Spirit of Adoption

Bloodline

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 18:03:00 +0000

Piper's yearly MLK weekend sermon was so good this year. I think it's good every year : ), but that's beside the point ; )

He is summarizing his book Bloodlines in this sermon, so if you want to dig deeper into this and get more personal history on Piper, read Bloodlines. He says it's the most personal book he's ever written. I can't wait to read it!

"God is calling all people and all people's from alienated bloodlines of race and ethnicity into one bloodline of Jesus Christ."

There's so much I love about that simple, but profound statement! I LOVE that reconciliation isn't about US, but about Christ. Reconciliation isn't through us, but through Christ! Praise God that we get to be reconciled and brought together amongst the nations AND that it's possible, even in the greatest of hatred, because His blood is sufficient!

"We are to be agents of racial reconciliation. Racial strife should not be done amongst the people of God."

We need to consider and be creative in the ways we can be agents of racial reconciliation. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this! We strongly believe transracial adoption is a means of pursuing racial reconciliation. Because of our kids adoption, we feel joyfully obligated to live in a dominantly black neighborhood, go to MLK celebrations, go to Juneteenth celebrations, read books with black people, study black history, have black dolls in our home, and position ourselves in a way that they can learn from black culture and build relationships with black people. BUT, we would want this even if we didn't have our black kids. I think, however, it makes it easier with our black kids. We have a lot to learn, so we get to humble ourselves {and sometimes make fools of ourselves} and ask questions of black people that reveal our ignorance. Prayerfully, we hope that these questions and our lifestyle will be a means to racial reconciliation on a micro level. But how do we become agents on a macro level? There is racial tension all over the world! How do we effectively impact the nations for racial reconciliation through Christ from where we are?

How do we be a voice for the unborn black and hispanic babies that are targeted by planned parenthood? How do we be a voice to possibly prevent another Holocaust or Rwanda genocide? I want to be an agent for racial reconciliation!

"Post civil rights Americans need to b aware of one sentence: new laws do not make new hearts"

If you believe racism isn't an issue, it is. It's an issue amongst ever generation in every part of the world.

I'm all about social justice - it's something the church is failing in. But church, fail no more, Piper says, "racial reconciliation is NOT a social issue. It's a BLOOD issue. Jesus died for it!" Amen? I think we can look at every social justice 'issue' in this way. Christ died for the unborn who are being targeted by planned parenthood and don't have a voice. Christ died for the birthmom's who believe they do not have a choice. Christ died for the trafficked women. We make it a 'social issue', but the oppressed, the orphan, the poor....these are all people who are near to God's heart. It's not a social issue, it's a blood issue!

If you are asking yourself, 'why don't I care more about this' or 'what is stopping me from being an advocate, an agent?' Piper says, 'there are 9 obstacles on the path to God exalting racial reconciliation: Satan, guilt, pride, hopelessness, feelings of inferiority and self doubt, greed, hate, fear, apathy. Jesus died so that these obstacles would not win in ur life."
{these obstacles apply to speaking Truth on any issue}. Do any of these speak to you?

I really identify with feelings of inferiority and self doubt. Will I say it wrong? Or will the church come after me and rebuke me for 1) being a woman and speaking truth 2) being confrontational 3) being raw? Will I offend somebody, push people away?

"Our sin is DEFEATED! No more living under condemnation! No more cowering, no more exploiting! No manipulating this. WE ARE FORGIVEN!" So, we can move forward in being agents of racial reconciliation through grace!!!!

Piper says, 'No matter how many times I legitimately get criticized or illegitimately get criticized, I'm just going to keep trying." That's an exhortation for you and me.

Amen?!

What Epilepsy has taught me, part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 18:45:00 +0000

Epilepsy is going to be an ongoing lesson for me, no doubt. It's an ongoing lesson for our family, and most of all, for Samuel.

This week is the first week I've really seen Samuel scared with his seizures. We've had a very abnormal week for Samuel. For Samuel, it's been a week of struggling to breathe, stinging eyes, stinging tongue, sore throat, falling down, unstable legs, shaking hands, stomach pains, headaches, dizziness, exhaustion, heavy head, heavy body, drool, inability to communicate, and having to learn in a unusual way at an unusual age that God is bigger and will NEVER leave him or forsake him. This week we have gotten to taste God's faithfulness to our son in a new way. Samuel got to experience it. Samuel got to say, even when I was fatherless, you didn't leave more or forsake me. He got to proclaim, You will be here with me too, even in the night, when I can't speak and nobody knows what I'm experiencing, You are near and YOU know more than any Dr what I'm experiencing.

