Last week I experimented with a TV free week (loved it and want to keep doing it!) and unsurprisingly found a whole bunch of time for podcast listening and reading.

Much of what I was tuning into was about recognising resistance, and how to overcome it (or move through it) to release your creativity and get on with doing that thing you really want to do (or thought you wanted to do before the horrible, hulking monster of resistance showed up).

Helpful stuff.

The real surprise was the connection between the nature of resistance and the work I do, which is helping people market (otherwise known as getting the word out about) the wonderful thing they have to offer to the world.

Enter the lizard brain

In this great conversation between Seth Godin and Merlin Mann*, Seth said that he  appreciates his resistance (AKA lizard brain) because it so clearly shows him what not to do.

See, the lizard brain wants you to fit in, to avoid potential failure and embarrassment.

What the lizard brain doesn’t realise is that the rules have changed. If you want to survive now, fitting in is that last thing you should do.

The lizard brain doesn’t realise that the cost of creative failure is NOTHING. You can just try again (and probably be a little wiser for the experience).

Choosing creation over safety

So, whatever the resistance tells Seth to do — like omit from one of his books a contentious section that would probably anger a bunch of people — he does the opposite.

Seth and Merlin talked about Bob Dylan and how he consistently made choices driven by his own creative inspiration, choices that often alienated his fans and got him booed off stage. The man obviously has no lizard brain.

How does this gel with traditional business marketing strategy?

You know, the process of identifying your customer’s needs (or pain points) and then delivering what they want? Of being completely customer focussed?

It doesn’t.

Seth himself says in the interview that the calculating, the ‘close-to-the-customer bullshit’, the focus grouping, the mindset of typical marketing is all about indulging the resistance — how can I avoid being made fun of?

I think you can dig within that and find many passionate business people who know – deeply, quietly know – what they want to bring to the world and how they want to bring it. But their lizard brains are spewing out all the online marketing guru mantras: magnetic headlines! engagement strategy! be accessbile! be an expert! highlighter sales pages! sales funnels! the almighty list!

I’m not saying that all of those tools are inherently bad. That you can’t put them to some good use.

But the lizard brain is screaming that you have to do all this stuff and that you have to do it NOW. And it completely overwhelms that deep, quiet knowing within you.

Which is exactly what the lizard brain wants, because if you follow what everyone else says and fail, well at least it was the pack that got it wrong and not you.

How sad is that?

Which is why I talk about marketing taking place at the core of your business, which is the meeting place between you and your ideal people. Meaning you are absolutely present.

My own lizard brain gets antsy when I go further down this path.

It’s antsy right now.

How can I be thinking this stuff that seems counter to, or at least not aligned with, the mainstay of the marketing and copywriting world?**

And, perhaps even worse, how do I dare say it out loud when I cannot even articulate a neat 7 step process that encapsulates my reasoning and proves how it works? How can I talk about this when my own ideas are still forming and changing?

Shouldn’t I just stick with the pack, where it’s safer?

This is a gut thing. Not a logic thing. I feel in my bones that this is the right direction. That this is how we get the word out about whatever great thing we are doing. That this is how we do our great thing.

And if I’m wrong?

Well, I don’t think this idea can be completely wrong – because I see it working for people who are doing great things. (And ‘great’ doesn’t necesarily mean big, it means things that are done with care and creativity, to make a genuine contribtuion, to help others.)

But if I am proven to be a raving idealist with no concept of how success actually happens in the ‘real world’?

(Thanks for jumping in there lizard brain. You’re a peach.)

Then I guess my idea will have failed in the ‘real world’. And I’ll learn. And I’ll dream. And I’ll create again.

*The interview is about Seth’s new book Linchpin which I haven’t yet read (it’s on order). But I have no doubt it will break my mind open even further about all this stuff.
** Yes, there are notable exceptions to the traditional marketing mould – like Mark Silver’s Heart of Business.

In the world of marketing and copywriting, ‘What’s the benefit?’ is a mantra. It’s the question every service or product has to answer, in one way or another, to convince us to hand over the cash – What’s this going to do for me? Why should I care?

