What is it that you would be doing?

When we are fulfilled by the work we do we will likely be at our best, and will be engaged and challenged on a daily basis.

When we find this congruence in the work we do, it may no longer feel like work, but more like a “calling” we were meant for.

Finding the right work that corresponds with our passions and strengths can seem like a lifelong challenge if we don’t understand our natural capabilities, what motivates us, and what gives us a sense of purpose.

To help you find this engagement and fulfillment, use the Meaning, Pleasure, Strengths (MPS) Process. The MPS Process was created by Harvard professor and best-selling author Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, and was published in his book, “Happier.”

The process involves spending time asking yourself the following questions about meaning, pleasure, and strengths:

• “What gives me meaning?”
• “What gives me pleasure?”
• “What are my strength?”

For meaning consider: what gives you a sense of significance? What is important to you and what are your values? It most likely will be something challenging and beyond you, but don’t let this hold you back.

For finding pleasurable work, consider what you enjoy doing, what is satisfying, and what makes you feel good.  This may be related to your hobbies or anything that tends to elicit positive affect.

For strengths, uncover your character strengths by taking the VIA strengths assessment. Outside of this consider your top strength by exploring what tends to energize you, where you feel your natural talent lies, and what personal characteristics you have always felt encouraged and competent with.

The goal is to explore these three areas and find patterns or themes that overlap. You can then shape your job or career to incorporate the elements that overlap the most.

Which of your answer overlap?

Now consider what career area or work you could do that incorporates these traits.

If you already have a career, how can you craft your current obligations or responsibilities to have overlap with these areas?

A good example of how to find work that is meaningful, pleasurable and that incorporates strengths comes from the recent issue of Success magazine. Check out the story about the two brothers behind the Life is Good clothing company and how they followed their passions and values to create a multimillion-dollar brand.

Learning about meaning, pleasure and strengths can lead to more happiness and success with the work we do. When we are doing something we enjoy and that we are engaged in fully, it will be more rewarding and satisfying.

Until recently, the practice of meditation has been traditionally relegated to the private study of those willing to be specially trained in a particular style or technique.

However, in the past 10 years, things have changed as meditation’s universal appeal and access has begun to broaden, and the real-world applications and neuroscience research has followed.

Even more interesting is exploring the valuable effects of combining frameworks and techniques from different contemplative traditions to improve emotional experiences and regulation.

A recent study published in the Journal of Emotions (2012) examined the emotional changes that can result from meditation practice and emotional intelligence training, by delivering a program to 82 female participants over 8 weeks.

The program covered 42 hours of meditation and emotion regulation training and included educational presentations, discussions related to emotions and life philosophies, and different secular meditations and contemplative skills. The participants were randomly assigned to either a training group or wait-list control group.

The study aimed to see how contemplative practice could reduce “destructive enactment of emotions,” and enhance pro-social responses through the development of emotional states such as compassion.

The study revealed that combining different meditation traditions was effective on many of the measures. The content of the program combined techniques from concentration mediation, mindfulness meditation, as well mettā meditation.

The training group reported reduced negative affect, rumination, depression, anxiety, and increased positive affect and mindfulness compared to the control group.

The training revealed a reduction in destructive emotions and coinciding behaviors such as hostility and other reactive behavioral responses.

As well, the meditation group demonstrated greater reduction in physiological arousal and had quicker recovery of their sympathetic nervous system when presented with tasks to induce stress.

Participants of the training group also showed increases in positive affect, such as compassion, when responding to images of suffering individuals, and showed greater ability to recognize facial expressions of emotions in others.

This study offers intriguing finding in support of the efficacy of different meditative techniques when it comes to emotional awareness and regulation. There isn’t necessarily any one type of meditation better than another. If you are of a more mystical bent, try Transcendental Meditation or take a class in Yoga.  Herbert Bensen has a classic book, “The Relaxation Response,” which teaches a simple type of meditation. Mindfulness Meditation is also great.

