way that often friends find tiring after awhile. Bonds and friendships are formed within this group, (one which no one would ever choose to join) that is supportive and long lasting. The sense that you too, although in the midst of grief, can be of help to others just by being there and sharing your story, is very empowering.

When the death of a spouse occurs and the sorrow is great and overwhelming, it is a comfort to know that you have a place to vent your sorrows and never feel that you have said the same thing again and again and that people will tire of listening. You are, that one time a week, when the group meets, at last in a safe environment where you are burdening no one with your sorrows. Group members are only open and willing to give all the attention and support needed and know that they will receive the same in return from you. People report that week-ends are so very hard, yet here you have a list of phone numbers to call to spend a Saturday night with or grab a cup of coffee and not be alone and also not feel that you are a third wheel to your married friends who might warmly include you for dinner.

Death of a spouse is, without a doubt, one of the most difficult adjustments in life that we humans, under ordinary circumstances, will ever have to make. How does one reconfigure one’s life? How does one move forward without feeling that we are being disloyal? A bereavement group offers a perspective on dealing with the unthinkable that very few other venues offer.

Sharing memories, beautiful, wonderful ones, enrich us and keep us connected to those who enriched our lives by sharing themselves with us. They will remain forever even though the actual past itself cannot. One’s life with our spouse helps define who and what we were. Treasuring those memories and being able to share those helps us establish new relationships and continue living our life in strong and meaningful ways.

People know they are ready to move on when the intense pain is diminished and one looks forward to the future with a renewed and enthusiastic desire to live life joyfully in a new chapter with new friends, new hopes and new plans for the future.

-Judy Brauner

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Judy was born and raised in New Jersey. She graduated from Emerson College with a major in Speech Pathology and Audiology. Judy received a Masters in that field from Columbia University. After working for many years in that field she found that she was far more interested in the family dynamics of those who stuttered or suffered strokes and how their afflictions affected them and those around them. Judy then decided to go back to school and get a Masters of Social Work with a specialty in psychotherapy from NYU. Judy trained at Cornell and then worked as a therapist there, treating individuals for depression and anxiety. Judy trained as a family therapist and worked for HIP of New Jersey during the nineties, and did extensive work with both families and individuals. Judy established a successful general private practice in the early nineties which is still located in Fort Lee, NJ, where she works with individuals, couples and families. Judy has also been working at the JCC for eight years and is successfully running both bereavement groups and groups for people dealing with the issues of separation and divorce.

OLD DAWG....NEW TRICKS - Success!

2009-08-06T09:56:00.010-04:00

SUCCESS. . . WERE THERE ANY DOUBTS?

SrMeetUp! is delighted to applaud Stuart Aion on his successful entry into the competitive and challenging field of "acting". . . . and that just isn't our opinion. Check out the reviews written by Nicole Higgins for Midtown International Theatre Festival.

Boomers take note - Find your passion - Put doubts aside - And GO FOR IT!

Stuart -- fulfilling a life's ambition is amazing in itself, but enjoying the praise of others while doing it is the icing on the cake. (carrot cake - my personal preference). - Elaine

CONGRATULATIONS FROM ELAINE AND DOUGLAS AND YOUR FRIENDS AT SRMEETUP!

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Midtown International Theatre Festival
-reviewed by Nicole Higgins
Jul 25, 2009
Christmas Guest, by James O'Connor, directed by Leigh Hile, takes us to a Christmas Party doomed by cheerful denial, drunken revelations, and the return of an unwelcome visitor. In one of the opening scenes Carmen (Jessica Rendon) tells her boyfriend, Michael (Rick Cekovsky), "It's going to be the best Christmas ever." For those of you unfamiliar, this is (I believe) a reference to Ordinary People. It's a movie (maybe THE movie) about a dysfunctional family unraveling over the holidays. It's also a signal to prepare to be unsettled. What follows is perhaps a very accurate depiction of what would happen if your nemesis, your one fear, THE person in the world about whom you are the most ambivalent, shows up on your doorstep on Christmas Eve.

