SrMeetUp!

A STIMULUS PACKAGE YOU CAN CALL YOUR OWN

2009-10-22T15:53:00.004-04:00

Create Your Own Stimulus Package

These past 14 months have been an extremely tough period for most of us. As an executive recruiter in the pharmaceutical industry for the past 23 years, I have experienced some short stinted blips of recession effects on hiring. But this time around I feel like I have been sucked through a black hole and landed on a parallel universe where recruiters don’t exist. When my clients had hiring needs, they did what ever they could to avoid paying fees. Willy Loman was beginning to seem like a success to me.

Although it has taken some time for me to realize change is necessary, I have way too many bills, too many kids, and too much pride to wallow in despair. I can’t wait for a stimulus package; I need to be the lightening rod. Hence the reason, I decided to change up.

In the book “Who Moved The Cheese”, if you don’t keep exploring new paths for success, you will never realize your goals. As a metaphor for personal and professional growth, if you stay put your cheese will run out or get moldy. I still haven’t found my cheese but I am finding some morsels that are keeping me going. To complement my experience in recruiting, I became certified as a Coach Practitioner and have started to focus on working with college students and professionals on career transition strategies. Earlier in the year I did some work with a start up for a biotech related Internet TV site. Most recently I decided to join Elaine and help her develop this exciting website, Srmeetup.com. All still doesn't keep me from auditioning for “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” (I failed the test). Oh, I also played mega millions- won $2 last week - You Just never Know. . .

Although I am a baby in the Baby Boomer club, it’s never too late to evolve and change.
Whether you are 48 or 68, sitting idle won’t get you anywhere. In my recruiting business, it’s imperative that you dial the phone (is dial the correct word these days?) in order to reach potential candidates or clients. Without action you won’t get results. Ok, I didn’t get on the game show or win the lottery, but I have engaged myself in other activities to complement my core business. I believe it will pay off. I have seen an up tick in business in the past month, I am hopeful it will continue to grow as the year goes on. I have been way too successful over the past 20 plus years to let one bad year define me.

Over the next several months, I hope to blog about topics that are impactful for the membership of this site. If there are topics you would like me to cover please email me. I also would be happy to answer questions on career strategy, transition or goals.

Although my specialty area is career advice and recruiting focused, I do have some expertise in parenting (4 kids ranging from 23 to 8), cooking (used to be in the restaurant business and my wife doesn’t enjoy it), dogs (I have a puggle that is cute and refuses to listen) and most sports (I play and watch).

Jon Mufson is the owner of Mufson Associates, a boutique executive search firm based in Closter NJ, specializing in the pharmaceutical industry. For the past 23 years, Jon has focused in pharmaceutical marketing and communications, strategically guiding and placing executives nationally. Jon is also a Certified Coach Practitioner, focusing on career transition strategies for college students and professionals. Jon serves as a board member for New Jersey Staffing Association. Jon graduated with a BS in Broadcasting and Film from Boston University never getting a chance to release his film, Fred Flintstone playing Vince Van Gogh in chess. A father of four, married, puggle owner, Jon enjoys escaping to the Jersey Shore for sun worshipping and libations.
Please feel free to contact Jon at 201-297-7557 or at jon@mufson.com
Linkedin: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jonmufson

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Jon is amazing! He brings experience, insight and coaching skills to our community. It's like having our own educational/recruitment guru straight from the "front lines". Although we are not nearly at war, it may feel that way for some of us - tough times. Jon is here to help redirect , retool, retrain and reenforce our existing skills. Whether you've been down-sized, forced to come out of retirement because of a dwindling portfolio or simply want to stay active, Jon can help! And the best part is that Jon Takes Questions!! Anything specific just email Jon and remember, we can't solve all you concerns but we can figure it out together as part of the SrMeetUp! community.

In Friendship

Elaine

EVERYBODY'S DOING IT!

2009-10-08T11:50:00.005-04:00

Everyone Is Doing It!

When you wake in the morning – you may do it – even before your first cup of coffee.
On the way to work or doing your errands – you may be doing this.
Most definitely during your coffee or lunch dates – you’re doing this.
Wouldn’t it be nice if “THIS” was what you are thinking? But it isn’t – although you can always find time for “That”!

I’m talking about Networking - the current phenomenon that makes socializing and engaging a huge necessity particularly in today’s economy. I’ve been known to go from Starbucks to Starbucks networking for SrMeetUp!, meeting interesting people, sharing ideas and, the coffee ,(can’t forget the coffee-lots and lots of coffee).

I wasn’t sure if I shouldn’t title this article - BEWARE – NETWORKERS ON THE PROWL. Networking, a good thing? Yes, but you need to discriminate, you need to weed out the self promoter(s), you need to stay confident in who you are and your vision and not be swayed by a sales pitch. Remember these people are strangers that come to you when you need them the most and we tend to believe what we want to believe. But there are many pitfalls that come with gathering a large number of new network buddies. You run the risk of losing focus and simply sharing nice stories with nice people but not being very productive. Reminds me a lot of the proverbial paper pusher- busy busy busy but very little accomplished. . . . You also run the risk of networking scams - those new associates that have figured out how to make a business of your vulnerability and promise you the sun, moon and stars. “For a monthly fee of $$$$$, I can make you a star” (a bit dramatic, but you get the point). The 21st century's own version of the stereotypical “used car salesman”.

So some of you might have figured out what I've been doing these last few weeks - I've been networking. I've been researching, evaluating and questioning to provide an amazing community for SrmeetUp! members. We're getting there. . .

Just remember – If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it probably is a duck. And, oh yes, don’t forget to enjoy the coffee.

In Friendship

Elaine

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY - WOODSTOCK!

2009-08-20T15:43:00.009-04:00

HAPPY 40th Woodstock!

I cannot believe it has been 40 years since Woodstock -40 years of living a life not quite what we rallied and gathered together for – 40 years of transitioning from our reaffirmation of a non-establishment lifestyle to a somewhat traditional existence. All I can say to that is THANK GOODNESS WE FINALLY GOT IT!

Sometimes (whom am I kidding) most of the time, when I look into the mirror I don’t recognize the person staring back at me. Sometimes I don’t look so worn but that is also the time for another glass of wine (or whine) :) But most of the time I am truly happy with who I’ve become, my family, career choices and friendships. But, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I do miss the excitement of anticipation – of feeling that you can do anything, act however, and to hell with the establishment (which I am now a thriving member). And just think you could actually lie on the grass and get up without any help. Maybe that part is the same but for different reasons. Yes, I miss Woodstock.

But, believe it or not, I think I am at a better place. I know who I am – I have accomplishments I never dreamed of – family and friends I love and respect but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I do miss the excitement. Which leads me into what SrMeetUp! is doing to help rekindle your passions, whether on the grass or not. SrMeetUp! is putting together the best life/career coaches, career transition teams, resume writers, volunteer organizations and the like to get the feeling of anticipation flowing yet again.
Stay tuned for exciting, challenging and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the excitement of anticipation.

In Friendship

Elaine

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Yes, It Gets Easier

2009-08-12T12:09:00.011-04:00

I met Judy Brauner after my husband, Bob, suddenly passed away. I never thought I would ever need a “shrink’s” counsel, let alone have to deal with bereavement. Although Judy’s article may be difficult and sad to read, it is a part of life and, I, for one, found her support immeasurably, albeit surprisingly, helpful. As you may be able to see, I was not a willing member of this group. I was angry, argumentative and thought those around me who “shared” were lame. Bob and I didn’t even know these people – why would I possibly want to share my most traumatic experience with this collection of depressed strangers? I goaded Judy, but she, thank goodness, is thick-skinned and just allowed me to vent. Then, she moved on to the next group member.

