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Green Cleaning Products: Buy Them In The Store, Make Them At Home

2009-10-19T19:01:52-04:00

By Michael Cravens

Next time you pull out your rubber gloves and bucket of cleaning supplies, take a second and look at the labels on the bottles.

Do you see a list of ingredients? In most cases, the answer is no. And if there is a list, it's a very limited one.

That's because the companies that make these products are widely unregulated by the government. They're not required to list the ingredients in their products and many of the cleaning products on the market contain a wide array of harmful chemicals.

Chemicals like bleach, chlorine, and phosphates can cause environmental and health problems over time. Especially when you breath in and rub into eating surfaces.

Green In The Store
There’s been a huge push in the cleaning products industry over the past few years to "go green." New companies like Seventh Generation, Simple Green and Better Life now offer consumers the choice of cleaning products free of harmful, toxic chemicals.

But green cleaning products come with their negatives as well as their positives.

The Upside of Green

Green products clean and sanitize just as well as products containing harsher chemicals. You’ve probably heard the hype that antibacterial soaps and cleaners are breeding a new generation of "super germs." Though the evidence in support of this is inconclusive, why use cleaners with unnecessary ingredients if you don’t have to?

According to the Center For Disease Control And Prevention, "Antibacterial-containing products have not been proven to prevent the spread of infection better than products that do not contain antibacterial chemicals." Meaning that your kitchen counters are just as sanitary whether your cleaner has antibacterial ingredients or not.

Green products are better for you and the environment. Chemicals commonly found cleaners have been linked to a variety of health concerns, including asthma in children and cancers. Additionally, the chemical phosphate (found in detergents) has been proven to cause excess algae growth in oceans and rives.

The Downside of Green

Green products are usually more expensive, sometimes costing up to twice as much as their not-so-eco-friendly counterparts.

Green products require extra elbow grease. Because they don’t contain the chemicals like bleach, it takes a little extra scrubbing on your part to achieve the same level of "visual cleanliness."

Green products are harder to find. Most supermarkets don’t carry a wide selection of green cleaning products. Which means you may have to go to a specialty store to find the products you’re looking for. (As a side note, one convenient solution to the "hard to find" problem is a website called Alice.com. Alice sells thousands of household essentials online, and you can narrow your search using their lifestyle filter for green/organic products only. )

Green At Home
Another alternative to harmful chemical and costly green cleaners are solutions you make at home. You can clean just about any surface using a mixture of white distilled vinegar, baking soda and water. And these ingredients are 100% natural and safe for you and the environment.

MSN’s lifestyle section features a fantastic article that shows you how to use combinations of common household items likes lemons, cooking oils, toothpaste, salt and more to clean everything from wicker furniture to you fine china. There are too many to list here, so check out the full article for all the recipes.

Green at Sitters.com
Sitters.com includes listings for people looking for housekeeping jobs. Many of these service providers will supply their own green cleaning supplies!

Seven Tips for Backpack Safety

2009-09-29T10:00:00-04:00

By Michael Cravens

When you were in school, how did you wear your backpack? On one shoulder? Worn high? Hanging low? When I think back, I used to bring home a bunch of books and I'm sure it strained my back!

These days, kids have many options for backpacks. Over this past summer, I had my son, Ethan, pick out a backpack and I ordered it online. When the backpack came in he noted that it had wheels. I was just trying to save his back a little strain but apparently wheels are not currently in style. The day was saved when I found a set of 'hidden' straps that he could use to put the backpack on his - back.

So I decided to do some research to find out the proper way for children to wear their backpacks. Ethan may not appreciate it now, but I want to prevent him from getting shoulder, neck and back pain later in life. Trends may come and go, but what doesn't change is the proper way for children to wear their backpacks. Turns out that kids routinely carrying a heavy backpack load can put pressure on children's forming spines and can lead to neck and back problems.

Dr. Chad Parsons of the Advanced Corrective Chiropractic in Lansdowne, Virginia warns parents of the adverse affects of overloaded, improperly worn backpacks. "Wearing backpacks incorrectly causes postural abnormalities in children," says Parsons. "Abnormalities that can eventually lead to scoliosis. More often, backpacks which are too heavy and worn improperly cause anterior head syndrome, resulting in neck strain and headaches.

