Schmutzie's Reviews

Win a Rolled Poster Print from DigitalRoom.com!

2009-09-21T10:53:00.000-07:00

DigitalRoom.com offers digital printing that uses low VOC soy and vegetable based inks and non-toxic water based AQ coatings. They also recycle all paper scraps, properly dispose of their leftover inks, and support ethical blogging, which is none too shabby. Their photo-quality poster printing service prints jobs up to 100,000 copies, offers sizes from 8.5"x11" up to 27"x39", and can turn your job around in 1 to 6 business days, depending on your needs, and they would like to extend a sample of this service to you.

When DigitalRoom.com contacted me to see if I was interested in giving away an 18"x24" rolled poster print, I had to say YES!, because, as I've mentioned before, I really like giving stuff away, especially when the stuff I'm giving away is of good quality I can be proud to back. There is just something so satisfying about writing someone an e-mail that says Congratulations! You won this thing!

To be fully transparent, I am going to receive one of these fabulous poster prints as well as giving one away, and I am having a hard time deciding what I'm going to do with mine. On the one hand, I kind of want to print one of my photos from my camping trip this summer:

On the other hand, I also kind of want to make some crazy, mash-up piece again like this:

ENTER TO WIN an 18"x24" rolled poster print of one of your own images in one or both of the following ways:

In the comments on this entry, tell me what you will do with your print when you win one.

Write about this giveaway in an entry on your own weblog that links to both this entry and DigitalRoom.com.

Enter both ways for two chances to win! Unless you don't live in the United States, because you must be a resident of the United States to win.

I will pick a winner at random using random.org on Friday, September 26th.

So, what will you do with your rolled poster print? Will you print a photograph, a piece of art, or do you have some other creative use in mind?

UPDATE: And the winner is Alyson!

The Snugglepuss from EdenFantasys

2009-09-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

Before I get rolling with this review, I must issue a warning for those of you who mistook the title to mean that I might be reviewing a Snuggie or or that I was going to write something cute about your childhood friend and mine, Snagglepuss.

This is not about SnAgglepuss with an A. THIS IS A SEX TOY REVIEW about the SnUgglepuss with a U. Turn back now if you don't want to read about things that end up being directly related to my nethers.

To those of you who are still here, hello! I've decided to branch out into the world of sex toy reviews, and I received my first toy for review a couple of weeks ago. You'd think I would have hopped on it pretty quick, pun intended, but I did not. First, I ended up contracting something very much like pneumonia, which may have actually been pneumonia had I gone to the doctor for a diagnosis, that had me sleeping 12 hours a day and wishing I was sleeping for the other 12 hours. The idea of getting down with my bad self just seemed so very much like work when getting a glass of water made my muscles ache. As soon as I regained full consciousness, though, I did my civil duty to all those women out there who need to know specifics about the Snugglepuss , because knowledge is power. At least, in this case, it is if you are in line to purchase a new sex toy.

I chose the Snugglepuss from EdenFantasys' extensive collection of vibrators, because it looked interesting. I am most used to the usual penis-shaped variety, and so the Snugglepuss jumped off the screen at me. I had never played with a toy of its shape before, and it looked like a nice alternative to the old in-out. Other points in its favour were that it has the highest material safety rating and is also rated as one of the top 100 G-spot vibrators. Excellent, I thought. It is safe, effective, and curiously shaped. This should be fun!

The Snugglepuss is a made of soft, pink silicone covered in nubs with both an internal G-spot end and an external clitoral end, the latter of which is outfitted with fins that butterfly out on either side to stimulate your labia. I was excited to dive right in, but it turned out that this toy needs a little patient work before it can be used. It is run by three watch batteries stored in the clitoral end, and it took some patience and time to roll back the silicone sleeve, remove the battery protection sticker, and then roll the silicone sleeve back into place. Once that's done, though, your Snugglepuss is ready to rumble.

Did I neglect to mention its other very promising feature? The Snugglepuss is PRESSURE-ACTIVATED and HANDS-FREE, which means that when pressure is applied to press the two ends away from each other, the vibrator is set into action. The switch to activate vibration is in the U-joint. This is the sort of feature I'd like to see more often in vibrators. It just seems so much more intuitive and organic than manually operated dials or buttons.

My first go with the Snugglepuss was a disappointment, though. It was not a joy to insert. Lubricant helped, but the nubs were an irritant when I tried to slide the toy into place, and then once it was in place, the toy felt more wedged in than naturally positioned. The other issue I had is that no matter how far I moved the Snugglepuss forward or back, I could not get the clitoral end to sit properly over my clitoris. Also, and I don't know if this is due to my particular anatomical makeup or what, but as soon as the toy was inserted, its fit with my body meant that it was pushed open enough to vibrate, which meant that it was always vibrating. I was hoping to have a little more control over that by actively applying the pressure myself while using the toy. I really did enjoy the feel of the fins on my labia, though, and the Snugglepuss is a very quiet ride, which is a definite bonus. I've always found it difficult to keep my mind on task when it sounds like I'm using a set of electric eggbeaters.

