Restaurant reviews in Dallas, TX

Crossroads Diner

2011-01-12T15:22:26Z

Can Crossroads Café Cruise?

By The Law Reviewers / Dec. 2010

Remember us? We’ve been on Hiatus for a couple of months, but he was starting to get annoyed so we got up and left. This month, we go back in time to when things were new and the late winter sun was just starting to warm the valet stand at the Equinox gym. We’re talking, of course, about breakfast. Breakfast is like your mother: you love it, but you never make time for it except once on the weekend.

So, you may recall a D Magazine article a couple of months ago about the best places to eat breakfast in Dallas. Or, maybe you haven’t seen it yet because it’s not 18 months from now when you first pick up a wrinkled copy in your proctologist’s waiting room. You know what? This review has a very high ratio of jokes::actual review, so let’s get down to the tass brax, shall we? The next “best breakfast” article in F-Deluxe City, or D Monthly, or the Pennysaver, or whatever, better dang well have the Crossroads Diner in it, mmkay?

Crossroads Diner (www.Crossroads-Diner.com) is the brand-spanking new, yuppie-tastic diner near the Walnut Hill DART rail stop in Dallas, just down the street from your proctologist’s office at Presbyterian Hospital. It’s a little pricier than your typical American fare/diner food joint, but for good reason: the menu touts the freshness and integrity of the ingredients, and it shows on the plate and in your mouth (please close your mouth). Crossroads Diner also serves non-breakfast food, but for the purposes of this review, we’re focusing on breakfast, cuz that’s when we ate there.

The corned beef hash ($7.75) was unlike anything we’ve ever had before, mainly because it was made with real corned beef. Whodathunkit? The house-made corned beef is smushed around with buttery hash browns and served with two fluffy scrambled eggs. Add some rye toast and you got yourself a fantastic breakfast.

The eggs and homemade, ahem, locally made choziro ($5.75) came with – you guessed it – two more eggs (also scrambled) and some of the spicier, tastier chorizo we’ve ever tried. An extra side of grits ($1.75) was creamy, buttery and nicely seasoned to boot.

Crossroads pushes its sticky buns ($4.25) like they’ve been famous for years, even though the place has only been open for a few weeks. The servers talk them up, the hostess goes on about the frequent buyer’s card for them, and the website has a page devoted just to the buns o’ stick. Worth the hype? The bun we tried was decadently large, smothered in sticky syrup, topped with pecans, and unevenly rolled, belying its house-made heritage. It tasted… like a sticky bun! Hey, we weren’t blown away, but it was still pretty good.

Finally, coffee at Crossroads is great: dark and rich, but also smooth – this is not typical diner coffee. But, is it worth the $2.75 price tag great? Meh – take that third cup to go and mull it over later. Like everything at Crossroads, the pricing is just the other side of being too much.

So, on our so-very-sleepy world-famous five-gavel scale, where one gavel is Breakfast at Tiffany’s (haven’t seen it) and five gavels is the lunch scene in The Breakfast Club, we give Crossroads Diner three-and-a-half gavels, or the breakfast scene in Swingers. “Our baby's all growns up!” More reasonable prices would pump it up to four gavels.

Dive Coastal Cuisine

2010-08-31T06:00:00Z

Dive Coastal Cuisine: Recession Buster, Or Soon-to-be-Bust?

By Sponge-Law Reviewers-Pants

Ahoy there! This month’s port of call, and other nautical allusions, took us to Dive Coastal Cuisine in SniderPlaza, where we witnessed either the end of the Great Recession, the continuation of the Great Denial That There Was Ever A Problem or, as we prefer to call it, Thursday. For many, many years, the space was occupied by a mostly beloved grease spot called Ball’s Hamburgers. But then, wearing grease-smelling fragrances went out of fashion, so the Dallas Sidekicks’ and 1970’s Texas Rangers’ memorabilia was scraped off the wall and the space became a Dunkin’ Donuts. Apparently, University Park does not “run on Dunkin” because 8 minutes later it became Dive Coastal Cuisine, awkwardly sandwiched between the innards of Snider Plaza and a bank.

As it was when Ball’s ruled the block, parking is as stressful as ever in SniderPlaza – we recommend having your driver wait on a nearby street rather than park. With its updated interior, Dive’s look is sleek and not what you’d expect for a place with a nautical theme, what with its chrome and white interior to go along with its chrome and white patrons.

But back to our oblique recession comment above – thanks for your patience! This ain’t no hamburger or donut joint. Though Dive is counter service, it’s not cheap. A lunch of roasted eggplant, red pepper and garlic dip ($4), an ahi tuna wrap ($9) and an iced tea from the “organic iced tea bar” ($3) will set you back almost $18. And what you get for that $18 is a mixed bag.

The selection of dips was by far the highlight of our lunch visit. The eggplant dip was more of a chunky spread, with a more subtle garlic flavor than its title implies. $4 gets you a generous bowl surrounded by rectangles of flat/pita-bread and crackers covered in seeds. “White bean and garbanzo hummus” (How about: Hummus with white beans? Whatev) was atypical but outstanding on a hot summer day – instead of garlic, the dominant flavor second to the beans was lemon, lots of lemon, and it worked. The hummus was also slightly chunky, and between the eggplant spread and the hummus, we could have called it a day.

