Pinklatex -Legacy

Saturday Night & Dead Ben Affleck

2019-09-19T16:09:00.000-04:00

thepinklatexshow.com

Okay, so some Saturdays, I am miraculously allowed to leave my house and go do stuff. This includes support groups. Its one of my favorite past time activities. Yup, Rusty morphs into a veritable Chuck Palahniuk every free Saturday, sometimes Friday, also...

So, to let you know what I have observed at various locations I attend, my very favorite character would be someone I refer to as "Dead Ben Affleck". He has a huge Ben Affleck head on his dead, malnutritioned body. He looks like what Ben Affleck would look like a week post mortem.

So, if you were every curious about that, get with me on Saturdays. I can be your tour guide. I live in a rural location, we don't have fun things like blood borne pathogens. I will tease up my hair like Helena Bonham Carter is that is what gets you off. Just please for the love of god, break up the monotony and torture.

Pinklatex Show Thursday Night Dysfunction 9 pm est 5/28/09

2019-08-09T16:07:00.002-04:00

Personal Accounts According to Collie, Rusty, and Jenn...

Thursday night Dysfunction 5/28 9pm

Rusty Shows Us Her Boobs, Ok, Um...

2019-08-09T16:04:00.002-04:00

NOT REALLY, BUT LISTEN TO THE SHOW LIVE TONIGHT, 9 PM EST...

Upcoming Show: 6/4/2009 9:00 PM

The Pinklatex Show

*Thursday Night Karaoke*

2 hour show!

Join us Thursday nights for Karaoke, prank calls and the Famous and fancy Trivia night!!!

The Pinklatex Comedy Show Tonight Thursday, June 10, 2010 Live Chat Available Durning Podcast!

2010-06-10T17:26:00.002-04:00

We have a TPS (The Pinklatex Show) on tonight at 9pm est right here, you can listen and chat live with us, So come on by!!!!

Catch up, listen to the last show, REALLY FUNNY! ( skits, music, gossip, prank phone calls and more)

NEW Pinklatex Show 5.27.10 *Wicked Funny and so mean, mum and boi strike again, Minnie and Alice and Rocken Randy!! *

10 Dads Who Got Arrested

2010-06-07T11:26:00.001-04:00

Oh shit, its the fifth member of fucking Journey! This will be on the news! Nice lips asshole!

He's happy. If he goes to jail he doesn't have to pay you or DOR. He gets three hot squares and a job scrubbing toilets and all the blowjobs a man could need, so he's ecstatic.

Jesus Christ Superstar, are you really who they say you are? No, Jesus would pay child support, loser.

Fuck, I've been caught, I thoughts that if you had more than one baby momma that made only one baby momma, dang.

Wrestling is my life, my kids are my minions (I would not want this guy as my dad, creepy, nice eyebrow)

Got any dust? He does, he spends lots of money on PCP, so he can't pay child support. Wow, you think he looks surprised now? wait until someone slips it in the back door.

Juggalo for life yall. (that pretty much says it all)

He was removed from the rave while worshiping Osiris. He was pissed, because he was building a pyramid in his back yard and thought he could go sleep in his sarcophagus, but NOOOOO! His party was interrupted, because he did not pay the queen of the Nile.

I like chicken, I like liver, meowmix, meowmix, please deliver. Its clear this douche has not been spending his child support cash on shampoo or toothpaste for that matter. Dear God!!! He smells like cheese.

(Rusty is a dink, and has no clue Gregg Allman is still alive and kicken, so I plan to let her think he is dead) (this is an old post, he was alive at this point)
Didn't Gregg Allman die, are we sure?
Didn't your mother ever tell you not to go out into the sun when you are wearing your hat on the roof while working as a roofer under the table as not to pay child support to your 7 babies mamas?

Roman Polanski arrested 31 years late

2009-09-27T16:41:00.000-04:00

Celebrity Buzz The director was arrested in Switzerland on a 31-year-old international warrant and will likely be extradited to the US. Polanski was convicted of drugging and sleeping with 13-year-old Samantha Geimer in 1978; he fled the country before his sentencing. He has spent most of his time in France, which would not extradite him, and avoided traveling to countries that might. Polanski was on his way to the Zurich Film Festival.

PARIS — Roman Polanski, the director of legendary films including “Chinatown” and “Rosemary’s Baby,” was arrested in Switzerland on a 31-year-old international warrant as he arrived to attend the Zurich Film Festival, the Swiss authorities said Sunday.

Roman Polanski
Related
Director Guide: Roman Polanski

Mr. Polanski was detained by the police Saturday upon his arrival at the Zurich airport, said Guido Balmer, a spokesman for the Swiss Federal Justice Department. The director was being held in provisional detention in preparation for a possible extradition to the United States based on an arrest warrant dating to 1978.

