You might not have realised it, but men are being oppressed. In many walks of life, they are routinely discriminated against in ways women are not. So unrecognised is this phenomenon that the mere mention of it will appear laughable to some.

That, at least, is the premise of a book by a South African philosophy professor which claims that sexism against men is a widespread yet unspoken malaise. In The Second Sexism, shortly to be published in the UK, David Benatar, head of the philosophy department at Cape Town University, argues that “more boys drop out of school, fewer men earn degrees, more men die younger, more are incarcerated” and that the issue is so under-researched it has become the prejudice that dare not speak its name.

Do Benatar and Farrell have a point? A handful of statistics seems to bear out their thesis. Not only are men more likely to be conscripted into military service, to be the victims of violence, and to lose custody of their children in the event of a divorce, but tests conducted in 2009 by the programme for international student assessment, carried out by the OECD thinktank, showed that boys lag a year behind girls at reading in every industrialised country. They work longer hours, too: in 2010 the Office for National Statistics found that men in the UK work an average of 39 hours a week, compared with 34 for women. Healthwise, men develop heart disease 10 years earlier than women, on average, and young men are three times more likely to commit suicide.

It’s great to see a book on men’s issues gain some international traction. Warren Farrell has of course been the pioneer, but other academics and authors joining the ranks leads to more credibility.

The statistics are becoming increasingly well known. Men earn a lower percentage of college degrees than women. Male unemployment is reaching alarming heights. Fewer and fewer men get married (in the US and the UK alike); seemingly more interested in video games, beer and hanging out with friends.

What is going on here? Are men prolonging their boyhood indefinitely? Do men need to man up?

There is more complexity to these questions than meets the eye. Summing up the solution as men needing to “man up” bypasses this complexity and implies that there is no knowledge to be gained here – only a return to the manhood ideal of the 1950s. But going down that route will not lead to a transformation of men, nor a transformation of society.

We all make our own choices, and we all have to live with our own choices. Few people would disagree with such a statement. However, no decision is made in a vacuum. Depending on the context some choices may seem overwhelmingly easy to make, while others require jumping through hoops and going against the flow.

So what is the context of young men making choices today? Why has the choice of ignoring manhood (and marriage) become so much more common? Understanding young men’s view of the society they find themselves in is vital, if we want to help more young men to actually enter a form of mature manhood.

I believe there are a number of factors that end up affecting the life choices of young men:

1) A lack of guidance from older men.

Male teachers are disappearing. Single mothers are increasing (PDF) in numbers – a process that may well escalate due to single women insemination. Fathers who live with their children still tend to work away from home and take primary responsibility for providing for the family. Where are boys to connect with older men? How can the wisdom, nurturing and yes – even firm guidance when needed – be passed on?

2) The taboo around discussing men’s unique abilities.

You’re allowed to call women more peaceful, more empathetic, more cooperative and less violent than men. However, it’s considered sexist to say that men are more goal oriented, more analytical and more interested in achieving greatness in the workplace. This double standard means that it’s hard to give young boys role models, or help them feel a sense of pride in their coming manhood.

3) Women’s sexual revolution

In the 1950s the guidelines for the sexes were easy. Men needed to find a job, women needed to be feminine and everyone was expected to keep sexual connections to a minimum before marriage. Then everything changed… The sexual revolution means that we now have a whole marketplace for dating, hooking up or finding a relationship.

Young men of today find themselves asking questions such as: Should I get married or stay in the sexual marketplace? Do I want to marry a woman who is 30+ years old and has had 30+ partners? Evolutionary speaking men have been programmed to bond with younger and (seemingly) not too experienced women. Today, these male thoughts are considered sexist (and not without reason), but it’s well nigh impossible to change ancient programming overnight.

Conclusion

Men need to feel that they are uniquely needed and uniquely qualified to be fathers, role models and long term romantic partners. They need to hear this message from older men, from society and from young women. Decades of feminism has meant that we stopped thinking about men’s needs and the development paths leading to a healthy male identity. The time has come to reverse that trend and show young men that without them society, culture and even our planet, has no future.