We also enjoyed the ceviche of the day ($10), which consisted of fresh chunks of grouper doused in lime juice with diced onions, tomatoes and cilantro, a side of crispy plantain chips and their not-so-secret Cholula hot sauce. Then the tuna wrap arrived. The tuna in the tuna wrap was just awful, with too much connective tissue to chew and “seared” to the point that an honest description would be “cooked.” The tuna disappointed big time, especially since the wrap cost $9 – more than two of those delicious dips. Insipid $9 tuna wraps may just solve our overfishing problem, though, by driving demand down!

Hey, speaking of overpriced -- who cares if it’s organic, who cares if it comes in three distinct flavors, who cares if the cups are made of corn magic that decomposes and turns into unicorn tears the instant it’s thrown away - $3 for tea is ridiculous, even in tony SniderPlaza. Chalk that one up to our fault; as the most seasoned restaurant critics this side of Paris (Texas), we should have known better.

A separate take-out dinner was less disappointing. The special turbot baked in a paper bag with vegetables & fennel ($17) just about lived up to its price point by providing two nicely sized filets cooked perfectly flakey and accompanied by crunchy, fresh broccolini, tomatoes and fingerling potatoes. The only slight disappointment was the lack of a discernible fennel taste. The Peruvian Crab and Potato Salad ($7) contained some deliciously moist lump crab cakes, but a whole lot of lettuce overtook the potatoes and other elements in the salad.

So, on our overfished five gavel scale, where five gavels is Dr. Zoidberg from Futurama and one gavel is Jaws 3-D (according to IMDB.com, Dennis Quaid once said, "I was in Jaws what?"), we give Dive Coastal Cuisine two and one-quarter gavels, or the Miami Dolphins’ logo. Seriously – a dolphin wearing a helmet?

The Common Table

2010-07-29T06:00:00Z

Pull Up a Chair to The Common Table

By Michael Anderson and Anthony Lowenberg

Your Gastro-Law Reviewers

We know we’ve had everybody else biting their nails, so we guess it’s time for you to stop chewing. The answer to the question everybody wants to know: In this fall… this is very tough… we’re going to take our talents to PaperCity and join the Parties section!

What? No outrage?!? No burning our reviews in the Dicta? But we bought these ugly shirts to cover up our tats! Anywho, The Common Table is part of the newest trend in Dallas dining, which we heartily endorse in concept, if not price: the gastropub. It may sound like that embarrassing stomach noise you’ve been meaning to see your doctor about, but it actually means a restaurant that combines high quality food with an impressive selection of beer. So, of course, we decided to review it for lunch. Actually, one of us tried to go there for dinner, but the hour-plus wait scared us off – Damn you, Uptown crowds! Go back to Coal Vines! Shoo!! Oh great, their Bimmers crapped on our new shirts as they flew away.

The Common Table’s website sums up the restaurant’s credo as “Friendly people, serving honest food paired with a thoughtful selection of wine & beer in a little house in Uptown Dallas” and you can almost hear the Whataburger Guy’s voice when you read it (Looks like they’ve been jalapenoed!). Reading between the lines, this means the food is going to be a little pricey but you won’t notice because you’re in Uptown where $12 burgers are considered normal.

The Table is located in a quaint little house off Cedar Springs where Lola used to be. Now painted brown, it has an attractive small patio in front that was pretty empty due to the heat. Inside, the décor is basically barroom chic with lots of dark wood and tables spaced fairly close together to fit as many people into the small space as you could reasonably get away with without the fire marshal paying a visit. Service was friendly and pretty unobtrusive.

The food at lunch didn’t disappoint as long as you’re prepared for the Uptown price bump. The fried softshell crab sandwich ($10 sounds about right) was a special of the day that they should serve every day. The crab was surprisingly crunchy with thick tomato slices, lettuce and some tangy remoulade tucked inside a baguette (that also sounds better in the Whataburger Guy’s voice). The accompanying side salad was a cut above the standard with a nice variety of mixed greens and just the right amount of vinaigrette dressing. The side fries we sampled were matchstick thin and tasty but not a huge standout. The “Chef’s Rib Eye Philly” ($13) was very good, with the right amount of provolone and very tender meat. It comes with a side of salty, bold jus, which makes it a (terrible joke alert!) Phrench Dip. It’s a great sandwich, except for the $13 price, which makes it a great sandwich that’s a few dollars overpriced in our opinion. Hey, we know this ain’t Subway, but it’s still just a sandwich with overdone, sliced beef. Excuse us, rib eye.

The Common Table is a nice addition to the Uptown business lunch scene and maybe one night we’ll even get to check out it’s dining scene when Nick & Sam’s Grill has free sliders n’ cosmos night. On our new-Big-Three-nickname five gavel scale, where one gavel is “Miami Thrice” and five gavels is “the Miami Cheats,” we give The Common Table three and a half gavels or “The Three Amigos”, which is catchy and also appropriate since the movie featured three actors who banded together to save a small Mexican town from a corrupt despot, just like LeBron, Wade and Bosh.

La Carreta Argentina

2010-06-29T06:00:00Z

La Carreta Argentina Earns Yellow Card

By Michael Anderson and Anthony Lowenberg,

Los Law Reviewos… GOOOOOAAAAALLLLLL!!!!