What Judy doesn’t say is that, despite how much I didn’t want this process to succeed, unconsciously, of course, I did meet my two very best friends, Renee and Gilda. I can’t imagine getting to this point without them. We made certain promises that we were not going to martyr our husbands but to love and remember them as they were, including the annoyances, frustrations and, most especially, their humor. Many, many evenings we’d sit with a bottle of wine in a restaurant or at our homes and laugh until tears came. How wonderful to be able to laugh with people who truly understand.

Today, while I still miss Bob and all the things I want to share with him, especially our new grandson and, don’t forget, SrMeetUp!, I am and will remain forever grateful to Judy, who did everything short of chaining me to my seat, in order to keep me a part of this remarkable program.

Judy is modest, but I’ll add that I’m not sure if the program was simply effective by its very own nature or if it was because Judy, as facilitator, made it especially wonderful – my bet's on Judy.

-Elaine

Be it a long expected, grueling and painful road of pain and illness shared with a beloved spouse, or an accident, suicide or sudden death of any kind, the separation by death from a beloved spouse puts one into an unexplored and frightening landscape. The finality of knowing you will never again be in the physical presence of one with whom you shared trust, intimacy, love, anger, children, and all of their trials, turmoil, triumphs and milestones is overwhelming. Not only is one losing so very much of the way they identify themselves in this world, they are losing a partnership which gave them a sense of importance, of having that special relationship where one matters most.

So...... people ask me, "how do I go on from here? Where do I begin? Why should I care? My life will never be the same. That is where I first met our Elaine, a bright lovely high functioning gal to whom I suggested the possibility of Bereavement Group. I told her that the beginning is rough, but, if you can stick it out for the first two very difficult sessions, what one is able to find, if open to the possibility of it, is connection with people who understand, as no one who has not been down this painful road ever can, exactly what you are going through. Also, who has the best advice of who to call when your furnace breaks down in the middle of the night, who to help with the overwhelming amount of paperwork that arises after an event like death occurs? The compatriots in this group will be there for you in a way that often friends find tiring after awhile. Bonds and friendships are formed within this group, (one which no one would ever choose to join) that is supportive and long lasting. The sense that you too, although in the midst of grief, can be of help to others just by being there and sharing your story, is very empowering.

When the death of a spouse occurs and the sorrow is great and overwhelming, it is a comfort to know that you have a place to vent your sorrows and never feel that you have said the same thing again and again and that people will tire of listening. You are, that one time a week, when the group meets, at last in a safe environment where you are burdening no one with your sorrows. Group members are only open and willing to give all the attention and support needed and know that they will receive the same in return from you. People report that week-ends are so very hard, yet here you have a list of phone numbers to call to spend a Saturday night with or grab a cup of coffee and not be alone and also not feel that you are a third wheel to your married friends who might warmly include you for dinner.

Death of a spouse is, without a doubt, one of the most difficult adjustments in life that we humans, under ordinary circumstances, will ever have to make. How does one reconfigure one’s life? How does one move forward without feeling that we are being disloyal? A bereavement group offers a perspective on dealing with the unthinkable that very few other venues offer.

Sharing memories, beautiful, wonderful ones, enrich us and keep us connected to those who enriched our lives by sharing themselves with us. They will remain forever even though the actual past itself cannot. One’s life with our spouse helps define who and what we were. Treasuring those memories and being able to share those helps us establish new relationships and continue living our life in strong and meaningful ways.

People know they are ready to move on when the intense pain is diminished and one looks forward to the future with a renewed and enthusiastic desire to live life joyfully in a new chapter with new friends, new hopes and new plans for the future.

-Judy Brauner

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Judy was born and raised in New Jersey. She graduated from Emerson College with a major in Speech Pathology and Audiology. Judy received a Masters in that field from Columbia University. After working for many years in that field she found that she was far more interested in the family dynamics of those who stuttered or suffered strokes and how their afflictions affected them and those around them. Judy then decided to go back to school and get a Masters of Social Work with a specialty in psychotherapy from NYU. Judy trained at Cornell and then worked as a therapist there, treating individuals for depression and anxiety. Judy trained as a family therapist and worked for HIP of New Jersey during the nineties, and did extensive work with both families and individuals. Judy established a successful general private practice in the early nineties which is still located in Fort Lee, NJ, where she works with individuals, couples and families. Judy has also been working at the JCC for eight years and is successfully running both bereavement groups and groups for people dealing with the issues of separation and divorce.

OLD DAWG....NEW TRICKS - Success!

2009-08-06T09:56:00.010-04:00

SUCCESS. . . WERE THERE ANY DOUBTS?

SrMeetUp! is delighted to applaud Stuart Aion on his successful entry into the competitive and challenging field of "acting". . . . and that just isn't our opinion. Check out the reviews written by Nicole Higgins for Midtown International Theatre Festival.

Boomers take note - Find your passion - Put doubts aside - And GO FOR IT!

Stuart -- fulfilling a life's ambition is amazing in itself, but enjoying the praise of others while doing it is the icing on the cake. (carrot cake - my personal preference). - Elaine

CONGRATULATIONS FROM ELAINE AND DOUGLAS AND YOUR FRIENDS AT SRMEETUP!

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Midtown International Theatre Festival
-reviewed by Nicole Higgins
Jul 25, 2009
Christmas Guest, by James O'Connor, directed by Leigh Hile, takes us to a Christmas Party doomed by cheerful denial, drunken revelations, and the return of an unwelcome visitor. In one of the opening scenes Carmen (Jessica Rendon) tells her boyfriend, Michael (Rick Cekovsky), "It's going to be the best Christmas ever." For those of you unfamiliar, this is (I believe) a reference to Ordinary People. It's a movie (maybe THE movie) about a dysfunctional family unraveling over the holidays. It's also a signal to prepare to be unsettled. What follows is perhaps a very accurate depiction of what would happen if your nemesis, your one fear, THE person in the world about whom you are the most ambivalent, shows up on your doorstep on Christmas Eve.

The play takes place in Michael's apartment. A nervous perfectionist, somewhat proud of his domain, we see him alone on stage whistling as he puts the finishing touches on his tree. We learn as he practices his delivery (mimed) that he intends to propose on bended knee this very evening. Everything is going just swell. Mrs. McCaffrey ( winningly performed by Kelly Taylor), a cheerful older neighbor who is perhaps in the early stages of Alzheimer's, is invited to what would have been a very intimate family gathering, including upstairs neighbor and sister to Michael, Faith (Anna Winthrop).

Cue disaster. Have you been unable to explain your bad behavior? Have you ever behaved badly in front of the one person you most want to impress? Have you ever had your power suddenly subverted in your own home, surrounded by people who just don't or won't understand the situation from your point of view? Well, poor Michael is in just such a pickle. His Kryptonite arrives at his door, and without a beat is carelessly invited in by his girlfriend. What follows is a nightmare of tension as Thomas, the guest (Stuart Aion—compelling in a tough role), delivers racial epithet after racial epithet, at first reminding me of the harmless Archie Bunker, but then with repetition becoming more and more disconcerting. Heightening the effect was the audience's easy laughter at his statements, probably because of the skill of the delivery, but it left me hoping that the laughter I heard left others uncomfortable too.

