Our Life Upstate

Teen Love and Marriage

2012-05-25T01:08:00.000-04:00

So, I am two days late in watching the season finale of Glee and I typically love that show but I am fuming. I am so mad at the way they handled Finn and Rachel's decision to get married. Or to not get married in the ned. I am seriously so sick of the attitude that young love is not real love. That the idea of two people getting married just out of high school is dumb or a mistake. It absolutely drives me insane!!

I know people who were high school sweethearts, married before she even finished high school and are still happily married 13 years later. It works. It is not stupid. It is not teenagers being idiots. Teenagers can be in love. It is real love. My husband and I met in high school. We were married after college, like good respectable people, but it would not have been stupid for us to get married earlier. The need to wait was put on us by other people.

Finn told Rachel that if they were meant to be together they would be. But relationships do not work like that. Relationships take work. Relationships take commitment. Marriage is commitment. Now, I'm not saying that every teenager should run out and marry the guy or girl they are dating when they graduate. But I do think that constantly telling our teenagers that marriage and children and family are stupid to do or things for later in life or to put off sets up the wrong attitude.

I just think that we need to acknowledge that teenagers can have real love for each other. They can get married and still have a good life. Marriage is a choice. Marriage is a commitment. Marriage is work. None of those things have an age on them. An 18 year old is just as capable of those things as a 30 year old. We tell our teenagers to wait. That's what we tell them. In doing so we do not give them enough credit. Not nearly enough. We need to value them and recognize their right and ability to make their own choices.

I Just Don't Know

2012-05-22T19:26:00.002-04:00

I don't understand. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. What is right? For who?Disruption. Re-homing. Giving up. Walking away. Doing the best thing. Doing what is best. Yes. No. Yes. No. I don't know. Who do I ask? Where do we go? Who knows what is best?

Nobody has the answers. Nobody. Most of all, I don't have the answers. We have seriously look into disruption. Started the process? I don't know what to call it. We are in contact with the people who will help us if that's what we choose. Yes, that's it. That's where we are.

But what is right? Last week, when she came home, she immediately refused to function. Most dramatically, refusing to eat. That was what encouraged our movement. Since then, we have been able to feed her. Although, she is very unhappy. Refuses to leave her room most of the day.

Every day, all day, I have an internal debate going on in my head. One minute I am sure 100% sure that the best thing for her, for everyone, is disruption. The next minute I can't envision that. We have been offered help to keep her, and to re- home her. Every time I feel sure about moving to disruption the doubts creep in. I'm never as sure that continuing this life is the best thing. Yet, somehow, I am constantly plagued with doubt.

I know that the two voices I hear our God and the devil. The problem is I can't tell which one is which. I can't tell what He wants me to do. What His plan here is. Just as I was completely sure that disruption was the right choice help came from an unexpected place. Sure, maybe that help came from Him. Maybe it means we CAN do this. On the other hand, what if that help comes from somewhere else? What if that "help" is not really help at all? What if that help is meant to cause doubts?

I just don't know. I just don't know.

The Eyes Say It All

2012-05-20T20:43:00.001-04:00

It isn't a particularly good picture of any if them but, oh man! Honestly, I took one look at this picture and burst into hysterical laughter. That look is ridiculous. That look is total hatred. I'm not sure what my ability to laugh at it means. Probably that I am going a bit looney - but then I always was.

Silence

2012-05-20T02:50:00.002-04:00

I feel silenced right now. Incapable of speaking my truths. Incapable of asking the necessary questions. Incapable of letting my thoughts out. The weight of this silence is very heavy. It is eating at me. It is like a huge gong going off. It is the loudest silence ever.

There is no peace in this silence. There is no comfort in it. Just confusion. Only uncertainty. Only the knowledge that I have no idea what to do.

Lost in a world where what feels right seems like it can't be right. Where what seems like it should be right feels completely wrong. A world where I cannot get my thoughts, feelings, emotions or doubts out.

Dear Makenzie,

2012-05-17T08:36:00.000-04:00

You came home yesterday. You came home yesterday and this time around we were given no window of opportunity with you. You came home in battle mode. You were itching for a fight and let us know just how unhappy and unwilling to change you were by refusing to eat. The first meal we had you refused to eat. I don't know what that means. I don't know what we will do now. I don't know how we will help you.

