The first performance of the Last Night Of The Poms tour was held at the Royal Albert Hall in London yesterday. With the monologues, by both Sir Les and Dame Edna, being well received it seems that reviewers took a dislike to the musical passages.

A dishevelled Sir Les continually sprayed the front row with spittle as he swigged from a whiskey glass and remarked of the poor weather outside: “dampness is not always a bad thing is it fellas?” Claiming to have been as “busy as a Baghdad bricklayer” this gaudy buffoon gave The Secret Policeman’s Ball a run for its money when it came to subjecting the regal surrounds of the Albert Hall to filth and puerility. It was joyous to behold but so sadly short.

The Independent

The first [half] opens with an irresistible 10 minutes from Sir Les, who refines slobbering into an artform: the laughs flow according to the height hit by his spittle as it arcs towards the front row. It isn’t sophisticated, but it’s brilliantly disrespectful – as are Sir Les’s unreconstructed jokes about “little Thai sheilas” and Peter Mandelson’s urologist. So it feels plain wrong when Patterson’s patter cedes to his Prokofiev parody, Peter and the Shark. Neither the text, nor the music is funny – and the style of each is cramped by the other.

The Guardian

After a sweeping overture conducted by Carl Davis, Barry Humphries appeared in the guise of Sir Les Patterson, cultural attaché extraordinaire, dribbling more than a Roy Hattersley Spitting Image puppet. Patterson is a magnificent monster and his 75-year-old creator was on filthily fine form, insulting the stony-faced Sheilas in the front row and boorishly berating latecomers.

This is London

In support, Humphries’s cultural attaché Sir Les Patterson suffers the same problems. His musical piece is Peter And The Shark, an Australianised version of the Prokofiev piece, with various instruments illustrating various characters drawn from antipodean fauna in a tedious gag-light story, slowed to a wearying pace by the soloists’ interludes.

Yet again, when he’s left to his own devices, Patterson’s a delight. Sure, a lot of the comedy comes from Strine slang such as ‘budgie smugglers’ for Speedos or other cheap innuendo, but he does it excellently, with all the exaggerated flair of a pantomime grotesque.

But mostly, he’s funny for no more sophisticated reason that the arching waterfalls of phlegm that spew from his mouth and over the audience every time he hits a plosive ‘p’ sound, which seems to occur with undue frequency. If the front row had dipped into the Royal Albert Hall merely to avoid the downpour outside, they would have found themselves more drenched inside the building than out.

Chortle: The UK Comedy Guide

It started well with Les Patterson delivering 15 minutes of the kind of filth we have grown to love him for – but then it all went wrong. He then proceeded to deliver a rambling monologue, accompanied by a full orchestra, about a story called “Peter and the Shark”. It wasn’t funny, it wasn’t memorable. In fact, it wasn’t anything.

Iain Dale’s Diary

• Sydney Opera House, Sydney – Monday December 14th
• Sydney Opera House, Sydney – Tuesday December 15th
• The Arts Centre, Melbourne – Wednesday December 16th

Due to the size of the production it could only be staged in arenas, instead of the more traditional theatre circuit for such a show. The tour could come back next year albeit scaled down.

I’ve always thought of myself as a northern comedian, because the further north I go the more comfortable I tend to feel.

Barry says that Sir Les has yet to make an appearance on American soil.

I’ve not really tried him out on the Americans yet, because Les has a kind of music hall vulgarity that might offend the survivors of Plymouth Rock, the inheritors of that Puritan tradition. Every now and then, I look into an American audience and right at the back I can see some tall black hats.

Sir Les, being a diplomat, just wants to increase the bond between England and Australia.

He doesn’t feel you need to know anything more about culture, so he’s concentrating on cheese. He’s chairman of the Australian Cheese Board and he does a lot of cheese promotion. He will be discussing cheese in the presence of a full orchestra when he comes to Manchester. His recommendation? Tasmanian mauve vein. It comes in a cylindrical form.