I chalked up my first go with the Snugglepuss to being at the bottom end of what would hopefully be an enjoyable learning curve. It threw down the gauntlet with all its pink softness and nubbiness and and kinky little labial fins, and I wanted what it was offering.

My second go with the Snugglepuss was much the same, though, so I took my problem to the internet, which told me to apply more lube. I applied extra lube, but I still had pretty much the same experience. I am nothing if not persistent, though, so I invited the Palinode along for my third Snugglepuss session. The third time's a charm, right?

No, the third time was not a charm. Even with the Palinode playing along, the Snugglepuss' design flaws were just too glaring for me to get off. It's nubs were irritating going in, the clitoral end did not sit properly on top of my clitoris even when I held it down with my hand, the batteries started giving out after only a few uses, and it had one setting, ON, which I would not have minded had I been able to control whether it was on or not. It seems to me that this product could stand for a bit of redesign, because it is a promising little gadget with all the features I want — high safety rating, soft and pliable silicone, G-spot/clitoral/labial stimulation, and a gentler vibration that gives me enough time for play before getting off — but the features were just situated in the wrong places. It did inspire the Palinode and I, though, so I'll give it a thumbs up for the warm up. I like its vibe if not the sum of its parts.

If you are new or newer to sex toys, I would suggest that you find something that requires a little less work on your part to enjoy. I may not have had the most fun with the Snugglepuss, but EdenFantasys has an incredible collection of women's sex toys in a wide range of prices to fit any budget and inclination, and when I say that they have a wide range, I mean they have hundreds. You would be hard pressed not to find something you like. Also, check out their fall sale, and if you're feeling creative, cross "naming a sex toy" off your bucket list and help Duncan Charles Designs name one of their new products.

UPrinting.com Can't Stop Giving Stuff Away!

2009-09-02T14:19:00.000-07:00

UPrinting.com has another excellent giveaway for you! I say it's excellent, because I used Uprinting.com to create my business cards for the BlogHer '09 conference in Chicago, and they turned out beautifully. Because the card stock was quite thick and I had opted for a matte coating, they looked professional and received some fairly positive reviews when I was at the conference. When I do eventually order a new set of cards, though, I think I'm going to spring for the die cut business cards, because it's such a pleasing little design feature.

Here's the front of my business card:

And here's the back:

I have two sets of 500 business cards to give away to you, and you're going to like them, because you've actually got options. I know! A giveaway with options! If you are lucky enough to win, you can choose from the following options to create your cards:

business card sizes can be 2x3.5", 2x3", or 2x2".

the paper can be either 14pt matte- or gloss-coated cardstock or 13 pt uncoated cardstock.

colour can be (4/4) colour on both sides, (4/1) colour on one side / black and white on the backside, or (4/0) colour on one side / black on the backside.

How to enter to win one of two sets of 500 business cards each:

Leave a comment on this post telling me about your plans for your business cards.

Tweet this message on Twitter to gain a second chance at winning: Enter to win a set of 500 business cards at Schmutzie's Reviews! http://tinyurl.com/mgs53h #schmutziestuff.

You must have a shipping address in the United States, and the shipping cost will be paid by the winner. I will use random.org to generate a random number to pick a random winner one week from now on September 9th.

I've been thinking of having a second set made up to use as tags for the items I sell in my Etsy shop. What will you use them for?

UPDATE: Sue and megscreations are the two winners, each receiving a set of 500 business cards! I have my own set from UPrinting.com, and they do good work. Congratulations!

250 Free Greeting Cards from UPrinting.com Could Be Yours!

2009-08-18T09:50:00.000-07:00

I have 250 free custom greeting cards to give away from UPrinting.com!

When this opportunity popped up, I sat back and wondered what the hell I would do with 250 greeting cards. I have a history of being really bad at the greeting card thing. I think that the last time I gave out anything like holiday cards was back in elementary school, and they were those cheap, perforated ones that came in sheets.

Was I the right person for this giveaway?

And then it hit me. These greeting cards could be used for just about anything. I could use them for invites to an event, like an art opening or a flash mob or something. I'm not likely to organize a flash mob, but you might want to, and why not add a formal touch to the whole affair? Or, I could create a bunch of thank you cards specifically targeted to people in the service industry. Instead of just throwing cash on the table as a tip, I could stick it in one of those thank you cards with a note about good they are at their job. I used to serve specialty coffees, and something like that would have made my entire week sometimes. Or, you could join the hope revolution and use these cards to spread some goodness around.

Me? I have a top secret mission planned for my cards, and I'm keeping mum about it. If my super top secret mission pans out, I just might move ahead and order more custom postcards. I'll let you know if my mission yields fruit.

The 250 greeting cards are 7" x 5" half-fold with a matte or gloss coated 10 pt cover. They will be printed with a full color outside and a blank inside. The only part of this giveaway that isn't free is the shipping, which must be paid by the winner, and shipping is only available within the United States. Sorry my Canadian fellows.

