Just over two weeks ago I had emergency surgery due to an ongoing condition I have called Crohn’s. Since my diagnosis over 11 years ago, I’ve managed the condition with medication and the need for surgery wasn’t even raised as a possibility until recently.

It all happened very quickly.

In the days that followed the operation, as I lay in the hospital bed, I got some fresh perspective on an issue that’s been on my mind for quite a while: control.

On being a control freak

Being in control. Staying in control. Not allowing things to get out of control. I’ve been a control freak since I was a kid.

My methods for control centre around information, systems and planning. Faced with a new situation I default into problem-solving mode, gathering the facts and analysing the variables until I come up with an answer, a strategy, something that makes sense of it all and maps out the logical next steps to take.

Finding (or perhaps, more accurately, creating) order gives me a sense of certainty, of safety, of comfort.

However, my journey into mindful business has highlighted, more than ever before, the downsides of being a control freak.

I’ve come to recognise when I’m stuck in analysis paralysis – unable to discern the ‘one right path’ amongst many possibilities, and unable move forward without such certainty. And I’ve seen how following only ’safe paths’ denies me the opportunity to really exercise my creative and intuitive potential.

Which brings me to the hospital bed…

When I realise control is an illusion

It was really hard. Like I said, the surgery happened very quickly and I wasn’t prepared (read: I hadn’t done my usual fact gathering and analysis) for what recovery from a major operation could entail.

I was frustrated I wasn’t getting better ‘fast’ enough (yes, after only a day or two!). And there were a few backward steps along the way that left me feeling desperate – why was this happening to me?

That’s when I realised, in one of those moments of startling clarity, that there was no timetable. No ordered step A, then step B, then step C that I could follow through with certainty of the outcome. Bodies are different, recoveries are different and people are different. And thinking I could ‘control’ anything was truly an illusion. Not just in the hospital bed, but in life.

Thing is, really comprehending this was not as panic-inducing nor depressing as I had previously feared. It was a relief.

Because constant problem-solving can be really tiring

I have to thank a family member for me really getting this. They were calling me in hospital and asking a lot of questions: Why did the doctor think such and such was happening? What could we expect next? Why didn’t they tell me about that two days ago?

My relative wanted me to be better and they wanted to know when that was going to happen. And it was exhausting.

I told them that what I needed was to focus on where I was right now, what I could do (and what help I could accept) right now to take care of me, and not worry about what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow.

Now, that was a moment.

Because I could have said the exact same thing to myself countless times before. Times when I was running my mind ragged trying to anticipate and guard against any problem that might arise in my business or life. Times when obsessing about the ‘why?’ and the ‘what if?’ left me incapable of actually doing what I needed to do – for me and my business.

And not problem-solving can be incredibly freeing

The amazing thing was that as I began to recover, in the spaciousness of not controlling and not managing and not planning, all sorts of ideas occurred to me. Things I wanted to do, to write about, to bring into my business. And it was light and fun and filled with energy.

It’s a slippery realisation, one that’s hard to hold onto as I move back into the day-to-day scheduling that’s absolutely necessary in a business. Because, of course, managing and planning must happen.

But I hope I can remember that ‘controlling’ my world is not just an illusion, it’s a burden I can do without.

smart fresh update: Firstly, there’s a new look coming to smartfreshwriting.com very soon. I’m having a lot of fun working with Sarah J Bray of s.joy studios to make it happen.

Secondly, I’m delighted to have joined the SNOBSpecialists team over at Carlee Potter’s online magazine SNOBS (Social Network for Opportunistic Businesswomen). This article was first published on SNOBS.

Spending regular quality time with ourselves – whether meditating, journalling or simply reflecting on our day – is fairly universally acknowledged as a Good Thing. It makes us happier and healthier. So why isn’t it at the top of our to-do list every day?

When it does make the list, quiet contemplation usually falls in the ‘nice to do but optional if I run out of time’ category. We’ll definitely get to it… right after we’ve sent out those orders, called that promising new client and relaunched the website (not to forget organising dinner for the family and making time to catch up with friends).

