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The Smart Lemming Rules of Life and Career Management: #15 Learn to Channel your Inner Extrovert, if You’re an Introvert

Lori Grant — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 03:37:53 +0000

Introverts are Misunderstood

New coworkers mistakenly perceive you as arrogant, strangers think you’re shy or socially awkward, others believe you lack self-esteem or self-confidence, unfortunately, as an introvert you’re misunderstood.

Extroverts seem to easily go through life, enjoying social situations by talking with strangers or large numbers of people, often thinking as they speak rather than thinking before they speak.

Creating a Dualistic Nature

I’m an introvert, who’d rather be alone reading a book, energized by sitting alone for hours thinking my thoughts, often drained when I have to interact with large numbers of people. But I had to learn how to be “on,” creating a public persona that I developed as a coping mechanism to offset my introverted nature.

I learned to develop extroverted tendencies over the past five years out of sheer survival because I was, attending public events by walking the red carpet at events, talking to strangers I didn’t know, but had to interact with, meeting executives or even artists that I had admired from afar. It was scary hanging out in the “Green Room” at the 2006 MTV Music Awards at the Radio City Music Hall in Manhattan, not knowing who I was going to run into, praying that I wouldn’t get introduced to Judy McGrath, CEO of MTV.

As an introvert, nothing was more nerve wracking than meeting one of my favorite actors (Christina Cox) from one of my favorite TV shows (”Blood Ties“) before I had developed a public persona. Two years later, it was easier a second time around when I had the opportunity to talk with Cox and fellow actor Liz Vassey at another public event.

Do Extroverts Face Any Challenges?

But what challenges do extroverts face? I can’t speak from experience, but believe their challenges could be speaking out of turn since they think quickly as they talk, learning not to overpower introverts in meetings or audience, and appearing genuine as they interact with others.

As we manage our careers, introverts can learn from extroverts in how to become energized from interacting with others. After I learned how to interact with large crowds, I started enjoying myself. While I run the risk of being compartmentalized by having a dual nature, as an introvert, this was the only way I was able to meet with the requirements of my public situations.

Extroverts can learn a few things from a few things from introverts. I have a few extroverted friends who are vigilant in learning how to censor what they say since they talk on the fly, becoming mindful through meditation, tamping down their energy during events or meetings as to not scare off other introverts.

Action Items

If you’re an introvert, I recommend the following:

Practice interacting with five or more people
Initiate quick conversations with strangers in the grocery store line or at Starbucks
Develop a public persona that you can consciously turn on, just an amped up version of you

Over time, you’ll become comfortable in dealing with others in a variety of settings, using the self-confidence enabled by your new public persona.

If you’re an extrovert, try:

Sitting by alone and meditate, allowing random thoughts to present themselves to you and setting the thoughts aside as you try to contemplate nothing
Allowing others to initiate conversations
Observing the people you interact with, asking yourself what’s different than if you would have initiated the discussion and if they had you’re undivided attention

Unfortunately, managing our career is much easy if we’re extroverts. But if I could, I wouldn’t change from introvert to extrovert. I like my introversion, but also enjoy my ability to turn on my extroverted self on demand.

For the record, my public persona is authentic; it’s just an amped-up version of me. The real Lori will always be quiet and reflective. I’ll always be conflicted about doing public events when I prefer to be sitting quietly in my library, surrounded by dark red walls with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, reading one of my business books.

_____________________

The Smart Lemming Rules of Life and Career Management series outlines my rules of personal and work success. After reflecting on my personal values, I made this list, realizing values are my rules of being or life management principles. Based on your experiences, I hope this list inspires you to identify your own rules. Here are the rules to my success that may help you over the course of your journey:

Level 1: Rules for Our Fundamental Nature

Level 2: Rules of Continuous Learning and Modeling

Level 3: Rules for the Actual Journey

#12 Stay still and don’t move if you feel lost, so you can find yourself or let the opportunity find you.
#13 Always be course correcting.
#14 Surround yourself with trusted and loyal friends. Be prepared to deal with betrayal without ambivalence. But be prepare to forgive (if the person is sincere, I mean really sincere).
#15 Learn to channel your inner extrovert, if you’re an introvert. Learn to channel your inner introvert, if you’re an extrovert.

Level 4: Rules of Adapting to Environment and Interacting with Others

#16 Make peace with your weaknesses. We’re not perfect. Even your strengths will turn into weaknesses. The trick is knowing when your strength has become a weakness.
#17 Master your emotions and body language. Use them strategically in life and work.
#18 Mentor yourself via the Space Time Continuum. What would your future self tell your present self? How can you get back on track? What have you done well? What more can you do? What would you tell yourself as a child, teen, 20 or 30 something?

Level 5: Rules of Humility

#19 Never take your success for granted. Always prepare for the worst case scenarios. Be prepared for two steps forward and one step back.
#20 Be humble. Treat others well, don’t be arrogant, and don’t drink your own Kool-Aid.