Tension careens to a drunken dinner, at which Mrs. McCaffrey's cheerfulness is revealed as massive denial, Carmen the caretaker (the character is a nurse) deals out pop psychology with the delicacy of a sledgehammer, and the siblings Michael and Faith fall back into the roles they've played since birth of anxious control and passivity. Finally the evening ends as abruptly and tragically as it began with hope and cheer.

The aftermath of the night, some three days later in the timeline of the play, left me with a question. Is the decision Michael and Carmen come to born of eye-opened hope, or a tangled mess of desperate willing blindness?

Author: James V. O'ConnorDirector: Leigh Hile
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Sex After 50: Fire Sale or Barn Burner?

2009-08-03T14:47:00.004-04:00

Happy End of Summer - N O T! I can't think of anything better to make you smile on a rainy day (or just about any day you simply want to smile) than hearing from our Boomer Extraordinaire

and hearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs Stuart.

OLD DAWG...NEW TRICKS
-by Stu Aion
. . . and the wagging "tale" continues...

Sex After 50: Fire Sale or Barn Burner?

Sex is such a "hot" topic and one I could ponder on ad nauseum. When my son at 13 asked me "Do I think about girls all the time?" and I answered "every minute" and he said "oh good...I thought it was just me", I realized what a driving force sex is: The need for, the lack of, the variety of, the fantasy of, the good, the bad...and unfortunately sometimes the ugly. I can't speak for the women of the world but having grown up with sisters and enjoyed the friendship, camaraderie and closeness of many women, I have come to realize that sex is just as vital to them. The difference being: men are more than happy to discuss it with anyone at anytime.

The constant, as I see it, is that sex is really all about the mental (mind) and the physical (body) will follow! When you are in your 20s, 30s, and 40s...it has more to do with the body...it has a mind of its own. Snow White used to give me erotic dreams...and what the hell was she doing with all those dwarfs (and why do you think Happy is so darn happy). When you get older, the mental plays a much bigger part. You need to have that cerebral spark to light an ember in your member.

Consider the fact that older woman still have needs but less need to play head games; PLEASURE is the endgame. Most of the games have been won, lost or tied (that costs extra) years before. Younger men tend to perform like it's a race without taking the time to enjoy the countryside. Although the road is more traveled at an older age...the scenery can truly be beautiful, appreciated and cultivated...because the ground is more seasoned and thankfully less fertile. ;-)

I understand that performance anxiety can rear its ugly head (or not…ha) at any age but when you are older you have physiological issues to deal with on top of the mental. There are performance enhancers and ED medication available to provide you with a safety net; and that doesn't ake you a bad person. Peace of mind is a terrific turn on and once you take the fear factor away you can just go on “cruise control”. With or without “enhancers”, relaxation and the joy of being invited to the party (BYOB) is enough to start the party.

Let me leave with a few comforting thoughts…

BOOMERS can still “BOOM BOOM POW”

What you used to do all night…doesn’t necessarily have to take you all night to do…but what’s the hurry? ;-)

Find someone that you are truly comfortable with and just enjoy every minute…there is no race…no fire (only from within)…and certainly no time limit.

Sex is still a gift and the unwrapping is in many cases…the best part.

…and for those of you who had erector sets as a child: erect it and they will “come”.

Stu Dawg
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Commentary:

Stu: very few things leave me at a loss for words, or better yet, makes me blush. It's a good thing my kids are too young to subscribe. They have no idea . . . silly kids. Without giving too much of me away I will simply say - hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... life is good.

--Elaine.

. . . And The Benefits Are? Long Term Care

2009-08-03T09:17:00.002-04:00

. . . and the benefits are?

Neil, a friend and long term client and I were engaged in a conversation the other day and Long Term Care coverage came up. We discussed several different aspects of the coverage and it surprises me how differently this coverage is understood by people. Concerns can be driven by personal experiences with people who have suffered chronic illness over a long period, by others who have incurred significant costs due to an illness or accident and there are those who have become care givers.

Neil seemed to be going in a different direction. He indicated that he as a person of “means” did not need this insurance protection. I thought about it and then said; Long Term Care Insurance could be considered an estate planning device. Neil wanted to know how estate planning became connected to Long Term Care Insurance.

I suggested that one important concept of estate planning was being able to leave something to those important to you. If you had to spend $100,000.00 or more a year on long term care expenses, those dollars would not be there for loved ones. The premium cost of the coverage each year is a reasonable way to protect your assets from being used or exhausted before they reach those most important to you. If you knew that all or most of your long term care expenses would be covered by insurance, then you could be comfortable knowing you had protected your assets from the devastating costs of a long term illness. Expenses that really are not covered by any other insurance or government program in any meaningful way are covered by Long Term Care Insurance.

There are choices with Long Term Care policies. You can select how much expense to cover per day and for how long and what kind of inflation protection you want. Neil could see the choices and recognized the protection it afforded his assets. Neil, there is more to know, but this was a good sample.

Herb

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Herb is associated with Summit Financial Resources, Inc., 4 Campus Drive, 2nd floor
Parsippany, NJ 07054 - Tel: 973-285-3600 direct line: 973-285-3648
hmillman@sfr1.com. He specializes in Personal Insurance Counseling, Financial Planning and Portfolio Management.

Securities and Investment Advisory Services offered through Summit Equities, Inc., member FINRA/SIPC."

Herb began his career in the Life and Health Insurance Industry; became engaged in the Retirement Planning area in the mid 70’s and in Equity Investing, Real Estate Development and Financial Planning with Personal Economics, Inc. as Vice President 1976-86. President of AMG Financial Services 1986-91. Summit Financial Resources, Inc. 1991 – Present.

He and his wife Janet have four children and five grandchildren. His personal interests extend to running, skiing, photography and wine.

Just Back From "THERE"

2009-07-23T01:26:00.004-04:00

--"Only by understanding how I arrived, will I understand where I will next go."

What A Hectic Couple of Weeks !

We’ve all been there – Exhausting! The mystery is that we have no idea how we got to there, what the forces were to get us through it or why we are “spent”... phewwwwwwwwwwww. Obviously, it has to be the kids. No, not necessarily. [By the way, where in the hell is “there,” and why does it always sound so ominous?]

Although I’ve always been a person who has prided herself on “figuring it out” (whatever "it" may be), I had this hackneyed concept that I could find and/or develop the good in everyone - of being able to shape, to some extent, my environment and to maximize the productive potential and happiness of all of the people in my life. I really thought that with a positive attitude, I could change the world. I Was In Control – I Could Make It Better. And why not, I had the best of intentions. (Which reminds me of an Essie Pearl*: I hope I can get to heaven on good intentions... because sometimes they don’t turn out quite as planned – but I meant well).

I had never considered myself a true card-carrying spiritualist – that is until I started reading Lynn Patner’s columns in SrMeetUp!. One of the perks in my new life is that I get to develop friendships that I would otherwise never have made – what a void there would have been! To think of what I might have missed Lynn has now been adopted as my own favorite personal life coach and, believe me, this arrangement is truly amazing -- it works.

Now, when I get sucked into this whirlwind surrounding my life, I grab on to key words as a reminder to try to understand what I did to get here. Only by understanding how I arrived, will I understand where I will next go.

As Lynn would say, “you have to find your ponies”. Lynn is much better qualified to explain this, but it has brought me great comfort to realize that even though I present this illusion of seeming in control of all of the things and people in my life, I really do not control, nor do I need to control, anything or anybody. This realization is profoundly and gloriously liberating. Remarkable ---I feel as if I had lost 20 lbs. That alone should be incentive enough to put all your worries in a balloon and blow it to the heavens (I paraphrase from Lynn)... and, incidentally; losing 20 lbs. ain’t such a bad by-product either.

