Ambition. Passion. Tunnel vision. Laser-sharp dedication.  Self-criticism. High expectations. An entrenched fear of failure. A need to compete and to win. And self-awareness.

Meet Josephine.

Without exception, every single one of those traits fuel her career. 

As she candidly admitted to me, it was mostly in search of approval and admiration the reason why at the age of 17  she decided that she wanted to follow her parents’ footsteps and become a surgeon.

Guided by her parents’ example, she immersed herself in a rigourous training program that lasted 13 years.  It included working long hours, completing exams 12 years in a row (that’s a total of 24 semesters) and supporting a family on very little pay – while watching most friends live comfortably. 

13 years later, Josephine now owns and runs one of the most succesful private day surgeries in the country.

Note to self: Knowing what you want is only part of the picture – working with all your might is what will get you what you want in your career. 

No doubt, she earned her current success.  As she wrote to me:  “Being self-demanding to ensure my success has become a habit…Fortunately my profession is judged by results.  And it’s delivering results where I’m talented – and I seek to be better every single day.  It’s because a patient’s complication gives me so much angst that I seek to be a better a surgeon.”

Most definitely she feels that it’s an advantage over other surgeons to have parents working in the same profession.  Because she admires her father inmensely, she has been wide open to learning from his path.  Today she feels that she has gained 30 years of experience – over those who don’t have parents in the same profession – or those who aren’t willing to learn from their parents.

In her words:  “It’s been a matter of learning from my dad’s mistakes.  About following his idealogy about work – and paying close attention to what it takes to stand out as a surgeon – just as my dad has.  From a technical view point, I’ve benefitted from the number and variety of procedures that I had access to during my formative years, from having a medical library at home, and from travelling to conferences with him…This is in large part why my experience is much greater than it should be at my age…Today we enjoy learning as a family.  Professional development has become a fun family activity that my dad, my mom and I share.”

Note to self: Sure you can chose to rebel against your parents – and go at it alone. Or you can choose to leverage their wisdom.  It’s your choice.

As much as she admires her parents, and learns from them, she feels that perhaps the best career move she has made so far has been to work alongside her dad – and not for him.  They each have their own private practice, that includes having separate patients and support teams. That has allowed her to make a name for herself – and importantly to receive her own referrals and build her own reputation as a surgeon.

Note to self:  The success of your parents – and of others around you – is not your own.  The sooner you accept this reality – and use it to your advantage – the sooner you will start to cast your own shadow.

Although her career has benefitied immensely from working alongside her parents, it’s having clear and achievable goal posts that have led her to her own achievements.

In her words:  “In school I knew I had to complete the school year, in university I worked towards completing every semester, and during my residency I worked towards completing every new rotation at the hospital.  I always planned  – and rarely did I make impulsive decisions.  I guess I was fortunate in that sense. There was always someone around who reminded me to be analytical, look at the facts and stay on the path I had planned.”

Note to self:  Set achievable goals – and a long career path will not feel like holding your breath under water.

Clearly Josephine is a person who thrives under the constant tension that exists between success and failure.  She is constantly looking to improve her skills, increase her knowledge and sharpen her business acumen – that is her way of guaranteeing success and warding off failure.

Note to self: What are you doing in your career to guarantee success and ward off failure?

“Perhaps the most important lesson I’ve learned is that my profession is made a day at a time, a patient at a time.  As long as one is ethical, committed and professional, results will begin to emerge.  Just as well, monetary achievements cannot be an end in itself – but a desirable fringe benefit that results from helping people and offering a service with care and loyalty.”

Note to self:  Working for money is short-sighted.  Expand your vision.  Work for more than money – and the money will come.

*Name changed for privacy reasons.  I feel honored that Josephine trusted me with her story. She did so only on the condition that her identity not be revealed.  Looking to respect her wishes – and thank her for her contribition – her real name has not been use

Unless you’re into making a quick sale – the kind where you take someone’s money and run – selling, whether it be products or services, is an honorable career path.