When Sir Les hits the stage in Manchester on Wednesday, September 16, a whiff of Australia’s finest cheese is sure to follow.

From his love of Kraft cheese as a boy, to the Endeavour Blue that is served at all the Patterson functions, Sir Les certainly has his nose to the rind.

Sir Les and Dame Edna will be touring venues in England, Scotland and Wales this autumn in a show billed as the Last Night Of The Poms.

• SECC & Clyde Auditorium, Glasgow – Friday September 11th
• Usher Hall, Edinburgh – Saturday September 12th
• Royal Albert Hall, London – Tuesday September 15th
• Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester – Wednesday September 16th
• Brighton Centre, Brighton – Friday September 18th
• The National Indoor Arena, Birmingham – Tuesday September 22nd
• Sheffield Arena, Sheffield – Wednesday September 23rd
• Cardiff International Arena, Cardiff – Friday September 25th
• Bournemouth International Centre, Bournemouth – Saturday September 26th
• Odyssey Arena, Belfast – Tuesday September 29th
• Liverpool Echo Arena, Liverpool – Friday October 2nd
• Trent FM Arena Nottingham, Nottingham – Saturday October 3rd

Sir Les was conspicuous by his absence at the shows in San Francisco earlier this year. But now that President Barack Obama is safely in office he can resume his duties providing intimate lectures to arena audiences. Carl Davis CBE will also be present to conduct the band.

Be warned that venues will not supply water-proofs to attendees in the first 4 rows during the lecture.

Latest reports suggest that the more fanatic Sir Les followers, known as ‘The Diplomats’, have already started camping outside venues 24 hours before tickets officially go on sale. But that maybe a lie.

Dame Edna Everage on her way to Liverpool for Last Night of the Poms – Liverpool Daily Post.co.uk
Good news, Possums! – Chortle : The UK Comedy Guide
Sir Les Patterson Tour Dates & Tickets – ents24.com

There will, however, be the introduction to an American audience, for the very first time, of Sir Les Patterson. He’s a character that’s been in my repertoire for a long time. He’s a very overweight – or, as you say in the States, “heavyset” – gross Australian politician in a stained powder-blue suit, deeply stained tie, always carrying a drink, who’s now the Australian ambassador to the States. This will be an experiment to see how people take it, because he’s such a contrast to Edna. He’s very good for political comment.

That’s Barry Humphries describing Sir Les to the San Francisco Chronicle.

It appears that Sir Les has become the Australian ambassador to the United States of America. No doubt he’ll be involved in high-level talks with President-elect Barack Obama.

Our new Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd (the dentist), has had as many overseas trips at the taxpayers’ expense as I have. Unlike a couple of his predecessors, he has not sought my advice about discreet rub-and-tug shops in Bangkok, though I would have been delighted to assist him should he be desirous of getting his rocket polished in a tasteful setting. He needs to watch his back, however, because Malcolm Turnbull – the next prime minister, incidentally – is waiting for the first opportunity to shaft him. Malcolm, like me, comes from a good old Irish-Australian background, but he once gave me a serve in the British press, accusing me of damaging Australia’s overseas image. I didn’t give a stuff because, quite frankly, I am Australia’s overseas image. But I had to hand it to old Mal. If you’re a nonentity, as he was at the time, the best way to get a bit of publicity is to impugn the patriotism of a bloke everyone knows and loves. I felt like shaking his hand, though my hand was pretty busy at the time. Are you with me?

Diary and Diplomatic Notebook both from The Spectator

• Alan Jones Interviewing Sir Les Patterson – Sir Les admits that he started in politics because of the perks and answers the tough questions of the day from the shows callers.
• Peter Cook & Les Patterson opening Melbourne Comedy Festival – news footage of the opening of the first comedy festival back in 1987.

This only begs the question, considering that it was uploaded at the beginning of the year, why has it taken me so long to find it?