I highly recommend using Lynn’s talents, wisdom, kindness and unending patience. Read about her, comment and question her articles and start losing weight. Guaranteed by the end of the summer you will fit into that Speedo.

In Friendship,

Elaine

*NOTE: The oft-used term [compound noun, singular] "Essie Pearl" is used to describe the special wisdom which is often imparted by Ms. Elaine Ingis to other persons in conversation, or in her writings. These are not merely "old saws", folk sayings, aphorisms, platitudes or bromides -- oh, no...not at all -- these are far different and so much more valuable --- Each Essie Pearl is a precious glimpse into the personal philosophy and universe of wisdom acquired by Ms. Ingis through the course of her life's many experiences. The fortunate, blessed and honored recipient of an "Essie Pearl"... the lucky listener, the blessed blogreader...will be transformed...forever changed through the revelations conveyed unto him or her. The term "Minnie Pearl" is not, in any way, related to the term "Essie Pearl".

HANDY HOME MAINTENANCE TIPS - CHILDPROOFING!

2009-07-13T15:23:00.005-04:00

SO...YOUR GRANDCHILD’S COMING TO VISIT? GREAT!

IS YOUR HOME CHILDPROOF?

So, your daughter-in-law just called and said she’s (finally!) bringing over your 2 year old grandson for the afternoon. You’re going to enjoy having him in your home, feeding him, playing with him. But what’s your daughter-in-law going to say about those open electrical outlets, or that ungated stairwell to the basement? And of course you don’t want him to get hurt while he’s there. It’s time to childproof!

If it’s been a while since you had young children in your home, you’ll need a refresher course in what to look out for. Back when we had our kids, childproofing was minimal, if it existed at all. Things are very different today and our children will do a thorough inspection to ensure our homes are safe for our grandchildren. Here are the basics:

Install covers on all electrical outlets.

Remove all cleaning supplies, medicines and poisonous chemicals from lower cabinets and lock them away. All medications should be in childproof containers.

Install locks on all cabinets. Remove all breakable knick knacks out of reach. Better yet, put them away in a closet. Also remove all small, swallowable items.

Install gates at the head of all stairwells and guards on the windows that open. If your furniture has sharp edges or corners, install soft furniture guards. Beware of unsecured furniture such as tall shelves that can be pulled down if not bolted to the wall.

Make sure the pulls, strings and cords on window treatments and appliances are tied out of reach.

If your grandchild will be staying with you for an extended period, reset the hot water temperature on your hot water heater to between 120 and 130 degrees farenheit to prevent scalding. Make sure smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors are operable.

Don’t carry hot liquids or foods around your grandchild. When cooking, keep the pot handles turned in over the stove. Keep your grandchild away from all sources of heat such as stoves, heaters, irons, curling irons and other appliances which might cause burns.

Carpets and rugs should have a nonskid backing or be nailed in place.

Keep the doors closed to the bathrooms and to any unchildproofed rooms. Doorknob covers will make it harder for a child to open doors.

Keep your grandchild away from drowning hazards such as pools and lakes but also pails, toilets and other containers of water. Make sure gates to your pool are locked.

Any dangerous animals should be locked away from your grandchild.

This may be obvious but make sure that any gun (if you happen to own one) is stored unloaded and locked away in a closet.

Keep handy local emergency numbers such as fire, police, ambulance and poison control.

Childproofing supplies are readily available at your local hardware store and at large toy stores,
such as ToysR'Us.

Ok, so now you’ve gone through the list and think you’re done. Think again! The best way to determine if your home is sufficiently childproofed is to get down on the floor and crawl around. No, I’m not kidding. Check things out from a small child’s perspective. You’ll be surprised what you find. There’s a quarter under the couch…a petrified raisin behind the curtain. All potential choking hazards.

Now you can enjoy your visit from your grandchild! (and the smile on your daughter-in-law’s face!).

-- Rubi Fingeret

Editor's Note: Rubi Fingeret is a founder and the CEO of Pro Home Manager, LLC, the creator of Pro Home Manager Personal Edition™, a comprehensive software solution for home maintenance and home inventory organization. Before founding Pro Home Manager, Rubi was a partner in the corporate and securities law practice of Orrick Herrington & Sutcliffe, LLP. For handy home maintenance tips and more information, visit Rubi's professional site at www.ProHomeManager.com -- Elaine

Editor's Second Note: As a new, first time grandmother myself, I shared this information with my son-in-law (whose smiling face is even more important than my daughters) and he was so excited that SrMeetUp! was addressing this he even took notes. My soon to be one year old grandson, Bradley, was all over the house and I was exhausted when he went home, missed him but was phewwwww, tired chasing. I now have babyproofed my home and can thoroughly enjoy the roll of a doting grandmother. Rubi - right on! Can't wait to hear other suggestions for both home maintenance and management. --Elaine

WHY WE DON'T LEARN TOO EASILY...AND CONTINUE TO DO DUMB THINGS.

2009-07-10T16:42:00.003-04:00

Dear Friends:

We Baby Boomers all consider ourselves adults -- a tad immature, perhaps (part of our irrepressible charm), but rational adults nonetheless.

In theory, we should constantly be learning from our experiences, so as not to repeat the same mistakes time and time again, but we don't truly learn from our experiences if we don't believe that they are valid within our own subjective realities. Simply put, we will resist learning and changing if we remain hopeful that what we have experienced was an aberration, and not a pattern. Many times we "refuse to believe" something that we hear about someone whom we thought that we knew, or about institutions in which we have placed trust, or about fundamental hard-wired, early-learned beliefs which we hold dear because they help us to define ourselves and our world. Most importantly, they help us to define exactly where we fit in the world.

Examples abound of this very Human system of selective learning every time that we: find a new love after a heartbreak; trust someone new after we had sworn never to trust again; are disillusioned afresh after having witnessed the same behavior by someone repeatedly; we perform useless rituals because we fear what might happen to us if we were to stop.

My favorite examples of genuinely irrational behavior usually revolve around money- and love-related objects, where we are so obsessed with "having a miraculous exception occur" that we disregard all that we have experienced in the past and behave downright stupidly. The classic: Sucking up to rich or influencial people from or through whom we hope to gain something very significant...our "big break!" How about these:

May I hold the door for you, Mr. Trump, sir?

May I pick up the tab for lunch (when I don't even have cab fare home), Oprah?

May I help you conceal a large-scale unconstitutional interrogation program from Congress, Mr. Cheney?

Why Paris Hilton! How do you ever think of all of those witty comments?

O.J.! I can't believe that the police haven't continued searching for Nichole's killer!

Dr. Phil? When are you finally going to get around to writing a book on hairstyling? Your diet book nearly saved my life! Oh...by the way...can my family live in your suit for the night? We were just thrown out of our condominium.

Warren Buffett? You are amazing. I don't know how many times I've listened to "Margheritaville." (Oops.)

We also get into the habit of walking on eggshells, where we are so cloying and so accommodating that anyone within hearing distance is liable to retch. Other people watching this type of spectacle are a bit more subtle -- they merely roll their eyes and shake their heads from side to side. We are so afraid to offend them or ask anything from them that we act like Hoke in Driving Miss Daisy.