While you were away your grandparents sent us this picture of you. I took one look at it and cried. I cried because I don't think I have ever seen you that happy looking. Now, the truth is that pictures can be deceiving. My guess is that this picture is extremely deceiving. A lot of things tell me that you are not as happy as this picture makes you look while you are there. However, we never get even this appearance of happy at our house. I don't know what that means. I don't know if it means you are more real with us or you are that much more lost when you are with us. I don't know.

What I do know is that it makes me sad. I am sad to see this picture of you. I am sad to think that I cannot give you even this superficial level of happiness. I am sad that you actually look like a healthy weight. I am sad about that because I know that you will most likely be icky thin within a few weeks. I have a few ideas of how to keep this from happening but I fear they will just delay the inevitable.

In truth by the time you arrived here you were already much more like I see you. Your hair was ripped out of those braids. You were making your more normal cautious and withdrawn facial expression. You were using more closed off as opposed to arms wide body language. You were more you. And it was sad. I don't know how to help you. I am sorry. I am sorry that I do not know what to do. I am sorry for your pain. I am sorry for how unhappy you are. I can only hope that one day you will know that I have tried my best. I have done everything that I know to do to help you.

I am sad. I am so sad.I do not know how to help you. I am sorry.

Love,

Mommy

Darth Maul Family

2012-05-16T01:05:00.001-04:00

Michael has an app on his phone that can be used to turn your face into the face of Darth Maul. Mickey found it and wanted to do it to all of us. So, here we are - Darth Maul Family.

Darth Maul Mickey

Darth Maul Mommy

Darth Maul Daddy

Darth Maul Sean

American Girl Doll Peasant Dress Tutorial

2012-05-14T11:39:00.001-04:00

This past weekend I added an entire doll clothes section to the shop. I am finding more and more that Mickey likes her doll to have clothes that match hers. It would appear that the doll needs as many outfits as she has (and she has too many). It has been fun, though. It gave me something new and different to work on over the weekend. I have been thinking of writing this tutorial for awhile and so I give you a peasant dress tutorial. It is shown here on an 18" (American Girl size) doll but would also fit a 15" (Bitty Baby size0 doll.

First you need your supplies -
two squares of fabric measuring 10" x 10"
two squares of fabric measuring 6" x 4"
11" of elastic
20" of rick rack (this is completely optional and just for decoration)

Take all four squares of material and fold them in half. Then line up the open (NOT FOLDED) sides.

Now cut a small J out of the lined up corners. Cut through all layers of fabric.

Sew the cuff of the arms (that is the smaller of the squares). Fold them over twice so that all of the cut part is hidden. Then sew the sides, make sure to turn at the arm so that the arm and side are together. Repeat on other side.

If you are adding rick rack leave one small section at the bottom of one side open.

Create a casing for the elastic neck line. You do this by folding the top over just a tiny bit all the way around. Then you fold it over about 1/2" - wide enough that your elastic will fit in it. Now sew around leaving just a small opening for the elastic to be fed through.

Feed your elastic through. I usually pin a safety pin to one side to make it easier to feed all the way around. Sew the two sides of the elastic together and close up the opening.

Now at the bottom you fold it over twice just like you did with the sleeves. Then you add the rick rack (on the right side of the fabric). Now is where that opening comes in handy. Start the rick rack at your opening and pin it all the way around until you get back to the opening. Now close the side, making sure to sew over both layers of fabric and both layers of rick rack. Now sew all the way around closing the bottom hem and attaching the rick rack.

Wa- laah!! You have a peasant dress for your doll!!

Linking up to Make Yourself Monday :)

What I Think As They Say Happy Mother's Day

2012-05-13T14:01:00.001-04:00

All my life all I ever wanted was to be a mom. As a child I always pretended to be a mom. That and a performer - hence my theatre major in college. When I pictured my life I pictured kids. Lots of them. I knew I would be a mom.

Become a mom was everything I dreamed it would be. In all seven and a half years of being a mom I have always known that I have everything I ever wanted. I have also known that some of my joy has come at the expense of another. Somewhere out there is another woman who is not looking at her son today. Who is not marvelling at his awesomeness. Who is not shaking her head at the things he doesn't like to do. Who will not kiss him goodnight tonight. She, of course, is his birth mother. I get to parent him each day because she doesn't. I make no assumptions about her or the how and why of her decision. I simply pray that she is happy and that she has some peace with her decision.

