Our Life Upstate

If Only There Were A Way....

2010-03-11T23:00:00.000-05:00

Lately, I feel very sad. I miss my brother and sister a lot. I feel like a huge part of myself is being pulled to them. This is their senior year in high school. They have a lot of big events going on. They will have prom, grad night, my sister has her last school play ever and of course, graduation. Hubby, the kids and I already have plane tickets to fly down there and go to their graduation. And I am greatly looking forward to it. The kids and I will be down there for an entire week (Hubby will come home a few days earlier because he has to work) and then my brother and sister will come back with us to visit for a week. It is three months away. And I cannot wait.

However, all of these other things will happen between now and then. The big one that hits me in the gut and kind of makes me want to cry is my sister's play. I cannot tell you why but it feels so sad to me that I cannot be there. I so desperately want to. The most aggrivating part is that the week of the show is the week Hubby is off for Spring Break. Which means it is only money keeping us from going - or me from going. Yes, I am willing to leave my family behind for three or four days and fly down to Florida by myself to be there and see her show. I WANT to in fact. Doesn't that tell you just how much I want to get to be there? When do I EVER want to be away from my family? Just writing this I am in tears.

I miss them. I want to be able to be there for these big events. Sure, being there for things like prom and getting to see them all dressed up would be awesome. Sure, I'd love to get to see them and their friends getting into a limo but in the end I know how unrealistic that is. I know I cannot go down there now and stay until June (although, my sister has offered to hide me in her room if I want). I know I have things to do here. But it feels like I am SO CLOSE to being able to go to the show. It feels like I am just not seeing something in front of my face.

Sigh. I am very sad right now. And so my Aloha Friday question to you this week is if you could plan a trip to anywere where would you plan to go? You, obviously know my answer.

My Quiet Place

2010-03-10T21:57:00.002-05:00

This is my quiet place. This is the one time throughout the day that I just get to sit and be quiet. Two times a day actually. For both nap and bed I sit in this chair with this sweet baby girl in my arms. I sit for approximately 20 minutes each time. At first it seemed to me that 40 minutes out of my day was an awful lot. It seemed like I needed those minutes to myself. That sitting there in that chair was taking time away from me. But once I started to do it I realized that this quiet time is the best and purest me time I could possibly get. The first few minutes usually involve me convincing her not to play and not to talk and to put her head down. But as soon as she does she curls into me and snuggles her head into my chest. Pretty soon her eyes start to droop and I watch my baby fall asleep. I lean back in the chair and I let her body get heavy. I let my arms carry her weight. I let my heart fill with love and pride and overwhelming emotions. I will rest my head on her head. I will kiss her nose, her forehead, her cheeks and her neck. I will run my hand through her hair. I will hug her and hold her. I often consider just sitting there with her until she wakes up. Just continuing to hold her.

Because sitting there in that chair is my quiet space. It is the space where I enjoy the quiet. I enjoy the time to think and reflect on my life. It is the time when I no longer feel overwhelmed. It is the time when I know exactly who I am and exactly what I want out of life. In these moments when I sit and snuggle the only one of my three children who wants to fall asleep in my arms I no longer feel the weight of all the things I do wrong. I no longer feel unsure of anything. Sitting there in that quiet space I am the purest form of me that I can ever be. This is my quiet place. And it is my favorite time of the day. Time to just be quiet.

To see other people's version of quiet check out You Capture over at I Should Be Folding Laundry.

Mommy's Little Helper

2010-03-09T22:20:00.001-05:00

And she does windows too!

For more Wordless Wednesday see 5minutesformom, and for more Wordful Wednesday see Seven Clown Circus.

What's She Doing Now?

2010-03-08T22:21:00.000-05:00

Can you figure out what this child is doing in this picture? Yep, you guessed it!! She is CRAWLING!!! It is kind of a cross between an army crawl and an inch worm but none the less she is getting all around the family room and into everything. She follows Big Sister and Big Brother around. She crawls after me when I walk past. It is amazing!! It warms my heart. Just a month ago I was fairly concerned that she was going to need physical therapy pretty soon. And that was okay. I was preparing myself. I had figured I would give it just a litle while longer until she clearly fell out of the spectrum for when kids start doing things like crawling. But here she is!! She can do it. And I am so excited for her.

Plus, along with crawling has come all the other things. She officially crawled for the first time last Saturday (not this past one the one before). By the following Wednesday she was sitting herself up. Then on Friday I found her trying to pull herself to standing. This is HUGE because she has never liked to be in the standing position. That reflex that babies are born with to plant their feet on the ground seems to have been pushed out of her by spending so much time on her back in the orphanage. So, to see her trying to stand makes me so incredibly happy. She is growing and developing and is fairly on target. Nothing could possibly make me happier. I am considring all of this amazing development her (slightly early) birthday present to me (my birthday is on Thursday).