Following is a recent post for you to read and comment on:

WALKING ON EGGSHELLS We all do it. It never works. Please read my article in The National Networker at http://htxt.it/fuaW and comment. Thanks.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

p.s. A car just passed me bearing a bumper sticker which said "Expect Miracles!" Within seconds, a large bird (most likely a seagull) crapped on my windshield. Someone else would have cursed, but I knew it was a sign of great things yet to come.

p.p.s. Have you been following us on Twitter? Well, why not, Bucko? It's free, and occasionally funny. Go to http://twitter.com/SrMeetUp and be a part of our Twitter Community, too.

p.p.p.s. Am I the only one in this place who is dying for an eggcream?At this hour I'll be lucky to get a Slurpee.

OLD DAWG... NEW TRICKS

2009-07-02T10:08:00.008-04:00

OLD DAWG... NEW TRICKS
- Wagging the "Tale"

It is possible to learn new tricks at any age. When I say new tricks...I'm not referring to "playmates", but rather reinventing yourself to enjoy the life you have been dealt.

My name is Stuart and I am an inactive member of AARP... OMG! I joined, and in the first year and received thousands of unsolicited mailings...not quite what I had in mind. I prefer invited guests over drop ins.

Are you over 50, 60, 70…are you a BOOMER?? Tired of doing the same thing year in and year out... silly question; most people are. Going "outside the box" tends to paralyze any "sane" person and hence...you keep doing what you are doing AND getting what you are getting. It’s time to go “insane.” SrmeetUp! is an excellent way to “rev up" your life.

REJOICE IN YOUR INDIVIDUALISM

I have been climbing up the corporate ladder for over 20 years and enjoyed every minute of it...NOT!!! For the 20 years preceeding that, I was an actor...ran nightclubs...was a boxer...a cook...and an all-around nice guy...and enjoyed every minute of it...YES!!!!

Supporting and raising a family required compromise and sacrifice (happy to do it)...what I didn't realize is that I had also relinquished my dreams, passions and zest for life; the daily grind and financial hardship can do that.

My children are older, my wife and I are wonderful friends but - separated. (alas...). The financial burden continues, but my need for zest, passion and a darned good time has reared its glorious head. I am embarking on a new life that has been dormant in me for decades...and I am THRILLED, EXHILARATED and downright giddy with fear and hope! GAME ON!!!

Hey, BOOMERS…what do you wanna do??? The world truly can be your oyster…steamed…stewed…chowdered…breaded…or just plain on the half shell. It isn’t always the result, but the act of attempting something that will give you a rush…remember it can be the chase…and not the capture. [Remember: Be careful what you wish for…].

DO SOMETHING….take a course…ask out an old flame…sky dive…watch a porn film (be IN a porn film…lol). The very act of trying something no matter how small can lead to bigger steps and open windows or doors you thought had been nailed shut. Repeat- the point is to DO SOMETHING. The mere action of moving in a new direction is creating life -- Your Own Life.

Only you can look inside your own mind and contemplate what is possible…what you have given up…what you have sacrificed for the “good of someone else”…WELL…WHAT ABOUT YOU???!!! You are your own creation. And, frankly…NOTHING is impossible…you simply have to try!

You are as worthy as anyone else…with your own time frame. Age has no place in your dreams…age is a number designated by society to indicate what you are capable of and when. It is completely arbitrary. Your age is how you feel and what you do. Your age is, effectively, your own decision! If you can dream it…you can do it!

Start right now...

I am not saying to shirk your responsibilities…I would NEVER let my family suffer because of my immediate needs…BUT…I count..... and I have a right to be happy right along with them. Happiness expands to fit all worlds.

Old dawgs CAN learn new tricks!!! ;-) This dawg is going to be an actor!!!

-- Stuart
####

I really want to applaud Stuart on his insight, enthusiasm and just plain love of life. Although Stuart makes it sound easy, we all know that it is sometimes difficult to separate our personal passions from our responsibilities. Stuart seems to have done just that. I am sure that I will not be the only one applauding Stuart -- but this time I may very well be applauding from the front seat of the Helen Hayes Theater. This "tale" has just begun wagging. - Elaine

*But wait -- there's more! (try to imagine the voice of Ron Popiel, hawking the now legendary Veg-O-Matic on a TV infomercial). We, the indomitable, unstoppable, intrepid, ever-curious (and extraordinarily nosy) pioneers of SrMeetUp! will be following Stuart as he lives his daring adventure of becoming an actor. STAY TUNED, BOOMERS. OLD DAWG... NEW TRICKS.

The tale is just beginning. We'll be dogging Stuart every step of the way.

REMEMBER ZIG ZIGLAR? Take This Quick Survey.

2009-07-01T08:24:00.004-04:00

Boomers --- Do you remember the classic teachings of Horatio Alger, Dr, Robert Schuller, Dale Carnegie? How about ZIG ZIGLAR? Now that we've all experienced life in a changing social and business culture, let's revisit the philosophies of these Human behaviorists and success phiosophers. -- Elaine Ingis and Douglas Castle

TNNW SURVEY #89

TomZiglar: Our Philosophy - "You can have everything in life you want, if you will help enough other people get what they want." - Zig Ziglar.

Douglas Castle's question: Do you believe this to be true today? If not, say so. If true, then under what conditions? How do you determine which people you should focus your efforts and talents on? Have people changed in terms of their willingness to reciprocate? Is society somehow different? Do we need a different strategy for succeeding in business and friendship. Many of us, myself included, grew up on Zig's teachings.

Are Tom and Zig Ziglar oversimplifying?

How would you re-state Zig Ziglar's Philosophy in these times?

Please submit your views to http://thenationalnetworkersurveys.blogspot.com/ In the subject line of your response (Click on https://ciof.wufoo.com/forms/your-response-to-a-tnnw-survey/ to submit your responses, now) , reference TNNW Survey #89.

Faithfully,

Elaine Ingis
Douglas Castle

P.S. Remember: Click on https://ciof.wufoo.com/forms/your-response-to-a-tnnw-survey/ to submit your responses, and reference TNNW Survey #89 in the "Subject" line of your responses.

P.P.S. Boomers have a richer, deeper, more sophisticated view of life. Our opinions are born of the wisdom that only life's experiences can provide. Let's share what we've learned.

THE NETWORK OF SECOND CHANCES

2009-06-26T16:50:00.001-04:00

THE NETWORK OF SECOND CHANCES.

Dear Friends:

The explosion in the popularity and use of social media has given us a great deal of irritation, but has also provided us with an incredible opportunity. Somewhere, sandwiched in between serious business networking and non-stop social gossiping is the world of reunions -- a world of second chances. A place in cyberspace where we get the amazing opportunity to find someone we've missed, and to say what we wish we could have said, had we then the gift of hindsight...and had we not then been consumed by the emotions of the moment, or by foolish pride or pettiness. It is a chance to set things right, to start anew, or to simply close out old, unsolved mysteries.

Re-connecting with these people from the past is amazingly therapeutic -- they will give you a firmer sense of your own identity, of your place in the lives of others, and in the Universe of the Human Experience. I posted the following on Facebook:

douglascastle http://twitlik.com/CousinStu. I reconnected with a long-lost cousin. You should, too. Life is short. http://twitlik.com/OK #TNNW. (amended url)

The NATIONAL NETWORKER and SrMeetUp! are both interested in your stories about reunions with family, friends, schoolmates, business associates...old loves. If you have a story to share about networking your way back to your childhood, or to your own true identity through the internet, please (please!) write to us. Simply write your story in the "Comments" Section under this article -- just click on the word "Comments." I will forward your stories to the appropriate individuals.

