Raw Cool...Black is the new Blog....

And I Say Goodbye

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 23:17:00 +0000

Raw Cool ~ Started January 19th 2008

Ending ~ January 8th 2010

356 posts.
60 Followers give or take.

So, its time. I have been neglecting this blog and we all know it. What I originally set out to do, I did. I have nothing more to say here. My running blog is the blog I will be concentrating on and you are all more than welcome to come by.

Runnin" Down A Dream

I love you all. You've been rock stars and supportive. I truly appreciate each and every one of you.

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

“Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.”

“Happy trails to you, until we meet again.

“Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.”

Ringing Of The Bells

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:46:00 +0000

Wanna ring my bells?

Come on, I know you do!!

Happy Hanukkah

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:28:00 +0000

It's the Festival of Lights.

Hanukkah, also known as the Festival of Lights, is an eight-day Jewish holiday commemorating the rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem at the time of the Maccabean Revolt of the 2nd century BCE. Hanukkah is observed for eight nights,

The festival is observed by the kindling of the lights of a special candelabrum, the nine-branched Menorah one additional light on each night of the holiday, progressing to eight on the final night. An extra light called a shamash (Hebrew: "guard" or "servant") is also lit each night for the purpose of lighting the others, and is given a distinct location, usually above or below the rest. The "shamash" symbolically supplies light that may be used for some secular purpose.

Holidays are what they come to represent and not what really happened... this is universally true. The story of Hanukkah is about the miracle of light lasting in a dark time... that's what it means to me The lesson is what we make it... this is also universally true.

Spinach & Cupcakes

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 00:56:00 +0000

Hey, its all I got. Dude, I am trying to reach 1000 running miles. Leave me alone.

Accepting full responsibility for every little thing in your life, Michelle, is what opens the floodgates to joy and power.

Or to what we here call "joypower."
Every little thing,
The Universe

Wanna Go Kayaking?

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:08:00 +0000

Kayaking Metlako Falls - Headcam from Dave Hoffman on Vimeo.

I broke my helmet, I'm bleeding, but that was fucking awesome!!!

First Day Of My Life

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 18:57:00 +0000

This is the first day of my life
I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go

And so I thought I’d let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home

Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up
And you said “this is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy”

So if you want to be with me
With these things there’s no telling
We just have to wait and see
But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery
Besides maybe this time is different
I mean I really think you like me

I always try to live as if each day if the first day and the only day of my life. Ok, well not quite that dramatic but come on, you know you have to make the best of each day right? Make it special. Do something fun. Even if your idea of fun is cleaning the bathroom, then go for it.

I am so proud of so many folks. There is one beautiful girlie in particular that I never talk about and I cannot reveal her info here, but let's just say, she makes me look weak. She is strong and stunningly gorgeous and not healthy but you would never know it. Her attitude is this:
I want to wake up every morning proud of myself for not just getting through this time in my life, but for finding a reason to enjoy life every day, to let laughter burst through my lips so hard I can barely breathe, to smile so much that my face hurts and to dance around on the days when my body seems to be rebelling. Find peace with myself, know who I am in my heart, in my soul and stay true to that. Refuse to let a smaller person belittle me, stand strong for what I believe in, never waiver, never falter...keep pushing through, enjoying every little bump, hill, valley and mountain on the way.

Five years from now, when I look back at this time, I want to be proud of what I did, of who I became. That's all I want for Christmas.

That and some new warm socks! MY TOES ARE FREEZING! I love you all, I miss you all, and I hope all of you are having a glorious December.

I love her so very much and what she wishes and wants for herself, I want for her 1000X more!!!

What are some of your wishes and hopes for this Christmas and beyond into 2010? Do tell!

Glee Ful

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 23:40:00 +0000

Anybody watch this show? I am just starting to watch it and I am really digging it. Granted, it is a show about highskool kids and I am far removed from that scene, but the show is fun to watch. Lots of music and fun stuff. Plus, that teacher Will Schuester AKA Matthew Morrison is kinda hawt!!

It's not everyday you get to view a funny ~ interesting ~ highskool drama with the tag line A biting comedy for the underdog in all of us.

I am an underdog and so are you so go watch an episode or three and let me know what you think!

"That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!"

I Want Your Ugly

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 21:19:00 +0000

I always thought I was awesome, but this says it perfectly.

Today was a kick ass run for me. I ran my butt off to try to run a sub 29 5k. I booked it. I was flying. My legs were turning over as fast as I could possibly make them. And I hit 5k in 29 minutes exactly. 1 second. Just one fucking second.

You live and you learn. Right?

So, holiday season is in full explosive gear now. NYC is teeming with tourists. It's kinda annoying actually. But, at the same time I love it all.

It's like having a bad romance or something:

Fat Man Sitting

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 23:53:00 +0000

I don't know about you, but if that was me sitting next to this man, I would have nicely asked to be moved. I am not judging, I am just looking at this from a safety point of view. Dude sitting next to him is looking a bit nervous don't you think?

What would you do?? Come on, be honest!

"It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like “What about lunch?"

The Shade Of Poison Trees

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:43:00 +0000

If you knew,
What I know,
Would you try?
Before your time
Has run on you
And worn you down

Would you know,
What you desire,
In your heart?

So these are my VFF's. My Vibram Five Fingers KSO's which means Keep Stuff Out. I like to say Keep Shit Out though. I run in them about once a week about 3 miles at a time. They are awesome. I really dig running in them because you are basically running barefoot and I am sure you all remember way back when, when you were kids running free. Yeah, it's like that only now I am not a kid bur a runner trying to find some balance and fun to keep it all interesting. Check them out here VFF's

Thanksgiving was awesome. Just my family. That's all I needed this year. And a great stat about my running. I hit 100 mile months 4 times this year. August was 125 miles. How cool is that?

Usually, Michelle, the wiser you are, the easier life gets.

But then, the happier you are, the less you need easy, the faster you can run, and the higher you can jump.
Go for happy,
The Universe

Peace out.