Level 6: Rule of Being

#21 Be compassionate.

The Smart Lemming Rules of Life and Career Management: #14 Surround Yourself with Trusted and Loyal Friends

Lori Grant — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 21:11:44 +0000

Do you give people your trust without expecting them to earn it? You willingly handing over your state secrets, disclosing to them private details of your life that you don’t want your boss or colleagues to know, knowing they haven’t proven their loyalty or trustworthiness to you.

Has a trusted friend or coworker broken their silence, breaking your implied rule of not telling anyone your opinion, committing a self-interested act that demonstrates a blatant disregard for your relationship, acting as if they did nothing wrong.

Developing Trusted and Loyal Friends

If this sounds familiar, then you’ve experienced friends or colleagues violating your trust. Personally, I’ve always been a private person, new friends or coworkers must prove their trustworthiness to me, after reflecting similar values and opinions, showing me they could be loyal to our relationship, as we build a trusted relationship based reciprocity of discretion and loyalty.

I have a close circle of trusted friends that I can count one hand, all of whom I willingly share all the details of my life and respect my need for privacy. Because of my cautiousness, I’m never betrayed by these friends or colleagues, after giving them complete access to my life.

When friends or coworkers violate my trust, I act quickly, assessing any damage that may have been done, taking action on minimizing the effects by containing the leak, distancing myself from the untrustworthy person, removing the responsible party from my circle, determining if I need to confront the person or quietly fade into the background.

While this may sound dramatic, I’ve learned over the years that people must earn my trust, after demonstrating a commitment to our relationship.

As you climb your career ladder, you too must learn when to how and when to give trust, by identifying your own set of standards of trusting people, unlearning to hand over trust to people who haven’t earned it.

Action Items

Surround yourself with trusted and loyal friends, with people who earn your trust, who demonstrate judgment in interpersonal relationships that also understand discretion in knowing when to keep your secrets.

Be prepared to deal with betrayal without ambivalence by learning how to contain the effects of the betrayal, by being decisive in your actions as you contain the problems caused by the disclosure, acting swiftly to confront the offender, and confronting the person when appropriate.

Be prepared to forgive, if the person becomes self aware of the consequences of their action, displays sincerity in their apology to you, demonstrating they have learned how to be discrete with relationship.

Failing to learn when to give trust in others and deal with betrayal only leads to future errors in your judgment of others.

If you don’t learn how to develop and nurture a close circle of friends, you open yourself up to people using you. While what I’ve described sounds like a lonely existence, it’s not. My circle of trusted friends are people I trust with my life. I have no doubt they feel the same about me.

_____________________

Level 1: Rules for Our Fundamental Nature

Level 2: Rules of Continuous Learning and Modeling

Level 3: Rules for the Actual Journey

#12 Stay still and don’t move if you feel lost, so you can find yourself or let the opportunity find you.
#13 Always be course correcting.
#14 Surround yourself with trusted and loyal friends. Be prepared to deal with betrayal without ambivalence. But be prepare to forgive (if the person is sincere, I mean really sincere).
#15 Learn to channel your inner extrovert, if you’re an introvert. Learn to channel your inner introvert, if you’re an extrovert.

Level 4: Rules of Adapting to Environment and Interacting with Others

#16 Make peace with your weaknesses. We’re not perfect. Even your strengths will turn into weaknesses. The trick is knowing when your strength has become a weakness.
#17 Master your emotions and body language. Use them strategically in life and work.
#18 Mentor yourself via the Space Time Continuum. What would your future self tell your present self? How can you get back on track? What have you done well? What more can you do? What would you tell yourself as a child, teen, 20 or 30 something?

Level 5: Rules of Humility

#19 Never take your success for granted. Always prepare for the worst case scenarios. Be prepared for two steps forward and one step back.
#20 Be humble. Treat others well, don’t be arrogant, and don’t drink your own Kool-Aid.

Level 6: Rule of Being

#21 Be compassionate.

The Smart Lemming Rules of Life and Career Management: #13 Always be Course Correcting

Lori Grant — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 23:16:33 +0000

We’ve all done it. We make missteps in our jobs or career.

You fail to learn from your mistakes, unaware as you go about your job, failing to see the circumstances or events that consistently cause you problems, repeating the same mistake by talking over boss in one-on-one meetings, using the auto-sum feature in Excel when you should be typing in the calculation, or making assumptions when you should be asking for clarification.

Perhaps you’re too stubborn to admit mistakes, refusing to think that you could make a simple error, in denial that your skills, knowledge or experience lacks the depth required for the task or project.

For example, when I was a Product Manager, I drove my boss crazy by always making assumptions, acting like a mind reader who knew her motives, directives, and expectations of a project that she never conveyed to me, mistakenly reading into the intentions of her executive colleagues’ actions, letting fear get the best of me, worrying that their actions to cut costs were in response to a recession.