Here’s why:

1. It is possible to be 100% transparent about your offering and still make a sale.  Unless you define being transparent and honest as self-bashing.  Do you?
2. A quick sale is nice – a repeat order and a referral are both blissful.  To achieve the latter two you must earn your clients’ trust.  Gaining trust sometimes means forgoing an immediate gain for the sake of a long term, sustainable result.
3. Passion is unfakeable.  Your clients will believe in your offering only as much as you do.  So don’t aim to fake it until you make it. Simply go out and make it.  Sell only those products and services that you believe in – that are in line with your values.

Now go out and sell, sell, sell…

Avoidance or fulfilment, what’s your modus operandi?

In other words, are you playing not to loose or are you playing to win?

When faced with a decision – be it at work, or in life in general – do you aim to avoid pain and loss or to achieve pleasure and excitement? Do you tend to retreat in fear or to charge with excitement and passion?

In your mind’s eye, do you see life as a minefield laden with hidden dangers and pitfalls, or do you see it as a green field bursting with abundance and possibilities – all there for the taking? Grey or green – was it is going to be?

As you think through your answer, think about what a life guided by the avoidance of pain and loss will amount to.  Do you want to look back one day to remember what you accomplished, or what you left undone and unlived? 

I know, this sounds like a huge cliché.  Even so, using fear and guilt as guiding lights can be dangerous business.  Ironic, to say the least, don’t you think? 

If it is in fact pain and loss that you’re trying to avoid, doesn’t it make more sense to seek their opposites – pleasure, gain and excitement – than to retreat in fear?  Yes, being careful and consequently avoiding experiences is likely to lead to a safe and experience-less existence. On the other hand, seeking experiences to create memories, is likely to leave you many lessons – and yes, admitedly some great stories to tell.

On any given day, can you enumerate your fears?  What about your passions?

Do you really know what excites you?  Is that what you’re working towards?

Sounds like I’m having a mid-life crisis huh?  Maybe a huge awakening.  And maybe you should too.

Instead of asking yourself what are you afraid of – and retreating – ask yourself what excites you, what gives you pleasure – and charge towards that with all your might.

Have a nice week.

Photo credit – thanks!

 Here’s how you can tell if, in your career, you’re chasing after instant gratification or long-term excitement:  

1. Play it forward:  Look beyond the here and now.  Chances are that if you’re evaluating a decision in this light, it’s because it’s a major one.  Major decisions will impact your life – and career – for years to come.  That being the case, think about what will the major outcomes be in 2 years time.  What about 5?  Ask yourself if you’re falling into the temptation of short-term pleasure, and paying with long-term pain.
2. Consult your gut:  Be honest – with yourself – because you’re the only person that counts.  When you think about the overall outcome, does it feel right?  Or does it feel wrong?  Here you’re looking for physical feelings – check your gut. As a point of reference, think back about a time when one of your decisions felt right – in your gut. 
3. There are no right or wrong answers:  You’re probably thinking that this information does not help your decision process.  Actually I beg to differ. Knowing that you’re looking for an excellent answer, not a perfect one is bound to empower you. Looking for right or wrong answers is the surest way to suffer from analysis paralysis. So go ahead, make a decision.  Know that there’s loads of grey.  Be open to the lessons – and you will come out on top!

Passion, excitement, enjoyment are all achievable career goals.  It’s a matter of having the right strategy and an action plan. What do you think?

How do I know, you ask?  I’ve experienced it with my own skin.

Having said all that, I’m well aware that writing about my writing process is like using a walking stick to walk.  What can I say?  Today I need something to lean on.  Does that mean that I’m losing my writing mojo?  Or that my writing juice is coming to an end?  Sure, those are all possibilities.  Even so, what’s more likely is that I’m coming to a new beginning – a new phase in my writing.   To enter into the new phase, the old one must come to an end.  My usual, normal, comfortable, and familiar process must exit. And in comes the new phase – which at first will feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable.  As do most new things.  Indeed this post is part of my transition – so welcome! 

(End self-introspection. Start post.)

