Here’s my review:

Comments on – Joe & Paula: Does Joe spend too much time taking care of himself – having manicures, pedicures, etc?

Well, it didn’t take long for me to totally disagree with the Marriage Ref’s call – I am going with Paula.  Paula married a cop who has turned into a bodily obsessed pampering machine.  Joe is obsessing over cleanliness and pampering spa-like activities for his own personal hygiene on a daily basis. This pampering takes on an obsessive-compulsive nature.  How do I know this? Because it is monopolizing his time and interfering with his life - taking away time from his family. Joe you are definitely NOT a manly man! Maybe you were when you were a cop – but you certainly aren’t now.  That’s Dr. Patty Ann – The Relationship Expert’s call!

Comments on Luis & Dalia: Should Luis be allowed to use the formal dining room table for card games?

Okay, I have to have full disclosure here.  My husband and sons wanted to change my formal living room into a game room by throwing out the formal furniture and replacing it with a pool table and various other “male” bonding items.  My answer to this inquiry – which turned into pleading: No! The formal living room remains formal.  Therefore, it should come as no surprise that I agree with The Marriage Ref’s call – No card games are to be held in the formal dining room.

The best line of the show goes to Natalie Morales: “Women possess better assembly skills than men”
The worse line of the show goes to Luis: “Anytime I talk, you should shut your mouth because I am a man”!

Make sure you check out next week’s comments as Dr. Patty Ann – “The Relationship Expert” makes her “Call” on the Marriage Ref’s Call!

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.drpattyann.com

Sometimes our relationships are a little bit like our closets, the more closet space you have – the more stuff you store; the longer you are in your relationship – the more grudges and bad feelings you hold onto.

Spring is the perfect time to take inventory of your relationship and throw away all the crap that clutters it. Once you let go of the old stuff – you will be amazed to see how much room you make in your heart for more love and happiness.

Below is some advice to help you throw out the old stuff that has slowly but surely crept into your relationship and make room for all the new and exciting experiences and feelings that are sure to await you!

1. Let go of the emotional junk and throw it out!

That’s right – let go of the hurt and resentment you might be carrying around towards your partner over silly little things that don’t add up to a hill of beans. Holding a grudge about former slights and/or hurts will only hold you back and weigh you down on your journey throughout life. So what if they were 15 minutes late for an appointment? In the final analysis, does it really matter? Come on, if you want to increase positive feelings in your relationship you have to let go of the negative ones. They don’t serve you – or your relationship – well. So avoid all this negativity like the plaque.

2. Commit to making your relationship your #1 priority.

No more excuses. Everything else should take a back seat to the most important element of your life – and that is your relationship. There is a reason no one has ever said at the end of their life: “I wish I spent more time in the office”. Got it? Make time for your relationship – no excuses – Just Do It!

3. Shift your mindset into Positive Gear!

Many times it is our mindset that is the real culprit that prevents us from having the relationship we want and deserve. Without even realizing it we find ourselves focusing on the negative aspects of our relationship (see #1) – and the less than perfect qualities of our partner. Doing this may completely blind us to all the benefits of our loving relationship and the many wonderful attributes and qualities of our partner.

There is a reason you are with your partner to begin with, remember? If your mindset is set in the negative mood – then the negative is all you will see. Shift your mindset into a positive gear – and you will be shocked to see how much this shift changes what you think, feel and believe about your partner and your relationship – in positive ways that are way too many to enumerate here. Don’t take my word for it. Try it and you will see that it’s true.

Since we all sow what we reap – sow your relationship this spring with a conscious attempt to let go of any negativity that may have crept into your relationship throughout these past few winter months. And give up on the grudge holding – it is just a total waste of time and energy and anyway – why would you want to hold onto that kind of negative energy in the first place? Let it go.

Use Nike’s motto and Just do it. Prioritize you relationship – no excuses allowed. (BTW – isn’t it interesting that Nike is the Greek word for Victory?) Finally, and perhaps most importantly, shift your mindset from the negative to the positive.