This talk is especially interesting from a gender perspective, since she addresses the specific types of shame that men and women tend to struggle with. For women it’s more of a case of wanting to be perfect, and wanting to handle everything from having a nice home to keeping it together at work. For men it’s about always being strong and not showing any weakness.

So how does this relate to gender issues? To feminism? Well, feminism (combined with consumerism and the traditional female gender role) can be a driver of female shame, since it tells women that they can have it all, they can do it all, and perhaps they even should do and have it all.

For men, the obligation to always be strong (in order to avoid shame) means that it is very hard to address men’s issues. Talking about men’s issues feels like admitting to weakness, even though it’s really about vulnerability and being human.

Enough said. I leave you with her talk. Let me know what you think in the comments.

A man slaps a woman, the men reject the women and a man is totally self-centered when a woman talks to him.

The men have to deal with various kinds of unwanted attention from the women, as well as some touching.

All in all a pretty enlightening clip.

Tom Martin began studying an MSc in ‘Gender, Media and Culture’ at The London School of Economics in the 2009/10 term, but withdrew six weeks into the course, filing a £50,000 damages claim against the elite university, for ’sex discrimination, breach of contract, misleading advertising, misrepresentation, and breach of the Gender Equality Duty Act.’

It’s interesting to see how the gender students don’t actually know much about their own subject.

I’m impressed by Tom Martin’s ability to handle strong criticism and aggression. I hope his case gets even more attention when the court proceedings start.

(Thanks to ConZor for sending this in.)

I am one of two coordinators for Sweden, and last year we marked the day for the first time by handing out flyers in Malmö.

2012 INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY: HELPING MEN AND BOYS LIVE LONGER, HAPPIER, HEALTHIER LIVES

In the run up to International Men’s Day 2012 (Monday 19th November) we’re asking supporters of the day to focus on five key challenges that will help us improve the health and wellbeing of men and boys all over the world.

Some of the universal health issues that men and boys in all countries around the globe face include lower life expectancy, difficulty accessing mental health services, educational disadvantages, lack of male role models and tolerance of violence against men and boys.

To help us focus our collective minds upon helping men and boys live longer, happier, healthier lives, the five key challenges that the International Men’s Day team is inviting men and women all over the world to address are:

1. IMPROVING MEN’S LIFE EXPECTANCY:

From the moment a boy is born he can expect to live a shorter life than his female counterparts in all but four countries on the planet. There is also a huge gap in life expectancy between rich and poor countries with men in Mozambique reaching an average age of 38 while in Iceland, Israel and Switzerland men live twice as long until the age of 80. There are also huge gaps in life expectancy within countries, with men born in the poorest parts of the United Kingdom, for example, dying 10 years sooner than their fellow countrymen in the wealthiest parts of the capital city. Boys are not genetically programmed to die young so our first challenge this International Men’s Day is to ask countries taking part to consider how we can help all men and boys live longer, happier, healthier lives – no matter how poor they are and no matter what country they are born in.

2. HELPING MEN GET HELP:

Every year poor mental health drives over three quarters of a million people to commit suicide – and around two thirds of them are males. Men and boys all over the world can find it more difficult to access help for mental and emotional health problems and most prison populations include a significant number of men with mental health issues. This International Men’s Day we are asking participating countries to consider how we can help more men and boys get the help and support they need and to take action on behalf of the hundreds of thousands of men who will take their own lives this year.

3. IMPROVING BOYS’ EDUCATION:

Poor education is linked to poor health outcomes later in life so improving boys’ education will also help men and boys live longer, happier healthier lives. This International Men’s Day we are asking people to explore why boys in richer countries are underperforming girls and also less likely to be in education, and why tens of millions of boys in poorer countries are still not completing a primary education? How can we address truancy and poor literacy rates which leave boys prone to adult unemployment, substance abuse, obesity, depression and poverty? What action can we take to focus on boys’ education in a way that closes the gap between girls and boys, addresses the gaps between rich boys and poor boys, and helps us to improve the long-term health and wellbeing of all men and boys.

