“I didn’t [...]]]> Your fellow employees communicate nonverbally, and understanding their messages can make or break your job! Here are five ways to read signals from your co-workers or boss – with a special focus on the office or cubicle (not body language). And, a sprinkle of inspirational career quotations from Esteé Lauder might increase your motivation to succeed at work…

“I didn’t get there by wishing for it or hoping for it, but by working for it.” ~ Esteé Lauder.

She didn’t become one of the most successful businesswomen in history by wishing she knew how to approach her boss or deal with toxic co-workers! Lauder trusted her instincts and followed her heart (and her head!). To learn how to trust your gut at work, read The Power of Intuition: How to Use Your Gut Feelings to Make Better Decisions at Work. And, here are five office and cubicle items that offer clues to your fellow employees’ personality and tastes, which can help you work with them better (and maybe get the promotion you’re hoping for!).

Reading Nonverbal Signals From Your Co-Workers or Boss – Esteé Lauder

“The workplace is sometimes a mini-replica of home, with many of the same elements squeezed into a few revealing items,” says Jo-Ellan Dimitrius, author of Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Behavior–Anytime, Anyplace. “Office furnishings, then, usually won’t reflect an individual’s personal taste or priorities as well as photos, calendars, and other items.”

And, work settings and office props may express your boss’ or co-workers’ personalities more accurately than their home environment. At home, their surroundings are influenced by roommates, spouses, kids, relatives. At work, people are free to decorate their offices and cubicles as they wish – and thus reveal their true personalities and styles.

1. Personal or family items on desks and bookcases. “Someone’s desk can be a small collage of his personality,” writes Dr Dimitrius. “A messy, disorganized desk usually points to a messy, disorganized person, and never mind the standard assurances to the contrary…And someone who tries to impress office visitors with expensive pens and crystal paperweights will likely find the need to do so in all aspects of his life.” To read nonverbal signals at work, check if the desktop items are made by kids – or are all the items functional and practical? Are the pens designer or company-issued? These hints can change how you interact with your boss or co-workers.

2. Calendars on office or cubicle walls. The type of calendars on your boss’ or coworkers’ walls are office props that reveal personality – they’re not just measures of time! Do their calendars sport red racecars, Norman Rockwell paintings, or motivational sayings? A calendar can help you read your fellow employees by telling you about their personality, habits, and style. Calendars are also great conversation starters for awkward moments.

“In a perfect world, we’d all be judged on the sweetness of our souls,” said Esteé Lauder…but in the work world, we’re judged on our nonverbal signals and verbal communication skills at work.

3. Photos and picture frames. Does your boss or worker have photos of family, pets, landscapes, or the solar system on the cubicle or office walls? Are those pictures professional or amateur? Are the frames expensive or inexpensive, gold or wood? These workplace props can reveal hobbies, priorities, and tastes – and those tidbits can help you succeed at work.

4. Plants, fresh flowers, bouquets of roses. “The person who goes to the trouble of keeping fresh flowers or growing plants at work often cares a lot about beauty and nature in his environment,” writes Dr Dimitrius in Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Behavior – Anytime, Anyplace. People with plants in their office may also be artistic and health conscious, and may have hospital and caring natures.

5. Office layout. Is your boss’ or coworkers’ office space arranged so people can sit and talk comfortably? Does the desk face a wall, window, door, or is it in the center of the room? These are nonverbal signals that don’t only teach you a great deal about your colleagues and increase workplace communication, they can also help you cope with negative or bossy co-workers by teaching you how to pick up meaningful details.

Two final inspirational career quotations from Esteé Lauder:

“I never dreamed about success. I worked for it.”

and

“When you’re angry, never put it in writing.” 

What do you think — do you read nonverbal signals from your co-workers or boss, and has it helped your career?

“Burnout is a condition caused by unbalance: too much work or responsibility, too little time to do it,” [...]]]> If you’re overwhelmed with caregiving responsibilities, hiring a paid care provider to help you with your aging parents or ill family member may be the answer. Sarah Ban Breathnach kicks off this information on how much paid caregivers cost with a “burnout talk”…

“Burnout is a condition caused by unbalance: too much work or responsibility, too little time to do it,” writes Ban Breathnach in Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort of Joy (one of my favorite books!). “Often we think that burnout is something that happens to other women – workaholics and perfectionists. But care-aholics are also at risk…”

If you’re a caregiver of an ill or elderly parent or loved one, you might find Always on Call: When Illness Turns Families into Caregivers both informative and inspirational. And, here’s some basic information on the cost of care providers…

How Much Will a Paid Caregiver for My Aging Parents Cost?