Implementing meditation as a supplement to other mental health techniques can be a helpful and applicable practice, and there may be no better time to begin recognizing how meditation can be a perfect intervention to help people cope with the fast paced, technologically advanced society we live in today.

Reference

Kemeny, M. E., Foltz, C., Cullen, M., Jennings, P., Gillath, O., et al. (2012). Contemplative/Emotion Training Reduces Negative Emotional Behavior and Promotes Prosocial Responses. Emotion, 12 (2), 338-350.

If you’re a mother, this post is an offering to your happiness and contentment, and a reminder of the indispensable role you fill.

Mothers are a unique leader of their children and family. They fill a crucial role of teaching future generations the power of living a loving and compassionate life.

This is because mothers live with a sense of love that is unmatched by most. They approach life with a caring and courageous heart and the decisions they make are anchored in love.

A few of the leadership qualities mothers convey include: joy, hope, love and compassion.

Joy – Mothers are often the source of joy for their children and family. They are so filled with love, that they are able to find joy in the smallest things and remain joyful through the difficult things.

Hope – Mothers can overcome the vulnerabilities of life and keep their family bonded together. They are a reminder of the unconditional love that can transcend the struggles of life.

Love – Mothers are tied to their family with a loving connection that runs incomparably deep. They are the model figure of what it means to give and receive love.

Compassion – No matter how much a child may wander, a mother’s heart is always ready to forgive and reunite. Mothers know when their family is in pain and will do anything to heal this hurting.

In a broad context, there is someone in all of our lives who has taught us how to give and receive love, and who has dedicated their time and energy to helping us have a happier life.

So no matter who the mother figure in your life may be, this holiday is a chance to show your appreciation and give of yourself to make them happy.

If you’re a mom and need to be uplifted, I hope this mother’s day brings you the renewal that you deserve. If you need a little extra boost, remember these tips to keeping positive and encouraged:

• Give yourself a break and cut back your personal expectations this Mother’s Day. There is no need to aim for perfection.
• Trust your instincts and embrace who you are.
• Make time for you and what you enjoy doing. Just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you can’t still have hobbies and amusement.
• Find support in motherhood. Connect with friends and family who can be your coach or cheerleader through the process.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Let’s face it. Seeing our life as good enough doesn’t come naturally for many people any longer.

We live in a mixed-up and crazy culture where it’s an ongoing commitment to temper greed, jealousy and ambition for more. We always have the options to have more, learn more and do more.

One key to living with contentment is to realize the difference between needs and wants. We allow our desires and wants to take over our motivation until we begin to believe that we really need to live a life of consumption and materialism.

As we gain awareness of this conditioning we can learn to alter our perspective to one that will offer more satisfaction with life.

Here are a few ideas to help you be happier with what you have and who you are:

Practice Gratitude – Most people want things to be better than they are, or when things are going well, we forget to appreciate what we have. Learn to reflect on how much better things are than they could be. Focus on what you are thankful for. Write down 5 things you are grateful for right now.

Let go of regrets – When we hold onto regrets from decisions we have made, it can really poison our well-being. Many people regret something they can no longer change, which ends up holding them back from moving forward in a more positive manner. What happened in the past is done and gone, so work to stay present and mindful of the current moment to find more joy and fulfillment.

Expect less and accept more – Sometimes what we want to have or expect to be the case isn’t so. When we have high expectations for everything in life we will ultimately run into disappointment. Learn to accept those things you can’t change, whether it’s about you or someone else in your life. What in your life is difficult to accept and causing you distress? Work on this one thing as a means to begin controlling expectations.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others – When we use other people as the measuring stick for our personal success and quality of life we are likely to be less satisfied. Social comparisons can provide useful information when we try to learn from others, but they also hold our perspective in a discontented position. Compare yourself less so you can be satisfied more.

Make time for simple pleasures – When you are focused on your big ambitions and future goals you might neglect the daily pleasures that surround you. Learn to slow down and absorb the wonder and beauty around you. Stay present and focus on the task you’re doing in that moment. Don’t let the life pass you by because you’re always on the go and distracted by ambition.

