tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73643994938973580982011-10-08T02:44:55.308-07:00"What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition." -- AA Big Book, p. 85Practical Addicthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09044749513669805319noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364399493897358098.post-24203904175242510312009-09-23T14:01:00.000-07:002009-09-23T14:29:03.397-07:002009-09-23T14:29:03.397-07:00

I woke up in a happy mood this morning. This has been so for two or three of the last three or four days. I've just been waking up happy, joyous. Briefly.I have a few theories about why this is happening. First, my wife and I made love last night and it was passionate and intimate. It felt good in all the ways I aspire to feel good about sex in my life in recovery. So, that's a factor in

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One of the first tools of recovery I learned in SAA was the Three Second Rule (TSR). The subject recently came up in a meeting, and I've had a chance to think and meditate on it and I'd like to share my thoughts.Ogling or leering at women was a big issue for me when I first got into recovery. Check-out clerks, waitresses, co-workers, movie characters, stage actors, relatives at a family reunion

Practical Addicthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09044749513669805319noreply@blogger.com0http://practicaladdict.blogspot.com/2009/09/three-seconds.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364399493897358098.post-82468840513400562482009-09-09T08:40:00.000-07:002009-09-09T09:04:35.410-07:002009-09-09T09:04:35.410-07:00

I woke up this morning with a message from my Higher Power: the spiritual life is like the field of a magnet. The energy flows out from one end of the magnet into the air, and then curves around and flows back into the other end. The energy isn't held; it flows through. If the magnetic field comes in contact with another conductive object -- like a refrigerator -- the waves of the magnet flow

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The topic of today's meeting was emotional sobriety.The way I picture my emotional sobriety is that I seem very together on the outside, but on the insides I'm feeling like there are monsters at war with heroes. Sometimes I'm the hero, sometimes I'm the monster. Sometimes I'm the frightened villager cowering beneath their massive feet.And that seems real. The quiet everyday-ness of life seems

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The subject of today's meeting was Step Two. Two is key for me, because my Step One was very sincere, a very low bottom. I was disgusted by my behavior and I couldn't stop. Desperate. Step Three was fairly easy for me, because I've always been one to jump on the bandwagon. Very willing. Recovery has been a very good thing to commit to.Step Two is hard, harder for me. I like to entertain

Practical Addicthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09044749513669805319noreply@blogger.com1http://practicaladdict.blogspot.com/2009/08/im-not-doctor-but-i-play-one-in-my-life.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364399493897358098.post-44885172908359236812009-08-26T09:52:00.000-07:002009-08-26T09:56:47.199-07:002009-08-26T09:56:47.199-07:00

This blog finally had a visitor who is neither a close recovery friend or someone looking for fake Confucius quotes. I linked to Confucius quotes once, and now I am apparently a top resource for Consucius quotes on the web.The visitor was a blogger I've been following and apparently she found this blog through her traffic statistics.This inspires me to write again. The completely lack of

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I was driving to work today and I was thinking "I should be thinking this way." The "way" I was hoping to be was some tuned-in Buddhist practice, I suppose. I don't completely remember. What did catch my attention is that I'm constantly thinking that I should be thinking in some other way.Monitoring, monitoring, monitoring. Judging, judging, judging. Where does it let off?I don't think it

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I promised to post again about yesterday. I promised to post again last night, but today will have to do.I didn't stay with my suffering yesterday. About an hour after I wrote the previous post, I opened up my browser and started reading about Iran. I don't live in Iran, I'm not of Iranian descent, I'm not a diplomat, I'm not a politician. But I decided that it was important that I know just

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I woke up this morning really suffering. I was away for the weekend visiting family. It was a good time, but I was really in comparison mode, especially with my younger relatives. They seem so happy, they seem so accomplished. They're on the cusp of doing wonderful things.And I feel like life has passed me by.So, much negative self-talk this morning. I meditate each morning, 20 minutes. On

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I had coffee yesterday with a friend in recovery. He told me that he had a difficult conversation with his partner on Sunday, but that on Monday he felt better and has been feeling good all week. I think that's a parable of recovery.Recovery involves courage and hard work today. It's not something to put off for tomorrow. Courage is nothing more than doing the thing that your fear tells you

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We discussed boundaries at a meeting the other day. It was a good discussion.Boundaries work both ways: they let things in and they let things out. Boundaries protect, but they also allow. Healthy boundaries keep bad things out and let good things in. And maybe they let good things out and keep bad things in?One boundary difficulty I have is that I let negative criticism in too easily and