According to Parsons, unevenly distributed weight causes children to list to the left or right, causing an unnatural curve of the spine. And too much weight puts pressure on their shoulders, which leads to spinal compression, hunching over and poor posture.

In the spirit of injury prevention, National School Backpack Awareness Day is held on the third Wednesday of every September. Here are some tips from the American Chiropractic Association for preventing backpack related injuries.

Are your children's backpacks too heavy? Look for the following signs:

They struggle to lift and put their backpack on.
They lean forward to compensate for the weight.
They lean backward to compensate for the weight.
There are red marks on their shoulders where their backpack straps are digging in.

The proper way for your children to wear their backpacks: Tips from the American Chiropractic Association

Make sure your child's backpack weighs no more than 10 to 15 percent of his or her body weight. A heavier backpack will cause your child to bend forward in an attempt to support the weight on his or her back, rather than on the shoulders, by the straps.
The backpack should never hang more than four inches below the waistline. A backpack that hangs too low increases the weight on the shoulders, causing your child to lean forward when walking.
A backpack with individualized compartments helps in positioning the contents most effectively. Place the heaviest items in the main compartment, closest to your child's back.
Bigger is not necessarily better. The more room there is in a backpack, the more your child may carry-and the heavier the backpack will be.
Urge your child to wear both shoulder straps. Lugging the backpack around by one strap can cause the disproportionate shift of weight to one side, leading to neck and muscle spasms, as well as low-back pain.
Wide, padded straps are very important. Non-padded straps are uncomfortable, and can dig into your child's shoulders.
The shoulder straps should be adjustable so the backpack can be fitted to your child's body. Straps that are too loose can cause the backpack to dangle uncomfortably and cause spinal misalignment and pain.

"Remember," Parsons tells parents. "It's easier to correct and prevent spine problems when your kids are young and their bones are not yet fully formed."

For more information check out the American Chiropractic Association's consumer health tips.

Make Sure You're Not Feeding Your Pet Junk Food

2009-09-18T11:00:01-04:00

By Christina Zulandi

Remember the pet food scare of 2007? Hundreds of dogs and cats died of complications officials speculated were tied to rat poison in pet foods manufactured overseas. And for a while pet owners were particularly aware of the brands they bought, where they were manufactured, what ingredients they contained, and so on. With good reason! Pet foods don’t require pre-market approval from the FDA before they’re sold to the public. And because of that, a lot of what goes into your dog and cat’s food is … well … junk.

My dog was still a puppy back in 2007. I really felt for the people that lost their pets and was also concerned about my own dog! When I looked into pet food, I found that there are a lot of pet foods out there that are equivelent to junk food! I want my family to get proper nutrition daily so that they grow up healthy and strong - so I don't feed them fast food for every meal (or even close)! Sadly, a lot of pet food on the market is equivalent to just that: fast food all day, everyday.

The good news is that you don't have to spend tons of money on fancy, organic, all-natural dog and cat food. These types of pet food often cost significantly more and aren't always better. I've included some tips below on choosing the best quality pet food for your furry friends while keeping within your budget.

Separating the nutritious food from the downright atrocious comes down to deciphering the nutrition labels on the bags. Just like you know to avoid certain ingredients (like high-fructose corn syrup and partial hydrogenated oils, for example) in your family’s food, there are a few basic pet food ingredients you want to be on the look out for as well. The Dog Food Project is a great resource to get unbiased help on reading pet food labels. I give the bigger take-aways below but check out their site for more detail.

Reading pet food nutrition labels: What you want, and what you want to avoid at all costs

Go to the ingredients list and start by finding the source of fat. All ingredients before the fat source make up the bulk of the food.
Whole chicken, beef, lamb or fish seem like good first ingredients, but you don't want to base your decision just on the order of the ingredients. Just because they are listed first doesn’t actually mean they’re main ingredient. When initially added these ingredients contain mostly water. But when they get dehydrated the end product may represent only trivial amounts of meat.
The best first ingredients are chicken meal, beef meal, lamb meal or fish meal because they’re added in their already dehydrated state.
Avoid by-products whenever possible. If you need to go with pet food that contains by-products, stick with chicken by-product or beef by-product and be sure to avoid meat by-product.
Since there are no strict regulations in place for pet food, ingredients labeled meat and animal can mean just about anything. Avoid pet foods with these type of generic terms. (If it's a quality ingredient, the manufacturer will be specific.)
Avoid pet foods that contain meat-and-bone meal.
Avoid pet foods that contain corn and brewers rice or make sure that they are low on the list of ingredients.