Seven years ago I knew these facts but they did not touch my heart the same way. They did not make me ache for her quite as much. I was young. I simply didn't get it. Now I do. Now I think of her as he says "Happy Mother's Day."

I think of another woman as well. A woman who gave her life so that her child could be born. A woman who had hopes and dreams for that child. A woman who wanted life for her child. So much so that she gave everything (literally) that she had for that child.

The child does not have the life this woman hoped for. The child is not happy. I could not look that woman on the eye. I would be ashamed to tell her how her child is today. She wanted more for her child. Just as I want more for mine. Ours really. Because we share the hope of wanting the best for this child. We share the hope and dreams of a happy little girl. Yet, we do not get that.

Today this child will speak to neither of us. This child will not accept from us nor give hugs and kisses to either of us. This child is stuck in her place of fear. She is stuck in the hurt and the pain. And I can't help but feel that I have failed the woman who died to bring this girl into the world.

First Holy Communion

2012-05-09T11:55:00.001-04:00

Sean made his First Holy Communion this past Saturday. It was wonderful. Aside from a little judgmental glib from one of the teachers (that I totally plan to blog about soon) the entire experience was great. It was a wonderful moment. I was proud and amazed by my son. He was nervous and sweet.

I could probably go on and on about it. I won't though. I will just share these pictures we took. Obviously, we do not have pictures of the actual moment. These are walking in, singing at the end and a fame picture when it was over. I am just in awe and my heart feels good at sharing this with my sweet boy.

Dear Sean,

2012-05-07T08:15:00.000-04:00

Oh my sweet, sweet boy. I have been wondering for the last few days what I want to say to you. What is the biggest thing going on with you at this moment? What marks the most important moment in this past month? I have been thinking of it for the last few days. Until today I did not have an answer.

Sending Kenzie to visit with your grandparents has been harder on you this time. You and Mickey have not bounced back the way you did last time. You have come so far back up but not quite as far. I think that may be because Daddy and I are not quite as care free this time. We are still stressing about a lot of Kenzie related things. Looking for therapy and treatment. It has been constant. We try not to let it get to us but I know we do. I know that Daddy and I are both a little grumpy when we have been discussing these things. I promise you that we are trying to do better.

Today you said, "Mommy, I miss Kenzie and want her to come home but I don't want her to be here if she's going to act like she does." My heart about broke in two. I feel a little bit like there is nothing that I can do for you. I know you miss her. Or well, you miss who you want her to be. I think you have entered into the grieving stage. I know that is healthy. I know that when you get to the point that you are able to not let your day (or week, or month or whatever) be ruined by her mood that will be good for you. But oh my!! Why does it have to be so hard on you? I hate watching you hurt. I hate watching you in pain. And you are in pain.

Someone suggested to me that I need to tell you that no matter what Kenzie does she will always come home. That it would be scary for you to think that because she was "bad" she had been sent away. I am sure that is true in most situations. The thing is really it has nothing to do with being "bad." She did not go to visit your grandparents because she is "bad." She went because it was what she needed. She went because it is the only way Daddy and I know to get her the break she needs to be functional. Before she left she was not functional. She was not eating. She was not talking. She was hurting herself and she needed a break to be able to stop. It has nothing to do with good vs bad. The nasty, ugly, terrible truth is that I cannot swear to you that no matter what she does she will always be here. I have said before, although not to you, that I think she will need in patient care at some point. This seems more and more likely to me as time goes on.

I did not tell you that today. I also did not tell you that no matter what she would always be here. I, most importantly, did not scold you for the statement you made. That statement was how you were feeling. It is your truth. I respect that. I respect your feelings. You are entitled to feel how you feel. And I want you to tell me how you feel. I will not tell you how to feel. You are not wrong to feel this way. You are human. You are you.