“My husband was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis at age 44 and died at home peacefully at 57,” says Lynn Longmuir, Certified Reflexologist and author of Peace of Mind: Care for the Caregiver. “He needed care 24/7 for the last three years of his life. I was his primary caregiver around the clock – I was his age and, luckily, in good health physically and mentally. But looking back, I realize the emotional toll it took. Was it worth it? Yes. I would do it again in a minute if I had to.”

Longmuir says she’s fortunate because she worked from home and was able to juggle her schedule to care for her husband herself. Plus, her friends helped out.

In contrast, Betty Garrett needed to hire a caregiver or care provider when her husband’s health deteriorated. “He was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in 2003 and lost his courageous battle a year later,” says this author of From Hiccups to Hospice: A Survival Guide for the Cancer Caregiver. “I lacked the expertise to handle his medical needs.” Garrett founded Caregivers 4 Cancer after her husband died.

If you think you’re burning out as a caregiver but aren’t sure, you might find 5 Signs of Caregiver Burnout – Barbra Streisand helpful.

The Cost of a Paid Caregiver or Care Provider

Different levels of support have different pricetags. “Simple companionship includes activities such as sitting with, talking, going to the park or museum, and sharing lunch,” says Brenda Avadian, founder of The Caregivers Voice. “This can run as low $10-$12 an hour plus expenses, and may be arranged informally with friends.” Avadian says higher levels of care, such as regular bathing and administration of medication, can cost double that or more. For information on hiring a paid caregiver, read Move Over Hired Help is Here.

The annual cost ranges widely. Wendy Johnstone, an Eldercare Planner with the Caregivers Association of BC says caregiving costs can range from $5,000 to $50,000 per year. “The Investors Group recently surveyed 500 Canadians between the ages of 43 and 63, and found that 40% of all caregivers paid an average of $6,000 per year for caregiving help,” she says. “Additionally, a recent study by BMO Financial Group found that only 7% of Boomers asked for advice on budgeting for their aging parents’ care.”

We have a caregiving crisis, she says, and it’s not on the radar screen. “It’s simmering on the back burner, when it should be on the front burner setting off the smoke alarm.”

To prepare for caregiving costs, make sure you’re taking charge of your money as soon as possible – before a financial crisis hits your home.

Tax Credits and Help for Caregiving Costs

Canadian tax credits. Johnstone lists the tax credits that may be used by caregivers: the Caregiver Tax Credit, the Disability Tax Credit, the Eligible Dependent Tax Credit, and the Medical Expenses Tax Credit. Collectively, these tax credits can amount to as much as $10,000 (though few caregivers are eligible for the full amount). She recommends talking to an accountant about possible tax deductions.

Employment Insurance Compassionate Care Benefits. These benefits are available to employed family members caring for a gravely ill relative at risk of dying within 26 weeks. “These benefits are offered through Human Resources and Social Development Canada (HRSDC),” says Johnstone. “If you are currently working full-time with employee benefits, talk to your Human Resources Department. You may be entitled to benefits that help you find the right services.” For more information, visit Employment Insurance Compassionate Care.

Veteran Affairs Canada (VAC). This service offers a diverse set of programs and services to veterans and other eligible clients. Aids to Daily Living is a program that assists clients with the purchase of prosthetic and orthotic devices, walkers, canes, wheelchairs, etc. Go to Veterans Affairs Canada to learn more.

“Financial help for care costs vary widely from province to province,” says Alex Handyside, a Certified Senior Advisor and the owner of ScotiaCare Homecare & Caregivers Inc. “For instance, Nova Scotia recently introduced a $400 per month allowance to qualified family caregivers who provide more than 20 hours per week of care to a qualified low-income care recipient.”

Johnstone adds that – unlike having a baby or preparing for a marathon – caregiving often happens with no warning, leaving families unprepared financially, physically, or emotionally.

If you have any thoughts or questions on caregiving – or the cost of care providers – please comment below…

“A human [...]]]> Caregiving isn’t just about taking care of an elderly parent or ill loved one; being a caregiver can mean calling a depressed friend regularly or living with an alcoholic. These signs of caregiver burnout are based on inspiration from Barbra Streisand, who knows the importance of staying connected with yourself (which stressed-out caregivers aren’t!).