When you’re working for yourself, you want to devote your limited time to the activities that most effectively build your business. And, really, isn’t all this naval-gazing a bit of a luxury?

No.

Getting to know yourself really is good for business. In fact, it’s essential if you want to realise your full business potential.

To prove it, here’s five practical reasons you should be adding ‘quality time with me’ to the top of your to-do list.

1. Regularly clearing your mind guarantees clearer thinking and action.

You only need to try it for a week, or even a couple of days, to know it’s true.

Set aside 20 minutes when you first wake up, or just before you go to sleep, to dump all your thoughts into a journal. What went wrong recently? What went right? Have you made any important decisions? What was going through your mind at the time? How are you feeling right now? Did something happen to spark this feeling?

There’s no particular goal to this exercise; you don’t need to try to find ‘big lessons’. Let it flow and let it go. These thoughts are taking head space whether you acknowledge them or not. When you free that space you can refocus on your business with more clarity, and it’s likely that the exercise will reveal opportunities you might have otherwise overlooked.

2. Success requires that everyone pulls in the same direction.

By that, I mean everyone in you.

When making career or business decisions, we often give a lot of attention to external opinions. What will our family think? What is most likely to make us money? What will offer the most security?

In doing so, we may ignore the opinions of those within.

You’re not going to be working at your creative, productive best if part of you is pulling in another direction. You may even subconsciously sabotage your own success by avoiding basic business building activities like marketing and networking.

So, call an open forum in your mind and invite everyone to have their say about the business – uninterrupted and without judgement. You might be surprised by what you learn.

3. Everything works better when you know what works for you.

There is a lot of advice out there on how to start-up and run a successful business. You’re reading some of that advice right now. You’ll find it in print, online, at seminars and sprinkled amongst conversations with family, friends and colleagues.

Try to implement all of it you and you will drive yourself crazy. It won’t do your business much good either. So how do you choose? From marketing to time management, you’ll get the best results when you choose strategies that compliment your strengths and motivate you to keep going. There is no golden right way, there are only ways that work for you and ways that don’t.

If you’re naturally a big picture person but have trouble following through on the day-to-day, then a detailed task tracker could be what you need. If you tend to get obsessed with systems and lose sight of your larger goals, then a simplified vision statement and to-do list might help you stay on target.

When you know yourself, and what works for you, you’ll be much more effective choosing and implementing strategies for your business.

4. Knowing your strengths means knowing when and how to ask for help.

We’ve all heard that delegation and / or outsourcing are the keys to scaling our business. But which parts do we delegate? Once again, what’s right for one person will not be right for another. Know what you love to do, and what you do well, and hire people to compliment your abilities.

The bonus is that when you understand how you work best, you’ll do a better job of selecting and briefing service providers. Also great for business.

5. Being you saves time, effort and money.

When you know yourself, and when your business and the way you work is aligned with who you are, you save yourself time and energy in every aspect of your day.

You don’t have to pull on your ‘business’ mask each morning. (Isn’t that why so many us left our day jobs in the first place?) You can meet contacts and clients as you are, and speak with confidence about the value of what you do.

As a website copywriter I know that when an entrepreneur has a strong sense of her own voice, and its relationship to the business, we’re in a much better position to develop a compelling message that connects with potential clients. People can sense when you are genuinely engaged by your work, and this translates surprisingly effortlessly across all your business activities.

So, now you’ve got five good business reasons to make time to get to know yourself. Are you going to be making some changes to your to-do list? Or have you already been reaping the business benefits of quality ‘me time’?

Let me know in the comments…

When I sat down to write this post today, I got stuck. I had a long list of ideas to write about – thoughts I wanted to share about mindful entrepreneurship, non-sleazy marketing and surviving the solopreneur life.

But none of them seemed enough.

