So, let’s say you’re in south Florida and you grow weary of the mundane day to day affairs so, you seek some spiritual guidance. Somehow, you come across a guy that will help you on your path. Would you draw the line, come to your senses, if said guy told you that you must eat some snail mucus to find the way?

Devotees of a man claiming to practice a traditional African religion said they had to ingest the mucus of a Giant African Snail that sickened them. Federal authorities in January raided the Miami man’s home after receiving complaints. The man has not been criminally charged, but prosecutors and state and federal wildlife agencies are investigating. The Giant African Snail is prohibited in the U.S. without special approval.

Evidently, it isn’t illegal to coax people in to eating snail mucus. So, bring in the fish and game dept. and try to get the guy on a technicality. Giant African Snails are contraband. They’re still investigating so…..who knows? Maybe the guy got rid of the snails. Maybe, he never had the snails. Maybe, he just keeps some mucus on hand. Is Giant African Snail mucus illegal?

All that aside, snail guy isn’t the yob here. The devotees are…

Followers said they got violently ill, losing weight and developing strange lumps in their stomachs.

How much snail mucus does it take to cause that kind of reaction?

I imagine those fellers would be up to the task.

“Pygmy Twylyte” by Frank Zappa.

I’m especially fond of this era with Napoleon, Duke and you got to love Ruth Underwood. Frank was really diggin’ in on guitar too.

As always, retain conceptual continuity and click pause on the music player located in the side bar before playing the YouTube.

I live at the end of a gravel road you know. One day last week, I was coming home and there was a late model Chevy truck headed towards my place. Now, we don’t get many folks coming down the road, especially Okies so, I was pretty curious. Turns out, it was a guy delivering the census form.

Now, a couple of weeks before, I was traveling and listening to some radio call-in show where the host and the callers were yakking about how the census was going to have personal questions, the bureau was compiling personal data and that was unconstitutional and there should be protest etc. So, I was kind of curious about that too.

Anyway, I filled the thing out this morning. Big black letters on the envelope say…

YOUR RESPONSE IS REQUIRED BY LAW

Pretty ominous and serious, no? Ironically, the first question is; How many people were living in your household as of April 1, 2010?

Since it’s only March, I could say anything and it wouldn’t hold up in a court of LAW.

On the personal data, they want your name, phone number (in case they have a question about your answers…hunh!!??) and race.

A little creepy and intrusive but, I’m pretty transparent. I give my name and number to strangers all the time. I’m not trying to be evasive about being a white guy. No big deal.

But, there are a few more things I’m curious about…like…

Why do they send some guy from Oklahoma and pay mileage when there are drummers I know, right here in Stone County, that have taken the test and applied for that very job?

…and…

Why is tax payer $ being spent on sponsoring a stock car?

From the Census Bureau…

The U.S. Census Bureau today officially announced an agreement with Roush Fenway Racing to serve as the primary sponsor of the No. 16 Ford Fusion driven by Greg Biffle for three NASCAR Sprint Cup Series races.

The agreement will see the No. 16 carry a special 2010 Census paint job in Sprint Cup races at Atlanta Motor Speedway on Sunday, March 7; Bristol Motor Speedway on Sunday, March 21; and Martinsville Speedway on Sunday, March 28. To increase awareness and encourage participation among hard-to-count populations living in rural parts of the country in the upcoming 2010 Census, the three-race sponsorship schedule lines up with key census mail-out and mail-back dates.

Oh yeah, those pesky backwoods rural folks and the old “increase awareness” scam.

Which, brings up another curiosity. At the bureau site, I learned that on the last census, 72% of the population responded.

If they didn’t count everybody then, how do they know that?

Bootsy Collins is delving in to higher education.

Bootsy Collins presents the world’s first Funk University for bass players of planet Earth. Construction of this online campus will conclude in June, with the first semester beginning on July 1, 2010.

Because a groove is a terrible thing to waste, this sonic learning institution will be unlike anything before, as Professor Collins and the finest bassists in music will unleash an intense curriculum, on the web, for intermediate to advanced funk disciples within the program. Enrollment is limited for the first year. For more information about the program and to learn about pre-registration opportunities, please provide your information.

I’m sure that Bootsy will provide a well-rounded curriculum including the funkdamentals. Can’t wait to see a diploma.

Bootsy says…

“The best day of my life was when I graduated from P.U., the next best day of my life will be to see students graduate from F.U.”

“Frankenstein” by Marcus Miller.

Yeah, it’s the Edgar Winter tune. Marcus on bass…don’t know who any of the other cats are but, they’re all flat out wailin’!

As always, get modern Prometheus and click pause on the music player located in the side bar before playing the YouTube.

I may have inadvertently stumbled upon an innovation while fixing a bagel a few minutes ago.

Normally, I split the bagel, apply a bit of real butter and broil on a cookie sheet. This time, I had to wash the cookie sheet first. After rinsing, I put the cookie sheet in the oven while there was still a slight bit of water on it.

I buttered the bagel and as I put it the oven, there was steam rising from the cookie sheet and still a little of the water, evenly distributed across the pan. I figured it wouldn’t hurt because they boil bagels to start with.

Anyway, the bagel was magnificent! Buttery and crispy on the tops and the bottoms were nicely browned with an almost glass-like texture and delightfully chewy.

btw-I used a Sara Lee Blueberry Bagel.

Photo is not the actual bagel used, it’s one found at the Sara Lee Foodservice site.

I will try this on purpose next time to see if it works out as well.

I don’t have any romanticism about any part of my past. I think of it only inasmuch as it gave me pleasure or helped me grow psychologically. That is the only thing that interests me about yesterday. I don’t believe in yesterday, by the way. You know I don’t believe in yesterday. I am only interested in what I am doing now.

I’ve been casually observing the Eric Massa fiasco. Seems to me that his media strategy is to portray himself as batshit crazy. And, there is no better way to come off batshit crazy than to appear on Larry King’s show.

This extraordinary little clip demonstrates why Larry King should be officially designated as a National Treasure.

As always, grope around and click pause on the music player located in the side bar before playing the YouTube.

“Talk To Your Daughter” by Snooks Eaglin.

As always, talk it through and click pause on the music player located in the side bar before playing the YouTube.

Nancy Pelosi…

…or…

…Freddy Krueger?