Let’s look at an example. The following lists are the ingredients (up to the fat source) on the last two bags of dog food I bought:
- Lamb meal, cracked pearled barley, oatmeal, ground rice, chicken fat.
- Lamb meal, brewers rice, ground wheat, wheat germ meal, lamb, brown rice, animal fat.

As you can see, the second list contains brewers rice and animal fat; both of which aren’t optimal ingredients. Both of the bags cost about $30 for a 40 pound bag. You can spend more to get food with even better ingredients. But the main point is that without spending any more money, I was able to distinguish and pick the good pet food over the junk pet food - without spending any more money. The best part is that, in the long run, I'm likely to save hundreds in vet bills by giving my pet proper nutrition.

Ingredients are not the only thing to consider in pet foods. Other factors like moisture content and preservatives play a role. Check out The Dog Food Project for details on deciphering pet food labels.

Pay Attention to Radon

2009-09-08T10:33:14-04:00

By Mike Cravens, CEO, Sitters.com

About a month ago I came across an article by the World Health Organization outlining the dangers of indoor radon exposure. The article caught my attention because the World Health Organization states that radon causes up to 15% of lung cancers worldwide. And, according to the US Environmental Protection Agency, radon is the leading cause of lung cancer among nonsmokers in America, as well as the second leading cause of lung cancer overall. Radon claims about 21,000 lives annually.

So what is radon? You can't see, smell or taste it. It is a gas that is produced from the natural decay of uranium, an element found in nearly all soils. Radon usually moves up through the ground to the air above and into your home through cracks and other holes in the foundation. The home then traps radon inside. When inhaled, radon can actually damage the DNA of lung tissue by continuing to emit tiny bursts of alpha radiation.

What you need to do. If you haven't conducted a radon test, the EPA recommends that every homeowner should get this done without delay. If you have conducted a test, the EPA recommends that you conduct another one if it has been more than two years since your last test, made structural changes to your home, or began occupying a previously unused level of a house.

The good news is that the tests are easy to maintain and easy to conduct. You can find a radon test at your local hardware store or online at Amazon.com. You can also purchase a radon gas detector and monitor. I decided to go with a radon monitor because radon levels can spike and vary based on many factors. My home tested at 7.4 pCi/L (pico Curies per Liter).

What's a safe level? In the residential real estate market there is a perception that 4 pCi/L is safe. According to the EPA, the safe level is between 2 pCi/L and 4 pCi/L. A family whose home has radon levels of 4 pCi/L is exposed to approximately 35 times as much radiation as the Nuclear Regulatory Commission would allow if that family was standing next to the fence of a radioactive waste site!

A reading at 4 pCi/L or higher needs to be addressed. The EPA has a risk factor scale that illustrates the risk of radon. At 4 pCi/L 8 out of 1,000 people will get lung cancer from exposure to radon. At 10 pCi/L that risk goes up to 18 out of 1,000 people. And for smokers, the risk at 10 pCi/L increases substantially to 150 in 1,000 people.

If you confirm that you have an elevated radon level, there are several methods that a contractor can use to lower radon levels in your home.The cost of installing a radon reduction system in a home generally ranges from $800 to $2,500 (with an average cost of $1,200). Your costs may vary depending on the size and design of your home and which radon reduction methods are needed.

Unlike conducting a radon test, the process to lower radon levels requires specific technical knowledge and skills; the EPA recommends hiring a qualified radon mitigation contractor to do the work. (The EPA also warns that without the proper equipment or technical knowledge, you could actually increase the radon level.)

The most common method of radon reduction is called soil suction. This method prevents radon from entering your home by drawing the radon from below the house and venting it through a pipe, or pipes, to the air above the house where it is quickly diluted.

Other methods for radon reduction include sealing cracks and other openings in the foundation. (The EPA does not recommend the use of sealing alone to reduce radon because, by itself, sealing has not been shown to lower radon levels significantly or consistently.)

