Square-Peg Reflections

Airport Etiquette

2009-11-14T16:01:22-05:00

I haven't flown much (or at all) in the past 30-some years. That changed this past summer when I went out to visit my friend Wendy in Portland.*

And again when I went to Saluda, NC to be part of Barbara Sher's WriteSpeak retreat. Nevertheless - 6 flights isn't a lot of flying - so I wonder if these experiences are unique to me?!?

Going home from Portland I was dragging. I never sleep quite soundly in any bed that isn't my own beloved home-bed (no matter how comfy and delightful) - plus we'd been busy - so, like I said, I was dragging.

I lagged behind as Wendy speedwalked from the parking area. She even hoisted my ridiculously heavy backpack and carried it as far as she could go into the airport and I still lagged behind. What can I say? Wendy's a mover and I'm not.

When we reached the "get-the-hell-out-of-here-ye-without-tickets" spot inside the airport I hugged Wenders goodbye, grabbed my wheel-less enormosity of a backpack and went through the checking in stuff and on to finding my terminal (always the furthest from the airport entrance - how is that even possible?).

Aside: I (brilliantly) discovered wheeled luggage for the NC trip. Godbless the folks who came up with it! - actually, I had noticed the wheeled luggage earlier - just didn't get why it'd be a big deal - duh.

All the time I was dragging - and the d r a g was getting worse. Finally it was time to board the plane and I lifted the god-awful heavy backpack once again and trudged onto the plane.

Miles later, when I got to seat 306, I was really tired - it took every bit of strength I could muster to heave the outrageously heavy bag up and shove it into an overhead bin. Unfortunately I had to do this twice, because the first time didn't work.

Instead of launching the backpack right up into the overhead compartment I only hurled it part way -- and onto the head of a fellow passenger.

And here's where the airport etiquette comes in - the guy turned around and asked me if I was ok! Really! Before he even had time to feel for lumps he asked me if I was ok. And he asked emphatically - worriedly! I laughed out loud! I was so tired I could barely walk, wasn't much in the mood for talking - but LAUGHing I could still do and I did!!! Very energizing. I managed to squawk out: "It was you who just got beaned! Are YOU ok?" - no response - didn't seem to compute for him.

Continuing with the twisted etiquette - a few days ago I was on the first leg of the trip home from NC - boarding a tiny plane going from Asheville to Charlotte. It was almost take-off time and no one had come along to take the seat beside me - ahhhh.

But at the last minute an older gent (a larger, oldish gent - in a wale-less corduroy or crushed velvet jacket the color of which I can only call "puked wine" -- if I remember correctly - and wasn't hallucinating) ambled in and claimed the window seat (I was on the aisle).

He offered to take either seat, which was lovely - but wanting the aisle for this trip I gladly got up to let him get to his seat. Ouch! I hit my head on the roof of the plane (what I want to call the "bulkhead" - though I have no idea if that term is correct).

Immediately the older, interestingly dressed big guy said "I'm sorry." Fervently and sweetly. But it was as odd as the guy in the other plane who asked me if I was alright even though I was the one who hit him on the head with heavy luggage.

I laughed (again - I seem to love to laugh on airplanes) and reminded him of the obvious - he hadn't done a thing - I was the one who clumsily whacked my head. Then I went to sit down - and whacked my head again. And again he apologized, profusely this time. It was less amusing and I felt the need to explain that I am clumsy and he was not to blame. Jeez!

I'm left wondering - is this a thing? Is this airport etiquette? Maybe I need to test this out - take some more flights -- whack some more people with bags, smack my own noggen on a few more bulkheads...I'm not sure where I'd go with the research, but it'd be interesting to see if this is common on flights. Anyone out there have similar experiences? Any theories?

*I nearly cancelled my Wendy-visit about 6 times, until finally her hubby ordered me to "cowboy up" and get out there -- knowing it was just the thing Wendy and I really wanted! I wasn't afraid to fly. I had a boyfriend in high school with a pilot's license and I'd flown often in little 2 and 4 seaters. After flying (and loving flying) so close to the air, flying in a commercial flight never felt scary. What did feel scary was getting lost in airports. That felt way scary! But I'm over it now.

Nothing is Original

2009-11-13T15:55:42-05:00

I told Slightly-British Daughter about something Barbara Sher said - that resonated with me - at the WriteSpeak retreat this past week.

SBD (of course, because she's fricking brilliant - and always 3 miles ahead of me) reminded me of a quote with the same theme, that she has tacked inside her closet (shades of Salinger characters with writing on their walls) that she'd shown me a few weeks ago (and I'd - of course, because I'm that way - forgotten).

Here's the awesome, mind-blowing quote:

"Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, trees, street signs, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows.

Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this your work (and theft) will be authentic.

Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non existent. And don't bother concealing your thievery- celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean Luc-Godard said: 'Its not where you take things from, it's where you take them to.' "

Jim Jarmusch

Wow! Right?

Home again, Home again, Jiggety-jig!

2009-11-12T19:58:03-05:00

I'm home from Barbara F-ing Sher's WriteSpeak retreat! Wow and wow and wow!! I'm inspired and excited about moving forward with my message and meeting new, wonderful people and and and...

...but I'm a little bummed about not writing consistently on the blog in recent weeks. My friend Janice summed it up when she mentioned that, since she hasn't been up to writing lately, she feels she's "... letting my constituency down! LOL".

Me too! First I was underwater (swimming in the depths, as I whined about here - and elsewhere) for soooo long - and then I went away to the retreat without saying "bye" or even mentioning that I was going away for awhile -- and I didn't take my computer with me, so I couldn't post anyway (plus there was no internet access at the Inn) - and all in all I feel like I dropped the communication ball - sigh.

But here I am now - and again I'm making plans for consistency (the Beloved chuckles) - even some plans for something on the order of a couple weekly themes (something like Body-Part Wednesday, though on wider topics) - so, we shall see...

All this to say: I'm so glad to be back posting - and I look forward to hearing from YOU!

Put THAT in Your Leaf Blower

2009-11-02T19:04:17-05:00

Awhile ago we were out raking leaves - the whole crew: Slightly-Brit, Manchild, Little Princess (who was visiting) and I.

Our side yard looked pretty much like the picture above. No - Wait!! I wish our side yard looked like the picture above - that's a pretty expansive hill to sled down! What I meant was - our side yard had about the same amount of leaves as that picture above - not many, got it?

We were enthusiastic leafers. Even though we didn't have a tremendous number of leaves to work with - and even though the leaves were a teeny bit soggy from recent rain - we had fun. Little Princess rolled in the pile we raked up.

I started what grew to be a massive pile of small branches, twigs and nasty bits that you wouldn't want to roll in - or mow over. I even cleaned leaves out of one part of the back rain gutter...So we had fun and got some stuff done. Cool.

There weren't as many leaf-oriented things to do as when we have hoards of leaves (like now - I'm looking out at an entire yard of leaves that's maybe three feet deep!) - so Little Princess improvised.

She picked up one of the branches I'd put in my ginormous branch pile and pretended to be a fisherman. She held up her rod, cast her line and apparently caught something. She undid the fish - offered it to Slightly-Brit - and cast again.

This time she paid attention to her rod, noting that it was unusual. Hers was a rod with 3 jutting limbs. Three curved, jutting limbs - you could have called them "hooks". She sort of did.

Since she'd already given Slightly-B a fish - and since I was out of the leaf "boat" - it was Uncle Manchild's turn to be blessed by our little fisherman. Little Princess geared up, cast with her hooked fishing rod and hollered over to Manchild: "Hey Uncle, I'm gonna get YOU three hookers!"

Whatnow?

Here Comes The Sun

2009-10-25T13:24:06-04:00

I swear I've told this story before, but I can't seem to find it on the blog - and I don't have the benefit of seeing your eyes glaze over...soooooo I'll just proceed here.

The sun decided to come out today - and I needed it. Didn't realize how much I needed it until I saw it. I went out and hung laundry (hopscotching over dog turds, which is another story - one that will probably remain untold) and soaked in the sun. And (here's where the story comes in) found myself humming the Beatles song, "Here Comes the Sun". Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh - the sun!!!!!!!

Ok, so - "Here Comes the Sun" is playing away in my brain and I'm humming and hearing the lyrics - - except I'm hearing my lyrics, which are different from the original ones.

My lyrics include the name of my son. When he was a baby I used to sing (yea, frightening thought - but little ones don't care about voice range, tune carrying and such): "Here comes the sun, Little Harry, here comes the sun and I say..."

No harm in that - lots of mamas insert their wee ones names into songs, right? I am right about that aren't I? That's not another Square-Peg trait, is it?? Let's presume I'm right - and this is "normal" behavior. No problem unless the wee one never hears the original - and Mama neglects to mention to said wee one, that the version she's singing isn't the real version.

Because really, where would that fit into the singing?? "Here comes the sun, Little Harry, here comes the sun and I say - this is the fake version" - just doesn't have the flow, you know?

Harry (aka Manchild) was old when he first heard the Beatles' version of the lyrics and he was confused. Let me define what I mean by "old" - the truth is I don't remember exactly how old he was. I know he wasn't yet 40, but he was at least 8.

We were in the living room and I guess Slightly-Brit had the radio on in the kitchen.* "Here Comes the Sun" was playing, and Manchild stopped whatever he was doing - looked at me oddly - perplexed - and asked: "Where's the 'Little Harry' part?"