Mr. Polanski, 76, was convicted that year in a California court of unlawful sex with a 13-year-old girl whom he had lured to the home of Jack Nicholson and drugged. Faced with a prison term, he fled the United States just before his sentencing.

Samantha Geimer, the girl with whom Mr. Polanski had sex, has since publicly forgiven him.

Lawyers for Mr. Polanski sought to have the case dismissed last December, claiming that the release of a documentary called “Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired,” had showed “a pattern of misconduct and improper communications” among Los Angeles officials.

In Paris, the city in which Mr. Polanski now lives, the French culture minister, Frederic Mitterrand, said in a statement that he was “astonished” by the arrest.

The organizers of the Zurich Film Festival, which had been preparing to give Mr. Polanski a lifetime achievement award, said in a statement that they received news of the arrest “with great consternation and shock,” but that they would give Mr. Polanski the award at the earliest possible opportunity. The festival will continue as planned, they said.

Officials at the U.S. Department of Justice could not immediately be reached for comment.

Assuming Mr. Polanski does not waive his right to appeal, he can challenge both the arrest warrant and any eventual extradition order, Mr. Balmer said, and appeal both issues in the Swiss federal penal court of justice. If he were to lose those appeals, he could then get a final hearing on both issues at the Federal Court of Justice.

Mr. Balmer said he could not estimate how long any appeal might go on, but said: “It’s true that it won’t be a matter of hours.”
NY TIMES

The Fabulousness of Brian Krakow

2009-06-09T10:18:00.001-04:00

I don't think Brian Krakow gets enough play. Why don't people remember the superb superness of Brian Krakow? Who watched My So Called Life? You watched it at some point back in the day, or in recent memory, perhaps, right. Ok, well, you probably know who Claire Danes is or perhaps Jared Leto, the singer for 30 Seconds to Mars, whose arm had to be amputated in Requiem for a Dream.

WTF, what about Krakow? Does he get any play? Nope, just like in the show, for fuck's sake, Jordan Catalano gets all the poon. Is it because of his giant boofy blonde fro or the fact that he always looks very surprised? Well, you tell me, why do you not know who Brian Krakow is?

Well, Devon says fuck you, my name is Devon, for the love of Christ, I am not Brian Krakow...eat my ass, I am so totally not fucking Brian Krakow, stop calling me Brian!!! I hate you. Die, die, die!!! Not Brian, arghhhh, my fucking name is Devon. I'll box your face. I was on Roswell, too, cunts, stop calling me Brian Krakow. Don't you remember when I was in fucking My Girl 2? No, no, you just remember me as Brian Krakow. Burn in hell, douchebags!

Wow, "Brain" is pissed, Jordan Catalano always called him brain, because he was sort of dumb. Remember? Remember when he told Angela Chase he was dyslexic and she tutored him and let him copy her homework and crap? Yeah, but do you remember when Brian Krakow had to tutor him, I bet you don't. Brian is pissed.

New Craze, Earwax Cleaning & Removal! (Not For the Squeamish)

2009-05-22T15:21:00.001-04:00

Oh and I found video evidence on Youtube of people all over the Western and Eastern world melting candle wax in their ears so that they could remove wax, probably wicked inadvisable, candle wax and putting shit in your ears in a non-medical environment, I would imagine can probably be pretty bad, please, for the love of fucking whatever deity you worship if any, go to an ear doctor!!!

Alright, I know I am pretty obsessed with picking zits, ingrown hairs, and ear wax, but I don't know that I would go as far as to stick a fucking candle in my ear. That's pretty crazy, damn...

I can't even see we are retarded Americans, because I found videos like this all over the globe in every culture, language, and race and creed!!! There are Indian and Asian dudes that walk the streets earning a living with a little circular metal rod picking earwax. Fucking gross, they are like street ear cleaners. You know what, I wouldn't mind that trade if not for the fact that people are dirty ass motherfuckers and I would wear gloves, these dudes just pick that wax and wipe it on their thumb while they are doing it, the runny, liquidy kind that comes before the dried on gunk, its fucking sick!

Didn't hygene come from the Asian continent to the states and Europe, ewwww, are their viruses and disease in earwax. Yuck!

And, is earwax considered a bodily fluid as far as passing disease, pathogens, viruses, and bacteria, I would imagine so, peeps, ick!

The Pinklatex Show Psychic Tonight! Friday, April 3, 2009!!!

2009-04-03T16:43:00.001-04:00

Tonight 9 pm EST!!!

We have Psychic medium Jeffrey Justice on for FREE mini readings along with prank phone calls, sick humor and cat sound effects!