If you follow these 3 simple steps this month, your relationship will spring forward and blossom in love and romance – for a new and improved relationship!

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.drpattyann.com

I love the unspoken premise to the Marriage Ref show- that you must be able to laugh at your marriage and not take every situation so seriously!!
Comments on Kevin & Danielle – The “Fonz” issue - should Kevin be allowed to keep his dead stuffed dog in a shrine in their home?
I totally agree with the Marriage Ref’s call - The Fonz cannot stay enshrined in the house. But I would allow Kevin to keep The Fonz in the garage (not just the attic). That’s Dr. Patty Ann – the Relationship Expert’s call!
Comments on Greg & Diana - Stripper Pole Issue - Should Greg be allowed to have a stripper pole put in their bedroom - for Diana to use
Again, I agree with the Marriage?Ref’s call – No stripper pole in the bedroom.
However, I must comment that Diana should be aware of the fact that what Greg is really asking for is more intimacy and romance in their relationship. Diana, what do you think all the sexy lingerie is about? So a word of caution for this marriage – Find a way to bring “sexy back” or you might have some trouble on the horizon.
The best line of the show goes to Diana when she said: “People in hell want ice water but they don’t get it”. I love it! (I wrote this before I knew Marv Albert was going to make his comment about this line).
Make sure you check out next week’s comments as “The Relationship Expert” makes a “Call” on The Marriage Ref’s Call!
Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.drpattyann.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
twitter@drpattyann

It is a comic, reality series where 3 celebrities “experts” featuring Alec Baldwin, Kelly Ripa and Jerry Seinfeld, and a “relationship expert” played by Tom Papa (Seinfeld really should have picked me) hear, examine and then judge disputes between real-life couples in long-term relationships – and then decide who is right and who is wrong in the dispute. In addition, the audience will be able to hear and analyze these fights and decide who is right and who is wrong too.

Seinfeld said: “After 10 years of marriage, I realized the comedic potential of this topic is quite rich. This is the way marriage should be; everybody needs a ref”. And I couldn’t agree more.

So guess what? I will be blogging my own relationship expert responses to the celebrity responses every week following the show. Once my comments have been posted, I would love to hear your feedback on my reaction to the celebrity feedback. This should make for some enlightening and entertaining reading.

Follow my blog after The Marriage Ref airs every week and read my comments about what is right and wrong for these couples.

Stay tuned – you won’t want to miss these blogs!!

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.drpattyann.com

Therefore, the trick to maintaining love and intimacy in your relationship is NOT to avoid the fact that you and your partner may be angry with each other or feel differently about some issues; rather it is to bring these angry and/or differing feelings out into the open so you are both fully aware of them. And this is where tip #1 begins – communication.

1. Communicate your feelings about what is bugging or upsetting you.

I wish I had a nickel for every time someone told me: “I shouldn’t have to tell him/her that I am upset about blah, blah, blah (whatever it is the person is upset about) – he/she should know. HELLO?! Well maybe he/she should know- but so what? If they don’t know – tell them. Your relationship is not a game – with a winner or loser. You don’t want to go there. Your relationship is a partnership – so act like it is and communicate your feelings – There is too much at stake to be playing a guessing game.

2. Listen to what your partner has to say. That’s right- you’ve said your piece about what is bothering you or how you are feeling about a particular situation. Now it is time for you to be quiet and let your partner tell you how they feel about the situation – and what you just said.

Don’t interrupt them and be truly open to hearing their side of the issue and conflict. There is a pretty good chance you played some role, albeit minor, to get you to where you are feeling now. Now relax, I am not suggesting that you are to blame - I am only suggesting there is no such thing as a one-handed clap. Got it?

3. Be open and willing to compromise – and forgive - if the situation calls for it. Chances are your partner did not deliberately set out to upset or hurt you. Misunderstandings and miscommunications happen all the time.  Hey, we are all only human and we all need to be able to compromise and forgive at some point in our relationship - if we are in it for the long haul. Remember, the future might call for you to be forgiven by your partner – so what goes around, comes around.