House/room pressurization uses a fan to blow air into the basement or living area from either upstairs or outdoors. It attempts to create enough pressure at the lowest level indoors (in a basement for example) to prevent radon from entering into the house.

A heat recovery ventilator (HRV), also called an air-to-air heat exchanger, can be installed to increase ventilation which will help reduce the radon levels in your home. An HRV will increase ventilation by introducing outdoor air while using the heated or cooled air being exhausted to warm or cool the incoming air.

And, finally, some natural ventilation occurs in all houses. By opening windows, doors, and vents on the lower floors you increase the ventilation in your house. This increase in ventilation mixes outdoor air with the indoor air containing radon, and can result in reduced radon levels. However, once windows, doors and vents are closed, radon concentrations most often return to previous values within about 12 hours. Natural ventilation in any type of house should normally be regarded as only a temporary radon reduction approach.

Other Resources
EPA Checklist for Hiring a Qualified Contractor

EPA's Radon Website

Information About How to Contact Your State Radon Office

Example Instructions on How to Conduct a Radon Test

Six Tips to Reduce the Stress of Leaving Your Infant for the First Time

2009-09-03T08:00:00-04:00

By Christina Zulandi

"I'm not coming," I hear the shaky voice on the other end of the phone tell me. "I just can't leave her. Not yet."

That was Jill three weeks ago when she backed out of our plans for a "girls night out." Her daughter, Ashley, was 13 weeks old at the time, and this was the first night Jill had planned to be away from her.

No big deal; I understood of course. I think all moms (and dads) would understand! Fact is, whether you're a working mom or stay-at-home mom, it's inevitable: you will leave your baby for the first time, sometime.

Leaving your newborn can be one of the most stressful parts of being a new parent: you'll likely feel guilty, anxious, worried and scared. And whether you're gone for five minutes or five hours, your baby will be on your mind the whole time.

What if he or she gets hungry? What if he cries and no one hears him? What if whoever is watching him doesn't understand what he wants? Will he sit in a dirty diaper? Will he go to bed on time? Will he get the love and attention he needs?

The truth is everyone deals with leaving their infant for the first time differently. While some parents are anxious and call every hour, others are simply happy for a break, no matter how short it may be.

Neither way is right or wrong. And the good news is that it gets easier every time. Here are six tips to make leaving your infant for the first time easier and less stressful than you ever imagined:

Start in small time increments. This is especially helpful if you're going back to work. The eight hours you spend at the office will probably feel more like eight days. So if you know you'll have to leave your baby for long periods at a time, try to start small. Run to the grocery store. Run to the bank. Do something quick the first time around and slowly build up to those longer stretches.
Leave when your baby is sleeping. Leaving when your baby is awake and looking at you increases the guilt and anxiety you already feel. So if your care provider's schedule is flexible, put your baby down and sneak out while he or she is snoozing. Your baby might not even know you were gone until you get back.
Pump extra. If you're breast feeding, pump extra to leave behind. Because your baby relies on you for everything he or she needs, you may feel like your abandoning him or her the first time you leave. You're not; don't feel guilty. Pumping extra will help you stay calm if anything (like traffic, for example) keeps you from getting home on schedule. So plan ahead for peace of mind; you can store your milk for up to a week in the refrigerator and six months in the freezer.
Leave your baby with a loved one. If you're concerned your baby won't get the love and attention he or she needs while you're gone, you're not alone. Most new parents worry as much or more about their babies' emotional needs than their physical ones. To contend with this worry, leave your baby with a relative or with a good friend the first time you go.

Of course, not everyone is fortunate enough to have parents or loved ones close by. So remember that Sitters.com has built-in tools that allow you to screen every care provider's profile for the exact experience and qualities that match for your child and his or her specific needs. (Not to mention complete access to background checks and our All-Mom Editorial Team.)
Call home. You're baby will be on your mind; there's no getting around that. Calling home will keep you from worrying and give you the peace of mind you need to focus on your work or to have a good time. And don't worry about being “annoying” or “paranoid.” Any good sitter will understand your concerns and happily update you on your baby's status.
Now relax and have a good time. Enjoying yourself isn't selfish, and it doesn't make you a bad parent. Take this time away to do something enjoyable for yourself. Reconnect with your husband, go to the gym - just get out and do something for yourself. This will help make your first time away from your infant a more pleasant experience. In fact, you'll be surprised how renewed and refreshed this little “break” can make you if you follow these tips and cut the stress out of your first time away from your newborn.