How to enter to win 250 free greeting cards from UPrinting.com:

Leave a comment on this post telling me what your plans are for your greeting cards.

Post an entry about this giveaway on your own weblog and leave a comment here to let us know that you have done so.

Tweet about this giveaway on Twitter and include this hashtag in your tweet: #schmutziestuff.

I will use random.org to generate a random number to pick a random winner one week from now on August 25th.

What are you going to do with your greeting cards? Are you going to make family Christmas cards? Wedding invites? Who's up for a formal flash mob?

UPDATE: ChurchPunkMom has won! Congratulations!

Why UPrinting.com Isn't Your Average Printing Company

2009-07-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

UPrinting.com is not your average printing company, and I would know, because I've been working with them for a while now. They have been a sponsor of Schmutzie.com and have been wonderful to partner with. Their support has allowed me to do giveaways of business cards and a gallery wrapped canvas print, which print, by the way, was of gorgeous quality. Giving stuff away is one of my favourite things to do around here when I get the chance, because it fills me with this nerdy little rush that gets me clapping my hands together like an excited four-year-old.

UPrinting.com is extending an opportunity to YOU, and I wanted you to know about it. Even if you don't have a blog that wants sponsoring, UPrinting.com also supports non-profits and social justice projects. Here's the word from UPrinting.com:

Why UPrinting.com isn't your average printing company:

Blog Sponsorships:
If you are looking to find a sponsor for your blog, UPrinting.com is definitely interested. We offer giveaways, advertising and more for qualified bloggers.

Non-Profit Sponsorships:
The U-Community Program sponsors hundreds of non-profits and education to improve our local communities.

Social Justice Projects:
The UPrinting Kiva account promotes small business growth in developing countries.

Green Printing:
UPrinting supports a sustainable future by recycling, using non-toxic inks, and offering eco-friendly recycled paper stocks for business cards and postcard printing.

Feel free to ask me questions in the comments, and do contact UPrinting.com. They're good people.

The Winner of the Fit-in 15 Giveaway Is Announced!

2009-06-30T10:01:00.000-07:00

Hello-oh? Anybody out there?

I was away up north in a forest to witness the marriage of two dear friends of mine, and then I had a two-day technological snafu that nearly short-circuited my delicate brain matter, so it has taken me a while to announce the winner of my Fit-in 15 giveaway.

Just to refresh your memory about Fit-in 15:

Fit-in 15 has been developed by Canada’s Doctors of Chiropractic, experts in muscle and joint function, and champions of healthy living. They recognize that it can be hard to find time in a busy day to focus on physical activity. That’s why they created Fit-in 15, an easy and manageable way to start the habit. Once Fit-in 15 becomes a regular part of your day, you may find yourself fitting in more.

I have been using the website to encourage myself to continue to move my body every day, because I have gotten into the terrible habit of never moving ever, especially over the last year, and it has me worrying about my heart, lungs, bones, and my ability to live into an old age I can actually enjoy.

Since signing up for the motivational e-mails and keeping up with my progress calendar, I have been able to start forming a new habit for motion. I like moving. I really do now. Where I once thought that lazy was my natural state, I've now realized that that was just a physical depression brought on by lack of motion. Not being able to sit still for hours on end is still a bit of a novelty, but I think I can handle it. It's kind of a relief to discover energy I didn't know I had.

Would you like to know who random.org chose to win the iPod Shuffle and the $20 iTunes gift card? Drumroll, please...

Daysgoby! Drop by her website and offer your congratulations.

I urge the rest of you to head on over to Fit-in 15 and get into the daily habit of staying active. It does't take much — go for a photo walk, play on the equipment at the park, use soup cans as weights — and the extra energy that you'll find showing up in your life will be more than enough reward. I swear.

Fit-in 15 Check-in

2009-06-21T10:17:00.000-07:00

How are you doing with the Fit-in 15? Surprisingly, I am doing really well. In fact, I'm doing better than well. I've actually been at least doubling that fifteen minutes over the last four days, which is something I didn't really expect from my normally very sedentary self. It seems that once I started moving around on a regular basis, even if it has only been for a handful of days, I wanted to keep moving around. It feels good.

I have only this one body, so I figure that I should probably use it before it hits its expiry date.

Because I have been combining the Fit-in 15 with the early stages of my Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred, I was planning on taking a picture of my gut every third day to document my progress, but it turns out that my body has decided to swell up with a lovely case of hormonally induced bloating, so not only would the photo not show my progress, but it would also make it look like I have been supplementing the Shred with mini-donuts and milkshakes. I assure you, though, that progress is being made. The ache in my thighs can attest to that fact.

I've been getting my Fit-in 15 reminder e-mails and diligently filling in my calendar to keep myself honest, and I have to say that Fit-in 15 is helping me to stay on track with my new push to become healthier and more active on a daily basis.

I've closed comments on this entry in order to encourage you to comment on my original Fit-in 15 post, because if you are a Canadian, you could win an iPod Shuffle and a $20 iTunes gift card just by leaving a comment. No kidding. So head on over and comment already!