I love you. I understand. I am so so sorry that you are hurting. I am so so sorry that you are sad. The thing that I can promise you is that Daddy and I will continue to do everything we can to take care of you and your sisters. That we will make sure that Kenzie gets what she needs. That she will get help. I cannot promise you that that will happen at our house but I can promise that we will get her what she needs. I can also promise you that Daddy and I are going to work very hard at being less stressed and less grumpy. Lastly, and this is a two part promise, I promise you that Daddy and I are taking care of it so you don't have to worry about it but if you are worried you can talk to us. You can say anything. You can trust us. We are here for you. Because we love you. Because you ARE important. Your feelings matter. Your thoughts matter. You matter. I love you my boy.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Deanna,

2012-05-06T08:21:00.000-04:00

I cannot believe you are a month shy of your first birthday. I swear I have no idea where the time has gone. I have tried to enjoy every single moment of this past year with you. I think I have done a pretty good job. I have never wished the time away. I have not yearned for you to be bigger. I have held you and just stared at you. I have stopped everything to sit on the couch and look at your sweet face. I have loved every second of the last eleven months with you.

Somehow the time has still flown by. Somehow it has still gone way too fast. Somehow eleven months has felt like just a few days. I truly don't know how it happened. I wish it had taken a little longer. I wish it would slow down. I am praying that the next month lasts something more like six. I am sure that it will not. I am sure that it will go by equally as fast. I am sure that next month I will sit here looking at you and be just as astonished over how fast the time has gone.

You are so joyous. I love seeing you smile. I love hearing you laugh. I love the way you look at me when I walk in the room. You have started talking more lately. It is so fun. You repeat a lot. A week ago you were repeating Mickey when she was singing "Paparazzi." It cracked me up. Of course, as soon as I took the camera out you stopped but that's okay. I still heard you and it was awesome! Yesterday you started saying "Kae, Kae" whenever you want Mickey. Sean would really like you start saying his name sometime soon. I understand that those sounds are harder but it would make him feel very good if you would oblige. :)

You walk now. Not all the time but you CAN walk. You do, occasionally, walk from one thing to another. Mostly you seem to be more comfortable crawling and revert to that most of the time. It still excites the rest of us when you do choose to walk. You look very cute when you do it.

Being the baby you have a lot of people who are always at your beck and call. Lately, you seem to want to play more. I have enjoyed watching you blossom. You have started to be more interested in doing things with your brother and sister then you are in me. It is so fun to see you playing with the big kids. You try so hard to keep up with them. It is sweet. But don't grow up too fast. Time moves pretty quickly all on his own. I love you my sweet girl!

Love,

Mommy

May Squared

2012-05-04T08:14:00.000-04:00

I took my squared photos just before Kenzie went off to stay with my ILs. Have you noticed this couch has been a running theme in my pictures ALL MONTH. We finally spoke to the manager at our town's garbage removal company and they will be coming. So they say.

I call this the Ta-Da picture. It is Mickey's go to photo pose. She insisted the others join her.

I like this one because they look like they are all having fun. I don't get a lot of pictures of them looking like they are having fun.

A Therapeutic Parenting Moment of Acceptance

2012-05-03T08:36:00.000-04:00

PACE is a term in the therapeutic parenting/RAD world. It stands for Playful Accepting Curious Empathetic. All of those things sound completely right. All of those things are the way any parenting wants to approach parenting I'm sure. The truth is that they are harder then they sound. They are extremely hard when you are frustrated and upset. And with an unattached child you are always frustrated and upset (or sad or angry or hurt or crying or just a mess of emotions). Or at least I am.

I'm working on acceptance at the moment. Accepting her for who she is. Accepting how she makes me feel. Accepting that she is doing what she feels she needs to. Accepting that while it is directed at me it's not really about me. Accepting how she feels. Accepting ..... well, just accepting.

Before she left we were at dinner with my FIL. She had been miserable all day. She had refused to come out of her room for most of it. She was very angry at dinner. She was sitting at the table glaring at everyone.

Michael told her to smile. This set off a chain reaction of everyone telling her to smile. Now the entire table was trying to make her smile. She went back and forth between giving the most fake smile ever and glaring. Everyone was frustrated. That's when my brain clicked on.

"Actually, everyone, if Kenzie does not want to smile," I sais "she doesn't have too." The table became silent. I went on to explain that while I very much want her to be happy I do not need her to smile when she feels unhappy. "She is entitled to feel how she feels. If she is unhappy and needs to make angry, unhappy faces then that is what she should do," I said. "Is there something you want Makenzie? Is there a reason you are unhappy?" I asked.

