P Quotes Online

Mothering Skills

2011-09-30T00:01:00.000-04:00

[While working at Target as a cashier, a mother comes up with her young son in the cart crying over some toys]

Mother: [to son] Don't worry, he just has to scan them and you'll get them right back. [she hands me the toys and says] He thinks he's getting these, but he's not, get rid of them.

[she continues to reassure her son that he would get the toys back until leaving the register]

2010-11-03T16:20:00.002-04:00

Archived from geocities.com/bandgeekquotes

Angela: [her thoughts on Dr. Wham] "It doesnt taste like Dr. Pepper. It's like a Cream Soda that wants to be a Dr Pepper. It's like a wigger!!"

Michele's mom: "There are really weird people in band, and so are parents."

Spencer: [telling jokes] "Susan walks into a bar...and says 'Ow.'"

[Kelly and Susan talking about how they like Michele's mom]

Susan: "Your mom's funny."

Michele: "My mom has to be funny, she likes people. I don't have to be funny because I hate them."

2010-11-01T16:20:00.001-04:00

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[After circling the mall for about twenty minutes]

Spencer: "Are we actually going to go inside the mall?"

[Spencer walks to the front of the bus and comes back]

Spencer: "I'm crop dusting."

Michele's mom: "Did you see that strange girl dancing the same dance for every song?"

Wendy: "What, the lesbian?"

[In the hotel in St. Louis, Heather Carter is prank calling other band kids' rooms]

Heather C.: [attempting to disguise her voice by making it high and southern] "Hi! Are you naked? Is Spencer there? Is he naked? How about Kelley, is he naked? Are you naked together?"

Susan: [snatches the phone] "Hey Brandon [Olson], how are you? So, nudity, positive or negative? Are you guys naked or not?" [asking other girls sitting around the phone] "Do we want them to be naked?" [answering back into phone] "Yes."

Nick Morris: "Where's your man, Haley?"

Haley: "Which one?"

Nick: "The hair one."

Haley: "I don't have a man that isn't hairy."

2010-10-29T16:20:00.001-04:00

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[Mr. Black is trying to explain how drum major try-outs will work but keeps confusing himself]

Mr. Black: "We'll have at least one drum major, and definitely probably maybe two, and..wait.."

Mr. Cothran: [making fun of him] "We're going to have one drum major for every yard line. So there'll be 100 drum majors and three people marching."

Stephen J: "It's inappropriate to be naked."

Heather C.: "Well, how do you feel in the shower?"

Stephen J: "Pretty darn sexy."

Heather C.: "It's beautiful outside!!! I can feel the trees mating!!"

[Wendy is telling Mr. Cothran about a trip to Gatlinburg that she will be taking]

Wendy: "...and I'm going with Heather C and Emily. We're gonna room together and stay up all night and.."

Mr. Cothran: [in a high pitched girly voice] "OH BOY!!"

[Heather C and Wendy are talking about some law passed recently]

Wendy: "What state was it in again?"

Heather C.: "One of those Northern states, like New Jersey, or New Hamshire, or New Zealand..."

2010-10-27T16:20:00.001-04:00

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[Mr.Cothran was looking through a book about composers with Josh, Nick, and Wendy]

Mr. Cothran: "Ever heard of Charles Ives?"

Josh Nick and Wendy: "No, who is he?"

Mr. Cothran: "A crackhead."

[Later, he turns to the section on John Philip Sousa]

Mr. Cothran: "Sousa was a crackhead too."

Michele: [beats on stomach] "It jiggles!"

Wendy: "Why does Michele need a whip?"

Josh: "We were gonna take a picture of her whipping something with my hat on."

Michele: "If only CJ were here."

Mr. Black: [is shaking the stereo system] "Why won't you work?!"

Josh: "Uh..is it turned on?"

Mr. Black: [turns it on] "Oh...that works!"

Michele: "I don't need a boyfriend, I have Susan."

2010-10-25T16:20:00.002-04:00

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Mr. Black: "Why do we have sectionals? Veronica?"

Veronica: [has no idea] "To build...a relationship?"

Mr. Black: "Who needs a pencil?" [throws a pencil to Curtis] "Watch out for the pointy end and your eyes!"

[Curtis doesn't catch the pencil]

Mr. Black: "You dropped it! Well, that's okay, you're in band. Some of us are good at that stuff - You aren't - but that's okay."

[Mr. Black is wearing an all-black ensemble.]

Emily: "Mr. Black, what's with all the black today?"

Heather: "It fits, don't you think?"

Mr. Black: "I need a live nativity set."

Stephanie: "I'll be Jesus!"