Fit-in 15 for Active Living, an iPod Shuffle, and a $20 iTunes Gift Card

2009-06-17T08:30:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I wrote an e-mail to a friend in which I joked that I hadn't actively worked out for a sustained period of more than five minutes since 1986. Something about that joke sounded less hyperbolic and more true, so I thought back over the last 21 years and realized that, unless you count the belly dancing class I took a couple of years ago that I skipped out on half the time, I haven't seriously exercised except for walks to the grocery store since 1988. That's 21 years, people.

Yeah. I'll let that sink in for a second.

I kind of freaked out about how I was probably rushing myself into an early grave and ordered Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred while directing the Palinode to bring home some light hand weights after work. Just when I was wondering how I was going to keep myself on track with this whole exercise-to-stave-off-death thing, because my track record is terrible, I was contacted asked if I would like to participate in the Canadian Chiropractic Association's one-week active living challenge, the Fit-in 15.

What is Fit-in 15?

Fit-in 15 has been developed by Canada’s Doctors of Chiropractic, experts in muscle and joint function, and champions of healthy living. They recognize that it can be hard to find time in a busy day to focus on physical activity. That’s why they created Fit-in 15, an easy and manageable way to start the habit. Once Fit-in 15 becomes a regular part of your day, you may find yourself fitting in more.

This came at just the right time. I figure that if I layer the Fit-in 15's motivational e-mails and progress calendar onto my Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred, I might just be able to turn this physical activity thing into a daily habit.

You can't really tell how very, very much I need this in the photo below, because, you know, the HOTNESS, but my body sort of feels like a soft loaf of Wonderbread. Normally, I would keep this sort of thing to myself, but I am willing to go to great lengths to keep myself on track, and if that means showing you my pasty, white, kind of blurry midsection, then that's what I'll do. Fit-in 15 is more about encouraging people to start small and simply begin forming the habit of being active every day and less about dramatic transformation, but I wanted to show you what has motivated me to take part in this challenge. For your health and safety, I am keeping the present state of my butt to myself.

And guess what? I have a motivational carrot to dangle in front of you, and we all love motivational carrots. I have an iPod shuffle with a $20 iTunes gift card to give away. Here's how to qualify:

You must be a Canadian resident to enter this giveaway.

Tell me what you do on a daily basis to stay physically active or tell me how you are participating in Fit-in 15 in the comments for a chance to win.

If you also post about Fit-in 15 on your website, leave a second comment here with a link back to your entry, and you'll have TWO chances to win!

Physical activity! Health! An iPod Shuffle! Leave a comment!

UPDATE: The giveaway closing date is midnight CST on Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009.

Get a $30 Discount on Sheepskin Boots by Whooga

2009-06-10T07:20:00.000-07:00

Michael from Whooga contacted me yesterday to ask if I might know some people who are interested in a $30 discount on his line of sheepskin boots. Michael, I thought, I just might.

Boots? For our feet? But, of course! I have a bit of a thing for footwear if the the shoe rack by my front door indicates anything, and I also really like to give things away, and a discount on boots is kind of like a cross between footwear and free, so I'm in like sin.

Whooga makes a superior line of sheepskin boots in colours ranging from white to black with browns, purples, and whatnot in between. They even do the boot in a line of metalics. Whooga believes that "...sheepskin boots should be the ultimate indulgence for your feet...", which is why they make them with a premium grade of smooth Merino sheepskin. The lower grades of sheepskin usually used to make traditional Australian ugg boots are comparatively cheap to the Merino sheepskin that Whooga uses, but Whooga's use of the higher quality Merino sheepskin means that their boots have a softer and lusher feeling against your skin (not scratchy), have thicker foot beds with greater spring, are warmer in winter and cooler in summer, and have improved durability for longer lasting comfort.

And now for the part where YOU get the discount.

If you would like $30 off a pair of these boots — I kind of like the Tan Weaves with their Star-Warsy desert aesthetic — simply enter this discount code: SCHMUTZIE.

This discount code may be used once per customer and will be good for the next four months. If you are worried about shipping costs, don't. Whooga ships its boots for the low flat rate of $15 USD.

I should also mention that they are running a Whooga ugg boots giveaway, so if you want a chance to win a pair, follow the link and take part.

What pair do you have your eye on?

UPrinting Gallery Wrapped Canvas Print Winner Announced!

2009-06-09T10:11:00.001-07:00

We have a winner!

In order to pick a winner, I numbered each of the comments and blog posts in order of entry date, and then I used random.org to randomly generate the winner's number, but you really don't care about that, because you just want to know if YOU won.

The gallery wrapped canvas print goes to NOT UNDECIDED! If you are Not Undecided, you will be contacted shortly by UPrinting so that you can claim your prize.