It's The First Of The Month

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 20:20:00 +0000

Bone Thugs-N-Harmony- First of the Month
Wake up, wake up, wake up it's the 1st of the month
To get up, get up, get up so cash your checks and get up

What up yo? You all doing good? I've been all buzy and shit and my blog is paying the price BUT I have decided to try this. I will try to write a post every single day of December!! Can I do it? Whatcha think?

What better way to start December than with a survey!! Steal it if you want to I didn't make it up yo!

Just pick the first word that you think of when you associate yourself with that category. Don't overthink it.

If I was a/an ___runner__, I'd be ___epic___

TV show: Dexter
Song: All these things I've done ~ The Killers
Movie: Garden State
Book: Born to Run by Chris McDougall
Fictional character: Hank Moody
City: New York Fuck yeah
Verb: Eat
Color: orange
Animal: gazelle
Emotion: frustrated
Article of clothing: running gloves
Flavor: sweet
Food: lasagna
Vice: icecream
Plant: kiwi tree
Mythological animal: hobbit
Letter: X
Inanimate object: ipod
School Activity: cooking
Positive attribute: loving
Negative attribute: needy

Now you go.

Empire State Of Mind

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:17:00 +0000

New York
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There's nothin' you can't do
Now you're in New York
These streets will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Let's hear it for New York, New York,
New York

Wow, its been a while. 16 days to be precise. Missed me? Ok, calm down, I'm back.

But, I got the crap that is going around called H1N1. OINK ~ OINK! Or should I say, it's got me. I feel crappy and haven't been able to run. This makes me bonkers. So I am feeling like a crappy ass bonker lady with fever taking some shit call Tamiflu which will probably rip up my tummy, rendering me unable to eat. It's all good though, because I am now able to experience what is known as the phenomenon of daytime and crappy mindless TV both of which are incredibly boring and dull.

Give me Dexter and Mad Men with of course 30 Rock thrown in and I am good to go. But, please don't give me Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew or Ace of Cakes. Please. I beg of you. This shit is awful television which I suppose is why its so good.

I am usually very good at keeping busy, but when H1N1 has you, you kinda feel like zoning out for a while, popping back in for food and supplies. I have a great supply of Purell w/aloe and Clorox Disinfecting Wipes disinfect anytime and anywhere.* Pre-moistened with cleaners and disinfectants, these handy household wipes are ready to use. Just wipe and let sit for 30 seconds to sanitize or 4 minutes to disinfect.* Then toss and you're done.

How the fuck do they know that in 4 minutes precisely everything will be disinfected. I should really just wipe my entire body with Clorox Disinfecting Wipes wait 4 minutes and I should be good to go. No more Tamiflu that I spent way to much money on.

Raw Cool pre H1N1 but I'm thinking its lurking at this point. Remember how I detest lurkers? Well damn you H1N1 for lurking. So, the weather outside is frightful and I think by Sunday the weather should be awesome, so I may try to go for a run. I have been accepted into the Brooks Inspire Daily Program and I am very much excited about this. Essentially, I will be an ambassador for Brooks in my running community. More, when I know more.

Anybody know anything about Google Wave? I don't, yet I have been invited to join and of course, I joined. That is the way I roll. You invite me and I'm there. So, now contemplate that. I am always available for a good dinner with drinks or without. I'm easy. Something with pork belly perhaps? I heard pork belly is tasty. And I am all about the taste. Pumpkin ale too. Major props to any beer brewery that makes a good pumpkin ale. Seasoned with some nutmeg, cinnamon you know all that good stuff. I'm just saying.

In keeping with my ADD rattled brain and ADD rattled blog postings I will move on.

The year 2009 is coming to a fast and rapid close. I am happy about that because in the year of 2009 I broke my toe and some other shit happened that I didn't like. So, 2010 HOLLA!!!

See that right there? That right there is the secret to life. Eat one or two ~ doesn't have to say 26.2. But, just eat one and all of life's mysteries will be solved. HOLLA!

"You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."

Repeated frustrations and disappointments, Michelle, are always a reflection of repeated misunderstandings and presumptions.
Oh, darn -
The Universe

October 27, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:11:00 +0000

Rawcool as a newborn.

Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu,
Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu,
Happy Birrrrthday Dear Michelle,
Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu!

A few years back, not so long ago, heaven and earth erupted into a major celebration with the news of your impending adventure into this very time and space. You see, someone like Michelle doesn't come along all that often. In fact, there's never been a single one like you, nor is there ever ANY possibility that another will come again. You're an Angel among us. Someone, whose eyes see what no others will EVER see, whose ears hear what no others will EVER hear, and whose perspective and feelings will NEVER, ever be duplicated. Without YOU, the Universe, and ALL THAT IS, would be sadly less than it is.

Quite simply:

You're the kind of person, Michelle,
Who's hard to forget,
A one-in-a-million
To the people you've met.
Your friends are as varied
As the places you go,
And they all want to tell you
In case you don't know:
That you make a big difference
In the lives that you touch,
By taking so little
And giving so much!

Michelle, you are so AWESOME! For your birthday, friends and angels from every corner of the Universe, including buddies you didn't know you had, will be with you to wish you the HAPPIEST of days and an exciting new year in time and space. You won't be alone!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Michelle!

PS - Michelle, this is going to be YOUR year!!

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
~Lucille Ball

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

Today, be aware of how you are spending your 1,440 beautiful moments, and spend them wisely.
– Source Unknown

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do." jack kerouac

Happy Birthday to me. I know who I am, and I know I ROCK!!!

“LIVE WITH INTENTION. WALK TO THE EDGE. LISTEN HARD. PRACTICE WELLNESS. PLAY WITH ABANDON. LAUGH. CHOOSE WITH NO REGRET. APPRECIATE YOUR FRIENDS. CONTINUE TO LEARN. DO WHAT YOU LOVE. LIVE AS IF THIS IS ALL THERE IS.”
MARY ANNE RADMACHER

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "WOW! What a ride!"

we cut the legs off of our pants
threw our shoes into the ocean
sit back and wave through the daylight
sit back and wave through the daylight

Our Connected World

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:53:00 +0000

Do you feel connected to me? Do you even want to be? Well, if you twitter or facebook or even read this blog then we are. Connected. Forever, pretty much. If you know my PIN# or my CELL # you can text me and or message me on my Curve. Which is very sexy, by the way. Blackberry pretty much rocks ~ and believe me, I am an APPLE person/nerd, but I am addicted to my Curve.