The buzz cut queen of marketing, Naomi Dunford, has a typically to-the-point post explaining the difference between features and benefits (the two are often confused), and how to work out the benefits you deliver. In brief:

If you don’t know [if it's a feature or a benefit], drill down. Ask why whatever it is you’re thinking about is important to your customer. When you arrive at an answer that even a three-year-old could understand, you’ve found your benefit…

Web design
Feature: Knowledge of PHP, AJAX, JavaScript, etc.
Benefit: You get a pretty website.

Seems straight forward…

What if you’re talking benefits, but your ideal customers just aren’t getting it?

One possibility is that you are stuck in a reality distortion field, a term I lifted from a post about the Apple iPad (via @gwenbell):

[There's a] reality distortion field at work, though, and everyone that makes a living from the tech industry is within its tractor-beam. That RDF tells us that computers are awesome, they work great and only those too stupid to live can’t work them.

You know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of this, don’t you? To be the one who doesn’t ‘get it’?

What if I put it like this:

You’re in a reality distortion field. It’s created by your intimate, direct knowledge of how and why the thing you do is so awesome. You’re talking about benefits from within that field. And your ideal customers who aren’t getting it? They’re on the outside.

That doesn’t mean your benefits aren’t real or valuable

Let’s be clear about this. Because as a passion-driven entrepreneur you might become very disheartened at this point and conclude that if people aren’t getting it, there must be something wrong with what you’re offering.

You may think that people just don’t want it.

Maybe they don’t.

However, I spend a great deal of time talking with clients who are offering something wonderful and useful, and who do have very satisfied customers, so they know they’re delivering something that their right people want. But, the value is being lost in translation when they try to communicate with potential new clients.

What’s going wrong?

Honestly, there is so much to be said about communicating benefits and your value in a way your people can hear and understand. I expect to come back this topic again and again in the future. For now, let’s focus on just one translation problem that arises from your reality distortion field.

The benefits you’re talking about are important to you, but not to them.

With any service, particularly those provided by coaches, consultants and creative professionals, clients are likely to experience a bunch of great benefits. You really want to focus on just a few to create a clear and compelling message.

But what you perceive as the most important (from within your field of knowledge and experience), isn’t necessarily the ones that are most valued by your people.

Hint: Most often, they respond best to those benefits that are immediate, significant and easily understood.

Again, it doesn’t mean your other benefits suck. More likely, your people simply can’t relate to those benefits from where they are right now.

Very. Common. Disconnect.

You’re talking about how at the end of the process (or even beyond) they will have, or be able to do, x, y and z. Right now, their mind is tangled up with pressing problems. And from that place of pain and stuck they can’t even imagine, much less care about, x, y and z.

You’ve got two options here:

Stay in your reality distortion field. Dig in. You know that this particular benefit is the most important. Try to convince your people of that.

OR

Step out. Find the meeting place at the core of your business. Give information you believe will be useful to them right now. Don’t get caught up in your own narrative. Be absolutely present, but present without ego.

Give your right people enough to hang on to, without overwhelming them

It’s not about showcasing your skills or expertise for the sake of it. Don’t overwhelm your people with everything you could possibly achieve together.

Use your awesome knowledge of what you do, and your interactions with your ideal clients, to focus on what’s really important to them. So they can hear it, relate to it, understand it, and get excited about it.

Be willing to let go (not entirely, but enough to meet you people where they are) of your ‘pet’ benefits. The ones you really care about, but that your ideal clients simply aren’t able to see right now.

These benefits might continue to happen in the background whether you talk about them or not, and they may even end up being really valued ’surprise bonuses’ that your clients recognise and appreciate by the end of the process. Excellent – who doesn’t like a surprise bonus?

The key to breaking out of your reality distortion field

Listen.

Make sure you are listening to the right people – your ideal clients.

Let them tell you what’s the most important benefit. Listen carefully. You will rarely hear what you need to hear in a formal way (in a testimonial or otherwise) like this:

Client: The thing I valued most about our work together was…

Instead, listen carefully for moments of spontaneous exuberance and clarity that emerge throughout the process. Such as:

Client: Wow, I’ve never thought of that… This is fantastic because now I can…

Or they may say nothing specific. You may just notice their energy level lift as you explain a particular approach, or work through a particular problem.