Avoid Raising a Mamma's Boy

2009-09-01T10:16:07-04:00

By Mike Cravens, CEO, Sitters.com

Mamma's boys. We all know at least one. I hear women talk about bad dates with this type of guy; having to listen to him talk about his mom during an entire dinner. Some mamma's boys have their mother make all of the decisions for him. We all love our mother and most of us have a healthy relationship with our parents. However, mamma's boys have unhealthy relationship issues with their mother that tend to start at a young age and develop into serious issues later in life.

I ran into one earlier this summer. I watched this guy lose his mind over perceived disrespect to his mother. Turns out that a full seven months had past between the "incident" and this guy's temper tantrum. Putting all details aside, if the "incident" was as terrible as this guy made it out to be, why would he let seven months go by without saying anything? The reality is that there was no incident. The guy is a mamma's boy and acted out with the typical emotional immaturity that all mamma's boys seem to possess.

I pondered how this guy turned into what he is today. When it comes to his mother, he lies, exaggerates, spreads rumors, and looks at anyone interacting with his mother as threatening. How the heck did this guy grow up to become so insecure? I decided to do some research to find out and, more importantly, to share with you how we can avoid the same pitfalls.

Turns out that mamma's boys have a tendency to overreact in general, but when it comes their mother, they get extremely irrational. Momma's boys tend to let their insecurity manifest into anger and lash out against people in unfounded bursts. Being aware that such behavior is not normal, they tend to justify their actions by exaggerating the reasons for their outbursts. Their families, having grown up with this type of behavior, tend to brush it off with comments like, "He's always been this way about mom." The reality is that this type of person will only gain emotional maturity when their families hold him accountable and when he learns to apologize rather than justify.

So how can we go about not raising a mamma's boy? Dr. Maria Kelly, a pediatric professor at the University of Florida explains that a mother can consciously practice some male code behaviors. In doing so, it is important for mothers to realize that males and females deal with situations and environments differently. "This is normal, and she should not try to feminize normal male-patterned behavior," says Dr. Kelly. "For example, she should try not to solve problems for him, and she should encourage him to develop his 'manly' ways to resolve his issues."

Keep in mind that we're not talking about a normal bond that mothers and sons share. The unhealthy relationship that can manifest into a mamma's boy situation is a mother having a closeness with her son in order to fill a void. "Although one can argue either way, a strong parental bond is essential for success in today's stressful world," says Dr. Kelly. "A good maternal relationship with children, whether male or female, should be based on parental consistency, patience, open communication and, especially, love. These parental virtues are the most successful at developing a psychologically competent child in an at-times difficult world."

For starters, help your son develop his own identity. Your son should have his own interests, hobbies, and friends that do not require constant input from mom. Your son having some time away from mom is healthy and should be encouraged.

Just about every mom experiences loneliness from time to time but a mom should not become dependent on her son to fill a void. Attend baseball practice, scouts, and school field trips but also take time for yourself.

As your son gets older, do not interfere in your son's love life. Provide limited input without prying and be happy for your son when he's happy.

Allow your son to make important decisions on his own. You've raised a strong, confident, and smart thinker. He'll stumble from time to time but in the end he will do the right thing. Making his own decisions increases self esteem and leads to a healthier mother-son relationship.

Please feel free to post your comments below and share your story.

Autism Awareness

2009-06-05T17:13:20-04:00

By Mike Cravens, CEO, Sitters.com

I attended a charity event this past Saturday evening called “Black, White, and Candlelight” and the purpose of the event was to raise autism awareness and to raise money for two charities.

The first organization is called Autism Speaks and they are dedicated to funding global biomedical research into the causes, prevention, treatments, and cure for autism; to raising public awareness about autism and its effects on individuals, families, and society; and to bringing hope to all who deal with the hardships of autism. The second organization is The Arc of Loudoun. They are a local charity that focuses on securing the full range of human and civil rights for persons with intellectual disabilities and related developmental disabilities. They help families in our area with education, housing, vocation and healthcare.