If you didn't win but are still interested in creating prints of your favourite photos for yourself or as gifts for other people, UPrinting offers a variety of printing services, including poster printing. I am horrible at figuring out what to give people on special occasions, but now that I think about it, I could totally whip up a poster in Photoshop to make it look like my brother is jumping off a cliff with bags full of kittens. I know that sounds weird, but he would completely appreciate the humour in that one. I wonder if it would go with he and his wife's decor?

UPrinting Giveway: You Could Win a Free Gallery Wrapped Canvas Print!

2009-05-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

I am seriously very excited to tell you about this 16X20 GALLERY WRAPPED CANVAS PRINT that I am giving away. Gallery wrapped canvas prints are so beautiful as is that they can pretty much be hung on your wall without worrying about extra framing, and I actually prefer them to frames prints, which is why I am excited to tell you the next thing which is very, very awesome.

On behalf of UPrinting.com, who do everything from business cards to poster printing, I am giving away a 16X20 GALLERY WRAPPED CANVAS PRINT. Oh, right. I already told you that. Well, what I haven't told you is that this giveaway is in honour of Father's Day, which makes this giveaway extra awesome, because I don't know about you, but I find my father particularly difficult to buy for. I feel like I am far too old to rely on the old golf balls/tie/socks routine, but I'd feel kind of weird giving him a hammer *, and this gallery wrapped canvas print idea is perfect for him. There is this one photograph that his late brother took of me when I was three years old, and I'm thinking that that one is perfect for a canvas print to give him for Father's Day. It has just the right amount of sentimentality and family history tied to it.

Right, so on to the giveaway! Here's how to enter for TWO chances to win:
1) Are you a Canadian or United States resident? Yes? Then move on to number two.
2) In the comments, describe the photo you would use for your gallery wrapped canvas print if you won.
3) If you would like to have two chances to win, post an entry about this giveaway on your own weblog with a link back to this entry.

You have until the evening of May 31, 2009 to enter. I will assign each of the entries a number and use random.org to pick a winner, after which I will post an entry announcing the lucky entrant.

So, what would you like to see on your gallery wrapped canvas print?

Good luck everyone!

----------------------------

* I'm not exactly sure why I defaulted to a hammer as being the alternative gift to the usual golf balls/tie/socks. I guess that I just don't know a whole lot about tools or other things that my dad might be interested in, and my dad's a man's man kind of guy, so I picked the most basic tool I could think of that I know he'd find useful, although, to be honest, I've never seen him hammer anything that I can remember.

UPrinting Giveaway Winners!

2009-05-20T11:51:00.001-07:00

As promised, we have TWO lucky winners of 500 free business cards each from UPrinting!

As I've mentioned before, UPrinting is a company with over 25 years of experience in business card printing, and they asked me if I would like to offer up 1000 free business cards to my readers, to which I of course said yes. I love giving away presents, and apparently you all like to receive them, because twenty-some of you entered to win, and I used random.org to randomly pick the two bloggers fated to enjoy them.

The first winner is Mamalang, who, as a future fellow Etsy seller, wants to use them to promote her goods. It seems we both have the same idea. The second winner is Temerity Jane, whose new freelance writing career wouldn't suffer from some good promo materials, either. It's such a joy to give these business cards away to winners who will both be using them to further new endeavours.

You two lucky ducks can expect an e-mail shortly from UPrinting so that you can claim your prizes. Enjoy!

UPrinting Wants to Give You 500 Free Business Cards

2009-05-12T18:16:00.000-07:00

It's a giveaway! And don't we all love giveaways? Okay, well, some of you don't, but you are just supremely weird. This is a chance at getting your hands on some free stuff, and free stuff is always more awesome than stuff that is not free, isn't it? I never find myself mooning about the apartment wondering why I don't have a bottle opener with a magnet on it, but damn it if I don't glow a little when some business gives me one with their logo on it for free. Suddenly, I've just experienced a wee bit of Christmas.

UPrinting, a company with over 25 years of experience in business card printing, asked me if I would like to offer up 1000 free business cards to my readers, and I kind of had to say yes, because I have a thing for business cards. They are such great little means of introduction, and they have the potential to be really freaking cool.

So, I have two sets of 500 business cards each from UPrinting to give away to two lucky entrants, and, because you're such smart little kittens, I am sure that you probably have need of these tools of self-promotion. I know I do.

You can enter to win one of two ways (or both ways for a double entry!):

leave a comment here that explains the creative way in which you would put these cards to use, and/or

write a post on your own blog that links both to this giveaway blog entry here and to www.uprinting.com.

This contest will run for the next three days until the evening of Friday, May 15, after which I will use random.org to generate two random winners, and then I will contact the winners and post an announcement here. Please note that product shipping is free within the U.S. and Canada, but all other locations must pay shipping.

So, have at it in the comments! How would you use 500 free business cards?

Sally Hansen Healing Lip Butter Does My Lips Good

2009-03-07T08:35:00.000-08:00

Sally Hansen Healing Lip Butter is, hands down, the best thing that I have ever applied to my lips.