In a way, its creepy to be so available to the internets. If I poop, the world knows. If I feel depressed the world knows. If I am really happy, the world pretends not to know. Yeah, thats usually the way it happens. Scary.

Oh believe me, I pick and choose whom I let in. It is not as if the entire internets knows what I do and when. Because that would be stalker like. So, who am I? What do I represent here?

Well, at first it was all raw all the time. And I don't mean raw sex or raw naked, I mean raw food. I was so into it that I was blinded to to the amazingness that is cupcakes and pumpkin ale and chili and like real food. And so, little by little I started turning around in a complete circle and started eating cooked food. And I liked it damn it. A lot! Too much maybe, I gained just a bit of weight. Then my running took over. Then I got injured and started biking. Then I liked biking and incorporated that with my running and it all clicked.

Then I started twittering and facebooking and I connected. With a lot of old friends and more importantly, new friends. Runners and eaters and lovers and funny people and sad people and inspiring people and amazing people. To good to be true people.

Now I am connected to the world and the world is somehow connected to me. In a great way.

I am sad that my rawcool blog has fallen by the wayside because I love this blog. I want to keep it going. I want people to read me and know me. I am simply a lover of feeling good and having the best that life offers to me. And I go get it. I seek it out. I enjoy everything I do. And I love everything I do.

I try to be as positive as I can. Even, when I am depressed I am positive. Positivity attracts positive and good people. I am caring, perhaps to a fault but I can't help that. Nor do I want to.

So, look at this cute guy. He is a bit of a zombie isn't he? Woah, good segue huh? Just some thoughts about Halloween. It is COMING!! 13 days from today. I dig Halloween a lot and 4 days before the 31st is my day of birth. YEAH!!

The Light Shines In Darkness:
ET LUX IN TENEBRIS LUCET

This is special to me. For a special lady. Whom I believe, believes that the light does shine even in the very dark of the night. I keep her in my daily thoughts because I love her, and I ask that you do the same. She doesn't deserve what she is going through right now.

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it’s evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don’t you know that you can count me out?

Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right
all right, all right

I do not comprehend a lot of what happens in this world, but I try to deal with it as best as I can. Do you? What do you all do when shit happens and things seem hard?? Do you smile and pretend life is grand? Do you? I do! I am told not to, by WWLLD! She drills it into me to be real. Keep it real. Don't pretend. Ya know.

"Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with *me*! People take one look at me and go Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre! They judge me before they even know me." -- Shrek

Please don't judge me. Get to know me. I am a wonderful person. I am connected to you all in small ways and big ways. I love you all.

Somebody Check My Brain

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 12:01:00 +0000

From Behold the Metatron, where I first discovered the moonlight, to Herrad, where it was given to the metatron, to Celeste who can best explain the moonlight, I have been mesmerized by the moonlight and the way it effects me.

MOONLIGHT

Moonlight in this case represents the glorious brain-sharpening, mood-enhancing experience one feels when reading or seeing something inspirational in other blogs. Something that sets the tone for the rest of your day, puts a smile on your face, stimulates your work, or makes you feels awesome about life. It is not often one feels wonderful. But some days, some blogs do just that.

I want to give “moonlights” to all the special blogs I encounter.

There are no obligations attached to the recognition. But if you feel like it, you can pass it on to whoever has also given you that something special, what in Spanish they call “eso”, or “it”. Whatever “it” is that lifts your spirits and helps you to up your mental game.

I don't pick and choose blogs to give awards to. So, I invite you to take this MOONLIGHT and pass it on.

It is OCTOBER. The month of my birth and my most favorite month of the year. Not so much because it is my birthday month, but more because it is a new season and a change from the never ending humid hotness of summer when everyday is the same day. Autumn brings with it beautiful sunrises and an explosion of colors.

I am a fall junky. I love sweaters, rain, changing leaves, soup and pumpkin bread. Normally, the prospect of fall is dimmed by winter’s promise of cold, dark days, but after the summer we’ve had, I’m not intimidated. I love the crisp cool days where running is not only a pleasure but I crave it more now then ever.

Utter joy. Octoberfest and pumpkin ales, leaves changing colors and then slowly falling down for us to jump into and play. The crispness in the air, the first frost that kills the bugs …. Plus the thought of Thanksgiving and the upcoming holiday season is always anticipatory!

October 4th is Harvest Moon.
Q. What is a harvest moon?
A. Simply put, the harvest moon is the full moon that occurs closest
to the date of the autumn equinox in the Northern Hemisphere.
Some people claim that the harvest moon shines brighter and more golden than during
normal full moons. However, since the time between moonrises on successive nights
is shorter in autumn than at any other time of year, there is very little darkness
between sunset and moonrise.
The continuance of the moonlight after sunset is useful to farmers in northern latitudes,
who are then harvesting their crops. The full moon following the harvest moon, which exhibits
the same phenomena in a lesser degree, is called the hunter's moon. A similar phenomenon
to the harvest moon is observed in southern latitudes at the spring equinox on about March 21.

I dig this shit. It is all so mysterious and far away. It is nature at its finest. And not to sound all geeky or corny I will move on.

I've made peace with a lot of crap in my life and have decided to surround myself with only positivity. I have also decided to be a helper person to my friends. Let me explain. I will be there for whomever needs me. It is the way I roll. It is who I am. I can't pretend to be somebody else can I?

Yikes, somebody check my brain please??

Anybody watch Dexter and Curb your Enthusiasm? Freaking awesome!!! Creepy and hilarious. If you dig watching serial killers and serial killers kill serial killers and if you dig laughing uncontrollably then these shows are for you.

Mad Men ~ What can I say? Never have I seen the 1960's brought to life so vividly. This series is a must see, well written, wacky at times, amazing sets and wardrobe PLUS Jon Hamm. Said to be bringing gentlemen back, I think he needs absolutely no explanation.