Sitters.com was one of the proud sponsors of the event and I’m really happy we decided to help with these charities. Having been a part of planning several events myself, I know that many people don’t realize how much time and effort it takes to pull off a successful event, especially a charity event! The organizers are usually volunteers who work a lot of hours with little thanks. The organizers did a great job of educating the attendees about autism and raising money. They provided a great dinner, an impressive list of silent auction items, and for the energetic folks – a DJ and dance floor. The event was held at and sponsored by The Golf Club at Lansdowne. They provided great food, service, and plenty of indoor and outdoor space for everyone. And the Professional Staff – from the Membership Director to the Director of Golf – worked to make this event extraordinary.

One of the presenters talked about her autistic son. Since autism is a complex neurobiological disorder that impairs a person’s ability to communicate and relate to others, her son has had problems with making friends. It was a very touching story and I could see the pain she feels as she described her son, now 22, having a great desire to make friends – and yet failing time and time again. What’s even more touching is her dedication to autism research. Sure, her son has autism and she’s handling that. But what I love is that she literally changed her life and career to focus on finding solutions.

I thought I knew what autism is before attending this event. After listening to the presentations, I quickly realized that I am pretty much in the dark when it comes to autism. I was shocked to find out that 1 in every 150 children (and 1 in 94 boys) are diagnosed with autism and that more children will be diagnosed with autism this year than with AIDS, diabetes, and cancer combined. And, although autism has become more prevalent over the past few years, it receives less than five percent of research funding allocated towards childhood diseases. Wow! These are charities that are really making a difference!

This event was top-notch and even though the event sold out this year (pretty impressive for the first year), hopefully the event can grow even larger next year.

Visit the following sites for more information about autism. These resources provide education on autism, support, and opportunities to get involved.
Autism Speaks
Autism Society of America
Autism Research Institute
AutismOne
Generation Rescue

Please feel free to post your comments below and share other resources.

Using Social Networking to Find a Lost Pet

2009-05-28T20:51:13-04:00

By Mike Cravens, CEO, Sitters.com

My wife, Christina, and I have a Maltese named Kisses. The dog is really her dog; a gift for her birthday about 4 years ago. I like taking the dog out for walks but that name kind of gets in the way. When I stop to talk to neighbors, it’s hard enough having a 4 pound white fluffy dog at my side - but then I have to tell them that her name is Kisses – not good. My solution was to ‘nickname’ her Killer. At least the nickname gets a laugh or two.

Kisses/Killer loves Christina. That dog literally follows her everywhere, right at her heals. So image my horror when I let the dog out back one day and then forgot about her for several hours. She had taken off and was nowhere to be found. I realized two things at that moment. First, I didn’t really want to know the consequence of losing Christina’s dog. Second, I really had no idea what to do. I drove around the neighborhood and asked the neighbors to watch for her. I spend a lot of time looking for that dog but I never found her. The good news is that she showed up at our front door two days later. Phew.

That was 3 years ago. Back then I didn’t have a blog, wasn’t on Facebook, and did Twitter exist yet? Earlier today I had a neighbor knock on my door asking if I had seen her 4-month old puppy. This family has watched Kisses several times for us while we’ve been out of town and decided to get a puppy based, at least partially, on their good experience with having Kisses around. So I really wanted to help.

I got started by again going around the neighborhood yelling out the puppy’s name. Then I had a thought… I wondered if I could use my connections on social media sites to get the word out and help find this puppy. There is an entrepreneur right in our neighborhood that started a social network just for our community. It’s www.lansdowneliving.com. I got the puppy’s owner to send me a picture and then posted the details about the lost puppy on www.lansdowneliving.com. An email went out to all of the members. I then jumped on Facebook to contact everyone in my community but before I even finished that email, a lady contacted me to let me know that she had found the puppy. Turns out that a local dog walker from Woofies (Woofies .com) had found the puppy and took care of her while trying to locate the owner.

So what should you do if you lost a pet?
The first thing you should do is take a few minutes to get prepared. Write down the last time you saw your pet, get a photo in a format that you can email, and get the cross street that is closest to your house (or where the pet was lost).