Rusty's Stigmata Affliction

2009-03-24T18:09:00.002-04:00

Ok, as discussed on last week's Friday evening big episode of the Pinklatex Show, I have been very apparently afflicted with the wounds of Christ.

Stigmata
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Stigmata are bodily marks, sores, or sensations of pain in locations corresponding to the crucifixion wounds of Jesus. The term originates from the line at the end of Saint Paul's Letter to the Galatians where he says, "I bear on my body the stígmata of Jesus" - stigmata is the plural of the Greek word ??????, stígma, a mark or brand such as might have been used for identification of an animal or slave. An individual bearing stigmata is referred to as a stigmatic.

The causes of stigmata may vary from case to case, though supernatural causes have never been proven. Stigmata are primarily associated with the Roman Catholic faith. Many reported stigmatics are members of Catholic religious orders. The majority of reported stigmatics are female.

Dude, I have totally been afflicted with the stigmata. You have no idea. I'm wicked sick of speaking in tongues, but am astounded and very proud of my new found ability to translate ancient forms of Aramaic into perfect American English. Aren't you wicked excited!?

Well, I just wanted to share this miracle with all of our readers as well as our listeners, but I have shared it with our listeners on last week's show!

So, if you find any scrolls in clay urns in your back yard, bring it to the Russmeister. I can totally translate it for you! I speak fluent Latin also, but only when I am bleeding, like during my period, so wait a couple of weeks and I can hook you up!

The wounds of Christ suck, does anybody have any flesh colored putty or perhaps some gauze? When you guys go to the emergency room to get free prescription pills because you ran out of your monthly supply, please procure some gauze for me!!!

You can't pee on the BEST cooler in the business!

2009-01-12T15:45:00.001-05:00

Why is this news? (A 22-year-old Fairbanks man was arrested for allegedly urinating on a bouncer at a bar on Sunday morning. The bouncer at Kodiak Jack's told police that he was trying to remove another man from the bar for causing a disruption) I be peeing on mother fuckers all the time... I mean when one goes to work at a bar and chooses the profession of "bouncing" would one not be ready for such Shenanigans? Has the 1989 film noir classic, Roadhouse taught you nothing? . Dalton "The best damn cooler in the business" says, all you have to do is follow three simple rules.
One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected.
Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary
Three, be nice., that is until it is time to not be nice!

Now had the "bouncer" watched this movie, he could have avoided being a piss target!
Rent Roadhouse asap!!!!

FAIRBANKS, Alaska – A 22-year-old Fairbanks man was arrested for allegedly urinating on a bouncer at a bar on Sunday morning. The bouncer at Kodiak Jack's told police that he was trying to remove another man from the bar for causing a disruption. The bouncer said he was trying to calm down the other man when he noticed the man behind him urinating on his leg. The man was charged with with harassment, indecent exposure and making a false report. He was apparently angry that his friend was being thrown out of the bar.

BTW...Best dang Patrick Swayze Roadhouse inspired Christmas video ever made!!!

The "Rapiest" Men of Craigslist Want to Date You!

2009-01-12T15:43:00.001-05:00

Bring Your Trashbag, Duct Tape & Shovel! The "rapiest" men of Craigslist personals comin' atcha!!!!

new to area - 24

hey ladies how u doin im 24 and own my own biz looking to meet some1 in the area new to town down for anything

Dude, he totally collects scrap metal on the side of the road, the definition of the self-employed man up here in jucket country. He
also has a rap sheet the size of a ream of dot matrix printer paper. He smokes a shitload of weed and is a weekend coke user. He has a meth lab in his basement where he will take you to show you his smelly balls.

Looking for younger..... - 36 (Northern MA)
Just not attracted to girls my age.....probably because i look way younger than 36. Any girls in there 20s into older guys???

Translation, I would like to control and beat the shit out of you. He likes little girls and probably is listed on a federal registry of some kind. Don't flatter yourself. You don't look younger than anyone else, you just wish you did.

Looking for gothic romance or friendship - 21 (Milford NH)
I am a real true born goth and always will be. I despise society and love the night life. In fact the chances of seeing me out in the sun are very rare. I have a steady second shift job at some crappy factory. Although I loathe many aspects of life I'm actually a pretty easy going guy. I love video games and hanging out doing whatever I can to stave off the boredom of this redneck town. Seriously tho I wish there was something open at night besides walmart, its pretty pathetic around here really. Anyways I'm dreadfully tired of the scumbags and retards that congregate around me and desperately crave someone to hate the world with. You dont HAVE to be goth to meet me but its always been a fantasy of mine to have a real gothic romance. Sigh... why do we have to be such a rare breed?