Learn to embrace where you are in your life right now. No matter where you want to be, don’t overlook the joy and fulfillment you can partake in today. I know this can be difficult but take a few minutes today to slow down, reflect on the positive things in your life, and appreciate your talents and strengths.

Practice looking at life through this lens of contentment and it will become more natural.

Ryan is the Education Director at the VIA Institute on Character, and a fellow blogger here on PsychCentral who writes the blog Character Strengths.

He was kind enough to share his extensive knowledge about how we can use our character strengths to begin living life at our best.

I believe this is one of the most valuable topics in applied positive psychology so am truly grateful for his generosity.

I know the interview is long, but it’s certainly worth the read. I hope you enjoy!

Joe: For someone who may have no awareness of the history and idea of “character strengths,” describe a little about the overall concept, as well as how it became popularized?

Ryan: Thanks Joe. Character strengths have become popular lately because of groundbreaking work in the field of positive psychology. Pioneering educators, researchers,and practitioners in the field were realizing that there was no concrete answer to the following questions:

• What qualities make up a good and meaningful life?
• Where can we turn for a consensual language for describing what is best in people?

There were no answers.  Therefore, 55 top scientists set forth on a three-year project to review the best writings on virtue and positive human qualities in philosophy, virtue ethics, moral education, psychology, and religion over the past 2500 years.

Six common themes (virtues) emerged from these great thinkers and sacred works – wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance and transcendence. Then, 24 character strengths were derived that are the pathways to these six virtues. This came to be known as the VIA Classification of strengths and virtues.

Another reason for the popularity is that scientists then developed the VIA Survey, a tool to measure these universal strengths. Because this tool is free, online, and gives immediate results it has been taken by 1.5 million people from over 250 countries in a short period of time.

Joe: What are the main reasons people benefit from using their character strengths? What is the inherent value they offer? 

Ryan: One of the values is to immediate experience – it’s easy to use strengths and it feels good. It makes us feel happy. It can also be empowering where we feel like we are accomplishing something of value and we are being our true selves. Some people talk about how it aligns with authentic living. Ultimately, when we are using our strengths we are engaged in the present moment, we are connecting with who we are, what we are doing, and who we are with.

When I am expressing my strength of curiosity, I am right here present in the moment asking questions and wondering about things. When I’m using my appreciation of beauty strength, I’m engaged and connected to the beauty around me and feel at peace. When we use our strengths, we connect.

Joe: What does the research reveal about the relationship between using strengths and enhancing well-being? How does incorporating strengths into daily life ultimately make us happier?

Ryan: Research is finding that certain strengths appear to be strongly connected to well-being, such as zest, hope, gratitude, and curiosity, to name a few. Another finding is that when individuals identify one of their highest strengths (called signature strengths) and use it in a new way each day, that this can give a boost to happiness and a decrease to depression for up to 6 months!

Researchers continue to study “why” our signature strengths are connected to happiness. In part, it can be explained by what I noted earlier about engaging and connecting. Also, when we use our strengths, researchers are finding that we are better able to reach our goals and to meet our basic psychological needs.

Joe: Do peoples’ strengths change as they mature and grow as a person, or are these more of a stable trait like personality? What can we do to continue cultivating and using strengths as we grow as people or transition into new periods of life?

Ryan: This is an interesting question. Nice use of curiosity by you to ask it, Joe!

Character strengths are part of our personality, thus function like stable traits that are consistent across situation and over time. That said, it is exciting to note that they can change. Since all of our character strengths are “capacities” within us, this means that there is innate potential for us to build them.

I’ve witnessed people make dramatic changes in their character strengths. Sometimes this can be caused by changes in our social role, for example, having children, and we therefore boost up our love strength. Other times, the experience of a traumatic event may lead the person to build up more bravery and perseverance to help in future situations.

Other people build strengths by consciously focusing on a strength that they want to build up or expand upon. I use the acronym ROAD-MAP to offer a framework of ideas for working with any strength. We can Reflect on past use, learn by Observing others, Appreciate and value the strengths of others, Discuss strengths, Monitor our own strength use closely, Ask others for feedback (like a 360 evaluation), and make a Plan of action.