And now this:

Ohhhhh if you want to come...
If you want to come over -- Come over and get high
we can listen to The Dark Side of the Moon
If you want to come over -- Come over and get high
we can listen to The Dark Side of the Moon

Charlie Mars ~ fucking hot ~ Mary Louise-Parker ~ fucking hot ~ I would do them both!!! At The Dark Side of the Moon!!!

We find the body difficult to speak,
The face too hard to tear through,
We find that eyes in kissing stammer
And that heaving groins
Babble like idiots.
Sex is an ache of the mouth. The
Squeak our bodies make
When they rub mouths against each other
Trying to talk.
Like silent little children we embrace,
aching together.
And love is emptiness of ear. As cure
We put a face against our ear
And listen to it as we would a shell,
Soothed by it’s roar.
We find the body difficult to speak
Across its wall like strangers.

No deep thoughts… no profound post… just a feeling of contentment and a smile on my face.

I Got A Feeling

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 23:22:00 +0000

That today is going to be a good day!! That today's gonna be a good good day. A feeling that today's gonna be a good day.

Those sorts of days are few and very far between. But, when it's good, you feel it. You know it. You own it.

I am owning a lot of good days, these days. And I dig it.

I'm thinking I don't want to end up like that up there, ya know? Left hanging, not knowing. Just waiting and chilling and hanging. Fuck no. That shit don't fly with me. I want to be in the know. Sort of like this:

A chick who digs reading the NYT and doesn't give a fuck who knows it! That is pure coolness huh? The world is made up of so many different things and this chick wants to know it all. I love that.

Any of you fuckers out there know what I am saying?

Jon Hamm: Good evening, and thank you for looking at us. Tina and I are honored to present the first award this evening.
Tina Fey: But before we do, let’s linger in this magical time at the beginning of the evening where everyone is still a winner, and Seth MacFarlane is only pretty drunk.
Jon Hamm: When I wasn’t busy playing “Mad Men’s” Don Draper last year, I also had the pleasure of appearing as a guest actor on “30 Rock” where I learned that comedy is just drama with less smoking.
Tina Fey: And where I learned that having to kiss the guy who plays Don Draper will make you sweat through your lady blazer.
Jon Hamm: Speaking of lady blazers, the women nominated tonight for Supporting Actress in a Comedy are the finest in their field: smart, funny, beautiful, crazy, big-eyes and pee-wee. Those aren’t adjectives, those are just my nicknames for them.

- 61st Primetime Emmy Awards

Jenna: I’m taking you out to celebrate - a girls’ night! We’ll meet some new people.
Liz: Oh, you mean, like at a discotheque?

Liz Lemon loves to dance ~ BOO-YAH!!

You all know I love Liz Lemon right? She cracks me up and as long as I know WWLLD I am Ok with the world. She is coming back tomorrow ~ it's been a while. I am looking forward to saying hi to Liz Lemon. BOO-YAH!!!

I want to go to there. I want to go to there.

Actually, Michelle, everyone is reasonable.

They just have their own reasons.

And usually it's worth trying to learn what they are to maximize chances of a full-blown, 60's style, psychedelic lovefest. Which is always a good thing.
Groovy you,
The Universe

There are no guarantees. That we know. The best we can do is try.

Fight The Power

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 21:50:00 +0000

1989 the number another summer (get down)
Sound of the funky drummer
Music hittin' your heart cause I know you got sould
(Brothers and sisters hey)
Listen if you're missin' y'all
Swingin' while I'm singin'
Givin' whatcha gettin'
Knowin' what I know
While the Black bands sweatin'
And the rhythm rhymes rollin'
Got to give us what we want
Gotta give us what we need
Our freedom of speech is freedom or death
We got to fight the powers that be
Lemme hear you say
Fight the power

But who? Who can I fight? I am just a little pion in the big world. I am a wuss who gets stepped on left and right.

Today I was brought way back down to reality. Man.
Since I was going to do a speed workout later in the evening I decided to loosen up a bit with a ride. So I rode down the Shore Parkway bike path and stopped at the end for a moment. When I started on my way back home ~ I knew something was wrong. Odd noise I heard. I stopped and looked down ~ back tire FLAT as a pancake.

So, I walked and walked and asked somebody if there was a bike shop nearby. Yes, he said 2 blocks down. So, I get there to the Verrazano Bicycle Shop and Mr. Tomas Kim is the owner. I was all happy to find the shop and walked in with a smile. They told me there was a shard of glass that flattened the tire plus I needed a tube. They fixed it. Then Tomas Kim told me $12. Stupid me left the house with $5 and no metro card. Tomas Kim would not let me leave with my bike. He refused to accept my $5 with my PROMISE that I would come back with the $7. He told me the only way I could take my bike is if I left some sort of COLLATERAL. He asked me to leave my watch with him. My $300 garmin. I said no I don't want to do that. He also told me he is in business for 20 years. Good for him.

Long story short: Luckily my friends father lives 1 mile away from the bike shop. So, I left my bike and ran 1 mile to his house. I was running through the streets of Brooklyn with my bike helmet on my head. When I returned I put the $12 on the desk ~ took his business card and my bike and left the store without looking back.

I know MY BAD that I only took $5 but I am so disappointed. I was almost in tears in that store not being able to take my bike. I thought Help a dude out ya know? But not Mr. Kim. THANKS A LOT TOMAS KIM!!!

I know, he has a business to run ~ I totally get that. I just think a bit differently than other peeps do is all. It was $12. It was really $7.

I want to fight the power because I am a weakling. It is as though I live in a big bubble thinking the world all around me is great. Then the bubble pops open and I am exposed to the real ugly truth. Not all around me is glorious. In fact, probably just the opposite.

I want to fight the power and walk around with my eyes wide open ~ instead of eyes wide shut. I won't change who I am. I will just be way more cautious of others. Not trusting anymore. Can't be. Unless, I retreat back into my bubble land. Maybe!!

I will be an aggressive cyclist. I am taking a course in How to Be a Savvy Cyclist! because if anything, i am savvy!!! I never want to be in the predicament I was in today. I want to be able to do everything on my own. I don't want or need to want help from others.

