Raptors coverboys Marco Belinelli and Andrea Bargnani. (via Interbasket.net)

Okay, I can forgive the local morning show guy for fumbling the name of Toronto Raptors guard Marco Belinelli. After all, he’s a relatively new non-hockey player. But, as a service to the public (and to Belinelli), I present a list of things that, while similar in some ways, are NOT Belinelli.

From the home office in Ajax, Ontario, Canada, here is tonight’s Top 10 List — Things Mistaken for Belinelli:

10. Béla Lugosi. The foreign-born actor appeared in films by Ed Wood, the Don Nelson of directors (ill-fitting parts, eccentric cast).

9. Baklava. A dessert (i.e., not a starter) from Turkey.  Confused with new buddy Hedo?

8. Bulimic. Perhaps a mixup with former Raptors guard Roko Ukic, whose pose AltRaps once compared to an underfed fashion model.

7. Benigni. The Italian performer is popular overseas, but has yet to find sustained success in America. Also appreciated for his improvisational skills.*

6. Bocelli. He’s a “Favourite Specialist Performer,” but some criticize him for unevenness and lack of technique.*

5. Jelly Belly. Little shots of sweetness that you’d like to have more of, but probably shouldn’t.  

4. Bollini. Goes well with a few dishes. 

3. Bellini. A tall drink that’s popular with the ladies.

2. Farinelli. He must have felt castrated by his former coach. 

And the top thing mistaken for Belinelli:

1. Balboa. ‘Cause they look alike!

(* Thanks to Doc Naismith for his suggestions.)

Agree? Disagree? Wanna add to the list? Comment below.

You mentioned that you weren’t happy with your fantasy basketball team. How come?

I broke one of the first rules of Fantasy sports… in that, I’ve relied too much on rookies, and put way too much weight on guards, especially with the uncertainty that is the lower body of Al Jefferson.  Seeing Jamal Crawford play only 14 minutes in Atlanta’s season opener was downright frightening… Word that Anthony Randolph WILL get the start in GSW is encouraging, but I think I’ve got too many youngsters overall.  Oh, and I’m relying on the disgruntled former-Capt. Jack for a good chunk of my scoring.  See you in the cellar fellas, and lady (What up, Nat!?).

Tell me about “Got Game.” Was it hard to get a show about video games put on a sports radio station?

I’d like to say that “Got Game” is my baby… but sadly, I can only claim that I take care of it.  I’ve played video games all my life, and the opportunity to talk about both sports and gaming on the radio is an absolute blessing.  The show started up about 6 months ago, growing from Bryan Calhoun’s blog, to the epic 60 minute show that changes weekend time slots as frequently as Shaq misses free throws.  Yes, I understand that video games on a sports radio station might not be top-peg material… but we’ve got a wonderful and loyal fanbase that can thankfully follow along via podcast (available on our blog at fan590.com and on iTunes).

Gamers, hit me up on both PSN and XBL: I’m ZCooperstown (just like on twitter).

I like your bio on FAN590.com (”I’d prefer to pick up two assists than score a goal … anyday” — a man after my own heart). Could you tell me more about the series of events that led you to radio and The FAN 590?

My radio career has spanned about 8.5 years now.  I started off writing news for 680NEWS just before the tragic events of 9/11.  Needless to say, as a 20 year old getting into the biz, it was a great time for me to professionally cut my teeth.  Watching the best do their best under dire, ever-changing, circumstances was eye-opening and enlightening.  It’s certainly somewhat sad that a newsroom feeds off tragedy, and it’s partly that… along with love, and luck, that brought me to The FAN590.

The grind of news, traffic, weather, and entertainment reporting was starting to make me cabin-crazy (long, strange, hours of downright depressing info – and I’m not just talking about the weather here).  Thankfully, the Big Red Corporate Machine (Rogers) took over The FAN a handful of years ago.  When they needed overnight coverage for the Athens games, I stepped up… apparently impressed enough to get more opportunities… and I’ve been growing as a broadcaster ever since.  Hosting shows, reporting from Raptors games/practices (my true passion), and doing the updates have been fulfilling… but I’m curious about what’s next.