It took me months to learn not to make assumptions, but only after my boss constantly pointed out to me when I was making assumptions. Finally, it became a habit to ask a set of questions that helped me determine the scope of work of a project or the motives of an action plan.

Action Items

How can you effectively learn from your mistakes? By using this simple three step process:

Learn to make changes “in context“: Learn to respond to a mistake in the making. After you recognize the tell-tale signs of a mistake, ask yourself, “Has this happened before?” or “Does this feel familiar?” Learn to think through your previous mistakes and their consequences.
Identify scenarios: Quickly identify scenarios to fix the problem, as if applying a cost-benefit analysis to the problem, trying to determine the best scenario that minimizes any damage to your vested interest in the situation, factoring in any negative effects on others such as your coworkers, boss, or department.
Find the best course of action: Choose the best course of action, by applying your lessons learned or wisdom from past mistakes, but taking responsibility for the mistake.

Course correction in context or in the moment takes practice. Set aside your stubbornness or pride by being open to constructive criticism that benefits your current job performance and career.

_____________________

Level 1: Rules for Our Fundamental Nature

Level 2: Rules of Continuous Learning and Modeling

Level 3: Rules for the Actual Journey

#12 Stay still and don’t move if you feel lost, so you can find yourself or let the opportunity find you.
#13 Always be course correcting.
#14 Surround yourself with trusted and loyal friends. Be prepared to deal with betrayal without ambivalence. But be prepare to forgive (if the person is sincere, I mean really sincere).
#15 Learn to channel your inner extrovert, if you’re an introvert. Learn to channel your inner introvert, if you’re an extrovert.

Level 4: Rules of Adapting to Environment and Interacting with Others

#16 Make peace with your weaknesses. We’re not perfect. Even your strengths will turn into weaknesses. The trick is knowing when your strength has become a weakness.
#17 Master your emotions and body language. Use them strategically in life and work.
#18 Mentor yourself via the Space Time Continuum. What would your future self tell your present self? How can you get back on track? What have you done well? What more can you do? What would you tell yourself as a child, teen, 20 or 30 something?

Level 5: Rules of Humility

#19 Never take your success for granted. Always prepare for the worst case scenarios. Be prepared for two steps forward and one step back.
#20 Be humble. Treat others well, don’t be arrogant, and don’t drink your own Kool-Aid.

Level 6: Rule of Being

#21 Be compassionate.

The Smart Lemming Rules of Life and Career Management: #12 Stay Still and Don’t Move if You Feel Lost

Lori Grant — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 20:55:09 +0000

You hate you’re job or career, each day dreading going to work, hating the work environment that your career forces you to exist in, working with coworkers who are out of sync with your personal values, resenting your company’s culture.

You no longer feeling passion in your work, missing that rush of play, intensity, or urgency that you used to feel as your worked on your favorite projects or with certain coworkers.

Sensing that you’ve evolved, not knowing what you’re changing to, unaware of the moment of when you changed, one day you wake up feeling like a different person, but in the same body.

Feeling Lost?

Sound familiar? There are times we all feel lost in our career, absent is the feeling of purpose or meaning, why we exist and why what we do matters, or how our lives positively affects others or a greater common good.

We are directionless as live out each work day, completing menial work tasks that fail to contribute to the next stage of our career. Perhaps, you’ve achieved a targeted level of success, attaining that promotion to senior marketing manager, achieving that director level position, or reaching your compensation goals. Despite these achievements in your career, you don’t know what to do next in your life.

There may be times when your values fundamentally shift, becoming discontent to work with others who values differ from our own, resenting an office environment that’s too sexist or market driven, signaling that you’ve out grow your job or career.

Action Items

What can you do if you’re feeling lost? Stay still. Don’t move if you feel lost, so you can find yourself or let the opportunity find you.

Stop flailing around as you desperately try to find your new job or career opportunities, pursuing new direction after new direction, each idea off target as the preceding one.

Instead, sit and reflect, like you’re meditating, observing each thought as it approaches you, assessing if it fits you like a glove, pointing you in the right direction, discovering a new path that helps you transform from being lost to found.

Once paths are presented to you, identify your best options, trying each one on for size, paying attention to one that resonates with you, speaking to your core values.

Prioritize each new direction and then chose the most likely course of action, identifying how you’ll implement this new opportunity, determining research or work projects to test out your new path, outlining the steps you should take leading you to your next job or career stage.

Trust me, your next career move will present itself to you when you are ready for it. All you need is patience and quiet reflection to learn what it is and why it’s meaningful to you.

_____________________

Level 1: Rules for Our Fundamental Nature

Level 2: Rules of Continuous Learning and Modeling

Level 3: Rules for the Actual Journey

#12 Stay still and don’t move if you feel lost, so you can find yourself or let the opportunity find you.
#13 Always be course correcting.
#14 Surround yourself with trusted and loyal friends. Be prepared to deal with betrayal without ambivalence. But be prepare to forgive (if the person is sincere, I mean really sincere).
#15 Learn to channel your inner extrovert, if you’re an introvert. Learn to channel your inner introvert, if you’re an extrovert.

