Everyone has been talking about the “tea baggers” this week, so why should I be the only blogger who hasn’t mentioned them.  I have laughed SO much about this!  The phrase, “Teabagging the White House” has had me in tears! LOL  I get this awful mental picture.

For those of you who aren’t privileged enough to know what “teabagging” is…according to Wikipedia:

Teabagging is a slang term for the act of a man placing his scrotum in the mouth^[1] or on or around the face (including the top of the head) of another person, often in a repeated in-and-out motion as in irrumatio. The practice resembles dipping a tea bag into a cup of tea.^[2][3]

Teabagging is also an erotic activity used within the context of BDSM and male dominance, with a dominant man teabagging his submissive partner, either a woman or a man, as one variation of facesitting and/or as a means of inflicting erotic humiliation.

I really enjoyed Rachel Maddow’s coverage of this ordeal! It was hilarious!

I must wonder why a bunch of people who are middle-class in terms of finances, or below…why would they protest the taxes on those who make $250K a year or more? Why are they so upset about something that does not affect them? Are they genuinely upset about getting tax cuts themselves? This is mind-boggling!  Personally, I think they are simply wanting to protest Obama so bad that they are taking up ANY cause to do so.

Oh, and then “Joe the Plumber” gets up at one of these absurd protests and says the most idiotic thing…he says, “Let me give you another extremist view, ‘In God We Trust.’ Say that too loud in some parts of America and you will be shot. It’s terrible.” (credit: Atheist Revolution)

What is with all of these christians claiming they are persecuted?  Christians are the majority in this country, since when is a majority persecuted?!  Not only do we have Joe the Nutjob claiming persecution, we have NOM claiming that if homosexuals are granted equal marriage rights that they will not be able to get married anymore?! WTF?!!?!?  What sort of fucked up logic says: homosexuals + marriage = heterosexual marriage ban

Again….WTF!!!!!

I’m loving this parody of the NOM ad:

Speaking of the National Organization for Marriage…lmao…and how awesome Rachel Maddow is….

Yesterday, I spent a good part of the morning cleaning, and today I washed the bed sheets.  Well, I tried to put the sheets back on the bed this is what I encountered:

She did not appreciate the clean sheets that I was trying to put on the bed. LOL

I remembered a website that I used to frequent a year or so ago…Crackle.com!  I like it primarily for “Penn Says”.  It is Penn Jilette (of Penn & Teller)…he’s an outspoken atheist, and I just love him!  He uses his celebrity status for something good…atheism/freethinking! Ck him out: Penn Says

My parents came by briefly yesterday, they were acting “okay” again…they had to drop off my child after spending the night.  They still treat me like I’m contagious.  Oh well.  My brother also came by later that afternoon, and he treated me like he always does…which is good.

My tattoo artist is working on some designs for me! I’m so excited about this!  One is going to be a fix for some stars that I got this past fall.  There was this local tattoo shop that was attempting to break the world record for most tattoos given in a 24 hour period, and I wanted to be a part (they did break the record too!).  However, my logic did not speak to me loud enough in pointing out that the whole thing is based on speed…not accuracy!  So, I need my real artist (in Shreveport) to fix them.  The other design I have her working on is a half sleeve for my left arm.  I’m very excited about that one!

I have a lot to do this next week, and I’m trying not to think about it too much.  The last few weeks of a semester are so stressful.

For fun…to see what sort of ladies I attract from a pic & a vague online profile I joined a couple of free dating sites online.  I have started getting some hits, but so far…none I’m thrilled about.  It’s fun though.  I do not expect to actually meet anyone that would ever be anything serious…but, like I said…it’s fun.  Lesbians are still typical…even online. LOL  This one chick…we exchanged two emails and she sent me her phone number! I’m like…WHOA!!!! If I email her a few more times I may get a move-in offer! LMAO!!!

This is fun…lol  Am I going to meet someone intelligent & drop-dead gorgeous online? Probably….noooooot…I’m being realistic.  Am I looking for something serious this soon after my breakup? NO!  I’m still in weird ex-girlfriend limbo/hell…where she still wants my input on what she should wear…she still calls to “check-in” when she’s been gone a while…weirdness.  I know one thing, I would not want to date someone in my current situation, that’s for damn sure!  So, I’m going to have some online fun. Am I calling the two email chick?  Um, no.

LMAO!!!!!!

Introduction:

I have been thinking about this idea for a few weeks now.  I want to share what life was like growing up Pentecostal.  I want to paint a vivid picture of what my childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood was like.  Also, I’m going to work in exactly how I came to my current state of atheism.  This is going to be a multiple part series that I will try to do atleast once a week.