Right now forget what you know about surviving chaos, change and transitions.  Instead I invite you to thrive in the midst of it all.  This is not an indecent proposal – thriving  amidst the chaos is a very real and achievable goal. 

1. Look at the eye of the storm in the eye.  Avoidance is a form of self-sabotage.  Information is power because when you know what is going on, you can figure out what needs to be done to get out of the rut.  To thrive, take chaos head on.  Look at it in the eye – accept it. Once you know what you’re up against, it’s much easier to look for solutions and possibilities. 
2. Look for the lessons.  A cruisy life leaves very little lessons – and becomes boring after a while.  Challenges, on the other hand, are among life’s best teachers.  But only if you’re open to learning.  To capitalize on tough times, skip wasting time feeling sorry for yourself and asking: “why me?”, “why did this happen to me?”.  Use your mental juices to look for the lessons.  Ask: “what can I learn from this experience?”,  “in what ways will I be stronger, smarter, better equipped to take on life?”.
3. Ask “why not me?”.  If you pay close attention, you will find that great people are not born great.  They are shaped by how they handle situations in their life – just like a sculptor shapes a marble slab into, say a David.  In other words, it’s how they handle adveristy, change, transitions, that shapes them into greatness.  Next time life pitches you a curve ball, take it as an opportunity.  Use it to shape yourself into a great person.
4. Stretching is good.  New situations call for new approaches and new solutions. Enjoy the new perspective.  Dealing with a new situation in an old way will lead no where.  Think laterally – and in ways you never thought possible.  Go on, stretch your brain.  It will thank you by developing neural pathways you did not know existed.  In a way, a new part of you will develop.

All up, this is why thinking beings are equipped to thrive.  Now you know why mere survival and just getting by is for the non-thinking kind…

With looks that belong on a fashion runway – certainly not on an OzTag field (the Australian version of touch football) where you can now find Bronwyn several nights a week -  she’s wholesome as apple pie, and driven as an Olympic athlete – literally. 

 Bronwyn leads a life guided by this AND that.

More than her natural talents, it’s her approach to work, sports and life in general that drive her to achieve what she has.

She has been working as the Corporate (legal) Counsel since January 2000 at Country Energy.  To you and me that means that since she was 27 years old, she’s headed the legal department of a male-dominated company that owns the world’s second largest electricity network.

Outside of work her track record also raises eye-brows.  That’s because at her core, Bronwyn is an elite athlete.  Her strongest sport has been track and field, although she has also competed in swimming, Australian Football League (AFL), hockey, OzTag and equestrian.  Her most recent achievement was making the Olympic Shadow Team for Torino 2006 for both Skeleton and Bobsleigh. 

There have been times when in addition to working full time as a lawyer, she has been studying at university level and co-hosting the ABC 666 Grandstand Sport radio show.   Today Bronwyn is a mom, a practicing lawyer, and is completing her last course towards a Masters of Law at University of Melbourne in Australia.

“A lot of people say they can’t do something or don’t have time. That’s a priority issue rather than an inability to be involved.  Usually many people feel they shouldn’t do something because they don’t fit the stereotype of the sort of person that would usually take that job or do that activity or play that sport. Constraints such as those don’t tend to bother me so I will have a go even if I’m the odd man out.”

Note to self:  Your opinion is the only one that matters. Let it be your guide.

“This has sometimes meant that I’ve spread myself quite thinly, and it certainly means I have very little time to sit down and do nothing. It has meant though that I’ve been able to experience many things and meet a huge amount of people and travel to many countries (mostly with my sport).

Prioritising and organising is a very important part of my day. Without organisation I would end up doubling up on a lot of what I do, and retracing my steps, and I would run out of time to do the quality things instead of just the mundane, menial things.”

Note to self:  Take time to prioritize and organize.  What are the most important things in your life?  Are you sacrificing them to do the most urgent – and less important?

“Sport at an elite level teaches you to be aware of what your body is telling you – and to react to that. It may be a deficiency in something, a temporarily increased or decreased metabolism, a pain. I think a good example of this is when I was pregnant my metabolism would increase for a day or two and then go back to normal. I may crave certain foods for a day or two and then a different food after that. The key is to listen to my body and eat extra food for that day or two only, and not get into the habit of eating too much permanently – or not eating foods long term because I craved them for two days.