We now think it started Monday, but we didn't realize it till Wednesday. Samuel was having short clusters of seizures. He wasn't even quite sure what was happening, which is why we didn't know. He had told me on Monday he thought he'd had a seizure, but wasn't sure. On Tues night, he told me he'd been spitting all day when talking (Samuel's seizures effect his mouth and control of saliva, speech, etc because his seizures have mostly been limited to the frontal lobe. On Wednesday, during breakfast, Samuel was in mid-sentence, and blanked on me. Then he went into a seizure I have yet to see from him. I got him to the couch, and it took him awhile to recover. Thirty minutes later, he had another. Then 30 minutes later another. He had 4 seizures from 9am-2pm that were highly visible. But his last seizure being around 10:45, he couldn't walk or talk fully till 2pm. After talking to his neuro, we felt certain he'd had clusters of seizures and some small ones.

Samuel's seizures have always been one time, several months apart....or even years apart. So, groups of seizures like this were definitely new to all of us.

On Thursday, we woke up to Samuel having a seizure. He continued, again, to have clusters of seizures till afternoon. Some were absent seizures, some were effecting other parts of his body (his eyes, legs, arms, hands), and some were the one's we are used to.

And on Friday, Samuel had one seizure that we know of. On Saturday, we didn't see any, and so far, today, we haven't seen any.

Seizures are invasive. There's something about them that are sly, sneaky, aggressive, unwavering, uncompassionate. They are risky and they make everybody around them stop and take note that they are there, tempting you to believe the lies that they are the one's in control. They are similar to the serpent in Eden. They are evil. They give us a peak into the demonic world. And they are here, in my home, in my child's body. I hate them. I do.

BUT God. I can't explain the peace that has covered me during this week of unknowns and seizures. I'm continually learning that seizures are NOT in control. I'm continually learning that life is but a breath, and then we are gone. I'm continually learning that healing is not always better because HIS ways ARE best. I'm continually learning He really is worth trusting. I'm continually learning to be completely in His arms....and epilepsy is worth it.

Bitterness

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 17:43:00 +0000

Do you struggle with bitterness? Even if it's here and there or everyday? This 5 minutes of Gospel pointed toward bitterness might be a gift of freedom for your soul!

It's minutes 40:35 to 45:40

Ben Breedlove

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 18:40:00 +0000

If you haven't watched his youtube video, you should. It's an incredible story. I just learned last night that Ben and his family were visiting our church. His family didn't know he made this video until after he passed away on Christmas day from a sudden heart attack. Please watch and stand amazed at how AMAZING our God is!

The real battle against slavery in U.S.

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 18:08:00 +0000

This article drew me to tears. Don't be blind friends. There's a lot of Keisha's out there, and I'm broken again for them this morning. This is so real. We've been reading the advent book, Tabitha's Travels. Decha of Megiddo is a 'Sir Charles'. My kids, yesterday, were asking significant questions about Decha. They are more aware today of the issue of modern day slavery than ever. Keziah was tear filled and Samuel was angry. Rightfully so. Samuel said, 'when I get bigger, I'm going to go searching for all the slave masters in the world!'. So, we got to talk about International Justice Mission! :) Let's raise up a generation of justice driven kiddos....it's God's heart....not a choice.

Apple Pie and Satisfied in God

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 18:01:00 +0000

Apple Pie and Satisfied in God, join Noel and Talitha as they share how the Piper's came to understand Christian Hedonism.

It took 20 years!!

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 23:52:00 +0000

Can you imagine the emotion of holding God’s Word for the first time after 20 years of waiting?

The Tuvin Bible was published and distributed in 2011, a project taking 20 long years to accomplish. One woman just could not put it down. Within a week she had highlighted verses and scribbled notes in the margin from cover to cover. Joy fills the hearts of many Tuvin people this Christmas in a new way." Thank you, My Father's World for serving to get the Bible translated in every language!!!

My Father's World is involved in Bible translation, and I'm so happy to share this news. What an amazing Christmas present to the Tuvin people AND us!!!!

We are one people group closer to Jesus coming back!!!! Matthew 24:14 "And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come."

Google joins fight against modern day slavery!

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 17:43:00 +0000

‎"With this grant, Google is helping us combine forces to not only increase the number of Americans who will learn about human trafficking, but also motivate people to take real steps to eradicate modern-day slavery from all of our communities,"

I'm pretty happy to share this about Google. I went from not having an opinion about Google to having GREAT respect for Google. Thank you, Google, for investing in the mission to eradicate modern day slavery!!!!

Ekisa: 12K days of Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 17:31:00 +0000

Friends, I can't say enough wonderful things about Ekisa and the amazing ladies behind this ministry! Let's help them reach their goal of 12k in 12 days!!!! If you don't know about Ekisa, you will want to.....trust me. They are 'bringing Christ to the {orphaned, disabled, ignored} least of these'. A beautiful ministry with beautiful hearts, and absolutely gorgeous children.

We are in our new house.....

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 05:09:00 +0000

We've moved, friends (and we are mostly still sane!). I can't tell you the GRACE that has abounded over the last month!

I have to share just because I want to boast in HIS goodness!

We went to AZ for T4A - drove, and the trip was great! My mom and another friend, Amy, tagged along. Our kids may have drove them crazy once or twice. It was a great trip. We got to see the grand canyon!! The kids watched Piper's video on how we don't go to the Grand Canyon to make much of ourselves before we went, and the whole time they kept saying 'this makes me feel so small and God is SO much bigger' ;).

