Relaxation, Rest and Renewal

Down to the Essentials: A Personal Note

2011-08-16T11:53:00.000-06:00

It’s been a long time since my last blog entry. In the meantime, we moved onto the property, have been working seven days a week, and finally were able to move into our house a few weeks ago.

We were living in our RV for many years. Now I tremendously enjoy the space in the house. With more external space comes a sense of greater internal space. Moreover, there is less clutter around me, actually no clutter at all, but clarity.

I have realized that I have spread myself too thin, have done too much and too forcefully.

While multitasking has become a virtue, I want to learn to be present with one single task alone. While goal setting has been en vogue for many years, I want to let go of all projections into the future.

I always have had a deep longing for a simple and authentic life. Now it’s the time to listen to that desire and to make space for its manifestation.

I am letting go of everything that is not essential to my life.
This Blog, for example, is not essential.
I may come back to it later; I may not.

Although at times I enjoyed writing for it, it mainly has been a chore, self-imposed out of the belief that I needed one because “everybody” else has one.
I stop doing things that I have been doing because of my own or other people’s expectations.

What are the non-essentials in your life?
How can you let go of them?
How does it feel to make space for yourself – and for nothing else?

Thanks for stopping by!

Remodeling a Home!

2010-10-06T13:00:00.005-06:00

I do not know of any project that takes more patience, flexibility and ultimately – humor than remodeling an old house!

It’s been a while since my last Blog entry. My husband and I were busy finding a new home. First, we made a serious effort to leave the desert of southern NM and to settle in cool Oregon. For various reasons, however, we had to change our plans. Instead of moving to another state, we bought an old farmhouse here in Deming, NM.
It is - how real estate agents like to put it – a “project home.” Actually, it is a huge project!

The brick walls and the roof are in great shape. It also came with a nice kitchen with wooden cabinets. The tiled floors are okay, too. But other than that, almost everything else has to be replaced: The waterlines, the sewer lines, the insulation, the interior walls, every window, every exterior and interior door, the wooden floors, the bathroom, etc.

My husband with his extensive background as a contractor rolls up his sleeves and gets to work. He has a clear idea about each step, each task, the tools needed, and, moreover, the time it will take.

I, on the other side, have never put my time into a project like this. Despite best intentions to stay calm, impatience and the desire to get things done ASAP easily surface.

The other day, I was sanding the old claw foot bathtub to remove the paint. I did not want to use the highly toxic paint stripper and thought I’d be okay with the slow process of sanding. I made an interesting discovery: The less patient I was, the less paint the sander seemed to be able to remove! But when I let go of any expectation and settled into the gliding motion of the vibrating tool in my hand, I could see the tiny specks of old paint disappearing.

Similarly, I needed to remove old fencing material with which the previous owners had set apart a kind of “garden.” I had planned to be finished within half a day. Instead, it took two days. First I got mad with the relentless sun that made working outside (even at the end of September) almost impossible. Then I surrendered and began to enjoy the tug-of-war between me and the fiercely anchored wire fence. It felt good to use muscles of which I did not even know that they existed!

There are so many opportunities to let go - of a schedule, of an idea, of a plan.
Meanwhile it is fun to change plans on an almost daily basis.

Well, tomorrow I want to get back to my sander. But maybe I need to help my husband “fishing” the new waterline under the house, or cutting the last piece of plywood for the bathroom floor.
Who knows?

Remodeling a house also provides many opportunities to develop new skills.
Next weekend, I would like to fill the post holes for the fence with cement. I have never mixed cement and worked with it. I am curious and looking forward to a new experience. And I am planning on staying calm in case I should not be able to get all the holes filled on one day.

But who knows?
Maybe I get impatient again.

It's a roller coaster ride. It's a reflection of life.

Meditate on the First Flowers!

2010-04-11T18:39:00.003-06:00

Here in the desert of southern New Mexico, the arrival of the first flowers in spring is a very special moment.

The little yellow flowers, here called "Poppies," are one of very few species who can make this barren and dry land their home - at least for a few precious weeks.

Initially, it's just one yellow spot. The little flower opens to the sun and at sunset, it closes for the night.

A few days later, it is joined by other poppies, and together they form a small patch. Soon, the desert floor is dotted with several yellow-orange patches.

It fills my heart with sheer delight to just glance at them on my way from the driveway to the house.

I have not planted them.
I have not watered them.
I have not prepared the soil in any way.

Yet, here they are:
Messengers from a wonderful and eternal rhythm.
And I am invited to participate with a joyful and humble heart.

What are the first flowers in your area?
What do they tell you?