[Later]

Stephanie: "Well, can I be Mary?"

Heather: "I don't think you can be a good Mary."

Stephanie: "What else could I be? The Devil?"

Heather: "That could work."

[Mr. Black is quickly spray painting X's on the pavement, much faster than Stephanie]

Mr. Black: "Ah hah, you can never beat the Black-man!"

Nick Murphy: "You better recognize."

Mr. Black: "Aw, Nick you always turn that around. I can never have my fun with that."

2010-10-22T16:20:00.001-04:00

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[On the way to the Hartselle contest]

Mr. Black: (Turns to Josh, Nick Murphy and Wendy) "Do y'all have any gum?"

Josh, Nick and Wendy: "No, we're not allowed to have any."

Mr. Black: "I need to go confiscate some gum." [Goes walking towards the back of the bus] "Who has gum? I need to confiscate it."

Mr. Cothren: "I need to confiscate a PSP!!"

Mr. Black:(After telling us about one time when his truck ran out of gas) "I have a bunch of gas stories."

Nick Murphy: "So do I, but we're not talking about the same kind of gas."

Mr. Black:(grins) "Yes we are!!"

Spencer: "Kelley! We should join the dance team."

Kelley: "It's our last year. Why would we do that?"

Sunni: "And your boobs aren't big enough."

Kelley: "Yeah, and our boobs aren't big enough."

Spencer: "My boobs are bigger than yours!"

Kelley: "Then you join the dance team!"

Spencer: "I bet I could."

Kelley: "Pfft. My milkshake brings ALL the boys to the yard."

Ben A: "It's the new sensation that's sweeping the nation: THE NO PANTS DANCE!"

Sunni: [dances around and sings] "I have no pants on, LA LA LA LA LA LALALA!"

Ben A: "AND it comes with a song!"

Jessica: "Hand check!"

[Brooke, Clint, Jessica, and Mark all raise both hands, Sunni however, is only capable of raising one, as Clint is sitting on top of her]

Jessica: "Sunni! Where's your other hand?!"

Sunni: "I can't raise it, it's stuck!"

[everyone starts laughing]

Sunni: "Oh crap. That sounded really bad. I didn't mean it like that! I just mean that it's stuck under Clint! AHH! Screw it.."

2010-10-20T16:20:00.001-04:00

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Mr. Black: "It smells bad over here."

Sunni: "Ahh, I'm sorry."

[Mr. Black and Mr. Cothran laugh, rather amused, then Mr. Black sniffs Sunni's shirt]

Mr. Black: "You actually smell pretty good."

Sunni: "I put on perfume! I think maybe it's Josh that smells bad."

Mr. Black: [mouthing and motioning to his left with his head] "I think it's Mr. Cothran."

[after the lights on bus are turned off]

Danny: "Stop touching me there, James!"

Robby: [in the next seat forward] "Now, show me exactly where he touched you at."

Mr. Black: "I like that hair, Nick. It looks like a mohawk. Or rather, it looks like you're on Grease."

James: "Nope, he's on crack."

Madame Herren: "When I get angry, I grow horns."

Tyler C.: [excitedly] "Are they French Horns?"

Scott: [walks up to to lunch table] "I hate Health."

Haley O.: "So that's why you're eating barbeque and chocolate milk?" [after a moment] "OH, you mean the CLASS!"

2010-10-18T16:20:00.001-04:00

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C.J.: [walks into Mr. Black's office] "Mr. Black, I can't find my tuner."

Mr. Black: "Did you check your hair?"

Justin:: "I can't pay attention or sit still for too long...I can't do anything for long, and that won't be good when I get a woman."

Angela: "Lunchables are like..you eat em, and then you're like, 'That was nice, what's for lunch?'"

[during the rain shower]

Heather: "I don't want to go swimming while it's raining. I'll get wet!"

Susan: "Where's Michele? Oh yeah, she's off blow drying herself."

Heather C.: "You have butt on your dirt."

2010-10-15T16:20:00.001-04:00

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[James goes down the pool slide backwards]

James: "If I die, you guys are gonna get arrested for peer pressure."

[Stephanie gets stuck in the water slide]

Veronica: "I think it's safe to say that your butt is too big."

James: "I don't want to get a cramp."

Spencer: "You shrank over the summer."

Sunni: "Ahem. Shrank?"

Spencer: [makes downward and inward motion with hands] "Yeah. Shrank."

Justin: Keeton: "Wait. You put on makeup!"

Sunni: "Yeah. I do that sometimes."

Justin:: "It's just I've been used to seeing you with no makeup for two days and now you have some on and it's like. BAM. You're fine and all mine. Except for that all mine part."