Gulp. I explained that our version, the one he'd heard me sing repeatedly since birth, was not the real one - and that I didn't realize he hadn't heard the original - and never considered that all his young life he'd assumed that our version was the original. Never occurred to me, not something I meant to disorient him with.

He claimed it was no big deal, but I swear I saw the wheels turning. He might have another story, but I think I did something (inadvertently) like pulling the rug out on Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and even the Valentine's Man - all at once! All of a sudden giving him reason to wonder what else this odd woman (who keeps insisting she's his mother) set him up for in life.

Make hay while the sun shines, Don't count your chickens until they hatch, It's always darkest before the dawn, Muzzle your mother lest she sing, People in glass houses shouldn't - Ack! There should be a moral to this story, but I can't find the right one - sigh...

*I often forget that there is such a thing as music - and am reminded when someone else has something playing. Which is cool, kinda, because it's like this great discovery every time. And whenever it happens I swear to myself that I'll remember music, because it's such a mood lifter and life blesser - such a great gift - and a tool I can use to help boost gratitude and joy -- but I don't remember. So I don't access that wonderful tool as often as I could, but I also get the joy of discovery every time I re-remember music.

Audio Interview with Author Anne Marie Bennett

2009-10-24T23:12:14-04:00

This is the last day in our week of posts honoring Breast Cancer Awareness month and Body-Mindfulness. To finish the week we have an audio recording with Anne Marie.

I asked Anne Marie to share a bit with us about ways that people were helpful to her when she was going through breast cancer - and also ways in which people were not helpful! She had some wise ideas for those of us who want to "be there" for friends or loved ones who are going through life-threatening illness.

Thanks for sharing with us, Anne Marie!

Bright Side of The Road Give-away Winner

2009-10-23T18:00:38-04:00

I missed posting on Day Five of our week of posts honoring Breast Cancer Awareness month and Body Mindfulness, but I'm back for Day Six! I actually missed the whole day, not just posting - too much Phillies-are-the-National-League-Champs type celebrating - whewwwwww!!

Today is the day we pick the book give-away winner - ta da!

Mary Ellen, you're the winner of Anne Marie Bennett's book ~ Bright Side of the Road: A Spiritual Journey Through Breast Cancer book. Congrats!!!

For anyone else who'd like a copy of the book - Anne Marie is on a book blog tour - and anyone who hosts a stop on the tour receives a complimentary copy of the book - you can find out about hosting the tour here.

OR you can read about how to order a copy here.

Thanks to everyone who commented!!

Baseball and Bodies

2009-10-21T17:50:44-04:00

(Today's Day Four of our week of posts honoring Breast Cancer Awareness month and body-mindfulness).

Yeah, body-mindfulness and baseball - that's a bit of a stretch - but wait, I think it'll work...

Although it gets worse before it gets better - meaning: I have to explain a bit more and it'll seem like I'm even more off the beaten track. Here goes...

Slightly-Brit sent me a recording of Scott Franzke calling the final play of Monday's baseball game between the Phillies and the Dodgers. The Phillies won (of course - evil grin) and Franzke's voice expressed such deep emotion that I am pretty sure anyone who listens to the recording will get teary-eyed (ok, maybe not Dodgers' fans).

And that (the recording) is what got me tying body-mindfulness in with baseball...

You may be asking: "How's that?" (or perhaps - "What's she on?" lol) - but really, it makes sense...

The tie-in is passion! The kind of passion where you are so excited about doing what you're doing, or seeing what you're seeing - that the focus is off YOU. The focus in on BEing and LIVE-ing - it's in the moment. I think that's the true, the real body-mindfulness deal. When you are so much BEing YOU that you're not thinking of you - you become more YOU - and also touch other people more. Kind of a contradiction - but not.

Or I've had too much coffee (or baseball) but really, it makes sense to me.

Here's the recording - just see if this doesn't grab your heart!!!

Bright Side of the Road - Book Give-away!

2009-10-20T18:49:55-04:00

It's Day Three of our week of posts honoring Breast Cancer Awareness month and Body Mindfulness!!

Today I'd like to share 3 things: another book review excerpt - this one from the Square-Peg review of Anne Marie Bennett's book Bright Side of the Road - information on our end of the week give-away of that wonderful book and a link to my friend Jena's Pink Ribbon Turtles Drawing benefiting the American Cancer Society for Breast Cancer Research.

1) On her site Jena says: "The "Pink Ribbon Turtles" Project is a fundraising project I began 5 years ago in memory of my dear mom...all donations go to the American Cancer Society for Breast Cancer Research."