Here is an insightful quote from Brother David Steindl-Rast:

A single crocus blossom ought to be enough
to convince our heart
that springtime,
no matter how predictable,
is somehow
a gift, gratuitous, gratis, a grace.

Brother David Steindl-Rast has a wonderful website that you find at: http://www.gratefulness.org/index.htm

Play!

2010-01-22T10:30:00.003-07:00

Feeling stressed out can be the result of several scenarios:

1. You have more to do than you can handle.

2. Your energy level is so low that even normal tasks seem overwhelming.

3. Your whole day and the entire week consist of work. Even an outing with friends has become an item on your to-do list.

These scenarios are, of course, interconnected. Having too much on the plate and making no time for leisure often result in a drop in energy. A low energy level often results in working harder and enjoying life less.

My former friend Barbara, for example, was a full-time nurse at a large hospital for paraplegics in Hamburg, Germany. She also attended courses at the university. On rare occasions, we met for walks over the mudflats at ebb. Back on shore, she usually exclaimed, “Now I can place a checkmark behind it!” - The walks with me, the visits of the movie theaters, the hours at the cafés had mutated into chores!
What I remember mostly about her is her constant sense of utterly being stressed and her propensity to developing skin diseases.

We need to make time for mere play and fun. Not once in a while, but regularly. We need play time not only at the age of four, but also at the age of 40 and 80!

I remember my training in psychooncology with Dr. Carl Simonton. He taught us that helping a cancer patient to set up a plan for getting well needs to include time for play and fun.

I am not talking about getting an ATV or a sailboat and, by no means, I am thinking of TV.

My father was an artist who could barely provide for his family. We did not have a TV set or any other fancy gadget. My fondest memories are those of our Saturday evenings when we gathered around the kitchen table to play Chinese checker or other board games until deep into the night. There was hardly another time when I felt so light-hearted and carefree.

Unfortunately, nowadays the TV dominates the evenings, deadens family communication, and replaces story telling and play.

Do yourself a favor and get those games out of the closet! Bring your family together or have friends coming over and - play again!

When choosing a game, there are several features to consider:

Some games make you more interact with each other than others! If – and when – you get your figures home with Chinese checker, for example, depends highly on the other players’ moves. With Yahtzee on the other hand, you basically play for yourself, rolling the dice in hopes to reach a higher score than the rest at the table.

Some games can be played only with two people; others are more fun for a larger group. If, for example, it’s just you and your spouse, you may get bored with a game like Uno that is designed for more players. Monopoly, too, is more fun when played in a larger group.

Strategic games like chess or Pentago require thinking and concentration; with others, only luck determines the winner. Losing a strategic game may strike your ego to a higher degree than losing in Chinese checker!

Games are not only fun but they also can teach us some things about life:

Everybody wins sometimes and loses sometimes.
The outcome of our actions depends highly on other peoples’ actions.
We all are interconnected.
Laughing at our need to control and kissing it good bye is a great way to de-stress life.

Remember: We do not live to work, but we work to live!

Bread on Hooks

2009-12-19T10:17:00.003-07:00

Each year, my German friend sends me a delightful advent calendar with thoughtful stories, beautiful poems, and other meaningful texts.

For December 8, I find the following contributed by Iris Macke:

In an inconspicuous little bakery on a busy street in Hamburg, Germany, men in their 50s clench their fingers around a cup of coffees for warmth. It is not the promising kind of customers who would bring in the money. Nevertheless, they are welcome. Coffee, cake and bread hang on the hooks for them.

"Bread on Hooks" is the name of the program that makes this bakery so remarkable. Whenever a customer has some spare change, he or she pays for an additional cup of coffee, piece of cake or a loaf of bread to what he or she actually purchases. The baker then hangs a voucher on one of the hooks above the counter. A customer with little or no money can take a voucher from the hook and receives a hot beverage or bread at no charge.

This tradition originated in Naples, Italy. Here, it is custom that people drink a donated espresso in the coffee shops. In Hamburg, however, this custom seems to take time for taking roots. Although many vouchers hang from the hooks, the customers are hesitant to use them. Especially older people are shy to take a bread from the hook. Their poverty is embarrassing to them, says the baker.

However, many leave the little shop with a smile. Some like to give. To donate a cup of coffee does not hurt the wallet. And the recipients smile, too. Because somebody cares.

May we all find ways - subtle and not so subtle - to give and receive!

Here is a Christmas song I really like:

Read A Children's Book!

2009-11-22T09:18:00.006-07:00

When was the last time that you sat down and read a children’s book?