2010-10-13T16:20:00.001-04:00

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Sunni: [in regard to the scorching heat] "This is the first time in my life that I have ever envied the victims of the Titanic."

Tyler Crenshaw: "I have an ice butt on my cube! Wait.."

Susan: "I don't know if I can go anywhere during breaks, because since band has started again I'm apparently having sex with Kelley all the time, and I'm kinda in trouble."

Veronica [calling roll]: "Sulley Mullenix?"

Sunni: "Did she just call me Sulley?"

Nick Murphy: "Yeah. Now you're the big hairy blue monster from Monsters Inc. Congratulations."

Mr. Black: "We want the sound to be clean and..crisp!"

Kelley: "Like lettuce."

2010-10-11T16:20:00.001-04:00

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[As the band receives the third revised edition of the opener]

Josh: "Nick and I have taken to naming these Boogie Down, Boogie Down Returns and Boogie Down Strikes Back."

Mr. Black: "Wear proper clothing for band camp. That means tennis shoes. Some people might try to be funny and wear their band shoes, with tube socks...Nick...But don't do that."

Nick Morris: "Hey, that was you!"

Josh: "Thomas is one of those sponge people."

Oliver: "Sponge...?"

Josh: "Yeah, you tell him something and he'll like remember it forever."

Michele: "I'm a dry sponge."

Trey: "Hey Wendy, is everyone gonna get together to watch House tonight?"

Wendy: "Only if Josh calls and wants to get everyone together."

Trey: [holds up Wendy's cell phone] "Josh is on the phone and would like to ask you if everyone is getting together to watch House tonight."

[The band kids are waiting outside the band room because Mr. Black is late again. Mr. Prater comes out of his shop.]

Mr. Prater: "What are ya'll doing?"

Band kids: "The band room's locked."

Mr. Prater: "Have someone run down to the cafeteria, see if you can find a janitor."

[Everyone glares at a freshman til he/she takes the hint and ambles down to the cafeteria.]

Mr. Prater: [to the freshman] "RUN, Peanut, RUN like the peanut you are!"

2010-10-08T16:20:00.001-04:00

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Some random guy outside the hotel: "Hey! I need a girl!"

Michele: "Sorry! We're all lesbians!"

Nick Morris: "Winning is for losers."

[Before Mr. Havely and Mr. Black go bungie jumping]

Sunni: "Mr. Havely, if you die, can I have your sunglasses?"

Mr. Havely: "Yeah, sure you can."

Josh: "Mr. Black, if you die, can I have your car?"

Mr. Black: "Yeah, you can have my Mustang."

Nick Murphy: "What about me?"

Mr. Havely: "Nick, you can have my Volvo."

[During rehearsal, Mr. Black is getting aggravated with the percussion section because someone keeps tapping on the cymbols.]

Mr. Black: [with his head down looking at his music] "I wish whoever was doing that would stop, it's getting really annoying."

Mr. Havely: "That was me. I was helping them with their part."

Mr. Black: [Looks up at him] "I know."

James: "I'm not a guy!"

2010-10-06T16:20:00.001-04:00

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Sunni: "Whoo, this is easy!"

James: "Your MOM'S EASY! [pause] AHHHH NOO!!"

Girl in Spanish class: "People keep telling me I should shave my arms."

James: "SHAVE YOUR MOM!"

[clasps hands over mouth]

James: "I did NOT mean for it to come out like THAT."

Kelley: "If our babies have red hair I'm going to eat them."

[Heather has dropped her batons into the pool; Nick and Susan are trying to get them out.]

Josh: "How many band kids does it take to get a baton out of a pool?"

Wendy: "Eight. Two to get it out and six to sit around and watch."

Josh: "So Nick, are you coming over to my house tonight?"

Nick Murphy: "No. I'm tired of looking at you."

2010-10-04T16:20:00.002-04:00

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Nick Morris: [commenting on his tan] "I think I have some Mexican in me."

Mr. Havely: "I have news: sit up."

Mr. Black: "I hate it that I have to go direct traffic."

Nick: "You hate it because you actually have to get here on time..."

Robby: "Heather and I are in the Sexy Hair Club."

Josh: "Uhh...what?"

Heather: "In order to be in the Sexy Hair Club, you have to be able to do this." [tosses hair around, Herbal Essences-commerical-esque.]

Robby: "See? It's sexy."

[After attempting (and failing) to play a run in Celebrations]

Robby: "Even if I can't play it, I'm still sexy!" [tosses hair "sexily"]

2010-10-01T16:20:00.001-04:00

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Robby: "I'm so sexy. You know you want me!"