After

Argentina

beat

Mexico

in this year's World Cup, the ESPN.com headline proclaimed "Lucky and Good." If La Carreta Argentina, the Argentinean restaurant that recently expanded to swankier digs in north Oak Cliff, wants to make it in this city's fickle dining scene, it's going to need to take a cue from its namesake's soccer team and find a little luck, since it wasn’t very good on our two visits. Or it could hire Maradona as its door host to yell at you as you walk in the door; with his two-tone beard and shiny silver suits, he could also moonlight as the new Crazy Ray (Curse You, Rowdy. Curse you to Green Bay!).

We wanted to like La Carreta, but sadly it represents some of the things we don’t like about Non-Amer-uh-can football like the slow pace and the few dishes that score. To wit, at two recent weekday lunch visits, only a couple of tables were occupied, which should have been more than manageable for the single server working the room. But no, waiting for the check both times was an excruciating exercise in both patience and trying to get her attention. Service was friendly, if not a bit awkward, for reasons we can’t quite explain. Sometimes people are just, well, awkward. At least there are no vuvuzelas at La Carreta. Let’s also take this opportunity to say: 1) instant replay, 2) smaller fields, 3) larger goals, and 4) an Oscars category for World Cup soccer flops.

The restaurant’s new location is a fairly large blue house along Beckley Ave. next to Beckley Brewhouse. It looks like a great location with a large parking lot next door and a wrap-around patio with a deck in front, but it was slow to fill up when we got there for an early lunch. The interior has more muted, warmer colors, large wheels hanging from the ceiling (since Google translator tells us La Carreta means “the cart”), and a kinda-freaky gaucho mannequin looming in the corner. Of course, there were several tv’s tuned to World Cup coverage in Spanish, which involves 250% more jiggly, voluptuous women and bizarre comedic skits involving a donkey than ESPN (not that we’re complaining).

We were thrown off from the start when we asked the waitress about the restaurant’s lunch specials, which are advertised on the website, and were smilingly told that there were no lunch specials. Oh well. One of us ordered a selection of empanadas for $2 each. The flaky half-moon shaped pastries weren’t much more than bite sized, but they were baked so they weren’t greasy. They came with a variety of fillings – the blue cheese and ham was our favorite, but the spicy chicken or spinach with egg, green olive and onion as well as the tomato cheese and basil empanadas were also tasty. Unfortunately, the empanadas proved to be the highlight of our dining experience.

The Sandwich de Entraña ($11) was a huge disappointment. The menu described it as a skirt steak on homemade bread with homemade mayonnaise, and indeed the bread did appear to be fresh and flaky. But flaky is not what you want when you’re dealing with mayonnaise and a skirt steak; the whole thing fell apart on the first bite, and the steak was so tough (even for skirt steak), it had to be cut with a knife and fork. Eventually, the “sandwich” proved to be too much cutting and chewing to bear. A side of pickled eggplant ($3) tasted of vinegar and garlic, with a little eggplant flavor way there in the back, with its little eggplant hand raised in the air all class, desperate for attention. Finally, the Argentinean-style pizza ($12), which the menu bills as “made with heavy dough and homemade sauce, baked in a stone oven through an absolute craft process” was so heavy, cheesy and oily, we had to stop at two slices. The ingredients tasted fresh, but the heavy, heavy pizza was just too much to bear.

Sorry, La Carreta Argentina. Like World Cup Soccer, we tried to like you, but you made it so hard, waiting until stoppage time for the check was the last straw. So, on our Fringe Sports We Pretend To Like But Let’s Face It, It’s All Just Filler Between the NFL Season, March Madness, the MLB Season and the NBA Playoffs Five Gavel Scale – with five gavels being rowing (The most elegant-yet-challenging and ultimate team sport… that Your Law Reviewers used to dominate before our slow descent into Pillsbury Doughboyhood) and one gavel being the Olympic bobsled competition (Quick – name the guys who won USA’s first bobsled gold this past February!) – we give La Carreta Argentina two and a half gavels, or the Iditarod, a sport for dogs and the people who get towed by them.

Rusty Taco

2010-05-27T06:00:00Z

Quite Possibly, the Most Interesting Taco Stand Within Spitting Distance of the Parkit Market

Stay Law Reviewersie, My Friends!

From the co-founder of Uncle Julio’s comes Rusty Taco, a squeaky clean, SMU-area – hey, wait! Where are you going? Come back! You didn’t even skip down to the end to see how many gavels it got! What turned you off more, the idea of another Uncle Julio’s or your fear of Urbandictionary.com’s definition of “Rusty Taco?” We hear ya – we had the same thoughts, too.

But you know what? It has a place in our little Audi-fied world. Think of Rusty Taco as your taco answer to the burrito question: Where else but Chipotle can I look cool, eat well, and pay a premium price for something I could probably get cheaper and quicker down on Colorado Boulevard?

The former gas station has that industrial chic look that Chipotle has mastered so well and the similar open kitchen to-boot. But instead of burritos, it specializes in gorditas – kidding! Just seeing if you were paying attention. The taco-based menu includes nine varieties of non-breakfast tacos and four varieties of breakfast tacos, all for the moderately low but still suspiciously even price of $2.00 each. Rusty Taco, or Rus, as Clark Griswold would say, also serves $5.00 margaritas and beer in the $2.50-$3.50 range. “Don’t tell your mom about the beer, Rus.” Add in $1.00 chips and salsa and $3.00 queso and guacamole and you’ve got a complete menu.

