“Confronting the Coach: Why You Should Wait Twenty-four Hours

It may not be a matter of IF you ever need to confront a coach, but rather a matter of WHEN. It may be necessary at some point when your daughter is very young. However, Iʼd strongly suggest you let her learn to fight her own battles as she grows older.

When should you confront? Iʼm not a big fan of complaining about playing time, but if you feel the need, there are ways and times to do it that will yield better results. If not, it can get ugly.

Click on book cover to purchase from Amazon.com (Kindle)

Letʼs say the game has just ended and you are ticked. Your little league softball player spent most of the game in the dugout. Or maybe you didnʼt like the way the coach talked to her or one of the players. Or maybe you simply do not understand his or her philosophy and why he or she is not letting your daughter play the position you think she should be playing.

The worst thing you can do at that point is to go give him a piece of your mind. Itʼs best to WAIT, at least twenty-four hours.

Hereʼs why thatʼs a good idea:

The coach is emotionally spent. The coach has just won or lost and given his or her all to coach a game. He or she is not going to be in a receptive mood. Your rants will likely go in one ear and out the other.

You will embarrass your daughter. When you confront the coach on the field after a game and give him or her a piece of your mind, you will have an audience. Word will get around. “Did you see Sarahʼs mom chewing out the coach? Man, Jennyʼs mom was really mad that she didnʼt play; she let the coach have it!” You may feel better about venting, but your child will only feel humiliated.

You need time to get perspective. Calm down. Vent to your spouse or a friend. If youʼre like me, you may even suffer through a restless night of sleep. Giving it a day will help you sort through whatʼs important and if this is a battle you really want to take on.  And if it is, then you will have time to formulate a calm and rational argument.

Coach needs time to re-think the game. And believe me, he or she will. Every coach does. Iʼve lived with one for twenty-eight years, and after every game, he processes.  “What should I have done? What did I do right? How can I help this team be better?”  Allowing the coach time to relive the game may help him or her see why he or she might have angered some parents.

Rants and angry accusations are weak arguments. Chances are good that if you approach a coach in anger and vent your frustrations, he or she will tune you out. But confronting a coach calmly will be more profitable for your daughter. In that atmosphere, you and the coach can come to a resolution that truly benefits your child. After all, itʼs all about whatʼs good for your child, isnʼt it? Not what makes you feel better.”

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Janis B. Meredith writes a sports parenting blog:  www. jbmthinks.com. She’s been a sports mom for 20
years and a coach’s wife for 28, and as a result, sees life from both sides of the bench.  You can also follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

The post BOOK EXCERPT: Softball Mom’s Survival Guide appeared first on Sports Feel Good Stories.

What motivated you to write your new book, Well-Prepared Coach™ – 25 Youth Softball Practice Plans?

During my 30+ years of coaching I noticed that youth sports organizations had a tendency to allocate considerably more time for games than practices.  As a result, there was a greater focus on exposing kids to the competitive aspects of sports at the expense of developing skills.  When kids are in school, they spend much more time learning their subjects than they do taking tests. Teachers work hard to make sure their students are prepared before they are tested. The same should be true of sports. While competition is great and games are fun, kids need to be adequately prepared to take the field on game day. That is the primary purpose of the book; to provide youth softball coaches with an easy-to-use tool for teaching their players the fundamentals of the game.

As a volunteer softball coach, is there anything you wish you had done differently?

In my early years of coaching, I simply did not know all the things I needed to know. In many ways it was on the job training and I often found myself reacting to things rather than anticipating and planning. Like many of my coaching peers, I was a young parent with several kids and a full- time job.  I volunteered to coach because I had played the game and felt that I could help the kids learn the fundamentals.  I made decisions regarding practice either while I drove to the field or while I was at the field. As I gained coaching experience, I learned that I was not adequately preparing kids for games because I was not as prepared as I should have been for practices.  In order to make sure I covered everything I needed to cover, I began preparing written plans for each practice. As I learned more from watching other coaches & from attending coaching clinics, I modified the plans to include new ways of doing things. I wish I had my book of practice plans in my early years of coaching. I know I would have been a better coach & my players would have been better prepared.

How should coaches use your book?

The book provides complete instructions for 25 pre-practice meetings & 25 practices. Before the season

Actual size: 8.5″ by 11″

starts, I recommend that the coach read each practice plan so that they have a good understanding of all the topics that need to be covered during the season. Each plan is written for a 90 minute practice. While this is the recommended time, coaches may have a practice field for a shorter time. If this is the case, some portions of the practice plan may need to be modified in order to fit into the allocated time. Prior to each practice I recommend that the coach print out the pre-practice meeting outline and the practice plan & put it on clipboard. They should also spend a few minutes reviewing the plan & highlight or make notes in the margin on teaching points they want to make sure they review with their players.

What did you enjoy most about coaching 4^th-8^th grade athletes?

