Sherry's Self-Defense & Safety tips Blog

Whats your Handle

2010-04-08T16:52:00.000-07:00

When I was younger "What's your handle?" meant what name does that trucker use on his CB radio. This is a bit different. As a martial arts and self-defense teacher I love when people do things that help me defend myself. Many people do this unknowingly which makes for a great self-defense tool. I will give you a list of handles people unknowingly give;

A neck tie
Necklace
Ponytails
Long hair
Face or ear piercings
A hoodie--sweatshirt
Lanyards
Hats
Sunglasses with a cord or tie
Headband
Bandana
Jacket
Purses
Back pack
Wallets with a chain

Any of these items can be used to control an attacker when you get the opportunity to get a hold of them. The head weights about six pounds of a person's body weight and varies a bit according to size, but that six pounds of so will control all 180lbs or whatever of their body weight. The body has to follow the head where-ever it goes.....This is why I love face piercings, neck ties, and anything that goes around the head or neck especially that helps give me a handle. There is also the jacket to grab a hold of when you live in an area where people where more clothing most of the year. (IE not Florida or the Bahamas).

Turn the wheel. A Jacket or most any of these items can be used to turn the wheel. This is when force or mass is coming at you in a direct or straight line. Instead of fighting back in a linear or straight line, use a circle or an angle and then it is not strength against strength. It is always better to out-smart an opponent than to out muscle them! This is physics. Grab whatever you can on the person and turn like you are turning a semi-truck steering wheel and instead of the force coming at you like a train on the tracks it will be diverted to the side. When you combat a linear attack with a circle or angle then size and strength don't matter as much.

Remember in a self-defense situation you just need to cause enough distraction or discomfort to get free and get home or to safety. Open your mind to all that is around you and can be used to your advantage. Most people have the mentality that the bad guy has the advantage because he or she is usually bigger, stronger and has used the element of surprise. This is false because you can use the element of surprise right back on them and it is not about out muscling your attacker it is about out smarting them!

I challenge you to start looking at what people have on them that can be used as a handle if you need to take control them. I am sure you will be surprised at how many people show off their handles having no idea how they could be used...

www.sherrymcgregor.com

Book a self-defense seminar today

Bumps in the Road of Life

2009-11-20T13:15:00.000-08:00

I am sure you have seen the news: a 15 year old girl, brutally beaten and raped multiple times over the course of two hours, while other students went about their business and even came in and out to watch at a school dance. I was truly troubled when I saw this on the news, which happened in Richmond, California. I was further troubled to hear that no one called for help for more than two hours and that as many as 20 students were present during this gang rape. It is a natural reaction to blame those students for their apathy. "How could they do that?" "What kind of people are they?" "What were they thinking?" It is our tendency to point the finger at THEM.

I could not sleep well the night after I heard the news of this crime. I lay in bed wondering how it is that we, as a society, are creating young people that are so hardened. Why would the students not call or step up to help? How is it possible to refuse someone in such a desperate situation help or some kind? Bit the I realized, it is not just THEM. It is all of us. We are the same people. We are the entire human race; we all live on a relatively small planet together. When one person hurts, we all hurt. When one part of society is damaged, we are all damaged. We each have to look at ourselves and ask, "What can I do to make this better?"

Then I started thinking about what we actually talk about with our kids as parents, teachers, mentors. We talk about their day, what's happening at school (but we don't really want to now too much), we talk about movies, or TV or what's for dinner. But dinner and casual conversation is supposed to be polite. Here's my question: When do we take the time to talk with our kids and young adults about difficult questions or what to do it:

*Someone scares you?
*Someone if following you?
*Someone makes you feel uncomfortable?
*Your friend is dating someone who treats them badly?
*You see one person hit another?
*You know someone has a weapon?
*You hear someone threaten someone?
*You overhear someone threaten to hurt someone?
*You made a bad decision and want to make it right?
*You are riding in a car with friends and want to get out but don't know where you are or are afraid to ask them to stop?
*You are at a party and things get out of hand?