Joe: What are some major misconceptions you think people should be aware of when it comes to their understanding of character strengths?

Ryan: Some people limit their focus to just their top strengths. While we believe a person’s top strengths are probably most important for happiness, reaching goals, and other purposes, it’s also important to know that all 24 strengths matter. We use all 24 of the strengths to a certain degree and we need them all in order to be at our best.

Also, strengths are not expressed individually, one at a time. Instead, they are expressed in clusters or as constellations. Rarely am I expressing just my prudence strength, rather it’s more likely that I’m expressing some self-regulation, perspective, perseverance, and hope, along with prudence.

Another big misconception, especially in educational programs in the U.S., is that some authority or institution (religious, political, or otherwise) will tell students or participants what strengths of character they should have and are most important (e.g., kindness, fairness, honesty, etc.) But, all 24 are good and matter, each connected with different outcomes. So rather than telling people how to “be,” a better approach might be to encourage students or participants to look within and discover their own personal strengths – their own uniqueness.

Joe: Tell the readers a little about the VIA Institute on Character and how they can connect and learn more?

Ryan: The VIA Institute on Character is the nonprofit, positive psychology organization in Cincinnati, Ohio that educates practitioners and others about the research and practice of character strengths. I’m privileged to be the Education Director who moves the education mission forward teaching consumers, coaches, counselors, educators, and businesspeople about best practices with strengths.

VIA leads online workshops to people around the world on strengths. In fact, our next course starts next week on May 9^th. Your blog readers can go to this site here and register with this code – VIA1224 – to receive a special $25 discount off the course.

Joe: Lastly, give a little plug for your new blog called “Character Strengths” here on PsychCentral.com. What type of content and updates can we expect going forward?

Ryan: My 3 core areas are character strengths, mindfulness and movies. These are all topics I’m passionate about and have the most experience with. They’ve been the biggest focus in my previous writings and practice as a psychologist and coach. I enjoy exploring stories, ideas, research, and practices that are in those arenas. Also, I have some new articles and books I’ll be publishing on all of these topics in the not-so-distant future so will be happy to keep readers posted on that too.

Mostly, I try to write so that readers will find the blog to be “interesting” and “practical.” I say “interesting” because I want people to feel that their time was well-spent and I say “practical” because I want readers to have a “take-away” that is useful for their lives – perhaps it’s part of a story, or a tidbit of wisdom, or an exercise they might use to improve their life.

Morphopsychology is the analysis and study of the facial morphology, used for personality evaluations. The process by which the shape of one’s face interacts with the psychology is still a mystery, but I am sure that like everyone else, when meeting a new face, you had a strange intuition of knowing the nature of the person you met (Note that this intuition could prove to be right or wrong).

That is where morphopsychology started, and it started a long time ago because the first words we know about it are from Hippocrates. From experience, clinical observation, and statistical studies, a lot of skilled men started drawing the basic rules to propose a correspondence between face and personality.

Nowadays, the craft of morphopsychology is still a work in progress: it is not entirely clear yet how the different elements in the face interacts with each other and which part you are born with and which part you nurture through education and environment. However, the level of details is clearly sufficient to propose an overview of one’s personality.

When I started morphopsychology a few years ago, I immediately saw a pattern, and could relate it to close friends, family, or colleagues. Studying it deeper, the pattern became more precise, more consistent. I came to understand why some people function one way and why others don’t. Before I tended to think that if someone did not think like me, he was just ignorant. Now I see that it is much richer than that and it was a giant step for my self-development.

A common criticism about morphopsychology is: “so you think you know me just by looking at me?” That is evidently not true; it is impossible to say what kind of food you like or if you are a criminal. But I pretend to be able to detect a part of what your potential is.

For example, are you more logical or intuitive? Do you act spontaneously or do you rather take a step back? Are you more a team player or an independent player? It is also possible to give some clues about some other characteristics such as loyalty, ambition, decision-making, motivation, memory, concentration, interpersonal skills, etc.

