SpicyBugz World

Change of Heart! I WON!

Spicybugz — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:37:55 +0000

My Candy Girl

Today has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I didn’t go to bed until almost 5 am. I was so sad and crying and just depressed. Mini bug is still not feeling well, and I was taking care of her most of the night also.

Mini Bug came and woke me up this morning, with her usual, good morning mommy, shaking my head wake up. I got out of bed, and I noticed immediately that it was only me and Mini Bug home. My heart sank. I knew my husband has left with Candy Girl and Mighty Bug. I went outside, lit a cigarette and just cried. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I really really haven’t cried that hard in many years.

About an hour later, my husband came home. I watched him come in with the baby. I just looked at him. He looked at me. I said, so Candy is gone? He said, no bug, she is right here, and in came Candy Girl. Then I noticed that my husbands eyes, looked a slightly bit swollen. The first thing I did was hug him and said Thank you…the next thing I asked was what happened. He said, he went to the peoples home, and sat in the car on the road just looking at the neighborhood. He said he didn’t like it. Didn’t have a good feeling. Then he said he got out of the car, and Candy, who usually jumps out of the car as soon as the door is opened, didn’t, she ran to the very back of the car, on the rear dash and tried to hide up there. That’s when he knew…no. He got back in the car and drove back home. I get to keep my dog. I am so happy and so whewwwwww relieved. But I had taken several Valium at 5 am so that I could force myself to sleep, that I have been in a bit of a fog all day. I am so happy that he couldn’t do it. I am so happy that for whatever reason….something touched his heart and changed his mind. I will make more of an effort to play with Candy girl more often. But really, it’s not like she is ignored…the kids play with her all the time. Mini Bug adores her…and they chase each other all over the house all day long sometimes. Mighty bug laughs at her, he isn’t sure what she is, but Candy makes him laugh.
When my husband said that I don’t have time for her anymore, he told me today, that he meant that I don’t have time to let her out to pee. Which is true, sometimes I forget, because I am so busy with kids and daily living, that I sometimes forget to let the dog out. When I got Candy, she only 3 pounds and it was in the winter. She was way to young and little to go outside in the snow and cold. So I trained her on pee pee pads. She was very good about it. Then when spring came, I moved the pee pee pad outside, and she learned to go outside. Now…because I forget to pay attention to her, she pees on the throw rugs in the bathroom, because in her doggy mind…they are pee pee pads. I don’t mind picking up the throw rug and washing it, but my husband hates it. So, if I want to keep Candy, I have to stop her from doing that and pay attention and let her out to pee. I told my husband it would be nice to have a doggy door on the bathroom door that leads outside. He agreed…but said the kids are still so little that they could go out it also. So, to retrain myself, to remember about Candy, I think I will go buy one of those kitchen timer thingy things…and keep setting it to go off every hour, to remind myself to let Candy out. I want to keep my dog!!!

He also mentioned that he would like me to look into some orlando vacations package deals. He said instead of going to the beach this Christmas, maybe it would be nice to take the kids to Disney. I don’t want to go to Disney, I want to go to the beach…but now is not the time, to argue. I won today. I will hold my tongue for a bit

Saying Goodbye To Candy Girl

Spicybugz — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 06:54:01 +0000

My husband has decided that Candy Girl needs a new family. He has made the decision, that because of the kids we now have, we don’t have the time to take care of her the way she should be taken care of. She has been sort of put on the back burner. He found a new home for her, and will be taking her there today. He will have the new owners write up a paper stating that if they decide for whatever reason that they no longer want her, she is to be returned to us. He is also making them agree that we have the right to visit her from time to time, to make sure she is ok and being taken care of.

This is breaking my heart every which way a heart can be broken. She is MY Candy Girl. She was only 3 pounds when my husband brought her home to me as a gift. She had me at hello…I took on look at her and my heart melted. She has been my Candy Girl for the past 4 yrs. She was here before the kids. So ungodly not fair. I do not agree with this decision at all…not one little bit. Maybe I am selfish…I don’t care. He is right, I don’t spend the time with her like I used to…but that doesn’t mean I love her less. Since the kids came, they take all my time. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love my pet. She lays at my feet when I am sitting and keeps my toes warm when I am on the computer. She is my shadow when I am walking around the house doing things, so much so, that sometimes I almost trip over her. She has been my constant companion for the past 4 years. She loves me all the time. She never yells at me or ignores me…her love is unconditional. I am going to miss my dog so very very much.

