Deelightful Soul

Haiku oo1

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:54:00 +0000

I am perfectly

flawed, an incomplete puzzle

Yet still you kept me

~ dee;light

Mama

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 12:52:00 +0000

I was so ecstatic when I received the email from Rommel asking if I could take some pictures of his wife and their first baby bump. I replied that I hope it is not a spam mail or a bad joke, cause I am beyond excited! Malain ko kung joke!

Doing the pregnancy shoot with the Malinao's reminded me of my own relationship with my mom. It hadn't been all roses and happy girly moments, it was trying and tiring. Unlike most who worship their moms, I was a true blue papa's girl. Still is and proudly so.

Me and my mom had our own set of differences. Hard ones. Trying ones. The type that took years to brew. I built walls so high that it scares even me. I did not bother to build bridges. I burn them. For me, with her gone are the days of doing braids and walking on her heels. I aged 10 years emotionally. I was unforgiving, and worst than being angry, I became numb.

I chose not to correct whatever was wrong, whatever went wrong between us. Whatever was wrong in my heart I just let it be. Maybe it was pride, maybe I was just hurt too much, maybe someone I deeply love was hurt too much. My reasons run so deep and painful, I don't even want to remember them.

But God is a God of many chances, a sweet God of gentle corrections. And sometimes you don't have to say you're sorry just to show that you are. Cause as much as I need to forgive, I too needed forgiveness. I carry my own weight of the load.

I chose to forgive and I was forgiven.

No forcing. It was just one of those things that fall into their right place. And it took it's sweet time fitting right into that place in my heart that I chose not to pay attention to. I know it was no longer my own strength or my own heart. God knows exactly what needed fixing, and it is only His hands who can sew the pieces back together. Usually my hands just get in the way and I might mess it all up even more.

Yet I know right then that I was forgiven a long long time ago. Long before there were cracks on the wall, long before my heart started forgetting, I was forgiven. Maybe I did not caused whatever went wrong, but somewhere along the way I did things, thought of and said things that only fan the flame.

All the more reason I believe that Mothers are heroes. They can forgive in a heartbeat and love you for a lifetime.

As for me and my mom, it's like she gave birth to me twice, and I add that to our growing set of miracles.

Love you Ma :)

To all moms out there, soon to be moms, wanna be moms... you are all Super!

(i am in the wanna be mom, later kay soon to be mom, then finally I will be a mom!)

--==++==--

In the photo are Rommel and Kayle, with their first baby!. Kayle is a very pretty preggy :) Thank you both **heart**

I will walk with you one day

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 13:34:00 +0000

You sing to me my cobblestone streets
One day I shall walk your road
and my naked feet will plant kisses
on your parched lips

One day I will rest my head in your lap
and you will tell me stories
of travellers who lost their way
and found their home within your gates

One day we will sip wine on sidestreets
in the middle of mid-afternoon serenade siesta
Watching couples watch each other,
and then Kiss.
Yes one day, one day...

I will be your Spanish Senorita

---+++---

Yes. I dream of walking the streets of Spain one day. Preferably in this lifetime.
More than once I was told that the locals there would just stare down at me. I hope not, but if they do then I came for the place not the people.

James is from Zamboanga, he speaks Chavacano so well. Chavacano de Zamboanga. I love to listen to him talk in his native tongue whenever he calls home. Chavacano is somewhat Spanish, or more like colloquial Portuguese. And I love love listening to the flow of words.

There are times when I asked him to speak to me in pure Chavacano, and I would just listen wide-eyed, not entirely understanding everything that he says, but somehow it sounded just right. For me he speaks of happy thoughts and lovely dreams.

We call each other Mi Amor, my love.
And each day with him, I have my own piece of Spain.

Their Story

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 03:32:00 +0000

I am writing their story cause I believe they need to remember. :)

++*+*++

Amazing that after all this time he still feels so familiar. His stride. His scent. His being. It's almost like going blind and all her other senses go haywire at the mere thought that he could be standing in the same universe she's floating in. Yes, it is like going blind, or wanting to be blind; To not see, and ultimately not remember that once there was a love she thought could last, if not forever, for at least a very very very long time. If only she could deny the reality that once they chased the same dreams together. Once, not so long ago.