A morphoanalysis aims at helping you find what areas you are good at, and where it costs you an extra effort. Ultimately though, you still decide what you want to do with this potential. If your portrait says that you may not be great at speaking in public, it does not mean that you cannot do it, but that you may have to work harder to gain attention and convince the crowd. There is a good chance that you have other qualities that if combined with this newly-learned competency will make you even better than a “natural speaker.”

Because everyone is good at something, morphopsychology is not a tool to discriminate or to rank people. We don’t mean to judge people, but rather to understand what makes their personality unique.

The applications of morphopsychology are numerous and especially consistent for a competency assessment, career orientation or during a personal development process. Every counseling or coaching activity could then benefit from it.

In the matter of recruitment, it could complement (but not replace) traditional hiring tools (can you imagine that a recruiter does not pick you for the job and justifies it by “your nose is too big”?). It can certainly validate some of the intuition an employer had during the interview, or confirm the personality traits required for the position. Also it proves to be of a great help with children.

The method itself consists of analyzing the bigger picture (overall shape of the face and the profile, firmness of the traits) and carefully getting into the details (study of the forehead, eyes, nose, cheeks, mouth, jaw, and chin). Each element being interrelated, it is impossible to isolate a part of the face and start deducing features of the personality.

Then we must pay attention to potential conflicts: Every individual is driven by multiple forces which do not necessarily go in one direction. To assess the efficiency of one’s personality, we look carefully to the overall balance of the morphology.

In any case, I strongly encourage everyone to look deeper into it, and perhaps to have a look on my website www.faceandprofile.com. I would also love to make some quick portraits if people are interested. I just need some pictures, and details on how to take pictures can be found on my website.

Guest Post: Olivier Maillet is a HR professional during the day, and a passionate practitioner of Morphopsychology at night. She graduated from the “French Society of Morphopsychology” in 2005.

Would you say it’s to be successful, to have loving relationships, to make a difference in the world, or to be wealthy?

Maybe it’s all of the above – though there is one common denominator for all of these: to be happy. We all want to be happy, right?

Some would say the search for happiness is the greatest motivator of humankind.

For many people this is the primary goal of their life.

We do what we do in the hopes that we will ultimately find greater happiness.

It’s intuitive to think that if we value happiness so much, we would ultimately be happier. If you want something bad enough, don’t you do whatever it takes to reach this goal?

For most goals this works out okay. If I want to achieve good grades in school, improve my sales, get more clients, etc. the harder I work the better my results will probably be.

Unfortunately, when happiness is our end goal and we approach it this way, it may lead to less happiness.

This is because unlike getting good grades, there is a paradoxical effect between the goal and our evaluation of the outcome. Think about it; the more we value happiness the more likely we are to expect happiness and to set higher happiness standards that are difficult to obtain.

Putting a high value on happiness leads us to be disappointed because our level of happiness won’t meet our expectations.

This is particularly true in situations where there is little stress and where happiness would seem to be most in reach. There is nothing to attribute our lack of happiness to, and we may assume “I should be happier!”

This only takes away from our potential of experiencing greater joy, contentment, and pleasure.

So, what does this mean if we want to flourish and experience greater happiness?

Should you just neglect this natural tendency and not worry about what happens in life? Of course not, but it will require learning and developing a happiness plan. A plan where you apply intentional activities and make a conscious effort to change the way you live your life.

Here are five interventions to help you develop a greater quality of life.

Learning to be grateful – Focusing on what you’re grateful or thankful for is a major way to begin experiencing more happiness. People who keep a gratitude and appreciation diary generally see a rise in their happiness within a few weeks. The idea is simple. Just write down 3 – 5 things that you appreciate, and hope to see continue. Write a brief note about how those good things came about. Try to make an entry every few days, or at least once or twice a week.

Building on Strengths – Dr. Marty Seligman and Dr. Chris Peterson developed a list of universal virtues or personal strengths. These seem to be valued in every society, and research now suggests if you develop your strong areas, you will be more productive and happy. Write each night about what you did to work on your strengths. Pick the top two or three strengths in yourself and do something each day that “plays to” that strength.