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Yesterday was one year of continuous abstinence from my bottom-line behaviors. I've had the date in mind of course all year. But I've not been too attentive to it.It passed without notice.I remembered it this morning at the meeting.I'm ambivalent about it. I suppose it's because I don't feel very good these days. Too often I don't feel good. Too often when I do feel good it seems to be

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I was discussing progressive versus immediate spiritual awakening with a friend in recovery the other day. Apparently it's also an issue of enlightenment in Buddhism.Can a person evolve into a different way of being and living? Or does everything happen all at once?Bill W. is the classic lightning-bolt recipient. He had a light-in-the-sky experience and from that point on was in communion with

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I had a spiritual experience Wednesday morning. I was laying in bed before my alarm, or perhaps between snoozes. My feet hurt and I probably had to go to the bathroom. I was aware of the different sensations of my body. I've been practicing this lately in my meditation: just being aware of my body.I was aware of sensations all over my body and I realized that these pains, tightnesses,

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I was home alone this morning, just about to leave for work. I had taken some laundry down to the basement and was passing by the television set. I briefly wondered if we still had the DVD of the movie my wife and I had watched a few days ago. It had a brief scene of nudity.And I thought, "I could look at that again."Fortunately, I was actually moving, walking across the den carpet, when I had

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I've had an unexpectedly bad experience with meditation lately. When I say unexpected, I mean that I expect meditation to make me feel good, serene, you know? I don't expect it open a door to my pain.But that is what it has done.I have a pretty poor record as a meditator. I have a very chatty mind. I'm usually in two modes, I'm either just off in some thought about some something or I'm

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Save yourself some trouble and read these Confucius quotes.There's a lot of recovery there.The one quip that jumps out at me is:By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. Experience is the first course of recovery, the bitter trudge that gets us in the door. Imitation is

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Just got off the phone with a friend in recovery. He's having a hard time with middle circle behaviors, checking out women. At the same time, he shared with me how he is being honest with his partner about this, and that sharing his struggling helps to defang the obsession.That gave me a lot of hope. In the last week I've been very miserable about my job, my creative life and even my service

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Most of the time we spend trying to understand the nature of God -- the way that God works -- is wasted time, at least in my opinion. I shouldn't say that. I should say that it is of very little use to me or to God for me to spend time trying to figure out God. It may be entirely valid for other people with greater knowledge and understanding to contemplate the nature of God. It's just not

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I was walking my dog through the neighborhood yesterday when I was suddenly overwhelmed by a dark, heavy feeling. It seemed to come out of nowhere. It was a feeling of heaviness, like great grief in my chest and stomach and it felt like there was a weight upon my shoulders. The air seemed close and quiet.I can't say I've ever felt like that before.As far as I know, it didn't start from some

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Being a practical addict is sometimes an uphill battle. I want things to make sense. When things don't make sense, I want to reject them. One big obstacle is the concept of a higher power. I've developed a working relationship with my higher power in a practical way that works for me.It's a slow process and it comes down to this: what am I willing to believe today? I have not had a great

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My outlook, my habits, my way of life developed over many years. This did not happen over night. In the case of my addiction, years of selfish and destructive behavior. That is the way I lived. And living like that, that's how I expected to live. The habits became ingrained.Habitual behavior establishes personal inertia. The definition of inertia is the tendency of a body to maintain its

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I've been slowing down lately. Walking slower. I've been driving the speed limit. Part of it has been deliberate and part of it stems from a reduction in the desire to get there and a satisfaction with being "here."The practice reinforces the principle and the principle supports the practice.My native inclination is to lean forward, to have my attention always on the next thing. There's a

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I'd like to share my daily practice and some thoughts about each practice.Morning PracticeEight Pieces of Silk. This is a set of simple Chinese exercises I learned as a young man. The instructor said I would live a healthy life if I did these twice a day. In typical fashion, I do them once a day. Here is a description I found in this PDF from a Google search. The instructions are very

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There are three tests of faith in the 2d Step: faith in a higher power, faith in a process of coming to believe and faith that we can be restored to sanity. The last one is also remarkable in that it says sanity will be restored.I don't know if I've ever been sane. I certainly know that I was innocent, but I don't really count that. The simplicity of childhood was just simplicity for me.

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