We got back from AZ late Monday night. All day Tues, mom and I gathered boxes from around town and packed! We closed on the house that Friday, I think. A couple of days later, I realized the pain in my back had probably gone on too long (when I started feeling a bit flu like)...kidney infection. I went to urgent care and got on antibiotics that night. The next day Jason's parents came into town for their yearly visit. They were super helpful in packing, painting, and moving! Plus, them being here allowed for us to get some rest time out on the town too! We love taking them to some of our favorite places when they come!! (THANK YOU, Steve and Linda, for all your help!!!!). I'm pretty sure we exhausted them! At some point during their visit, Keziah started complaining of her ear hurting. I looked, and I'll spare you the gross details, but there were evidences of her possibly having a recurrence of a tumor she had when she was 2. I was nervous, but at the same time, the Lord gave me SO much peace as we made doctors appts and visits and waited, etc. It was all HIM. He was SO evident. Keziah was so trusting of the Lord during it all as well. Through a series of events and her ear worsening over a couple of days, we ended up at the ENT, and she was put on meds and a waiting period for cultures.

We moved in Wednesday, and Thursday my in-laws headed out....and so did my husband!!! To say I was nervous about our weekend, would be an understatement! We were literally covered in boxes, our fridge was broken, and we didn't have gas. No gas meant no heat, no stove, and no hot water. I had never grocery shopped under such circumstances. It was an interesting challenge to prepare for a weekend alone with our kids in those circumstances. BUT the Lord totally provided, and we (I) didn't have any breakdowns until the next morning when I woke up to my husband, and I cried with relief that he was home and Sunday was 1 day away from Monday - gas day.

Sunday, Micah fell down the stairs (we only have 1 set of stairs in our home, and they are to our master bedroom) and punctured the back of his head. A bloody, heart pounding mess.

On Monday we finally got a phone call from the ENT to give us a clear diagnosis. It ended up being strep in her ear! Ever been excited about strep? WE WERE!!! ; ) Thank you, LORD!!!!!

At this point, my kidney infection was making my sleep and unpacking rough. But one more day of that, and healing was on its way!! ;)

Then....pin worms! One of our kids got pin worms!!!! Can you believe it? Ha. We were completely grossed out - completely. So, got meds and treated the whole family. I didn't sleep a wink that night due to the thought of pin worms in my house, in my kid.....blech! But at some point, you have to laugh, right?!

So, pin worms taken care of. And we still have no fridge! We've been in the house 6 days and no fridge, one of our friends from our community group had one to GIVE TO US on Wednesday morning!!!! He gave us a fridge!!!!! Our whole family was stoked!!!!! I couldn't wait to get some veggies in that thing! ; )

Wednesday night, Keziah had red bumps all over her body. Initially, when I saw it, I thought chicken pox. Again. Really? All I could do was laugh, and hold on tight because if it was pox, it was going to be a wild ride for our family!!!

The next morning, my wise sister called me after seeing a pic of Keziah's stomach, and told me that she felt it might be an allergic reaction to the ear medication. So, I called her ENT, and sure enough, she was having a SEVERE allergic reaction that only got worse and worse. 103 temp and red rash all over sweet girls body. She was miserable :( The Dr was SO great. He called us 3 times in an hour and gave us his cell number for over night. He was a bit concerned too! Thank you, LORD, we did not need the cell number. He fever broke, and she didn't develop any blisters!!! What a relief!

Whew! ;)

I haven't mentioned any of the crazy things that have happened with the house, have I? Haha. A door fell off the hinges...just fell off! :) Does that happen?? Our railing to our stairs fell off....just fell off. Does that happen?? : ) Lol. And our master shower didn't have hot water. Weird. Oh, and our closet shelf fell out of the wall. Hilarious....really.....it has to be, right?!

It's been a ride! BUT WE ARE SOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED TO BE HERE! All of those things have not distracted us from the call to where we are and the joy that we have in being where we are. We are FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!

In all of this I have to say THANKS:
Samuel hasn't had a seizure. He might tomorrow, but he hasn't in this chaos!
Jason and I have been having fun and it hasn't been stressful on our marriage!
Our kids are thriving and haven't even seemed to notice the challenges!
2 sweet friends brought meals (HUGE!!)
We didn't think we were going to have help moving or painting, and the Lord brought an abundance of help!!!

Buy a wreath, help an adoption!

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 04:26:00 +0000

Our friends, the Leach's are fundraising for their adoption!! You can buy a wreath and 25% goes to their adoption! Make your decorating count!!!

From Katie,

If you buy fresh Christmas wreaths, garlands, etc., consider supporting our adoption too! The prices are reasonable, free shipping (within U.S.), and we receive 25% of every sale towards our adoption! You can start ordering today for yourself or a friend...ship to multiple addresses for free in the same order! This URL http://www.lynchcreekwreaths.com/?afid=704643266 should take you to our account, but to make sure, go to the top right and click "Support a Fundraiser" and type in our code: 43266, You should then see you are supporting "Leach Family Adoption"

Can't afford to be color blind

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 04:44:00 +0000

Can't Afford to Be Color Blind from The Gospel Coalition on Vimeo.