Lifestyle Skills – There is a strong relationship between diet, physical activity, sleep and mood. If you want to be happier get adequate sleep, not too much and not too little. Eat a well balanced diet and avoid drugs, alcohol, and caffeine. Make time to exercise at least three times per week, even if it’s just going for a walk for 20-30 minutes.

Random Kindness – Commit to doing a few good deeds a few days a week. These can be small or moderate in size. Don’t overdo it. It can be something small like putting a coin in a parking meter, for example. In the winter you can clean the snow off a neighbor’s windshield. In the spring weed a neighbor’s flower patch. Send an anonymous donation to a school in a poor neighborhood. The list could go on and on.

Meditation – Meditation can help us relax, stay in the moment, and be more mindful of our thinking and emotions. When we are deeply relaxed, when our mind and our body is quiet, we recover quickly from stress. Developing a meditation practice can be a great way to cope with a fast-paced life and cultivate more positive emotions.

Happiness is not an end goal in itself but is more of a lifestyle. Happiness is not some state we will one day reach for good, but an ongoing process requiring work and practice to manage our thinking, outlook and habits.

If you are interested in growing into a happier person, seeking more fulfillment, and finding a sense of purpose and meaning, I have developed a program that is due out May 31. It is called the Trigger Positive Program: How to Become a Happier Person, Positively Influence others, and Make a Difference in the World.

If you sign-up now you are eligible for 40% off the entire program. It includes a full workbook with numerous activities and exercises as well as an accompanying audio.

Get more information by clicking below.

Reference

Mauss, I. B., Tamir, M., Anderson, C. L., & Savino, N. S. (2011). Can Seeking Happiness Make People Unhappy? Paradoxical Effects of Valuing Happiness. Emotions, 11 (4), 807-815.

It is true that zestfulness is almost certainly an innate, inherited trait. But in the past few years, we have discovered that many of these traits are quite changeable. We can increase zest if we wish to.

How do we do it? What about enjoying the things around us? The skill of Savoring can increase our zest, since by paying attention to the pleasant things in our lives, we develop a greater sense of excitement about having that happen again. We enjoy and we eagerly anticipate.

Think of wine tasters. You have seen them sniffing the wine as they swirl it around in the glass, then swishing it around in their mouth. They are trying to sense every aspect of the wine. Their attention is totally focused on the moment, on how they can tune in to every molecule of taste. They are savoring the wine.

A Buddhist teacher, Thich Naht Hahn, encourages his students to concentrate fully as they chew their food, chewing slowly and thoroughly. He helps them enjoy the food more thoroughly, and says they end up eating and needing less because they extract all the goodness from the food they eat. A simple glass of milk and a piece of bread seems like a feast to Hahn, as he savors his food.

A friend of mine, Dave, saw a gray Audi A4 in front of a neighbor’s house. He said immediately, “Now they have two Audis of the same color.” When asked how he knew, he said, “The wheels of the car in their driveway are a different style; that one is a different year than the one they bought last fall.” Dave was right. They liked the first Audi so much, they bought a second one. Other than the wheels, the two cars are identical. Dave is a car connoisseur; he savors automobiles.

Psychologists studying happiness wonder if savoring is a key to raising levels of happiness and zest. I suggest that you try this experiment. Choose a simple pleasure that you might enjoy, like walking the dog, or sitting outside on a pleasant afternoon. As you experience that pleasure, focus your attention on the experience.

What are the sights? Sounds? Physical sensations? What kinds of inner feelings – gratitude, wonder, appreciation, amusement – do you notice in yourself? Spend some time at that. Now while the experience is fresh, jot down in a journal or diary what you did notice. Try to describe it in such a way so that you are almost reliving the sensations, the sights and sounds, as you write it. Notice – savor – the writing process.

How do you feel inside as you write it? Notice the feeling of your fingers on the keyboard or of the pen in your hand. What is in your heart? Are you feeling happier as you describe the savory experience? If you savor and write about one experience each day, you will soon develop a nice habit. You will find that there are many small things each day you appreciate and value. You might notice that your zest and enjoyment of life is increasing. If you do, be sure and write about it.