Pay attention to these moments! Really. Listen. All the information you need to connect with your ideal clients is there – offered up by your own people – don’t allow it to get lost in your reality distortion field!

When I left the corporate cube to start my own business, I didn’t realise that the challenges and rewards would be as much personal as professional.

In the J.O.B., when stuff got tough, I could detach. I could tell myself that I was just following the rules (do what you’re told, be happy with what you have, work hard, play safe) and if that didn’t feel great, well, so what? Welcome to the real world.

I could easily blame whatever frustration, unhappiness and impotence I felt on the situation, and the fact that I was subject to the decisions of others.

Now, there’s nowhere to go but me

As an entrepreneur, I now create my path from minute to minute. And the choices I make reveal, on a daily basis, the ocean of beliefs, assumptions and behaviours within me – stuff that I had never really explored, let alone questioned, before I went out on my own.

For me, business is personal.

I guess it’s not that way for everyone but it is for a growing number of us who might be called creative entrepreneurs, artists of commerce, innerpreneurs or mindful business founders.

Inner work: awesome, but not much fun

I believe (for a bucket-load of reasons that I’ll probably talk about in more detail later) that giving attention and care to what’s going on inside – your thoughts, feelings, energy and physical state – is, to put it simply, awesome.

Awesome for you. Awesome for your business. Awesome for the world.

Unfortunately, it’s just about never easy, or fun. It usually involves dealing with something that’s stuck, and stuck for a good reason. Probably (at least in my experience) because the unsticking involves some pain, some loss, some uncertainty, some fear, some risk – yep, all of our favourite things.

I’ve found that this inner stuff can be so stuck, and the avoidance filters so effective, that I can’t even see it properly. All I see are the surface effects – things not working as they should (or how I’d like), or feeling out of balance / blocked.

Finding a way in

Fortunately, I know a Destuckification Pirate Queen, Havi Brooks. And one of the many very cool things she does is show us how to talk to our inner stuff.

Or perhaps, to describe it more as I’ve experienced it, how to join in on the inner conversations already underway.

Because they are already talking.

Who? You know, them. Your blocks and monsters and fears and critics. They’re all having their say so you can either try to ignore them (see avoidance filter above) or get chatty on their ass.

So now, I have conversations with them.

Like my recent chat with a mumbly old man

I was seriously jammed up about some work. It didn’t seem like a particularly tricky project, I’d already done most of the hard thinking, and yet I found myself doing just about anything (snacks, housework, TV) to avoid the actually sitting at my desk and writing part. My mind was jumping from one thing to another.

Recognising the symptoms, I realised it was time to talk.

This is where it gets a little kooky

The way I start the conversation most of the time (and everyone has different ways) is to be still, close my eyes, and go to my meadow.

The meadow has soft, not-too-long grass, and is surrounded by a scattering of trees that no doubt get more forest-y the further away from the meadow you go. I always enter the meadow from the same direction, and I know that if I continue walking down I’ll come to a stream. It’s usually a sunny but not-too-hot morning when I arrive.

I sit or lie down in the meadow and ask for whoever has something to say to come forward. That’s it.

And this is what happened…

At first, not much. Usually someone will just speak up, but all I could hear was wind through the tree-tops. Then I realised that it wasn’t rustling leaves, but voices, and a lot of them, swirling around and around the periphery of the meadow.

Finally, an old man stepped out. He was stooped and mumbling to himself – it was a constant but quiet mumbling that sounded like a lot of voices going at once. He seemed worried.

Me: Hi

Mumbly: There’s a lot to be done you know, no time for small talk.

Me: Actually, it’s not a really busy week. We’ve had time to take breaks and relax.

Mumbly: Exactly! Which means we must be behind on everything now!

Me: Uh, OK. Well, maybe it would help if we made a list of all this stuff we have to do?

I make a quick list of everything outstanding.

Me: OK, that’s a pretty big list, but a lot of these are just small follow-up things and there are others we can’t even start on right now. Really, the best thing we can do is finish this project I’m trying to work on right now… the thing is, your mumbling is really distracting and annoying.

Mumbly: Oomph, that hurts! Do you think because I’m old I can’t be helpful? That you don’t need me?

Uh oh, getting him upset isn’t going to help.