It was probably when your children were toddlers and you wanted to open up to them the world of books. Or when your grandchild came over and handed you her favorite book with expectant eyes.

In either case, you read the book for the education and enjoyment of the youngster, not for your own pleasure.

Have you ever thought of getting a children’s book just for yourself?

Don’t dismiss this as a silly idea.

Didn’t Jesus say, “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3)?

The fairy tale from Hans Christian Andersen The Emperor’s New Clothes comes to mind. Here a vain emperor falls victim to two swindlers who make him believe that they are weavers capable of making the finest garments that only the wise can see. These clothes, however, will be invisible to fools.

Because every subject in his kingdom does not want to expose himself or herself as a fool, they pretend to admire the most beautiful robe they have ever seen. In fact, however, the emperor enthrones naked during the procession.

It takes a little girl who exclaims, “But he does not wear anything” to open the crowd’s eyes.

What happened to our ability to see things as they are?
What happened to our fine sense for truth?
Why do we pretend to be more than we really are?
Why do we feel we need to hide behind knowledge, material goods, looks, and “success?”
What does it take to get in touch with our center from which we can look at our fears and loneliness?

Reading a good children’s book can help to do exactly this.

It can help to cut through layers of conditioning and of false beliefs about how we are supposed to think, behave, and conduct our lives.

The other day, for example, I read The Boy Who Loved Morning by Shannon K. Jacobs. I was deeply moved by the story of a boy who greets each morning with a song from his flute. As the day of his naming ceremony nears, he perfects his play and discovers his ability to make the sun rise earlier with his songs. He is eager to impress his tribe with his power. His grandfather, however, teaches him the difference between honoring the morning and changing it to suit his own pride.

Do I know the difference?
How much in my life do I try to change in order to proof to myself and to others that I have “power?”
Does this serve me, the people around me and the planet?

These are important questions to meditate upon.

So do yourself a favor, go to your local library and check out a couple of children’s books. On the next rainy weekend, cuddle up into your favorite blanket, have a cup of tea handy, and begin to read.

Allow the simplicity of the language to reach you.

Remember the simple truths that you once expressed.

Allow yourself to see your life with the eyes of a child.

Allow yourself to be touched.

Welcome tears.

To-Do Lists Are Treacherous

2009-10-24T09:32:00.007-06:00

I admit that for many years I am a passionate writer of to-do lists. At times, my day does not feel complete without having written a new list; at other times, however, I curse at them.

Clearly, to-do lists have advantages and disadvantages.

Advantages:

They lighten the burden for our anyway overtaxed memory
They help us remember appointments and important dates such as birthdays and anniversaries
Inspirations (such as, "I'd better acknowledge this email!") don't get lost in the myriad of the bigger and smaller things that burden our memory
They help set goals, plan, and stay on track
They provide a sense of control
They provide a sense of accomplishment

Disadvantages:

They can be a source of deep frustration if we do not get everything on our list done
They can make us feel as if our whole life is planned out, especially if we write lists way in advance
They can reinforce any compulsiveness in us and stifle spontaneity
("I don't have time to meet you for coffee; I still have five items on my to-do list to work off.")

How to get the advantages without falling victim to the perils of writing to-do lists?

Write your list with a calm mind. If you are anxious, you may list too many items and set yourself up for frustration.
Prioritize: First things first. Don't put "buying ice cream" on top of the list if it is not really the most important chore of the day.
You may place things on the list that you do anyway like "checking emails." It may make you feel good when you can check it off. On the other hand, listing these chores may make your list overwhelmingly long.
Don't put everything you can think of on tomorrow's list. Instead, write some down on a list for later days.
Distinguish between daily, weekly and monthly lists. The most detailed list is the one for the next days. The further away a time period the less detailed the list should be.
Categorize the items on the list. Use, for example, "personal," "business," "emails," 'phone calls," ect.
Always calculate buffer time. This may be just an hour, a day or a week. This way, you leave space for any spontaneous invitation, unforeseen opportunities or any other changes in the course of events you may have to - or want to - succumb to.
Regard your list as suggestions you have given to yourself. Nothing more, nothing less. Don't look at the list as an assignment that needs to be completed; otherwise you will feel a complete failure.
Allow yourself the freedom to re-write the list and to adjust it.
By no means, write a list for holidays and vacation time. If you do, shred it!
Give yourself a reprieve every once in a while and live list-free!

Always remember: The value of you as a human being is not dependent on the amount of check marks on your to-do lists and not on your accomplishments!

Don't live to work. Work to live and - to play!

I am off . . .