Jenny B.: "I'd rather have the trashcan."

Robby: "Jenny, you're like a whale!"

Jenny A.: "No I'm not! I'm like a yeti!"

Patrick: "Did you just say you're like spaghetti?"

[On a trip, the band bus stops on a side of the street filled with fast food places - on the other side of a busy street are more food places.]

Mr. Havely: [over the bus's intercom]

"Why did the band member cross the road?"

[he ignores the many stupid answers yelled from the back of the bus]

Mr. Havely: "To incur the wrath of Mr. Havely. Don't cross the road."

[Mr. Havely hands out a piece of sight-reading music called "The Blue and the Gray," a song the Ireland band played last year. The band begins chattering its recognition of the piece.]

Mr. Havely: "If we get into the sight-reading room and somebody says "HEY! I've played this before," I'll SHOOT YA! ..You won't make it out of Huntsville High!"

[Mr. Havely goes to fix the AC]

Mr. Havely: "I wish whoever was messin with the AC would stop! They keep turning it up and making it like 90 degrees in here."

[Mr. Black walks into the bandroom]

Michael Dowdy: "Mr. Black, Mr. Havely just called you out!"

Mr. Black: "Well, I was cold..."

2010-09-29T16:08:00.004-04:00

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Michele: "I have ended the lives of many a ladybug."

Wendy: "These are the contents of my dad's man-purse: A gun, extra ammo, and a Bible."

Tyler C.: "I learned this a long time ago: Never expose your nuts to Sunni."

[Chris Ding plays his bell part out of turn and Mr. Havely is amused by it]

Mr. Havely: "You know, Mr. Ding, I think you and Miss Batt should get together."

Brandon: "What is he talking about? ...Oh, Dingbat!" [he laughes] "Wait...where's Dustin?!"

[Angela Batt's boyfriend, Dustin, looks bewildered]

[Sunni is talking about how her drummer boyfriend always "drums" on her]

Sunni: "So I'm like, 'QUIT DRUMMING ON ME! Do I buzz on you?!'"

2010-09-27T16:08:00.002-04:00

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Wendy: [in a sing-song voice] "You can't run a green light!"

[Freshman first chair clarinet Jenny is mandating an after-school clarinet sectional, and no one wants to take orders from a freshman.]

Ellen: "I can't go, I'm, uh... babysitting."

Brandon: "Uh...me too."

Ellen: "Uh, yeah! Brandon has a kid."

Brandon: "And we're going to the park! And we'll be there...uh...well...we go every day!"

Ellen: [mimicking Brandon's imaginary kid] "But Daddy, it's raining!"

Brandon: [to his imaginary kid, played by Ellen] "TOO BAD! I'm not going to sectional, so you're going to the park!"

Josh: "I'm going to make sort of Naked Gun type movie. It's gonna star me and Nick, and it's gonna be called Good Cop, Black Cop."

[As the band is once again waiting for the as-usual late Mr. Black to arrive and open the band room doors]

Wendy: "The only one who is paid to be here isn't here. We're not being paid, and we're here!"

[Mr. Black is talking about how he once shaved his head in college to see what it would look like, or something to that effect]

Nick Murphy: [mocking Mr. Black] "I have an idea, let's take our BRAND NEW uniforms and march in the pouring rain at a competition and see if the red dye bleeds out of them and stains our white T-shirts. OH! It works!"

2010-09-24T16:08:00.004-04:00

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Josh: [to Jayce, who is still hobbling around on crutches] "How ya doin there, Crip?"

Wendy: [to Mr. Black] "Do you have any glitter? Heather wants glitter."

Nick Murphy: [comes up behind her and also asks Mr. Black] "Do you have any aneurysm medicine?"

Ellen: "Don't think of it as getting cut from a part, think of it as...taking a break."

Heather: "I need a lot of breaks."

Ellen: "Oh, me too."

Seth: "It's black history month, which is why it's the shortest month of the year."

Corey: [caveman voice] "Little woman eat little pizza. Big man eat big pizza."

2010-09-22T16:08:00.003-04:00

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[Susan and Heather are telling Mr. Havely about Heather's dance and baton lessons]

Mr. Havely: "...Everybody's busy, huh." [walks away]

Susan: "Except me. I don't do anything."

Heather: "Except Kelley."

Nick Murphy: "A strange thing happened last night...my wife called."

Brandon: "I kill you! Boy, I kill you!"

Mr. Black: "Corey, what do you notice about measure 142?"

Corey: "Uhh...I have six measures of rest."