Level 4: Rules of Adapting to Environment and Interacting with Others

#16 Make peace with your weaknesses. We’re not perfect. Even your strengths will turn into weaknesses. The trick is knowing when your strength has become a weakness.
#17 Master your emotions and body language. Use them strategically in life and work.
#18 Mentor yourself via the Space Time Continuum. What would your future self tell your present self? How can you get back on track? What have you done well? What more can you do? What would you tell yourself as a child, teen, 20 or 30 something?

Level 5: Rules of Humility

#19 Never take your success for granted. Always prepare for the worst case scenarios. Be prepared for two steps forward and one step back.
#20 Be humble. Treat others well, don’t be arrogant, and don’t drink your own Kool-Aid.

Level 6: Rule of Being

#21 Be compassionate.

The Smart Lemming Rules of Life and Career Management: #11 Keep a Lid on Chaos

Lori Grant — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 16:38:20 +0000

Do you have people in your life who create drama in their lives? If you have “dramatic” friends or family, then you probably spend most of your time fending off this drama by establishing boundaries. If you don’t, then you’re probably sucked into the drama that only adds stress to your life.

Why is it important to establish boundaries? Why should we keep a lid on chaos?

Catastrophe Thinking

As a manager, your employees look to you to keep your emotions in check. They need confidence from you that their work world is doing well. If you’re emotions are getting away from you, they might go through this analysis in their mind:

Is my boss just having a bad day?
Is my boss having personal problems?
Is my boss having problems with his or her peers? Does it affect me?
Is my boss having problems with their boss? Does it affect me?
Is our company okay? Does it affect me?

Speaking from front line experience, this is the type of catastrophe thinking I would go through when I looked for “smoke signals” from my boss. I was looking for signals on the horizon for things that I should be concerned about. I don’t consider this a healthy approach to work. I developed this line of thinking after going through two economic downturns, where my job was affected. I narrowly missed one layoff by exiting quickly, but couldn’t avoid the second one.

Vulnerable people in our personal lives also are looking for smoke signals. If you have children, nieces, or nephews, then they probably look up to you. They require stability and confidence from you, hoping you’ll protect them from harm, chaos, or any other stress.

Action Items

As a manager, try to remain calm and consistent with your emotions. With challenging economic times, your direct reports are looking for clues in your behavior to signal if there’s danger that they should be worried about. If you know there’s danger, then carefully communicate your concerns.

If you need to create urgency, then do so without accidentally setting off the catastrophe thinking in your direct reports. Of course, if it’s a crisis, then convey it, but with some kind of action plan for your team that helps you manage the crisis.

If you have other vulnerable people in your life like children, nieces, or nephews, then never let situations or emotions get away from you. Be the calm in the eye of the storm for them, demonstrating strength and confidence to them. Why stress them out when you can be a role model of how to handle stress or be a good crisis manager? Be the one they run to, not the person they avoid.

_____________________

Level 1: Rules for Our Fundamental Nature

Level 2: Rules of Continuous Learning and Modeling

Level 3: Rules for the Actual Journey

#12 Stay still and don’t move if you feel lost, so you can find yourself or let the opportunity find you.
#13 Always be course correcting.
#14 Surround yourself with trusted and loyal friends. Be prepared to deal with betrayal without ambivalence. But be prepare to forgive (if the person is sincere, I mean really sincere).
#15 Learn to channel your inner extrovert, if you’re an introvert. Learn to channel your inner introvert, if you’re an extrovert.

Level 4: Rules of Adapting to Environment and Interacting with Others

#16 Make peace with your weaknesses. We’re not perfect. Even your strengths will turn into weaknesses. The trick is knowing when your strength has become a weakness.
#17 Master your emotions and body language. Use them strategically in life and work.
#18 Mentor yourself via the Space Time Continuum. What would your future self tell your present self? How can you get back on track? What have you done well? What more can you do? What would you tell yourself as a child, teen, 20 or 30 something?

Level 5: Rules of Humility

#19 Never take your success for granted. Always prepare for the worst case scenarios. Be prepared for two steps forward and one step back.
#20 Be humble. Treat others well, don’t be arrogant, and don’t drink your own Kool-Aid.

Level 6: Rule of Being

#21 Be compassionate.

The Smart Lemming Rules of Life and Career Management: #10 Accept Responsibility for Your Decisions

Lori Grant — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 17:55:38 +0000

How many times have we seen friends and family constantly getting into the same problems time after time? And how many times do we offer advice to them, hoping they’ll make a different decision with better results the next time? How many times do we have to listen to their unhappiness, frustration, or anger of their predicament as they fail to recognize or accept responsibility for their actions?

They hate their job. They can’t stand their spouse. It’s inefficient to not take responsibility for your actions. Why would you want to waste time and money on making bad decisions anyway, failing to learn from your mistakes?