“A human being is only interesting if she’s in contact with herself,” says Barbra Streisand. “I learned you have to trust yourself, be what you are, and do what you ought to do the way you should do it.”

To be who and what you are, you need to cope with the stress of caregiving as soon as it creeps up. And if you’re a caregiver, you need to get help before you’re totally burned out! To stop stress in its tracks, read Preventing Caregiver Burnout (Caregiver Survival Series). And, here are five signs of burnout from experienced caregivers…

“Caregivers who are experiencing burnout likely don’t even know it because they’re so absorbed with their responsibilities,” says Karen Boyer, Caregiver Support Program Coordinator of The Friends in Parry Sound, Ontario. “In a spousal relationship, women especially feel it’s part of their marriage vows. Older generations saw the pattern of their parents caring for spouses and extended family members as being the norm.”

5 Signs of Caregiver Burnout – Barbra Streisand

1. Personal and professional neglect. According to B. Lynn Goodwin, author of You Want Me to Do What? Journaling for Caregivers, a caregiver needs help when she doesn’t have time personal care or skips her own health appointments because she’s always taking her loved one to the dentist, doctor, or other specialists. Goodwin adds that when a caregiver spends 45 minutes on a personal call at work – or the work/home scale is seriously unbalanced – she needs help.

“I just don’t want to be hampered by my own limitations,” says Barbra Streisand – which is what can happen when external responsibilities overpower who we are…and who we want to become.

2. Emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion. Philip, 80, has been taking care of his 79 year old wife, Barb, in Vancouver, BC for three years. Barb struggles with dementia, and doesn’t always comply with his requests. Their daughter, Suzanne, says he has a hard time motivating his wife to stay active. “She says ‘no’ to going for walks, getting out of bed before 11 a.m., going to church, and spending time in out-patient programs. The constant ‘no’s’ are exhausting, and he eventually stops asking.” Philip’s exhaustion doesn’t just affect him, it also affects his wife’s health. To cope with caregiver burnout, he needs to find (and implement) smart stress solutions.

3. Physical ailments because of increased stress. Weight loss or gain, sleeplessness, chronic health problems, and constantly fighting colds or the flu could be signs of burnout. Boyer describes how stress can trigger health problems: “Heather attended my caregiver support group while caring for her elderly spouse. She let out a loud shriek as I described how stress can cause inflammation in the joints. She had no prior arthritis, but was suddenly experiencing joint pain.” Heather realized that her recent health issues were related to caregiver stress.

4. Strong emotional reactions. “Once, I yelled at my kids because they didn’t help as I dragged groceries from the car on a rainy afternoon,” says Marc Silver, author of Breast Cancer Husband: How to Help Your Wife (and Yourself) during Diagnosis, Treatment and Beyond. “My older daughter said, ‘Gee, Dad, if you’d just ask, we’d be happy to help.” Boyer adds that caregivers who are burning out may become irritable, ignore offers of assistance, refuse invitations to go out, or drop out of their usual activities. 

“For me, one sign of ‘caregiver burnout’ was crying in the car,” says Silver, whose wife survived breast cancer. “Evidently a lot of guys do it, and it’s a welcome release.”

5. Loneliness and isolation. Suzanne says her father – whose wife is struggling with dementia – is lonely. “He doesn’t have adult conversations with her like he used to,” she says. “He lost his best friend.” And since Philip spends a great deal of time and energy caring for his wife, he doesn’t have much time or energy to socialize with others.

“If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it,” Silver adds. “No one can read your mind.”

Also – a final gem from Barbra Streisand – “You have got to discover you, what you do, and trust it.”

If you have any questions or thoughts on these signs of caregiver burnout, please comment below…

Ayaan Hirsi Ali wrote Infidel, a memoir describing her [...]]]> Ladies, are you living up to your own expectations of your life — your hopes and dreams, plans and goals? These five ways to get the most out of your life are based on Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s life, words, and reasons for being. She’s all about being authentic, taking risks, and trusting your inner voice.

Ayaan Hirsi Ali wrote Infidel, a memoir describing her traditional Muslim childhood in Somalia, Saudi Arabia, and Kenya (where I lived for three years…I’ve been to the streets and neighborhoods she described!). Ali survived a variety of situations that many women could not bounce back from…and neither has she, really.