I am a rebel without a pause. I want to be left alone and I will leave you all alone.
"We find ourselves dancing late/ Like young reprobates/ By the milky light of the mighty moon/ Find someone to nuzzle you/ And waltz from the room."

“ birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth but sadly we don’t speak bird. kurt cobain

normal and abnormal exist together, defining each other.

“ when anything is blocking my head or there’s worry in my life, I just go sit on Mars or something and look back here at Earth. All you can see is this tiny speck. You don’t see the fear. You don’t see the pain. You don’t see thought. It’s just one solid speck. Then nothing really matters. It just doesn’t. heath ledger

YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE.

Pep Talk: You know, you have a lot of power. You can change the course of a person’s day with your words and your actions. Use that power for good. All the goodness you put out there will come back to you in surprising ways. You’ll be rolling in the blessings, which is awesome, because you’re loved and you deserve only the best things.

Today remind yourself: I get what I give.

You Are Just Right: Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

"Joy is the feeling of grinning on the inside." - Melba Colgrove

"Joy is not in things. It's in us." - Richard Wagner

" Live and work but do not forget to play, to have fun in life and really enjoy it." - Eileen Caddy

I just want to fight the fucking power. Yeah, that is me talking. I am a rebel without a pause. So take that YO!

It's A Beautiful World

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 20:20:00 +0000

The children outside all are laughing under perfect skies
The shapes and patterns in this season make me feel alive
I wanna shout it from the roof top and tell the world
That, “I was blind but now I see what’s right in front of me!”
It’s a beautiful world I see, everything looks differently
It’s a beautiful world I see, these moments are changing me?When I look at the sky I see the reason why I know,
When I look out from the window,
The moon and stars shine all their lights down from the heavens
I choir of angels strike a chord and lift their voices
And then we sing out,
“I’ve been lost but now I’ve found what’s right in front of me.”

I was really thinking about what to do for my 9/11 post. I could have went in many different directions here.

The "where I was that day when it happened post". The "how I felt immediately after post". The "thank goodness, I didn't lose anybody close to me post". The "why I thought it happened post". I could go on and on.

But, I decided to go with the "It's a beautiful world post". Think about it. I am here, you are here reading this. That right there makes this world beautiful. I feel so very badly for all the families who have lost loved ones and I feel so very badly for the people who were there and had to endure the horrors of that day. I even have a friend who, while was not at the towers, was in the street and got covered with dust running for her life. And to this day she is not the same. Asthma and just well ya know!

But, think about how beautiful the world has become. In a crazy ass way 9/11 has brought peeps together. More patriotic and caring. More helpful and pensive. More loving and emotional. Just more of everything.

Sure, not everything is hunky Dory or even close to that but still....The people I have met over the years is proof positive that good people exist. And the people that came to help on 9/11 are selfless and beyond special. They didn't think about anything except helping. And saving. And digging. And hugging. And crying.

I did my share of crying, but I also rejoiced when the 1 year anniversary of 9/11 came all too quickly and the powerful connections were brought to life. As our president said "We came together as one people". Thats powerful.

I think that may be all I can conjure up about 9/11. My personal story is everybody's story, I think. My thoughts and prayers to everybody who perished and their families are everybody's thoughts and prayers. Today, we are all one!!

Please keep me in your awesomeness! I am doing this NYC Century Bike Tour 55 mile ride, and while I know I can complete it, I've never done a big group ride, so it makes me a bit anxious. I sure am fit enough and have the stamina. I consider myself an athlete ~ because anybody who runs and bikes and does push ups, sit ups, squats and planks almost daily is an athlete in my book!

Also, I need to address this on my blog. I was told to not write stuff bashing people. Do I do that? I wasn't aware that I was doing that at all. I just tell it like it is. Simple. TRUTHFUL. Simple. EASY!! I don't mince words, I just say what I feel. Bashing? Doubtful!! So, what I wrote stays. You can unfollow me, if it offends you. Your choice. That is what makes life so beautiful. FREEDOM!!

Out beyond ideas of right thinking and wrong thinking is a field. I’ll meet you there… Jalaluddin Rumi
Yeah, that means you, and you and you all the way over there!!!!

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained... Mark Twain
Yeah, try to remember that, or better yet, don't forget!

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness... Martin Luther King, Jr.
Ya think?? I DO!!!

Anyway, I am just a geek in pink.

It's exactly at times like these, Michelle, when the going gets tough, rumors are rampant, and people begin resisting change, that you know things are about to get really, really good.

You always could pick the right time, the right place, and the best jeans.
All eyes are upon you,
The Universe

That's Sabotage

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 17:54:00 +0000

I Can't Stand It I Know You Planned It
I'm Gonna Set It Straight, This Watergate
I Can't Stand Rocking When I'm In Here
Because Your Crystal Ball Ain't So Crystal Clear
So While You Sit Back and Wonder Why
I Got This Fucking Thorn In My Side
Oh My, It's A Mirage
I'm Tellin' Y'all It's Sabotage

So Listen Up 'Cause You Can't Say Nothin'
You'll Shut Me Down With A Push Of Your Button?
But Yo I'm Out And I'm Gone
I'll Tell You Now I Keep It On And On

'Cause What You See You Might Not Get
And We Can Bet So Don't You Get Souped Yet
You're Scheming On A Thing That's A Mirage
I'm Trying To Tell You Now It's Sabotage

I Can't Stand It, I Know You Planned It
But I'm Gonna Set It Straight This Watergate
But I Can't Stand Rockin' When I'm In This Place
Because I Feel Disgrace Because You're All In My Face
But Make No Mistakes And Switch Up My Channel
I'm Buddy Rich When I Fly Off The Handle
What Could It Be, It's A Mirage
You're Scheming On A Thing - That's Sabotage

This friendship is no great loss to me! I find her reasons amusing. I graduated from Jr. High decades ago....
And ~ That's Sabotage.

What the fuck am I dealing with here? I am dealing with backstabbing, beguiling, crafty, cunning, deceiving, deceptive, dishonest, hypocritical, insincere, knavish, dodgy, slick, sly, lying, misleading, shifty, sneaky, tricky, underhanded, untruthful. Yes, every single one of those descriptions.