Send me an email if ya want to chat or hang out

-Nathan

Translation, I have no job. I was part of the trench coat mafia in school. I have no friends and am still a virgin. I drink blood, wear lots of shit my mommy bought me at hot topic, and in lieu of being a boring nerd, I like to be "different" and pretend noone understands me. I have no identity of my own. Pick me! Pick me! Sadly, you'd probably be way better off with this one than the other ones. He's entertaining but not terribly "rapey". He's not interesting enough to be "rapey".

leet get to know each other - 24 (Wakefield)
i'm a single 24 year old guy lokking for that special babygirl i like to have fun i do smoke(4:20). drink on ocassion,smoke ciggs well i'm new to this if you wanna talk im me on either aim or yahoo my s/n is TJM32707 for both. bye for now here is a pic

Wow, do you need me to comment on this. He's got a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, looks like he just committed a murder rape, not necessarily in that order, and just called you "babygirl".

Kirk Verses Tom, who will win the fight for your soul?

2008-09-16T01:59:00.002-04:00

This week the Pinklatex show will explore the twisted and fantastic worlds Kirk Cameron and Tom Cruise... Xenu verses Born again Christ... who will win the epic battle?

So on the red side, we have the Crazy ass ex TV heart Throb Kirk "your going to hell and God hates gays" Cameron

and on the Blue side we have Tom "you just know it, I mean hahahahah you just ya know? um Scientology is going to save the world and hahah yes, Because a scientologist does" Cruise

Who will win who will lose...

Crazy Verses Crazy.... Tune in Thursday night at 10pm for the fun

While your thinking... watch this....Bill is such a douche and Kirk is a fucking moron.

And well Tom... Oh tom....

for more fun... take there quizes...

Kirk's Quiz *** like a Dante's Inferno walk to hell....*** You will have to skip the intro and click on #1... they changed it, this quiz was so much more fun a year ago.....

QUIZ FOR YOUR SOUL

and Toms Quiz find out why Scitols think you have been diddled and think you need to be cleansed.

QUIZ FOR THE CLEANSE

Please email us your results... See if you hold a place in eternal damnation with Pink!

New England Turn of The Century Asylums & Sanitoriums

2008-09-16T01:57:00.002-04:00

Check it out, Danvers State Hospital has a twin located in New York, Hudson River, located in Poughkeepsie, New York... It wicked pissed me the fuck off when they tear down beautiful Victorian architecture. I encourage everyone to sign petitions to keep these landmark buildings standing in your state. You can locate them online often. I signed the Danvers State Petition, but most of it got knocked down anyway, and the company that purchased the property didn't keep their promise and is getting rid of more all in the name of crappy condos. Don't quote me, but I'm pretty sure they are being dragged into court. Enjoy when all those poor fuckers move out, because everything is haunted. Good luck. What goes around comes around, bitches.

Look at the similarities between Danvers State Hospital and Hudson River Hospital...

In addition to both being super creepy, abandoned, and haunted.

This is Danvers State Hospital while they were tearing it down, assholes!

And, this is Hudson River Asylum.

And their distant cousins, creepy yet still...

Worcester State Hospital, also in Massachusetts, like Danvers State.

Waverly Hills freaks me out, its in Kentucky, I believe, and its on television alot. Somebody had purchased it. It housed many TB victims during times when TB was prevalent at the turn of the century and a little beyond.

Eastern Insane Asylum in Lexington, Kentucky.

Broughton Hospital in Morganton, North Carolina

Down south the history of asylums is even stranger, because they were of course segregated by race.

What about your dead cat?

2008-05-18T21:47:00.002-04:00

A late night conversation with Jeffrey and Pinky. two of us had taken our night time meds.
This is an IM convo...

J: My uncle does very bizarre shit when driving and it totally freaks me out. I am so worried he will become like Mayo (a really old lady with dementia) and talk about dogs and animals and have Pica (that weird condition where demented ppl. are obsessed with eating non-food items...

STILL J: I am going to this place tonight which you would LOVE. It's called "the morgue"it looks like a church, but it's not a church. The building is a church building, though. Beth and I went inside once. Some of it was beautiful and some of it was just plain strange.
The part full of flowers and HUGE GOLDEN BUDDHAS, was so cool and beautiful. But the parts that had pictures of hot German studs and bowls of fake blood were a bit off. What was really strange is that it is full of crucifixions-- big ones-- w/ skeletons on the cross that have HUGE dildos sticking out of them. The weird old fat dude in platforms (like Michael Alig platform shoes) said that when a man is crucified, he gets a huge erection??? HuH? WTF, i googled that after... I went in and there was nothing about it (back then)... He's just a very eccentric guy who is like 60 and dresses so wild-- and everything his place deals with is politics-- not religion. The fence surrounding the property is covered with signs that say nasty things about "Republicans". So that's cool that they bash that Lame-O... I WONDER WHAT THEY'LL SERVE?? IT"S A DINNER PARTY. Bwahahahaha. And I am serious...