Each year Jena hand-beads a beautiful piece for the drawing, this year's piece (professionally framed) is called "Friends" - "in honor of the friends that help us through our tough times". Please hop over to Jena's site, take a look at "Friends" (and the other pieces) and consider donating for the cure!!

2) Our Bright Side Give-away--> Anne Marie Bennett has graciously donated a book for our give-away this week. We'll be drawing a name from the commenters this Friday, October 23 (random drawing using the online random drawing tool) - and then we'll send the book out to the winner (who will LOVE the book - it's awesome!).

Uh-oh, there's a rule (how it hurts my Square-Peg heart to say the "r" word...): You've got to comment on this post. FB'ers - that means you'll need to come on over to the blog (to this link) to post your comment. Folks who are reading ON the blog, you can comment right here.

3) Here are excerpts from the Square-Peg review of Bright Side of the Road:

This book is written from the heart. Which, in my opinion, is the only kind of book worth reading. It is about a woman dealing with breast cancer. And, because books written from the heart are usually large in scope, it is also about many other topics.

It offers insights into the doctor-patient relationship, ways to live wholly (expressing ALL your feelings - as opposed to living in denial of the uncomfortable ones), the process of living reflectively (the book is written using journals Anne Marie kept), what's helpful (and what isn't) when people are facing a serious illness, dealing with other people as they come to terms with your illness, hospital euphemisms and hospital blessings, gratitude and much more, including - of course - walking on the Bright Side of the Road!

.....

Although Anne Marie does not attempt to teach about friendship and caring in this book, if you read it carefully, you will learn how to BE with a person who is ill (or going through a painful experience).

.....

There are many reasons you'd want to read this book. Obviously, if you or someone you love has breast cancer, or has gone through breast cancer and treatment, the book will be a companion.

But there is also much in this book for anyone who has dealt with a major illness or grief, for medical professionals wishing to learn how it feels to be on "the other side of the fence", and for anyone who wants to learn how to BE there for a friend or loved one who is dealing with a life-threatening illness.

The things I love most about the book are the honesty and openness that Anne Marie exhibits as she shares her story. This book is REAL - which is my highest praise.

You can read the full review here.

Look at that! I did a 1-2-3 thing - next thing you know I'll actually be organized - what a world!!

Body Mindfulness

2009-10-19T19:49:01-04:00

Today is Day Two of our week of posts honoring Breast Cancer Awareness month - and Body Mindfulness.

And today I want to share two things: an essay that my friend Luna wrote - called "My Left Breast" - because it helps me remember about real beauty -

and

bits from a review of Jan Phillips' book, Divining the Body - because the book helps me live with love and gratitude for my body.

Let the wild sharing begin (can you tell I'm a little obsessed with the movie Where The Wild Things Are? I still haven't gotten to see the movie - looks like it'll be tomorrow...But I keep wanting to say "Let the wild (fill in the blank) begin!" Maybe I'll be worse with repeating that phrase AFTER the movie - ohmy! Run quick!!

Ok, asides aside - here's Luna:

My Left Breast
by Luna

My beautiful, gifted artist friend Denise Mihalik has always intrigued me with her self-portrait photos. She inspires me on so many levels, but what touches my spirit most is the honesty she seems to capture with her camera's eye. She has courage and confidence when she takes those pictures of herself. She is so beautiful, and she finds beauty where ever on her body she focuses the lens.

For someone who has always struggled with body image this has seemed like something impossible, something that I could never do. But, I did something really big one day not so long ago...I took a picture of my left breast, my naked left breast.

Sweet Goddess!! I felt a bit awkward and somewhat naughty lying naked across my bed taking the picture, upstairs in my bedroom while Tom {Luna's husband} was away from home.

Read the rest of Luna's essay here.

And here are bits from my Square-Peg review of Divining the Body by Jan Phillips:

.....

She shares many of her own stories in this book...She also shares stories from others - among many of these is a beautiful description of dance used in a West African ritual to aid in processing grief. There's even a fable - whose message is "Beauty is what you see when someone is real."

.....

Jan encourages us in knowing and telling our own stories - she tells us:

"...when we share our stories...They not only help us clarify and understand the particularities of our lives, they help others enter more fully into the experience of their lives. When we acknowledge our vulnerabilities, our victories and failures, our fears and wildest dreams, we give others permission to do the same."

and

"It's through our stories that we begin to name ourselves, to say who we are under all the social trappings, and to emerge from those trappings like a butterfly from a chrysalis. We are midwives, in a way, to each other's rebirth."

.....

Here's what Jan Phillips wrote in the Introduction: "This book is an attempt to undo the damage we've sustained living in a culture that thrives on our self-hatred. It is a sanctification of our human bodies...a journey of awe and reverence..."

That's a huge attempt - and it works. This book is like medicine - a reuniting potion for the body and soul.

Read the whole review here.