If you have a homeowner’s association, contact them and ask them to help you get the word out.
If you’re a member of Facebook, send a message to all of the people you are connected to that live in your neighborhood. Be sure to include a link to a photo of your pet.
Check to see if your community has a site like LansdowneLiving.com, contact them and ask them to help you get the word out.
Use MS Word or a similar program to create a flyer. Include a photo, your name and phone number, the pet’s name, and the location where the pet was lost. Distribute the flyer to local businesses.
And if the postman/lady is around, ask them if they have seen your pet. If not, hand them a flyer.

I hope you never have to use the tips in this post, but if you do, getting the word out quickly to your social network contacts could really make a difference.

Interview with Kimberley Clayton Blaine

2009-05-11T09:08:04-04:00

By Mike Cravens, CEO, Sitters.com

As you probably know by now, we often feature Kimberley Clayton Blaine in our blog. Kimberley runs The Go-To Mom (www.thegotomom.tv) and offers great advice on parenting. This week’s post features an interview with Kimberley on her new book!

Interview Q & A with Kimberley Clayton Blaine, Author of Mommy Confidence: 8 Easy Steps to Reclaiming Balance, Motivation and Your Inner Diva

Why did you write this book?
I wrote Mommy Confidence as an easy step-by-step guide to help a mom accept all aspects of her mommyhood - whether she is a full-time mom, works outside the home, or is an entrepreneur. There are so many hidden feelings—attitudes that a lot of women have in common about being a mom—but for some reason we don’t share them or verbalize them with each other.

My steps help a mommy get back on track to being her true, authentic self. The self that most women think they have lost or could probably never attain. I believe that if all women band together and stop competing we can gracefully transition into motherhood without incorporating all the unrealistic ideals that society has preserved over the years.

Moms often hear they need to cut things out of their schedules to manage life better, but you say something different. Tell us about that.
Yes, simplifying makes life a lot easier, especially on an over-burdened mommy. However, I believe moms need to do more than just cut things out. A well-balanced mom will find more motivation engaging in the things that bring her vitality, if she actually takes the time to do so. Taking a short break is not enough. Moms need to actively seek out former self-care activities they used to do before they had children.

You encourage mothers to fake confidence and you give a very funny example in your book about how you fake it. How does faking confidence work? If you keep telling someone something with conviction, over and over again, he or she will eventually believe it. It’s the concept of brainwashing, but for us I’ll call it brain pampering! Believe me, it works. I’m my own worst critic. I find the most beneficial time for me to fake-it is when I find everyday conversations and thoughts are overtaken with self-pity or negativity. Self-denigration is toxic and stops the body from allowing good energy to flow.

Apparently you are a type-A mom and are very vocal about how you don’t do things perfectly as a mom, so how did you narrow your steps down to eight? Do you practice all eight steps yourself?
Yes, I invented the steps! I consider myself a very confident women, however, I still need resources and a good support system to maintain my mommy well-being. I often live by the steps especially when I fall off the mommy wagon. For example, sometimes I get into a slump and need to refresh my mommy soul. The eight steps are a good place to start. A mom can add her own steps as well. All mommies need a "pick-me-up" every now and then or something to motivate her to become a fulfilled woman again -- that’s what the book does.

Your book has some unique advice and an innovative perspective. For example, you mention that mommy competition can affect a mom’s self-esteem. Can you tell us more about that?
The more women continue the cycle of female or mommy competition the less chance we have to build a universal female support system. Women need women. Little girls need to be taught to celebrate the successes of other girls while still embracing their differences. If women support other women, and I mean confident women, then our daughters will learn that there is no place for clique-ish, catty behavior and that others who exceed far beyond us shall be applauded. This stance starts in the home and is taught by mothers.

By adhering to the concept of "Women as a team" we begin to break the traditional roles for women in the workplace. Women don't hire other women in today’s current economy. Men hire women. I truly believe that once women begin to support one another, then we can move up the corporate ladder more easily and frequently. If I were a CEO you better bet I’d hire a woman for an executive position! And if she were a mom it would be even more likely.

The Go-To Mom is a great name. How did you come up with it?
At first it was kind of a joke. Many moms call on me -- whether they are looking for the right birthday present, when to start their baby on cheerios, or how to tame the toddler tantrum. So naturally, The Go-To Mom fit. I knew it was the right title when I was helping my girlfriend register at one of those huge baby super stores, and I found that we had a trail of moms following us around to hear my reviews on the all products.