Amazing, that as much as she belongs not to him anymore, she is still, (they are both still are) very much swaying to the same music that's been playing non-stop for years now. Words come cheap when he leads and she follow. His hand ever so gently on her waist (like holding a a rare gem) and her head in the sweetest cushion of his chest, one hand gently cradling the nape of his neck. Do they even need words to explain the magic? She has come to realize that they are each other's vulnerability.

Amazing, she is amazing. Yes she is.

Her eyes that see through him, melts his defenses into a heap of fallen rusty armor. He was once her knight. Her rescuer, her every mention, her every delight. He was once her reason. But as time ebb, they were both carried away by the waves... carried apart.

He does not want to lose her, but he is not sure whether he can keep her. Keep her by his side. Keep her in his arms. Keep her inside him until all the lines and pain and hurt will no longer matter. To keep her and nothing else will matter but her breath, her love, her scent... just her. She is his weakness, but also the very thing that makes him want to be strong.

“A year, ten years from now, I'll remember this;
not why, only that we were here like this, together.”

~ Adrienne Rich ~

Hey there,

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 15:53:00 +0000

To you who asked how I've been, I've been very very very fine.

I am great. But I miss you. I miss hanging out here. I was generally resting. My first real rest since school days. But I miss scribbling thoughts here (but they are always scribbled on my journal.)

To you who asked where I've been, I was just here.

I didn't go to some faraway land where blogging is unheard of. I went to a trip of rediscovery. Of rediscovering myself. And I've realized that there is truly a purpose on why I am built the way that I am.

To you who ask what happened to me, I went to two distinct stages.

Two seasons. Pruning and blooming. Someone UP there gently went through my leaves and removed unwanted mindsets and corrected stubborn branches. Then afterward, as promised He made my garden bloom.

To you who asked if I am ok, you are the sweetest friend.

Behind my absence from this corner, I am more than OK. I might not have updates here at souldeelight, but I am squatting in your pages and reading your posts and your thoughts, and celebrating your victories. I hope I am forgiven for my silence.

To you who said for me to take my time, you are one of a kind.

And I did took my time. Fully rested, I took my time taking care of my better half. I took my time being a wife. I took my time being a friend. I took my time loving myself, and loving important people in my life. Taking time to love life itself.

To you who ask, to you who cared to ask, to you who cared, to you who dropped messages, emails, and whispers.... *hug*.

Tell me, tell me what did I miss. :)

HBD

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Wed, 06 May 2009 07:05:00 +0000

Good Morning Deedots.

~*~**~*~

As I'm waking up I feel my beating heart
So grateful that I've come this far
And thank God for
Another day
Another chance to love the ones I love
To find my way
To laugh, to dance
Watch the sun come up
Another day I get to live
As if
Every breath could be the last I take
I get another day

To make somebody smile
Go the extra mile
Take a wrong and make it right
And try to touch somebody's life

I get another day.....

{Another Day - Natalie Grant}
My Song for the day

~*~**~*~

Dear Self,

Knowing you, you would have liked to feel a surge of enlightenment when you woke up this morning. Tough luck kid, seems like there is heavy traffic in Zen-utopia. You probably thought waking up today will show you a path closer to the Dalai Lama wisdom. Guess that is not happening today. After all 5 minutes or so of quiet meditation is far too short.

You smiled thinking of the surprise knock last night. Stroke of midnight surprise rendezvous. They woke you up with a lighted candle on a cake. Yes, birthdays should always be celebrated with a cake. No matter how grown up a person may be. And in your case, growing up is a never-ending stage. You are grateful.

Your mobile and email inbox was flooded with wishes and i love you's. You love them too. You hope they know how much. Friends are chains you wouldn't mind being entangled with. I know you have learned that not all friendship stays afloat, some just chose to drift away. But God always reminds you that there are more than a handful who chose to anchor and won't mind sharing a journey with you. Beautiful journeys are to be shared with beautiful people. For these you are grateful.

And you slept last night, inside the arms of someone whom you promise to spend the rest of your life with. His arms still wrap around you tightly, even if he is dead tired from work. For this you are very much grateful.

And as much as birthdays are looking ahead of what the future brings, it also, more than anything, looking back and being grateful for what have been. And you are grateful for so many things, sometimes you don't even think you deserve all of them. You must have been good in your past life. It doesn't take a Dalai Lama wisdom to learn the beauty of gratitude.

Happy Birthday Self. Thank you for choosing happiness.