The play takes place in Michael's apartment. A nervous perfectionist, somewhat proud of his domain, we see him alone on stage whistling as he puts the finishing touches on his tree. We learn as he practices his delivery (mimed) that he intends to propose on bended knee this very evening. Everything is going just swell. Mrs. McCaffrey ( winningly performed by Kelly Taylor), a cheerful older neighbor who is perhaps in the early stages of Alzheimer's, is invited to what would have been a very intimate family gathering, including upstairs neighbor and sister to Michael, Faith (Anna Winthrop).

Cue disaster. Have you been unable to explain your bad behavior? Have you ever behaved badly in front of the one person you most want to impress? Have you ever had your power suddenly subverted in your own home, surrounded by people who just don't or won't understand the situation from your point of view? Well, poor Michael is in just such a pickle. His Kryptonite arrives at his door, and without a beat is carelessly invited in by his girlfriend. What follows is a nightmare of tension as Thomas, the guest (Stuart Aion—compelling in a tough role), delivers racial epithet after racial epithet, at first reminding me of the harmless Archie Bunker, but then with repetition becoming more and more disconcerting. Heightening the effect was the audience's easy laughter at his statements, probably because of the skill of the delivery, but it left me hoping that the laughter I heard left others uncomfortable too.

Tension careens to a drunken dinner, at which Mrs. McCaffrey's cheerfulness is revealed as massive denial, Carmen the caretaker (the character is a nurse) deals out pop psychology with the delicacy of a sledgehammer, and the siblings Michael and Faith fall back into the roles they've played since birth of anxious control and passivity. Finally the evening ends as abruptly and tragically as it began with hope and cheer.

The aftermath of the night, some three days later in the timeline of the play, left me with a question. Is the decision Michael and Carmen come to born of eye-opened hope, or a tangled mess of desperate willing blindness?

Author: James V. O'ConnorDirector: Leigh Hile
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Sex After 50: Fire Sale or Barn Burner?

2009-08-03T14:47:00.004-04:00

Happy End of Summer - N O T! I can't think of anything better to make you smile on a rainy day (or just about any day you simply want to smile) than hearing from our Boomer Extraordinaire

and hearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs Stuart.

OLD DAWG...NEW TRICKS
-by Stu Aion
. . . and the wagging "tale" continues...

Sex After 50: Fire Sale or Barn Burner?

Sex is such a "hot" topic and one I could ponder on ad nauseum. When my son at 13 asked me "Do I think about girls all the time?" and I answered "every minute" and he said "oh good...I thought it was just me", I realized what a driving force sex is: The need for, the lack of, the variety of, the fantasy of, the good, the bad...and unfortunately sometimes the ugly. I can't speak for the women of the world but having grown up with sisters and enjoyed the friendship, camaraderie and closeness of many women, I have come to realize that sex is just as vital to them. The difference being: men are more than happy to discuss it with anyone at anytime.

The constant, as I see it, is that sex is really all about the mental (mind) and the physical (body) will follow! When you are in your 20s, 30s, and 40s...it has more to do with the body...it has a mind of its own. Snow White used to give me erotic dreams...and what the hell was she doing with all those dwarfs (and why do you think Happy is so darn happy). When you get older, the mental plays a much bigger part. You need to have that cerebral spark to light an ember in your member.

Consider the fact that older woman still have needs but less need to play head games; PLEASURE is the endgame. Most of the games have been won, lost or tied (that costs extra) years before. Younger men tend to perform like it's a race without taking the time to enjoy the countryside. Although the road is more traveled at an older age...the scenery can truly be beautiful, appreciated and cultivated...because the ground is more seasoned and thankfully less fertile. ;-)

I understand that performance anxiety can rear its ugly head (or not…ha) at any age but when you are older you have physiological issues to deal with on top of the mental. There are performance enhancers and ED medication available to provide you with a safety net; and that doesn't ake you a bad person. Peace of mind is a terrific turn on and once you take the fear factor away you can just go on “cruise control”. With or without “enhancers”, relaxation and the joy of being invited to the party (BYOB) is enough to start the party.

Let me leave with a few comforting thoughts…

BOOMERS can still “BOOM BOOM POW”

What you used to do all night…doesn’t necessarily have to take you all night to do…but what’s the hurry? ;-)

Find someone that you are truly comfortable with and just enjoy every minute…there is no race…no fire (only from within)…and certainly no time limit.