Living in Saskatchewan means that half my year is spent forging through subzero temperatures with wind chills that can dip as low as -60°C. I am very much not kidding here. It does get that cold, and I have been known to head out to the corner store during that kind of weather, and the lips suffer the consequences. On top of that, I also tend to be a lip chewer. When I am thinking or creating, I pick and chew at the skin on my lips until they are in an abysmal state.

This combination of the climate and my bad habits has had me hunting through lip care aisles in pharmacies in four different countries. I have tried all the garden variety chapsticks, ones that are herbal-based, pots of goop that smell like a medicinal chest rubs, and ones that claimed to moisturize but were no more than rapidly disappearing glosses. Some I have continued to use solely because they keep the skin from falling off my lips. Obviously, I needed something better.

It was a desperate night about two months ago when my lip actually broke open to the point of bleeding — yay, January in Saskatchewan! — when I found myself in yet another lip care section in a pharmacy, and there it was, Sally Hansen Healing Lip Butter. It was $14, which was more than twice what this cheap soul has ever paid for lip moisturizers before, but a glance around the rest of the display told me that this was the last one I had not tried, so I forked over the cash and put it on my lips as soon as I got into the car.

To be honest, I wasn't that impressed with its consistency initially. It felt overly sticky and thick at first, but after it warmed to my skin, it melted in and did its work. It offers a bit of shine without looking slimy and slick, and it is unscented, which I definitely prefer. Within less than 24 hours of using this stuff every couple of hours, my lips felt fantastic. I checked them out in the mirror, and they didn't look chapped, split, or bitten. The "Healing" part of the name does not lie. My lips looked kind of amazing.

I can safely say that this was the best $14 I have ever spent on lip moisturizer, and if the price is throwing you off, I'll have you know that this stuff is so good that I use half of what I do of any of my normal brands, so it last twice as long. It's worth it.

Blip.fm: An Online Music Station Where You Get To Be The DJ

2009-02-28T15:31:00.000-08:00

I was ~~wasting~~ spending some quality time on Twitter the other day when I noticed that several people there were tweeting links to songs on Blip.fm. I'm always up for a good ~~time-waster~~ bit of music, so I headed over, signed up, and took a look around.

Blip.fm streams millions of songs, and users can do a search for specifics music artists or songs and blip them, which is like tweeting on Twitter, only your note is also accompanied by the song you found. Blip.fm actually lets you share your blips on tens of different social platforms, so you can update not only on Twitter but also on Facebook, FriendFeed, and just about everywhere else right from Blip.fm. My first time out of the gate, I sent so many songs over to my Twitter account that a couple of people threatened to stop following me there. Oops. I guess not everyone wants their stream of tweets interrupted every two minutes with Nishida Sachiko's "Coffee Rhumba".

See what I did there? Blip.fm lets you embed songs on other sites, so if you want music to go with a weblog entry, you can grab it there and take it with you.

I'm still figuring the whole thing out, but I must be doing okay, because I've already got 52 props from fellow users, which is like sending kudos to people who you think have good taste, and I've got 54 listeners, so my taste in music must be decently palatable, at least to those 54 people.

This afternoon has been all about unearthing music that I'd never heard of before but now cannot stop listening to thanks to all the other Blip.fm users, and the Palinode is having to suffer my constant interjections. "Hon! You have got to hear this song!" Luckily, he's a very patient soul.

Go check it out. Once you settle in a bit and collect a group of other users' stations to listen to, it's like having a radio station on hand that doesn't play Britney's "Circus" every half hour, unless that's the way you like it.

Adidas Absorbent-Deo Wetness Control for Women, Fitness Fresh

2008-10-17T15:18:00.000-07:00

When I bought this "absorbent-deo", as it is called on the front of the case, I have to admit that I was not as schooled in the world of deodorants and antiperspirants as I assumed I was. I thought that there were deodorants, antiperspirants, and deodorant antiperspirants, so because the package did not only say deodorant on the front, I made the wild assumption that it was also an antiperspirant, which is what I usually buy, but I was terribly wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.

Adidas Absorbent-Deo Wetness Control for Women, Fitness Fresh does have the lovely fresh floral spice scent that it boasts about on the case, but that is where my enjoyment of this product ended. I really did give it the benefit of the doubt, because some days I am just funkier than others no matter what I do, but even though both my spouse and I used it faithfully for over two weeks, taking care to shower every day in order to cancel out any unnecessary extra funk, we gave up. I now apologize to everyone who had the misfortune of sitting next to either of us during that span of time.

It says on the cap that it was "developed with athletes", which now, after having used Adidas Absorbent-Deo Wetness Control for Women, Fitness Fresh, suspiciously evades the question of whether any athletes actually used the product. It doesn't surprise me. Both the Palinode and I noticed that it didn't decrease our respective personal stenches at all, and that, in fact, it increased the foulness of our respective personal stenches. Had I not used it at all, I could have avoided the heady, sour, dank smell that would erupt from my armpits within the first couple of hours following application. The absorbent-deo transmogrifies from a really pleasant sweet smell to a really unpleasant sourness within a short period of time. Neither one of us were pleased, especially since we ended up walking around with our arms pressed to our sides like robots with stiff shoulder hinges in order to avoid stench leaks.