Part 1:

First of all, I would like to define precisely which brand of Pentecostal I was. These days the term Pentecostal is used more as an umbrella term for any church that is charismatic in nature.  When I was a kid Pentecostal meant exactly this: one god-trinity was blasphemy, baptism using the phrase “in jesus name”- the only way it is valid, “holy ghost”-this was repenting in public..crying was preferable…at the end of this process you had to “speak in tongues”.  Speaking in tongues-the best way that I can explain this is with the phrase, “emotional orgasm”.  You have several people surrounding you during this process who are steadily coaching you, and chanting this gibberish.  The end result, you are typically drenched in sweat (as this process can take hours), your mouth hurts from trying to speak in tongues, your arms are numb, and in pain from being forced to hold them in the air for the entire time.  So, after suffering for hours desperately trying to avoid the flames of hell (this is why you put yourself through this) you give in and spurt out some well coached gibberish.  Then, and only then…do the people let up, and allow you to relax.  You are met with smiles, and congratulations…and lots of tissues being forced into your hands.  Oh, and you are met with a line of people wanting a hug.

Back to the list of exactly what defined the brand of Pentecostal I was…

Females were restricted to wearing only skirts and/or dresses.  Also, they were not allowed to wear any makeup, or any jewelry.  In some congregations a watch, and maybe a wedding ring was allowed.  Men, on the other hand, were basically not restricted by any means.  Facial hair was frowned upon, but the lack thereof was not strictly enforced.  Also, in many congregations men were scorned for wearing shorts.  Other than that, men had it easy to compared to women.

Both men and women were forbidden to frequent the movie theater, bars, and parties (that were not church sponsored).  Consumption of alcohol was not an option, and in some extreme congregations the use of prescription medications, and doctors were prohibited.  Fortunately, the church we attended did not prohibit medical care.

Oh, and cable television was frowned upon.  The funny thing is that the “holiest” of members would own televisions, but rename them “monitors”, and only watch VHS or DVD on them.  What was ironic or rather stupid, is that they would have very active Blockbuster memberships in which they would rent television series.  Okay, same as cable…minus the commercials. So, commercials were evil?  Well, sometimes I will have to agree, because commercials rake at my nerves! Anyways, my point is that they have rules with loopholes for the “elite” among them.

…end part one…

I headed towards the kitchen this morning intending on cooking myself some breakfast.  See, I was the only one home this morning, so it was up to me when and if I ate breakfast today.  Somehow, I decided to do a few things before starting breakfast…which led to a few more things…which led to cleaning the entire house.  By the time I finally stopped to cook it was noon. However, the house smells a lot better now!  It is tough to keep the place clean when both adults in the house are in college, and the other person…well…is eight years old.  So, the size of the dust bunnies that I swept up would have made Guinness World Book type of record!

It’s beautiful outside today, but my allergies will not permit me to spend another day outdoors.  The past two days I have spent a good portion of the day outside working on the lawn mower.  I’m paying for it today…and cleaning up giant dust bunnies in the house today proooooobably did not help matters, but in the long run it will help my allergies…just not TODAY.

If you have not heard yet…there were two Domino’s employees who thought it was be funny to film themselves putting cheese up their nose, and farting on the Salami of a sandwich that was set to be delivered, and POST IT ON YOU TUBE!!!  Yes, these two Einsteins did not realize the power of social networking, and that in less than 24 hours from the time they posted it they would be shit-canned, and brought up on felony charges for tampering with food.

To add insult to injury, the lady in the video announced (I had a chance to watch the video before it was removed by Domino’s) that both she and the man making the sandwich in the video were GAY.  Now, how was this relevant to what they were doing?  I also wonder if they were planning on the shit hitting the fan, and were simply saying they were gay in order to make gays look unethical.  But if this was their plan (a flawed one, but still we are not dealing with two people who are going to medical school or MIT)…it was not well orchestrated as their fan was smacked with MUCH shit…quickly…and now, they are possibly going to PRISON with “gay” attached to their names for all time.

To read what New York Times had to say about this incidence read:
NYT Article

To see Domino’s official response to the ordeal watch:

Domino’s plans to sue both individuals, so those two have no chance in hell of ever living this down.  Good luck to them in finding future employment….they are going to need all the luck they can find…or new identities when they leave the country.

The sad thing is that both individuals are in their 30’s.  This is something that I would expect out of a teenager, not a thirty-something year old! Sigh…

I suppose I’m going to leave you with…there is no way I can top that news.