My inner compass is exactly that – I just have learned to listen to it and pay attention to what it’s telling me about what I need to do. That may be to find a new challenge or just keep doing what I’m doing.

I’ve never believed in 5 year plans or changing what I’m doing because of an objective milestone. My goal is to be content – and that involves having a sense of satisfaction and achievement as well as many other things. That sense tells me when I’m no longer being challenged by something, or when another offer that is ‘too good to refuse’ comes along that I should take it.”

Note to self:  Where is your inner compass taking you?

And what exactly is Bronwyn’s (winning) philosophy? 

“There’s never a ‘perfect’ time for anything, and sometimes waiting to have more experience for something means missing other experiences and missing opportunities. I think it’s important to note that I don’t believe opportunities need to be waited for – I believe that you can make your own opportunities if there are none on offer.

People are often afraid to jump into things when they are unsure or have choices to make that are difficult. Not many decisions are not reversible, or can not have something made of them – even if it isn’t an ideal situation it generally isn’t unsalvageable!”

Make a mental note of that.

“I think it’s important to have a belief in yourself and remember that you’re making the best decision you can based on the information that you have at the time. That way you don’t spend forever second guessing past decisions and wondering whether you took the wrong path. There’s so many things that cannot be changed, but can be learned from so it’s best to move on and use that knowledge rather than dwell on the past.”

Read that one more time.

Thank you Dean Taylor for the awesome shot!

 Now think tennis.  The amount of power that a player exerts on a shot is not dependent on their size.  It all hinges on how they stand to take the shot.  A short, well positioned player has much more power than a tall and lanky one or a bulky and clumsy one. 

Think about that next time you enter a negotiation. 

Resist the temptation to be intimidated by the size of the party across the table.  Focus on positioning yourself solidly on the ground.

Here are some tips to help you keep your cool in the heat of the deal:

1. Be clear on what you want to achieve.  As you set out to determine this, think about what is the best case scenario.  In other words, if you had a magic wand, what would the outcome of the negotiation be?  Part from a winning position.  Then aim for a win-win outcome.
2. Play your moves forward.  Ask yourself: “ if I do this, then the other party will respond this way. And then what?”
3. Apply facts.  Knowing the facts is not enough.  Using those facts to advance your position is what matters most.
4. Walk away.  I’ve mentioned this before – and I continue to bring it up because I keep living with my own skin the power of turning down an offer. Voting with your feet is one of the most powerful ways to get the other party to wake up (and respond) to your demands.
5. Look for options.  Desperate is not a good look.  At the negotiation table,  it’s the weakest place to play from.  To stop yourself from being desperate, look for other options before you sit at the negotiation table.  If need be, play those offers against each other. That will make you powerful. 

Forget the other party’s size.  Don’t come anywhere near a negotation without first making sure that you’re standing in the seat of power. Otherwise you risk being dragged – by your own lack of positioning.

Photo credit.

The driving force behind achieving greatness at work is not size, it’s attention to detail.  Where the rubber meets the road, greatness is action driven by the knowledge of the granular aspects of work.  It’s knowing that every one of your actions is worthy of your full attention because it will impact something else – something that is beyond yourself.  That includes a colleague you have lunch with.  Remember that next time you fill out an expense form.

Sure enough there’s a difference between petty details and the important ones. Petty ones lead no where.  Important ones contribute to the company’s overall vision.  Knowing how to tell the difference is vital.  Petty details are short-term distractions and excuses camouflaged as important urgencies.  Remember that next time you spend 20 minutes unwinding your phone cord.  Important details are vision-driven, solution-focused and have a positive long term impact on the company you work with.  Remember that next time you take 20 minutes to hand write a thank you note to send to a client. 

Some might argue that to be detail-oriented and accurate you must slow down.  I say only if you lack focus.  It is possible to be quick and accurate at the same time.  This simply depends on how present you are at any given moment. 