Why can't people keep it real. Show me your "real" face. Don't switch up your face depending on who you are talking to. Come on!! I may be in Jr. High but I wasn't born yesterday. Why can't people be honest and not change up their stories dependent on who is listening.

I am not perfect, Never said I was and will never claim to be, but if I say one thing to you, I say that exact same thing to the next person. Why say something different? To get attention? To have people sympathize with you?

You know what? It must be me. I am the moron and pathetic gullible person. I am easily duped, like all the time. I am 100% too trusting of people and I like to believe what I am told. And I do believe what I am told.

I am no psychoanalyst but gosh.

What is never told is the good stuff. The good things. The fun things. Just that it is no great loss. That is fine and dandy. It's almost laughable. But, I am not laughing. I am not amused at all.

I am feeling so vulnerable right now. I am open and susceptible to emotional injury. Yes, I admit that. And it upsets me. I can never get things straight. I get all confused and pissed off. I try to hard all the time and it is exhausting to me.

I try to tell people how I feel and do you know what they do? They twist and turn and put it all on me. Reverse psychology.

Rabbit Fire
A well-known example of reverse psychology is the Looney Tunes cartoon Rabbit Fire, where Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck are trying to convince Elmer Fudd it's the hunting season for the other species and not their own. After a back-and-forth with Bugs proclaiming "Duck season!" and Daffy "Wabbit [rabbit] season!", Bugs switches to say "Rabbit season!", to which Daffy begins saying "Duck season!"- even going to far as to exclaim "I say it's duck season, and I say, FIRE!"

I guess I am the one that say's FIRE!!! And I get fired on!!! ME!!

I realize that I vent and write my heart out here, but it is my blog and nobody really reads it anyway. When I feel it, I need to let it go. Running is one way for me to do that, and writing is another way.

Anyway, who gives a shit about all that stuff, when you see this first thing in the morning? Nice barefoot run on the beach. My first time running barefoot. It was freeing and I felt like a child again. Perhaps, a child in Jr. High. Yeah, that's the ticket!

I will pursue more barefoot running, but with the VFF's. I can run barefoot on the boardwalk and I may. But, if I choose to run elsewhere, I need the VFF's.

Running has been incredible lately. More on that in another post. Let's just say I am feeling it and my mojo is there front and center!!

When your awareness expands, you begin to see that which you ignored before.

Exercise is the architect, but recovery is the builder

I'm Mad - But, in a good way.

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 23:34:00 +0000

Onwards from AKQA on Vimeo.

Fills me with glee. I am standing on my head clapping along - doing the happy dance.

I am too cool for school, so I won't go.

It is pretty funny how things always seem to work itself out. I no longer feel any bitterness or frustration - I kinda feel happy.

Unsure, undecided, vague, unclear, unfinished, incomplete, doubtful, unstable, blurred, imprecise, undesignated, unknown, indistinct, indefinite, unresolved, and uncertain.

Yet, I am none of those things. Take what you need and dump the rest.

So am I the only dork enjoying this sensational weather? Running has been euphoric and biking is so pleasurable that I could do it all day long. With a break for cupcakes of course!!

I think the next 4 months will be worthy of some very awesome blog posts here at raw cool. I am aware that I am not giving it my all but I give what I can.

I think I am going to go do some squats now. And not in the toilet either.

“ art for art’s sake does wonderful things to you. It makes you laugh. It makes you cry. It makes you want to take naps and go places wearing funny pants. Doing something just for the hell of it is a wonderful antidote to all the chores and “must-dos” of daily life. nanowrimo

“ now… You are going to tell me your story like you just did. Write it all down. Tell that story over and over. Tell me your sad-assed story all night… When you understand that what you’re telling is just a story. It isn’t happening anymore. When you realize that the story you’re telling is just words, when you can just crumble it up and throw your past in the trashcan, then we’ll figure out who you’re going to be. chuck palahniuk

Alice: But I don’t want to go among mad people.
Chesire Cat: Oh, you can’t help that. We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.
Alice: How do you know I’m mad?
Chesire Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn’t have come here.
Alice: And how do you know that you’re mad?
Cheshire Cat: To begin with, a dog’s not mad. You grant that?
Alice: I suppose so
Chesire Cat: Well, then, you see, a dog growls when it’s angry, and wags its tail when it’s pleased. Now I growl when I’m pleased, and wag my tail when I’m angry. Therefore I’m mad.

We're Going To Be Friends

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 00:15:00 +0000

fall is here, hear the yell
back to school, ring the bell
brand new shoes, walking blues
climb the fence, book and pens
i can tell that we are gonna be friends

walk with me, suzy lee
through the park, by the tree
we will rest upon the ground
and look at all the bugs we've found
then safely walk to school
without a sound

well here we are, no one else
we walked to school all by ourselves
there's dirt on our uniforms
from chasing all the ants and worms
we clean up and now it's time to learn

numbers, letters, learn to spell
nouns, and books, and show and tell
at playtime we will throw the ball
back to class, through the hall
teacher marks our height against the wall

and we don't notice any time pass
we don't notice anything
we sit side by side in every class
teacher thinks that i sound funny
but she likes the way you sing

tonight i'll dream while i'm in bed
when sill thoughts go through my head
about the bugs and alphabet
and when i wake tomorrow i'll bet
that you and i will walk together again
cause i can tell that we
are going to be friends

It's fitting isn't it? Labor day is almost here and that marks the unofficial end of summer and the beginning of school and reuniting with old and dear friends. I, myself am not starting school but I look upon this time of year as a sort of new beginning. A purging if you will of all the shit I obtained during the summer.

I'm talking all the running shit - all the frustrating stuff I bring upon myself. I hold it all in and build walls that can really make me nuts. Picture running a marathon and hitting the proverbial wall at mile 20. You know what you have to do to get the job done, but that darn wall is holding you back. So, what do you do? Push on. Say fuck you wall and knock that sucka down.

Anyway, I really love this tune. Here is my take on it.