You indicated that you’re a newlywed. How does married life work with your FAN 590 shifts? I assume you have odd hours.

I did just get married in July.  Thanks for inquiring.  Life at home is great.  When I get me some life.  I assure you, the most difficult part of my job is not watching sports.  It’s balancing the hours of work with the elusiveness of leisure time with the lady.

Like a lot of people involved in sports broadcasting, my hours are pretty damn loopy.  I’ll go from working an evening shift, which will sometimes end at 2 or 3 in the AM, to coming back to the station about 6 hours later for another go-round.  It’s tough… but as long as the lady can tolerate it, so can I.

Got any dirt on Eric Smith and Jack Armstrong? What are they really like?

I can honestly say that what you hear is what you get with both Eric and Jack.  Sometimes, whether it be TV or radio, certain “personas” might not match that individual… but those two are pretty genuine.  As for dirt… can’t say I’ve got much on them. Oh, except you know how Jack comes off like he doesn’t tweet? …not true.  He’s actually up to 34,980 tweets (as of Friday at 5:52pm), as RaptorJack.

…Actually, that’s a lie.  I’m sorry.  @RaptorJack is apparently some dude who hails from Guilherme, Rentroia.  That’s not him.

What do you think of E’s obsession with bringing the NBA back to Vancouver?

I think Eric’s hopes of a return to Vancity is well-founded.  Clearly that disastrous Grizzlies team wasn’t going to draw many fans… but times have changed and the game has grown immensely north of the border since.  It’s a beautiful city (which I used to visit at least once a year), with fantastic, passionate, people… and they deserve something more than just the Canucks, Lions (seriously, do any of you watch the CFL?), and the WHL.

Who are your favourite Raptor(s) on this season’s squad, and why?

I’m not gonna lie… I’m pretty stoked to see what DeMar DeRozan can bring this season.  He’s obviously got the flash-factor, with game-changing dunks and block-ability… so there’s that… I’m a big fan of Jarrett Jack, and what I’ve learned about him as a person.  He’s the kind of guy who seems like he can keep a locker room together through tough times.  I’ve also got to admit that I wasn’t sold on Antoine Wright, but speaking to the guy has me buying what he’s selling.  The guy’s grown a lot in his short time in the game.  I could keep going, because with this team… there are a lot of solid guys.  But I’m gonna stick with the newbies for now.

You said your true passion is reporting on the Raptors. Any hopes or plans for expanding that career-wise?

There are a lot of ideas that float around in my brain… but given the economic uncertainty of the times, I’m trying to keep things practical and realistic.  You never know what lies ahead… but for right now, let’s just say that I’m hoping to do more of the same.  However… play by play would be a dream come true.

I have no video game system currently. Which one would you recommend?

If you don’t have a system, and you’re looking at getting in on the game… first off, what the hell kept you?  But more importantly… if you could only have one, I’d say go with the PS3.  It’s more technologically savvy, the top-quality exclusives have seemingly swayed Sony’s way… Either way, you’ll be in good shape… but with games like Uncharted 2 (and its unbelievable predecessor), Infamous, Little Big Planet… and that thing called a Blu-ray player, my vote goes to PS3.

NBA Live or NBA 2K, and why?

2K all the way.  Graphics, fluidity, presentation, realism… it’s all there.  Live got much closer this year (with a great ball-handling mechanic), but you can’t go wrong with 2K10.

Thanks, Zack, for answering my questions. Let’s see where we’re at when we meet in our league’s Week 10.

Remember to check out “Got Game,” and follow Zack on Twitter.

Previous Rappings:

• Eric Koreen of the National Post
• Raps Fan of Raptors Republic
  

"Marco Belinelli fly to crush." (Repubblica.it)

That’s what it says in this Italian article here, according to Google Language Tools. Y’see, that’s why I use a human translator.