Pink: Only you could say Pica and make me piss my pants. I mean I am laughing so hard... MAYO! I absolutely adore Mayo and all the "dogs and animals" in her life.
You uncle will be fine, Rusty drives like she is blind, deaf and an inability to control her own muscle movement.

J: BTW I keep having dreams that keep coming true... WTF??? If only I could dream of winning copious amounts of cash.

Pinky: He said they get an erection WTF, he is so one of those guys that goes home to his Taxidermied cat and fucks it like its Dolly Parton... OMG...
.

J: lmao-- "He's one of those guys that goes home to his taxidermied cat and fucks it like it's Dolly Parton." I am so seriously laughing OUT LOUD. - That was one hell of a dinner party. Literally, there was like an exhibition which was like going into a demented artist's haunted house: with skeletons fucking and dildos covered in fake blood, creepy music, Hindu gods with massive erections (as statues)... and there were all of these super-intellectuals there who are all SERIOUSLY CONVINCED that George Bush is the Anti Christ. They base this on Biblical Prophecy, Then they start going on about "Dream Dimensions"... NO, I AM NOT KIDDING. THE DINNER PARTY FROM HELL. And yet, these people were all very intelligent. Some were professors! It was very interesting, to say the least. The food was all, like gourmet and top notch. There was a lady there reading the Tarot who looked JUST like Miss Cleo.You would have died, if you had gone we'd have another ten years of strange private jokes, easily!

Pinky: We can just add this to the long list of strange things we "talk about". Rusty just passed out with her webcam on, I can see her ...it's beautiful. Like a luck dragon was inflated and subsequently used as a trampoline. Ambien is rough tonight, going to bed. Love ya

J: Love on ya! Rusty is Cleo and Cleo is Lucky.

I tweeze my nose hairs everynight....

2008-04-19T23:20:00.004-04:00

Is there anything that you do that is a ritual?
Nick: no like what?
Pink: Like something you do everyday? Something you have to do
Nick: Like pee when you wake up? Jerk off in the shower?
Pink: no not like pee, like pop zits on your face everyday, every night even when there are no zits to pop…
Nick: oh no
Pink: You are fucking boring, go kill yourself…
Nick: nice
Pink: No Nick, really fuck off…
Nick: well, I do tweeze hairs from inside my nostrils everyday.
Pink: Oh hell ya now your speaking my language.
Nick: Ya, I know a girl who has really long black nose hairs and it bothers the shit out of me to talk to her, because I see the hair blowing in the breeze and It makes me ill….
Pink: Do you like want to stab her face off?

Nick: ya well because of this; I now tweeze my nose hairs everyday… I carry tweezers in my wallet.
Pink: hmm… I can understand that
Nick: you?
Pink: me? Me what?
Nick: wtf ??? What is your thing?
Pink: ehh no don’t really have a thing..
Nick: FUCK YOU
Pink: hmm ok let me think… um, well
Nick: come on now..
Pink: I enjoy dressing up as a Jewish male, named Barry and making dating videos in my basement, I also Like calling party lines as a Russian mail order bride and forcing Homies and losers to get hardons then telling them I have a penis… Um I also at least 7 times a week put on orthopedic shoes and talk in an old lady voice … infact I named my old lady Alice
Nick: herb

My date with "slap me and call me a bitch"

2008-04-18T23:35:00.003-04:00

My date with "slap me and call me a bitch"

Rusty: So I used to get wasted and call the party lines, that is where I met Gino..( a closeted "stylist” from the Boston's North End) .
He seemed to be normal; I thought maybe he might be cool to get wasted with.
So we go to a bar together and he starts droning on about I'm Italian and blah blah I cut hair and everyone thinks I’m gay, I’m not I mean I enjoy ass play and bears but I mean who doesn’t?

Pink: How descriptive and honest of him. Let me get this straight, that convo made you consider that set of greasy nuts? I will never understand you.

Rusty: Gino loved his astrology, he was a Taurus and enjoyed Pickup lines like "Hey what’s your sign?" I thought, well he is quirky and maybe just maybe he'll be cool . Maybe he could color my roots for free? Maybe we could drink some frosty drinks and then go shopping.

Pink: Well I mean, you broke RULE #1!! Never EVER meet anyone from a (phone party lines) chat line… loser.
Everyone knows the lines are for unfortunate looking bums without jobs and still living with there baby Mama's.