Just like at Uncle Julio’s, Rusty Taco makes a big deal out of the fact that their tortillas are homemade, but close your eyes and you probably won’t notice the difference (you also won’t be able to drive home without opening them again). They also play up the fact that the tacos are handmade, but, personally, we’d be more impressed if they were created by an army of cyborgs bent on human domination since that would probably give Rusty Taco more leverage with the TABC.

A mid-morning run for breakfast tacos on one Saturday morning showed how popular ol’ Rus’ tacos are becoming, as we were greeted with a line out the door and into the parking lot. The line to order at the counter moved achingly slow at first but eventually sped up when a second cashier was added. The open kitchen was extremely busy with taco chefs, Rusty himself and who we believe was Mrs. Rusty all moving quickly around each other in a deft display of makethetacosasfastasyoucanholycrapthere’salineoutthedoorandwe’reoutofchips!

At long last we had breakfast tacos – sweet, sweet breakfast tacos – to go with the decent bottomless cups of coffee. We sampled the potato, egg and cheese; choizo, egg and cheese; and jalapeño sausage, egg and cheese tacos. All were adequate and satisfied our craving, but to be frank – good guy, that Frank – they weren’t wait-in-a-long-line-into-the-parking-lot-while-desperate-for-coffee good. The ingredients all were fresh, and for $2.00 the tacos were adequately sized. Our major complaint was that the jalapeño sausage was of the prepackaged supermarket variety and had no spicy kick.

At lunchtime, we ran into the same long line and weren’t able to stick around and enjoy the newly-refurbished-Texaco atmosphere. We were able to try the picadillo and the fish tacos. The picadillo taco was filled with ground beef and potatoes, but it didn’t quite have the seasoning kick that we like. The fish taco had a nice balance of grilled fish, cilantro, cabbage and crema. On this trip, we also tried the chips and salsa. We got plenty of the right kind of restaurant-greasy chips with zesty-but-not-overly-spicy salsa. Not a bad deal for a buck.

So, on our Clark W. Griswold National Lampoon’s Vacation five-gavel-scale, where five gavels is Clark’s heart-to-heart with Roy Walley (“Roy, could you imagine if you had driven all the way to Florida and it was closed?”) and one gavel is Hamburger Helper with “real tomato ketchup,” we give Rusty Taco two-and-three-quarters gavels, or a real gun, “a Magnum P.I.”

ConFusion

2010-04-25T19:44:18Z

ConFusion Lives Up to its Name

By Michony Andenberg,

Your ConFused Law Reviewers

March Madness – when spring is finally in the air and people get ridiculously excited about a team they knew nothing about a week ago who promptly loses and ruins their tournament bracket. This is inevitably followed by April Apathy – when you realize that summer heat is just around the corner and “One Shining Moment” is more fun than the 20 hours of college hoops you just watched. And that pretty much sums up our feelings about ConFusion, the new Asian fusion place near the Bishop Arts District in Oak Cliff.

We were excited because ConFusion has a couple of things going for it, namely the best name for an Asian fusion restaurant in the history of ever and a spot in a funky, hip area of town that north-of-downtown people like us call “funky, hip” because we’d never go there if we didn’t have a restaurant or bar to use as an excuse. Unfortunately, we can’t give ConFusion anything more than a big “meh.” Blame it on April Apathy and the “meh” generation. Just don’t blame us, we’re innocent of all charges (until a final, nonappealable determination of guilt is entered by the highest court of competent jurisdiction). Seriously though, we wanted to like ConFusion, and we gave it a couple of tries and enjoyed its earnest and friendly service, but the food is just too okay-but-pricey to give it more than a lukewarm review and some suggestions for how to fix things up.

Brought to you by the good folks behind Taqueria Tepatitlan (also a great name) in Oak Cliff, ConFusion has a tiny parking lot that quickly fills up. The exterior of the building is all about what brown can do for you and we think the interior has gone a little too far over to the dark side, if you know what we mean (we mean it’s a little too dark inside). The small outdoor patio has a nice zen fountain thing going on. The service was very friendly and prompt, with the only complaint being that no one knew how to make an Arnold Palmer (take one Mr. Palmer and one Mrs. Palmer, add a weekend getaway to Napa, and … THANK YOU! We’ll be here all week!). Finally, the half-tea-half-lemonade appeared, with a nice seltzery twist and we were on our way down the culinary rabbit trail.

ConFusion’s menu lives up to its fusion credentials by offering a variety of dishes from all over Asia – many are conveniently labeled “Cambodian,” “Laotian” or “Thai” in case you aren’t sure. As with the restaurant’s name, some of the menu items have clever titles like Kiss Me Ginger, but for some reason it’s the dishes like Banana balls and Gang Dang that make us giggle. We’d say we’re immature but you already knew that; hey, anyone want to know how to make an Arnold Palmer? Anyhoo, ConFusion’s problem is that the pricing structure is out of whack. Red flag no. 1: no lunch specials (officially, at least). And most of the menu items tend to be more expensive than at comparable Asian restaurants around town. It appears the owners are aware that most other Asian places offer lunch specials with a soup/salad/spring roll option, though, because we were mysteriously given small bowls of soup and mini spring rolls on our second visit (the spring rolls had a tasty curry zing but the soup was pretty bland).