Honestly, I did not expect her to answer. So when she said, "I want dinner," I was shocked. Luckily, the waitress showed up as I was saying it was coming soon. She seemed to relax a little at that point. Nothing major but still it was a good moment.

It made my FIL upset. I don't really know why. I think that he felt like when I said that she didn't have to smile I was saying I didn't want her to be happy. That's not the case. She is entitled to her feelings - no matter how much they upset me, Michael, or the other kids. Accepting that she feels the way she feels is better for all of us. It is what will help her in the long run. And I think I rocked it.

Smiles

2012-05-02T01:02:00.003-04:00

I love seeing the smiles on their faces!

The End of Kid's Clothes Week

2012-04-30T01:44:00.002-04:00

This week was so fun! I have enjoyed every moment of allowing myself to focus on my kids, their clothes and all things happy. They have lots of new clothes in their closets.

I finished everything on my list plus two additional dresses. This Mulan dress that I made for Deanna and the Star Wars dress I made for Mickey. Granted, I still have lots of dresses (and shirts, shorts and other fabulous ideas) running around in my head that I plan to make.

I need to get the kids' fully outfitted for our Disney trip in August. They also need some NON-Disney clothes. Plus, all of the inspiration on the elsie marley flickr group has inspired me to make lots of new things. I thought I had lots of things I wanted to do before - now I may never be able to actually accomplish everything I want to try. Not to mention all of the awesome new blogs I found through the challenge. :)

I know I said I was going to have a doll dress tutorial and I will. I need to finish up all the details and get it just right but I will be posting it next Monday. So, be sure to stop on by for that.

Dear Mickey,

2012-04-28T17:28:00.001-04:00

This week we have been working together a lot to make you (and your brother and sisters) new clothes. It has been very fun. I love that you like to sew with me. It is super fun to go to the fabric store with you. I love how you indiscriminately want a dress made from every single fabric at the store. It makes it so fun to take you to the store (and very expensive but that's okay). It also means that you end up with a very extensive wardrobe. I am grateful that you have two younger sisters because it helps me rationalize the sheer volume of clothes you own - they have to make it through a lot of kids. :)

Posing you is always a challenge. You rarely want to sit (or stand) the way that I want you. You have too much a mind of your own and tend to want to do your own thing.

You do, however, LOVE to have your picture taken. All day long, everyday, you ask me to take your pictures. You really like taking pictures on the outside couch - which I have not bothered to make a fuss about getting it picked up because you are enjoying it so much - but otherwise you like to get the sheet out and take "professional" pictures. I need some lighting.

I need to learn to let you go. To get a decent background (unlike this one above) and let you do your thing. Your face is so much cuter when you are not working REALLY hard to stay in just the position I have put you in.

Some pictures come out very funny because you are talking and dancing and having so much fun. I promise you girly I am going to try to remember that. We have so much fun taking pictures when I let you lead. I enjoy doing these things with you a lot. We have tons of fun. I love you so much.

Love,
Mommy

KCWC Day Five

2012-04-27T20:00:00.003-04:00

Today, I made Mickey a Wall-E dress that matches a pair of shorts I made for Sean a few weeks ago. I was so excited to find this fabric awhile back. A few years ago I had searched and searched for Wall-E fabric for Sean and I couldn't find any.

She was holding a different movie and then my husband got the bright idea to give her our copy of Wall-E. I think she looks adorable in the dress and the movie just seals the deal for me :)

Since my girl here is SUPER messy (today at her preschool class at our homeschool co-op she managed to get paint on her ELBOW) I decided to make this dress reversible. This dress has a very similar front and back and really can be worn either way in a pinch. So, I made sure to put Eve in the top center so spot so that if (when) she spills something all over herself I will be able to turn the dress around. I'm feeling pretty smart - I may just do this with all of her dresses from now on. :)

Matchy Match

2012-04-26T19:54:00.002-04:00

Mickey was adamant that she wanted a princess dress for her and Deanna to match. She found this PINK HEART PRINCESS fabric at the store a few weeks ago and she instantly wanted it to be the dress for the two of them. I made my first peasant dress a few weeks ago and I like them a lot. I like them because they are different. They are also really easy for Mickey to put on herself.

