SingleWorkingMama

It’s Okay to Fail, Mama. Really.

Heidi — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 03:20:04 +0000

We’ve all heard that as you get older, you tend to get set in your ways.

Sometimes, those ways aren’t that great, and whether it is cooking the same dinner or watching the same shows again and again, you might start to notice your life zoom past you. Why is this? I think a big part of it is being in your comfort zone, and feeling too tired to try something new only to flop.

Clearly, I am in a self-exploratory phase of my life. I realized not long ago that it’s very easy find reasons to stick to the status quo and never make a change. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it doesn’t take that much extra energy to branch out and try new hobbies, meet new people, and really just try to “think outside the box” in all different areas of life.

In the past year, I have taken on a few new challenges by choice:

Knitting - Just for the heck of it, I decided to try. It was beyond frustrating at first, and I wasn’t sure it was for me. However, I took a class and slowly got the hang of it. I sat around a table with 8 other women, many of us struggling in different ways as we dropped and added stitches, and chirped for the ladies who were obvious naturals. I have crashed and burned on a few projects, but the reward of finishing something as minor as a dishcloth is enough to make me laugh it off and try again. (It’s funny – it really DOES go faster the second time you try something!)
The Gym - OMG, I joined a gym. OMG, I am actually going, and quite regularly. I keep trying new classes, and go into each one with the knowledge that I could very well fall flat on my face, and that is okay. At the end of the day, everyone going into that class with me (with a few exceptions, I’m sure) has some kind of insecurity, and it’s sort of therapeutic to laugh with classmates as our yoga teacher contorts herself into circus-worthy positions as we fall on our bums. It has been fantastic to see people of all shapes, sizes and physical restrictions fight their way through classes, and even better to start seeing them week after week. Camaraderie and pressure are being formed. We cheer each other on through that next wave in rowing class, and give each other grief if someone misses a class.
Reading. Yes, reading. I read all the time as a matter of business and necessity, but I’ve recently begun reading for leisure. My attention span is short, so instead of giving up on a book, I’ve taken to reading a small, digestible chunk at a time. Whether that means reading a chapter, ten pages, or for ten minutes, I am finishing books.

Here’s the thing about all of these activities: It’s okay if you fail at any of them. The worst thing that can happen to you in any of them is that you may forge new friendships, learn a new hobby, or just become a tad bit smarter.

$5 Chili

Heidi — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 22:26:45 +0000

Now that Old Man Winter is showing us hints of gnarling his teeth, simple and (as always) cost-effective “comfort” dinners come to mind.

Busy parents aren’t often able to create culinary masterpieces from scratch, and I am proud to say that I’ve discovered a $5 chili recipe that is easy to make, and requires only 2 cans and some cooked hamburger!

I have always liked the concept of the The Cake Mix Doctor, which helps add zip to a box cake mix. The same idea can apply to main dishes, like chili!

Canned foods make my life easier, are inexpensive, and save time.

Here’s my $5 Chili recommendation:

1 can Bush’s Chili Magic = $1.20-ish, depending on sale or coupon
1 can Petite Cut Diced Tomatoes (They’re cute and teeny, and I like ‘em. Brand is irrelevant.) $1-ish
1 lb. Ground Beef (or turkey) = about $2
Onion

Additional compliments, if desired: Shredded cheese, chopped onion, sour cream, macaroni elbow noodles

To create:
Cook the beef with some chopped onion. (Or skip the onion, if you must)
Season it (if you want to)
Throw the Chili Magic, Petite diced tomatoes and beef into a crock pot or sauce pot.
Add cooked elbow noodles and additional garnishes as desired.

You now have a meal for a small, but mighty crew for about $5.

It is truly magical.

Tip:
Last time I bought two pounds of beef, I cooked one up just for chili. I threw it in a zip-loc bag and froze it. Today, when I thought “Hmm, what’s for dinner?” I threw the Chili Magic, tomatoes and frozen cooked beef into the crock and set it on low. Mmm, THAT was easy!

McDonald’s Cone in a Cup Trick

Heidi — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:55:53 +0000

The other day, we drove through McDonald’s to get some vanilla ice cream for our apple pie. I like their ice cream, because it’s much lower in fat than custard, and it is CHEAP.

I learned a little trick on this visit.

Ordering a cup with vanilla ice cream costs $1. (He told me it’s “technically a sundae.”)

Ordering a vanilla cone costs .49.

Ordering a cone in a cup costs .49.

I don’t know what they’d say if you asked for a cone in a cup minus the cone, however!

Cheap, Awesome and Fun

Heidi — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 00:40:27 +0000

Last night, I reached out to my facebook friends/fans for some ideas about cheap, quality fun with kids. I got a GREAT response, and some really creative ideas!

Cha-Ching! Hear those savings rack up!

Here was my question: Answer this: What’s the cheapest, most awesome activity you’ve done with your kiddos? C’mon! Give me “bang for the buck!”