Each Other

2010-03-07T21:18:00.001-05:00

There are years of kisses and hugs ahead. Years of bruised knees that need kisses to get better. Years of slights and hurts that can only get better in my arms or Daddy's arms. Years of triumphs that will not feel complete until you have shared them with us. Years of days just like today when you are fighting over who gets to sit with me. Years of the three of us being a pack. Years of us being the girls and enjoying all kinds of girly things together. First we will play baby dolls and dress up. We will do thing like have tea parties - I am sure we will add a trip to the American Girl Store to our annual best day of the year. Then we will go dress shopping. You will learn to wear make up. I will get to teach you. We will giggle and do each other's hair. We will tell secrets and share stories. We will spend endless hours talking and playing and loving. I will tell you about when I was your age - you will think I am old and I don't understand.

And that is when the change will start. The change that will turn me into someone you hide things from. I know it will happen. I know you will think I am so out of touch and I just don't get it. I know that when I give you my wise motherly advice you will roll your eyes at me. The two of you will run up the stairs and into a room and share secrets. Secrets you will not want me to know. Secrets that you think I cannot possibly understand. I know that one day I will no longer be the one you want to kiss your hurts, or hug away your broken hearts. I know that you will one day think I am so old I have obviously never been through what you are going through. I assure you you are wrong but you will not care. You will be sure you know everything and I know nothing.

That's okay, though. You will always have each other. You will be able to go to each other when you think I do not get it. You will be a pair when you drop me from our trio. And I am glad that you have each other. I am glad that when you do not want to tell me about the cute guy you met the other day that you are hoping will ask you out you will have each other. I am glad that when you are kissed for the first time you will each have the other one to come home and tell your big news too.

I hope that you always know that I love you and that I want what is best for you. I hope that you always know that even when I do not understand (although, I do understand - I have been there and I have been through everything you are going through) I only want to help see you through it. I hope you always know that you can come to me with whatever it is and I will help you through it. I hope you always know that I am so happy to be your mommy. And most of all I hope you always know how lucky you are to have each other.

Fettucini Alfredo

2010-03-06T22:16:00.005-05:00

My wife's birthday is coming up and that means Fettucini Alfredo. It's her absolute favorite and has been ever since she was a kid. The best part about it is that it's so incredibly easy to make. The most important thing to remember is that it takes patience - don't rush adding the cheese in and don't overdo the heat. If you take your time, it'll turn out fine. Enjoy!

Fettucini Alfredo

Ingredients:

12 oz. Romano Cheese
1 lb. Fettucini
1 1/2 quarts Half and Half
1 egg yolk

Steps:
1) Boil and Drain Fettucini.
2) Put Fettucini into a large pan.
3) Add Half and Half until Fettucini is almost covered.
4) Warm mixture on medium high heat.
5) Add 1 Egg Yolk and mix well.
6) Add Romano Cheese, 1 spoonfull at a time.
7) Cook until well mixed and sauce thickens.

posted by Hubby (@mrmikesings)

I am linking this post to Homemaker Mondays, Just Something I Whipped Up, Make Your Monday, Tackle It Tuesday, Tempt My Tummy Tuesday amd Tuesdays At The Table

Being Honest Is Being Supportive

2010-03-06T15:27:00.003-05:00

So, for those of you involved in International Adoption you know that there is a world of frustration that goes along with it. You know that the wait for your child is long and hard. You know that the bumps along the way make you cry. You know time drags. You know that even the steps to the process can be overwhelmingly frustrating. You know that the time it takes people to sign a simple piece of paper can be frustrating.

You probably also know that anytime there are changes in the process it can be scary. As soon as the proposed changes are announced everyone goes into panic mode. No one knows for sure who will be affected. No one knows for sure exact how the changes will take place or even exactly when they will start. For those of you not in the International Adoption world that probably sounds insane. But none the less it is true. It is really that crazy and the crazier it is the scarier it is.

Well, unfortunately, Ethiopia has just initiated a change. A change that has come to be because of a silly "documentary" done several months ago. I told you about it while I was in Ethiopia. I just edited it to add the link to the new change. At this moment the change is minor. However, I have seen this same change happen in both Guatemala and Vietnam. I have seen how this changed led to the eventual shut down of those countries. We can argue the good and bad of that but we cannot argue that it happened.