Hot Text

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 06:15:00 +0000

Gastronomic Delight!

I was with the hub, my sister and Rachel at JB, Malaysia last Saturday. Since JB is the nearest point of Malaysia closest to Singapore, we just went by bus. The bus from the Singapore checkpoint and immigration was full, and we were seated at the back end of the bus. Traffic was slow and the AC inside the bus is a sweet respite from the scorching heat outside.

With nothing to do while waiting to arrive to Malaysia immigration I can not help but people watch. And my attention was drawn to the girl seated in front of me who is busy texting with her mobile phone. I know it's not right, and I may be invading her privacy, but one can not help but look and READ her messages specially if the fonts are so big it's almost like begging to be read! Not you regular sized fonts mind you. The really big ones which can be read two seats back.

This lovely not so innocent girl was busy exchanging hot text messages with another person. Words like hard, rough, horny, hot, wet, touch are jumping out of her phone.

I forget that we were stuck in traffic as I was helplessly following their exchanges. LOL, helplessly jud! She was careful though to erase each message. Deleting messages sent and deleting them from her inbox. Way the go to cover her track, almost like nothing naughty ever happened. If it was me ....hmm. LOL. Whatever keeps the relationship alive and kicking. Go!

** Amado's Princesses, going through racks of clothes in JB's Mall ,
50% cheaper than SG stuff! **

So Anyway, we were almost at our stop and that's when the exchanges took a surprising turn. Let's name the person she was texting with Mr.X (though he can also be a girl too .. hmmm).

Mr.X : I need you, I imagine what we do. But I see him touching you.

Naughty Girl texting in bus : I'm sorry, but he is my boyfriend. But I think of you and you make me hot... (plus other details which will make you squirm in your seats. LOL).

Whoa! Naughty girl is cheating with her boyfriend. Whether or not she actually met with this person she was texting to, it is still cheating. God know how many relationships went kaboom all because of innocent and not so innocent text messages. But that is their business not mine, just throwing in my 2 cents. Kanya-kanyang kaligayahan lang yan. I believe we all have a reason of why we do things. Ayt? Well, anyway, I'm digressing.

I immediately told james, kat and rachel when we got off the bus about what I saw. We burst out laughing thinking about it and concluded that infidelity can morph into any form imaginable. And once discovered, things can get really ugly. Scary. I was still thinking about it while chewing my well done steak at stone grill (eating there probably makes 70% of the reason why we went to JB heeheh).

I last saw the girl having her travel documents checked by the immigration officer. She has her small luggage with her, her mobile phone in hand, and in her heart she carries a secret.

Stop and Go

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 02:05:00 +0000

Traffic Light

In life, we have to learn to read the signals.
When to go green and give it all that we got.
And give the world the best of ourselves.
When to go red and stop where we are and rest.
Let things go pass us, it doesn't have to always be a race to first place.
And when to go yellow and to take caution.
To mind where our steps are going.
Because when we hurt and when we fall,
somebody will also hurt and fall with us.

~Dee~

~*~~**~~~***~~~**~~*~

I haven't been as faithful lately with my blogging as I used to (used to) before. I have gazillions of drafts on my mobile waiting to be finished. Sentences waiting to be completed, punctuated. Dreams, Hopes and prayers waiting to be written. Angst and rants waiting to be blurted out. I have them all somewhere in the nook of my mobile waiting in peaceful slumber. But lately I've been busy with things offline.

My sister is here for a visit, 1 month long visit. So we are enjoying each other's time, and now she's got a kuya to torture her together with her (lovely) sister. She's on her 3rd year in college this coming June. And summer breaks are reserved for her to be deported here with me. She promised to give me a Euro tour when she starts working. (I won't mind waiting hehehe).
I was asking her if I haven't been sending enough back home because she is so thin! I feel like she is losing half her weight (exag!) every time I see her! LOL. Probably because she's got a boyfriend now. And we are teasing her endlessly about him. My mama made chika about him last time I called. Hahaha. There goes my baby sis. I can just imagine my papa's face when he learned of it! Seriously, if this boy is really serious he's got to win the heart of our popsicle. James did so with basketball talk. And then some. LOL.

I'm still doing my preoject 365, one picture a day. Still there also inside Pogi's memory card. I will post-process them in bulk. Then upload them all together. I am aching to travel somewhere... anywhere!!!!! Thank God we're off to a nearby country/island this month end.