If we’re the one making bad decisions and hating our career or life management outcomes, then why can’t we change? Because that would require practicing “Rule #9 - Become self aware.” It’s not easy learning self awareness, so we can improve our decisions and learn how to accept responsibility for our actions. Sometimes, it takes years to figure out that we create our own reality in our career or in life.

Action Items

What can you do if you have loved ones who don’t accept responsibility for their actions? As a friend or family member, we can’t save people from themselves. We can’t make decisions for our loved ones, protecting them from harm or other circumstances. We can only offer advice and then let go of our vested interest or dysfunctional concern in their outcome. Until they choose to accept responsibility for their actions, they’ll never have improved results. All we can do is have patience, be compassionate, and not judge them.

What if it’s you making the bad decisions? Then do not pass “Go,” and go back to “Rule #9 - Become self aware.” Learn to accept responsibility for your decisions and make peace with the consequences of those decisions. Remember to have compassion with yourself. Your decisions have created who you are today. If you don’t like what you’ve created, then it’s time to change.

_____________________

Level 1: Rules for Our Fundamental Nature

Level 2: Rules of Continuous Learning and Modeling

#7 Watch or read media sources when you need inspiration. Reflect on why you like a certain movie or TV show, so you understand why it moves you.
#8 Always be learning. Continue learning through books or any source that gives you new ideas on how to approach your work or feeds your passion.
#9 Become self aware. If you aren’t, then how will you know you’re screwing up?
#10 Accept responsibility and make peace with your decisions and the consequences of those decisions. They have created the person you are today. The trick is, do you like what you’ve created? If not, then how can you change?
#11 Keep a lid on chaos. Never let situations or emotions get away from you. Be the calm in the eye of the storm as strength, reflecting confidence for the most vulnerable people in your life.

Level 3: Rules for the Actual Journey

#12 Stay still and don’t move if you feel lost, so you can find yourself or let the opportunity find you.
#13 Always be course correcting.
#14 Surround yourself with trusted and loyal friends. Be prepared to deal with betrayal without ambivalence. But be prepare to forgive (if the person is sincere, I mean really sincere).
#15 Learn to channel your inner extrovert, if you’re an introvert. Learn to channel your inner introvert, if you’re an extrovert.

Level 4: Rules of Adapting to Environment and Interacting with Others

#16 Make peace with your weaknesses. We’re not perfect. Even your strengths will turn into weaknesses. The trick is knowing when your strength has become a weakness.
#17 Master your emotions and body language. Use them strategically in life and work.
#18 Mentor yourself via the Space Time Continuum. What would your future self tell your present self? How can you get back on track? What have you done well? What more can you do? What would you tell yourself as a child, teen, 20 or 30 something?

Level 5: Rules of Humility

#19 Never take your success for granted. Always prepare for the worst case scenarios. Be prepared for two steps forward and one step back.
#20 Be humble. Treat others well, don’t be arrogant, and don’t drink your own Kool-Aid.

Level 6: Rule of Being

#21 Be compassionate.

The Smart Lemming Rules of Life and Career Management: #9 Become Self Aware

Lori Grant — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 04:20:45 +0000

Do you know what you’re good at? Do you admit your weaknesses? Are you willing to allow others to know your weaknesses, so they can step in, playing to their strengths?

Is it possible that others see you as someone who has no idea of their shortcomings?

Are you defensive when you receive feedback at home of the office?

If you’ve had counseling, therapy, or a candid career coach or mentor, then you’re most likely self aware. You realize the importance of understanding why you feel the way you do, why you behave the way you behave, or why you manage or lead the way you do.

Elephant in the Room

Being self aware reflects that you’re willing to work through your issues that may affect your personal and work relationships. I know of leaders who lack self awareness, being bullies at home and at the office. Their families walk on eggshells around them, while their employees are so scared into submission. Is this healthy? Of course not. I don’t mean to simplify such as a complex problem in this example, I’m trying to demonstrate that our personal limitation in self awareness affects everyone in our lives. Being self aware reflects a commitment to understand and work through our issues, becoming happier people to be around.

Musselwhite perfectly sums up self awareness like this:

If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll admit that really the opposite is true. Because whether you acknowledge your weaknesses or not, everyone still sees them. So rather than conceal them, the person who tries to hide weaknesses actually highlights them, creating the perception of a lack of integrity and self-awareness.

Lacking self awareness is like being secluded in a box. If you have an anger management problem, then it’s most likely reflected in your work life (unless you’re really good at compartmentalizing). People probably hate working with you and you don’t’ even know it. If you don’t care, it reflects you disregard what others think and feel. Unless you evolve, you’re destined to live a lonely life, with people only putting up with you because they have to.

Action Items

If you haven’t worked with third parties or done your own self exploration, then you probably aren’t as self aware as you could be. Why not start today? Start asking yourself questions that will help you discover and define yourself in the following areas: Social, Emotional, Significant Relationship, Spiritual/Ethical, Financial, Career, Personal, and Personal Definitions. As you manage your career, it’s important to be conscious of what you’re good at while acknowledging what you still have yet to learn.