Kids in this age group are eager to learn & their skills increase dramatically from year to year.  Typically there is great diversity in size, skills & understanding of sports in this age group. During this period they can experience tremendous physical growth; by eighth grade some reach their adult height. From a softball perspective, players develop faster in this age group than any other.

Are there any final words you would like to pass on to volunteer coaches?

Enjoy the time you spend with the kids & realize they play the game because they consider it  a fun way to spend their time. And remember to keep a positive attitude. The kids will make mistakes & will need to be reminded several times before they learn something. It’s all part of the growth & development process. When they realize that they learn through their mistakes, they will become more relaxed, they will be willing to try new things, will develop faster & ultimately they will enjoy the game more. Good luck & have a fun season!

Check out Well Prepared Coach – 25 Youth Softball Practice Plans by John Blissenbach at www.coachingwhiz.com

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Adreian Payne’s Twitter photo of Lacey and him at courtside

They exchange texts and Lacey had the opportunity to watch Adreian play at the Big Ten tournament.  In the CBS video below shown before an NCAA tournament game today, Lacey shows her “wall of Payne” tribute to Adreian featuring photos and posters of the 6’10″, 240 pound star player.  In the inspirational video, Lacey says, ““My favorite thing that Adreian’s ever given me is a hug.”

With a line like that, you can see why that is this is a sports feel good story.

 Adreian Payne and Lacey Holsworth

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Indiana has high school basketball, Texas has high school football, and Minnesota has high school hockey. Neal Broten, Phil Housley, Mark Parrish and Herb Brooks are just some of the notables who have played in the tournament in past years. The tournament creates lifetime memories for many participants. According to a Sports Illustrated article on the tournament, “A few years ago a hockey columnist quoted former University of Minnesota and U.S. Olympic coach Herb Brooks as saying that winning a state championship for St. Paul’s Johnson High in 1955 was one of the best moments of his career. Upon reading it, Brooks called the writer and claimed he had been misquoted. Brooks said it was the best moment, better than coaching the Miracle on Ice team in the 1980 Winter Olympics.”

Each year, the final rounds of the hockey tournament are televised across the state.  Hockey players growing up dream of being introduced on tv before their state tournament games.  There’s the opportunity to say, “Hi Mom,” smile at the camera, and to showcase your favorite hair cut.  For the past couple of years, one gentleman has put together his favorite “Hockey Hair Team,” with winners receiving the opportunity to receive a free hair cut.

The running commentary on each hairdo makes this the best Hockey Hair team video we’ve ever seen (and the only one we’ve ever seen).  When a Hermantown player with long hair and beard is shown, the voice over states, “”Finishing up with Jake here, who shows us that Hermantown is indeed, nearby Bethlehem.”

The video is produced by Pulltab Productions and definitely worth a watch.

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With seconds left in the game, and Franklin High School throwing the ball in from the sidelines, it appeared as if Mitchell’s varsity game would result in a scoreless effort.  But, then Jonathon Montanez, a member of the Franklin High School team, took matters into his own hands.  Instead of passing to a teammate, Montanez decided to give Mitchell another shot at making two points by throwing him the ball.  His assist was rewarded as Mitchell made a last second shot.

Coronada High fans stormed the court celebrating Mitchell’s only basket.  While the score had no effect on the final outcome of the game (Coronado won easily), clearly Montanez’s selfless move was a major score for sportsmanship.  Well played Mr. Montanez and congratulations Mr. Marcus.

 Sportsmanship helps Mitchell Marcus score first varsity hoop

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Here are three shining examples, each spectacular in their own way.  You gotta love the game of basketball!

You’ve gotta be kidding me – New Rochelle vs. Mt Vernon (2013)

New Rochelle down by 2 points with Khalil Edney taking the ball in bounds for New Rochelle …

One long buzzer beater – Guilford College vs Randolph Macon (2005)

Game tied, Randolph Macon makes first free throw and then Jordan Snipes rebounds the missed shot and …

Sitting down on the job – Hopkins vs. Eastview (2005)

Hopkins down by 2 points with little time on the clock, cue Mr. Blake Hoffharber …

The post I see your buzzer beater and raise you two appeared first on Sports Feel Good Stories.

For the races, Conner provides the brawn and Cayden provides the spirit.  For the swim, Conner pulls him in a raft.  The bike portion finds him pulling Cayden, and in the run, Conner pushes him in a stroller.  They’ve competed in over 12 triathlons.

For many children like Cayden, participating in a swimming, biking or running race is just not part of the equation.  For Conner Long, the idea of not including his brother in events like these is just not part of the equation.

Conner and Cayden Long:  An Inspirational Sports Story

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“A great coach can help athletes make the jump from having a promising career to having an Olympic medal. Much time, effort, and research has been put into discovering the best ways of motivating athletes and training their bodies and minds to excel beyond previous human capability in sporting activities. Coaching isn’t just for world-class athletes, though. A middle school football team or a recreational cycling class can be great ways to build athletic prowess, and professional coaches know how to help athletes at all skill levels get the best performance from themselves and their teammates. The sites on this list are kept by highly motivated, skilled, and well-trained coaches who have decided to bring their message of fitness and training to the web.”

