Lifeletters: Shayla Wright's Blog

A Few Places Left in ‘The Coming Home To Yourself’ retreat in Nelson

2012-07-09T17:14:00-08:00

There are a few places left in our upcoming retreat This whole retreat is structured and designed to create an optimal field for radical transformation, including the place and the food we will be eating. The ‘Coming Home To Yourself’ retreat We are sending this last call out to any of you who feel in yourself a willingness to transform. We’ll be exploring this in depth for the four days and nights of our retreat, questioning everything that limits us to a small, fixed, separate sense of identity. Questioning the beliefs and perceptions that do not allow us to directly experience the unconditional goodness of life. --What does it really require to transform? --How do we stay connected to the living flow of life? --How do we transform our relationship with the past? --How do we meet the challenges of our life with courage, wisdom and trust? This practice allows you to discover these things for yourself, not from a book, not from a teacher, but from your own direct experience

Small Courageous Acts of Change-Join our webinar tomorrow morning

2012-07-06T20:00:00-08:00

Often when we are engaging in some kind of practice, we are hoping for some kind of huge breakthrough...a state that will change everything for us. I am more and more interested in the how this light, this freedom, actually emerges in our everyday lives. I see it these days as the possibility, for small, courageous acts of change. The mind wants to take these great leaps forward, to experience immense breakthroughs, with no turning back. But deep change, radical transformation, happens in a very different way than we imagine it. The basic sanity we are longing for in our relationships is like this: The moment when I refrain from giving advice, because I realized you never asked me, and I am not the expert on your life. The moment when I let you know how vulnerable I am feeling, when I am used to being the competent one, the one who keeps it all together. The moment when I take my attention away from you and how I want you to be, and turn back to my own immediate experience in the body. The moment when the bitterness and regret in my heart for all the things that never happened opens up, and allows a drop of deep grateful sweetness. Please join our Free Intro Webinar-July 7, 9:30am pacific and find out more about how to make room in your life for these moments of grace, that can seem so ordinary.

Deep Roots To Hold Us-Free Intro Webinar on July 7, for ‘Coming Home To Yourself’

2012-07-05T13:45:00-08:00

Free Intro Webinar with Shayla & Tania Why go on retreat? Why go on this retreat? Our webinar offers you the chance to find this out for yourself This retreat offers you an opportunity for ’Everyday Awakening’. This awakening happens differently for everyone. And it always brings a sense of freedom, a lightness, a deep ease and relaxation. When we are locked into our beliefs, our thoughts and our images,we carry a deep sense of anxiety and tension. When we no longer believe that we are separate from everything, we discover that we can show up in a whole different way. The heart opens naturally, when I no longer believe in all my stories.