Anyway, Marco’s line: 10/1/1, 1 3PT, on 50% shooting and just over 19 minutes of play. And he definitely would’ve crushed a fly with the above dunk.

UPDATE: Raptors have exercised the 2010-2011 contract option on Belinelli. Coincidence? I think not.

This is part of a continuing series of Q&A’s and chats with GMs in my fantasy league. In this one, I ask Raps Fan of Raptors Republic about his websites, the potential Big Bosh Problem and more.

Pete Marasmitch: The Raptors FANtasy League season opens with the two of us matched up. Who are you most excited about on your team?

Raps Fan: Gotta go with Brandon Roy. He is going to have a very big year, now that he can play off the ball. 25PTS 6AST 5REB sounds about right to me.

PM: And what about this year’s Toronto Raptors? Which player would you especially like to succeed, and why?

RF: Easy — Andrea Bargnani. The Raptors have very little chance of getting to the next level with him doing nothing but dropping 17 a game. If he can grab 8-10 boards, I would be a happy camper.

I also am rooting for Amir Johnson. The kid is raw and goes after it. I love seeing big guys who are aggressive on the boards and on the low blocks.

PM: Any thoughts on the 2-guard-by-committee situation?

RF: I hate anything by committee … I’m a dictator kind of guy. I’m just biding my time, hoping Dave Hopla can work the kinks out of DeMar DeRozan’s shot, and he becomes a legit 2.

PM: Say Chris Bosh leaves. To you, is that the end of the Raptors’ world? What could Bryan Colangelo do to fill that huge hole?

RF: There is nothing BC could do to fill the hole if Bosh leaves.

He can only do two things to make things right: 1) sign Bosh to a max deal, or 2) trade Bosh for, say, Amar’e, and up him as soon as he lands.

Raps Fan of Raptors Republic

PM: What events led to the birth of Raptors Republic and its TrueHoop affiliation?

RF: Josh (Dinosty) got Zarar (Arsenalist.com), Scott (AltRaps.com) and me (RaptorsTalk.com) together and said the sum of the parts would be greater than the whole, and he was right. We all became friends over the last couple of years from being on each other’s blogs, so we thought this would be a great way to share the load. From the get-go, we had incredible support from our readers and have been growing ever since.

Kevin Arnovitz and Henry Abbott came knocking one day, and said they liked what we were doing with the blog (especially the Stat-O-Meter 3000), and the rest is history.

PM: Who designed that trippy, Trekkie RR symbol?

RF: We have a kid (LyNx — his bio here) who does all our stuff and sends us an inflated bill at the end of the month.

PM: Tell me more about RaptorsTalk.com. What motivated you to start that site?

RF: I started RaptorsTalk.com because after every game, my buddies and I would break every aspect of the game down, and get into huge arguments. So I decided to put myself out there and document everything.

PM: Please answer a question I didn’t ask.

RF:
Q: What did you think of “The Wrestler“?

A: I’m really not a fan of Darren Aronofsky movies. They don’t go anywhere, and I don’t get what he is trying to say, or the point of them. He scores them nicely though … love dramatic orchestra music.

Thanks again to Raps Fan. Check out his posts and follow him on Twitter.

Thanks to mookie from A Stern Warning for the translation work.

Francesco Cuzzolin, who has come from Benetton Treviso, is now with the Raptors to act as trainer.

How is your experience going so far?

Super. Truly beyond all expectations since arriving. With different working methods and different ideas in terms of administration and off-the-court, it was not easy to put everything into practice immediately.

As a third of the team is European, it’s really easy to work with them. And of course, there was immediately great harmony with the two Italians.

There are still many things to fix, but we are working well. The team is young and has nine new members. It is only a matter of time. We believe in what we’re doing.

Maurizio, Hedo and Francesco. (via HTSpor.com)

What inspired you to accept this new adventure?

Life is full of challenges and this was something unexpected, but it was something I could not leave alone. I take the view that you can’t live life with regrets. I was convinced that my credibility in Italy and Europe could be questioned, so I accepted this opportunity with open arms. It came at a time in my life where I could make choices, so I did. [mookie's note: I think he's implying here -- if I translated correctly -- that he needed validation by taking on the NBA after Europe. Could be wrong though.]