Painting or watching kids? help pls!

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 23:26:00 +0000

Anybody in our home town up for painting or helping watch kids Friday or Sat? Or anybody available to help move next week?

"It takes a village" AMEN!

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 03:21:00 +0000

Jen Hatmaker just posted on how adoption 'takes a village'.

I particularly liked her 'after the airport' tips, so I wanted to share them here. My thoughts are after the // and in bold.

(Note: I personally do not think airport celebrations are helpful to our adopted kids. They are incredibly overwhelmed, and we want to keep those neurotransmitters safe and sound by keeping the stress as low as possible!)

You went to the airport. The baby came down the escalator to cheers and balloons. The long adoption journey is over and your friends are home with their new baby / toddler / twins / siblings / teenager. Everyone is happy. Maybe Fox News even came out and filmed the big moment and “your friend” babbled like an idiot and didn’t say one constructive word about adoption and also she looked really sweaty during her interview. (Really? That happened to me too. Weird.)

How can you help? By not saying or doing these things:

1. I mean this nicely, but don’t come over for awhile. Most of us are going to hole up in our homes with our little tribe and attempt to create a stable routine without a lot of moving parts. This is not because we hate you; it’s because we are trying to establish the concept of “home” with our newbies, and lots of strangers coming and going makes them super nervous and unsure, especially strangers who are talking crazy language to them and trying to touch their hair.//This is why I think the airport celebration is too much for them. Wait a season...until our kids are good and 'settled' like our dear friends the Youngs, and then have a HUGE celebration for their homecoming!! This is also why I would not recommend immediatlely sending our adopted kiddos to school. They need to bond at home. They need that time to become a family unit and learn the surroundings of their new life (keeping those neurotransmitters as calm as possible).

2. Please do not touch, hug, kiss, or use physical affection with our kids for a few months. We absolutely know your intentions are good, but attachment is super tricky with abandoned kids, and they have had many caregivers, so when multiple adults (including extended family) continue to touch and hold them in their new environment, they become confused about who to bond with. This actually delays healthy attachment egregiously. It also teaches them that any adult or stranger can touch them without their permission, and believe me, many adoptive families are working HARD to undo the damage already done by this position. Thank you so much for respecting these physical boundaries.// This is very good advice, and another reason I would not recommend newly adopted children going to school immediately. Take time off and bond. Kary Purvis says for ever year a child was in the orphanage, give them a month to be in reaching distance of their parents. Jeremiah was in the orphanage for 3 months, and we kept him cocooned for 2 months. For 6 months, we still didn't let people hold him or be his primary care. Bonding is the most important thing you can do when you come home.

3. For the next few months, do not assume the transition is easy. For 95% of us, it so is not. And this isn’t because our family is dysfunctional or our kids are lemons, but because this phase is so very hard on everyone. I can’t tell you how difficult it was to constantly hear: “You must be so happy!” and “Is life just so awesome now that they’re here??” and “Your family seems just perfect now!” I wanted that to be true so deeply, but I had no idea how to tell you that our home was actually a Trauma Center. (I did this in a passive aggressive way by writing this blog, which was more like “An Open Letter to Everyone Who Knows Us and Keeps Asking Us How Happy We Are.”) Starting with the right posture with your friends – this is hard right now – will totally help you become a safe friend to confide in / break down in front of / draw strength from.// This is usually true. This is probably moreso true for internationally adopted kiddos. With our domestic adoptions, we personally didn't experience this. However, with Jeremiah....trauma center is a great description as to what our home was like. A little inside snapshot during our homecoming: kids who were home before adoption are SO happy to see us, yet feeling disconnected because we had been away - they are in need of lots of attention and one on one time/eye to eye time. Jeremiah is terrified of everything that comes within a foot of him. So, make that work? Mommy wears Jeremiah, but he screams and vomits every time other kids come within a foot of him. It was exhausting. Jeremiah takes TWO months before he'll set skin on the floor of our house (he only felt safe on mommy's back). On mommy's back, he was gold. Vomiting, diarrhea, and a whole sanitary station (that looks like a hospital changing station) in our bedroom. No children allowed in our bedroom to keep them from 'accidentally' touching something that would pass on giardia or Hep A. Blowouts....no, you don't know what I mean when I say blowout. BLOWOUTS - pj's FULL of liquid poop - every single morning for 2 months. Jeremiah vomiting his food, Micah coming behind and eating his vomit. Going to the dr with bm samples over and over. bleach. lots of bleach. Washing laundry multiple times a day. Survival friends. Survival.