2009-08-05T10:05:00.005-06:00

. . . for City of Rocks, my favorite State Park in southern New Mexico. Amidst the results of volcano activity that took place an unimaginable eternity ago, I seek the urgently needed rest that I have denied myself for months. At my favorite site that provides a magnificent view over the high desert and under a tree sheltered by the rocks, I feel close to Creation.

I have taken one of my favorite books with me, Sabbath, Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in our Busy Lives. The author, Wayne Muller, a chaplain and counselor, explores the spiritual dimension of rest, knowledgeably, wisely and poetically.

I am re-reading the inspiring chapter on the first account of Creation in which we encounter “Sabbath” for the first time.
We all know the first line of Genesis. “In the beginning, God created …”

Wayne Muller, however, reveals the following: Jewish scholars suggest the reading, “In a beginning,” as if there were endless beginnings in the cycle of life. Muller continues, “Biblical scholars also agree that the phrase ‘God created’ would be better translated ‘when God began to create.’ So the story literally begins, In a beginning when God began to create the heavens and the earth . . . “

I look up and watch a car slowly coming down the road looking for a place to stop between these ancient rocks. God is not done with Creation. How comforting! He did not place a check mark after “City of Rocks” for example and then went off for another galaxy.

Another thought comes to mind: And if we humans as partners in creation listen, we would, for example, develop — and buy — different, less polluting cars than the one that has just stopped at the rock formation next to me.

I turn to my book again. “On the seventh day, he rested from all his work.”

“But a closer reading of Genesis reveals that the Sabbath was not simply a day off. It says, ‘On the seventh day God finished God’s work.’"

How can this be? Wasn’t the seventh day when God, exhausted, took time off and rested, satisfied with the laborious work of creation?

The ancient rabbis teach that on the seventh day, "God created menuha — tranquility, serenity, peace, and repose — rest, in the deepest possible sense of fertile, healing stillness. Until the Sabbath, creation was unfinished.”

Just imagine! Your laundry is not done, your report is not done, your day’s work is not done until you have sat down and rested. Not because you need to “recharge your inner batteries” in order to be able to face another tough day tomorrow; but to befriend yourself with your work and to cultivate tranquility, the only way to hear God’s suggestions for the next day of eternal creation.

After quite some time of just looking and listening to the wind in the trees, I place my belongings back into the car. On my way back home, the last sentence of this chapter goes through my mind:

“Only in the soil of Sabbath tranquility we can seed the possibility of beginning a new day, a new week — even a new life — again and again...”

Start Your Day More Gently!

2009-07-02T10:30:00.005-06:00

The first half hour may be the most important time of your day; how you spend it may change your life.

Most of us find ourselves each morning in a scenario similarly to the following: The alarm goes off, mostly with a less than pleasant sound. It takes a second or so before the noise reaches our consciousness. It then takes three to four seconds before we are halfway willing to open our eyes, just wide enough to catch a glimpse on the perpetrator. It feels, of course, far too early to get up. We hit the snooze button in a vague hope that this swift action delivers us from all evil of the day. It certainly does not. A few minutes later, the alarm goes off a second time with relentless precision. If we hit the snooze button again, we run the risk to make everything worse. And we know it.

So we rush out of bed, do what ever we have to do in the bathroom, rush off to the closet to get dressed, and dash into the kitchen for coffee and cereal. If we share our living space with crying babies, moaning teenagers, or furry pets, we tend to them as soon as a time gap of five seconds opens up.

We do all this with a higher or lesser degree of resentment, tension in the muscles, shallow breathing, and - most of all – with deep unconsciousness.

In this mental and physical condition we leave home to drop off the kids and to rush to work. Utterly stressed out we arrive at the office.

We have successfully set the stage for another day of merciless busyness. We probably will eat the wrong stuff, get mad easily, and are unaware of the voice in our head that constantly urges us to do this or that quickly and that bombards us with “you should,” “you ought to,” and “why haven’t you!”

Can it be otherwise?

Yes. Get up at least half an hour earlier and start your day gently.

Then what?

Here are a few suggestions:

Begin your day with . . .

Inspirational reading
What about some poems by Rumi? Or a book by Eckhart Tolle?

Inspirational listening
Listen to a CD with relaxing music or to an audio program of your favorite spiritual teacher

Gentle yoga stretches
Be sure to let go of any competitiveness

Meditation
Just sit quietly for five minutes or so and listen to your breath

Autogenic Training or another relaxation technique
Visit my website to learn more about Autogenics

Journaling
Make sure that you use a nice journal

Spending time outdoors
Do you have a quiet patio, porch, or garden? Watch the day break, listen to birds, and feel the cool air on your skin!