There is real power in the simple act of documenting and writing. It creates a virtuous cycle of noticing-writing-doing, which leads to more noticing of your own progress. The more we practice this virtuous cycle, the stronger the habit becomes.

This is article is content provided by Lynn D. Johnson, Ph.D. For more information, contact: Ljohnson@solution-consulting.com, and check out his new book Enjoy Life: Healing With Happiness.

We live in a day and age where people are consumed with daily pressure and overloaded with stress from work, family, finances and other obligations.

What do you do to cope during these moments of stress and frustration?

Whether you’re personally struggling to manage your emotions or you know someone in your life who seems to be emotionally sensitive, practicing mindful awareness can be a tool for regulating these difficult emotions.

Mindfulness is generally characterized as having present moment awareness, where we observe our current experience of thoughts and feelings in a nonjudgmental manner.

Mindfulness has been shown to be effective for therapeutic purposes by decreasing emotional distress and helping to reduce depression – though mindfulness can also be a valuable means for dealing with everyday pressures as well.

Learning to be mindful of our ongoing experiences can help us cope with stress while still remaining productive and goal oriented. It is a practice to help us accept the present moment in a calm and collected manner, without getting caught up in racing thoughts or overwhelmed with uncomfortable emotions.

This works for me when I have an exceptionally busy day. I may have numerous appointments and a string of different things to do. Instead of getting overwhelmed and trapped in thinking about the next scheduled deadline or how busy I am, I can remain present in the moment and keep an objective perspective.

I typically use mindful breathing during these moments when I’m on the go. Here is an article for learning more about mindful breathing if you’re interested.

So how does mindfulness help with regulating emotions?

Less emotional reactivity

Often when emotions emerge they lead to an urge to take action and react. Mindfulness can help us be less reactive and deal with fluctuating emotions by developing greater awareness of how we feel, as well as learning to accept the current experience in a more objective manner.

This can ultimately help us reframe how we perceive the situation so it is less emotional and upsetting. When a distressing feeling emerges we can acknowledge it and let it pass with the awareness that emotions come and go.

Differentiating between emotions

An important function of managing emotions is being able to identify and acknowledge the feeling. When we can recognize and be aware of our emotions it allows us to cope and respond in a more conscious manner. It provides greater clarity on the emotional experience overall and gives a means to describe our feelings.

Overall greater emotional intelligence and regulation

All in all, being mindful helps keep us in the driver’s seat of our behavior and actions.

We can remain in a position of greater control and manage our emotions instead of our emotions managing us. Emotions and feelings communicate to us, and by practicing the skill of mindfulness we can begin to respond to emotions more effectively.

Have you ever wanted to be more brave, courageous, and bold?

Think of what you could do if you had the courage to step out on a limb and push beyond your fears?

When it comes to my personal level of courage, I have came a long way over the last few years. I am willing to take more risks, push beyond my self-imposed limitations, and expand my view of what is possible in life.

Still, I’m always interested in how I can be more confident, determined, and steadfast as I pursue further aspirations.

I was fortunate to come across a new book that provides the insight and information about how to do just this.

The book is called The Courage Quotient by psychologist Robert Biswas-Diener. Dr. Biswas-Diener is known as the “Indiana Jones of Positive Psychology,” and I have been a huge fan of his work in the field of positive psychology coaching.

His new book explores what psychological research is revealing about how to increase courage and be braver person, and below is an interview where we delve deeper into his new book and the science of courage.

For starters, what is courage as it’s defined in this book?

When many people think of courage their minds jump directly to physical acts of bravery. Courage includes physical bravery but is much more than that.

I personally use the definition that for an act to be considered courageous it must meet certain criteria: 1) fear must be present, 2) there must be the perception of a personal risk, 3) the outcome of action must be uncertain and 4) a person decides to take action despite numbers one through three. Some people also argue for an additional criterion that holds that courage is defined by an action being moral or desirable.