Lifeletter 59- A Joyous Unravelling

2012-07-04T16:10:00-08:00

I’ve heard from people who have read this Lifeletter recently, that this is the time of year to consider what I am speaking of..For those of us in summer right now,we are often carried into a wider stream, where we are connecting to all kinds of people. Sometimes we find ourselves around people who trigger deep conditioning. So I’m sending this out again, with an invitation to any of you who are discovering that this could be what you want: to live in the gentleness and aliveness of this space where you let everyone be as they are. Where you are able to listen, beyond the walls of your own points of view. Where you can speak, express yourself, from the clarity and warmth of your being. Where you find the power to question what you were taught and what you have believed. Where you discover the freedom of being wide awake awareness and fully human, at the same time. A young man in the ‘Gift of Presence’ course described it as ‘a joyous unraveling.’ The next available space for this kind of awakening and deep change is The ‘Coming Home To Yourself ‘retreat If you want to know more, please email me at Lifeletter 59- A Joyous Unraveling It’s summer, the time when family members come to stay. I live in a town that is full of tourists all summer, and I’ve seen quite a few of these moments--in restaurants, on the street, in the park--when conflicts erupt between family members, and a perfect holiday appears to be ruined. I’ve also had several clients call me this summer, saying, “My mother-in-law is here for 2 weeks and I thought I’d be fine but I need help now!” These are the moments when when we feel trapped, cornered, by our own reactivity. We find ourselves behaving in ways that we never would have chosen. One client, Claire, has been telling me about a summer visitor who was expressing viewpoints about different races and religions that were extremely judgmental. Claire found herself smiling on the outside, and boiling inside with anger, unable to respond for fear of what she would say. These excruciating moments, no matter now unwelcome, are the fertile ground for our own evolution and transformation. And usually, in a situation where we feel bound and trapped, our thinking has created a world of polarities or extremes. Claire was like someone caught between a rock and a hard place. Her only two alternatives seemed to be a kind of false, smiling acquiescence, or a fierce confrontation. Both of these are extreme positions, based on a sense that this person is totally ‘other’ and separate from us. And if we look a little deeper, we’ll see that it’s not really ever the other person that is disturbing us-- it’s our own reactions. We can’t find a way to be ourselves with them, and we don’t know how to deal with all of the conflicting thoughts and feelings that are arising. In the Radiant Mind course, there is a great exercise, in which I consciously spend some time with a person who is outside my comfort zone. No matter how liberal or tolerant I imagine myself to be, there are usually certain kinds of people that I avoid. It appears that I avoid them because of who they are, but what I am really avoiding is my own experience when I’m with them. Whenever I do this exercise, I end up picking the rowdy street people in our town. And when I spend time with them, I get to see a whole stream of conditioning that sounds like this: “What’s the matter with you? What are you doing-you are wasting your life! Clean yourself up, and go get a job.” I hear these voices inside my head and they sound like my grandfather, not me. All I can do is just open to everything that is arising in the field of my awareness, without pushing any of it away, without trying to change any of my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes the voices and the feelings get more intense. But if I can just hang in there, without getting upset about how uncomfortable it is, they start to fade away. And I’m left with a clear and simple sense that this person has nothing to do with any of my judgments, and they have a perfect right to be exactly as they are. Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of non-violent communication, speaks about an experience he had in an Indian rickshaw, listening to a diatribe of hatred coming from one of the other passengers. He got so angry and so hurt by what this man was saying that he had to remind himself many times about the principles of non-violent communication. He just wanted to tell that person that everything they were thinking and saying was totally wrong. Until he realized that he was becoming just like his fellow passenger. That’s what we overlook, whenever we get caught in our own points of view. As soon as I deny you the right to be the way you are, as soon as I believe that you really need to be different, I have fallen into a belief structure that is based on judgment, separation and violence. When Claire and I were speaking about her visitor, I said, “When you are simply present, fully aware, not avoiding or judging, then a space opens up in which you are both allowed to be just as you are. And in that space, you’ll find a way to be with her beyond the two extremes of stifling your own response, or jumping down her throat.” “What would that be?” she asked. “I just can’t imagine how I could respond to her in a good way.” “You won’t find out by thinking about it,” I said. “You’ll find out by allowing yourself to be fully present, exactly as you are, without trying to change any part of your own moment to moment experience.” “Okay,” she said, “ but just give me an idea of another possible way to be here.” “Well, “ I said, “You could listen to her, and then say, “I’m hearing that you have lots of strong viewpoints about certain kinds of people. I imagine you must have had some powerful experiences to support what you feel about these people. So these views are very real to you--I understand this. And yet I have dear friends who fit in these categories. How is it that we have such different experience with the very same people? Have you ever wondered about this?” “Well that’s amazing” said Claire. “I would never have thought of saying anything like that. Why not? Why in all these years of dealing with this person, did I never think of saying such a thing?”“

Awakening Clarity, Honesty & Hope-The Power of Retreat

2012-06-29T21:14:00-08:00

As the time for our ’Coming Home to Yourself’ retreat approaches, I’ve spent quite a bit of time speaking with people about taking a retreat. To give yourself the gift of retreat is to give a big gift. It’s not only a willingness to show up, to participate and to receive. It’s also a statement about what matters most to you, right now. I’ve been asking people about this, for the last while. Here’s what Sharon Huizinga said about her decision to participate in this retreat: “This is a short lifetime, and I know that it is precious- I would like help to establish deep understanding and fierce honesty and, well, hope.”

Lifelletter 57-Still Crazy, After All These Years

2012-06-28T17:27:00-08:00

Lifeletter 57-Part One A Love Letter To My Online Community. I am really grateful for the connection we have been sharing. Some of you have been reading my Lifeletters for years. Thank you for your comments, your feedback, your love and appreciation. Thank you, from the depths of my heart, for reading these Lifeletters. The question I offer to you now is this: Are you ready to go beyond reading? Are you ready to take the next step and discover what happens when you actually engage in inquiry? When you really rest the mind in presence? When you contact your authentic being directly? When you begin to trust the freedom and clarity and love that is always available? At this time in my life I am deliberately calling you, my online community, into a deeper engagement with what I am offering. These LIfeletters are just the first taste. They are the threshold. Why not come inside? Why not step right into the warmth, the aliveness that is here? The door is wide open. If you want to have a look at what is available, check out our upcoming 4 day retreat: ‘Coming Home To Yourself’ or go to my website: http://www.barefootjourneys.net/ There are lots of different possibilities. You can find one that is just right for you. Please send me an email if you need help with this. That’s what I’m here for. love Shayla Lifeletter 57-Part 2 Still Crazy, After All These Years As soon as we start to force and push, our human nature closes down. When we practice with precision and gentleness, our mind, heart and body remain open. In this openness there is clarity and tenderness. In this openness our deep inner wisdom can reveal itself. Many people I know, including myself, took up a practice, or some kind of therapy many years ago. We didn’t know it at the time, but what most of us really wanted was escape. We wanted to get away from life—to transcend it, fix it, improve it, make it conform to what we wanted. The last thing we imagined was this way of radical presence: showing up for life, as it is, and loving it that way. Now, I hear almost every day, about the despair and hopelessness people struggle with, after so much practice, after working on themselves for so long. As one friend of mine said recently, “Here I am, still crazy, after all these years.” This doesn’t mean that we are tragically flawed, lacking willpower, or some essential capacity. This is what the mind tells us, but it’s not true. We’ve simply been trying something that doesn’t really work. And when it doesn’t work, we think we need to try harder, instead of considering another way. There is a turning, a fundamental shift, that only happens when we really get clear. When we realize, deep in our bones, that the old way has not worked. We have to reach this clarity for ourselves, not just in our mind, but deep in the body. No-one else can tell me this, i have to reach the end of struggle in my own way, and in my own time. There is no way of knowing when this shift will happen. Or how. When we finally realize that all of this struggle is not working. Sometimes it comes suddenly, sometimes it’s like a tiny droplet of clarity and ease. Then we begin to live with a growing sense of this other way, this new way, which allows us to be incredibly persistent, but with gentleness. The gentleness that tames the ego, that dissolves the mind. Gentleness is what happens when I am truly willing to work with myself, just as I am, right in the middle of the messy, untameable reality of my life. Without this gentleness, I will keep struggling, striving, forcing, and pushing. Trying to change myself, trying to fix others. In this work of inquiry, and of resting the mind, we start from a different place. From the very beginning, we are tapping into the healing and awakening that happen when we allow everything to be as it is. By everything, I mean every thought, every feeling, every moment, every person, every situation. If you relax and rest, just for a moment, and let yourself be just as you are-- you’ll encounter this gentleness. It’s not the way we usually operate. It’s not how we’ve been trained. It’s not even something we normally consider or value. This gentleness, this wide-openness, is more like a way of being, than anything else. It’s not really a spiritual practice, because we are not trying to attain a higher state, not trying to get somewhere else, not trying to become a spiritual person. We are simply discovering what is here, already-our natural sanity and basic goodness. This way of being with our experience is not therapy either, because we are not trying to fix something, improve ourselves, or solve a problem. If we really allow ourselves to feel what this means, we start to slip outside the whole egoic framework or agenda. This can feel disconcerting, unfamiliar. And sometimes it is experienced as a profound release. What happens to me, to my life, when I give up the struggle to reach a higher state, to fix and change myself? When I allow myself to be just as I am? Not passively, but with radical presence?