Sex is still a gift and the unwrapping is in many cases…the best part.

…and for those of you who had erector sets as a child: erect it and they will “come”.

Stu Dawg
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Commentary:

Stu: very few things leave me at a loss for words, or better yet, makes me blush. It's a good thing my kids are too young to subscribe. They have no idea . . . silly kids. Without giving too much of me away I will simply say - hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... life is good.

--Elaine.

. . . And The Benefits Are? Long Term Care

2009-08-03T09:17:00.002-04:00

. . . and the benefits are?

Neil, a friend and long term client and I were engaged in a conversation the other day and Long Term Care coverage came up. We discussed several different aspects of the coverage and it surprises me how differently this coverage is understood by people. Concerns can be driven by personal experiences with people who have suffered chronic illness over a long period, by others who have incurred significant costs due to an illness or accident and there are those who have become care givers.

Neil seemed to be going in a different direction. He indicated that he as a person of “means” did not need this insurance protection. I thought about it and then said; Long Term Care Insurance could be considered an estate planning device. Neil wanted to know how estate planning became connected to Long Term Care Insurance.

I suggested that one important concept of estate planning was being able to leave something to those important to you. If you had to spend $100,000.00 or more a year on long term care expenses, those dollars would not be there for loved ones. The premium cost of the coverage each year is a reasonable way to protect your assets from being used or exhausted before they reach those most important to you. If you knew that all or most of your long term care expenses would be covered by insurance, then you could be comfortable knowing you had protected your assets from the devastating costs of a long term illness. Expenses that really are not covered by any other insurance or government program in any meaningful way are covered by Long Term Care Insurance.

There are choices with Long Term Care policies. You can select how much expense to cover per day and for how long and what kind of inflation protection you want. Neil could see the choices and recognized the protection it afforded his assets. Neil, there is more to know, but this was a good sample.

Herb

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Herb is associated with Summit Financial Resources, Inc., 4 Campus Drive, 2nd floor
Parsippany, NJ 07054 - Tel: 973-285-3600 direct line: 973-285-3648
hmillman@sfr1.com. He specializes in Personal Insurance Counseling, Financial Planning and Portfolio Management.

Securities and Investment Advisory Services offered through Summit Equities, Inc., member FINRA/SIPC."

Herb began his career in the Life and Health Insurance Industry; became engaged in the Retirement Planning area in the mid 70’s and in Equity Investing, Real Estate Development and Financial Planning with Personal Economics, Inc. as Vice President 1976-86. President of AMG Financial Services 1986-91. Summit Financial Resources, Inc. 1991 – Present.

He and his wife Janet have four children and five grandchildren. His personal interests extend to running, skiing, photography and wine.

Just Back From "THERE"

2009-07-23T01:26:00.004-04:00

--"Only by understanding how I arrived, will I understand where I will next go."

What A Hectic Couple of Weeks !

We’ve all been there – Exhausting! The mystery is that we have no idea how we got to there, what the forces were to get us through it or why we are “spent”... phewwwwwwwwwwww. Obviously, it has to be the kids. No, not necessarily. [By the way, where in the hell is “there,” and why does it always sound so ominous?]

Although I’ve always been a person who has prided herself on “figuring it out” (whatever "it" may be), I had this hackneyed concept that I could find and/or develop the good in everyone - of being able to shape, to some extent, my environment and to maximize the productive potential and happiness of all of the people in my life. I really thought that with a positive attitude, I could change the world. I Was In Control – I Could Make It Better. And why not, I had the best of intentions. (Which reminds me of an Essie Pearl*: I hope I can get to heaven on good intentions... because sometimes they don’t turn out quite as planned – but I meant well).

I had never considered myself a true card-carrying spiritualist – that is until I started reading Lynn Patner’s columns in SrMeetUp!. One of the perks in my new life is that I get to develop friendships that I would otherwise never have made – what a void there would have been! To think of what I might have missed Lynn has now been adopted as my own favorite personal life coach and, believe me, this arrangement is truly amazing -- it works.

Now, when I get sucked into this whirlwind surrounding my life, I grab on to key words as a reminder to try to understand what I did to get here. Only by understanding how I arrived, will I understand where I will next go.