Would you accept it anyway if you were going to work in a team with no Italian connection?

I worked in Russia and Latvia. The need is not to have European players, the need is to have a coaching staff that believes in the trainer that works in direct contact with the players.

Tell us about your relationship with Andrea Bargnani.

I’ve worked with Andrea for seven years. I feel a bit like an older brother to him. We worked out during the Summer and firstly we have a professional relationship and secondly a friendship that has solidifed over time.

Does he have room for improvement physically?

Yes, he does, because Andrea has not been well-endowed physically. So everything that you give him is something that can improve him. Andrea is a tactical weapon that can be used in different roles. He must improve his strength and his centre of gravity, as he has to compete against players that are heavier than him and shorter [mo0kie's note = have a lower centre of gravity] than him. It’s a job that takes time and we hope sooner [rather than] later to see the improvements.

What did you think of Marco Belinelli?

Marco missed a bit at the end of last season that caused him to lose condition. This summer he played with the national team and has also worked to get back in shape. He is not yet in “top shape” that I would want him to be, to be competitive at this level. That’s why, on Saturday, his day off, that we also got in the gym to train. I’ve known Marco since he was at Virtus with the cadets [juniors], and he’s a great guy.

DeMar Derozan seems to be an “animal” athletically.

For me, it’s a bitter wood [Italian saying, for a wood that you can't yet use on the fireplace] that needs to be invented, from the point of view that he has a lot to improve in athleticism and has great potential, but also many weaknesses. He’s a boy and does not have a solid physique that will allow us to increase his load exponentially. We’re working hard and he’s another guy with lots to give, so he should be kept away as he’s very young, even from the standpoint of physicality and athleticism. But he’s a great piece and a great person.

In an 82 game NBA season, you also work [the rest of] the year — what can be done to prevent accidents?

Prevention and preparation are parallel — they are not two different worlds. Logically, 82 games gives you a period of time that is very restricted. And there is very little time between trips and workouts. The quality of what we do is crucial. That players have to work out even during the season on their fitness. Of course, different people require different amounts of work. We must differentiate the work as much as possible for this reason.

Steroids: Mark Cuban has in recent days made a statement on the possible use of steroids to heal injuries. What do you think?

I read those statements. Maybe, I’m just saying, what he said has been a bit manipulated. Because there are medications that contain steroids that are prescribed by doctors, but I am of the view that one cannot generalise and we speak about these things, we must have a specific notion of cause. This is all I will say: addressing the steroids issue in a superficial way is a risky thing because there are many students who might misunderstand. Again, there are structures, there are doctors who have the right skills to be able to prescribe this type of drug and patient information. But to say that can be used with ease to …. is wrong. That’s it.

LeBron James is convinced that there is a problem with steroids in the NBA.

But he is so strong that they would definitely be needed!

Joking aside, in basketball this is an idea that doesn’t stand. Your skills make the difference. You can be someone who is not physically a giant and have those skills that allow you to soar up high. In some disciplines it can make a difference when the physical weight and power are the key elements, like for those that play defensive line in American football, or in track where you have to make a single type of movement. In my opinion, [in] basketball [it] is the most stupid, because the risks that you run to get that result are not going to be compensated by the satisfaction you have by improving your technical skills. So why do it? You don’t become a champion in basketball by weighing five or so pounds heavier.

Thanks again to mookie. Be sure to follow him @asternwarning.

Pete Marasmitch: I enjoyed your hair-raising piece, a.k.a. Bryan Colangelo’s Personal Vendetta. How goes the faux-hawk? Are you sporting the fedora, 24-7?