4. Do not act shocked if we tell you how hard the early stages are. Do not assume adoption was a mistake. Do not worry we have ruined our lives. Do not talk behind our backs about how terribly we’re doing and how you’re worried that we are suicidal. Do not ask thinly veiled questions implying that we are obviously doing something very, very wrong. Do not say things like, “I was so afraid it was going to be like this” or “Our other friends didn’t seem to have these issues at all.” Just let us struggle. Be our friends in the mess of it. We’ll get better.// Yes.

5. If we’ve adopted older kids, please do not ask them if they “love America so much” or are “so happy to live in Texas.” It’s this simple: adoption is born from horrible loss. In an ideal world, there would be no adoption, because our children would be with their birth families, the way God intended. I’ll not win any points here, but I bristle when people say, “Our adopted child was chosen for us by God before the beginning of time.” No he wasn’t. He was destined for his birth family. God did not create these kids to belong to us. He didn’t decide that they should be born into poverty or disease or abandonment or abuse and despair aaaaaaaall so they could finally make it into our homes, where God intended them to be. No. We are a very distant Plan B. Children are meant for their birth families, same as my biological kids were meant for mine. Adoption is one possible answer to a very real tragedy… after it has already happened, not before as the impetus for abandonment. There is genuine grief and sorrow when your biological family is disrupted by death and poverty, and our kids have endured all this and more. So when you ask my 8-year-old if he is thrilled to be in Texas, please understand that he is not. He misses his country, his language, his food, his family. Our kids came to us in the throes of grief, as well they should. Please don’t make them smile and lie to you about how happy they are to be here.// I agree with some of this. However, I absolutely believe that our kids were ordained for our family. If they weren't, then that would mean God made a mistake. He doesn't make mistakes. I believe our adopted kids were ordained before there was time to be in our family. Adoption is absolutely the result of a broken world. But if we believe that God didn't ordain our kids for our family, then we don't believe God is 100% sovereign.

6. Please do not disappear. If I thought the waiting stage was hard, it does not even hold the barest candle to what comes after the airport. Not. The. Barest. Candle. Never have I felt so isolated and petrified. Never have I been so overwhelmed and exhausted. We need you after the airport way more than we ever needed you before. I know you’re scared of us, what with our dirty hair and wild eyes and mystery children we’re keeping behind closed doors so they don’t freak out more than they already have, but please find ways to stick around. Call. Email. Check in. Post on our Facebook walls. Send us funny cards. Keep this behavior up for longer than six days.// AMEN!!!!!! Thank you, friends, who never left us!!!

Here’s what we would love to hear or experience After the Airport:

1. Cook for your friends. Put together a meal calendar and recruit every person who even remotely cares about them. We didn’t cook dinners for one solid month, and folks, that may have single handedly saved my sanity. There simply are not words to describe how exhausting and overwhelming those first few weeks are, not to mention the lovely jetlag everyone came home with. And if your friends adopted domestically right up the street, this is all still true, minus the jetlag.// YES! And it allows us to focus on becoming a family w/o thinking through food! Leave it on the front door with a note that we can read to the family ;) And do what my sweet Gisele did, grocery shop for the essentials (toilet paper, cereal, milk, etc), and leave it on the doorstep. Text and tell her the cost, and she can leave a check on the doorstep for you. Awwwww...amazing blessing for us!

2. If we have them, offer to take our biological kids for an adventure or sleepover. Please believe me: their lives just got WHACKED OUT, and they need a break, but their parents can’t give them one because they are 1.) cleaning up pee and poop all day, 2.) holding screaming children, 3.) spending all their time at doctors’ offices, and 4.) falling asleep in their clothes at 8:15pm. Plus, they are in lockdown mode with the recently adopted, trying to shield them from the trauma that is Walmart.// I hadn't thought about our other kids leaving during that time. I don't think I would have liked that (maybe because our kids were so little?), but the rest is absolutely true. But asking and being available NEVER hurts!! ;)

3. Thank you for getting excited with us over our little victories. I realize it sounds like a very small deal when we tell you our kindergartener is now staying in the same room as the dog, but if you could’ve seen the epic level of freakoutedness this dog caused her for three weeks, you would understand that this is really something. When you encourage us over our incremental progress, it helps. You remind us that we ARE moving forward and these little moments are worth celebrating. If we come to you spazzing out, please remind us where we were a month ago. Force us to acknowledge their gains. Be a cheerleader for the healing process.// This is huge. I would post victories on fb. It was a HUGE victory the first time Jeremiah spent 2 minutes in the floor w/ his siblings in my lap! We celebrated with dancing, people!!! It was HUGE. Then 5 min without even looking for mommy! I made it to the kitchen while he was in the living room on the floor playing with his toys with his siblings. AWESOMENESS!!! Then the day he sat in his exersaucer for 2 minutes!! Everybodies victories are different, but they are VICTORIES!!!