And yeah, of course, I got a bit busy for a bit for our church wedding next year. Busy surfing ideas and calling home. LOL. I'm still in chill mode, I am a chill bride. I don't want a circus, just a beautiful wedding. As long as it is everybody happy day, that is more than fine with me, with us.

And I was also busy back-reading this blog. Waiter you are a genius! It wakes me up way better than coffee can. Read starting from the first post!

Stitching Words

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 05:29:00 +0000

“There is no less eloquence in the voice, in the eyes and in the air of a speaker
than in his choice of words.”

:: François de la Rochefoucauld ::

If you feel it's hard to find the words to best express what you feel,
writing them down is equally lovely.

- dee

Heartstrings

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 04:56:00 +0000

There are risks when we open ourselves out to people.
We give them the key to pull on our heartstrings,
to make us laugh, cry. Will make us dance , sing or run away.
That is the risk of opening our hearts.

... though there are some who make us think twice ,
and makes us want to shut our doors;
... there are some who prove us wrong.

-dee

Rhythm

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 08:52:00 +0000

I want to flow in the Rhythm of Life!
I want to dance to it's beat
I want to fly together with it's notes!
I want to be in the center of my universe
and flow in the rhythm of life.

~ Dee'lite

~~+*+~~

Have you watched the movie Across the Universe?
If you are a Beatles fan, for sure you will love this one. I sure did.
I probably have watched it more than 5 times already.
And each time I find myself singing along with the characters.
Truly amazing music. Beatles rocks!!

Among the songs in the movie, "If I fell" is one of my favorites.
It talks about wanting to fall in love, and somehow fearing that you will actually do fall.
Another heart wrenching song about love and all it's complexities.

But what I can say is that, Love is worth it. (^_^).

Here's a snippet of the song :

If I Fell in Love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
'cause I've been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands

:: If I Fell :: ~ the Beatles.

What's your Beatles favorite?

~~+*+~~

This is my dusty guitar. I haven't been playing as often as I used to.
I just came home from a small get-together in my friend's house.
Mark played the piano like a lover, and we find ourselves singing along.
Music is really a complete meal. From appetizer down to the main course.
It will fill you up, and you will still want more.

Gio lent us his Guitar Hero and the boys went loco instantly. Even Patty did her stint.
It was fun. I enjoy looking at my friends having a good time,
and I am filled with gratefulness.

Balance

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 07:58:00 +0000

The less we carry , the farther we go.

~~+**^**+~~

Random Thoughts on a Monday

We can really fly higher when we have lesser load to carry.

Forgiveness releases a big mass of heavy load.

And Love is the ultimate healing balm.

~~+**^**+~~

Shifting Peace

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:09:00 +0000

It is Wonderful
to know that
I
can replace
any Negative Emotion
with JOY
and
PEACE
by simply
shifting my thoughts
to something
for which I
am
GRATEFUL

~~~~*~**~***~**~*~~~~

I was tidying of some stuff in my room when I saw this small bundle of Lavender Incense given to me by a friend a couple of months back.

After taking some shots, I lit them up and let the scent filled each corners of the room.
I pray that the scent of gratefulness will also fill each corner of my heart.

~~~~*~**~***~**~*~~~~

I will take a few minutes ...
NOW
to find at least one thing that I have for which
to be thankful
At least five minutes ...
NOW
to let my heart fill.

At least five minutes ...
NOW

to feel FULL.

~~~~*~**~***~**~*~~~~

For awhile now I am worried about a certain friend who I care about. I feel this gap suddenly distancing me from her. And as time passed, I am afraid that the gap might fill with water, and we will be taken farther apart. I am at a lost as to why she suddenly turns a cold shoulder.
Though I am not the only one who she distance herself from, I feel burdened, for the simple reason that she is my friend. And I care.

I tried to talk, to ask what's wrong. I tried to arrange a dinner with friends. I tried to email, to show that I am just here in case she needs a friend. And even to apologize if in case I have unknowingly offended her.

I have done what I can. I have exhausted what I can give.
I am at a lost as to what else I need to do.

One friend told me that I need to learn not to care too much.
An art I need to learn. Because I'm either all or nothing.

I am also comforted when James said that I have done my part.
Perhaps my help (or me) is not the kind of help (or friend) she wants right now.

But my heart is at peace.

The best thing to do now, is to let it be for now.
And I whisper a prayer for her, for her thoughts and for her heart.

I believe that a whispered prayer is heard the most.
One day the tide will change.

(^_^)

~~~~*~**~***~**~*~~~~

I am constantly Grateful for the times when I know I am Understood.