Because none of the things I wanted to talk about offered up a neat list of how-tos for all occasions, nor did they conclude with a beribboned package of perfect answers.

Which might be fine if I were writing for a personal blog about my cats, but I’m writing as a business person who works with other businesses. That being the case, shouldn’t I be building an aura of expertness? Shouldn’t I be a know-it-all?

Thing is, I don’t know everything.

(Gulp, did I just type that?!)

Actually, no-one knows everything.

So, why do so many mindful entrepreneurs feel compelled to pretend that they do have all the answers, or that their product is the miracle fix? Even when it makes them feel like a fake?

Admitting what I don’t know: the first (and quite popular) bit

Actually admitting what we don’t know isn’t a new idea – marketing types have been talking about it for a while now – it’s called niche marketing.

You say, “I do this service really well for these people. If you want that service for those people, well I don’t know so much about that.” For bonus points you can refer them to someone who does know a lot about whatever they want.

Everyone is happy:

• Consumers are smart enough to know that one size does not fit all. They want services and products that are (as far as possible) specialised for their particular needs.
• This is good for small businesses too, because we can concentrate on doing whatever we do best, for the people we do it best for – our niche market – rather than trying to do everything for everyone, which is impossible.
• And it’s great for marketing because you can focus on finding and connecting with a smaller group of people, and talking to them with passion about a thing that can really help them specifically.

But isn’t a niche just a loophole in the expert game? Because, within your niche, don’t you still have to be a know-it-all?

Admitting what I don’t know: the more contentious bits

How about admitting…

I don’t know everything there is to know, even within my niche

This really shouldn’t be that contentious.

Whatever you do, whatever advice you give, or systems you create, or widget you make – isn’t there always an opportunity to learn more; adapt to changing needs, markets, methodologies, technologies; do it better?

Of course I know a lot – wouldn’t be doing it otherwise – but do I think I can’t learn from others (and they from me for that matter) or from experience? No.

It seems ridiculous to answer any other way (god complex anyone?). We know it and our clients know it. Yet, there is some weirdness around acknowledging it.

Let’s see, would you prefer a doctor who believed she knew everything she needed to know, or one who believed there was always more to learn and actively sought out new research and treatments?

How about admitting…

What I know isn’t enough on its own – your knowledge is important too

Particularly in service businesses, particularly when you are solving a problem, discounting the value of the client’s knowledge is either foolhardy (if you truly think it’s irrelevant) or disingenuous (if you use it whilst allowing them to believe it’s irrelevant).

What about the mechanic who won’t listen to your explanation of the problem, they tell you to, “just leave it with me.” Because they’re sure they can work it out better on their own. (That’s foolhardy from both fixing-the-car and having-satisfied-customers perspectives.)

As a relationship copywriter, the experience and knowledge of my clients (of their product and their customers) is as important to the process as I am. How could this be if I had all the answers? I help people uncover the essence of their business, clarify and communicate it – I don’t magic it from my bag of know-it-all tricks.

But, why admit I don’t know everything?

Because, unless you have a stupendous ego, being a know-it-all creates a lot of pressure.

The kind of pressure that prevents you from genuinely engaging with people, and doing your best work, and writing blog posts, and any number of things that grow your business.

Because a lot of people actually appreciate honesty about being human, learning from experience, and working out better ways to do what you do. It may even inspire them to become a loyal customer.

Take the personal destuckifier (and her duck) who talks about feeling like dirt.
Or the making-space-to-shine goddess who talks about being overwhelmed and exhausted.
Or the time management coach who talks about struggling with the urge to lurch from one to-do to the next.

Because nobody likes a know-it-all. But everyone wants a know-a-lot who is willing and able to work with them.

And that’s not just for touchy-feely woo-woo type services (yes, I believe that is the official industry description). That goes for marketers and plumbers and brain surgeons. Yes, we want professionals who know their stuff. We also want professionals who respect our input (just as we respect their expertise) and who realise that, in many cases, combining the two can actually produce a better outcome.