Well, I said just this on a list that I belong to. One with other families who either have or are adopting from Ethiopia. I stated the fact that I fear for the future of adoptions from Ethiopia. And people do not want to hear that. And that is okay. I understand. People are scared. However, I am getting emails from a slew of people about how I am being unsupportive and trying to scare people. I keep hearing that I should remain positive. And I am so frustrated. I am beyond frustrated. Look if people want to put blinders on and not hear what I am saying fine. If people want to say that they choose to have faith in the system or faith that God led them to this path and this country then great. If people want to believe that what I have seen and been through cannot happen to them then fine.

However, being honest about what I see, what I fear, what I have seen amd what I have gone through IS being supportive. I am telling my story and I am not doing so to be scary. I am doing so to support people. To support them and let them know that if they see this as a sign of bad things they are not the only ones. I am also saying it so support people who may think about what I say and realize that another path is for them. I am so frustrated with the concept that the only way to support someone is to say what they want to hear.

I am posting this here for two reasons. One I need to get it out and I am hoping I can close my eyes to it all after posting this and walk away. Two I promised the good people on the list that no longer want to hear my gloom and doom that I will not talk about it anymore. And yet I continue to get very angry emails from people who are telling me to "shut up." Well, I will - on their list. It is all of ours and while I feel very much a part of it I will still respect them. However, I will not be told that I am being "unsupportive" and "mean." I will not be told that I "apparently have a grudge against the system and do not want to see other people happy." I simply will not be told those things and remain silent about it. I feel that being honest is being supportive.

Now, what is there to be done. I say write to your Congressmen now. Do not wait until families are left waiting for months and months to bring their children home. Do not wait until you see the grave injustices that happened in both Guatemala and Vietnam. Take action now. Send letter after letter until you get some answers about exactly what they are investigating, why they are choosing to investigate it now and when will these investigations stop. Be your child's advocate - even if you do not have a referral yet. They are still your children. And if you have a child home already be an advocate for those still there. Write to your Congressmen with the same questions. Contact local media and see if they will do a puff piece on the good that is Ethiopian adoption. And lastly if you are looking to start an adoption to Ethiopia right now - do it quickly. Get your dossier done as quickly as possible. Get on the wait list. Get going quickly. Get there and get home.

Don't Forget To Brush

2010-03-05T23:14:00.002-05:00

I just had to share this picture of Little Sister brushing her teeth!!

PBM Wins Lawsuit

2010-03-05T23:00:00.002-05:00

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of PBM Products. All opinions are 100% mine.

You all know that I have worked very hard to provide breast milk for Little Sister. You all know how strongly I believe in breastfeeding. You all know how angry I am with Nestle for what they are doing in Ethiopia. You are probably also aware that Big Brother drank formula when he was a baby. When we picked him up from Guatemala he was drinking Similac so that is what we used. And now I think I can feel confident that they were the company I used. Because it turns out that Mead Johnson (the makers of Enfamil) are underhanded and deceiving as well.

In case you have not heard PBM Products (the company who makes generic brand formula found in Walmart, Target, and many other stores) has won a lawsuit against Mead Johnson because of a commercial they ran. The commercial insuiated that Enfamil LIPIL is healthier than generic brands. The plain and simple fact about formula is that it is regulated by the FDA, which means that ALL brands are the same nutritional value. So, the lawsuit was basically a false advertising suit and it is accurate. PBM won $13.5 million dollars. And personally, I am glad. I am glad that Mead Johnson will be paying for that one.

I only wish they could have to pay back all the families who paid extra money for Enfamil. Over time it will cost a family extra hundreds of dollars. And personally I could use that hundreds of dollars. So, I am very frustrated with Mead Johnson for kicking people while they are down. Because in truth most moms who have made the decision to feed their babies formula are already cautious and feeling a little guilty.

We all know that breast milk is best. And the truth is that all moms (even those of us who have given our babies' formula) want our babies' to be getting the best thing they possibly can. I know I was desperate for my baby to get the best thing out there. And so when someone suggests that one formula is better than another we moms are ready, willing and able to jump through whatever hoops we have to get what is best for our baby. So, Mead Johnson I say Shame on you as well.

Is It Just Me?

2010-03-04T23:00:00.001-05:00

Most mornings Big Sister wakes up around 8 or 8:30 (yes, you can be totally jealous that I get to sleep that late most days - I would be). We get up and I take her to go potty. We trade the diaper for underwear and by the time we are done with that we go get Little Sister up. Usually Big Brother has been playing in the family room for a little while already and will jump up and down and get very excited when he sees us. We all go get Little Sister and then I get everyone some breakfast. Most days while they eat I will go get dressed, sometimes I will clean the kitchen but if I do that I wind up in pajamas most of the day. :)

After breakfast we do school work. Big Brother will bring a book and read to me and while we do that the girls will play. Then I set Big Brother up to do his writing and math work. And while he does that I will usually check my email and my facebook and my twitter accounts. I might do a little blog reading and then I go off to do the cleaning in the kitchen, or maybe a little sewing for my etsy shop. After Big Brother is done with his school work on days that we do not have anywhere to go the kids will play while I do more of these things. Eventually I will sit back down and read a book - or maybe read to the kids. I will usually have my computer open so that I can chat on twitter or on facebook with a friend (or two or three).

