Oops!  The site is back up now.  Forgot to pay the hamsters that run the server room.  I and the Hamsters Union Local 582 have worked out an agreement.  We apologize for the outage.

Edward Scissorcoat?

The Ginger Barber?

Carrot “Just A Little Off The” Top?

He’s trying hard not to punch himself in the face for wearing such a ridiculous outfit.

Practicality?  No.

Musicality?  No.

Laughoutloudicality?  Off the charts.

Relive the Apollo 11 adventure by logging on to www.WeChooseTheMoon.org, the JFK Presidential Library’s new interactive website that will recreate Apollo 11’s lunar mission, minute by minute, with an interactive experience using archival audio, video, photos and “real-time” transmissions. The site goes live on July 16, 2009 at 8:02 a.m. and will take off at 9:32 a.m. – exactly 40 years to the minute after the historic launch.

You can view pictures and other info right now, but the real action will happen in a few days.  I know I’ll be watching.

wechoosethemoon.org

Visits to the elephant exhibit were down at the Chiang Mai Zoo in Thailand.  People thought the pandas were more interesting because a new baby panda had just been born.  So zookeepers painstakingly engineered a genetic hybrid of both species using voodoo, Crystal Pepsi, and the collected tears of Ryan Seacrest in order to bring visitors back.

Just kidding, they used water-based paint.

Via 22moon.com

While the world remembers Michael Jackson today, enjoy this eternal moonwalk.  Submit your own.  Don’t worry if you don’t know how.  80% of the people who submitted a video don’t know either.

Eternal Moonwalk

(click for larger version)

Most people know that Mark David Chapman killed John Lennon (possibly because of his pact with the devil).  But at least one person believes that it was actually horror novelist Stephen King that pulled the trigger at the behest of Ronald Reagan and Richard Nixon.  Coo coo kuh choo, indeed.

The Truth About John Lennon’s Murder

Click here to view the embedded video.

HAVE A PROBLEM WAKING UP TODAY?  THIS ALARM CLOCK SHOULD TAKE CARE OF THAT.  NEW AND IMPROVED, NOW WITH MORE BRAIN DAMAGE!

David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Fred Travalena, and now Billy Mays.  RIP, master pitchman.  Here’s hoping you don’t have to pay 3 payments of $19.95 to get to heaven.

In remembrance of this exuberant, high-volume sale-making machine, today is now ALL CAPS DAY.  ENJOY THIS TRIBUTE TO BILLY MAYS AND THE SILLIEST INFOMERCIALS OF HIS CAREER.

Reminds me of the collapsible plastic cups we used to have when I was a kid.

Using WWI and WWII propaganda posters as inspiration (e.g. original WWII version of poster to the left), this is a collection of what WWIII posters might look like.  Neat gimmick executed well.

WWIII Propagand Posters

The artist’s website: Lane Winfield

The Oklahoma woman, 36, copped a plea last week to a prostitution charge for accepting a box of Frito-Lay chips in exchange for oral sex.

By the power of Grayskull, have some dignity.  At least negotiate for something a little better, like Combos.  Or beef jerky.

Chips And Dip

Pray you don’t get behind her in the airport security line.

“After a not-at-all-surprising quick decision process, Nadia holds on to the least creepy members of the band for dear life.  Soon, one of them will make awkward, vodka-sweating love to her.”

Huge gallery of awesome Soviet Russia album covers from the 70’s and 80’s.  Seriously.  They’re great.

Soviet Russian Album Covers

Looks like the model from yesterday got tired of having a nest on her head.  Sausage is a far superior noggin cover anyway.

Various cartoon characters redrawn into different genres, situations, and levels of detail.  Very cool.

Cartoon Characters Reimagined

Click here to view the embedded video.

Bolivian TV channel PAT has been left looking a bit daft after broadcasting extraordinary images of the last moments of Air France flight 447.

So why do they have egg on their face?  The pictures were from the in-air breakup of another flight: the fictional flight 815 from the television show “Lost”.  Face, meet Mr. Palm.  Journalistic integrity is an oxymoron in Bolivia.

via True/Slant

Is that a nest on your head or are you just happy to see me?  *rimshot*
Guess the yolks on her. *rimshot*
Her varicose veins have REALLY gotten out of control.  *crickets*

And I’m spent.