And that’s your biggest clue to acting with attention to detail – being in the here & now.  The more you can achieve that, the greater you will be.

Photo credit.

Recently I received an email from one of my readers who will remain anonymous – except I will let you know that it’s a male from a sleepy city (his words, not mine) close to Calcutta, in India.

On two occassions he has written to me mostly to comment on what he calls my ‘toughness’.  He insists – and I quote – “You write in a prose which can be best described as ‘tough’. Will you continue to write when you’ll become a lady?”

In a future email, when I ask him to identify himself, he responds: 

“And tenderness has its strength too. Perhaps it is stronger than whatever is ‘tough’. I thought the ladies know.”

I decided to use this exchange to make a few points loud and clear about my writing:

1. What you read is me.  Nothing more, nothing less. My words and ideas emerge from my core – which I get in touch with every morning at 5am through mindfulness meditation – a technique taught to me by the Thai monk Phra Mana at Sunnataram Forest Monastery.   
2. My uniqueness is my strength. So is yours.  Surrender to it. Go beyond self-judgment.  To become inwardly driven, focus your thoughts and energy on identifying your strengths and weaknesses. Play to your strengths. Manage your weaknesses.  Strategically partner with those with complementary strengths. Above all, live beyond labels (ie male/female).
3. Live candidly. If you want to be able to trust people, first be trustworthy.  Begin by meaning what you say. Make sure that you do what you say that you will.  Above all, be yourself. 

So Mr. Gracious Reader, as I responded to you in an email:

“What you read on my blog is me shinnng through as I am – that is me – straight up.  Perhaps you can try to accept me – (and accept yourself) – just as I am (and just as you are)…Surrender to my nature (and yours) and take it all in.  It’s my uniqueness that is my strength…(and yours too).”

Photo credit

Brazen Careerist (BC) has evolved to position itself as the #1 site for career management among Generation Y…you know who you are.

Watch this to get a better idea of what the new and evolved BC is about.

As one of the founders, Ryan Paugh, shared with me: 

“Our vision is to create a career management tool that helps those with less experience level the playing field.  Sites like LinkedIn are wonderful if you already have a Rolodex full of connections, or if you have years of experience to share with potential employers.  But what about people new to the workforce?  And what about people who want to make a big career shift?  How do you network?

We’re creating a place where instead of experience, your ideas are most important. We encourage people to connect through blogs, groups, comments, etc, and build relationships with each other. I’ve never had a worthwhile conversation on LinkedIn and I’d like to see a career management tool that fosters real conversations. I think Brazen Careerist will help do that ”

And what does that have to do with my blog – and with you, for that matter?

For those of you who don’t know, I’m one of the earliest adopters of the Brazen Careerist community. 

When looking for a place to feature my blog; a place where my ideas would be heard; a place to have meaningful conversations with like-minded people who are doing great things in the community –  I found Brazen Careerist. (It helped that they are ranked #1 by Alltop)

After some persuasion*, the editing team at BC invited me to be a guest blogger.  Later on they syndicated my blog.   As a result, my posts are now featured as regularly as I publish them on my own blog. (Click here to see for yourself)  Something I’m most grateful for.

For more than a year I have been connecting with like-minded people around the world.  And I’d like to invite you to do the same.  Your career will benefit – big time.

How do I know? 

Because BC is a community of do-ers not talkers. 

I invite you to browse through the profiles of members. I trust that you will find young professionals commited to achievement, to contribution – and as some have expressed, to changing the world.

NOW go do something for your  career, join – it’s free. 

Better yet, take the plunge into conversations. At times you will finhat some may disagree with your ideas. Don’t take it personally. Soon you will find that it’s healthy disagreement. Rarely does meaningless  chatter develop. 

I’ll see you at BC.

*During their early days, BC was only for 18 to 30 year-old bloggers. Eager to join, I made my case by telling Ryan that I still get carded at bars – which is true.   Shortly after I was allowed to join as a guest. (and that’s one of my writing career‘s milestones)