So, how did the rest of the food taste? Starting with the starters, the Cambodian Corn Cakes ($7.50) apparently also contained both crab and shrimp, but we couldn’t really taste either and, while the crust of the cakes was nicely crunchy, the interior was a little on the mushy side. The Laotian Crab Cakes ($7.50) came in fun kid shapes like stars and hearts, which immediately made us wonder if they were purchased at a nearby Whole Foods (and would our kids eat them or just throw them at the dog like everything else). The crab tasted fine but a little pre-fabricated. The Summer Rolls ($7.50) were basically your standard Asian steamed rice paper rolls, but the half slice of shrimp to a roll seemed skimpy for the price. As for entrees, on one visit we tried the Texas and Tan An ($11.95), which is a Texas pecan crusted Vietnamese white fish fillet. Although the sauce could have used more kick, the crust had a delicious crunch and the fish was moist and tasty. On another visit we tried the green curry with calamari ($8.25 + $3 for the calamari). We ordered it spicy and it had a nice creamy, sweet taste but not so much with the spicy part. Pad key mow (ConFusion’s spelling) with tofu ($8.25), or flat rice noodles, with garlic, chilies, tomato, bell pepper and basil, tasted of salt and tamarind (?) and not much else, which was a huge disappointment for a dish that should be slightly spicy with earthy notes from the vegetables.

For dessert, the ConFusion white cake with milk ($6.50) was really expensive for what tasted like a standard tres leches cake that we suspect was brought in from the nearest Mexican dessert commissary. The Great Wall of China Chocolate Cake ($6.50) was also really pricey and they missed an easy clever dessert name – Great Wall of Chocolate Cake! – but at least it was thick and chocolatey so it didn’t feel like as much of a rip-off.

Ultimately, ConFusion lives up to its name by providing an okay but frustrating dining experience that’s just too pricey for what you get. If they’d lower their price points a smidge, add an official lunch specials menu and focus on doing fewer dishes really well then we think they’ll be just fine. On our over the top college basketball announcer five-gavel scale, where five gavels is Gus Johnson going crazy over a first round buzzer beater and one gavel is Dickie V going all Diaper Dandy over his beloved Dukies, we give ConFusion two and a half gavels or Billy Packer coming back from the grave to grump through another blowout finals game (What’s that? He’s still alive? Oopsies!).

Dr. Bell's BBQ

2010-02-17T15:28:11Z

“Dr.” Andrew Bell, PhD, BBQ, NoMSG

By The Law Reviewers, M.D., Anthony LowenMcDreamy and Michael AnderMcSteamy

Downtown is filling up with some mighty fine and swank restaurants, whose “chef driven” menus (we have no idea what that means either), truffle oils, and valet parkers await your fickle taste buds. That’s because said fickle buds will be at Dr. Bell’s BBQ getting their ‘Q on, at least twice a week. See, we had another restaurant all ready to go for this month’s review, but then Dr. Bell’s came along and Pretty Woman-ed us with its Lamborghini brisket, smoked turkey polo match, and a future guest spot on Friends. We’ve heard it all before, Dallas is not a barbeque town, there’s too many corporate chains, you’re within 100 feet of me and violating the restraining order, yadda yadda yadda. But Dr. Bell’s is the real deal, and we hope the chefs driving Smoke a couple of miles away take notice, for their own sake. You heard it here first: Dr. Bell’s will be around in a year, and Smoke will be but an odor in your clothes that you can’t get out (Curse that $4 pickle plate – curse it all to Houston!).

Occupying a small storefront on Main Street (tucked in right between the Which Wich and City Tavern), Dr. Bell’s BBQ has been retrofitted nicely from the Zorba-style Greek restaurant that used to be there. Corrugated tin walls, metal tables and plastic chairs make up the ambience, which makes for a literally cold setting in these winter months. There is also no soda fountain. That about does it for the negatives.

Orders are taken at a counter as you slide your tray to the right towards the cashier. On busy days, of which there are thankfully more and more of these days since it opened last fall, "Dr." Bell himself may even take your order and guide you through the many choices.

The brisket and smoked turkey reign supreme, but Dr. Bell’s also offers an assortment of pulled pork, hot links, turkey breast, beef ribs, pork ribs, and chicken. Variety also takes the form of the different ways the meats are served, from the traditional half- or full-pound plates with one or two sides, to sliders, tacos, and salads. Sandwiches cost from $4.49 to $6.89 depending on how many sides you want and plates run from $7.89 to $11.49.

Back to the brisket and turkey. The brisket has everything you would want in the traditional Texas-style smoked version, including a nice blackened crust and just enough fat. The sauce bottles on the tables are almost forgettable because you don’t really need sauce at Dr. Bell’s (not that the sauce was bad, though – it was fine). The coupe de ville of brisket at Dr. Bell’s, however, is the spicy brisket chili ($5.79). If there was a United Nations of Food, we would make an unnoticed, unheeded decree that all chili should be made from tender chunks of brisket, simmered in some kind of thick, spicy broth, and topped with cheese and onions. Holy moley is Dr. Bell’s chili good, especially on a cold, windy day. Chili with ground mystery meat will never be the same to you again after you’ve had this brisket chili. We were also impressed by the pulled pork, which had a tangy, spicy seasoning that we dug.

As for the turkey, it was juicy and actually tasted of smoke through and through. We’ve never had turkey like it at any other place in town, even overpriced places next door to the Belmont who advertise smoke in their name (hint: we’re talking about Smoke). On a multiple-visit week to Dr. Bell’s, the smoked turkey over a salad is a nice way to diet things up.