Rob said: “Mid summer, indoor snowball fight with lots of balled up paper…lots of paper. Ambushing the first person to come into the house from behind the couch is priceless.”

Totally fun! What a way to help recycle last week’s newspaper, and you can be sure the kids will love it.

Catherine offered: “Mancala or connect 4 tournaments because they turn fast and nobody gets bored….and I have a hard time dealing with Monopoly:) The fire pit is great, but that’s not till winter. Sometimes we just put on iTunes and dance which is probably very entertaining for my neighbors…”

We haven’t broken out Mancala yet, but we just tried Connect 4 and while we’re still in the early stages of learning, it offers GREAT potential and really gets the wheels turnin’. I got mine last Christmas season at Walmart, and I think it was only $5 or so, too! I absolutely love dance-a-thons, and chuckled about her comment regarding the neighbors. I’ve had that very same thought, many times myself!

Mary Kaye suggests (for those in Wisconsin): “An inexpensive summer outing is to head up to Bay Beach in Green Bay. Tickets are 25 cents and most rides are 2 tickets. The park is right on the shores of Lake Michigan. It’s a little gem.”

I’ve not yet been there, but have heard only great things about Bay Beach. Throw in a visit to Lambeau Field, and any Green Bay Packers fan-in-the-making will get their proper introduction to some serious state heritage.

Erin and Amy both offer different spins on scavenger/treasure hunts:

Erin (Tireless mother of four boys!): “For lunch or dinner when I’m home alone with the kids, I make a scavenger hunt for the boys. I hide clues around the house and they have to find them and head on to the next clue. Depending upon what we are having for dinner, they either find part of there dinner at each clue or play money. their food or money and meet at the final resting place… Read More. (If it is money, they then have to use it to buy their food at the “restaurant”. They love picking off the menu. ) At the end, we sit in front of the fireplace for a living room picnic.”

Amy: “I love the scavenger hunt idea too!
never thought about having them collecting anything along the way.
i do treasure hunts, and the girls love them. i have both hand drawn (therefore sad looking) clues on notecards, as well as pictures i took of somethings in the house and in the yard. the last clue usually leads to some special treat – like ice cream cones, or a small prize.
they love both the end result and the journey!”

Seriously, my friends… The above suggestions are all amazing, and times your kiddos will cherish forever.

Join the discussion and meet these fantastic parents on Facebook!

SingleWorkingMama on Facebook

One Woman’s “Fat Pants,” Another Woman’s Treasure

Heidi — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 01:28:15 +0000

I haven’t done a post recently about money saving techniques. Thanks to a very generous coworker, I will do so now.

As I’ve mentioned before, I am lucky to have colleagues who have also become friends.

Some of the ladies I work with and I have started a “goods exchange,” which includes clothing for children, various household odds and ends, shoes and clothing for us.

Yesterday, I was griping to my friend that in addition to hating all of the pants in my current repertoire, that suddenly almost all of them seem faded or damaged in some other way.

Pants! New pants for me! (Still working on those abs.)

Today, I am happier than a baby in a candy store, as that very friend brought me about 20 pairs of VERY gently-worn pants that are too roomy for her.

I have the bottom half of an entirely new wardrobe! (I’m thrilled that she and I share a similar fashion sense, which is key in this kind of arrangement working out, of course…)

Reduce, reuse, recycle.

When my kids grow out of their current sizes, I always love to share with friends. It’s fun and nostalgic to see a pal’s little tyke romping around in something your very own kiddo once wore.

I encourage anyone who isn’t too proud to trade pants with their friends to do so. Even the cheapest clearance items are more expensive than free!

My Little Matchmaker, With a Motive

Heidi — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 01:39:30 +0000

Recently, I’ve been wowed, impressed, and most of all thrown off of my parenting game by the logic and persistence of my seven year old.

While her interests seem to come (and go) in waves, her most recent request for a baby sister is hanging around much longer than I’d like.

It’s really funny. First, I try to explain that in order for me to have a baby, I should be married. (It’s the way I roll.)

“But,” she reasoned, “you have Brett and me, and you aren’t married.”

Sigh. This is the time I realize that gone are the days of pacifying my kiddos with a simple answer to any question they pose, and when I have to remind her that when they were born, I was married; that I didn’t enter the realm of the Single Mama until I got a divorce.

“Well,” she said (wheels turning) “I think I know a really nice guy for you. My PRINCIPAL!” She’s also commented on people we run into out and about, and once decided that because a man winked at me at the gas station that he thought I was beautiful and wanted to marry me.

Not good. Now she’s on the hunt to find not my soul mate, but the papa for her dream baby sister.

When I first got divorced, I was getting clobbered from every angle by friends, colleagues, neighbors and even vague acquaintances trying to set me up with “so-and-so,” who was always “really great,” and “blah, blah, blah.” I never imagined that one of these forces would be my own offspring!

I’m trying to prove to my kids that I don’t need some nameless, faceless entity to make my life whole. So how do I do this?