Rusty: He had to ruin it with being a creepy submissive creep! (Later I thought maybe he could clean my house, had I had played my cards right)
We head on over to my place, ,he opens his bag reviling the cheapest fruit (Boones farm) wine. I was already wasted but "peach essence, Boones Farm" was exactly what I needed to stop the dry heaving I experiencing from looking at him.

I took a moment and went into the bathroom but when I came out, there he was with his large uncut wang in his giant sweaty hands.
Being that I was drunk I pretended I didn't notice and starting making out with him. He stops me, Looks deep into my drunk eyes and says "Please slap me and call me a bitch" I can’t get off unless you slap me.
Holding back vomit while he continues to bed for a slap, I pull away and tell him "yeah, I'm really not into that, see yourself out".
He loved talking about religion and cigarettes, who would have thought he liked being slapped before "sexy time".

Pink: Fucking Catholics.

Meth eyes writes us a letter! ???

2008-04-16T22:44:00.002-04:00

We received this crazed email at 2 am last night, from actor "JRM" <-- br="" duh.="" henry="" king="">

This is obviously fake but non the less HYSTERICAL! We hope you enjoyed this fine bit of literature.

Dear Pink:

Upon furious research, It has come to my attention that you are spreading rumors about me via your show.
There are a few thing's I'd like to clear up
1: I do not look like nor have I ever looked as though I have "Crystal Meth" eye. I'm only slightly offended by being addressed as meth eye or coke eyes.
Upon reading several reports containing these malicious lies, I have decided to tell my own story. Maybe that will clear things up for you and your "creativity killing" hounds.
Whilst my taping my "hit" TV series, I found it pertinent to hone my craft, for taking my craft seriously is all I care about. So, I honed and I honed until I got it just right.
Various life experience helps me to perfect my craft as you will understand upon reading further.
During the past few years, I became increasingly entrenched in the L.A. scene, I had been given the gift of "good looks" but it turned out this gift was also a curse. To understand fully you would need to go back to the beginning, I jest not, this is no "pun".
You see, I learned that as young lad that your home is not to be lost when you leave. In Dublin, I'd wistfully stare out upon the murky waters of the river Liffey and say to meself "I gotta get the hell
outta here". Now living in LA I realize that there is nothing I want more than to go back... Home.

Lying in me bed quietly singing "Sunday bloody Sunday" reminiscing about the days long past, days when I wished I was cool like Bono. Boyhood at home was much simple and uncomplicated, but the US was something "different".
Stepping off the steps of the great ocean liner into a vast abyss filled with the faces of the "unclean" and obviously unwashed. Foolish was I to imagine the streets would be paved with gold when in reality they were carpeted with cocaine, untamed homosexuality and aerobics whores.
I made haste in obtaining employment, tending bar at a prominent night club; frequented by famous directors, producers and their filthy agents. I was soon approached by the representative of a semi-prominent fashion house. They secured a contract with me, signed in a bathroom stall dotted in gobs of cocaine. Did I mention, the modeling contract was to purchase my services as a stunning and talented underwear model? Completely high on success and large sums of cash, I was able to purchase a somewhat luxurious estate, whereupon I kept several men fit and well fed comfortably housed in "Ikea brand" stables. You call them tiny homes, I call them stables... tomato... potato.
In those days, we loved a good time and being pampered, so I purchased supplies to fashion our very own horsetails which would be worn snug in our tight little arses. Who doesn't love crafting? Not I.
You want the truth about the "Meth Sheds" on my land? There you go, they were then and always were a hub for creative handy crafting.

I write this letter in the name of love, one man in the name of love!

Love Meth, I mean "me"..

Rusty: He see’s through you with his cokefrozen eyeballs

Pinky: Indeed.

Daddy searches google for???

2008-04-13T01:04:00.003-04:00

Dad's "google" some funny shit
-By Rusty

I was at there house… I saw that great big apple shooting dirty looks at me from across and empty apple and cocks kitchen…
That apple knew me, and wanted me to engage in its evil game… So I did, ya I did… Bill Gates doesn’t scare this dirty bitch.
SO I sat down and touched the keyboard it was smooth and cool and point and click my way to what I imagine will be sick and twisted, so I can then call my friends and laugh for awhile…
So starting the search I find a plethora of interesting searches

Domestications country collectibles
Heroin addiction
Fishing shit, stamps and the snow white woods man REALLY??
Mad thumbs.com you know what that is right
PORN
fingerhut
Opiate addiction
staff infection
staph? Daddy staph?
wtf is cellulites
Sears home center
Treatment facilities
fucking fish wallpaper and surgery

Dude domestications for fuck sake
this isn't even fun omg wow how disappointing
oh no WAIT… here we go…
hornyhousewives.something… the search is on for dirty Alice (maid) types cleaning house in there sexy French maid apron toting there much needed feather duster…

I guess that’s it… how lame

just condoms and lots of carmex chapstick cologne and masshealth shit

wow mom really loves shoes….