You may need to experiment to find the best method that fits to your personality and your current condition of consciousness.

Do not underestimate the importance of how you begin the day! Regardless of what you choose for a gentler start, you will connect to a deeper realm that lies beyond the necessities of daily life. You will develop heightened awareness, thus creating space within you.

It is this inner spaciousness that will allow you to maintain serenity and inner freedom.

Not necessarily for the entire rest of the day. The effect of a gentler start may last one to two hours. This, however, will increase over time and with consistency.

Of course, the alarm will still go off and its sound may still be unpleasant. Now, however, you have something to look forward to: half an hour just for yourself and your Self.

It is June and it is good.

2009-06-01T12:37:00.002-06:00

The first line of a poem comes to my mind these days. “Es ist Juni. Und es ist gut.” (“It is June. And it is good.”) I don’t remember the writer’s name or the rest of the lines. And I cannot look it up as it is in a collection of poems that is—like many other books—still at a friend’s house in Germany.

I am, however, completely satisfied with just this line. “It is June. And it is good.” What I have always sensed in these few words is a simple and deep acceptance of what is. All it takes to be “good” is that it is June (or September or February or any other time of the year).

The first book of the Bible expresses this acceptance of what is in Genesis 1:31: “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.”

Interestingly, the author of the first account of creation does not leave it with this summary. Again and again, after the creation of each element our world comprises of—light, water and earth, plants, stars, animals, and fellow humans, we can read, “and God saw that it was good” (Gen. 1:4; 1:10; 1:12; 1: 18; 1:21; 1:25).

There are no accomplishments mentioned, by the way. There was no need for Adam and Eve to become a “hero” and a “heroine.” Creation did not receive the seal of approval due to outstanding achievements or goals reached in a set time. Being created and being a part of creation alone qualifies for being “good.” It is as simple as this.

How far away, however, is this from our usual experience! From early on, we are encouraged to compete with each other; our achievements at school determine if we are “good” or not. Later on, in the relentless busyness of our lives we thrive to become “someone,” “to make it,” and to accumulate wealth as an indicator of being “successful.” And low self-esteem follows if we “fail” - in the eyes of the world.

It seems as if we distrust God's initial and unconditional love. We cannot easily rest in his (her) approval of us.

Jesus could. He hadn’t done anything special, no long-awaited healings, no touching sermons, and yet at his baptism there was this voice, “ This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17).
Soon afterward, however, yes, he started his work.

It seems as if only by accepting Creation’s fundamental acceptance of us, we are capable of doing what we are really here for. And this has little to do with worldly accomplishments, rather than with practicing love, respect, and understanding. Mother Theresa put it, “In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with a great love.”

If we can open up to be channels of Creation's love and to share it, each and every day, we are a “success.”

It is June. And it is good.

Do you need more time?

2009-05-04T15:28:00.005-06:00

Many of us lament that we don't have enough time for all the things we want to do.
If just the day had more hours, then . . .

Then, what?

Would we be less busy during these extra hours? Would we be able to enjoy life more than we usually do?

After having worked hard for many years, a friend of mine is taking a five-year sabbatical.
Doesn't this sound wonderful?

What would you do with five years of not having to work?
What does she do?

Well, she has not slowed down a bit. In an attempt to get as much out of these five years as possible, she rushes from workshop to workshop, from appointment to appointment, from book to book, from one place to see to the next. Instead of scheduling patients, she now schedules events. Her life is as busy as before.

"When we are not using our time to get money, we are using time to spend money." (Wayne Muller, Sabbath, Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight In Our Busy Lives.)

What would you do with so much free time at your disposal?
Would you get up at sunrise, sit silently outside with your cup of coffee to watch the day arriving? Would you allow your pace, gestures, and speech to become less hasty? Would you make time for friends to come over for a round of scrabble? Would you start writing long letters again? Would you stand in line at the check-out with more patience? Would you place your wrist watch in the back corner of the bottom drawer?

In short, would you slowly open to life?

Yes, we need more time.
But not to put even more on our to-do list, but simply to live. "The truth must be told: With all the money in the world, and no time, we have nothing at all" (Wayne Muller).

Meeting the enemy

2009-03-29T09:59:00.003-06:00

As soon as you notice that you are stressed, anxious, restless, or at unease, you have basically two choices:

First, you can apply a relaxation technique like gentle yoga, meditation, conscious breathing, or Autogenic Training.
Second, you can look directly on what stresses you out.