Eric Koreen: The faux-hawk lives. (Although I’m writing this a few days before the season starts. I could have evened it out by the time this is published.) I have worn a hat just once, and am now pretty comfortable with it. I don’t like it, but I’ve made my peace. Amir Johnson told me he did me a favour, while Sherman Hamilton told me about three weeks after the cut that the hair was at the ideal length. (Although, perhaps I should not be putting too much stock into Sherm’s thoughts on hair.) And if I do cut my hair soon, it will be legitimate: Johnson cut his hair a week before the season started, although he did apologize to me for leaving me hanging.

PM: In your behind-the-scenes view of the Raptors, what are some things about the players, coaches, management, etc., that might surprise the average fan? (Feel free to counter-attack B.C. and Amir Johnson.)

EK: There’s not much I can share here that’s particularly interesting, but I will say that Johnson, derided for his work ethic in the past, has stayed late almost every day of the pre-season. Maurizio Gherardini likes his dark humour, and is kind of the feet-on-the-ground yang to Colangelo’s always-hopeful yin. There is also far less defiant nudity in a basketball locker room than in a hockey or soccer locker room, and I’m fine with that.

PM: Please share a funny anecdote from your time as a beat writer.

EK: Jose Calderon has a reputation as a mundane quote, and that’s fair. Players don’t owe us anything, and I certainly don’t hold this against a player like Calderon, especially considering English is not his first language. But that doesn’t mean he’s devoid of personality. Two seasons ago, during the winter that featured unrelenting snow, Calderon was late for a game. When he arrived, he went on a two-minute rant about how drivers in this city over-react to snow, driving cautiously well past the point of necessity. He was not mean-spirited; I’ve never seen him be a jerk. But he was certainly enthused by our inability to cope with the conditions as a city, and it was damned entertaining.

PM: Do you regret missing the Sam Mitchell years? What nickname would he have given you?

EK: I didn’t miss all of the Mitchell years. I became full time in January 2008, so I got 11 months of Smitch — minus the summer, of course. It wasn’t quite enough time for us to form much of a coach-reporter relationship as he had with Doug Smith or Michael Grange, but I think he called me Goldilocks a few times. He was half-right. 

PM: Who are your sleepers from this edition of the Raptors, and why?

EK: With the nature of the Raptors’, errr, fervent fanbase, and the amount of money Colangelo tossed around this summer, I’m not sure anybody on this roster can be considered a sleeper. But my favourite thing the Raptors did this summer was sign Jarrett Jack. Their second unit was just brutal last year, and Jack is poised, and up to this point in his career, he has been productive.

One of my biggest problems with this team, as constituted, is the lack of offensive punch off the bench. I think they hope Marco Belinelli would fill that role, but I was not impressed with his pre-season body of work, and remain unsold. They’ll need someone to contribute offensively off the bench, other than Jack. I like Antoine Wright’s demeanour, but I’m not sure that’s him.

PM: What were the events that led you to become a beat writer for the National Post? Did you ever seriously consider a different career?

EK: To answer the second question first, ever since I about 16 or 17, I had tunnel vision toward sports reporting. As somebody who grew up in Toronto when the Raptors were just starting, as far as beat reporting goes, this is as good as it gets for me. I’m not sure I want to be in sports for 20 more years, but there are more good days than bad days on this job, and I think that’s better than most people can say.

As for how I got here, I started as an editorial assistant as The Canadian Press when I was 18, the summer after my first year at university (Ryerson, journalism). I did that for a year and a half’s worth of weekends (nothing good happens on weekends in university, right?), and then quit, had a miniature life crisis, then got a job at the Post sports section, doing a little bit of everything. I hung around there for a while, long enough for them to gain some trust in me, and I spent six weeks in the winter of 2007  interning there, which meant far more chances to write, including some Raptors stuff.

After I finished school (not to mention an appendicitis scare; I started the Toronto sports year of appendicitis in which Andrea Bargnani and Roy Halladay also suffered from the same ailment) I interned for the Post for the summer. I stayed on in a freelance role, and Matthew Sekeres, who was briefly the Raptors reporter, left the Post in around November to go be the Globe’s sports guy in Vancouver. I got the job at that point. (Matt recommended me, so I owe him a thank you.)