Two buddies going through school and remaining tight friends and being there for each other. Perhaps, that is a simplified version of what Jack White meant, I really don't know. "I can't believe the power that's expressed in these words. It completely captures the innocence of childhood, something I wish I still had. But, I don't.

I become melancholy and so very pensive a lot. I think so deeply about things. Even running, I'm all like dude run faster or you suck. Then I analyze the numbers. Then I dissect the run into smaller pieces and wonder where I went wrong. Then i eat a cupcake.

Cupcakes really heal me. I eat it and taste it and enjoy it and then its gone. But somehow I feel better. Remember when you were a kid and you came home from school all excited for your afternoon snack? Well, I remember that vividly and when I eat a cupcake it takes me back there. Which is why I really dig this song.

It brings me back there.

Maybe to here? Check out that outfit and hair. I think you could tell who the boss was in that relationship huh? By the way, we are not friends anymore. Drifted away. I hate that. I suppose I could look for him on facebook, but I think I rather remember.

I need to start spinning counter-clockwise. Later.

An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind."

Mahatma Gandh

Running Completes Me.

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:41:00 +0000

Collective Soul - RUN

Are these times contagious
Ive never been this bored before
Is this the prize Ive waited for
Now with the hours passing
Theres nothing left here to insure
I long to find a messenger

Have I got a long way to run
Have I got a long way to run
Yeah, I run

Is there a cure among us
From this processed sanity
I weaken with each voice that sings
Now, in this world of purchase
Im going to buy back memories
To awaken some old qualities

A very wise man once said:
We are the messengers--fueled by the message we carry. When the message is of Truth, Beauty and love

No big surprise there.

I have been thinking a great deal about why I run. What pushes me out the door every single day to put one foot in front of the other and run 5 miles? It is so very hard to put into words but I really want to try.

Running is such an integral part of my life. A part of my every day routine. I simply don't feel right if I don't run. And by right, I mean I don't feel complete. There are things each of us do daily, and for me running is one of the daily things that I do. Is it a need? Perhaps? But, it is also a want.

I won't go into the obvious health reasons for running because we all know that already. Right? Not only physical but emotionally. The serotonin levels increase and anxiety and depression lessen. It's not rocket science. It's proven. Studies have been done. And I don't know about you runners, but after a particularly hard run, I am spent, sweaty, breathing hard, cursing why the fuck do I do this but I thank my lucky stars that I do indeed "run". It's a gift to me. And I take it.

I take from running what I give to running. Let me explain. I give it my all every day. I give as much as I can, and even when I feel I cannot, I still go out there. I give and I give. But, running has given back to me so so much more.

I feel incredible. I feel strong both physically and emotionally. I am no Kara Goucher nor will I ever be, but I am my own person who enjoys the sport of running. It gives me tremendous confidence. I am a much better person as a runner. I think I am very motivating and supportive to my running peers. I love to learn and I love to help out when I can.

I have lost weight because of running. Sure, I need to lose more weight but I am trying. I am trying every day to eat healthier even if I screw up and have a cupcake now and again. I don't mind because I enjoy those cupcakes.

I have met the most incredible friends through running. Long lasting friends. My running buddies up on my boardwalk are 20 year friendships. And every day that I run with them is like the first day. We never run out of things to talk about. We laugh, we cry and most importantly, we run.

My best running buddy is a man named Ted. . I am not that certain I want to say too much, this man is, besides my coach and inspiration, he is my extremely amazing friend. He is there for me 24/7. Always. NO.MATTER.WHAT. Besides, my family I don't think I can say that about too many people in my life. He is greatness personified. And I will leave it at that.

There are others. Many many other peeps. Bloggers, some of whom I've met and this place Daily Mile. . Facebook for runners/bikers/swimmers. Insanely incredible people. Like too good to be true people.

I do realize that at times, I seem obsessed with running. And perhaps, I am. Addicted may be a better word. But, you know what, if I have to be addicted to anything, I choose running. It makes me healthy. It makes me who I am. I don't define myself as a runner. But I do run. It is my passion. My lifetime passion.

The running community are a pretty awesome group. Honestly, I have never met a runner I did not like. And that is the truth. After the Brooklyn Half Marathon, a group of us went out for some food, my sister came along and she told me afterwards "WOW, what cool people you all are". Now, my awesome sister is doing the C25K running program. . When, she told me she was doing this, my heart leapt with joy. When she told me she ran for 90 seconds straight I had the biggest grin on my face. I must have looked like an even bigger dork than I already am. No worries, I didn't care. Just being able to share my passion with others, fills me with glee. Sister and I are running a 5K race on labor day weekend. We are doing it together and we will cross that finish line hand in hand.

When I broke my toe in January I was devastated but I knew I would be running again. When I got hit by a car way back in 1995 and shattered my ankle, oh I knew I would be running again. Running can be taken away from me, but I always get it back. Somehow, I just reach for it and it comes back to me. I may be much slower than I was, but I get the job done. I am not a quitter. If I start a race, I do not DNF unless I am injured and simply have to stop or else.

I have goals for the future. More races to be run. More PR's to be set. It will happen. If there is one thing I am positive about, it is running. It is sheer perfection.

Yeah, I run. Won't you join me?

If Today Was Your Last Day.

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 01:08:00 +0000

Nickelback - New Music - More Music Videos

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

What would you do if today was your last day? I sure as heck don't know what I would do. I guess I would look back on all I didn't do and wonder. I would hate to live my last day with regrets. I want to live my last day as if it was my first day. Does that even make any sense to you? It does to me so I guess that is all that counts.

Today, I was told a funny story by my running buddy. Her just turned 2 year old granddaughter knocked on her door at 6am over the weekend and she said, very seriously "I need person please". How cool is that? She is 2 yet she needs a person. She reached out to somebody because she needed something and didn't know where to turn. I laughed when I heard the story but it really made me think. So profound even from a little girl.

From the film Contact in which the alien shares his observations:

You're an interesting species . . . an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone. Only you're not.

See, in all our searching the only thing we found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other.

I just figured out what I would do on my last day. Simple really. I would get two awesome red velvet cupcakes and two really strong french roast cups of coffee and I would invite a friend.

Caring is fucking creepy.