4. TACKLING TOLERANCE OF VIOLENCE AGAINST MEN AND BOYS:

Violence has a major impact on men’s health all over the world. Every year over half a million people die from violence and 83% of them are men and boys. The same proportion of the global burden of disease (ill-health, disability or early death) from violence is borne by boys and men. [1] Yet while there are now a number of deserved global campaigns to tackle violence against women and girls, there are no such campaigns to help men and boys. Why are we so tolerant of violence and abuse against boys and men and why do we still tolerate a world where we send boys and young men to fight wars on behalf of the adults in power? This International Men’s Day we are asking for actions we can take to help men and boys live in a less violent world and challenge our collective global tolerance of violence against men and boys.

5: PROMOTING FATHERS AND MALE ROLE MODELS

Fathers and male role models play a vital role in helping boys make a healthy, happy and positive transition from boyhood to manhood. How can we give boys a right to family life that gives them an equal opportunity to know and experience both their father and mother and ensure that their role as a future father is equal to girls’ role as future mothers? Giving boys a range of positive life choices in terms of family, work and leisure can help us reduce the number of boys whose choices are limited and end up poor, illiterate, unemployed, homeless, imprisoned and isolated. This International Men’s Day we are asking what actions we can take to give all boys access to a variety of male role models and ensure their country’s laws and practices give them an equal right to fatherhood, with all the support they need to be the best fathers they can be.

Addressing each of these challenges will help us to help men and boys all over the world to live longer, happier, healthier lives, which is why we are inviting supporters of International Men’s Day to join us in taking on one of more of these five key challenges in 2012.

What about you men out there? Have you created or even built your own space? As for me I have my own apartment so all of it is my space, but I’m pretty sure I would like a space of my own if I lived with a family.

For those of you who think that manspaces are discriminatory towards women, please know that there is no rule against creating a womanspace. The reason that it appeals more to men is likely that women are usually in charge of decorating the home, and the norm for a cozy home is generally much more feminine than masculine.

Whatever your position is in gender debate and equality, you must understand that stories like mine count. You can’t dismiss them. And I don’t care who has it worse or not, dubious statistics included.

I exist and deserve to be heard and supported in equal measure. Casting it all off because of stereotypical notions about girls and women incapable of harm and how it would take away from all those supports that exist out there for females in need lends credence to the isolation men like me don’t deserve to be put through. Life should be about pleasure, not an endurance test everyday where all that matters is survival of the fittest and a tightening of the bootstraps.

Update: Tim has had another article published as well, called Survivor’s Tales: Victims of Abuse, Come Forward. He is now opening the door for everyone to tell their story. If you have a story to tell, please add it to the comment section of the article!

Generally, Scandinavia regards social constructionism as far more important than genetics and biology – but the episodes produced by Eia paint a different picture.

All kinds of phenomena are investigated in seven different episodes, with the main theme being that biology is far too important to be ignored, and very often a key determinant in predicting outcomes. Part one is about gender, so obviously that may be the most interesting one  – but all of them are well worth watching.

The good part is that all seven episodes are now available online, with English subtitles. Here are the links:

1. The Gender Equality Paradox
2. The Parental Effect
3. Gay/straight
4. Violence
5. Sex
6. Race
7. Nature or Nurture

If you are asked to enter a password, type in hjernevask.

The key points are:

• Ability: The ratio of men to women is 2 to 1 in the most gifted group (the top one percent). But the ratio of male to female math professors is 4 or 5 to 1. So ability cannot explain why there aren’t more women in math intensive professions.
• Discrimination: Women are not discriminated against when they look for math intensive jobs.
• Women’s preferences and choices: Women prefer becoming medical doctors or veterinarians instead of mathematicians or engineers. Women also opt out of the tenure-line.

Read their full paper here.

Thanks to Søren for sending this in!