PM: Who are you most excited about in your Raptors FANtasy team lineup, and why?

EK: Durant! I co-run a keeper fantasy league with some friends, and I drafted Durant in the fourth round of his rookie season. He has been on my team for the last two years, and he is the only player in the league I can no longer write objectively about. (I’m joking about that. Kind of.)

Elsewhere, I thought getting Caron Butler in the third round was good, and Troy Murphy in the fourth round was absurd value. It’s easy not to like his game, but he was a points-rebounds double-double last year, with 45% three-point shooting. That last number will probably go down, but still, I was very pleased with that pick. I keep waiting for Al Horford to blow up, and that could happen this year. I was excited to get Allen Iverson as low as I got him. It’s a risky pick, but so is anything in the 10th round. If one of D.J. Augustin and Mike Conley has a good year, I think I have a chance, although I’m not sure I have the requisite hustle stats. That’s always my blind spot.

PM: You talk a lot about TV in your personal blog (A Snack and an Ego Stroke) and on Twitter (@ekoreen). What are your favourite shows? How do you feel about the final season of Lost?

EK: Oh, how you’re going to regret asking me that question. My two favourite shows on television are Friday Night Lights (inside every cynical sportswriter is a beating heart that is dying to feel good about athletes and coaches; FNL feeds that, and gives interesting portrayals of small-town life, too) and Chuck (as far as I know, it’s the only comedy-action-romance-straight-up-drama hybrid with unremitting ’80s pop culture references on television.) Yes, I suppose I’m doomed to love poorly rated shows. I also enjoy new comedies Community and Modern Family. I liked a pair of little-seen comedies from last year, Better Off Ted and Party Down, as well as stalwarts How I Met Your Mother and 30 Rock. If we’re talking all-time (or at least this decade), I loved both Veronica Mars (Buffy with a little more heart and more propulsive serialization) and like everyone else, The Wire. The latter has kind of ruined cable shows for me. The Wire is great, but so much effort was required for it to really kick in that I’m just too lazy to give Mad Men or Breaking Bad a chance. I know they’ll be great, but I feel like I need to clear my schedule for a month to give them a shot.

As for Lost, I’m a fan, although not a huge one. The only season I can say I really loved was the fourth. They changed up the formula just enough, but were still telling compelling character stories that year. I like my cult television, but the sci-fi-ness of Season 5 sort of lost me. And I stand by the notion that Seasons 2 and 3 were kind of a waste of time.

I think Lost is more plot-driven at this point than character-driven, and that’s perhaps why I can’t embrace it as much as people seem to think I should. (And I don’t think many of the characters are that compelling; the only two I really care about are Desmond and Penny. Sun and Jin used to be in that group, but they’ve been too de-emphasized lately. I also think Ben is one of the more overrated characters in TV history; he’s more of a plot device than a character, but that’s a whole different conversation.)

Despite all of that, I’m hopeful for this season. I’m positive they’ve left themselves with too little time to address all the questions they’ve asked. But there should be enough time to resolve the major questions as well as give resolutions for the main characters. As long as they have the guts not to end with an abrupt fade to black, I’ll be good.

PM: Thanks, Eric. Looking forward to our Week 2 fantasy matchup. Go, Channing Frye!

Don’t forget to check out A Snack and an Ego Stroke, @ekoreen, and Eric’s work at the National Post.

I predict the FG% will be low in this league.

Today’s a special day: The draft begins in the Raptors FANtasy League, where Toronto Raptors fans, bloggers and media collide.