That is Deanna's hat on Mickey's head. She is also wearing the matching scrunchie I made for her.

Here she was playing peek-a-boo with it

Mickey putting it on Deanna's head.

Holding it on her head.

Both of them laughing because Deanna threw it across the room.

Today is Day Four of the Kid's Clothes Week Challenge and I have been having a great week. I just love all of the things I have been making this week. I have been very successful and productive all week. So, where am I on my list? Well, I finished everything for Sean and Deanna. I have one dress each for Mickey and Kenzie still to go. Although I did make a dress for Mickey that was not on my list. So, all in all I am feeling very good about my list. :)

A Party Dress

2012-04-25T20:04:00.002-04:00

We have a part to go to next month and while Deanna and Kenzie have dresses to wear Mickey does not. I have been very intimidated to make "fancy" clothes but I figured I would give it a shot and I have to say I am super excited at how this dress came out. I used the same pattern I used for this dress but I left off the sleeves. Then I added a layer of crinilon underneath and a layer of "sparkles" on top. The body of the dress I made from a beautiful pink, shiny, sparkly satin. I love this dress!!

Mickey was also very excited about this dress. She HAD to put it on right away and has already asked if she can wear it everyday. I told her she has to wait until after the party to wear it everyday.

For all of my Small Style friends I say welcome!! I've been blogging all about clothes all week as I've been participating in Kid's Clothes Week. It's super fun and I bet a lot of you would love it too. :)

Slumber Party

2012-04-24T23:49:00.001-04:00

I made the kids these pajamas today for day three of Kid's Clothes Week. I don't usually use flannel for Spring and Summer pajamas but the kids picked these out and so I figured. ah well! They are soft and super comfy. As you can see the kids wasted no time trying them out and jumping on my bed (anything that gives them an excuse to jump on my bed is awesome!).

I used a peasant dress pattern to make Mickey's nightgown. I adjusted it a bit and made the sleeves a little shorter and left the elastic out that creates the ruffle. You can see there the flat sleeve. I figured that was probably a little comfier for sleeping.

For Sean's shorts I added rows of stitching onto the elastic. This was my first try at this and I love it. I feel like it really adds to the look of them.

May the Force Be With You

2012-04-24T13:56:00.000-04:00

Sean is a big Star Wars fan. REALLY big. ABout six weeks ago the Star Wars dress first appeared in my shop. It has been a fairly popular dress. As soon as Mickey saw it she wanted one. One for her and she wanted Baby Deanna to match her. Sean took one look at the fabric and simply had to have a pair of shorts. So, here they are - two dresses, a pair of shorts and I decided to make an applique shirt as well. I'm kind of loving the Mickey heads with Disney characters - I've got a bunch in the shop.

The funny thing about the shorts is how surprised I was that Sean wanted ones like these. Last year I decided that he was too old for shorts like this. Ones that were all character material. I started making him ones that were denim with characters on the back pockets. He was never thrilled with them. So, when it came time for shorts this year he flat out asked me to make this style instead of the other. Sure, I can do that.

Seeing the two dresses together like this I just cannot wait to see them on the girls. Mickey is so excited about matching the baby. I remember when Sean was this excited about matching her - right after she was born. I love watching how the two big kids bond with the baby. Siblings rock!

I did manage to make a dress for Kenzie yesterday as well (after finishing the t-shirt dress and shirt). That one I added to the shop already. Anyone else participating in the challenge? How is your list coming along? Are you accomplishing everything you hoped you would?

Turn Your Old T-Shirt Into A Dress For Your Baby

2012-04-23T10:16:00.000-04:00

So, today on the first day of the challenge I decided I wanted to take some shirts of mine that I had lying around and turn them into dresses for Baby Deanna. I have been experimenting with this idea for a few weeks and finally have the pattern to where I really like it. I really like doing it. There is just something fun about seeing my baby in something I used to wear. I happen to especially like this dress I made her that was made from an old maternity shirt of mine. I like it so much I figured I would share with you how to do it so you can have fun seeing your child in your old shirts. :)

First you need the pattern pieces - the sleeves, the top and the skirt. This pattern is for a size 18m dress. Okay, now that you have those we can get started. I actually made two dresses today and I will be using both as examples.