I have dedicated my life to having these discussions and to teaching people about safety. I work hard to help people build their self-confidence and spend my days teaching self-defense. Even so, this horrific crime made me take a look and reanalyze what I and all of us can do better so that this kind of thing never happens again.

These are real everyday things we face--no matter what age. I say it's better to talk this through and learn skills to be safe--if we don't then we need to be prepared to WING IT. We would not put our kids behind the wheel of a car without giving them the skills to drive Then why would we send out kids out into this world without the skills to handle the bumps in the road of life?

I urge you to have these tough conversations, and if you don't have the answers to give you kids of what they should do in some of these situations then seek out an expert who can help you find those answers!

Be PRO-ACTIVE in your and your kids SAFETY!

Come take a self-defense class with me or a qualified person in your area. If you don't know where to find a qualified person contact me at sherry@sherrymcgregor.com

Thank you to Amy Thien Durning for editing and allowing me to brainstorm with.

YOUR VOICE CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE

2009-09-24T13:32:00.000-07:00

I saw a sign once that said, "YOUR VOICE CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE." Believe it or not, our voices are one of our best self-defense tools. Most people would never think of their voice as a safety tool, but it can very well be. Law enforcement officers have been using this technique for years and have had great results. In order to make this work, one has to be able to draw up a "take charge" attitude no matter what is happening around them.

Learning to use your voice in a commanding and assertive way can literally save your life. It is a proven fact that people freeze when the words "NO" or "STOP" are said in a commanding and authoritative tone. Try this out at home (or the grocery store); play with it a little bit and see the response you get. (Come on, it could be fun!)

Some people find this a fairly easy skill to practice and use. Others find it very difficult and uncomfortable. This idea reminds me of a scene in the movie Cool Runnings, about the Jamaican Bobsled Team going to compete in the Olympics (not much snow in Jamaica!). In this movie, there is a scene where one of the team members is discouraged. His team mate stands him in front of a mirror and tells him to look at himself and say, "I am a bad mother F_--er and I'm not taking any crap off 'a nobody!" He insists that the discouraged teammate repeat this many times, getting louder and more bold each time, until he feels it.

This is a great exercise! Look in the mirror each morning before you go out into the world and say, "I am strong. I am aware. I am in charge." Say it in a strong voice and say it until you convince yourself that it is true. If it's too tough to say boldly at first--put it on a sticky note on your mirror (at least you will read it every morning) until you start to feel it. Imagine how different the world would be if we all took a minute every day to claim our space in the universe and to make a pledge to be more positive.

We all have the response built into us; as kids, when a parent or teacher said "STOP" or "NO" in a certain tone--we knew to stop. Studies have shown criminals pause or hesitate when they hear those words as well, particularly when they hear them in a commanding tone. Using your voice to command someone to stop can also work in your favor. If a criminal thinks you are an easy target--and you tell them firmly to back off--you may well stop an attack. This strategy interrupts the criminals game plan and reverses the element of surprise back onto them.

I have participants in my self-defense/protection seminars learn to literally back someone down using their voice and body language. Learning these techniques can also help you at work, and in relationships, by learning to set boundaries for yourself and be able to hold them. Your personal space is YOURS and no one should enter into that space unless you invite them!

Your voice can also be used to draw the attention of others around you when an altercation happens. Never believe anyone who says, "Cooperate and you won't be hurt." It doesn't matter if you know them or not. Statisics tell us that is a LIE.

The more noise and ruckus you can make for anyone with bad intent, the more likely they are to leave you alone, because you are too much trouble. BE TOO MUCH TROUBLE!

Our Responsibility

2009-09-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

Our Responsibility; Self-Defense

We are taught safety throughout our lives for many situations like the fire drill we learned in elementary school, about crossing the street safely, driving safely and many others. It is interesting to me that we are taught little or nothing about crime and how to avoid it in our education system since it is so prevalent in the world.