I did talk to the woman who is going to be her new owner. She appears to be a very nice woman. It is just her and her husband. Her daughter and 3 yr old grandchild used to live with them, and has now moved away. The woman wants my dog to love she says, to fill the void that is now in her life. Oh I pray she treats my dog with pure love.

Goodbye Candy Girl….I will never ever forget you. Nor will I ever own another pet for as long as I live, because this just hurts tooo damn much. I wonder if I will ever stop crying. Sure doesn’t feel that way right now.

My Little Princess

Spicybugz — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 03:36:20 +0000

So, Saturday we spent the day at my parents for Halloween and trick or treating. Mini Bug was thrilled, and kept saying, I am a beautiful princess, which indeed she truly was. Mighty Bug hated everything. Hated the costume, hated trick or treating, the kid even hates candy…can ya believe it.

I sat outside with my mom while the guys took the kids around the block. It was so hot and humid, it was really only around the block they went. Which is ok, the kids don’t need that much candy at all, and Mini Bug had fun dressing up and pretending she was a princess.

We got Mightybug a new 32 inch plasma hd tv for his bedroom tonight, we were talking about looking at tv stands but then decided to go with a wall mount, like Mini Bugz, room, because we are afraid he would pull the tv down on himself or climb up on the tv stand.

MM The Moody Blues-Nights in White Satin/Late Lament

Spicybugz — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 23:31:59 +0000

Just what I’m going thru, they can’t understand.

Breathe deep the gathering gloom
Watch lights fade from every room
Bedsitter people look back and lament
Another day’s useless energy spent.
Impassioned lovers wrestle as one,
Lonely man cries for love and has none.
New mother picks up and suckles her son,
Senior citizens wish they were young.
Cold hearted orb that rules the night,
Removes the colors from our sight.
Red is grey and yellow white,
But we decide which is right.
And which is an illusion?

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Heart Warming Story-Kids Are So Sweet

Spicybugz — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 04:13:35 +0000

Here’s a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 4-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe
that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a Construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family’s 4-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them “gems-in-the-rough,” more or less, adopted her as a kind of project m ascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her 20 little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who
suggested that she take her ten dollars “pay” she’d received to the bank the next day to start a savings account..

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied,
“I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.”

“Oh my goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”

The little girl replied, “I will, if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fuckin’ sheet rock…”

Kind of brings a tear to the eye – doesn’t it?

(I did some research and this appears to come from ~(In a Sunburned Country By Bill Bryson), although the wording has changed a bit. I got this in an email and thought it was cute and wanted to share it.

Amazing what kids learn when we think they are not paying attention huh.

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Sandee at ComedyPlus won 1,000 EC Credits, for being my top commenter in October. Thank you Sandee for always being a loyal reader and commenter. You rock!

Trick or Treat Smell My Feet

Spicybugz — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 05:36:51 +0000

I’m going to be busy today. Going over to my parents and letting the kids go trick or treating over there. Daddy and pap pap can take them around the neighborhood houses, my mom and I can hand out candy. We will no doubt have dinner there also…or maybe take them out to eat.

So I probably wont get my blog visiting done today until late in the evening…if I don’t get a chance to visit you, blame it on Halloween. I found free seo software on line if anyone is interested. I don’t understand the first thing about it, so I don’t bother. I seem to be doing ok, just keeping it real.

Anyways…I plan on taking my camera with me (reminder to myself to plug the camera battery in) and will post the kids all dressed up. This is the first year that Minibug and Mightybug will be trick or treating. I don’t care for Halloween so much, but my mom kind of bullied me into it. So..I will leave you with this:

Trick or Treat
Smell my Feet
Give Me Something Good To Eat
If You Don’t
I Don’t Care
I’ll Pull Down My Underwear!

Oppps……

Tired and Melancholy.

Spicybugz — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 08:15:49 +0000

Mighty Bug is having a ruff night. Very fussy, and waking up every hour crying. Probably teething again. Gave him some Tylenol, hope that helps. I am so freaking tired, I am getting bags under my eyes…that’s so not good. I swear they tag team me..one night its Mini Bug who wont sleep, the next Might bug. I’m at my wits end for sure on this sleeping problem.