So far, my approach has included the following:

I laugh with her when she tries to set me up, and agree with her when we see a “cute one.”
I tell them constantly that I don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy!
I remind them that happy families come in all shapes and sizes; that they are my focus, and that when the time is right, maybe I will get involved again.

At the end of the day, I stand by my conviction. I really hope that my theory that they’ll get a stronger sense of themselves holds true, and that they learn much earlier than I did about what it really takes to have an awesome relationship.

C’mon. Who else out there has gone through this? Who else has dealt with similar efforts and requests by well-meaning children? I want to hear from you!

Guest Appearance on Brent Dodge’s W.E.D.nesday Show – Disney Tips!

Heidi — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 20:59:57 +0000

You’ve heard me talk about the SuperManny before. Something I haven’t talked much about is the fact that he, Brent Dodge, is a Disney expert and author of an upcoming Disney Guide book!

As a result, I was well-informed about what to see, what to do, and what to avoid at Disney World when we took our trip there a few weeks ago.

That's us in the first two rows!

Tonight, Brent will be interviewing me on his weekly show! Hopefully, I will be able to help offer some tips and tricks for traveling to Disney with small children.

I hope you tune in! The show starts at 8:30 Central, and I will be making my appearance around 9.

The Homeless American Girl Doll

Heidi — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 02:43:47 +0000

By now, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard about the new, Homeless American Girl Doll, Gwen. (If not, read about it here.)

Gwen's mother does a pretty good job of getting her dressed for school in that car. She's more coordinated than my kids on any given day.

I have a couple of thoughts about this new addition to the American Girl (now clearly dysfunctional – ha!) family:

First, did they do any market research on this? Does this homeless doll fill a quiet void among children of parents who are able to spend $95 on a doll?

I’d also like to know which charity provided the Gymboree-quality, fully coordinated outfit of this lil’ sweetheart. Yes, I can tell that her seersucker dress doesn’t require ironing, which is a good thing. Obviously, her mother can’t very well iron in the car. And, Gwen’s mother is quite the artist. She’s dressed much better than my kids do on the average school day!

I think that introducing dolls of different backgrounds is a spectacular idea. Sure, it would make sense that in this day and age, there would be a doll from a single parent household. I think they jumped the shark a bit with the whole “homeless” bit, but then again, the singer Jewel lived in a car with her mother for quite some time as a young girl. Perhaps this was the American Girl attempt at showing hope.

Then again, it could be one more way to make actual homeless children feel inadequate, with their less-polished attire and hairstyles.

It’s a good thing Gwen is out of my price range. If my daughter wants a homeless doll for Christmas, I will take one of the forgotten, neglected Generican Girl dolls laying around my house and re-gift it to her.

Disney World Trip, Volume 1: The Magical Express

Heidi — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 01:05:55 +0000

We flew into Orlando and grabbed our luggage with ease. (Well, not with ease, necessarily. My sister nicknamed my bag “Big Bertha,” as it could easily accommodate at least one full-grown adult, and possibly a small child.)

At any rate, we breezed through the baggage claim and hopped in line for the Magical Express.

We were the first group to get on the next bus, and the kids charged on board and took the coveted first row. They were SO excited! My sister and I took the row across from them, seated directly behind the driver’s seat.

Our driver got on the shuttle. He was heavily winded, which wasn’t surprising since he had to haul most of the luggage under the bus. However, I started to become concerned as continued to pant heavily.

He started to drive, and took the microphone. “Welcome (pant pant pant) to Walt Disney World. (pant pant pant) My name is (We’ll just call him “Johnny,” as I’m not going to reveal his true identity) and I must apologize…” (Long, dramatic pant sequence) “But I am getting older (pant pant pant,) and I cannot (pant) breathe.”

Some passengers seemed oblivious, and I exchanged bug-eyed glances with a few others.

Thankfully, this is *not* the last known photo of the kids.

By now, we were about 7 minutes into our 30 minute drive. It suddenly occurred to me that these highly sought after front row seats were not ideal if the driver should succumb to some sort of medical episode.

He mopped his face with a paper towel, and I tapped him on the shoulder. “Sir, are you okay?” He insisted he was, and that was that. Meanwhile, I studied the path from my seat to the wheel in the event he should suddenly slump over.

We made it. By the end of the drive, he seemed to have recovered. We gave him a big tip for his heavy haulin’. I didn’t quite kiss the ground when we got off the shuttle, but I was very thankful.

Later, my sister said “Yeah – I came up with a plan to grab the wheel and pull his leg off the gas if necessary.”

I’m happy we didn’t make the news. Magical indeed!

Home is Where the Heart Is

Heidi — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 01:46:33 +0000

We’re fresh home from Disney World.

One night, in the hotel, Drue told me: “I’m a little bit homesick. I miss our house.”

I told her I understood, but reminded her that “Home is where the heart is, remember?”

She looked at me with a tired, serious face and nodded slowly.

To confirm she understood, I said “Okay, so then where’s the heart?”

She said “At home. You just said so.”