Most of have more of a chance of facing a violent criminal than having our home, school or business catch on fire, yet we think little or nothing about educating ourselves in how crime happens, where it happens and how to better avoid being a victim of a crime. Most of us are basically taught to leave worrying about the crime and learning about crime to the police, FBI and Government. Therefore we have a pass the buck mentality on who has all or most of the responsibility to keep us safe. This is not a realistic or healthy outlook. Just look at the basics stats in that theory; how many police and FBI agents are there comparative to current
population in your area and in the world, as well as the mass of geography there is to cover.

Looking at this, one has to realize that even if the police, FBI and government had the best training possible and were working as hard as they possibly could to protect us, there is just no way they can do it. The sooner we look at the reality of the situation and understand that we all have to take a part in our own safety as well as the safety of those we love and our neighbors the safer we will all be. We can no longer sit by and pass the buck to leave it all in the hands of the authorities. That has not and will not work.

My hope and prayer is that it does not take someone that is close to you or you being raped, assaulted or murdered to wake you and those around you up to take some action. As a self-defense/protection expert and teacher many times people come to me to learn self-defense after an attack has happened to them or someone they know. It takes something hitting close to home and literally scaring them or waking them up into the reality that they need to do something. This is sad and at the same time we have made great leaps in this field in the last 20 years and which is exciting. 20 years ago and more young girls were being told by police officers, teachers and family members that if they ever got attacked just to lay there and take it and even to try and be quiet and if they did they would most likely not be seriously injured. That is and was a lie most of the time. We also did not understand the criminal mind or have DNA testing, crime scene analysis, communication among departments and many investigation techniques we do now. Nor did we have the psychological understanding of the ramifications victims face after a violent crime.

It is our responsibility as spouses, parents, sisters, brothers, friends, children and grandchildren to protect each other and ourselves.

We can do this in many simple ways:
• By being more aware of our surroundings and letting others around us know when something is different or out of place

• When we go out watching each others backs• not letting those you care about go off with someone they just meet at a club

• By taking a self-defense class together

• We can looking on the national sex offender website to see who is living in your area and letting your neighbors know what you find as well

• Educating ourselves and our kids about what to do in an emergency or if they are separated from us• Everyone should making a plan for disaster

• Read the book “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin DeBecker

• Talk to those you love about self-defense and safety

Sherry McGregor,
Shihan~Teacher of Teachers,
Master Martial Artist
Self-Protection Specialist
Self-Esteem Coach

Intuition -- Survival Signals

2009-07-20T13:15:00.000-07:00

Intuition: direct perception of truth, fact, independent of any reasoning process; or immediate apprehension, a keen quick insight.

In our western society intuition has many times gotten a bad rap. Talked about in a negative way mainly referring to "women's intuition" as a mystical or ridiculous thing that had no logic. In eastern culture intuition is and has been respected for centuries. Animals have intuition and understand it can save their lives, therefore they don't question it.

One of the reasons western society has had a difficult time with the notion of intuition is because it is hard to explain or reason out, and we have seen throughout history that when a society or group does not understand something they usually make fun of it or criticize it.

People have many other names for intuition:

A gut feeling
Angel on my shoulder
sixth sense
Hunch
God/Spirit
The hair on the back of my neck stands up
Goose bumps
Erie feeling
Lump in my throat
Inner voice

There are many ways to describe it and names for it but the bottom line is that Intuition or I think a better name Survival Signals only have one purpose or goal and that is to protect you! They have NO ulterior motive. So Listen to them!

If someone makes you feel uncomfortable -GET AWAY FROM THEM
If you feel you should not walk into a place--DON'T
If you feel you should get out of a place--GET OUT

Our subconscious minds pick up thousands of small cues all the time and communicate them to us in ways of feelings. We may not now or ever understand exactly why we should get out or stay away from this person, and that is OK. Just trust your intuition or survival signals!

I often tell this story when I teach self-defense seminars because many people don't relate intuition or the need for safety to big strong guys but everyone should listen to intuition or survival signals!