And while we are talking about compromising, let’s not forget that sometimes we need to be able to “agree to disagree”, respectfully, of course.

The next time you and your partner are not on the same page, or in disagreement over some issue - make sure you tell your partner. They can’t read your mind and they don’t have a crystal ball. After you have said you piece, zip it and listen to what your partner has to say. Finally, be ready and willing to compromise and forgive – whatever the situation might call for. There is no value in you winning the battle only to lose the war. And finally, it is okay to respectfully “agree to disagree”.

Relationships are like life – they take you down paths and roads that twist and turn and often take you off course. The secret is to enjoy the journey with the one you love – and don’t sweat every unexpected detour and pothole that comes your way.

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.drpattyann.com

Anyone watching the 2010 Winter Olympics www.thewinterolympics.com in Vancouver, Canada on the NBC network knows the name Lindsey Vonn. For those of you who aren’t sports fans, Lindsey Vonn is arguably the best female downhill skier in the World. In spite of the fact that she suffered a serious shin injury while training in Austria a few weeks ago, and it seemed doubtful as to whether or not she would be able to compete in the 2010 Winter Olympics; on Wednesday, Feb. 17, 2010 Lindsey Vonn not only competed but became the first American woman to win a gold medal in the Olympic downhill ski race in Vancouver, Canada.

So what does any of this have to do with relationships? Lindsey Vonn’s husband is credited with playing an extremely significant role in his wife’s success. Thomas Vonn, himself a former Olympic skier often serves as his wife’s coach, advisor, mentor, friend, psychologist and overall stress-reliever for Lindsey. The team effort put forth by Lindsey and Thomas Vonn personify the qualities of what makes a great marriage: support, encouragement, honest advice, cheerleading, a united front and a sense that they are in it together.

Lindsey Vonn has been known to call her husband up to the starting gate prior to a big race to calm her down. She calls and he comes. Lindsey Vonn knows her husband has her back; and whatever comes around the corner, they personify the fact that they are in it together.
Let’s rewind for a moment. Four years ago, in the 2006 Olympic games, Lindsey Vonn suffered a violent crash during a downhill training run, dashing her hopes of winning an Olympic Medal. In the four years following this crash, Vonn has won some of the most prestigious awards in her sport. After winning her second overall World cup title last year, Lindsey Vonn came to New York for an interview with Dick Ebersol, a major NBC sports executive which was held at Rockefeller Center.
Following the crash mentioned above, many have commented on how much more confidence Lindsey has when she skis. And Lindsey would agree with this assessment - while immediately credited her gain of confidence to her husband. And while Lindsey in gaining international fame for her feats upon the ski slope, she is also in a whirl of controversy over her most recent photo on the cover of The 2010 Sports Illustrated
Swimsuit Edition - lindseyvonn – sports – illus_n_450438.html
And once again, to no one’s surprise, her husband Thomas is by her side, supporting her unconditionally.
The point of this blog is to show how so much more can be accomplished when a couple works as a team. Whether we are regular folks trying to raise a family or Olympic skiers trying to win gold – you have a distinct and powerful advantage if you have a partner beside you who unconditionally supports, encourages, mentors and loves you.

Dr. Patty Ann
www.drpattyann.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
twitter@drpattyann.com

Share with us your plans for this most romantic day (and evening).  Do you plan on spending it at home or going out on the town to a fancy restaurant?

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.drpattyann.com

Tell us how you feel about Valentine’s Day? Do you really love it like I do or do you just tolerate it? Share your reasons why you feel the way you do.

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.drpattyann.com

Is your preference to focus on your sense of smell and use aromatic candles in your bedroom or do you prefer to focus on another one of our 5 senses to create a romantic ambiance in your bedroom?

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com

Do you wear sexy lingerie all the time or only for special occasions, like Valentine’s Day or your anniversary, etc?

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com