The first thing you are going to want to cut out is the sleeves. You want to cut them on an already created hem because that is less work for you later. If your shirt has sleeves then cut them off and use them to make the new sleeves. If not then use the bottom of the shirt. The only trouble with that is it means your dress may need to be a little shorter. This tank is a size medium maternity top and I would say it can only make a 12m at max. Deanna can still get away with a 12m dress but not for much longer. The shirt is a small mens shirt. It easily made an 18m dress and I actually had some length that I cut off and threw away.

Okay, now that you have your sleeves cut out go ahead and get your top and skirt pieces. You are going to want to place the top and the skirt right next to each other. You certainly could print two of each and place all four pieces next to each other. I just cut one side, move the pattern and then cut the other.

Be sure to cut the neckline all the way up so that it cuts threw your existing neck line as well. Now, you have the front and back pieces and two sleeves. It is time to sew.

The first thing you are going to sew is the sides. I use a French seam but you don't have to. Most t-shirts do not fray so you would be fine with just a straight stitch if you wanted.

Next you are going to sew the bottom hem. I used a double needle stitch because it mirrored the already existing hems on the shirt. A single row of stitching would be plenty.

Next you will need to sew your sleeves together. The two short ends get sewn together. Creating an almost tube like looking piece of material.

Now, you need to pin down your neck line. You will take the back piece and pin it over the front. The two pieces (front and back) will overlap just a little and both raw edges will meet on the sides where the sleeves will be added.

Now, turn your dress inside out and pin your sleeves (which should be RIGHT SIDE OUT) to the sleeve spots. Be careful to make sure your neckline remains overlapping and flat at the sleeve hem line.

Once your sleeves are on you are done. Then you can put it on your super cute baby and smile.

For the tank dress I felt that it was a little plain and so I added ribbon right underneath the sleeves. As I was looking at this completed dress I kept thinking about how it was the shirt that I was wearing when I went into labor with Mickey. Since I have had good luck with jumper dresses ending up as shirts I decided to try it on Mickey.

And it turned out to be a really cute shirt on her. I'm SO excited. She is keeping this one I think. I LOVE seeing her in it and she loves that I wore it when she was in my belly. So, there you have it - a dress for your baby or a t-shirt for your preschooler. :)

Linked to Make Yourself Monday :)

Taking The Week Off

2012-04-22T08:24:00.000-04:00

This coming week is Kid's Clothes Week Challenge over at Elsie Marley. I participated last year but I was not as accustomed to sewing daily then. Now, sewing everyday is pretty typical for me. I have been very blessed in the last year, my etsy shop has done very well. Better then I even hoped for a year ago. Of course, along with my shops growth my dreams for my shop has grown. :)

The challenge is to sew kid's clothing for at least one hour per day everyday from the 23 - 30. Since I sew kids clothes pretty much daily anyway I enhanced the challenge for myself to sew clothes for my kids at least one hour everyday. I figure I will sew any orders for my shop and then an additional hour of things for my kids. I am really excited about it. I have lots of ideas/plans about what I want to make for my kids but I seem to regularly end up putting them off.

So what is on my list?

For Sean -

a pair of Star Wars pajamas

a pair of Star Wars shorts - to match this dress

an applique shirt (like this one) with the Star Wars fabric to match the shorts

For Mickey

a party dress

a princess peasant dress (like this one)

a Wall-E dress (like the Star Wars dress in the fabric from these shorts)

a Star Wars nightgown that will match Sean's pajamas

For Kenzie

a Batman Sun Dress (like this one)

a Scooy Doo Dress

For Deanna

a dress made from a maternity shirt of mine (like this one)

a Star Wars Dress to match Sean's shorts

a princess peasant dress to match Mickey's dress

Do I really expect to finish all of that this week? Probably not but I am going to try. As such I will be taking a break from blogging about RAD, attachment, life, etc. I will skip a therapeutic parenting moment post for this week (you can expect one on May 1st). Tomorrow starts our respite and I am giving myself a mental respite as well. Kenzie will go off to her grandparents and I will sew. I will take this week off of writing (and reading) about RAD and attachment. I WILL be blogging about kids clothes. I have a tutorial post on turning a shirt into a dress, possibly one on making a doll peasant dress. I will post details and pictures about what I make as I finish things. So, Happy Kid's Clothes Week everyone!