Ali broke away from dutiful obedience and spoke out against traditional cultural values. Trusting her inner voice, she questioned her family’s faith, her own belief system, and how women were treated in Muslim families. Ali became a Dutch politician and influenced that country’s and legal system.

Ayaan Hirsi Ali found her true identity — her authentic self — because she trusted her inner voice.

She now lives in hiding. Read her book to learn more — her life is fascinating — and read on for five ways to get the most out of your own life…

5 Ways to Get the Most Out of Your Life – Ayaan Hirsi Ali

1. Listen to your instincts. Put other people’s expectations and opinions aside. What do you think, feel, and want? Part of finding your true identity and trusting your inner voice is letting go of the question “What will people think?” Getting older helps with accepting that people may not think what you want them to think…and letting that go. Becoming a strong woman involves tuning into your instincts and living the life you want – like Ayaan Hirsi Ali did.

2. Stay connected to your dreams and goals. You have responsibilities, duties, expectations, and life to deal with, which makes it more difficult to stay focused on who you really are and what you really want out of life. But, to start pursuing your dreams right now, you need only picturing yourself where you want to be in a year, or five years. Visualization is an effective way to get what you want out of life because it helps you learn to trust your inner voice and get started on the path to success.

3. Express your authentic emotions. If you feel angry, get your anger out – without burying your feelings in chocolate ice cream, cigarettes, wine, or frenzied activity. If you’re sad, cry or write in your journal or pray instead of shopping or watching TV. Staying in touch with your true emotions is hard (and expressing them can be even harder), but it’s a great way to make the most of your life!

4. Choose your activities carefully. Instead of participating in activities you feel lukewarm about or outright don’t wanna do, learn to say no without feeling guilty or ashamed. Limit your activities to things that represent who you are and what you believe in. When you choose what you really want to do, you’ll discover who you really are. Maybe you’ll be viewed as an infidel — but that may actually be the highest compliment you’ll ever receive! There are worse things to be compared to than strong women like Ayaan Hirsi Ali.

5. Take risks. To find your true self and live the life of your dreams, challenge yourself to try new things. Reach out to people. Let yourself be vulnerable and don’t be afraid to make waves. Trust your inner voice when it comes to taking risks, especially when you’re afraid, and find creative solutions to your problems. Being an authentic woman involves risks – there’s no doubt about it. But “if there aren’t any dragons, it’s not an adventure worth telling,” says Sarah Ban Breathnach.

Let Ayaan Hirsi Ali inspire you to get the most out of your life – and to be grateful for the life you have.

“Luck [...]]]> One of the secrets to being a successful woman is knowing when to keep pursuing your goals, and when to give up. These tips for successful life planning are inspired by quotations from Serena Williams – and they involve knowing when it’s time to give up on unhealthy goals and when it’s time to set new intentions…

“Luck has nothing to do with [my success], because I have spent many, many hours, countless hours, on the court working for my one moment in time, not knowing when it would come,” said tennis champion Serena Williams.

That’s the “10,000 hours of practice for successful people” rule, which Malcolm Gladwell describes in Outliers: The Story of Success. But, before you can practice anything for 10,000 hours, you first need to figure out if your goals are worth pursuing! Here, a psychologist and two life coaches (all published authors!) describe why giving up on unhealthy goals is an important part of creating a successful life plan.

Evaluating Your Personal or Professional Goals

Persistence and pursuing goals is admirable – especially when you think of female entrepreneurs who start their own successful businesses and somehow beat all odds to succeed. Yet, research shows that dogged determination can lead to depression, helplessness, and a weakened immune system.

Dana S. Dunn, Professor of Social Psychology at the Moravian College in Pennsylvania and author of Research Methods for Social Psychology, says that remarkable accomplishments do happen, but they’re not the norm.

“We tend to overgeneralize from a handful of instances in which people do amazing things,” says Dunn. “The danger of looking at people who succeeded against all odds is that we don’t know how they got there. We don’t necessarily know the steps they took, their background, or the support they had.”

The notions of persistence and accomplishment are embedded in many of our communities, workplaces, and families. “We’re socialized that we must always succeed, but we don’t always recognize that we’re limited by resources such as time, circumstance, and ability,” says Dunn. “Motivation isn’t the problem. Our own infrastructure can hold us back. We don’t always have the right education, technical expertise, or resources.”

Recognizing our limitations is key to achieving our goals and creating a successful life plan.