It is supremely ironic that a technological advance has been able to transport me back to a simpler time in my youth, and to get answers to so many questions. Given the chance, I hope that it may do the same for you. Networking can not only help you to connect with new people -- it can help you get reconnected with your inner self.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

http://aboutDouglasCastle.blogspot.com

A NOTE ABOUT HYPERLINKS:
In some of the short newsfeed postings (in particular, those from http://htxt.it/), the hyperlinks are not live. They are not dead -- no, they are merely sleeping. To awaken them, just copy them (Ctrl+C) and paste them (Ctrl+V) into your browser and press the "go" button...the sleeping link will immediately come to life and you'll be directed to the proper page so that you can read the referenced article or posting.

SIMPLY BEING FRANK - Getting The Most Out of Your Time and Your Life

2009-06-24T16:06:00.002-04:00

SIMPLY BEING FRANK -
Getting The Most Out Of Your Time and Your Life

A BEDTIME STORY

There are several anecdotes, i.e., Early to Bed Early to Rise Makes a Man Healthy, Wealthy, And Wise. Not sure about the wealthy, but the healthy & wise part I can attest to.. You would be pleasantly surprised by how the situations & issues currently confronting you can be seen more clearly in the AM, by yourself, with a cup of coffee. Now, when I say early, for me it means before sunrise. I thought I was truly a genius to finally discover what works, so you can imagine my surprise when my formula was met with snide comments and eye rolls (how does one do that anyhow?) Please note that I thoroughly understand the counter part of an early riser -- an early go to bedder. (is that a word?. . is now!) Which leads me to my next anecdote: The Early Bird Catches the Worm . . . (bet you understand now).The amount of business contacts you can make in the early AM will astound you. Seems that some extremely successful business people are also early risers!

HOW TO BE SEMI-RETIRED AND STILL RUN A BUSINESS

Now that you understand your “office hours” it is easier than you think to continue being productive while still having plenty of time to fit in 18 holes on the golf course. You simply have to take your business experiences and put them to work for you. If you were in sales; find a product you can sell from home. If you were in management; do consulting. etc. etc.

It really is as simple as it sounds. No need to stop and think about it – no hidden message to be found.

However there may be a lifestyle change involved – You Need To Become A Techy Nerd. Computers, Internet, Fax Machines, Scanners, Printers, iPhones, Blackberry's, Face Book, Twitter, Etc. Etc. You could be on a mountain in Utah and still run a business (which is where I am off to – closing a big deal on top of a big mountain).

Couple the BEDTIME STORY with HOW TO BE SEMI-RETIRED AND STILL RUN A BUSINESS and you will be amazed at what you can accomplish and still have the time to do whatever, whenever you want to do it.

By the way, my wife tells me there is a down side to going to bed early… but that’s a whole other story...

--Frank

Editor's Note: Time is so precious. The more of it we spend, the less of it we have left... and to further complicate the issue, every Boomer has witnessed enough of the tenuous nature of life (with friends in life transitions, or becoming ill, or dying too damned young) to know that precisely how much time we have left is uncertain, and unknowable. Every second of time spent is either an investment or an irretrievable waste.

Each of us is an adult, responsible for his or her own time. This is a great responsibility. What we accumulate through our investment of time is our portfolio -- a portfolio comprised of friends, lovers*, business associates and unforgettable experiences. Each of us, as Human Beings first, and as Boomers second, has a sacred duty to to himself or herself to get the most out of time and the most out of life.

SrMeetUp! was designed to be a vehicle for getting the most out of your time and the most out of your life. Life has so much to offer! Waiting for life to come visit you is not an option -- we must run after life (often like that school bus that you just missed while you were having that second glass of Carnation Instant Breakfast or waiting for your Sugar-Cinnamon PopUp to cool off after its fragrant emergence from the toaster), embrace it, and squeeze it for all it's worth. Turn it upside-down, shake it, and see what falls out of its deep pockets.

If you are a Boomer, we offer you a whole bunch of great things under one roof. Join us, and enrich your life's experience. As they say on television, "You got people!"

--Elaine Ingis and Douglas Castle

*By the way, Frank..."Early to bed" is NOT always wise. Your wife has a valid point. Every so often, there's something (or someone) worth staying up for.

Labels and key terms: differentiating yourself, Elaine Ingis, Getting The Most Out of Your Day, your life is an investment, SIMPLY BEING FRANK, SrMeetUp! Featured Columnists, Time is an investment, Time is Money, Douglas Castle, Finding Love, experience, retirement, opportunities, making each moment count, finding happiness, business and pleasure, Boomers, recreation, lifestyles...

Q1: If everyone is a

2009-06-16T16:08:00.001-04:00

Q1: If everyone is a "coach", who is going to be left to train? Q2: Shouldn't every coach lead by personal example? "Those who can, do...

TNNW - more than a 4

2009-06-16T15:56:00.001-04:00

TNNW - more than a 4-letter word (Ahem). Join us http://htxt.it/2kn4 Also searching for gifted writers. #douglascastle

LYNN PATNER'S COLUMN: To Grumble or Not To Grumble, That is the Question...

2009-06-15T11:04:00.008-04:00

To Grumble or Not To Grumble , That is the Question…
By SrMeetUp! Featured Columnist Lynn Patner

All around me I am hearing grumbling. I hear grumbles from my students, from my clients, while I am standing in a grocery store and at dinners with friends. There are the economic grumbles, the physical grumbles and of course the relationship grumbles. I cannot go anywhere anymore without hearing someone grumble. All this grumbling is affecting me, and even at the dog park, the dogs are getting into the grumbling mood. Fights are breaking out right and left.

Now granted, the world situation is less than perfect. The collapse of the economy, the housing debacle and the loss of jobs, et cetera, only brings around more grumbling, nothing else. It goes like this: one starts to grumble, then another adds their grumbles and soon there are many grumbles. Now grumbling would be fine if it solved something or was of good use, but grumbling does nothing. It’s like sitting in a rocking chair and expecting to go somewhere. It doesn’t even make one feel better.

Do you remember the cartoon character in the Charlie Brown series, Pigpen? Wherever he walked little clouds of dust followed. That is exactly what happens with grumbles; they are like little clouds of dust that follow behind you collecting more grumbles as they go forward. The problem is they keep attracting only negativity.

In 1994 I stepped onto a path and began an amazing journey. I learned that our thoughts, either verbalized or not, create our experiences. That new information took a very long time to penetrate my mind. But then I saw what thoughts and beliefs produced, and it opened an entirely different world of reality. The reality is, I am the producer, the director and the star of my own life. This revelation did not make me happy because I could no longer be the victim in my own life drama. I couldn’t blame my parents, nor the environment and worse yet I couldn’t grumble about any of it anymore. If I was not a victim, then I must be the creator. Creator is definitely a better option.

What I have learned about my thoughts and the power of them, my emotions, and my beliefs is they literally create my reality. And it is now being proven by scientific methods no less. Wow! All you doubting Thomas out there read on.

In 2005 Bruce Lipton Ph.D., a cellular biologist, published “The Biology of Belief.” This book was awarded 2006’s Best Science Book of the Year. In the book he presents scientific evidence showing that genes and DNA do not control our biology. Instead, our genes are turned on and off by signals from outside the cells in our bodies, including the energetic messages emanating from our positive and negative thoughts. The significance of this shift in belief is vast, in that the original view held for a long time was that we were victims of our own biology. The ‘new’ sciences show that we are actually masters of our biology.