A friend of my family is a construction foreman. Big strong guy, hard worker, drives a big truck, friendly, the type of guy you think NO ONE would mess with and can take care of himself.

He was on his way to work one morning and his usual routine was to stop at a convenience store fill up his BIG GULP type mug with soda to last most of the day. He pulled into a convenience store parking lot, grabbed his empty mug and jumped out of his truck. He said then he got a funny feeling not to go into the store, but he thought that is ridiculous and went in anyway. He got 2 steps inside and was hit over the head and knocked unconscious. He was in a coma for 3 weeks and we did not know if he would ever come out. Thankfully he did and lived to tell everyone to listen to that inner voice. There was a robbery underway when he stepped in and a guy with a ball bat was watching the door and waiting for guys like him.

He and I talked about this event after his recovery. He knows that I have spent my life teaching protection. He said he dismissed the inner voice or feeling because he thought who or what could hurt me. Well we can all be hurt, even people who have trained a lifetime.

The best self-protection tool we have is our intuition or survival signals! They are a God given gift! Allow them to do their jobs. They only want the best for you.

LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN

Safety in Social Networking

2009-07-02T13:03:00.000-07:00

There are dangers in the virtual world of social networking we should all be aware of. As adults we should be aware that in chat rooms, instant messaging and networking sites most people are just there to get socialize or network, but there are people with bad intentions in cyber space as well.

Understand that someone can say they are anyone from far away behind a computer. They can post a picture from anywhere. If you are not running a business that you are advertising for on the sites you are social networking then protect your profiles by checking that you want to approve anyone who looks at your information first. This way you make sure you know them and not just everyone has access to you information. You can protect you information on FaceBook, MySpace, and Twitter.

A person can be totally violated in the virtual world of today and it is just as important to understand how to protect yourself and your family in the virtual world as it is in the physical world.

As far as you kids go the most important thing is to talk with them openly about the dangers. Things seems safe from the safety of your home behind your computer or from the safety of a place you frequent, this is part of what makes self-defense in the virtual world so difficult.
One very important tip is to keep the computer your children use in a visible place.

Our world is changing fast, we have to be fluid and constantly learning and growing with it.

here are some websites with more info on this subject;
www.OnGuardOnline.gov for social networking safety tips for parents and youth
OnGuard Online
Source: www.OnGuardOnline.gov
www.Thefatherlife.com

Inexpensive self-defense and safety tool

2009-05-06T12:42:00.000-07:00

There is an inexpensive self-defense tool that is easy to carry and is much safer than pepper spray. This product comes in a canister similar to pepper spray and is used by boaters all the time. It is a very loud horn in a small canister that can be clipped on ones belt or in a case hooked to a key chain.
With pepper spray one has to be careful which way the wind is blowing, and really look before spraying which way the nozzle is pointed. With this horn those things do not matter. Much less chance of a mistake and hurting yourself.

These range from $8 to $12 dollars and can be purchased in any marine or boating stores and some Targets and Walmart carry them as well. The horn is very loud, so you would draw attention to any situation from 1/2 mile away at least. These are legal and with little chance of harming ones self they are also great for teens to carry. Put one in your teens backpack or hook it to the outside so they have easy access to it. Then they can call for help anytime they need. Just remind them to only use it in an emergency.

SEACHOICE (LAND&SEA) ''CANISTER AIR HORN'' 1.5 OZ This is one brand of this horn. There are a few others.

I highly recommend them. Keep a couple in your home to that are easy to access. By your bed and maybe in the kitchen. If something goes down in your home the entire neighborhood will hear about it when you "blow your horn."

Most criminals do not want to get caught in the act so they will run when you draw this much attention to what is happening.............now go MAKE SOME NOISE

The Dangers of Texting

2009-04-24T11:40:00.000-07:00

I love to watch people, it is one of my favorite pastimes. I enjoy watching people and trying to read as much as I can about a person just by observing them. From their body language, the way they move, eye contact, how they interact with others you can tell a great deal about a person.