4. Come over one night after our kids are asleep and sit with us on our porch. Let me tell you: we are all lonely in those early weeks. We are home, home, home, home, home. Good-bye, date nights. Good-bye, GNO’s. Good-bye, spontaneous anything. Good-bye, church. Good-bye, big public outings. Good-bye, community group. Good-bye, nightlife. So please bring some community to our doorstep. Bring friendship back into our lives. Bring adult conversation and laughter. And bring an expensive bottle of wine.// O man. What a fabulous, fabulous idea. We didn't do this, but we should have!! I think because we were asleep at 8:15 (see above comment) due to exhaustion. But a fabulous idea. Brilliant.

5. If the shoe fits, tell adopting families how their story is affecting yours. If God has moved in you over the course of our adoption, whether before the airport or after, if you’ve made a change or a decision, if somewhere deep inside a fire was lit, tell us, because it is spiritual water on dry souls. There is nothing more encouraging than finding out God is using our families for greater kingdom work, beautiful things we would never know or see. We gather the holy moments in our hands every day, praying for eyes to see God’s presence, his purposes realized in our story. When you put more holy moments in our hands to meditate on, we are drawn deeper into the Jesus who led us here.//Yes. It's always SO encouraging and gives us strength to press on!!!

Here’s one last thing: As you watch us struggle and celebrate and cry and flail, we also want you to know that adoption is beautiful, and a thousand times we’ve looked at each other and said, “What if we would’ve said no?” God invited us into something monumental and lovely, and we would’ve missed endless moments of glory had we walked away. We need you during these difficult months of waiting and transitioning, but we also hope you see that we serve a faithful God who heals and actually sets the lonely in families, just like He said He would. And even through the tears and tantrums (ours), we look at our children and marvel that God counted us worthy to raise them. We are humbled. We’ve been gifted with a very holy task, and when you help us rise to the occasion, you have an inheritance in their story; your name will be counted in their legacy.// AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!

Thank you for being the village. You are so important.

Interview with Katie Davis

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 17:12:00 +0000

This is a precious interview with Katie Davis. My personal favorite is the last question, her typical day with her kids. I LOVE that her home is open at all times, and that people know that she will bandage a wound or feed a hungry soul or provide a place to sleep. I love that she has quarters in the back of her house for homeless or boys, etc. I LOVE that her kids know that mommy might need to stop school and help somebody and they continue their school work. I LOVE that her kids bring Muslims home to teach them about Jesus. I love it. I love it because it reminds me of Jesus - it's not cliche. It's real. The people flocked to him for healing, for food, for love. People flock to Katie and her home because Jesus is there. May we all learn from Katie that our homes and families CAN be Jesus to others.

http://vimeo.com/30098108

What Epilepsy has taught me

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 03:26:00 +0000

Epilepsy. It's not what we signed up for when we said YES to adoption. There are little check boxes that you check the things you are 'open' to that make me CRINGE...cringe, I tell you. I know it's necessary, but it nauseates me. Really. I feel sweaty and can hear every noise in the room as I try to make my ears open wider that they might hear His voice. How can we say no to any of the boxes?

I don't recall if epilepsy was on the application over 7 yrs ago when we filled it out, but I can tell you the thought of it would have scared me! My only association with epilepsy was from the show Diff'rent Strokes. Do you remember the episode (you would have to be my age or older most likely!!) where Arnold is in the park watching the mime clown do tricks? She falls, and starts seizing. Arnold was super freaked out by it, and I was too. It's one of the only episodes I remember, and it was my least favorite one (I was an avid fan in my elementary age yrs...strange, I know. When my husband was watching Duck Tales, I was watching Diff'rent Strokes! I had 2 much older sisters, what can I say?).

So, my association with Epilepsy was one of fear and being freaked out.

Samuel's first seizure, I freaked out. It was horrific. His 2nd, 3rd, and 4th seizure, I freaked out. I was not getting used to the idea of having a son with seizures. It was wrong and not what we 'signed up for'. I wanted to do anything that would 'make it right'.

His seizures became consistent, so we opted for medication. They were controlled for TWO yrs. TWO yrs. Then, while I was in Uganda, he had his first seizure after being on medication. I freaked out (and I didn't even see it). The thought of him having a seizure was horrific and that I wasn't there to comfort him made me question what we were doing in UG in the first place (because I was freaked out ;)...not because I really doubted we were supposed to be there).

That seizure was the first of many more. Even on meds and too many increases of dosages to count, Samuel's seizures continue to plague his failing body. But...I don't *freak* out anymore.

Why?

It's not because I've gotten used to them. They will never become 'normal' for us - they aren't 'normal', and it's not who he is for eternity. It's completely earthly and of fallen nature.

Hoever, over a year ago..I don't remember when exactly, I felt the Lord ask me if I was going to trust Him with Samuel. A bit shocked (of course I trust Him with Samuel!) :), I thought back over the year Samuel had seizures, and the 2 years he didn't, and when he started having seizures again. The 2 years he didn't, I believed I was trusting the Lord, but that's because I really believed he was healed. I believed we were going to ween him from his meds at the 2 yr appointment, and he was going to be seizure free. Epilepsy (or that weird seizure season) was going to be a part of his history. It was going to be a tiny part of his story, and a tiny part of our family story.