An earlier book, “Timeless Healing: The Power and Biology of Beliefs,” published in 1997 by Dr. Herbert Benson, M.D. tells about a study conducted in 1957 at Cook County Hospital in Chicago. This study found, according to Dr. Benson, that 30 percent of the patients with rheumatoid arthritis benefited from placebos. Their placebo relief lasted at least three months. In 1995 more research was conducted confirming this study. The results were published in the Annals of Internal Medicine, where 40 percent of individuals suffering with rheumatoid arthritis had a 50 percent reduction in both swelling and tenderness in their joints by simply taking a placebo. These effects lasted for six months or more.

There continues to be scientific evidence that states that we are powerful creators in our lives and the world in which we live. So, less grumbling is important as our beliefs about ourselves and the world, regardless if they are true or false, positive or negative affect us on a multitude of levels. So, I say, " just say no to grumbling."

A few tools to assist you any time you are in a grumbling space…

• Listen to uplifting music
• Think positive thoughts
• Walk in nature
• Relax in water
• Read an inspirational book
• Play with a child
• Laugh often
• Go shopping

What is important to remember is that our thoughts are creating our reality all the time. Most of the time we are creating these thoughts with our unconscious mind. As a matter of fact, I just recently heard that we are creating our lives around 95 percent from the unconscious mind. That is important information to notice. So you ask, what is the answer. The answer is: become aware of your thoughts and redirect them when you start to grumble.

Do anything that opens your heart and fills you with joy and you are on the path to bring about a life transformation.

-- Lynn

BRIEF COMMENTARY By ELAINE INGIS:

It is amazing how much we accomplish out of sheer vision and the will to make things happen. Lynn Patner offers both a tremendous opportunity and a challenge to every Boomer -- since we have the ability to transform our state of physiological health by out thoughts about life, why do we waste time dwelling on negative possibilities? There may be more to the Law of Attraction (the force behind those "self-fulfilling prophesies" many of us learned about in Psychology 101) than many of us have ever realized. We are blessed and burdened by the obligation to create our own reality by our thinking processes.

Being aware of this, we owe it to ourselves, each of us, to surround ourselves with positive influences and to avoid energy vampires who seem to thrive on complaining, suffering and misery. Carrying this one step further, we can enrich and improve our lives by becoming vitally involved in a social group or community that has a courageous, problem-solving orientation, instead of by sitting alone and talking to some well-intentioned friend on the telephone who reaffirms and prolongs our misery by fueling our outrage or by encouraging us to retreat from what life has brought us. We each have great personal power; this power is multiplied when we combine forces with other positive people.

At the risk of sounding like a shameless self-promoter, SrMeetUp! was created to bring about a positive, supportive and strengthening community environment for our Members. Positive thoughts are contagious -- why not share them? - E.I.

[Douglas Castle, a Director of SrMeetUp! and the Developer of both the Braintenance and Links 4 Life Blogs contributed to this Commentary]

PLS --> --> Dear Fri

2009-06-06T22:42:00.001-04:00

PLS --> --> Dear Friends: If you do not already have a free Twitter account, you can get one at http://twitter.com. Twitter affords you a unique opportunity to refine your brevity skills -- you have exactly 140 characters within which to express your thoughts. Every character counts! To follow us on INTERNAL ENERGY PLUS, log into your Twitter account and head for http://htxt.it/MIy9 To follow us on THE NATIONAL NETWORKER, log into your Twitter account (what's that? you're already logged in? Great!) and head for http://htxt.it/5vac I'll look forward to our Tweeting each other (with wespect). See you there. Faithfully, Douglas Castle (http://htxt.it/6dHO THE NATIONAL NETWORKER- We Are Networking BRAINTENANCE - Stay Razor Sharp INTERNAL ENERGY PLUS - Human Potential THE INTERNATIONALIST PAGE THE GLOBAL FUTURIST

Going Inside

2009-06-03T17:07:00.013-04:00

Just as I was getting ready to head west to teach a journal writing workshop, Elaine invited me to write a little blog entry for SrMeetUp! That started my brain going on the difference between journal writing and blogging—two things that many people think are the same thing. In fact, some of my students at the university equate putting their thoughts out there in cyberspace with journal writing. But I am certain that these are two very different endeavors—not mutually exclusive and not necessarily contradictory—but still very different.

If blogging is putting one’s thoughts and ideas “out there” to be visited and read by others, it doesn’t necessarily mean a blogger censors or even edits, but there always exists the idea that you are presenting yourself, in whatever fashion you choose, to the world. Now journal writing is a very different act and it’s not about “out there” but about “in here.” It might indeed be the very first step to a blog post, but journal writing is about self-reflection and not about self-presentation, about getting inside rather than going outside.

The more I think about this, the more important I believe journal writing is for those of us who spend a lot of time “out there.” In order to present ourselves to the world, especially at this point in our lives where we can take pleasure in knowing ourselves, we need to spend more time noticing ourselves . I just learned that scientists speculate that molecules in cells are in constant flux which makes me feel much better about my own mercurial thoughts and ideas. Of course some things stay constant, some values and evaluations, but if we are truly alive to the world, things change within us daily and we need to take the time to be introspective before we go blurting to the world.

So the idea which I offer to all of you “out there” is that we could all benefit from using the old notion of “tithing,” in this case giving 10 percent of our time to ourselves--to notice, to write it down, to go below the surface. Some years ago, I asked participants in a journal writing workshop to make a list of 100 desires. Seems like a lot, doesn’t it? But the trick is to write as fast as you can, and you’re allowed to repeat. Even with this instruction that was guaranteed, I thought, to get below the conscious mind, two of the “senior” women in the group never got around to listing anything for themselves. Their lists were all about their children, grandchildren, church and community. They needed more practice in noticing themselves.

So take a stab at that list of 100 desires—

1. Label the top of the page "I want," or "I desire";

_____________________________________________________

2. Write as quickly as you can and just let it all hang out. Write whatever comes into your head without censoring and without worrying about grammar or complete sentences;

_____________________________________________________________________

3. No need to feel foolish because no one's going to read it since it's in your journal and not out there in a blog post;

_____________________________________________________________________________

4. Do it for yourself and then review the list and see if you find any patterns.

__________________________________________________________________________

Maybe when I get back from my workshop, I'll be ready to put more ideas out there, for example, what to do with that list!

-- Rita Jacobs

####

Author Rita D. Jacobs teaches journal writing workshops around the world. Her most recent book is titled, “The Way In: Journal Writing for Self-Discovery”. She is a Professor of English at Montclair State University in NJ.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

***Our readers are invited to comment on this article. Simple scroll down to the bottom of the article, locate the link that says (but not out loud) "Comment". Your comment, if clever and suitable, will then be published.

Publishing Guidelines for SrMeetUp!

2009-05-31T22:01:00.007-04:00

Calling All Writers: Either Accomplished or Aspiring...

Do you have an area of expertise, experience or passion that you would like to share with our Boomer audience?... If you do, and if you would be truly interested in becoming either a Featured Columnist or a Guest Columnist, click on the button above in order to instantly download our SrMeetUp! Publishing Guidelines. These positions offer no cash compensation, but think of the taxes that you won't have to pay!

Featured Columnists get to write regular columns either once or twice monthly, while Guest Columnists write when they see fit. Many excellent Featured Columnists have started their brilliant careers as freelancers and guests. The material contained in the articles is geared to the interests and needs of Baby Boomers -- social, emotional, business, financial and investment, entertainment, travel, hobbies, events, education...you name it!

Our articles are not promotional -- they are entertaining and/or educational -- but they do provide fine writers with a chance to promote themselves and their products, services and organizations through well-constructed article by-lines, where they have an opportunity to describe their services, add live website or blogsite links and to display their contact information.