Below is the video of a young lady that tried-out for the Youtube symphony, and won a place on the orchestra.  This is one of my favorite classical songs, and she freak’n nails it!  I had to share this!  Also Check out the You Tube Symphony…it’s pretty great!

The You Tube Symphony: http://www.youtube.com/symphony

This past weekend was great, but it had it’s moments.  For instance, Saturday my parents popped over (don’tcha just love those surprise visits?! sigh).  My dad was a awful mood.  Yeah, so this visit was REAL fun…lemme tell ya!  You just have to had been raised by a Marine to know how moody, and how terrible those moods can be to fully understand how bad they are.  Well, they brought my daughter some easter candy, which was fine, but they also brought me this Starbucks teddy bear.  I loved it!  It had a ballcap, a messenger bag, a Tshirt that read, “San Diego” on it, and a pair a cargo shorts!  It looked like me!  Well, my dad could not allow me to be happy about it. Apparently, my mom had purchased it without his knowledge…or atleast he wasn’t paying attention at the time.  He then goes off on this tangent about how they did not buy it from Starbucks, but rather Goodwill (this was not news to me, it said “SAN DIEGO” on the bear’s shirt, and they have NOT been to San Diego).  This did not bother me in the least bit…I am one that believes in it’s the thought that counts…and I know that my mom likes to shop thrift stores, rummage sales, etc.  She loves a bargain.  Ya know, he did not stop at that though…he went on and on how whoever paid full price for it paid too much…they would never pay full price for something like that…this whole five minute thing that made everyone uncomfortable!  My mom was steadily trying to get him to shutup, but he was ignoring her.  He was purposely making sure that I knew that they didn’t spend much money on me.  He was being just terrible.  I thanked my mom for it anyways.

Then, Sunday morning…yes, easter morning…I was checking my email, and I see that I have an email from my dad.  Unfortunately, it was not an apology or explanation of his nasty behavior, but instead…a forward that was in essence one of those “witnessing tracts”.  ya know, those annoying little things that tries to guilt you into attending church.  The subject line read, “Are you ready?” Okay, first of all my parents KNOW not to send me that sh*t.  So, they usually do not…and I hardly ever get forwards (or emails for that matter) from my dad.  So, giving him the benefit of the doubt, I open the attachment…it’s a video.  It was one of those low budget film clips of the “rapture”.  Sigh…

I didn’t even finish watching it, the moment I saw what it was (as I suspected) I deleted it.  Then, it was VERY tempting to hit reply on the email, and let him have it (given his bad behavior the day before).  I practiced much restraint, and simply left well enough alone.

Today, I called my brother simply needing someone to talk about this to.  He was as baffled as I regarding our father’s behavior.  We talked a long time, and towards the end of the conversation…somehow…I came out to him. GULP!!!

Yes, came out as a lesbian…he already knew I was an atheist.

He acted as he always does with shocking news…like it was nothing. LOL  The conversation ended in him telling me to “be me”, and he will always be here for me, wants to always have a relationship with me, and will love me no matter who I am or what I do.  You see, that is the way coming out should be.  Now, will I be able to do this with my parents???  HELL NO!!!!!!!!  But, I have secured my relationship with my brother, and that is enough for me.

I really was not planning on coming out to him on the phone…I don’t know where that came from.  Well, we were talking about my living situation…which led to my ex…er…uh…now roommate.  So, I guess it came up in conversation, but crap…I just called him to vent about our parents. LOL

This month has been terrible, but atleast my brother didn’t flip on me.  Also, I still have a place to live despite having being dumped…and a way to school until I can get a scooter this summer.  So, if I just get through finals here in the next few weeks…I will have survived some rough times recently.

Breathe…Breathe…Breathe…

I follow “After Ellen” on Twitter, and the posted a link to a hilarious article:

http://jezebel.com/5205953/pssst-the-girls-guide-to-lesbian-cliches–stereotypes

I’m going to repost parts of it…with my responses. LOL

__________

Dress Code (Unless The Lesbian Is The Femme)

• Appropriate footwear: Birkenstocks, Airwalks, chucks, Doc Martens or sports sandals. Socks are never optional.  <—-I only wear Airwalks or chucks, lol.  I’m not sure as to whether they mean no socks or always socks, but I cannot go without socks, and that is NOT optional!  Stinky feet are *not* attractive or hygenic! Although, I only wear ankle socks.
  