And don't forget to save some room for dessert – the sweet potato pie ($3.39), served piping hot, was deliciously sweet and almost unbearably rich tasting. In the immortal words of Alabama (the band, not the state), it was "shut my mouth" good.

So! On our county-wide famous five gavel scale of famous fictional doctors, where one gavel is Motley Crews’ Dr. Feelgood and five gavels is Dr. Nick Riviera, he of Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, we give Dr. Bell’s BBQ four-and-a-half gavels, or Dr. Hannibal Lecter slurp-slurp-slurp-ing some brisket chili with a nice Chi-anti.

Oh, and that other restaurant? It’s Mario Sabino's, in the space formerly known as Casa Blanca. Mario Sabino does a reasonable facsimile of the cuisine down the street at Gloria’s, right down to the Salvadorian sampler plate and complimentary black bean dip, but is more restrained in atmosphere. So go to Gloria’s if you want faster service and a more boisterous crowd (Note: we're talking about the Lemmon Avenue Gloria’s, not the one on Greenville Avenue, which might as well have some Greek letters over the front door); check out Mario Sabino's if you want a more relaxed place to talk and take your time. Nice place, but it ain’t no Dr. Bell’s! Three gavels.

Maple and Motor

2010-01-09T17:59:10Z

Maple and Motor Doesn’t Need a Catchy Headline

It’s That Good, Says the By-Line

By The House-Ground Law Reviewers

There have been two recent developments in the sometimes wonderful and always artereosclerotical (note: made up word) world of hamburgers. The first was a not-so-Earth-shattering-but-still-kinda-frightening article in the Sunday New York Times several months ago about the dangers of some types of ground beef. This disturbing and revealing article got us to put down our ground beef hamburgers for a couple of days and subsist solely on lamb kebabs and turkey burgers (which taste great for breakfast, btw), just to be safe. Less noticeably, your Law Reviewers have been on a mission for the past five months to rate the best burgers in the area, and invited some of our hard-core followers (the ones who go through our garbage and have Law Reviewer tattoos) to join us. We call it Burger Court, and you can read all the rules, rankings and summary judgments here. Unless you enjoy a thorough grilling on cross-examination, you do not want to be held in contempt of Burger Court! Burger Court would be a total success, except for the fact that our two choices rank near the bottom of our burger rankings so far. We blame the NYT article.

We’re not total failures when it comes to judging burgers, however: We hereby declare the latest contender for best burger in Big D to be the burger at Maple and Motor. Large, but not too much so, hand-formed and grilled to greasy medium well (medium rare, if you ask nicely), M&M’s standard burger ($4.50) comes with lettuce, tomato, a red onion slice, mustard and pickle relish. M&M grills both sides of the buns too, which, while being tasty, adds controversy to this almost-perfect burger because the outside of the bun is a bit greasy, thus defeating part of the purpose of a fluffy bun. Optional add-ons include American or cheddar cheeses, grilled fresh jalapeños (as opposed to pickled ones) and a fried egg. The jalapeños are the key to this burger. The freshly grilled slices don’t overpower the beef, but add a spicy layer to the sweet pickle relish and cool tomato. This, ladies and germs, is a Burger worthy of being referenced with a capital ‘B’ (that means it's important!).

Maple and Motor keeps the rest of the menu simple, so as to focus on the burgers: tots, fries and beer battered onion rings, all $1.75 each, are crispy and fresh and just a little seasoning short of great. The menu also offers other meal items in the $4-6 range: a grilled chicken sandwich, a Texas toast grilled cheese, a fried boloney sandwich and something called the flat-top brisket sandwich, which is "not your Daddy's brisket sandwich" – how did they know?!? We tried the fried baloney sandwich served Cincinatti-style, which means with lots o' mayo, lettuce and tomato. That sandwich is for Yankee mayo lovers and Stephen Colbert only; next time we'll stick with the cowboy-style version of the sandwich covered in chili, cheese and onions like any other true Texan dish. But don’t ever forget that you’re here for the burgers; we suppose the other menu items are for those customers who are patronizing M&M for the fourth time in a week because they are bringing in everyone they know, and want something different.

Despite the simple menu, simple décor, and small building (there are about 20 table crammed into about 700 square feet), the interior exudes an invitingly dive chic atmosphere. Hey, any place with a picture of Billy Dee Williams selling Colt 45 on its drink cooler is okay by us. Located in a former taqueria on Maple, near Wycliff (almost across the street from Elliot’s hardware store), Maple and Motor is proximately located in good company – Avila’s, Herrera’s, Sal’s and Oishii are chip shots away. But this isn’t your padre’s stretch of Maple. At one recent Thursday lunch, the potholed parking lot was crammed with the Acuras and BMW’s of downtown yore, with a couple of Bentley’s thrown in to class the joint up.

The Law Reviewer mobile isn’t as fancy (think the Oscar Meyer Wiener mobile crossed with the Batmobile crossed with Herman Munster’s car crossed with the Millenium Falcon) but we chugged away satisfied and raring to come back soon. Sorry, arteries. So on our famous end of the decade useless news event five gavel scale, with one gavel being the Y2K debacle that wasn’t, and five gavels being TIGER WOODS TIGER WOODS TIGER WOODS, we give Maple and Motor four gavels, or bald Britney brandishing an umbrella.