Te Amo Mi Amor.

Shoes and Such

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 02:25:00 +0000

I believe that each girl should have a nice pair of heels.
Even if it is just to improve her posture,
or to whack someone in the head when she's having a bad day.

~ Dee

~*~**~*~

Trading Addiction

As what Mai said, since we've been hooked with photography, the visits to the shops for new clothes and/or shoes has significantly reduce. It is as if there is a red light that would alarm every time you hold a nice pair of top in your hand and you see that there is also a nice pair of $$ attached on the tag. Then the mind would start to calculate and remember the prices of camera accessories from your last canvass. And then you'd find yourself walking away from one addiction, because you are delaying your gratification, holding out for that other addiction with your camera.

~*~**~*~

Walking on Tip Toes

My mama is a petite girl. Me and my sister inherited this part of her genes. She used to work as a cashier in a department store before in Cebu. I grew up watching her put on her make up every morning as she prepares for work. Eye shadow, blush on, eye liner, lipstick ... these are her daily tools as she paints on her canvas. And lastly, she puts on the last piece of her ensemble... her heels.

My mama loves heels. Rain or Shine, pregnant or not. She loves walking on tip toes. She's a simple woman who loves to strut around on heels. She's comfortable with an inch or two raise. Everytime I go home for a visit, I make sure that I pack at least one pair of oh this tip toe shoes for her.

People say that when I was just learning how to walk, I would walk on tip toes. Even while growing up, I find myself walking on tip toes when I'm at home. They say pinaglihi ako sa high heels. That would probably explain my fascination with heels. I love my flats, but these lovelies will always make my heart flutter.

This pair above is one of my favorites. I bought it Valentines of 2008. Since I was alone on the day oh hearts, because James was not yet here, what can a girl do but succumb to retail therapy. My boss calls them killer heels. With a good reason.

If I feel a little girly, I wear it to office. This and a nice fitting jeans and comfy top would complete my "uniform". But I miss wearing it when I'm out together with my girlfriends. Rachel, Ann and Nancy. We can talk like there is no tomorrow, dance like we own the dance floor not minding other people (especially Rache and Ann... Hahaha), and do food trips like we haven't eaten for days. This I miss. I miss this.

Again, I hope we can do that again.

~*~**~*~

Project 365... part 2

I tried this before and only finish till day 30 or something. I failed. And I wasn't as motivated as now. I hope I'd be able to stay faithful and not waver and do a complete attendance for this project. Love is sweeter the 2nd time around. Good luck! Ganbatte!

Complete the Sentence

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 05:11:00 +0000

Hold On, Hold Fast, Hold Out

Don't you know?
Don't you know things can change
Things will go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things will go your way
Hold on for one more day

~*~ Wilson Phillips, Hold On

Woohooo sooooo 80's
Don't you just love the 80's songs?

A better day is coming, just hold on for one more day!

Happy Green Thursday everyone!

~*~**~*~

I got tagged by my very very very good friend Cil at facebook. I don't want to post it there yet, my boss (who is my contact there) might see me updating FB during office hours. Hahaha.

1. My ex... is a two-timer. LOL. Not my favorite mistake.
2. Maybe I should... learn not to care too much sometimes.
3. I love... my husband, my family, my (close) friends .. and taking pictures!
4. People would say that I am... perky? LOL. Stubborn fighter, hopeful dreamer
5. I don't understand... people who are soooo "EMO"
6. When I wake up in the morning...I wish it is a saturday. And I thank Him for a new day.
7. I trust... completely. So when you break it, it will take awhile before you get it back.
8. Life is full of... flavors. Sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet , and sometimes hot!
9. My past taught me... that I should value my self worth. And that He is always in control.
10. I get annoyed when... some people think the world revolves around them. Arrrrrrrrrgh!
11. Parties are... not as fun when you are the one tidying up after the mess. Hahaha.
12. I hope... that mine and James' prayers for our family will be answered.
13. Dogs... reminds me of Slimer (that's what I named him). The black dog who followed me, when I was about 10, home to my Lola's house in Bantayan one summer. And never left.
14. Cats... i find maldita so i don't like for a pet. (Cat lover's don't shoot!)
15. Tomorrow is... Friday! Looking forward for weekends.
16. I have a low tolerance for... self-righteous judgement.
17. If I had a million pounds... I'd buy the best camera in town and get some awesome glasses (lens). And Travel, Travel, Travel with my family. And, definitely, build QUALITY free schools back home!
18. I'm totally terrified of... roaches! And smelly things (and people LOL).
19. When I look at the night sky I think... how great is the Artist's mind who created all these.
20. If I could be anyone I would be... a travel writer. For now I am practicing how it is to be a good wife. And when time comes, be a good mom.