Read the complete list here:  http://sportsmanagementdegree.org

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When Visitation 5th grade basketball team took on St. Thomas More at Christ the King School in Kansas City, MO, on December 1, 2012, attendees were treated to an amazing buzzer beater.

With the score tied on a clutch free throw with just 3 seconds to play, St. Thomas More’s Max Goodwin took an in-bounds pass from Casey O’Halloran, dribbled to half-court and launched the winning shot.  Amazing!  It was the type of sports moment that gets talked about for years to come.

“THE SHOT”

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It’s been a year since Thomas Bowlin was nominated for the St. Paul (Minn.) Athlete of the Year. He remembers being onstage at the St. Paul Downtown Lions Club with multi-sport stars like Mark Alt, a state champion quarterback who got a hockey scholarship from the University of Minnesota. Past winners include Dave Winfield, Paul Molitor, Chris Weinke and Joe Mauer.

Bowlin was 5-foot-4 and 135 pounds. He looked around at the other finalists and thought, “What the heck am I doing here?”

The answer to that starts in an Arizona hospital bed, where Bowlin lay three years ago, receiving the Catholic Anointing of the Sick sacrament delivered to those near death. Bowlin was only a teenager, but he had been through 70 surgeries already. This one, his parents feared, would be the last.

“This one was different,” remembers Tom, Bowlin’s dad. “Other doctors thought it was far too dangerous of a procedure to even attempt — the smallest of mistakes could end his life.”

Thomas Bowlin was born with a form of spina bifida, a disorder in which the backbone and spinal canal do not close before birth. He had a shunt surgically placed to drain fluid from his brain. Eventually, as a small child, Bowlin was fitted with leg braces below his knees and with the help of crutches, was able to move around.

Somehow, a love of sports developed and thrived.

Propping himself up with one crutch, Bowlin learned to play basketball and baseball from his dad. “He had a great arm, and with the bat in one arm and the crutch in the other, he could hit,” says Tom. “We even looked into him playing football as the field goal kicker’s holder, but thought better of it.”

Thomas wanted to be a part of a team – any team. “I wanted to be like everyone else,” he says.

As he grew older, more medical problems developed. A surgical error when he was 12 years old resulted in Thomas needing to use a wheelchair full-time. When the shunt didn’t work as it was designed, Bowlin endured intense headaches, nausea and fatigue. As the result of scar tissue build-up from his surgeries, Bowlin’s symptoms became more constant when he turned 13.

And still it didn’t stop Thomas from pursuing his love of sports. He joined a local wheelchair basketball team and adapted his shot to a sitting position. “With all of his suffering, Thomas never complained,” says Tom. “He’d play a basketball tournament, come home, and within a couple of days, we’d have to take him to the doctor or emergency room; but his teammates never knew. He didn’t let on.”

Living in Minnesota, a leader in providing adapted athletic opportunities, Thomas had opportunities to play adapted floor hockey, adapted softball, adapted soccer and wheelchair basketball. He played them all, despite his pain. “He would never give up,” says Tom, “and there were lots of opportunities when he could have.”

His parents sought the best care for Thomas from top medical institutions, but nothing worked. The headaches became constant. In his first two years of high school, Thomas could only summon to attend 90 days of classes.

Then, finally, in 2008, the last-ditch surgery in Arizona worked.

After a three-week recovery period, Thomas’ symptoms were gone. “I’d still get an occasional headache,” he says, “but they’re like the ones that everyone has.”

Thomas went right back to the field of play. And his achievements piled up: 14 times he lettered for a varsity sports team; nine times he was selected as captain of his teams; eight times he won all-conference awards; six times he was selected as defensive player of the year.

And his wheelchair basketball team won a national championship.

“I ask myself what goal or image do I have for myself in sports — do I want to just sit back and enjoy myself or try to be a leader?” says Thomas. “And then, I set about identifying the steps I need to take to improve myself and my teammates. For me, sports have been about fitting in.”

He did just that on stage a year ago. He did more than that, actually.

Thomas Bowlin became the first adaptive athlete to win St. Paul Athlete of the Year.

He graduated last June and now, at age 18, he’s planning to attend Southwest Minnesota State and play wheelchair basketball there.

“Being in a wheelchair,” he says, “you don’t think about being on a sports team — having that opportunity. I never thought I’d be able to do some of the things I did playing on a team. I felt very honored to be on a list that included Joe Mauer and Dave Winfield.”

No doubt Mauer and Winfield are just as honored to be on a list that includes Thomas Bowlin.

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This article is also featured at Yahoo Sports’ online magazine The Post Game:  Among Giants: Minnesota Athlete Overcomes 70-Plus Surgeries To Join State’s Greats

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