How to Recognize Unhealthy Goals

“It may be time to re-evaluate your goals when you’ve lost your joy or you’re not making as much of an effort,” says life coach Susan Wilson, author of Goal Setting: How to Create an Action Plan and Achieve Your Goals. “If you dread the thought of the goal, you’ve lost your creativity, or you resent the time and energy it takes, then you might consider a different approach. Difficult goals are challenging, but the obstacles will be balanced by the joy of pushing through and seeing benefits. If the negative parts of the goal overshadow the positives, then that goal may not be right for you.”

Impossible or unachievable goals don’t honor who we are, adds Sandra Taylor, author of Secrets of Success: The Science and Spirit of Real Prosperity. If our goals aren’t in line with our beliefs, values, personality, and future plans, the outcomes of the goal will be negative. “Look for red flags such as anxiety or objective feedback from others that your goal isn’t realistic,” she says. “Watch for the feeling that the goal and the process don’t resonate with who you are. If you’re participating in activities for their own sake – not just with the goal in mind – then you know it’s a valuable goal.”

3 Tips for Creating a Successful Life Plan for Women – Serena Williams

1. Set goals that represent who you are. “I was just tired of losing,” says Serena Williams. “Life was passing me by.” She is incredibly successful at playing tennis because she got tired of feeling left behind. Williams chose a life goal that she was passionate about, that represented who she was. And, she not only won…she’s also happy and fulfilled. To create a successful life plan, you need to figure out who you really are as a woman.

2. Set your intentions and focus on what you want to achieve. “If you can keep playing tennis when somebody is shooting a gun down the street, that’s concentration,” says Williams. What – or who – distracts you from achieving your personal and professional goals? Find a way to deal with that obstacle…even if it’s as disruptive as a shooting down the street!

3. Let go of the past. “I decided I can’t pay a person to rewind time, so I may as well get over it,” says Serena Williams. Don’t let your past mistakes, shame, or regret stop you from creating a successful life plan! Figure out how to let go of past negativity and free yourself to set your intentions and achieve your goals. Get over it…the past is behind you.

Have you set a life plan — or intentions for your life – and are you pursuing unhealthy or healthy personal or professional goals? I welcome your thoughts or questions below… 

“We all know what stress feels like,” says Liddy, who created a free Passages to Empowerment video series. “Those adrenalin rushing, nervous energy [...]]]> This stress relief plan for women is from Susan Liddy, a life coach who focuses on empowering women. Her six smart stress solutions are effective and easy – and will help mellow you out fast!

“We all know what stress feels like,” says Liddy, who created a free Passages to Empowerment video series. “Those adrenalin rushing, nervous energy type of feelings that result in overall body tension and migraine headaches. It feels like being connected to a non-stop caffeine drip minus the energy boost.”

Today’s economy – and the stress of everyday life – gives women a good reason to feel this constant “fight or flight” anxiety. If your stress levels feel unmanageable, click So Stressed: The Ultimate Stress-Relief Plan for Women(pictured) for help. And, read on for Liddy’s stress relief plan for women… 

6 Smart Stress Solutions to Help You Mellow Out Fast

These tips will help you reconnect with the powerful woman within you!

1. Talk your walk: Any kind of movement will help during stressful times. The easiest form of exercise to engage in, anytime, anywhere is to simply take a walk. Uplevel this de-stress strategy by saying a positive Truth Affirmation™ with each stride. Say things to yourself like, “I’m doing a good job”, “I am blessed”, “Everything always comes together”…

2. Hug somebody: Physical contact with another human being (or your animal even) shoots happiness hormones throughout your entire body. For an instant feel good, give someone you love a big hug and stay in the embrace long enough to share a soothing breath together. And, if you don’t have anyone nearby, then give yourself a hug instead.

3. Simplify your surroundings: A cluttered mind, ToDo list and environment is the surefire road to stressville. Mellow out by slowing your life down, putting things away, and finishing what you start. Begin by focusing on one thing at a time. Eventually you will make big strides toward getting things in order. This simple habit of highly successful women not only offers stress relief, it can improve your career!

4. Sleep on it: Rome was not built in a day, and your life goals won’t be achieved that quickly, either. Giving your body the sleep it needs is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. Activate your de-stress defenses by going to bed at a decent hour each night. And, when possible, allow yourself a quick cat nap when you need it – napping is a great stress solution for women.