If I’m not a know-it-all, will people still hire me?

Oh, I hope so.

Seriously, of course you need to demonstrate your expertise and knowledge. That’s a given. But I don’t believe that knowing it all (or claiming to know it all) is necessary to demonstrating expertise.

To take a rather zen turn, I believe true professionals are constantly finding new ways to deepen their understanding. They are always learning. And doing so openly, while also doing a great job, is the best way to demonstrate expertise.

Plus, there are all the factors other than expertise that influence people when they are deciding whether or not to hire you… but this post is long enough.

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So, you tell me, is giving up on being a know-it-all a bad idea for business?

It drives me crazy that so many mindful entrepreneurs and service businesses have been lead to believe copywriting comes down to this choice: you can be honest and yourself and most likely struggle to make sales OR you can use high pressure hype and sleazy sales tricks to make lots of money (even if it makes you feel dirty in the process).

What is it with extremes?

A lot of online copywriters talk about ‘hot button phrases that make people buy’, ‘insanely hypnotic copy customers can’t resist’ and ‘ripping competitors apart’. It’s highly emotional, aggressive and strangely impersonal language that’s reflected in the copy itself.

If that doesn’t sit well with your business approach they’ll tell you to ‘get some balls’ and ‘get in the game’ (yes, it tends to be male-oriented as well).

When this is presented as the only way for marketing communication, it’s no surprise mindful entrepreneurs run to the other extreme. Copywriting becomes synonymous with manipulation, exaggeration and exploitation, and you don’t want to have anything to do with it.

You focus on being yourself and hope it will be enough.

Then, when sales are slow, there’s that nagging feeling that maybe, if you want to put food on the table, you’re going to have to ‘get some balls’ after all…

A case study in extremes

A friend is selling a very useful and inexpensive ebook. She has a website that gives plenty of helpful, free information and a specific sales page for her ebook which explains who will benefit most from its content etc.

When I last spoke to her she was talking about setting up a ‘yellow highlighter sales pages’ (with insanely hypnotic copy and lots of exclamation marks) because her marketing pals were telling her this was the way to ’skyrocket’ her income. She was willing to give it a try, but was so embarrassed by the idea she was going it set it up under a pseudonym!

Let’s end this craziness!

If your copy embarrasses you, you’re going to avoid sending people to your site, or you’re going to do it apologetically. Neither is good for business.

Switching to ‘hard sell’ isn’t necessarily going to attract more clients. If your copy is not aligned with your business voice, people notice – it raises their defenses.

Hypnosis only lasts so long. Most businesses grow best with ongoing client relationships built on trust and mutual respect.

Thing is – you don’t have to choose between being human and making sales.

How about feeling good AND making money?

You’re in business because you have something – a product or a service – that you believe other people need. Hopefully, you feel  passionately that what you offer is a Good Thing. And of course, as well as helping people, you would like to make a profit. This allows you to make and do more Good Things.

Your potential customers have a need and they are willing to spend money to have their need met. They want to know if the product or service you offer is a Good Thing and if it is really right for them. They don’t want to be bullied, but they do want you to make it easy for them to make their decision.

So, be honest about your offering and use the best copywriting techniques to make sure you’ve given your potential customer everything they need to make their decision.

Non sleazy copywriting – it exists!

Non sleazy copywriting draws on the essence of your business value and connects directly with the people you can most help. It is informative, engaging and compelling. It inspires confidence and builds trust. Not only does it sell, it keeps your customers coming back for more. Because they don’t feel like you’re constantly selling at them.

I write non sleazy copy for my clients (also known as relationship copywriting) and, I’m happy to say, I’m not the only one beating this drum.

Naomi Dunford (Ittybiz) and Sonia Simone (Remarkable Communication) are a couple of amazing marketing rockstars who long ago ditched corporate to become very successful in their own right and help lots of solo and small business types along the way.