Jesus if I get this sane …kill me

Wait… no kill me

David Bowies son meets us downtown

2008-03-25T23:18:00.009-04:00

obscure

Rusty: going to Boston to catch the bus

Rusty: Central Square

Rusty: ok

Pink: ok

Pink: so one fine day in a lovely Massachusetts town...

Rusty: Yes, I have seen them do each other it’s a greasy awkward train to hell

Pink: I once was trapped under one of them and his tiny weenie peeny couldn’t get in so instead of screaming help rape I screamed Oh man, I won’t tell it will ruin your reputation…Ok moving along…

Rusty: to Boston via central square

Rusty: did we find that guy on the train in Boston?

Pink: we were planning on going to Harvard square

Pink: so we board the lovely 455 (the bus Rusty you pill popping slut)

Rusty: and this raunchy thin David Bowie-esque guy rode with us all the way until the theater district

Pink: haha

Rusty: he had one blue eye and one green eye

Rusty: it was a genetic defect he was defiantly David Bowie's illegitimate son

Pink: David Bowie is pissed, that his son was burned and beaten by Mick Jaggers evil wife, Bianca

Rusty: He tell’s us (random out of nowhere) his mother lit him on fire and threw him down the stairs

Pink: he started out with hi what are you kids up to??

Rusty: so now he has to use products but still it didn't go away

David pretends he doesn't know Bianca. Or at least, that he's not fucking her. (with Bianca Jagger) well well well, maybe there is truth to Rupert Bowies sad tale.

Pink: Bianca Jagger was his mother he said, Now I am thinking, she (Bianca) was upset because David was fucking Mick or vice versa, Bianca get’s pregnant while having a threesome with Mick and David, ( Bianca was pissed because her Husband Mick was dicking David during that whole dancing in the street fiasco) Bianca does not want David’s child or devil seed, so she waits until Rupert Bowie Jagger is a young adult and proceeds to set him on fire and through him down a large flight of stairs banning him for life… Leaving him scared and alone with nothing but his monthly cash supplement of 100k and a bag or proactive solution…

Rusty: he wanted us to go do coke with him in his hot tub

Rusty: or was it heroin

Pink: Coke and Heroin he just wanted a friend and a few hot bumps

Rusty: PRO DUCTS! (he kept talking about his products)

Rusty: hence why he was lost in Central Square

Pink: ok, so Rupert Bowie Jagger, has an accent, that cut’s through your brain like a steak Knife….

Rusty: yes he does he is English or insane one of those….

Pink: and seems to be lost in downtown Lynn pretty far away from London town if you ask me

Rusty: i thought maybe

Pink: he goes on this rampage, about why his father disowned him ( see reason above, Bianca threesome, stuff)

Rusty: you know they nickname everyone in England

Rusty: you will be cleo, you know you are so very cleo…. and he repeatedly called me cleo because he thought i looked like cleopatra

Rusty: angie annnnngie

Rusty: why did you throw jr. down the stayyyyyyy ayyyyyys!

Pink: haha

Rusty: angie annnnnngie why did you light him everywhere?

Rusty: with gasoline in your hand and a match in the other look at the tears in his two different colored eyyyyyyessssss

Pink: OH CHRIST

Pink: so kids.., says Rupert Bowie Jagger… here is my card it has a skyline beeper number on it

Pink: call me

Rusty: yeah we'll get right on that freak

Pink: and we will party in my hotel with my products, I want to rub my products all over you cleo and cunt whilst we get high

Rusty: dude i think we should have went and ripped off his products

Rusty: England has some good shit

Rusty: i think he did too

Pink: yes I would have shoved his proactive solution down my gothic pants

Rusty: dude so would i

Rusty: my cleopatra skin would have been so milky

Rusty: my white pasty gothic sheath

Pink: cleo wants my proactive solution

Pink: omg i was just going to type that

Rusty: lol!

Rusty: i am laughing so fucking hard lol

Pink: covered his face with your brown crocheted hat

Pink: hahahahaha

Rusty: lol!

Rusty: it wasn't brown

Rusty: it was maroon green and blue multicolored stripes

Rusty: it was fancy; i bought it at woolworth for a buck

Pink: omg that shit looked like shit, therefore brown by memory

Rusty: the coat was brown and corduroy

Pink: I know

Rusty: i loved that shit

Rusty: i was grungy fuck you lol

Rusty: i didn't wash my hair for a small period of time as well

Rusty: ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

Rusty: i just flashed a vision

Pink: nice... dirty bird

Rusty: yeah I was a dirty bastard

Rusty: for a short period of time

Pink: my products cost so much money, and I am in pain, tremendous amounts of pain. I just need to find a bag, do you have 5$ I can borrow?