2009 Golden Gavel Awards

2009-11-25T20:22:09Z

The 2009 Golden Gavel Awards

By Michael Anderson and Anthony Lowenberg

Your Undiscovered Law Reviewers (Hey, we’ve been here all along!)

The future is the undiscovered country. At least, that's what Star Trek VI told us, and Star Trek movies never lie! Never mind what Hamlet had to say about it, he never had to escape from a Klingon ice planet prison by sleeping with a shape-changing alien who looked like David Bowie's wife half the time and a blue skinned iguana-man the other half, now, did he? Anyhoo, now that our obligatory random intro is out of the way, let's get to this year's Golden Gavel Awards V: The Undiscovered Country. No, this year's theme is not which places around town serve the best Romulan ale and tribble pie (that's next year's theme). Instead, we’re giving awards this year to the undiscovered/underrated food and food-serving establishments that fly under the radar in our fair city. You won’t see these dishes or places listed on the annual ‘Best of’ listings in other “publications” around “town” cuz they ain’t the sexy, popular picks, but they’re all good eatin’. And the Undiscovered Gavelies go to…

Best Unknown Lunch Ambiance: Atrium Café at the DMA. This catered café at the back of the DMA tends to go overlooked by anyone who isn’t showing around out-of-towners or strolling through the latest special exhibit, but on a clear, sunny day, it’s a relaxing respite from the downtown weekday grind and has decent and interesting food that changes to match the exhibits.

Best Tucked-Away Tex Mex: La Victoria. Why wait in line at Mia’s or Mi Cocina when you can get burritos as big as yo face and piping hot gorditas all made with fresh, tasty ingredients right here in this little old drive-in place off Ross Avenue on Haskell just east of downtown. It’s cheap too, little-old-drive-in cheap.

Best Afghan Adventure: Afghan Grill. We may not be the first people to talk up this tasty little Afghan establishment off Preston Road in Far North Dallas, but, until there are more Afghan Grills than Woodfire Grills in the Metroplex, it’s fair to say it hasn’t been discovered yet.

Best Old Standby: S&D Oyster Co. Some day this place may be gone and you will have to get your fried shrimp at Long John Silver’s. Think about it.

Best Sandwich Steals: Banh mi at La Me. If you don’t know what a banh mi is, you don’t know what you’re missing. They’re Vietnamese baguette sandwiches, and La Me has the best ones we’ve tried in town. Each baguette is crammed with yummy fillings like grilled pork, paté and veggies and they generally don't cost more than $3-4 a pop. Honorable Mention: Antoine’s. The definition of a Mom n’ Pop sandwich shop, the sandwiches are simple, fresh, dirt cheap and better with the owner’s homemade chow chow (relish).

Best Downtown Deli Dessert: Chocolate Chip Cookies at Powerhouse Deli. This healthy deli in the Downtown “T. Boone Pickens” YMCA will occasionally bake up a batch of chocolate chip cookies. When they do, knock over your own grandmother to get some (Just don’t expect a check in the next birthday card)!

Best Below-the-Radar Burger: Grass-fed Beef Burger at Kozy Kitchen. No bun, just some blue cheese or feta sprinkled on top and sautéed vegetables on the side… and it’s the best burger we’ve had in Dallas (one of us, at least). Hmmm, must be something in the grass. Honorable Mention: Salad Burger at Goff’s. Sloppy, messy and bad for you. You know, like a proper salad.

Best Deceptively Tasty Dish: Burger Dog at Wild About Harry's. A hot-dog-shaped burger patty is not the most appetizing-looking food item and dressing it up with shredded cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles and mustard in a hot dog may sound weird, but darned if it ain’t de-burger-dog-licious!

Best Ethnic Comfort Food: Beef Panang at Royal Thai. Allright, this is probably one of the more well known dishes at one of the more popular Thai places in town, but, when most people think comfort food, they think mac n’ cheese or chicken soup – something gooey or hearty that Mom used to make. Well, next time you’re looking for that gooey, hearty comfort food fix, give the panang a try and we promise you won’t be disappointed.

Best Chain Cobbler: Peach Cobbler at Dickey’s. Somehow, the cobbler helps you forget that 20 minutes ago you were all, “Dang, I could use some totally awesome bbq,” that 15 minutes ago, you ordered more than you could consume, and that five minutes ago, you sat back in your seat, stuffed, and were all, “Dang, I could use some totally awesome bbq.” And Don’t Forget About: Dickey’s Soft Serve Ice Cream – cuz it’s tasty and free!

Best Tuesday Night Take Out Pizza: Green Onion Pizza at Campisi’s. Green onions? On my pizza? It’s more likely than you think!

Best Appetizer That Eats Like a Meal: Boudin Balls at Alligator Café. Chock full of boudin sausage, an order of six of these hush puppy-like contraptions with a side of remoulade sauce doesn't leave much room for the rest of Alligator Café's tasty Cajun cooking, but you'll find the space somehow.

Best Mini-Meat on a Stick: Yakitori at Teppo Yakitori & Sushi Bar. These Japanese mini-skewers range from standard white-meat chicken chunks and chicken meatballs to more exotic miso beef tongue, chicken hearts and gizzards. Just add Japanese red pepper and yellow mustard and you've got yourselves an ulcer-prone vegan's worst nightmare. Why there are Mongolian grills on every corner but not more of these places around town is a mystery to us (but maybe not to ulcer-prone vegans).