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 20:53:00 +0000

I got the biggest laugh ever yesterday. I laughed and I laughed until I was writhing on the floor, really uncontrollably for about 15 seconds. Yeah, thats all the time I gave it or had time for. See, I have a life.

I detest bloggers who are so uncreative they simply and simply being the key word here, they simply copy and paste other peoples words. I suppose when life is a bore, they need to look elsewhere for ideas. It's ok, I wouldn't except anything more.

But the real question is, why? I believe it is a call for attention of some sort. You know, woah is me....come read the words of another person and be amused. Wanna see the words? Sure, why not!!

Goodness! I have been blocked! Rec'd this email today:

(OH WOAH IS ME - I've been blocked from facebook) Need a kleenex?

i don't know if you've seen but i decided at this time to take you off my facebook as well as me taking me off of your facebook. if you would like an explantation I can provide you with one, but I feel its for the best. It is not as though I have anything to hide, because I never ever write anything personal or private on my facebook. When i see what you write, and I don't click onto your page, I just see it on my homepage, I scratch my head in disbelief. Wondering why you would write for the whole world to see all your personal business. It is odd to me. I just don't want to be reading about all that so I removed you.
I have really done a lot of thinking and I think it is for the best if we cease contact with each other. While I appreciate you asking about my running the half marathon, we really have nothing to say to one another. You have a lot on your plate and I really have no place in your world nor do you in mine. We are just too different and I can't see us having any sort of friendship now or probably ever.
I don't mean to be harsh. I also don't get why the forum people still come and read my blog. That is another thing that baffles me. I left there and people are still interested in what I have to say. With the way I curse on my blog you would think the forum peeps wouldn't want any part of that.
Anyway, I wish you all the best -----. Stay healthy, eat healthy, continue biking or whatever you do for exercise. That guy ----seems to be leading you in the right direction, I guess. Except, you should be able to eat whatever the heck you want to eat.
I am actually doing really great and I am in a good place now.

I'm not upset about this at all. People I have shared this with find it amusing.

Guess what? I feel really uncreative right now.
I'm not upset about this at all. People I have shared this with find it amusing!!!

I guess that's the point of it all.

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:09:00 +0000

“Re-examine all you have been told…Dismiss what hurts your Soul”

Walt Whitman

Amanda Palmer - The Point Of It All
Oh what a noble distiguished collection of fine little friends you have made
hitting the tables without you again no we'll wait no we promise we'll wait
june makes these excellent sewing machines out of common industrial waste
she spends a few months at a time on the couch
but she's safe she wears shades she wears shades
oh but no one can stare at the wall as good as you my baby doll
and you're racist for playing along
you're only human after all
and youre learning that just 'cause they call themselves friends
doesnt mean they'll call
they made the comment and just
but youve got the needle I guess that's the point of it all

Sometimes, endings are just new beginnings.

“ i always wanted a happy ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity. gilda radner

Most times, there aren't happy endings. And today is one of those days. I did what I was thinking about doing for a while and while the finality of it makes me wonder, the new beginning makes me happy!

I think we all know when something in our life is not healthy or good for us. We all know this, but some of us don't ever do anything about it. It takes a strong person to let go of something that was in the present but belongs in the past, where it should really stay for safe keeping.

I suck at saying what needs to be said. I really do. I am a big fucking chicken and I hate that part of me. I am working on it though. There is a lot to be said for honesty and being open and I love people who can be that way with me, so why not return the favor?

I read something on a blog that really upset me, so I want to make sure I end it "well". Enough said.

I realize, I am being very cryptic here and for that I apologize, just know I am doing what needs to be done and I move on.

Whoever is reading this, know that I wish you well. EVERYBODY!!

Anyway, being a crazed ADD blogger, I am on to another topic. Perhaps, you have noticed that the NYC Half Marathon widget on the right side of my blog is no longer there. If not, take a look, you won't see it. It is over. I have run it and finished it. Here are some thoughts:

The song by Eminem – Till I Collapse was going through my mind.
Sometimes you just feel tired.You feel weak. And when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up. But you gotta search within you,gotta find that inner strength and just pull that shit out of you, and get that motivation to not give up, and not be a quiter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.

Ok, it wasn’t quite that dramatic but I am a bit disappointed in myself. I did not quit but I did not reach my goal. It was not for lack of trying, but it was hot and I guess it just wasn’t my day.

My garmin really screwed up on the splits because it says I ran mile 9 in 7.14. Hmmm, maybe I did?

Don’t get me wrong, I have zero regrets with the way I handled myself at the Half Marathon, In fact, quite the contrary. It would have been very easy to say FUCK THIS and walk out of the park into Starbucks and sip on an iced coffee, while watching the rest of the race go by!! But, not once did that cross my mind. All I thought about was getting through the park and out onto Times Square where there was a nice downhill and lots of shade. I was happy when we finally left Central Park and was able to run up 7th Ave Times Square. Lots of spectators and music to keep my mind distracted. Then I thought, if I can just get through mile without thinking about the next mile, everything would fall into place!

I am not one to write a mile by mile race report. Not my style and honestly I don’t remember each mile and how I felt. If I can sum up my feelings I would have to say I really thought I had a shot at sub 2.30 but it quickly became apparent, due to the heat, my goal wasn’t going to be met. So, then I switched my mind set to beating my Brooklyn Half Marathon time of 2.40.18. That too, kinda faded and as that reality hit me, so did my speed or what was left of it.

I trained for this race. I really do not think I could have done much more than I did. Admittedly, I truly believe if this race was run 2 months from now, I would be writing a very different race report. But, then again – who knows really.

I feel good. I am not injured except for a nagging and not new knee/thigh pain – left foot. Each and every race run is a learning experience. There were lots of folks walking and many had slower finishing times due to the heat. I was proud to be running with the best of the best. Running is the only sport where us amateurs can run with the elites. We get the same medals as they do!! SWEET!

Throw your hands in the air!!

All in all a great race that I would love to run again next year. Well organized and fun. But, no massages at the end and no dancing either.
13.1 miles 2.44.47 12.34 min/mile.

“ you can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on. tupac shakur

"Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won’t help."