• Make-up: not allowed. <—True! NO makeup..EVER!
• Undergarments: Bras are frowned upon.<—I’m hoping that after I drop just a bit more weight that I can get away without having to wear my sport’s bra…but notice I did say, SPORT’S BRA! No real bras allowed! lol
• Appropriate tops: flannel, more flannel, folksy prints and Polar fleece.  <— Personally, I don’t do flannel or fleece.  I do T-shirts almost exclusively…and yes, folksy prints! lol
• Appropriate bottoms: jeans, cords, jean shorts or walking shorts.<–walking shorts…year around…yep!
• “Hygiene”: Shaving of armpits or legs is frowned upon.<—well, because I wear shorts year ’round…I do shave my legs. Armpits…negotiable. lol  I know, it’s gross…
• Accessories may include: Nalgene bottles; carabiners; keys at your belt; fanny packs; femme lesbians who only dress girly for the attention or to get a real man.  <—-Okay, I have my share of reusable water bottles…all shapes and sizes…although, none are Nalgene.  I do own a carabiner, it’s on my backpack.  I do not wear my keys on my belt though…I view that as “redneck”…and do not want to appear that way.  Oh, and I think fanny packs are for gay men…not lesbians. Anything that includes the word, “Fanny” is too femme for me. lol

One thing they forgot to mention…underwear!  This is as vital as bras or lack thereof!  I think a lot of lesbians go “commando”, but I have to have *something* between me and the outside environment besides a zipper on the shorts!  I go for men’s boxers…it’s about as good as “commando”, but with security.  Also, they are so fun to own as you can get them with just about any fun print you can imagine!  Definitely do NOT do Victoria’s Secret for undies.  I enjoy seeing those on femme women, but they are not for me to wear…no way…no how!

Lifestyle Attributes

• Appropriate automobiles: Saabs, pickup trucks, Subaru Outbacks, Jeep Wranglers, Xterras, Mini Coopers and Volvos. <—They forgot scooters & motorcycles!  I do love Jeep Wranglers, and have always wanted one!  I almost bought an Xterra once…and I absolutely LOVE Mini Coopers!!  Yes, Volvos are fantastic. pickup trucks…eh…they are useful, but not for me…although i know plenty of lesbians who own them! LOL
• Pop cultural influences: Melissa Etheridge; Ani DiFranco; Indigo Girls; and The L Word. No exceptions. <–Yep. Although, the last season of L Word got STUPID!!!  I felt I needed to wash my brain after that sixth season. Sigh…
• Pets: At least one cat, and preferably more.<–Yes, before I moved in with my now ex…I owned two cats..but she had a dog.  I miss them a great deal!
• Food: Vegetarians preferred<—I was a vegetarian for about six years…I do consider going back occassaionally…it’s just a lot cheaper on the grocery bill!
• Colleges/alma maters: Smith; Bryn Mawr; Mount Holyoke; and Wellesley.<—No, not here.  A typical coed school…but the thought of an all girls (all horny) college…a spectacular fantasy for me! hehehehehe!!!
• Partner choices: Recruiting straight women preferred.<—sounds fun…and again, another great fantasy, but in reality it is a deadend approach to romance, if you “recruited” them…they will go back…hearts will be broken…and breaking up hetero families is OUT OF THE QUESTION! That is dispicable!
• Career choices: P.E. teacher; basketball player; softball player; and professional golfer. <—well, any male dominated career really. You usually do not find lesbian flight attendants (although, you do find gay (men) flight attendants these days), you typically do not find receptionists either for example.

Psychology

• History: Must have been abused.  <—I resent this.  Although, there are cases of this I am not one of them.
• Oedipal Complex: Hatred of fathers, except when they over-identify with them.<—Complicated.  Yes, I over-identify with my dad.
• Childhood Obsessions: Monkeys as pets.<—I don’t recall ever being obsessed with monkeys.
• Adult Obsessions: Hating men.<—not all men.
• Penis Envy: Yes.<—I’m not answering. lol
• Child lust: No. <—eew!  No! The assumption by straight religious bigots that all homosexuals are child molesters is ridiculous! Dispicable!

Sex & Relationships

• Onset of lesbianism: College — until graduation, in some cases.<–perhaps for the experimenter, but I’m a “real” one.
• Conversion: Lesbians can be converted with one internal application of human penis.<—BULLSH*T!!!
• Madonna/Whore Complex: Many are technically virgins, because they’ve never gotten down with a dude.<–Those are called, “Gold Star” lesbians.
• Roles: Every lesbian relationship has a butch and a femme.<—To varying degrees. My ex and I were both “butches”.
• Timing: Lesbians move in together on the second date.<—We do like to get serious…fast. LOL But, “players” exist.
• Sex: Once two lesbians move in together, they will never have sex again. <—not true…no more true than for hetero couples.
• Break Ups: Bunny boiling provides the maximum drama all lesbians require. <—They are bad, but considering I think me & my ex are doing okay given the fact that I’m stuck in her house for a while.