Best Overpriced Side Dish That's Somehow Worth the Money: French Fries at Smoke. Another “professional” reviewer recently gave Smoke a great review. The truth is probably somewhere in between, albeit exactly like our version. Honorable Mention: “Trio of Fries” at Tillman’s Roadhouse. No fries should cost this much ($9) but we’ll be danged, the gimicky-sounding “Purple Peruvian Fries” were fantastic. And purple. Horseradish pickle mayo should be everywhere, too. Everywhere.

So, that about wraps up another year of living and eatin’ here in Big D. As always, if you have a food problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them… maybe you can hire The LR-Team. Dum-da-dum-da! Dum-dum… Wait, what comes next?

Taj Mahal (downtown)

2009-11-02T03:38:55Z

Taj Mahal II: Electric Vindaloo

By: The Law Reviewers

Thanks to globalization, there is finally Indian food in the Central Business District (or the CentBizDiz to those of us who just made that up), let’s hear it! Nope, we’re not talking about Stephan Pyles’ latest foray into East Asian/Middle Eastern/WhateverSideoftheBedheWokeupon fusion, but the cleverly-named Taj Mahal, which is the bold newcomer to the West End/El Centro/Creepy Empty Parking Garage cheap lunch scene on the west side of downtown (711 Elm St., (214) 741-4225, sorry, no web site, we looked). This is not to be confused with the beloved and longtime Taj Mahal restaurant located at Central Expressway and Meadow Lane, or with the other 5,421 Taj Mahal restaurants located in every country but India.

This new Taj Mahal looks a lot like the former Bar & Grill it replaced (it even still says "Bar & Grill" in the window) with some inexpensive tables and chairs spread throughout a pretty bare open dining space. A tandoori oven in the kitchen is about the only Indian touch in the place other than the food. The big non-Indian atmospheric highlight was a flat screen tv featuring re-runs of the Jimmy Caan soap Las Vegas with special guest star Jean Claude Van Damme (he was available). The first two weeks of Taj Mahal’s existence featured a $5.99 lunch buffet with awkward drink service. Unfortunately, or fortunately if you are a wealthy germaphobe, the lunch buffet was just an introductory deal. Henceforth, Taj Mahal is order-from-the-menu only, but with the same awkward service, and, while the quality was better when we ordered off the menu, we preferred the problems of the buffet to a $16 okay Indian lunch.

When we sampled the buffet on our first visit, the chaana masala was tied for the largest disappointment. Chaana masala, or chickpeas in spicy sauce (that’s Easttexasspeak), is a simple and ubiquitous dish in Indian cuisine. Think charro beans or bbq beans. But the chickpeas here were raw and it was painfully obvious that the sauce was added to the garbanzos at the last minute -- inexcusable for an Indian restaurant, even in its first week. The other ubiquitous Indian dish, chicken tikka masala, consisted of burned chicken and a bland tomato cream sauce. If the chaana and chicken tikka masala isn’t good, that’s not a good sign. At least the chicken was of decent quality; too often we’ve seen the lesser chicken parts hidden in tikka masala sauce. Strangely enough – or perhaps smartly enough – these two items do not appear on the menu (the chicken tikka masala may be labeled as chicken curry on the menu ($10.99), but we were not about to spend eleven bucks to find out). The buffet saved itself with fluffy basmati rice, acceptable tandoori chicken pieces, an interesting beef masala (holy cow? apparently not), and standard-issue dal (lentil soup).

On our return visit, the buffet and its six dollar bargain was gone. The menu is priced the same for lunch and dinner, and was on the pricey side for the d?cor/location/quality. But, the quality was better a la carte, and Taj Mahal finally passed muster for one of the three items needed for a successful Indian restaurant in the western hemisphere other than chaana and chicken tikka masala: samosas ($2.99, two per order). Piping hot and properly crispy on the outside, the potato and pea pastries were a little on the too-spicy side but otherwise on the mark. Standard-issue mint chutney was strangely paired with ramekins of ketchup and Pace picante sauce (This stuff’s made in New Delhi!? Get a rope!!), so our awkwardly quiet team of servers quickly replaced one of the ketchups with the standard tamarind chutney.

Aloo gobi ($8.99), another standard vegetable dish consisting of potatoes, cauliflower and onions was the best dish we tried on both visits. The potatoes and cauliflower were appropriately spiced and the bowl was scaldingly hot, as if a fresh batch was whipped up just for us. On the server’s recommendation, we tried the goat curry ($12.99). The chunks of goat meat and bone in the onion “gravy” were a little intimidating, but the meat was tender and the gravy was sweat-inducingly spicy. We also ordered one “simple” naan ($1.59), or flatbread cooked in the tandoor oven, which had a nice crispy crust and a fluffy inside, although we could have done without the clarified butter smeared on top.

All in all, Taj Mahal is a welcome addition to the downtown dining scene, but we fear for its future, as the price-for-the-quality leaves much to be desired. Perhaps some lunch specials would help. Some name confusion may help, too.

On our famous Bollywood five-gavel scale, where five gavels is the rain dance scene between Kajol and Shah Rukh Khan in “Kuch Kuch Hota Hai,” and one gavel is the totally unnecessary scene in “Magadheera” with Bramhanandam and Hema that did nothing to further the plotless plot, we give the downtown Taj Mahal two gavels, or the proposal dance scene in "Fast Forward" where Akshay Kapoor’s character proposes to Bhavna Pani’s character.