One thing I have observed recently that concerns me as a self-defense teacher is people walking and constantly texting or ready text/e-mail on their PDA's, I-Phones ETC. People doing this are walking and constantly looking down at their phones. This is so dangerous! Talk about a distraction and not being aware of ones surroundings.

We all need to put ourselves in check with this. If you want to text or read your e-mail stop, look around you and then find a seat somewhere for a few minutes that you think is safe. When you get up to walk again, focus on walking and your surroundings. Anyone doing this marks themselves as an easier target for violent criminals. One of the things they look for in choosing a victim is someone distracted and not aware of their surroundings. This is like putting a sign over you as you walk "Easy Target."

There are also many things we miss in life, like seeing the beauty around us as we trek around this world. This is contributing greatly to so many not being present where they are at the moment. Which effects our lives and relationships negatively in numerous ways.

Make it a point to start checking yourself on how often you are present in the moment. If you are walking, where is your focus, when you are driving where is you mind, when you are with your loved ones where are you really?

One positive note about texting;
Many police departments have now implemented or are experimenting with a texting tips to police system. There may be situations where it would endanger someone to make the noise to call and speak, but you could silently text the police. This is a benefit! Find out if this is available in your city.

Burglary rising 33% in some cities

2009-03-23T17:54:00.000-07:00

The Economy is down and many have or are losing their jobs. One of the results of a bad economy is the rise of burglary and theft. In some U.S. cities it is as much as 33% higher than last year at this time .

It does not help that many police departments have made announcements that they will no longer investigate these lesser property crimes. The officers will take a report, but have made it clear that they just don't thave the manpower or funds to investigate these crimes. In effect, this gives petty criminals free range--no prosecution in all likelyhood--bring it on.

This leaves us all open to home burglary and theft. Let's talk about what we can do to protect ourselves.

First of all lets define burglary.

Burglary, also called breaking and entering (and sometimes housebreaking), is a crime where someone gains entry into a building for the purposes of committing an offense. Usually that offense will be theft.

Here are some basics when considering how to protect ourselves and our homes in this regard:

Deadbolt locks and double locks

Install and use window locks that do not all easily release at the same time

Keep shrubbery around entry ways and windows trimmed so that no one can hide in them without being seen easily

Install motion sensor lighting around your home/property

Install security systems on doors and windows that makes loud noise and alert police

Install security cameras (if possible)

Install backup power for motion sensor lights (or use solar) and security camera's

Install heavy doors that are not easy to kick in

Maintain tight seals and doorway trim around entry ways that is not easy to pop off

Invite neighbors to join you in keeping an eye on each others property and know who usually comes and goes

Get a dog--barking dogs are an effective alert system

Burglars are usually looking for the easiest opportunity with the least work and least chance of getting caught or interrupted. Therefore when you make it more difficult for them they will usually pick and easier target.

Let me be clear that there is no such thing as a full proof house. If a burglar is skilled and determined enough they can get in, but unless you have a particular item they are after or for some personal reason they are targeting you, then generally they want a quick easy job.

The next phase of this is what if someone brakes in while you are home?

You and your family, roomates, signifigant other should talk through this so you have a plan of action should this ever occur.

Senerio #1--If you are home alone and you hear someone or see someone brake in. What do you do?

My recommendation is number 1 --have a plan to get to the safest place in the house, one you can get to and lock yourself in. You want a sterdy door, with a good lock, and stuff you could block the door with like a dressers you could slide in front of the door. Access to a phone and or computer and possibly another way out. call 911 *even if you cannot speak at the moment they can track you in time.

Senerio #2--If more than one of you is home when a brake in occurs, what would you do? How would you work as a team?

This is why it is important to talk through this, so you have a plan.

My recommendation; If you have a weaker person in your group, ie. children, elderly person, handicap person. Then someone has to be responsible for getting them to safety, in security and personal protection services we call this person "the blanket". Assign that job.