The first choice does not necessarily mean that you turn away from your stressors. You can explore so-called negative emotions with mindful meditation or with an advanced practice of yoga. Generally speaking, however, relaxation techniques tend to divert your attention away from the stressors.

This is not a bad thing to do, especially if you need to switch to a more relaxed mode quickly.
For deeper self-exploration, however, you may want to know your "enemy."

Do the following exercise:

Take a sheet of paper, sit down and ask yourself:
What do I experience as stress right now?
(Whom, what, which circumstances?)
What hinders me to live creatively, freely, and joyfully at this moment?
Listen within. Let your intuition speak. Notice what comes to mind.
Be curious; let go off any pressure.
Jot down some words; no complete sentences are necessary.
Maybe an image enters the stage of your awareness. Try a little sketch, without any artistic ambition. Think of a children's drawing or of a cartoon with callouts.
Allow the words and images to flow onto the paper until you feel that they have captured your present stress situation.
Look at your sheet while breathing evenly and deeply and with your shoulders down and relaxed.
Here they are, your stressors!
Notice any changes in the way you feel about your present situation.

For your convenience, I have made a sheet available at www.developserenity.com/serenity_spring_2009.htm

How relaxed is your relationship with your computer?

2009-03-19T10:33:00.007-06:00

Almost three weeks ago, without any forewarning, the unimaginable happened: My hard drive crashed - "for the first time in my entire life!"

From then on I went through different stages:

First, I was in disbelief and panic. Questions like, "how can this happen?" and "what am I going to do without my computer?" occupied my thinking during the first hours after the event.
And because it was a weekend, I knew I was not going to get the laptop back "soon," meaning the next day. Needless to say that this did not calm me down.

To make matters worse, I had not backed up my data since November. Consequently, I had trouble falling asleep that night. My mind was scanning my memory bank in an attempt to retrieve valuable information.

On the next morning, I noticed an irritation, oscillating between "slight" and "severe." I sat at my desk, utterly confused about what to do next and how to start my day. My usual routine for the last eight years of checking emails, answering them, checking website statistics, reading Blog updates, ect. was painfully disrupted. I felt vulnerable and isolated. After a while, I grabbed a book, stepped outside, and with a sigh sat down on a chair and began to read.

Then I noticed that I was reading like I hadn't been reading in a long time: slowly, with intense attention, and every once in a while looking up and realizing the beautiful environment - the light breeze, the rustling in the trees, the songs of the birds, the warmth of the sun.

Suddenly, I had all the time of the world. Finally, I felt a deep inner peace.

By Monday afternoon, I was surprisingly glad to hear that the repair guys were still busy to determine the extent of the damage and to save my data. I continued to start my days peacefully by sitting outside for an hour and reading. Additionally, I found myself willing to dedicate only one hour per day to check emails on my husband's computer.

The amount of time at my disposal seemed to triple; time itself deepened.
By the middle of my first computer-free week, I had a deep understanding for some of my students who refuse to purchase a computer and who go to the library for their email correspondence.

Eventually, it took me a whole week to arrive at the decision to order a new hard drive.

The second week felt like vacation.
I increasingly enjoyed my life without a computer.
Contrarily, friends felt the need to pity me. "That's too bad," they commented on my computer-less condition. "I could not live without a computer!" one friend exclaimed.

When the call came that my computer was ready to be picked up, I almost felt a sadness and a loss. I gave myself an additional computer-free day before I drove to town to take my laptop back.

And now?
Well, I am writing this sitting outside again, marveling at the beauty of the high desert. It is a wonderful evening. The breeze elicits playful sounds from the wind chime.

The question now is not how to live without a computer.
Instead, how to live with it?
How to live with this - admittedly - helpful friend that demands so much of my time, grabs my attention whenever I enter my office, and quits cooperation when I expect it the least?

I guess it's like with everybody and everything else: dancing the line between dependence and independence, respectful for the needs of both parties.

Believing in the impossible - Part 2

2009-02-27T08:09:00.002-07:00

Here is the second part from yesterday's text.

Believing in the impossible - Part 2

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Have a wonderful day!

Believing in the impossible - Part 1

2009-02-26T07:14:00.003-07:00

Do you need a little encouragement today?

I have just found this inspiring text on Paulo Coelho's Blog:

Believing in the impossible - Part 1

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Relaxation is less a matter of technique . . .

2009-02-23T10:29:00.006-07:00

. . . than of self-worth.

In my classes, I regularly ask participants how they relax.

Very few answer that they watch TV or read the newspaper for relaxation purposes. My usual response is that these pastimes are distraction and not relaxation.
Most participants, however, relax by spending an hour in the bathtub, by sitting in the garden, by having a massage, by drinking a cup of tea while watching the clouds, by spending fifteen minutes in their favorite restorative yoga pose, or by listening to Chopin.