Because of my upbringing, I cannot bring myself to throw away even the worst of my toiletries buys, so I have a cupboard full of hair dyes, soaps, moisturizers, and boxes of tampons that I won't throw out but also won't give away because they suck so much. Adidas Absorbent-Deo Wetness Control for Women, Fitness Fresh, meet the CLR Bathroom & Kitchen Cleaner. I am sure that you will be very happy together.

Carmex Click Stick™ Lip Moisturizer

2008-10-06T19:18:00.001-07:00

I bought this chapstick at a Walgreens when I was in San Francisco this summer.

Before I go on, let me make it clear that I actually like this chapstick quite a bit. I'm from Canada, and I had not seen the Carmex brand in stick form before, so I was happy to find one of my favourite brands of lip balm in a convenient stick form.

I just realized that I might have made you think that we do not have lip balms in stick form up here in Canada, but we do. I just hadn't seen this particular brand in stick form here. We probably do have it here, and I just haven't noticed it before.

And you are still here after that riveting beginning. I love you a little.

In the spirit of the label on this lip balm, though, I lied in that first paragraph. I did not buy this chapstick because of its convenient stick form. I don't think that I have ever bought anything because it was in stick form. Ooh, it looks like a stick! I must have it! That's just weird. No, I initially bought this lip balm because its label claims that it has "Click Stick™ Movement Control Technology". I wondered what the heck that meant. Do you know what it means? "Click Stick™ Movement Control Technology" means that when you turn the little dial at the bottom, not only does the chapstick rise up or down out of the tube, but it also clicks as it goes. That Click Stick™ technology is pretty revolutionary. It CLICKS, people. You can't beat that.

After buying the chapstick and applying it to my lips, I licked them, because the label claims that it has a strawberry flavour. It might smell strawberry-ish, but it also smells just like every other sugar-based snack dyed red that I have ever eaten. Who cares, right, as long it's a smell I can live with, but it claimed to have flavour, and it did not have any flavour whatsoever. In fact, I just applied it to double-check, and I tasted nothing. I think that they must be equating "flavour" with "smell", which is considered an archaic use of the word. If that's the case, then my desk from IKEA is vinyl-flavoured. Mmmm, vinyl.

Despite this chapstick's over-excitement about being able to make clicking noises and slight misuse of the word "flavour", I like it. I usually have chapped lips, and when I apply this Carmex Click Stick™ stuff, they don't look or feel chapped, and because it doesn't actually taste like anything, I am saved from compulsively eating it off my lips, which only serves to make my chapping worse. It's non-greasy, non-glossy, and lasts for quite a long time.

I give it a thumbs up.

Cringe: Teenage Diaries, Journals, Notes, Letters, Poems, and Abandoned Rock Operas

2008-09-21T18:02:00.000-07:00

I received a copy of Cringe: Teenage Diaries, Journals, Notes, Letters, Poems, and Abandoned Rock Operas in the mail the other day. I was thrilled, partially because I almost never get packages in the mail, and partially because I met Cringe's editor, Sarah Brown of Que Sera Sera, at the BlogHer '08 conference in San Francisco, and I am a little bit smitten with her.

Way back in 2001, Sarah Brown began the bizarre habit of e-mailing the most embarrassing and painful pieces from her childhood and teenage journals to friends and family, which eventually grew into the first of many public Cringe events beginning in April of 2005. Sarah started hosting the monthly event at Freddy’s Bar & Backroom in Brooklyn on the first Wednesday of every month, and "...brave souls [came] forward and read aloud from their teenage diaries, journals, notes, letters, poems, abandoned rock operas, and other general representations of the crushing misery of their humiliating adolescence." After being featured in magazines, in newspapers, and on television over the next three years, Cringe found itself with a book deal and ended up in my happy little hands in mid-2008.

I immediately parked myself out on the balcony and read it from cover to cover in one sitting. Normally, my attention span runs off to a new place every thirty seconds or so, but I stuck with Cringe all the way from the Introduction (which I pretend to care about but rarely bother with in books) to the Contributor Bios (which I also usually skip, but don't pretend to care about). ALL of it was that good.

I could pass off my extended interest as a reaction to all the brightly coloured pages and the one-page length of all but a few of the submissions, but really it was the fact that it was so much like reading my own diary from the mid- to late-eighties. Is it wrong that it felt so therapeutic to read other people's cringe-worthy diary entries about unrequited loves at fourteen, the politics of friendship, and the misunderstood complexity of the goth aesthetic? Because, wow, did it ever. It didn't even feel the least bit pathetic that I found it entirely fulfilling to have my adolescent angst laid out and normalized through this collection of pained adolescent histrionics. It gave me a perspective and sense of humour that I sometimes still find difficult to maintain when it comes to the late-1980s / early-1990s period of my life. I had to deal with bucked teeth and a flat chest, damn it! Life was hard!