As Lynn would say, “you have to find your ponies”. Lynn is much better qualified to explain this, but it has brought me great comfort to realize that even though I present this illusion of seeming in control of all of the things and people in my life, I really do not control, nor do I need to control, anything or anybody. This realization is profoundly and gloriously liberating. Remarkable ---I feel as if I had lost 20 lbs. That alone should be incentive enough to put all your worries in a balloon and blow it to the heavens (I paraphrase from Lynn)... and, incidentally; losing 20 lbs. ain’t such a bad by-product either.

I highly recommend using Lynn’s talents, wisdom, kindness and unending patience. Read about her, comment and question her articles and start losing weight. Guaranteed by the end of the summer you will fit into that Speedo.

In Friendship,

Elaine

*NOTE: The oft-used term [compound noun, singular] "Essie Pearl" is used to describe the special wisdom which is often imparted by Ms. Elaine Ingis to other persons in conversation, or in her writings. These are not merely "old saws", folk sayings, aphorisms, platitudes or bromides -- oh, no...not at all -- these are far different and so much more valuable --- Each Essie Pearl is a precious glimpse into the personal philosophy and universe of wisdom acquired by Ms. Ingis through the course of her life's many experiences. The fortunate, blessed and honored recipient of an "Essie Pearl"... the lucky listener, the blessed blogreader...will be transformed...forever changed through the revelations conveyed unto him or her. The term "Minnie Pearl" is not, in any way, related to the term "Essie Pearl".

HANDY HOME MAINTENANCE TIPS - CHILDPROOFING!

2009-07-13T15:23:00.005-04:00

SO...YOUR GRANDCHILD’S COMING TO VISIT? GREAT!

IS YOUR HOME CHILDPROOF?

So, your daughter-in-law just called and said she’s (finally!) bringing over your 2 year old grandson for the afternoon. You’re going to enjoy having him in your home, feeding him, playing with him. But what’s your daughter-in-law going to say about those open electrical outlets, or that ungated stairwell to the basement? And of course you don’t want him to get hurt while he’s there. It’s time to childproof!

If it’s been a while since you had young children in your home, you’ll need a refresher course in what to look out for. Back when we had our kids, childproofing was minimal, if it existed at all. Things are very different today and our children will do a thorough inspection to ensure our homes are safe for our grandchildren. Here are the basics:

Install covers on all electrical outlets.

Remove all cleaning supplies, medicines and poisonous chemicals from lower cabinets and lock them away. All medications should be in childproof containers.

Install locks on all cabinets. Remove all breakable knick knacks out of reach. Better yet, put them away in a closet. Also remove all small, swallowable items.

Install gates at the head of all stairwells and guards on the windows that open. If your furniture has sharp edges or corners, install soft furniture guards. Beware of unsecured furniture such as tall shelves that can be pulled down if not bolted to the wall.

Make sure the pulls, strings and cords on window treatments and appliances are tied out of reach.

If your grandchild will be staying with you for an extended period, reset the hot water temperature on your hot water heater to between 120 and 130 degrees farenheit to prevent scalding. Make sure smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors are operable.

Don’t carry hot liquids or foods around your grandchild. When cooking, keep the pot handles turned in over the stove. Keep your grandchild away from all sources of heat such as stoves, heaters, irons, curling irons and other appliances which might cause burns.

Carpets and rugs should have a nonskid backing or be nailed in place.

Keep the doors closed to the bathrooms and to any unchildproofed rooms. Doorknob covers will make it harder for a child to open doors.

Keep your grandchild away from drowning hazards such as pools and lakes but also pails, toilets and other containers of water. Make sure gates to your pool are locked.

Any dangerous animals should be locked away from your grandchild.

This may be obvious but make sure that any gun (if you happen to own one) is stored unloaded and locked away in a closet.

Keep handy local emergency numbers such as fire, police, ambulance and poison control.

Childproofing supplies are readily available at your local hardware store and at large toy stores,
such as ToysR'Us.

Ok, so now you’ve gone through the list and think you’re done. Think again! The best way to determine if your home is sufficiently childproofed is to get down on the floor and crawl around. No, I’m not kidding. Check things out from a small child’s perspective. You’ll be surprised what you find. There’s a quarter under the couch…a petrified raisin behind the curtain. All potential choking hazards.