What was your motivation to write this book and explore courage as its focal point?

My initial interest in courage is personal rather than professional. I have, historically, been a bit of a risk taker myself and have long admired other risk takers ranging from explorers to scientific pioneers. I have seen terrific life rewards come to those who are willing to take risks and who get away with it. And I have seen the converse as well: people who don’t live a full life because they are paralyzed by the specter of failure.

So I began looking at the research literature in general, and the positive psychology literature specifically, and I was surprised to see how little there was. There are certainly experts out there, such as Cynthia Pury, but courage is just not an area of scientific attention in the way happiness or optimism are.

It is a topic that is still relegated largely to philosophical attention and much of what we know about it comes from this intellectual tradition. Researching for The Courage Quotient was, therefore, a bit like going on a treasure hunt as I sifted through research from sociology, military studies, psychology and other disciplines.

What new research findings with courage does the book explore that you feel are most exciting for applied positive psychology?

For as much attention as positive psychologists – myself included – give to topics such as happiness, I am shocked by the dearth of attention to bravery. It is so important, and so basic to living a good, successful life, that you would think there would be new articles published on the subject every month.

This is, I suppose, my roundabout way of saying that many, many of the research findings discussed in the courage quotient are pretty new to public view. Although they have appeared in academic journals, I rarely hear these findings discussed by lay people: executives report more courage than do police officers or other emergency personnel, for example. Similarly, women are more likely than men to practice many forms of bravery including live organ donations and volunteering abroad.

What is the courage quotient and how we can test our own?

There are, in essence, two distinct aspects to courage. The first is managing fear. This is the part that most folks consider when they are thinking about bravery. The second aspect is boosting your willingness to act.

At first glance, it appears that these two concepts are directly linked but they are not. A person can boost her willingness to act without lowering or managing her level of fear at all, for example. Or a person can suppress fear without raising her absolute level of willingness to act. So these two concepts to not act like a see-saw where when one goes up the other goes down.

Being courageous, I argue in the book, is largely about learning skills related to both of these processes. Managing fear, for instance, can be about physiological control through breathing or meditation. Boosting the willingness to act, by contrast, can be about removing blocks to forward momentum such as accepting the inevitability (and even usefulness) of occasional failure.

A person’s courage quotient is essentially their willingness to act divided by their fear. You always need the former to be larger than the latter for brave action to occur. I offer an assessment in the book but I also think daily life gives us ample opportunity to test ourselves!

What is “thinking magically” and how does it allow us to increase courage?

This was one of the surprises for me as an expert in positive psychology. While I was writing the book I came across a new article by one of my colleagues in Europe who researched magical beliefs. She found, among other things, that people performed better on memory tasks and at a golf putting task if they had a lucky charm.

I was absolutely thrilled by this notion and began wondering about the natural human capacity for magical thinking.

The more I looked into the issue the more I realized that people from virtually every walk of life have some type of lucky charm. For some folks it is a lucky tie or pair of socks or confidence boosting underwear. For others it is a photograph of a deceased loved one or a special piece of jewelry. Regardless of the specifics I realized that people harness this ability to think in magical ways to make themselves braver and take on threatening situations such as a fear of flying or public speaking.

I’ll admit, this particular chapter was one of the ones that intrigued me the most.

Lastly, what one thing can readers start doing today to be more courageous?

Embrace failure. I separate failure into “high stakes” and “low stakes” failures. You don’t want high stakes failure such as car accidents, bankruptcy, incorrect diagnoses, or other calamitous events. Low stakes failures, on the other hand, should be welcomed as important learning opportunities.

At work I often tell my employees to go out and engage in a little failure. Chances are, in nearly every aspect of your life you honed your proficiency by making small mistakes and learning from them. Don’t let the fear of small or short term failures hold you back from the life you want or a life that will benefit others.

Hopefully this interview expands your personal understanding of what courage is and how you can begin to live a life of greater fulfillment and significance.

You can connect with Dr. Biswas-Diener further and learn about his work through his organization Positive Acorn.