As you become self aware, you’ll honestly assess what knowledge, skills, and experiences you need to accomplish your career and life goals. You’ll treat others with respect and dignity. More importantly, you’ll know when you’re screwing up, so you can course correct and get back on the right track.

_____________________

Level 1: Rules for Our Fundamental Nature

Level 2: Rules of Continuous Learning and Modeling

#7 Watch or read media sources when you need inspiration. Reflect on why you like a certain movie or TV show, so you understand why it moves you.
#8 Always be learning. Continue learning through books or any source that gives you new ideas on how to approach your work or feeds your passion.
#9 Become self aware. If you aren’t, then how will you know you’re screwing up?
#10 Accept responsibility and make peace with your decisions and the consequences of those decisions. They have created the person you are today. The trick is, do you like what you’ve created? If not, then how can you change?
#11 Keep a lid on chaos. Never let situations or emotions get away from you. Be the calm in the eye of the storm as strength, reflecting confidence for the most vulnerable people in your life.

Level 3: Rules for the Actual Journey

#12 Stay still and don’t move if you feel lost, so you can find yourself or let the opportunity find you.
#13 Always be course correcting.
#14 Surround yourself with trusted and loyal friends. Be prepared to deal with betrayal without ambivalence. But be prepare to forgive (if the person is sincere, I mean really sincere).
#15 Learn to channel your inner extrovert, if you’re an introvert. Learn to channel your inner introvert, if you’re an extrovert.

Level 4: Rules of Adapting to Environment and Interacting with Others

#16 Make peace with your weaknesses. We’re not perfect. Even your strengths will turn into weaknesses. The trick is knowing when your strength has become a weakness.
#17 Master your emotions and body language. Use them strategically in life and work.
#18 Mentor yourself via the Space Time Continuum. What would your future self tell your present self? How can you get back on track? What have you done well? What more can you do? What would you tell yourself as a child, teen, 20 or 30 something?

Level 5: Rules of Humility

#19 Never take your success for granted. Always prepare for the worst case scenarios. Be prepared for two steps forward and one step back.
#20 Be humble. Treat others well, don’t be arrogant, and don’t drink your own Kool-Aid.

Level 6: Rule of Being

#21 Be compassionate.

The Smart Lemming Rules of Life and Career Management: #8 Commit to Continuous Learning

Lori Grant — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 23:18:43 +0000

Are you meeting your current job’s requirements? Do you know how to exceed them? Is your next career move on your radar screen?

To be successful in our career and in life, we must take control of our own continuous education by:

Learning new business ideas
Strengthening existing knowledge areas
Being proactive in creating a custom curriculum for our career

Research your job requirements

After graduating from my master’s program, I realized that my undergraduate and graduate programs didn’t prepare me in career management. After realizing this problem, I determined that one of the best ways to manage my career was to take initiative by learning of business areas that would help me with my existing job requirements, current career goals, and future career goal requirements.

Struggling to be an effective Marketing Manager, I researched product marketing and product management, which were areas I didn’t learn about in my political science or healthcare administration programs. After I became a department head, I read everything I could on management and leadership. Even when I became a VP, I had to do a deep dive into Sales Operations and Sales Management because my CEO needed help in these areas.

The different career stages

I also realized there were at least six different career stages required different experience, knowledge and skill set requirements. These career stages are:

New knowledge worker: first couple of years out of college or graduate school
Advanced knowledge worker: three to four years into our career
Senior knowledge worker: five+ years into our career track
Director: department head or director of a function
VP: executive level position
Entrepreneur: career change from being a knowledge worker, director, or VP

I kept mental notes of what I needed to learn for each career stage. Whenever I faced new projects in my existing job, I researched all I could on the subject, applying those lessons into my project. Most of time, I was successful on the project, adding my own value it by integrating some of the latest business ideas into my deliverables.

At any career stage, there’s always a need to grow our knowledge and skill set by learning new business areas such as sales, marketing, management, or strategy. Committing to continuous learning keeps you engaged and challenged in our job and career. It helps you discover new areas of interest that may turn into a passion play for you.

Action Items

What are job’s current job requirements? Are there any new business books that will help re-energize your current outlook on your existing job? If you know the next step in your career, do you know the job requirements of that job?

Do a gap analysis of your current knowledge, experience, and skill set to this future job. What are you missing? How can you learn more in the areas you’re deficient? Is there an opportunity to integrate this new knowledge into your current job? This helps you learn by doing under the supervision of your manager’s feedback.

To be successful in our career and in life, we must take control of continuous education by creating a custom curriculum for our career and life. We can always learn new ideas on how to be more organized at work or at home. If we’re having problems with mindfulness or spirituality, we can always research books, magazines, blogs, or podcasts to help us find our way.

All it takes is reading your first book to get over your own inertia.