Now you can enjoy your visit from your grandchild! (and the smile on your daughter-in-law’s face!).

-- Rubi Fingeret

Editor's Note: Rubi Fingeret is a founder and the CEO of Pro Home Manager, LLC, the creator of Pro Home Manager Personal Edition™, a comprehensive software solution for home maintenance and home inventory organization. Before founding Pro Home Manager, Rubi was a partner in the corporate and securities law practice of Orrick Herrington & Sutcliffe, LLP. For handy home maintenance tips and more information, visit Rubi's professional site at www.ProHomeManager.com -- Elaine

Editor's Second Note: As a new, first time grandmother myself, I shared this information with my son-in-law (whose smiling face is even more important than my daughters) and he was so excited that SrMeetUp! was addressing this he even took notes. My soon to be one year old grandson, Bradley, was all over the house and I was exhausted when he went home, missed him but was phewwwww, tired chasing. I now have babyproofed my home and can thoroughly enjoy the roll of a doting grandmother. Rubi - right on! Can't wait to hear other suggestions for both home maintenance and management. --Elaine

WHY WE DON'T LEARN TOO EASILY...AND CONTINUE TO DO DUMB THINGS.

2009-07-10T16:42:00.003-04:00

Dear Friends:

We Baby Boomers all consider ourselves adults -- a tad immature, perhaps (part of our irrepressible charm), but rational adults nonetheless.

In theory, we should constantly be learning from our experiences, so as not to repeat the same mistakes time and time again, but we don't truly learn from our experiences if we don't believe that they are valid within our own subjective realities. Simply put, we will resist learning and changing if we remain hopeful that what we have experienced was an aberration, and not a pattern. Many times we "refuse to believe" something that we hear about someone whom we thought that we knew, or about institutions in which we have placed trust, or about fundamental hard-wired, early-learned beliefs which we hold dear because they help us to define ourselves and our world. Most importantly, they help us to define exactly where we fit in the world.

Examples abound of this very Human system of selective learning every time that we: find a new love after a heartbreak; trust someone new after we had sworn never to trust again; are disillusioned afresh after having witnessed the same behavior by someone repeatedly; we perform useless rituals because we fear what might happen to us if we were to stop.

My favorite examples of genuinely irrational behavior usually revolve around money- and love-related objects, where we are so obsessed with "having a miraculous exception occur" that we disregard all that we have experienced in the past and behave downright stupidly. The classic: Sucking up to rich or influencial people from or through whom we hope to gain something very significant...our "big break!" How about these:

May I hold the door for you, Mr. Trump, sir?

May I pick up the tab for lunch (when I don't even have cab fare home), Oprah?

May I help you conceal a large-scale unconstitutional interrogation program from Congress, Mr. Cheney?

Why Paris Hilton! How do you ever think of all of those witty comments?

O.J.! I can't believe that the police haven't continued searching for Nichole's killer!

Dr. Phil? When are you finally going to get around to writing a book on hairstyling? Your diet book nearly saved my life! Oh...by the way...can my family live in your suit for the night? We were just thrown out of our condominium.

Warren Buffett? You are amazing. I don't know how many times I've listened to "Margheritaville." (Oops.)

We also get into the habit of walking on eggshells, where we are so cloying and so accommodating that anyone within hearing distance is liable to retch. Other people watching this type of spectacle are a bit more subtle -- they merely roll their eyes and shake their heads from side to side. We are so afraid to offend them or ask anything from them that we act like Hoke in Driving Miss Daisy.

Following is a recent post for you to read and comment on:

WALKING ON EGGSHELLS We all do it. It never works. Please read my article in The National Networker at http://htxt.it/fuaW and comment. Thanks.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

p.s. A car just passed me bearing a bumper sticker which said "Expect Miracles!" Within seconds, a large bird (most likely a seagull) crapped on my windshield. Someone else would have cursed, but I knew it was a sign of great things yet to come.

p.p.s. Have you been following us on Twitter? Well, why not, Bucko? It's free, and occasionally funny. Go to http://twitter.com/SrMeetUp and be a part of our Twitter Community, too.

p.p.p.s. Am I the only one in this place who is dying for an eggcream?At this hour I'll be lucky to get a Slurpee.