But I was wrong that he was healed. We never got to ween him. And last year, by His grace, I saw that I wasn't trusting the Lord with the precious 'prayed for' gift HE had given us.

I considered the way Samuel responds when he has seizures. In his seizing, he has mostly always been able to communicate with us (only a couple of grand mal seizures where he could not at all). He's awake, he can somewhat talk, he is able to respond, he can kind of walk (though we don't encourage it!). Samuel is very aware during his seizures, and he can tell me when he's having one. He talks as if he's had a stroke, and he drools. His legs get shaky. He gets a headache. Then a stomachache. It happens in that order, and after about an hour, he pops off the couch like somebody put a jumping bean in his pants, and it's done. Just.like.that.

Samuel doesn't get scared, he doesn't cry, he doesn't do any of the things I've done over the years!

He's matter of fact, focused, calm, patient, TRUSTING. So, when I felt the Lord working in my heart, I asked Samuel, 'Samuel, when you have seizures, how do you feel? Do you feel scared?'. 'No, I just don't like them, but I'm not scared. I know God is with me.' Exhale. Weight falling off shoulders. God is with us.

The Lord started working in my heart then about trusting Him with Samuel's life and believing that God can heal him (and praying for that with perseverance and faith), but also believing that the Lord could use this very thing in Samuel's relationship with the Lord, and possibly how the Lord may use him one day.

My outlook on epilepsy has gradually changed. My outlook on adoption has certainly changed.

With epilepsy, I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I pray, I beg God's mercy on Samuel's life. And I trust Him that He has given us epilepsy as a GIFT. Epilepsy is costly (meds, MRI's, neurologists, EEG's, etc). Epilepsy is still painful to watch, though much more peaceful. Epilepsy is not eternal. Epilepsy is God's way of bringing Himself glory in Samuel's life and our family over the last 7 yrs and however many more to come. Whether He heals Samuel completely here on earth or Samuel has unreasonable seizures for the rest of his life, God's name be praised!

And, finally, epilepsy IS what we signed up for.

When we adopted, we said yes to all of our son. We didn't say yes just to the parts we expected. We said yes to all of him and all he brings to our family. The part of adoption we didn't expect, were the costs under the skin. We thought race was going to be our biggest challenge - we were prepared for those costs (as much as we could be). We were prepared to make the 'sacrifices' (I would call them privileges) of raising black children. But we weren't prepared for the undefined, untold, unknown challenges that lay beneath the skin. If we didn't check the box, then we didn't have to 'worry'.

BUT GOD....but God had other plans. And I'm so thankful He did. His choice for us and for Samuel IS just right.

Counting the costs of adoption

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 18:07:00 +0000

We just listened to This American Life, unconditional love. It's a great mini Karyn purvis intro (tho it's not her). But it'll wet your appetite to learn more about her research or give you a crash refresher!

My sincere apologies

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 16:49:00 +0000

I wrote a blog post the other day leading you to read another blog on women's ministry that I deleted the same day. Evidently, in my desire to be candid, I pushed people away and offended others. I'm deeply sorry. It's embarrassing that the very thing I want, community, is the very thing that, in my candidness, I push away. That wasn't my desire at all. I wasn't referring to any particular person or ministry or group of people or church. I was referring to my experiences over the years. Nonetheless, it was hurtful, and I'm asking for forgiveness to all who were pushed away, hurt, offended.

I have intentionally been quiet on here for quite some time to avoid the risk of being offensive OR to just not edify. I say that to try to help you understand, that was not my goal. I definitely don't want to hurt others or push people away...ever. I do it, and it happens, but it's not my desire.

Please forgive me?

The Heart Gallery of Central Texas

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 22:12:00 +0000

Jason and I had the privilege of going to the unveiling of the Heart Gallery of Central Texas Wed night. I have no idea what I expected, but it far exceeded my expectations.

I walked in, and immediately, all these beautiful faces on canvas were staring back at me with hope and joy and expectation. Whew. That alone was more than I expected.

I walked around the room, looking at these faces, one.by.one. Their names, their ages, their smiles, and I couldn't help but ask the Lord to free them from being an orphan, asking Him, TONIGHT, Lord, connect them with their forever family.

I kept walking, I kept praying, and I kept seeing the same thing - beautiful, expectant kiddos. Lord, spare them from being a statistic, have mercy!!!

After the greeting and some honoring of photographers who volunteer their time to take pictures of these kids all over TX, they played a video. I could barely stand watching. I looked at Jason at one point, and said 'I can't handle watching this'. I felt like I couldn't. I might have held my breath through most of it, wondering if I breathed, if I'd fully lose control and *sob*.

The first boy shared a cross that he'd made out of scraps, it read "I love Jesus". His favorite books were Narnia, and his favorite movie, Toy Story. 15 yrs old, he's been in foster care, moving from home to home, for TEN years. TEN.