Additional Reading

_____________________

Level 1: Rules for Our Fundamental Nature

Level 2: Rules of Continuous Learning and Modeling

#7 Watch or read media sources when you need inspiration. Reflect on why you like a certain movie or TV show, so you understand why it moves you.
#8 Always be learning. Continue learning through books or any source that gives you new ideas on how to approach your work or feeds your passion.
#9 Be self-aware. If you aren’t, then how will you know you’re screwing up?
#10 Accept responsibility and make peace with your decisions and the consequences of those decisions. They have created the person you are today. The trick is, do you like what you’ve created? If not, then how can you change?
#11 Keep a lid on chaos. Never let situations or emotions get away from you. Be the calm in the eye of the storm as strength, reflecting confidence for the most vulnerable people in your life.

Level 3: Rules for the Actual Journey

#12 Stay still and don’t move if you feel lost, so you can find yourself or let the opportunity find you.
#13 Always be course correcting.
#14 Surround yourself with trusted and loyal friends. Be prepared to deal with betrayal without ambivalence. But be prepare to forgive (if the person is sincere, I mean really sincere).
#15 Learn to channel your inner extrovert, if you’re an introvert. Learn to channel your inner introvert, if you’re an extrovert.

Level 4: Rules of Adapting to Environment and Interacting with Others

#16 Make peace with your weaknesses. We’re not perfect. Even your strengths will turn into weaknesses. The trick is knowing when your strength has become a weakness.
#17 Master your emotions and body language. Use them strategically in life and work.
#18 Mentor yourself via the Space Time Continuum. What would your future self tell your present self? How can you get back on track? What have you done well? What more can you do? What would you tell yourself as a child, teen, 20 or 30 something?

Level 5: Rules of Humility

#19 Never take your success for granted. Always prepare for the worst case scenarios. Be prepared for two steps forward and one step back.
#20 Be humble. Treat others well, don’t be arrogant, and don’t drink your own Kool-Aid.

Level 6: Rule of Being

#21 Be compassionate.

The Smart Lemming Rules of Life and Career Management: #7 Watch or read media sources when you need inspiration

Lori Grant — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 20:18:38 +0000

Do you strive to improve yourself? Are you self aware? Do you accept responsibility for your actions and decisions? Are you a source of strength for others?

These are the questions that reflect the nature of the second level in The Smart Lemming Rules of Life and Career Management series.

The first rule of level 2 offers ways to pursue self improvement by watching or reading media sources when you need inspiration or are processing an issue or learning why you’re drawn to specific media and don’t realize it.

Is media reflecting a need in you?

When my life feels chaotic or disorderly, I watch a Star Trek TV series. Star Trek Next Generation is one my favorite TV shows because of the strong chain of command, management, and leadership themes. I also enjoy Voyager and have learned to appreciate Enterprise, but realized that I have different reasons for watching these them. Voyager and Enterprise reflect my innate curiosity in learning how people can evolve over time in their personal lives and career.

Frankly, I’m incapable of watching any TV show without constantly seeing career management or leadership teachable moments. The only show that doesn’t trigger my inner management geek is Fringe because it takes me out of my reality. I’m too busy wondering when Olivia will return from the Other Side or if Peter and Olivia will ever get together. I can’t even watch Bones without seeing management moments between Camille and her team or personal branding lessons in Zack’s character.

Media as inspiration

Over the past year, I discovered this correlation between which media I was consuming and why it filled in a need me. I’ve learned to become mindful on why I watch a certain movie or TV show to discover what I may be processing at the subconscious level. Today, I’ll choose specific media when I’m trying to trigger a process or thought.

For example, when I’m waiting for creativity to inspire me, I watch my Winston Churchill documentary. As a renaissance man, Churchill embodies how a person can be a leader, a painter, and a writer, finding time to nurture his creative side while saving England during World War II. Personally, I think that’s so cool. I wish I had an inner Churchill to channel, but trust me, I cannot paint.

Action Items

What are you favorite movies or TV shows? Why do you like them? What need do you think they fill in you? Were you inspired or motivated by a scene? How can you watch a specific show to trigger a creative process or thought?

There are reasons why like certain movies or TV shows. The trick is being self aware enough to understand why like them and how they may affect us.

P.S. There are times when media is only entertainment. If I were you, I wouldn’t be too worried about why you love The Nightmare on Elm Street. I doubt you have a need to channel you inner Freddy Krueger or maybe you do and you just don’t know it yet.

_____________________

Level 1: Rules for Our Fundamental Nature

Level 2: Rules of Continuous Learning and Modeling

#7 Watch or read media sources when you need inspiration. Reflect on why you like a certain movie or TV show, so you understand why it moves you.
#8 Always be learning. Continue learning through books or any source that gives you new ideas on how to approach your work or feeds your passion.
#9 Be self-aware. If you aren’t, then how will you know you’re screwing up?
#10 Accept responsibility and make peace with your decisions and the consequences of those decisions. They have created the person you are today. The trick is, do you like what you’ve created? If not, then how can you change?
#11 Keep a lid on chaos. Never let situations or emotions get away from you. Be the calm in the eye of the storm as strength, reflecting confidence for the most vulnerable people in your life.