Growing Old

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 02:57:00 +0000

I want to grow old beautifully.
To be surrounded by Love, and to grow old loving people and things around me.
And to grow old in love with the same person I am happily loving right now.
That for me , is how I want to grow old beautifully.

Womanhood

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 05:55:00 +0000

I got this in the mail today... I love being a woman! :)

She loved life and it loved her right back
celebrate her passion

She listened to her heart above all other voices
celebrate her wisdom

She was kind loving and patient...with herself
celebrate her tenderness

She had a way of turning obstacles into opportunities
celebrate her magic

She walked in when everyone else walked out
celebrate her friendship

She made the whole world feel like home
celebrate her warmth

She decided to enjoy more and endure less
celebrate her choices

She colored her thoughts with only the brightest colors
celebrate her optimism

She held her head high and looked the world straight in the eye
celebrate her strength

She designed a life she loved
celebrate her joy

She took the leap and built her wings on the way down
celebrate her Faith

She said bye-bye to unhealthy relationships
celebrate her happiness

She makes the world a better place
celebrate her

To Last A Lifetime

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 14:51:00 +0000

“This very moment is a seed from which the flowers of tomorrow's happiness grow.”
~ Margaret Lindsey

~*~**~*~

The lady is the great grandmother of the little boy. She is 96 years old. She died just a few hours after this photo was taken. Her heart just stopped.

Last Saturday, I took pictures of a birthday party as a favor for a friend. It was a first for me to cover an event. Everything went smoothly. I was able to capture the moment between Clyde, the 1 year old birthday boy, and his great grandmother, as she was blessing him.

This afternoon I gave Clyde's dad some prints of the photos. He told me that shortly after the party ended, after they arrived home; his grandmother was rushed to the hospital and died a few hours later. She died peacefully, just right after she said her prayers.

He thanked me for the photographs, and for capturing that specific moment between his son and his great grandmother. He will always have this to remember her by.

Moments like this, reminds me of why I put my heart with this new found love that I have. Photography immortalizes the little things. Those that matters.

Congrats Derrick!

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 09:17:00 +0000

Engagement Portrait - by Derrick Ong

~*~**~*~

I am so happy to share that the person who did our cozy civil wedding shots last January (woohoo see you in Cebu January 2010 for our church wedding!), won 4 awards in the last AGWPJA contest. AGWPJA or The Artistic Guild of the Wedding Photojournalist Association. He is screaming TALENT!

Feeling close na sad ko. Hahaha. But really he is such a nice guy. My handful of friends who were there can vouch for that. He made me look pretty on my pictures. And half of the pictures I was in bungisngis mode. Pastilan na lang jud. The kind of katawa where you can see the gums! hahahaha.

Him and Ate Ai. And Mai and Jops and Cindy and Liza. I look up to them when it comes to taking pictures. My inspirations. A little closer to the heart. If I get half of their wisdom and talent when it comes to this craft, I'll die a happy (shutter) addict.

Thankful Monday

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 03:42:00 +0000

Colorful Swirls of Life. :)

~*~**~*~

Last friday, I started my day with a prayer.
I whispered that He would bless me so I could be a blessing. To be a channel of blessing.

Mid-Afternoon, my friend called me up and asked if I know a professional Photographer who is available the next day to cover a party. I immediately tried calling those I know who are into photography as a business. Unfortunately, none of them answered my calls! I even tried asking a friend to ask his friend if he can do the gig. But no one is available on such a short notice.