Other things they missed…

• I own a wallet…or if I need to carry more I will carry a messenger bag.
• I love the show Ellen, although I miss it more than I watch it.
• Obsession with Rachel Maddow
• Fingernails can’t grow beyond the quick! lol
• Bisexuals are frowned upon being viewed as wishy-washy traitors. lol
• We LOVE to BBQ!
• We do not mind yard work (including mowing, bulldozing, etc)
• Hair cannot grow beyond the back of the neck…ever!
• A massive collection of “manly” belts
• Wear men’s cologne only
• Plays guitar
• Owns many sleeveless T-shirts (either bought this way or having made them out of old T-shirts)
• Loves beer & hard liqueur
• Smokes or ex-smoker (cigars are a plus)

Wasn’t that fun!?!??! LMAO!!!!

Below is a copy of the letter that will be going with my child to school after spring break. I have removed names, and personal information.
___________________________________________________________________
April 10, 2009

Mrs. ******,
I need to call your attention to something that you may not have realized could be an issue. When I walked into the Spring Break party Friday, the first thing that I noticed was that all the children in the classroom, including my daughter, had a cross necklace. I realize that perhaps one of the parents brought them, as many brought treats for the kids, but something of a religious nature such as a cross necklace cannot be assumed to “okay” with all of the children’s parents in such a manner. Just as it would not be assumed that placing Muslim brochures, Buddhist trinkets, or even antireligious material in their bags to be acceptable to all of the parents of those children, and not expect problems as a result. The necklaces appear to be put together by a student, but of course it is still the parent that is responsible.

********* is being raised in a nonreligious environment at home, as I am an atheist. If and when I discuss religion with her is my decision as her parent, and I will not tolerate religion or religious ideas being pushed on her no matter how subtle, especially in a public school. Public school is a place for science, and established facts. Also, if you want to get right down to it, there is absolutely no justification in that parent handing out cross necklaces being that Easter is not a Christian holiday it is a pagan one (not that if it were a Christian holiday it would justify such action).

I did not want to cause a scene by speaking with you that day, and you were more than busy! Also, to not allow ********** to bring it home would have simply been embarrassing for her in front of her classmates.

As a nonreligious person I already have a battle on my hands with what Bobby Jindal is attempting to accomplish in pushing creationism in the public classroom to be taught alongside evolution. So, I cannot give way to some pushy Christian parent in ********’s classroom.

However, I am a person who enjoys order, and peace. So, I do not want to carry this any further than this letter. I simply desire to let you know that your classroom is not full of the children of Christians. Also, I do realize that being in the south where more than likely 7 out of 10 homes are Christian, you may not be as aware of the minorities that exist. So, I do not aim this letter *at* you (as in something aggressive), but rather more *to* you (as in simply drawing your attention to). I do hope that you see the difference.

In the future, you may get children of many other nonchristian religions, or perhaps more atheists, or agnostics, and will have similar diversity issues, so perhaps this is simply a learning experience. I am a very open person when addressed, so I am more than willing to speak with you if you desire. However, if you wish this letter to be all that is said regarding this I am alright with that.

Mrs. *******, no matter what your religion happens to be I do hope that you can appreciate religious diversity, and do protect the minds of those children while they are in your classroom. Whatever the parents decide to teach the children when at home is their choice, but while you have them in your classroom you have the opportunity to create an open and freethinking environment that does not inadvertently alienate minority groups. This idea is not prevalent in south, so I regard this incident as an opportunity to call attention to it.

You are a fantastic teacher, and ******* has nothing but great things to say about you! Truly great teachers, like doctors, are those with a special gift, or “calling”. You guys have a unique opportunity to shape young minds that perhaps will someday run our country, cure diseases, and change lives all over the world in many different ways. I respect your profession a great deal.

Thank you for hearing me, and like I said I am open to correspondence. You have my cell phone number, but I am in class until 1-2pm each day, so more than likely I will have to return your call if you call me during the day.

Regards,

*****************

_________________________________________________________________

When I walked into the classroom Thursday afternoon, all of the children had one of these…including my child.

Here is the necklace:

cross necklace