Daniel Harris: "I hate my cat. It's old, it needs to die."

Mrs. Yarbrough: "In twenty years you'll be saying that about your mom."

2010-09-20T16:08:00.002-04:00

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[Jayce comes hobbling into the cafeteria on crutches]

Josh: [to the group] "I'll bet you anything he fell down his stairs."

[Jayce comes over to the group]

Everybody: "Jayce, what happened?!"

Jayce: "Man, I tripped and fell down the stairs at my house and broke three of my toes!"

Robby: "I'll sex you up so bad you won't even feel it!"

Sunni: "James, you are such a freak."

James: "Well I'm your mom!"

[Josh is considering bribing the band directors for extra points on his upcoming chair audition. However, when he looks in his wallet, there's no money.]

Josh: [pulling something out of his wallet] "Hey Mr. Havely, how much would a picture of my mom get me?"

Mr. Black: "I had a fight with the copy machine."

2010-09-17T16:08:00.003-04:00

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[Spencer’s bulldog is playing with a teddy bear, biting its head, shaking it aggresively, etc.]

Spencer's grandma: "I'm glad that's not a baby!"

Nick: "Veronica, what is my name in Korean again?"

Veronica: "Nick-ah."

Nick: "What? Say that a little bit louder please."

Veronica: "NICK-AH!!! OH CRAP! We're at A&M!!"

Some random black guy at SHS vs. BJHS game: [to BJHS varsity boys team] "You white boys go home!!"

Michael D.: [in response to above guy] "WHAT?!? YOU!!!"

[Playing Twister, Joel has his legs twisted in a very uncomfortable posistion and is whining in pain.]

Angela: [who is in the same posistion but not in pain] "This is the difference between girls and guys in playing Twister!"

Elizabeth: "I'm being touched!"

2010-09-15T16:08:00.002-04:00

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Sunni: "Why...is..he wearing....bibbers?"

Mr. Black: "There weren't enough pants."

Sunni: "Well, I have pants, but-"

Mr. Black: "I'm glad you have pants, Sunni."

Sunni: "But see they're too-"

Mr. Black: "I'm glad you have pants, Sunni."

[At competition and football games the band is announced as being called the John Sparkman Marching Senators, which is different from last year. Commenting on this new occurance are Heather and Michele.]

Michele: "Wait..when did we become the John Sparkman Marching Senators?"

Heather: "The name of our school is very obviously Sparkman High. Nowhere is there any mention of a man named John. That's what it says all over the school! It's 'Sparkman High' NOT 'JOHN Sparkman High', get it right!"

Michele: "I guess Mr. Havely doesn't even know the name of the school he works for."

Mr. Havely: "Everything affects tone."

Brandon: "Even the underpants I'm wearing."

Mr. Black: "1st trumpets, y'all sure are making a lot of noise over there while I'm trying to help the French Horns."

Spencer: "It's only one of us making all the noise."

Brian: "It's the black one."

Oliver: "And I was like..'If you're gonna eat a bowl of soup, you're buying me a cookie! And it better be a big one!"

2010-09-13T16:08:00.003-04:00

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Nick Murphy: "I'm black, I forget things."

Josh: [from the bathroom] "It's escaped!!"

Brandon: "Should I take my instrument home and practice during the break?"

Heather: "No."

Brandon: "Exactly."

Accounting teacher: "Wow, I wish I had one of these podiums for MY classroom!"

Nick Morris: "I'll sell you one for five bucks!"

Nick: "On the paper, it had tips for raising or saving money for college, and I was like "That's all wrong. They need to put down 'grow and sell marijuana' and 'make and sell moonshine.'"

2010-09-10T16:08:00.002-04:00

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[Stephen puts a pen in his jacket to make it look like something else.]

Stephen: "Hey Sharona, is that my pen or am I just happy to see you?"

[Jayce was giving peanuts to everyone. Then he stopped and PR (Stephen) put his hand in Jayce's pocket looking for the peanuts.]

Jayce: [to Cody, Sharona, Mark, and Seth] "Stephen is looking for my nuts."

[Awkward silence for a few seconds and Stephen's hand is still in Jayce's pocket]

Stephen: "I can't find them!"

Mr. Black: "PUSH PUSH PUSH! Come on Clarinets."

Seth: "I can push!"

[Pushes triangle beater in and out of the triangle making weird noises]

Sharona: "That's just not right..."

Mr. Havely: "Who wrote Joy to the World?"

Sunni: "Three Dog Night?"

Nick Morris: "Guess what? This can of cream of asparagus expired in '98. It's been expired six years! And I'm giving it to the food drive!"