When my friend called me back I told her that I wasn't able to confirm anyone. Then somehow the conversation was turned into her asking how much is my fee if ever I'll do the gig. I immediately told her, I'd gladly do it with arms wide open, as long as they don't pay me. Since I'm no pro and all. And honestly, I'm still starting out with this affair with the viewfinder, I can not possibly impose a fee on such a limited knowledge. But I was super excited! Me a Happy Bunny (^_^)

The dad (my friend's boyfriend's Indian friend, hehe get it?, who is hosting the party for his son) called me up, and he explained that the photographer they initially hired had some family emergency and had to back out on the last minute. When he told me where the party will be held, I almost jump with excitement! I love that place based from the pictures I've seen. I've always wanted to visit it, but never really gotten the chance. Plus it's not really the most affordable place in town. And now, what a way to make my first step there!

Again Mr.J (the dad) asked about my fee. And I repeated to him the litany I gave my friend. But He wouldn't take no for an answer, so I told him to just pay for my taxi and that is fine with me. He just said we will discuss again, as he is not also comfortable with that arrangement. And I'm not also comfortable receiving payment. Errrr maybe after a few more practice? LOL.

So I was there last Saturday, and I had my good good friend Rachel to tag along and help me shoot. (She got her "borrowed" cam with her). I am not yet that brave to go out alone. Hahaha. I'm still on my way to converting her into a shutter addict.

There were A LOT of challenges I've encountered during the shoot. And I have learned a lot. Almost like a learn as you go type of acquiring knowledge. I really really really need to practice. REALLY. haha. I'll share what obstacles I've had on later post. Pwede ra kaau ko ninyo kataw.an hahahaha

But I had a lots of fun, and so did Rachel. The Jackson family is lovely. And me and Rache did not only learn a few more things about photography, but also on how to relate to different kinds of people. Kapoy English hehe.

I am thankful. I was blessed to be a blessing!

Word Chimes

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 16:04:00 +0000

When the wind blows, the chime sings.

***

I was browsing through my past emails and I came across an exchange of emails from the poetry mailing list we have before back at my previous company in Cebu. Yes, for a software company, we have an avenue for frustrated writers like me and some pure genius like master georgec and poeticnook, and some fellow programmers, engineers, all technical people who pound the keyboard not just with source codes, but also with lines that tickles their hearts.

The poems below though started out a bit melancholic, then later on turned hilarious. Beware of what boredom can do. Hahaha.

From the archives...

Watermark
~ nov 25, 2005

i dont know what it’s like
to be the love of a poet
be the words behind her
rhyme
be the rhythm in her
sleep
and be the moment that
takes her breath away
i don't know what it’s like
to be the water
drowning her pain
be the blanket
covering her skin
and to be the pillow
witnessing her dreams
i don't know what it’s like
being the comfort
she curls herself in
be the reason behind
her smiles
and be the hand
that wipes her tears
i don't know what it’s like
what it’s like in the
other end
all i know is whats it’s like
being the poet in your arms

to which master georgec replied with :

it’s like this
~ nov 25, 2005

it’s like days falling painfully insignificant
like gray skies on rainy days.
it’s like trying to count for whatever reasons
all the acne scars on the moon’s face.
it’s like the emptiness that follows a sunset
when one sits in a corner alone.
it’s like a GLOBE or SMART text in the otherwise
empty inbox of your cellphone.

to which i replied with :

so you say
~ nov 25, 2005

so you say it is like that
to become an insignificant sniff of the other
finding your sanity hanging by a thread
and finding lunacy a sweet surrender
so you say it is like that
watching the sunset in a whole new horizon
and keeping one word messages
locked in the corners of your cellphone

We were probably not so busy then, and literary juice was flowing richly in our veins. I miss those days.

I keep a journal before with nothing but poetry I've written to express my thoughts, dreams, crushes, hopes. I miss it. I have it tucked inside one of the boxes under my bed in my room back in Cebu. I want to come back to that again. I hope my muse haven't given up on me yet.

Swing Me

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 04:16:00 +0000

Swing With Me.

"For June who loved this garden from Joseph who always sat beside her."
Some people do spend their whole lives together.
~ Anna Scott, Notting Hill

***

Last night was a movie night for us. Minus the big screen, the commute, and the crowd. We snuggled inside the bedroom, turn on the aircon, and turn off the lights.

We are both avid CSI freaks, but there were no latest episodes available to download for our favorite TV-Series. James made a request which had me smiling ear to ear. He asked if I can get a copy of the Notting Hill. (Last time it was Music and Lyrics hehe). Woohooo to watching sappy films with the Hub.