Pink: I can pay you back, come to my hotel it's in Boston ( don’t remember the one, but it was by the Boston public garden…)

Pink: I will give you some of my products…my pour refining mask, is divine

Rusty: God he spent so much money on his "products" he could not afford a bag

Rusty: yeah we have to go buy some Georgia brown in powder blue(nail polish) now bye bye

Rusty: who invites seventeen year olds to their hotel room ewwwwwwwww,

Rusty: i worked at the shoe factory or i worked nowhere lol

Pink: hahahaaha

Pink: good times

Rusty: i loved the shoe factory..

Pink: Oh shit his name is Duncan, OMG that really was him… crazy

..Pink another blog for another day….

taxidermied cat

2008-03-25T09:58:00.006-04:00

Timothy: My uncle does very bizarre shit when driving and it totally freaks me out. I am so worried he will become like Mayo (a really old lady with dementia) and talk about dogs and animals and have Pica (that weird condition where demented ppl. are obsessed with eating non-food items...

I am going to this totally bizarre place tonight which you would LOVE. It's called "the morgue" and it's i But it's not a church-- the building is a church building, though. Elizabeth and I went inside once. Some of it was beautiful and some of it was just plain strange. The part full of flowers and HUGE GOLDEN BUDDHAS was cool and beautiful. But the parts that had pictures of hot German studs and bowls of fake blood were a bit off-- and what was really strange is that it is full of crucifixions-- big ones-- w/ skeletons on the cross that have HUGE dildos sticking out of them. The weird old fat dude in platforms (like Michael Alig platform shoes) said that when a man is crucified, he gets a huge erection??? HuH? WTF, i googled that after... I went in and there was nothing about it (back then)... He's just a very eccentric guy who is like 60 and dresses so wild-- and everything his place deals with is politics-- not religion. The fence surrounding the property is covered with signs that say nasty things about "Pres." Bush. So that's cool that they bash that Lame-O... I WONDER WHAT THEY'LL SERVE?? IT"S A DINNER PARTY. Bwahahahaha. And I am serious...

Pink: ok... Only you could say Pica and make me piss my pants... I mean I am laughing so hard... MAYO!
You uncle will be fine, Bettie drives like she is blind and has turrets, and she has managed to get by for like 12 years...Just think good thoughts about him.... and all will be well...

... I am having dreams and the next day they are coming true... WTF??? creepy I need to dream about winning the power ball and all will be KICK ASS, I will purchase an Island in the middle of the ocean and only about 5 people can go... you are so invited!!...

He said they get an erection WTF, he is so one of those guys that goes home to his Taxidermied cat and fucks it like its Dolly Parton... OMG...
We need to go to johns next week and go out to the pier and run when a rouge "wave" and or "bum" try's to rape us....

Timothy: lmao-- "He's one of those guys that goes home to his taxidermied cat and fucks it like it's Dolly Parton." I am so seriously laughing OUT LOUD. Woo Hoo- That was one hell of a dinner party. Literally, there was like an exhibition which was like going into a demented artist's haunted house: with skeletons fucking and dildos covered in fake blood, creepy music, Hindu gods with massive erections (as statues)... and there were all of these super-intellectuals there who are all SERIOUSLY CONVINCED that George Bush is the Anti Christ. They base this on Biblical Prophecy, The I Ching, and things going on in "Dream Dimensions"... NO, I AM NOT KIDDING. THE DINNER PARTY FROM HELL. And yet, these people were all very intelligent. Some were professors! It was very interesting, to say the least. The food was all, like gourmet and top notch. There was a lady there reading the Tarot who looked JUST like Miss Cleo i
You would have died, if you had gone we'd have another ten years of strange private jokes, easily!

Rate Me on BlogHop.com!

help?

Perplexing.

2008-03-16T18:08:00.014-04:00

Perplexing.

1. A person has allergies to everything (make sure you sneeze directly on them, will make up puff up like a fucking blowfish)

2. PEOPLE WHO FUCKING CRY for no reason, they get all hurt because you slapped em and called them a bitch, what's wrong with that? -Obviously Rusty.

3. When visitors show up unannounced when you're still sleeping, use your shit, then wake you and 'ask for food... then they stalk you until you feed them. Then they have the audacity to
ask for a ride home... they don't give gas money!!!

4. People who are clearly balding but try to grow their bangs out... WTF? BANGS? REALLY?

5. Dick Pics. They never look good, no matter what you tell yourself.

6. People who keep clearing their throat. Fuckers be straight hacking to gain a few seconds of "thinking time" before answering a question.