Most of us do know how to relax deeply. A variety of methods and techniques is easily available; in-depth information on the health benefits is readily accessible.

Yet, do we take time for relaxation on a daily basis?

We brush our teeth, we check emails, we watch the news, we run errands, we do the dishes, and we scan the mail. But what about the time we wanted to take just for ourselves?

Has our life mutated into a to-do list and anything else takes precedence over us?
Can we give ourselves permission to rest only after every item on this list has a check mark?
Does our self-worth depend on our accomplishments?

Our society applauds us for accomplishments and asks us to “work hard” which means, “to work a lot” and, consequently, against our biorhythm. If we follow this paradigm obediently, relaxation will just be another item on the to-do list and the first we skip when time gets short.

The question, “How do you relax and how often,” points to the very center of our self-concept. Are we the sum of our accomplishments or the expression of a creative force that does neither begin nor end with us?

Later more.
Have a nice day!

Non-stealing and Relaxation

2009-02-15T09:30:00.001-07:00

In one of my yoga classes, we talk about asteya, the Sanskrit word for non-stealing. Asteya is one of the five universal observances or - in Sanskrit, yamas - of classical yoga.

What does asteya, non-stealing have to do with relaxation, rest, and renewal?
A lot.

We all know that we are not supposed to steal somebody's wallet, jewelry, ideas, or even his/her energy and time. Most of us, however, are less aware of how much we steal from Mother Earth. By contaminating and exploiting her resources we have put ourselves in an extremely stressful place to live!

The concept of asteya goes even one step further and encompasses non-hoarding. Now this may hit home right away. Look around at your home. What do you hoard - or "collect"(to use the more common word)? Books, magazines, shoes, garments, DVDs, ice-cream, cookies, keepsakes, square footage? Not only becomes moving more arduous, but you probably don't travel lightly through life!

Ultimately, asteya points to the root cause of why we appropriate what does not belong to us: Desire and wants. Ultimately, we are asked to practice contentment and to live a simple life.

The societies here in North America and in the Western part of Europe cherish a different paradigm: More is better. We are asked and persuaded to spend more on things we do not need. And if we have already everything, then there are more countries to travel to, more pleasures to pursue, more adventures to seek.

The drive for more traps many of us in debts and unfulfilling jobs. We begin to compromise our values.

Notice how desire and wanting increases your sense of dissatisfaction. Iyengar, one of the most influential yoga teachers of our time, says, "Craving muddles the stream of tranquility."

To live by asteya is liberating. Or, as Walter Henry Thoreau's put it: "I make myself rich by making my wants few."

There is no greater fear

2009-02-07T21:09:00.001-07:00

. . . than the fear of death. It is closely followed by the fear of not being able to pay the bills.
Because we usually don’t expect to die any time soon, the fear of lack of money overrides the fear of death. And sometimes people even prefer to die than to live without money. One of my husband's distant relatives shot himself after their mobile home, for which he and his wife had saved all their life, was washed away by a flash flood. I am sure that you too have heard of somebody who committed suicide after he/she has lost “everything,” meaning home and all possessions.

Of course, not “everything” was lost.

If, however, we identify ourselves with our external, material possessions, then losing them comes dangerously close to losing our Self and therefore life itself.

I am writing this with great compassion and understanding. Losing home and all belongings with little prospects of recovering is one of the greatest challenges life can impose on us.

Most of us are not exposed to such dramatic circumstances. Most of us spend sleepless nights because our work hours are cut back, we are laid off, we face unexpected medical bills, and because the media repeatedly deliver us a grim picture of the current and future economic situation.

The fear of lack of money is also fed by
- The anticipation of worst-case scenarios, which may or may not materialize
- A clinging to living standards most fellow humans on this planet cannot even dream of

For many years, a friend of mine could not imagine to purchase a used car, to drop the expensive contract with the cable company, or not to eat out at least three times per week.

For most of us, the fear of lack of money is the fear of change. (Death, by the way, is a form of change too.) Change is frightening, especially if it means "getting smaller" or "settling for less." It strikes at the ego that likes to draw self-esteem from the amount of material goods that we can afford.

From this perspective, the economic crisis actually gives us great opportunities:
The opportunity to cultivate a sympathetic attitude towards the rest of the world:
Three quarters of the world's population live in desperate poverty where lack of money threatens their mere survival. We can learn generosity. This can be in the form of giving to a charity or of helping out a friend in need.