Level 3: Rules for the Actual Journey

#12 Stay still and don’t move if you feel lost, so you can find yourself or let the opportunity find you.
#13 Always be course correcting.
#14 Surround yourself with trusted and loyal friends. Be prepared to deal with betrayal without ambivalence. But be prepare to forgive (if the person is sincere, I mean really sincere).
#15 Learn to channel your inner extrovert, if you’re an introvert. Learn to channel your inner introvert, if you’re an extrovert.

Level 4: Rules of Adapting to Environment and Interacting with Others

#16 Make peace with your weaknesses. We’re not perfect. Even your strengths will turn into weaknesses. The trick is knowing when your strength has become a weakness.
#17 Master your emotions and body language. Use them strategically in life and work.
#18 Mentor yourself via the Space Time Continuum. What would your future self tell your present self? How can you get back on track? What have you done well? What more can you do? What would you tell yourself as a child, teen, 20 or 30 something?

Level 5: Rules of Humility

#19 Never take your success for granted. Always prepare for the worst case scenarios. Be prepared for two steps forward and one step back.
#20 Be humble. Treat others well, don’t be arrogant, and don’t drink your own Kool-Aid.

Level 6: Rule of Being

#21 Be compassionate.

Smart Lemming Diary: Knowing when to resign from your dream job

Lori Grant — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 18:00:07 +0000

Does telecommuting work for executives? When should you resign from your dream job? If you’re unable to perform your job, failing to meet your own expectations, should you exit?

Below is the last journal entry from when I was a VP of Sale Operations and Marketing, resigning from my dream job.

November 8, 2006

I thought that I could manage commuting between Seattle and Manhattan, but it’s not working out as I expected. For the month of October, I struggled to stay connected the Executive team. We had meetings via conference calls, where I could barely hear them over the phone. It was frustrating for me as I’m sure it was for the rest of the team.

After thinking about it for the past month on my daily walks through Central Park, I finally gave notice a couple of days ago. Before telling my CEO, I asked the Controller and CTO for their advice on how to give notice to him. Our Controller has known about my decision to leave, since I tell him everything’s that’s going on in my life. The CTO’s response was great:

After your company was acquired, I was shocked you even stayed. For me, every day you stayed was a bonus day for me.

Finally, I told my CEO that I was resigning. He took off his glasses, and then wiped away one or two tears. He was surprised at the news, because he thought I’d be there at least until the end of the year.

My little department is a well oiled machine, so I assured him that everything would be fine without me.

Food for Thought

I learned that there are times we must resign from your dream job. If you’re unable to perform your job to your own requirements, then you should exit.

I’ve also learned that telecommuting didn’t work in my case. In early stage companies, managers and leaders rely on impromptu meetings or quick talks in the hallway. Missing closed door talks, I no longer participated in critical conversations. These absences signaled to me that it was time to leave, despite how much I loved my work.

Debriefing

Unfortunately, things didn’t go well for my CEO and Executive team members. In May 2007, I received an email from one of my Marketing team members, asking me to be a reference because the company went out of business. I had to re-read the email several times just to make sure I read it correctly.

I called my former Product Marketing Manager to confirm the news, and then tried to call my other Executive team members. I finally got through to Controller, who told me of the operational issue that sunk the company. I left a message for my CEO, but knew he was too busy taking care of the crisis. All I kept thinking was how easy it is for a founder to lose all that they have worked for because of one act, by one employee.

Before the disaster hit, my CEO and Executive team were so close to being acquired. The exit strategy was nearly complete, and then the tragedy struck. I was heartbroken for my peers, but mostly for my CEO.

Post Mort-em

I’ll never experience another work environment like the one I had with my CEO’s company. I have nothing but fond memories of my peers and my Marketing team. I have no regrets, except I wish I could have been there during the crisis. But there is a reason for everything. Looking back, I wasn’t supposed to be there during that time.

I’ve checked in with former colleagues. They’ve mostly healed since May 2007. We all agree that the time we spent together was special and unique. From my perspective, it’s rare to find coworkers who as you bring out the best in you. If I work for another company, I hope to find a similar work culture, mimicking the one my CEO and our Executive team members created.

It’s not very often I have the privilege of working with such a noble man. I’ll always be grateful to my CEO for plucking me out of obscurity, having unshakable confidence in me, and allowing me express my management and leadership ideas. His company changed my life; it was the capstone on a career that I had worked on since 1997.

Like all of his other former employees say, “I would work for him again in a heartbeat.”

The Smart Lemming Diary is a series that chronicles a journey of laid-off worker, who becomes a Vice President of Sales Operations & Marketing for a small entrepreneurial healthcare technology company. For previous entries in this series, click here. For the first diary entry, click here. For the highlighted Smart Lemming Diary entries, click here.