So, I am sitting here, waiting to go to bed, waiting for my little ones to finally call it a night and sleep so that I can go to bed. I am sitting here in the living room, in the dark, and feeling sorta melancholy. For the past month or so, I have had a deep rooted sadness inside of me that I can’t seem to shake. To make matters worse, I came across this video, that took me back to 1978, while I was married to my first husband, dirt poor and living on top of Bakerstown hotel, in a one room efficiency, with a shared bathroom. I worked evenings as a waitress when they had a band, and during the day I would play pinball in the bar. Life was hard, and easy at the same time. I was too young and stupid to know any different. All I knew was I was in love. I was in love with the devil tho, who beat me beyond recognition more times then I can remember. Long story short, he was killed, shot in the chest twice and left me with 2 little boys to raise alone. While I would play pinball in the hotel bar, this is the song that seemed to be played a lot. When I hear this song, the memories come shooting back at me like it was just yesterday. Some memories hurt to much to be remembered and if God really was merciful, he would erase them from the hardrive in my brain. Oh the stories I could tell you all…the life I have lived is rather amazing. I suppose the fact that with everything I have been thru in my life, the fact that I am still alive to tell is a miracle.

and this one…the two songs that constantly were played back then.

Horrible Friend

Spicybugz — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 06:08:02 +0000

I feel so bad, really I do. While we were all down and sick last week, my best friend from PA came down to FL to visit with her son and to go to Daytona for Bike week. She had called me while I was sick and asked if she could come over. I told her that we were all really sick, and I didn’t want company. I could tell she was disappointed. She called me to tell me that she was back at her sons (about an hour from me) and were getting ready to drive back home. They were taking their motor-home back with them that he had borrowed. I told her that she should check to make sure she had some kind of motorhome warranty, that driving back home was over 1,000 miles and they aren’t spring chickens anymore. She laughed and told me not to worry. But…I could tell that she was hurt that I didn’t offer for her to come over before she left. I don’t know why I didn’t.

She has been my friend since I was 18 yrs old..that is one hell of a long friendship. I do love her, and feel like she is family. I have just been so stressed lately and have so much on my plate, that I just am not in the mood for company. Thinking about it, maybe I just didn’t want her to see how stressed I really am. She loves me to death, and I am sure it would upset her to the max. I dunno…for whatever reason, I didn’t invite her here. Now I feel really bad about it. Next time I go out, I think I will get a special card for her and send it. Sigh..I can be such a turd sometimes.

I had an awful day today, Mini Bug had more energy then the energizer bunny, and wanted my full attention all day long. I didn’t get a break. Even while on the phone, with important calls, she was right next to me screaming her head off that she pooped a “big” poopie…a really really big poopie! I’m sure the lawyer I was talking to was impressed. I also had a huge argument with son #2 today. In fact he just called me a little bit ago to say he was sorry. I know he is hurting, but until the day comes that he actually starts listening to me, and takes my advice, there is little I can do for him. It just is what it is, for now….and life goes on.

Someone Please Explain Twitter to Me

Spicybugz — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 23:25:19 +0000

I have a twitter account, but I don’t know why. Could someone please tell me the benefits of twitter? What is it exactly. Just a bunch of short sentences? How does it help increase your blog traffic? How do you keep track of what everyone is saying? It’s just all so confusing to me. What is the benefit of having a lot of followers? I know I’m a little bit off, but every time I hear or think about the word “twitter” the song rockin robin comes into my head. Go Birdy Go!

I was also wondering what antispyware software everyone was using. I love to surf blogs, but lately my anti virus protection notification thing has been going off a lot while surfing. I just got a brand new dell desk top, have EST Nod 32 installed, but I am worried that it might not catch everything. Any suggestions?

A Mothers Love

Spicybugz — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 06:00:52 +0000

My middle son…yes the one who causes me to pull my hair out, and the one who worries me to death, sent me an email today. It is his children that I adopted. I love this child of mine so much it actually hurts. I am helpless as I watch him destroy his health and life. If my love could fix him, he would be perfect, but it doesn’t work that way. People wonder why I don’t just turn my back on him and walk away. That is like asking me to rip my own heart out. I pray each and every day, that some day he will get a clue. That he will fight the addiction that owns him right now, and he will become strong enough to fight the demons in his mind. I pray that someday, soon, he will learn to love himself, as much as I love him. Here is the video he sent me, and I share it with you as a tear rolls down my face.

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