Here is the complete list of fantasy GMs vying for that coveted RFL Championship Trophy*, in draft order, along with links to their sites and Twitter accounts:

1. Dr. J. Naismith, Raptors Forum, @RaptorsForum
2. Romes, Hip Hoop Junkies & Hoop Heads North, @romyaquino
3. AltRaps, The AltRaps Blog, @altraps
4. James Borbath, Dino Nation Blog, @dinonationblog
5. Nat, Heels on Hardwood, @Nat77
6. Eric Koreen, National Post & A Snack and an Ego Stroke, @ekoreen
7. Raps Fan, Raptors Republic, @RapsFan
8. Vicious D, Raptors HQ, @RapHQVicious
9. Cuzzy, Cuzoogle, @cuzoogle
10. Me
11. Tim Chisholm, 3 in the Key on TSN.ca, @timpchisholm
12. Zack Cooper, FAN590, @ZCooperstown

And here’s the neat thing for those of you who care about the above people and/or fantasy basketball: You can watch the picks unfold in real time on this Google Spreadsheet!

The draft will be going on for days, so keep checking back to follow the action, and to praise or pan our choices in the comments below.

* No, there is no real trophy.

Rap-scratch fever prompted me to check out the latest in Toronto Raptors merchandise at Big Fly Sports’ NBA shop. Boy, was I surprised to see these pricey items:

Reduced size for your protection.

Toronto Raptors Vince Carter autographed 8 x 10 photo (above)

Carter in a white Raps jersey, autographed 8 x 10

Carter-autographed Sports Illustrated from March 1998.

I’m no memorabilia collector, so I know I won’t be buying these. Would you? Do you look back fondly on those VC glory days? Have you forgiven and forgotten those Half-Man, Half-Effort nights? I’d love to hear from you, because you’re obviously a wonderful, loving human being.

Share your favorite VC memories and try to re-ignite that spark in the bitter members of our brethren. Comment below or tweet @Marasmitch.

(And if you want to buy anything at Big Fly Sports’ NBA shop, be sure to use the promo code PETEMARA for 10% off!)

And I must say, all that mental kneading was worthwhile. My initial idea was more of a conversation between Marcus Banks and Patrick O’Bryant, and was inspired by the fact that both of them are shoo-ins for the inactive list. What will they talk about at the end of the bench in their fancy suits? Maybe how P.O.B. ought to capitalize on the final year of this contract, maybe his final year in the N.B.A.?

But once I gathered up all the comic-worthy photos, it was clear that it was going to be more Patty-centric.

Besides – and you might find this odd – there are no photos out there of Banks in Raptors game gear. Hmm!

Below are those ten ideas to the best of my recollection, since theScore.com has decided to demolish and re-build their blog site. I broke the mold, people.

10. Howling at the Moon. Dunk while wearing a werewolf costume, handed to him by Michael J. Fox. [Pete's note: Bill Simmons would've loved that.]

9. Moonlighting. Vault over Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd, with that insipid theme song playing in the background, which is pretty distracting.

8. Moonstruck. Vault over Cher and Nicholas Cage. Big temptation there just to crash into ‘em.

7. Mooncake. With a mooncake in his non-shooting hand, taking a bite while in mid-air. The Chinese Torontonians will love it.

6. Moonrays. Line up the garden-gussying Noma Moonrays to form a runway to the hoop. Take a long running start. Spread out arms for effect.

5. Moonsault. Bring in WWE star, Toronto’s own Edge, and a wrestling ring. Stick them under the basket. Dunk, then land on top of Edge. In the words of King Kong Bundy, “Five! Five!”

4. Moonwalking (NASA approved). This one’s inspired by Eric Smith, but instead of an astronaut’s jumpsuit, why not go all out and wear the spacesuit, helmet and all? Surely the judges will appreciate the degree of difficulty.

3. Moonwalking (Thriller edition). Red leather jacket? Check. Sequined glove? Check. Dunk Contest crown? Check.

2. Full Moon. A one-handed dunk, since Jamario needs the other hand to yank down his shorts.

1. Moon Jumped Over the Cow. This one’s inspired by a fan in a Raptors forum. My idea: put Jamario in an outfit like those Ontario dairy farmers’. He’d be chillin’.

Related: Pre-Emptive Headline Puns by Howie The Hype Guy
Also related: NBA.com’s Dave McMenamin weighs in on my list (see Overall Rankings, #5).

Related greeting: Hi, Cleveland Cavaliers fans!