Me: Absolutely not. You’re on my team! I know the mumbling is you helping me remember what I need to do, but I have the list now thanks to you, and as soon as we finish this project I’m going to knock off a few of those quick tasks. It’ll be great.

Mumbly looks at me suspiciously

Eep! How can I keep him occupied and quiet? What about…

Me: While you’re waiting, why don’t I get you a nice cup of tea and plate of ANZAC biscuits*?

Mumbly: Yes!

*Extra chewy sweet biscuit popular Down Under.

Mumbly got to chew on his biscuits and I got to get on with my work.

Pacifying your disruptive internal task master with a plate of biscuits and a cup of tea? I warned you it was going to get a little kooky, but it works for me.

Joining the comment party?

Wonderful! As you might guess, this inner work can expose some tender spots. Let’s make this a safe space to share what we’re learning about our stuff (I’d love to hear if you have a mumbly old man). If that’s not your cup of tea, then this probably isn’t the party for you.

In part 1, we talked about finding your business sweet spot at the intersection between you and your audience. In part 2 we talked about your audience. And today (surprise, surprise!) we’re talking about you.

It’s not about you

That’s what many marketers, copywriters and sales-types will chant over and over again.

Focus only on your customer.
Give them what they want, how they want it.
Tell them what they want to hear.
And remember, no-one cares about you.

I don’t think that’s true for most businesses these days, and it’s especially not true for coaches, consultants and creative entrepreneurs.

You are an equally important in the equation. You need to be present in the essence of your business – and present in the message that brings you into connection and conversation with your ideal customers.

It’s about you because you need to believe

If you go by the old-school marketing rules, finding your message means drilling down to the people who want your thing (AKA ‘desperate’ buyers) and then saying whatever is necessary to push them over the line to buy.

That might get you some sales, but does it really work for you? If your business is about making a difference and sharing your passion, can you really approach your marketing like a robot crunching on target demographics and trigger words?

The other danger is that you attract people who, although they want your thing, aren’t necessarily the kind of people you want to work with – which further erodes your self-belief and enthusiasm.

You can’t get to your ideal people without bringing you into the equation. And you can’t rock your marketing as a mindful entrepreneur, if your message doesn’t reflect your truth.

It’s about you because your people need to believe

We’re exposed to so many marketing message (thousands every day) and we’re cynical. What did you think the last time you dealt with a sales person who just keep telling you what (they thought) you wanted to hear? You know the type – fast talkers promising that their thing is the biggest and the best you just can’t do without.

Your gut tells you there’s no substance, there’s nothing behind the facade, and your defenses shoot right up.

There can’t be trust unless your people have a sense of the person behind the sale. They need that feeling of substance, of knowing what you’re about and why you’re talking to them, so they can make their own judgements and be comfortable in their choices.

It’s about you because your people want connection and conversation (and that takes two)

This is about the experience of making a purchase – everything that leads up to the decision to buy and everything that follows.

There was a time when big companies treated you like you were lucky to have the opportunity to buy from them – you got exactly what you paid for and not much else. But the world got bigger and smaller at the same time, consumers got more choice, and now people demand a lot more out of their buying experience. From a more convenient sales process, to nicer packaging, to ongoing help.

Connection and conversation is part of that experience. Your people want more intimacy – I believe that’s why there’s increasing interest in buying services from micro and solo businesses.

Just as you’re looking for your ideal people, they’re looking for their ideal service provider – the person with whom they can connect and converse. They can only find that if you show them who you are.

So, where is this sweet spot, exactly?

It’s tempting to talk about this an an equation in terms of balance and exact measurements – mixing just the right amount of your values and just the right amount of your audience’s needs.

But in my experience it’s much more organic than that. There is no precise formula.

The best way I can describe it is to say, it’s a meeting place.

It’s where you meet your ideal person, discover shared stories, and offer up your help. You reside in this place together. You give information you believe will be useful, but you also leave space for their response. You don’t get caught up in your own narrative. You are absolutely present, but you are present without ego. You are true and whole, but in service to them.

Despite my headline, I’ll admit it’s not really about you. But it’s not about them either.

It’s about the potential that arises from your connection and exchange. That’s your business core.