They’ve joined forces to create a new course called Marketing for Nice People. It’s about “business that pays your mortgage and feeds your heart.” It includes lessons on how to market yourself without sounding like a “weird Internet Marketing creep or high-pressure sales-hole.”

Whether or not you have any intention of buying the course, sign-up and get hold of the free stuff they are giving away including a one hour recording on, you guessed it, non-sleazy copywriting.

PS If you’re wondering what happened with my friend…

…the one considering the yellow highlighter sales page? Unsuprisingly, my advice was to stick with something she was proud to put her name on, but consider strengthening the copy and presentation with a more compelling headline (no exclamation marks please) and stronger subheads throughout. Take the best of both worlds and make it yours!

Formal education is primarily about learning rules and boundaries. There are defined containers of information to be digested and then regurgitated within defined assessment parameters. The information even has an expiry date – once the exams are over you can forget it all!

I performed well in my years of formal education and this was, at least in part, because I intuitively grasped the rules. I sensed that certain information was considered to be more important, I was able to strategically reduce the volume of data to be digested, and I applied my creativity to bend what I did know to meet assessment requirements.

Of course, this is all analysis by hindsight. I didn’t think through these steps at the time; it came naturally to me.

More importantly, although this aptitude got me through the system, it has not been enough to get me through my entrepreneurial journey.

Newsflash: business is not school

A job is not school either. Yet, in most jobs where you are not the person in charge (and even when you are), there are still rules and boundaries. Any work you produce, or solution you devise, is created and judged within the accepted processes of that particular company. There is a safety net around the acquisition and application of new ideas.

Entrepreneurship demands more space around, yet also tighter focus on, almost every aspect of life and work. You must be mindful of what you do, who you are, and what you give to the world. Old boundaries (and safety nets) are stripped away as you are challenged to apply all your internal and external resources, in any way you can imagine, to produce something of value.

I’ve found this spaciousness both thrilling and overwhelming.

Overwhelming because, compared to my formal education and even my subsequent corporate career, it now seems the container of information I am required to digest encompasses the globe, and the assessment is undefined and unending. The old tools don’t always work, so I’ve had to learn a new way of learning.

Entrepreneurial learning: expanding the learning toolbox

The tools I carry from my formal education still serve me well in many situations. They help me analyse, summarise, plan, execute, recognise patterns, and apply known principles to new situations. But they aren’t always sufficient when dealing with the evolving nature of entrepreneurial learning.

Here are five additional learning capabilities I have come to see as integral to my success as an entrepreneur.

Take action

Don’t wait until you know everything you think you’ll need to know. (Hint: that time will never come.) Take action. Learn. Take action again. Learn some more. Repeat.

Be patient

Sometimes (often) you’ll feel like you’re back at the same place you were last week, last month or last year. Learning the same lesson over again. Don’t be hard on yourself. Each time around you add to your knowledge. It’s more like a spiral than a circle – you may feel like it’s the same place but you have definitely moved.

Be soft-minded

I couldn’t think of a better way to describe this! It’s more than open-minded. Allow your mind to be like a cloud (at least part of the time) with all your knowledge, experience, ideas and daydreams floating within. Let them bump into each other and form new connections.

Be present

Every breath is an opportunity to learn. Pay attention to what is happening around you and within you. Let go of future and results. Concentrate on what this moment can teach you.

Be humble

Each person has a unique perspective. It’s easy to listen to those whose views you share; take time to listen to people who have a different outlook. Even (especially) if you think they’re an arse, look for something you can take away from the conversation.

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Has entrepreneurship (in business or in life) changed how you learn? What’s the best way you know to learn more about business? Tell me more in the comments!

A couple of weeks ago I participated in a panel session at the Brisbane Ideas Festival – a five-day festival of ideas, innovation and invention.

The one hour session, titled Creative Entrepreneurship: The Artists of Commerce, generated some great ideas around what it means to be a creative and mindful entrepreneur, touching on many of the issues I’ll be talking about here in the coming months.