5. When in doubt, leave it out: When we are super-stressed we tend to ruminate on decisions, get overwhelmed with choices, and do what one of my clients calls, “the sit and spin.” When you find yourself obsessing about what is the “right thing to do”, allow yourself to let it be for a while. Revisiting it later will likely bring more clarity and allow you to make a better, easier choice. Plus, putting stressful decisions aside for awhile can help increase your energy levels.

6. The Super Stress Solution Scenario: Instead of focusing on the worst case scenario, see if you can focus on the best that can happen. Take three minutes right now to consider the best case scenario for what is currently stressing you out. Then, move in THAT direction.

There is much for us to learn during stressful situations! Historically, much ingenuity, invention and wealth have been created during hard economic times. Enormous opportunities exist for you! When you arrive at a point where you are thinking more clearly and breathing more slowly, see how you can find those opportunities for success.

What’s your favorite way to mellow out after a long day? We welcome your tips for stress relief below…

Life Coach Susan Liddy, MA, PCC, CPCC is the founder and CEO of AspireLifeCoaching.org, a life coaching company on a mission to empower women globally. Susan is also the author of the “Secrets to Ultimate Living; What you wish you knew when you were 20!”

“You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.” [...]]]> Personal finance may not be every woman’s favorite topic – but it’s one of the most important things she’ll ever take care of in her life! Here are six steps to financial independence for women, with inspiration from the strong, successful author Ayn Rand.

“You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.” ~ Ayn Rand.

If you’re not taking control of your money, sooner or later you’ll face the consequences of your inaction (or your irresponsibility – ouch!)…and it won’t be pretty. These steps towards financial freedom for women are from Lois Frankel’s Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich: 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make with Money– click for more information. And, read on for six ways to strengthen your sense of personal finance….

6 Steps to Financial Independence for Women – Ayn Rand

1. Schedule your “retire rich” or “find financial freedom” time. Take an hour a month to think about how you can be a financially independent woman. Do you need to learn about basic personal finances, figure out where to invest $100 a month, or learn how to put money towards your retirement or children’s education? Block off an hour a month (or an hour a week, if you’re really motivated!) to pursue your financial goals.

2. Identify the flaws in your personal finance plan. If you’re not financially independent, then figure out where the wheels fell off the bus. Are you charging up your credit card bills and avoiding your student loan or mortgage loan debt? Are you financially supporting a spouse or family member when they should be doing it themselves? If you’re not financially independent, it’s for specific reasons – and the sooner you uncover those reasons, the further along the road to financial independence you’ll be.

3. Attend one personal finance course or investment seminar a month. “You can find these classes at community colleges, extension programs, credit unions, and even online,” writes Frankel in Nice Girls. “Many investment firms offer short evening programs designed for the financial novice.” If you’re going to a seminar at an investment firm, resist their sales pitches…learn as much as you can about investing your money, building your retirement income, and living within your budget. As Ayn Rand said “The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity” – and those opportunities may be right in your back yard!

4. Learn where your money “should” be going. Financial experts say your income or earnings should be divided up in specific ways. For instance, 10% of your income should be going to savings or investments, 25-40% to mortgage or rent, 8-15% to home-related expenses, 10-20% to food, 15-25% to transportation, 8-15% for medical expenses, 3-5% for clothing, 5-10% to personal or miscellaneous, and less than 5% to personal debt such as student or personal loans. If you’re spending more than these suggested amounts, then it may be time to consider shifting your expenses.

5. Take care of your credit rating by balancing your checkbook every month. “If you’re one of those women who make deposits but don’t reconcile their checkbook, then you’re more likely to treat money as dispensable – not something that has to be cared for and looked after,” says Lois Frankel. She encourages women who want to be financially independent to reconcile their accounts every month (or more often!). Your financial activities directly affect your credit score, which affects your ability to get mortgage or business loans. And if you want to be a female entrepreneur or start your own business one day, you’ll need a strong credit rating.

6. Remember that you can control your money – it doesn’t have to control you. Ayn Rand said, “Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver.” Maybe you were taught to let men manage money when you were growing up, or that money isn’t feminine or ladylike. Banish those thoughts! Remember that money is just a tool to help you enjoy life – it’s doesn’t have to be something to avoid. Use your “financial freedom time” to learn as many money lessons as possible.

Here’s one of my favorite quotations for successful women: “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” ~ Ayn Rand.

The only person who can stop you from achieving financial independence is you. Get out of your own way – and See Jane Soar!

If you have any thoughts or questions on these steps to strengthening your sense of personal finance, please comment below…