The Pink Dress

2012-04-21T07:25:00.000-04:00

When I first put this dress on Deanna the other day I remarked to Michael that Deanna is a bigger kid then Mickey is. After all Mickey wore this when we were in Ethiopia. But as I was looking at Deanna in it today I realized that Mickey was not really that much older. Mickey was fourteen months old when we were in Ethiopia. Deanna is ten and a half months old now. Sure, four months is a lot in the life of a baby. Mickey was walking when she wore this dress and Deanna is not. She probably will before she outgrows the dress, though.

It makes me realize just how much of a baby Mickey was when we went to pick up Kenzie. Now, I know people have Irish twins all the time and if Kenzie had not turned out to have the issues she does it would not matter. But today I look at my baby in this dress and I am a little sad for how fast I made her sister grow up. How she had to leave her place as "the baby" before she was ready. And she did not even get the "best friend" pay off that was expected.

Because that is what you say when you have babies so close in age. Sure, it will be hard now but in a few years they will be best friends. Except they are not. And I am sad about it today.

Therapeutic Parenting Moment of the Week

2012-04-19T17:34:00.000-04:00

As I said the other day the better we get at therapeutic parenting the worse she seems to get. This reality is hard on me. The things I have learned (am learning) to accept in my daily life make me sad. They make me feel guilty. The acceptance of her limitations and the ways that her limits separate us from her make me feel both sad and guilty. They often make me question what I am doing, what I can do differently. Luckily, she does do straight out crazy things often enough that I am reminded regularly that this is really her and not me.

As such we haven't had a ton of effective therapeutic parenting moments this week. I've had good moments. I've been playful. I've refused to get mad. I've let things go. I've made mistakes too, don't get me wrong. Unfortunately, none of the things I've done have REALLY worked in the moment. She has raged anyway. She has refused to get dressed, to put shoes on and to eat. Overall, I know that these things mean that as a whole it is working. She is scared by the happier atmosphere in our home. She has won for the moment. She has pulled out the big guns and has started refusing meals. That is very hard on the other kids. They are struggling to find a way to be happy even when she's not. Her not eating and being upset and rarely coming out of it has left them stress and sort of beaten-down. That has us preparing for another period of respite where she will visit with her grandparents.

We did, however, have one really great therapeutic parenting moment. It involves Sean more so than her but it was still pretty awesome. When the two big kids are struggling we see it in their behaviors. Mickey babifies - meaning that she whines and wants to be held a lot and cries more. Truthfully, these things seem harder to deal with and I struggle to therapeutic parent her through it. Sean, on the other hand, gets a little obnoxious. He gets on my nerves. I can generally tell that it is becoming a problem based on the fact that I am feeling frustrated with him every time he speaks.

So, on Tuesday, we were heading out to the fabric store and I had promised the kids that we could take a trip to Barnes and Noble after we were done. Makenzie was in high form that day and the kids were having a hard time dealing. I was feeling okay but I'm sure I could have done better. As we were getting in the car I gave the kids a review of how I wanted them to behave at the store and how we would skip the book store if they were unable to behave. In my head I'm preparing for disaster. Sean did something (and I already cannot remember what it was) and all of a sudden a lightbulb went off in my brain. "Get out of the car and come over here," I said to him. He slumped and came out of the car, preparing for a scolding. As soon as he reached me I picked him up and gave him a hug. I put his arms around me and I squeezed him. "I wanted to give you a hug and get a hug from you because I keep having to talk to you which tells me that you are feeling pretty crummy. So, I wanted to give you a little extra love and, honestly, I am feeling pretty crummy myself so I could use a little extra love too." He gave me this big bear hug and I could just feel his body relax. Just as I was getting ready to put him down Mickey came out of the car and jumped on us. "I needed extra love too," she said.

After that we went out. We went to the fabric store and to the book store. We had no behavior issues (from Sean or Mickey). We had a good day. And everyone felt good. It was a successful moment. I am glad I caught it. Ignore the absolutely awful picture of me and notice only the smile on my boys face. :)