The Go-To Mom.TV is a webshow for parents with young children and is syndicated on the Internet to a very large audience. How did you get into that? Is that your main business?
Yes, my main mission is to educate American parents about the best child rearing practices. The Go-To Mom's mission is to give parents invaluable information in a short period of time. I'm a specialist in non-coercive, non-aggressive parenting, and I am a hands-on mom. I teach moms and dads the basics of parenting through relationship. Most of us have been taught parenting through coercion which is not only ineffective but is damaging to a child. I advise parents to review how they were parented, so that they don’t repeat the same mistakes. From my perspective, parenting through relationship is not a strategy but a philosophy.

Tell us three things that we don’t know about The Go-To Mom. Charm us.

I have a foundation for children of trauma. I plan on spending the rest of my life advocating for children who don’t have a voice or choice.
I love cars that have tires with shiny 19-inch rims.
I would of love to have been a retro pin-up girl model in the 50’s.

Please feel free to post comments and questions for Kimberley.

Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, MFT is a national parenting expert and a licensed Family and Child Therapist who specializes in working with children ages newborn to six years old. Kimberley is the founder and executive producer of a grassroots webshow, called www.TheGoToMom.TV. Kimberley is a national speaker and teaches Early Childhood Brain Development and Positive Discipline Strategies at UCLA Extension Education Department.

For more information on Kimberley’s book, Mommy Confidence: 8 Easy Steps to Reclaiming Balance, Motivation and Your Inner Diva visit www.MommyConfidence.com.

Planning for Summer Child Care

2009-05-04T14:40:05-04:00

By Mike Cravens, CEO, Sitters.com

It’s hard to believe, but summer is almost here! I'm sure all of us have special summer memories. Mine include playing endless baseball in the backyard (and constant debates about our very fluid rules), the pool, flashlight tag, and staying up late as many nights as possible. These days summer means planning ahead to ensure that my son gets into the camps he wants. I also have to line up childcare to cover the hours between when camp lets out and when I get home.

If you're also a parent that needs to line up summer care the good news is that there are tons of options. Everything from summer camps through hiring a full-time care provider are options available in most areas. I have my son, Ethan, going to the same camp that he's attended over the past three summers. Ethan is 8 this year and I found it interesting that he thought ahead to lobby me for a couple of additional camps. So this year he's also going to a baseball camp for a week and an afternoon golf camp. I also have an afternoon sitter lined up for days when camp gets out before I can get out of the office. (Yes, of course I found my sitter on Sitters.com!)

If you're looking for summer care, it's time to get started. Here are a few things I looked at before signing Ethan up for his camps.

Summer Camps. There are numerous community and private day camps for children that are fun and educational. But high demand means camps fill up fast. Start your search early. I found Ethan's camp just by driving by a local church; they had a huge banner on the side of the road. Another good way to find a good summer camp is to ask other parents and call up their school and ask if they have any suggestions. If you decide to go with a summer camp, make sure you find a camp with activities that your child will enjoy. I have some friends that had to pull their child out of camp because it wasn't a good match. They then had to scrambled to find last minute full-time care. Ethan's camp includes arts and crafts, field trips, swimming, and sports - all the things he loves to do.

Start a Playgroup. Try to organize a few moms in your area to create a playgroup. Each play group sets their own rules but typically the idea is that each mom takes care of the children for one week. So, if the playgroup has four kids, which is a realistic number for most moms, you will give one week of childcare and receive three weeks. This arrangement works well if you trust the other moms and feel comfortable leaving your child with them for six to eight hours each day. Sitters.com also offers a good way to connect with other parents in your area - it's called Care Share. Sitters.com members use Care Share to meet other families in their area and join together to share care providers or exchange care services.

Hire a Teen. High school and college students are also home during the summer and many of them will be happy to earn some extra cash. Most of these students post their availability on Sitters.com. Also, Sitters.com offers access to background checks, references, reviews, and advice - so you will be able to find a qualified care provider that fits your schedule.

Please feel free to post your comments below and share your thoughts on finding summer care!