So this post is serving double duty as a selective summary of the session and a taste of what to expect from notes on mindful entrepreneurship.

Introducing the artists of commerce

I loved the title of the session so much I thought it was worth repeating – it says a lot about who we are and what we do…

Michael Doneman (Founder, Edgeware Creative Entrepreneurship) chaired the panel which included:

• Jane Ryder – Freelance photographer from Townsville specialising in portraiture.
• Mike Boyd – Founder of Coolybar Keg Hire (at age 19) and now also QLD Director of The Hive (not-for-profit networking group that connects entrepreneurs) and Business Analyst at a Brisbane-based consulting firm.
• Ron Crump – Principal of Human Productivity Consultants, with a long resume of corporate consultancy achievements.
• Natalie Duncan – Founder of Qld Film Locations.
• and of course me!

Between the five panellists and the chair we had a representative from each decade from age 19 to 60-something. The age range was created deliberately to guarantee alternative perspectives, but what struck me most was how similar our views were as creative and mindful entrepreneurs.

Starting thoughts…

As I mentioned, this is a mashup of the themes I drew from the discussion, and my ideas of what we’ll be talking about in this notebook in the future.

Because the session involved free flowing discussion between the panellists and our very enthusiastic and interactive audience (the small theatre was full), I can’t give proper attributions to individuals for their contribution. But I will say that all the panellists, and every audience member who offered a comment or question, added a great deal to the conversation.

Why do we do it? Why be a weirdo?

There’s a lot to lose when you go into business for yourself, and the big financial successes like Richard Branson are in the minority, so why do we do it? Most entrepreneurs are not chasing the big bucks (you could probably make as much for less stress in an office job), they are choosing a path that gives them freedom and meaning. This path is different from the social norm. It is a creative choice, and it often marks entrepreneurs as weirdoes.

Creativity is not only to do with the arts.

Creative entrepreneurs are creative makers of enterprise. They use their creative ideas to create novel goods and services that have value, usually financial value but sometimes social or cultural value.

Creativity is not just about arts and crafts, nor is it measured only by ‘big ideas’. It is buried in everyday choices (aka innovation) such as how you choose to interact with your customers or how you market your business when you have no cash flow. It is about knowing your creative potential and making conscious choices to it in your work. This is an inherently mindful process.

Rejecting external judgements, definitions and rules.

People can become caught up in models and definitions. Are you creating a business that is financially and creatively independent and can be sold? Are you building an enterprise which is your life and can encompass many commercial and non-commercial activities? Are you creating a job for yourself that is no different to working for someone else?

Creative entrepreneurship is an expression of the individual. The framework and the measure of its success is defined by the individual. For this reason, it is difficult to copy the entrepreneurial success of another. You must find your own path.

Business is life and life is business.

Some people want to work for themselves to have better work-life balance, but anyone who’s taken the leap can tell you there is no work-life balance in entrepreneurship! When you’re an entrepreneur, thinking about what you want, what’s working and what’s not, and what’s your next step, is a 24/7 occupation (some would say obsession).

But for us, this is fun (most of the time). We do it because it is a challenge, and there can be fantastic satisfaction in enduring, overcoming, discovering, learning, and doing it all on our own terms. It is an experiment in life itself.

The secret is: there is no risk.

Entrepreneurs aren’t gamblers. They take calculated risks. To an entrepreneur the biggest risk is reaching the end of their lives, realising they never tried and wondering what could have been. If you have a passion and a dream, then not following it means losing a part of yourself, or at least the opportunity to know a part of yourself.

Entrepreneurs believe that when you follow your passion, whatever the outcome, you have won because you reap the rewards every day you are doing it. The best part is you can not know all the answers, and still make the leap. Take the first step. Learn from everything. The opportunities will come, will be created, when you take action.

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Whew, what an amazing grab-bag of ideas! There were more, but I think I’ll leave it there with the observation that we definitely have a lot to talk about around here. I hope you’ll join the conversation by leaving a comment…