Another person gets the phone and is in charge of once everyone gets to the designated safe room, locking the door and blocking the door, then calling 911.

Senerio #3--When someone comes home and finds that something is just not right. Maybe the door is adjar, or a window is open or broken that should not be and you have that feeling of something not being ok inside. What do you do?

My recommendation; Talk about what to do if this happens with those you live with. Many times people walk in on a burglary in progress and get hurt, when that is not what the burglar intended at all. When starteled the burglar quickly reacts out of fear and someone can get hurt. Burglars usually do not want any contact with people, that is not what the majority of them are about, but they also do not want to get caught in the act and go to jail.

If there is any question in your mind or in the mind of those you live with that something is out of place or not right then call the police and let them check it out.

Remember your flatscreen T.V. , laptop or any property is not worth your life!

Get renters or homeowners insurance that covers these things.

Even young adults in college I recommed renters insurance. It is unexpensive (most of the time as low as $10 to $20 per month) and burglary and theft is very common in college dorms or college apartment complexes. It is worth it parents!

Other recommendations:

yearly take pictures of your home, apartment and important personal belongings. You might be surprised that many times is your house/apartment is turned upside down by a breakin then it can take a while before you realize everything that is missing to report it. It helps law enforcement professionals as well as insurance companies if you have pictures and documentation of your cherished belongings. Make sure you have more than one copy of the pictures in case your computer is lifted also have them on a CD in your home safe, or a safe place. One safe place is to tape a CD with important personal information to the back of a family photograph. Nice art might be stolen but 99% of the time personal photographs are not.

No one should live in Fear!

Peaceful Warrior,

Sherry McGregor, Shihan

Body Language & Your Safety

2009-03-04T21:02:00.000-08:00

How does your body language effect your safety you may ask? It is really simple. Most criminals want to pick what they consider an easy target. They usually make that determination by reading ones body language. So the way we carry ourselves either lessens or makes it more likely that we are chosen as a victim of a violent criminal.

Here are a few things that violent criminals look for when looking for an Non-Threatening Easy Target;

unaware

head down

shoulders forward

lack of energy

lack of eye contact

distracted

skittish

alone

lack of self-confidence

in a vulnerable place

We can all lessen the chances of being chosen if we;

Hold our heads high

Look at people

Say Hello

Look around

Be alert and aware

Have good posture

Be confident

Know where you are going and go with purpose

Avoid isolated areas

Stick together with friends and family whenever possible

Listen to your inner voice or gut feeling

The best self-defense is to not ever get in a situation to have to use the physical techniques. If you do all the things above chances are you will never have to use the physical aspects of self-defense.

Protect our Teens & College age Young People

2009-03-04T11:07:00.000-08:00

Teen Sexual Assault and Rape

29% of all rapes that happen the victims are 12 to 17 years old! Now that is a shocking statistic. How can we protect our teens, when they are at the age of gaining more freedom and many think they are invincible.

We have to talk openly and straight with them about sexual assault. The majority of sexual assaults and rapes that happen within this age group are by someone they know. They may only know the person casually but the are familiar with them.

We have to teach our teens to watch each others backs!!!!!

If you are a good friend, you don't let your friends go off with someone you all don't know well alone. You walk together. Check on each other. Teach teens to have what I call a check in buddy.
They may not want to tell parents everything but if they let a buddy know who they are with and where they are going on a consistent basis they will be much safer.

It is also important to teach them red flags in dating relationships.

someone who is possessive
someone who wants to isolate you from your friends and family
someone who checks up on you to much
someone who has a temper (but won't with you at first)
someone who treats and talks down about women
someone who does not respect when you say "NO"
someone who constantly tries to manipulate you to what they want
someone who does not want to talk much about their background
someone who does not have good friends of their own
someone with extreem mood swings

Talk to your teen about these red flags now and it will keep them safer and save them from getting into many unhealthy relationships in their lives.