Another 15 yr old boy, his school teachers favorite, had a favorite stuffed animal and a piggy bank he was showing off. He was shy, but funny. He's been in care for 7.

The stories go on. They are gripping, they are wrong. It's wrong that these kids don't have families. It's wrong that each year they get closer and closer to 'aging out'. It's wrong that they are getting closer and closer to becoming a statistic.

I'm so thankful that JESUS is RIGHT, His ways PERFECT. I really don't think I could do orphan care or adoption or care for the oppressed without knowing Jesus as Lord - someone who really is able to bring hope and healing to all. One who knows their story fully and can bring complete healing. One who cares for the orphan, the widow, the oppressed more than I dare. One who can meet them right now, where they are, and satisfy every longing of their heart. Thank you, Jesus.

I encourage you to find the heart gallery in your area and pray for these kids. We got the booklet with all the pictures of the kiddos. During our reading and prayer each day, we'll pray over one of these kiddos with our kids. You can also sign up for the heart gallery to be shown in your church or other places in the city, so that people have the opportunity to see these kids and come face to face with orphans in their own city.

I have hope that, in our prayers, He will hear our cries and meet these kiddos where they are because HE is the father to fatherless.

Running to you, Jesus, because you alone can save. Thank you, Father, for the hope we have in you!

Moses, a very special little boy

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 22:11:00 +0000

Little Moses is in Haiti, and he needs a forever family!! You can read more on the Livesay's blog! Pray, and consider, if you might be his forever family! If you aren't, please join the Livesay's (and us now) in praying for his forever family!

Someone out there reading this will become Mommy and Daddy to a very special little boy.

Wherever you are, whoever you are, I want you to know that we’ve been praying for you.

We’re praying for your clear discernment to move forward. We’re praying for your courage. We’re praying for your strength and endurance. We are praying for financial provision. We’re praying your son will be with you soon. We’re praying God gives you everything you need to be parents to this wonderful and deserving little guy.

We won’t stop praying.

Our goal with this blog entry is to have one post with all of the information that is currently available about sweet Moses. We’re asking you to share this on adoption groups, Facebook, blogs, Twitter and anywhere you think that potential adoptive parents might be reading.

25 simple ways to be missional in your hood!

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 18:40:00 +0000

I love this because it's practical!!

One of the things we have found to be super helpful is playing in the front yard and walking our dog! Both have gained us lots of interactions with our neighbors. I hope when we move, this list of 25 will really help us to build relationships with our neighbors quicker!!!

Before we moved to Austin and I hit an all time LOW, we used to spend the wk of Christmas making Christmas cookies for our neighbors as well. We'd take them our Christmas letter, our Christmas picture, and a box of cookies! It really did help connect us too, and our kids LOVED it.

Got any to add to the list?

Choosing to See

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 02:39:00 +0000

I've been reading Mary Beth Chapman's Choosing to See. It's something I started over a year ago, but couldn't read it at the time...my heart was in a very dark place, and reading Mary Beth's story was overwhelming for me, taking me deeper into that dark place carrying her pain along with my own. But I knew I had to read it because 1) I remember exactly where I was when Jason got the email from a dear friend of ours and friend of the Chapman's that Maria had passed away 2)My kids and I have been very influenced by their story - we have prayed for them many, many times, and Maria's story is still very fresh in their hearts. 3)Jason was at The Summit when they were there (over a year ago), and heard Mary Beth speak. He texted me "I wish you were here. This is so good. You would love MB."

He brought me home the book and SCC's new CD from that conference.

I finally felt the emotionally ability to crack the book again about 1 wk ago. I'm almost done. I can say that MB and I are very similar creatures...and our husbands, possibly twins separated at birth? ; ) J/K. Jason isn't a celebrity, but he's still a rock star in our home ; )

MB says she is the most unlikely candidate to be a celebrity wife, and I can vouch I'm the most unlikely candidate for a pastors wife. That has been more than proven over the past 18 months. And I think I'm finally ok with that...I think.

Every person needs hope planted at the bottom of their hole

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 16:51:00 +0000

Ann's blog post today is powerful for me. I hope it is for you too.

Though the last 18 months of waiting (waiting on God) have been dark, hence much of the silence on this blog (I didn't want to drag you into the dark, messinness of my untrusting, bitter, sometimes plain angry heart).

Because.

I really want to leave you with hope here because "every person needs hope planted at the bottom of their hole".

"We lay our hope, full and tender, into the depths of Him and wait in hope for God to resurrect something good. Good always necessitate long waiting." Ann Voskamp

Missional Living, The Gospel, and Orphan Care

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 15:15:00 +0000

Any of those strike a cord you are passionate about? Then YOU should sign up for this years Together for Adoption conference!!!!

What is Together for Adoption all about?

noreply@blogger.com (Spirit of Adoption) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 15:00:00 +0000

You might assume Together for Adoption is just about wanting to adopt and then perhaps write off the conference as a conference for YOU. But, you might be missing out if you do that. ;) Read more on if Together for Adoption is the right conference for you here.