I've always loved this movie. But then again, I've always loved Julia Roberts. (Her first movie I've seen when I was just a kid was Dying Young, and I was hooked since then.) Seeing Notting Hill again after the Nth time, seems like nothing (nottin? lol) change. I still view it with fresh eyes. I still feel Kilig over the lines "I am just a girl standing in front of the boy. Asking him to love her". And the lines are so witty and well written, you can't help but smile.

It is definitely a favorite. I love Anna Scott and William.

Happiness isn't happiness without a violin playing goat :)

Games

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 09:17:00 +0000

Group Hug!!

I am Happy. I am sad.

I can't decide which one I feel more. Probably leaning into the hoping part.
Hoping that it'll will end up in a happy ending... for all parties.

I am happy because a guy friend just confided to me that he likes my other friend.
FINALLY! Hello!! It's so obvious!

I am sad, because the girl whom he likes is in the place where she's learning to let go of him.
She kind of got tired of waiting.

Hayyy love love love.

Gugma Gugma ngano manungog man ka?

the Catch

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 08:18:00 +0000

When He closes a door, He opens up the windows, and takes off the whole roof!

A lot of friends are asking me about how it is working here in Singapore. And I reply with much enthusiasm, it is great!

Maybe it is great for me because I get along well with my boss, who is really both a teacher and a friend rolled into one. Though he is off to China now, building another team.
Maybe it is great for me because I have a lot of close friends here, and even met a few more, which made my stay a little more closer to home.
Maybe it is great for me because the person who I want to be with is here with me.
Maybe it is great for me because I really don't demand a lot. Oftentimes I don't even demand at all.

And then they would ask how long did I try to look for work.

It took me a week to find a job, and a job which I really wanted. But it took me months of praying. Even before I handed my resignation letter, I had been soaking everything in prayer. After reviewing programming books, I get even more anxious. I only realized how much I've forgotten among the basic stuff. So I pray, and in quietness He would just silence my heart.

Never underestimate the power of prayer. Sometimes you may not get what you really wanted but for sure you will get something that you really need. Answered prayers just come in different packages.

And then the inevitable question they'd throw would be, is Singapore affected by the global crisis? What are their chances of landing a job here?

Yes, crisis has reached Singapore also. Companies closing down, forced leaves enforced on employees, pay-cuts implemented, and some got laid off. Maybe it is not as harsh as the one happening in US or UK, but it is happening here, now. Thankfully, I haven't experienced yet any of those.

I always tell those who are planning to do the same thing I did (resigning from their job and risk to look for a job here), come here armed with loads of prayer, patience, HUMOR and enough pocket money to get you by. Budget for 3 months worth of job searching.

My contract with my current company is ending mid this year. It is actually a blessing that I was able to reach till this year. When my contract ended last year, it got extended till December. Then when December came, they extended it again till this year. It just keeps on extending. Everytime I would ask my family back home to help me pray, then I tell them that the contract got extended, you can hear the relief, happiness and gratefulness in their voice.

During those times, I only have hurried prayers regarding my job. I was too busy praying for James job search. And he did get his job, with a nice story to add to it. He really is a God of timing. You will really know that somebody from up there is orchestrating things down here.

Now my contract is ending this year. It's my turn to look for work. James' is adjusting well in his new job, so my heart is at peace.

My dream to be a full-time housewife will not be happening anytime soon. Both of us has to work, not just for us but for that place they call "future".

So now I'm putting my prayer cap on. And try to tell my heart not be anxious. I will do what I can , He will do the impossible. :)

I held on to this verse when I just move here jobless and all,

"Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”…

Right now, i will have to follow the words of Simon,

“…But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”

I'm letting go and believing for the catch.

Sent

noreply@blogger.com (Dee) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 06:45:00 +0000

Genuine Faith puts it's letter in the mailbox and lets go.
Distrust however, holds on the other end of the envelope
and wonders why the answer never arrives.

Sometimes we all need to be reminded to trust that He hears our silent dreams,
and to let go of the other end of our letter so He can do wonders on our behalf.

For our Twosome, I am believing Paking for

a Happy Family
a Love-filled Home
countless Journeys to different places
eyes wide open to recognize His miracles
wonderful stories to fill the in-between

... and to take pictures as He makes them come true.

Oh I wish the same to you, whatever you are believing in.