Irregardlessly (as Bob and Ray were inclined to say), content is critical, and that is what we are looking for from any of our contributors.

If you truly have an interest, click on http://www.mediafire.com/?zefmwnhg5go , download and review the Guidelines, and then send us your first article.

Before you do any of this, be certain that you've reviewed some of the posts on http://SrMeetUp.blogspot.com to get into the Boomer spirit. You are also welcome to follow us on Twitter. Just go to http://twitter.com/SrMeetUp .

--We hope to be hearing from you soon.

DO OVERS

2009-05-25T17:47:00.009-04:00

Do Overs

Hey guys, you may not recall, but Do Overs usually don’t count. Unless you are one of the very lucky ones that not only get a second chance but realize that you ARE getting this second chance – This Is It!

Another futile word is Rationalization. I still don’t understand the purpose of justifying. Having acquired either a formal and/or streetwise education, you choose to do or react to something; consequences usually occur and you move on, hopefully learning by these experiences. Funny, we only rationalize when something doesn’t work out as we planned. When we are uncomfortable with the outcome or make a mistake (heaven forbid!), we rationalize why the outcome was less than perfect –- in other words “It’s not my fault-he made me do it”. Really doesn’t matter WHY you acted as you did – you simply did. Now stop whining and do something about it.

Essie’s Fable (with attribution to Aesop):

A friend, who will obviously remain anonymous, (hereinafter called the "unkind friend"), took financial advantage of another friend (the "kind friend"). Instead of coming right out and accusing the unkind friend, the kind friend sent an email suggesting that there might have been an error due to miscommunication, etc. The unkind friend’s response was full of nonsensical fantasies and justifications so numerous that it really didn’t even matter what the initial infraction was. What I was truly amazed at was how the unkind friend put all of that creativity and energy into rationalizing and not taking responsibility to remedy the issue – all those creative juices working for evil instead of good. He brought a new meaning to the word rationalization. – Moral of the story – if it ain’t in the Sunday comics, I’m not interested in unkind evil doers.

However, today is your lucky day. We now have a chance to Do Over, to reconnect and network with the best and brightest Baby Boomer 60+ -- To revitalize, reinvent, and reinforce all that we are. Maybe even to figure out WHO (whom?) we are. But one thing is certain; we are still kicking up a storm. If only we lived in Kansas it would be more apparent. But SrMeetUp is the next best place to kick up our heels and get back in the game (so many clichés, so little time). No need to rationalize why you can’t find the time, or why an internet “thing” is not for you – you have plenty of time – retired or not – and the internet is for everyone, that is, unless you never want to communicate with your kids and family again. You can’t rationalize not becoming a member of our Boomer Community because you already are THE community... you have involuntarily turned 60 and you should be loving it. SrMeetUp is here to help get your creative juices back on track and to put an address to our neighborhood.

This is not my site; it is our site, our space to be heard, to strike a chord. Not to repeat, but to continue with the energy and enthusiasm that we’ve always brought to our social and professional lives. I challenge anyone of you to rationalize why you cannot join us – double dare you!

--Elaine

p.s. In the upper right-hand corner of this article, there is a photograph of a Nok Hockey tournament, where Do Overs happen all of the time, as do "hamburger shots" and other exciting innovations to make the game (and life, in general) much more interesting, and far more fun. "Once, twice, three --shoot!" And then the puck is in motion.

LIFE LINKS HAS BEEN RENAMED "LINKS 4 LIFE"

2009-05-22T19:24:00.000-04:00

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Life Links has been renamed "Links 4 Life"

Dear Friends:

Effective immediately, LIFE LINKS has changed its name to "LINKS 4 LIFE." Our web address will remain the same, at http://lifelinksiep.blogspot.com/ , and our updates will be posted more frequently. As a not-for-profit service for the benefit of the public, we offer unsurpassed resources in the event of a health, financial or psychological crisis. We have contacts for returning soldiers, the recently unemployed, the elderly and the chronically ill. Please visit the site and make us a favorite.

Please forward this message to all of your family, friends and business associates...it could save somebody's life.

Thank you.

Douglas Castle

---This message is sponsored by THE NATIONAL NETWORKER, INTERNAL ENERGY PLUS and SrMeetUp!---

TWITTER FOR BOOMERS

2009-05-21T11:02:00.005-04:00

Dear Friends:

We are becoming increasingly active on various social media, including TWITTER. The latest Twitter post from us at SrMeetUp! was:

SrMeetUp Baby Boomers 60+ Join our community! http://SrMeetUp.blogspot.com. Bring your Pez and your slinkies. We double-dog dare you! JUKEBOX, too...less than 5 seconds ago from web.

In the right-hand column of this blog, we feature a steady feed of our most recent "tweets" from Twitter. Just click on any item, and read the whole story. Also, if you would like to join (follow) us on Twitter, or perhaps offer up some Tweets of your own, just go to http://twitter.com/SrMeetUp .

The question remains...(visualize Elmer Fudd)..."twick or tweet, wabbit?"

--Douglas Castle

SHRINKING URLS - BLESSING OR CURSE?

2009-05-19T13:29:00.014-04:00

Dear Friends:

We have decided to use a special service to shrink our urls for more effective twittering. The url is the fancy (but oftimes lengthy) http://...etc...etc/... address that you, the innocent and curious reader, click upon to access an article or website in cyberspace.

Just for the sake of wholesome scientific experimentation, click on http://twitlik.com/808 and see what you get.

The service that provides this "instant url circumcision" capability for us is http://twitlik.com/ . We do not endorse them, or pass on their merits. Their name even sounds remotely vulgar. The truncation process is painless, though, even without an anesthetic.

But one has to wonder...is a shorter url a better url?

Speaking for myself (as I sometimes do), I prefer the lengthy old-style url...it contained so much information...it had character...it was a bit like a "sneak preview," whereas these newfangled shortened urls leave us clueless as to their content and origin.

For the sake of contrast, here's an old-fashioned url that I particularly like:
http://thenationalnetworkerweblog.blogspot.com/2009/05/irrelevant-post.html.

As you can see, it carries a wealth of information and intrigue.

Perhaps, as they say on at least one late-night television commercial, "bigger IS better."

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

p.s. Here are useless SEO terms which have no bearing on this article: shrinking urls, Twitter, SrMeetUp Blog, TNNW Articles, Elaine Ingis, Adam J. Kovitz, IEP, Tweets, progress, social media, size matters, blessing, curse, Angels & Demons, Brangelina, google, yahoo, msn, Topper, My Little Margie, spiders, American Idol, Leave it to Beaver, Make Millions While You Sleep.

Editorial Guidelines for SrMeetUp! Authors

2009-05-15T18:41:00.002-04:00

Dear Friends:

Many of you have expressed an interest in writing Featured Columns for the SrMeetUp blog, and we are delighted at your enthusiasm.

We anticipate that we will have our uniform SrMeetup Editorial Guidelines published in a downloadable .pdf format within the next week or so. As soon as we have finalized them, we will create a button link so that all aspiring contributors of content can be familiar with our parameters before they begin submitting articles for editorial review and possible publication.

Please keep a lookout (Keemosabe -- watch for smoke signals...Hmmm...) for the new button link, and thank you again for your overwhelming show of enthusiasm and interest. Boomers have so much to say; what is more, they/we express it profoundly and poignantly.

Yours,

Elaine Ingis

Douglas Castle

SrMeetUp!