‘Coming Home to Yourself’ ‘ A Free Intro Webinar tomorrow morning-Come As You Are

2012-06-16T17:09:00-08:00

With friends you grow wings.. With them you master the wind, but alone, you’re blown in all directions —Rumi Introduction to our Webinar for the ‘Coming Home To Yourself’ retreat-- Sunday June 17, 10-11am pacific Dear friends: On our webinar this Sunday we don’t want to spend too much time ‘talking about’ our retreat. We want to jump right into the water with you, so you can have a direct experience of this work. This includes the experience of working with others, of being with others in an environment that supports and nourishes your authentic being. A retreat like this offers you an opportunity to discover a powerful kind of friendship. A way of being with each other that accelerates our awakening, naturally and organically.

Your task is not to seek for love-Free Intro Webinar, Sunday morning, July 1, 10am pacific

2012-06-15T13:07:00-08:00

This is an introductory webinar for the ‘Coming Home to Yourself’ 4 day retreat in Nelson BC. July 12-16. There is a lot of talk these days about the power of awareness. What I have noticed is that awareness practices can often be quite limited in their power to really transform the way we live. Unless it is clear that the deeper nature of awareness is love. Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find within yourself all the barriers you have built against it. Rumi There is a vast difference between what we believe love to be, and the truth that we discover when we investigate deeply and fearlessly. It’s the difference between a nightmare and waking up. It’s the difference between blaming, bitterness and overflowing gratitude. Let’s face it, friends. As far as love goes, we’ve been sold a bill of goods. We’ve been taught that we have to earn it, struggle for it, modify ourselves in order to receive it. And that the people in our lives have to behave in a certain way in order to receive it. What if none of this was true? What if love is something that has nothing to do with gaining or losing? Something so basic, so fundamental, that it is our very nature? The Free Intro Webinar is Sunday July 1: Free Intro Webinar-July 1, 10am pacific

A Piece of Good News-Everyday Awakening

2012-06-12T13:22:00-08:00

Everyone has inside themselves . . . what shall I call it? A piece of good news! Ugo Betti A lot of the news that comes to us these days is difficult to bear. Things seem to be unraveling, falling apart. It’s so easy to collapse into helplessness, grief, and overwhelm. When I speak these days with people about what they want, I hear about the longing for connection, for contribution, for community. I hear about the feeling that ‘I can’t do this alone.’ I hear about the difficulties people are facing in their relationships and in their work. We can’t solve these problems with the mind that created them. We can’t discover a new life when we are still living within our old identity. We can’t create genuine authentic relationship and community when we are still believing that we are separate.

The Natural Intimacy of Presence-Free webinar on Sunday July 1

2012-06-08T13:08:00-08:00

When we really open to our natural desire to be at home, at ease, and fully alive, we discover that this is, in fact, our natural state, our true nature. An effortless presence that shines in the middle of everything, even when we experience deep sorrow, rage and despair. Coming together with this willingness to be present as we are, we discover the intimacy we have been longing for, with ourselves and with each other. We find that we can communicate in ways we never knew, with tenderness, with clarity and no separation. Please join us for our free Intro Webinar for the ‘Coming Home To Yourself’ retreat, July 12-16:Sunday June 17, 10-11am pacific