In part 1, we talked about finding your business sweet spot, and your core message, at the intersection between you and your audience.

Let’s start with your audience.

If you try to talk to everyone, you’ll end up talking to no-one

You get this, right? We’re shooting for conversation, and conversation is built on common ground. It’s pretty difficult to find common ground with 6 billion people.

So we’re all human, huh?

Let’s not try to talk to everyone.

How about the people who might use your thing* at some time or another?

*You know, your Thing. The wonderful thing you make or do that helps people.

Sounds better, but this is still a pretty large group. Classic marketing will tell you to narrow your scope further to those who really want your thing.

People who really want your thing:

• have, and are keen to do something about, the problems you can solve
• are interested in hearing from someone (like you) who can help with their problem
• may even be actively looking for someone (like you) who can help with their problem
• are sometimes known as ‘motivated’ or ‘desperate’ buyers.

By the way, if the idea of targeting ‘desperate’ people is setting off your sleazy marketing radar – think about it as the people you are most able to help. It’s truly the flip side of the same coin. Of course the people you are most able to help are going to be the ones most motivated to buy from you.

A horribly stereo-typed example (forgive me)

Let’s say you’re selling vacuum cleaners.

You may occasionally sell a cleaner to a young guy who’s recently left home. Maybe. (If they’ve had a party and the landlord is arriving in an hour.) So ‘young home-leavers’ could conceivably fall into the category of people who might buy your vacuums at some time or another. But they’re not really motivated to buy, they’re not really keen to do something about their dirty carpets, and they’re more likely to be looking for the cheapest option.

Meanwhile, you also sell quite a few cleaners to stay-at-home mums. They often have more than one child plus a pet. They’re home-owners, they have nice carpets, and they really want to keep them clean and in good condition. They want a quality solution and are willing to invest in it.

Which customer do you want? Who should you be talking to?

Letting go is hard

Letting go of the ‘maybe’ customers is a tough step for many business people. Often I’ll be working with a client, and we’ll be talking about their core audience, and they’ll say, “but I occasionally have this other type of customer and I don’t want to put them off.” They’re anxious about ‘missing out’ on any selling opportunity.

Trust me, when you focus on the people who really want you, your conversations are going to be much more effective and you’re going to attract more of your best customers. And those occasional outliers? You’ll always get those too. It just happens like that.

But wait, there’s more.

Within the ‘motivated’ buyers there’s an even smaller group – your ideal people. These are the people who are not only looking for solutions like the one you offer, they’re the perfect fit for you and your business.

They’re the ones who truly value you, what you offer, and how you deliver it. They want to have an ongoing relationship and conversation with you. They’re not only loyal and pleasant to deal with – they also promote you to others because they trust you.

A personal example

Let’s take my thing – smart fresh writing for businesses.

People who might use my thing: Any business needing words for a page.

People who really want my thing: Businesses looking for professional advice and assistance to improve their online communications.

My ideal people: Passionate, mindful businesses looking for communications advice and copy that reflects their values and works for their customers. People I like, and who like me.

Remember, these are YOUR ideal people

The final step to your ideal people isn’t about demographics or market research – it’s about you. And that’s what I’ll be talking about in part 3 of this series…

Questions? Thoughts? Put ‘em in the comments!

Marketing, communication, business story-telling, relationship copywriting – it all comes down to this: the intersection between you and your audience.

The sweet spot in the middle is where we find the essence of your business, the unadorned truth that is clear and compelling, the message that brings you into connection and conversation with your ideal customers.

How can we make it sexier?

A lot of marketing and branding strategies seem to be about how to add to your message or your story to make it more appealing. Like adding sugar to, well, just about anything we eat or drink.

The additives, the spin-doctoring, the repackaging are all layers that wrap around and around your core message and cloud its power. Like a radio station that’s not quite tuned in, the transmission becomes noisy and people switch off.

Don’t repackage, unpackage

Strip away the noise and return to the centre, to the sweet spot where you and your audience intersect. When your marking comes from here, everything you do and say will have a resonance of truth and authenticity that your audience will feel in their heart and in their gut.

How do we get to the essence?

By understanding deeply the two components – you and your audience.

That’s what I’ll be talking about in part 2 of this series …