The opportunity to realize the dependence from each other:
We are not alone "for better or worse." In ecology and economy, the crash in one sector triggers a domino effect. We can learn responsibility. We can make the time to stay informed and become active in our community.

The opportunity to remember our purpose in life:
As everybody close to death knows, this is not accumulating stuff. Instead, we can set out to learn what each spiritual path teaches us: love, respect, and compassion.

The opportunity to develop calmness and to learn to deal with fear:
After all, as Franklin D. Roosevelt stated in 1933: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Similarly, I don't forget what an ER physician I worked with for many years told me once: "My real job is to stay calm."

In the midst of the fear of lack of money we can grow - individually and collectively!

What do you think?

If they can do it, what's our excuse?

2009-01-25T08:06:00.000-07:00

For all animal lovers!

Thanks to Camille for the video!

Being In The Right Place

2009-01-16T08:14:00.001-07:00

Being In The Right Place

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Click on the link above.

This a beautiful photo.
Take your time looking at it and take notice of your inner response!

Hard Times

2009-01-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

A man was selling oranges in the middle of a road. He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers. He put some signs along the road and spent the whole day praising the flavor of his wares.
Everyone bought from him and the man thrived. With the money he placed more signs on the road and began to sell more fruit. Business was growing fast when one day his son - who was educated and had studied in a big city - asked him:
- Father, don’t you know that the world is going through very hard times? The economy of the country is in an awful state!
Worried by this, the man reduced the number of signs and began to sell fruit of inferior quality because it was cheaper. Sales slumped immediately.
“My son is right,” he thought. “Times are very hard.”

I found this on Paulo Ceolho's Blog and thought that it is worthwhile to share.

Once in a lifetime

2009-01-04T13:51:00.000-07:00

Once in a lifetime, everybody should . . .

Board the wrong train on the spur of a moment and see what happens

Hide in a closet, listening to what happens outside and feel safe

Without feeling guilty, eat a whole big chocolate bar, because this exactly what he or she needs right now

Jump into a fountain in an evening dress and feel like a goddess

Walk over an old cemetery, read the inscriptions on the tombstones, and contemplate life and time, the time that has passed and the time that still remains

(Der andere Advent, text for 1/1/09, translated by the Blog author)

I wish all of us an exciting New Year!

Silence

2008-12-23T13:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

Each year, a friend of mine in Germany sends me a special advent calendar. This calendar offers for each day of the advent a story, a poem, or a little thoughtful note from all over the world.

I would like to translate and to share with you today's little story, titled Quarrtsiluni.

Majuaq was an old Eskimo woman. Knud Rasmussen, the research scientist, had asked her to tell him about the history of her tribe.

The old Majuaq shook her head and said:

"I have to think first, because we elders had a custom, named Quarrtsiluni."

"What is Quarrtsiluni?"

"Well, I am going to tell you. But I won't tell you any more today!"

And Majuaq began to talk with big hand gestures.

"In the old days, each fall we had great festivities to honor the soul of the whale. These festivals always had to be opened with new songs. No old songs were allowed to be sung, when men and women danced to honor these animals. And we had the custom that at the time when the men searched for the words for the new hymns all lamps had to be extinguished. It had to be dark and still in the festival house. Nothing was supposed to disturb or to distract. The men, the old and young, sat in deep silence. This silence was called Quarrtsiluni.

It meant that you wait for something to unfold. Our ancestors believed that songs were born in silence. They then grow larger in the human soul and rise up from the depth like bubbles rise up from the depth of the ocean where they seek the air to break open. This is the way the sacred hymns come into being."

I wish all of us - however busy we are during the holidays - that we can make the time to go into silence and to allow whatever wants to unfold to be born.

Are you down?

2008-12-15T15:40:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

Are you down? Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you feel like giving up?
Watch this You Tube video: http://www.youtube.com;80/watch?v=Tv1gCa5Us7Q

Afterward, don't run away from the emotions that may arise!

The Butterfly

2008-12-08T12:00:00.001-07:00

The Master knew that everybody has his or her own rhythm when it comes to growth. He used the following story to clarify this point to his students:

Once a man observed a butterfly that struggled to hatch out of its cocoon. The birth seemed to be painful to him, and he wanted to help the little animal. He began to blew his warm and friendly breath toward the butterfly. Indeed, he was successful in speeding up the process, and quickly the butterfly was able to hatch out. Now however, its fine wings stuck together! It soon died.

The Master closed by saying, "You cannot speed up the process of growing. Hastened growth is fatal."

Adapted from Anthony de Mello, Gib Deiner Seele Zeit