After I finished Cringe, I dragged out the box filled with my old journals and high school yearbooks. I was all ready to read the hate poetry I wrote about that classmate I couldn't stand but had to be nice to or about that heartrending time my unrequited love barely spoke to me for an entire weekend while a bunch of us were at the lake together. It was going to be painful and nauseating and oh-so-funny! Except that it was not to be. My box of journals is ominously devoid of anything from before I graduated high school. I am suddenly paranoid that I left them at my parents' house and that my mother knows what I did that time in the station wagon out in the church parking lot.

If you will excuse me, I'm off to call my mother.

On The Road

2008-09-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

Richard Gere and Diane Lane in "Nights in Rodanthe"

BlogHer and Warner Bros. asked a group of bloggers to share their own Second Chance stories in honour of the new film, "Nights in Rodanthe". The following piece is about one of my own personal experiences with second chances.

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I spent the earlier two-thirds of the 1990s working in the first swell of specialty coffee shops, slogging through uninspiring instant soups, steam burns, and customers who mistakenly thought that ordering hoity toity specialty coffees meant they could make ridiculous demands of the staff. When I landed a full-time, higher paying job in a large, regionally-owned bookstore, I gave notice at the two coffee shops and muffin store in which I spent sixty hours a week making minimum wage and all but ran to hug my new workplace, which held out the promise of twenty less work hours a week and 100,000 books at my disposal.

My official title was Bookseller, and I revelled in my work. I was in charge of several sections of the store and the displays, so, for approximately three years, I felt like I was queen of my small domain. It was the first time in my life that I had felt a sense of both fulfillment and belonging in a workplace.

Of course, I am looking back at that job with a fond nostalgia that conveniently leaves out difficult co-workers, the neck-stabbingly good time that was re-alphabetizing two thousand books in an afternoon, and irrational shoppers screaming about how the line-up at the till had completely ruined their last hope of salvaging some happiness from the Christmas season. Despite the obvious drawbacks of retail sales work, though, I did love it.

And then, I visited an old friend out of town, the Palinode, over my summer holiday, and rather than do the usual rounds of Scrabble over pitchers of beer, we ended up traveling back and forth between each other's cities, falling in love, and wound up married ten months later. This presented us with a decision: which city would we choose to live in? I chose to move to his city and left my beloved Bookseller status behind. I had found the love of my life! My whole world was changing! I was ready to jump in with both feet!

I set about hunting for work immediately, but came up with very little. For some reason, every prospective employer in my new city wanted references from in town, and so, at the age of twenty-eight, I had to start with a clean slate. As a result, I ended up having to work as a telephone sales representative, a transcriber of interviews mostly conducted through a translator with a heavy Czech accent, and a salesperson who hocked cheap watches from a cart in the mall.

I was devastated that my move to a new city resulted in not only the loss of a job I loved but also in the acquisition of a depressing new world of minimum wage sales jobs from such sad places as a dingy cubicle farm with a back alley entrance and a cart with broken locks in a mall hallway. I felt pathetic and unsuccessful. I could sell just about anything to anyone, so it was not that I wasn't good at my jobs, but I had no passion for them. Each passing day at these kinds of jobs whittled away at my self-image until I very nearly lost sight of what it was that had made my work at the bookstore so enjoyable.

I am a lover of words. I could sell a thousand watches and yet never feel the rush that a good turn of phrase could send thrumming through my brain. I knew that I had to get back to words and fast, but I didn't know where to start. With my devastated self-image came the loss of my writing, and other than a few journal entries scrawled in a spiral-bound notebook, I had not written anything of note in three years. I was in a low place.

Enter my discovery of the world of weblogs. When I began writing a weblog in August of 2003 after the Palinode's own website inspired me, my words started to come back to me, and with them, my sense of self-worth also began to return. I left my most recent job as the manager of a small gift shop and started my search for a job I could put my heart into. I tried out another bookstore for almost a year, but it was a negative environment that sucked all the joy out of being around books. I tried another job that, although it was not technically a writing position, required I do a lot of writing for the organization, but after a couple of years, restructuring the same message over and over was losing its lustre. I still needed something more.

Over the last couple of years, I have slowly been pushing myself to find that something more. I have worked on a government writing contract, I've designed websites, I've been pulled on board MamaPop to write about pop culture and entertainment, I've submitted my writing for print publication, been selling my photography on Etsy, and I was selected to be a part of the Community Keynote at the BlogHer '08 conference in San Francisco. I am by no definition an overnight success (I think you need to make enough to eat at least once a day for that), nor am I done traveling my career hunt trajectory, but I am finally on a constructive path to work I can and do love. Being even halfway there feels immeasurably better than never beginning the search at all.

It has been a less than smooth road to this middle ground from the job I once loved. I have felt afraid, excited, frustrated, hopeful, sad, and blessed, but it is worth all of that to seek a career change, whether it is desired or not, that meets your expectations for your best passionate, motivated, and fulfilled self.

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It's Never too Late For a Second Chance. See "NIGHTS IN RODANTHE" on Sept. 26th.