Soon enough it is lunch time and I will make lunch and feed the kids. Then the girls have to be put down for naps and then I usually read a chapter or two to Big Brother. And then I sit there and I read my book, read blogs, chat on twitter, chat on facebook, write a blog post and just basically hang with my computer. Big Brother will come and talk to me. We share secrets and plans during this quiet time of the day. Big Sister will wake up and I will take her to go potty and then come back to what I was doing. She sits with me. We talk (she LOVES to talk) and eventually she gets up to play. Little Sister gets up and by then Hubby is usually home so I will do my thing and talk to him and the kids. But still my computer is usually open and I find myself chatting with my friends plenty. My friends who are not surprised when it takes ten minutes (or thirty) to answer and are not insulted when I arbitrarily leave with no notice.

Hubby finds this very annoying. He finds it very frustrating. And so my Aloha Friday question for this week is do you spend your day with your computer or your phone chatting away with your internet friends? Please tell me it is not just me!!

Overwhelmed

2010-03-03T22:21:00.000-05:00

Do you ever have a day where you just feel like you need a break? Like you just need everything and everyone to stop? A day where it feels like if one more person asks you to do one more thing for them you very well might explode? A day where everyone in your life seems to be pulling you in different directions? A day where the things that you have to do are so endless that you cannot seem to go do any of them? A day where you feel so utterly lost you cannot even begin to figure out where you are going?

This is how I feel lately. I do not know what is up with me. I feel so incredibly overwhelmed. I used to be someone that always wanted to be out doing things but now I rarely want to leave my house. I rarely want to leave my couch. The other day I needed something from the store and the idea of putting all three kids in the car and driving to the store, getting everyone back out of the car, going inside, getting my one item, getting back in the car, driving home and getting everyone out of the car (AGAIN) and into the house was completely and totally overwhelming. I opted not to go and sent Hubby on his way home instead.

And I wondered about when I became that mom. The mom who was not going out if she did not absolutely have to. I totally do not want to be that mom. I could barely get myself excited about going to the outdoor hockey game a week ago. Once I was there I had a great time but getting ready for it - I would have much preferred to stay home. It is awful. I am in a funk and I do not know how to get past it.

Do you think that if I force myself to go to the store and not call Hubby and make him go on the way home it would get better? Or is knowing my limits better? Am I better off staying home when the idea of going out is overwhelming? Or do I need to force myself to go and do and be me again? I do not know. I am so lost. I am so overwhelmed.

And I do not know why. The people in my life are awesome! I have this wonderful husband who loves me, takes care of me, provides for me, supports me, loves our kids and is really the best husband ever. I have these three terrific kids. Kids who are pretty much perfect - or as perfect as they can be. Three kids who make my life full and wonderful and happy. Three kids, a husband, a house, two cats and a dog. It's perfect - so why am I unable to go to the store when I need to?

I Hope This Helps Me

2010-03-03T20:56:00.007-05:00

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of wellnessdaily.com. All opinions are 100% mine.

So, I have told you all before how I really want to lose these last 15 pounds. That I am determined to do it. And I get determined for a week or two and I lose a few pounds and then life gets too hectic and I loose my motivation. But I really really want to lose this weight. I want to loose the weight to be an example to my children of how being overweight is not good for you. And make no mistake that even if it is only 15 pounds I am overweight. I want to loose this weight so I can feel better about myself. I want to loose this weight to be healthy and fit and because I set my mind to it and I really want to accomplish it.

I checked out www.wellnessdaily.com and I love that it has everything I need to be helpful. The first time I lost weight I had Hubby to do it with me. That gave me an instant community and someone to help. This time I am on my own. So, I love that Wellness Daily is a full community. Another great thing about the site is that it has a section with lots and lots of recipes. I need that. The more recipes the better, That is one of the biggest things that I struggle with - cooking things that will help me to in my quest to loose weight. I also love that the site has a section on eating healthy. The last time I followed the Weight Watchers plan to a t and it worked excellently. This time I am having trouble getting back on the wagon. But the one thing Weight Watchers is missing is true healthy eating tips. I want that for my family too.

And if all of that is not cool enough reason to become a member of Wellness Daily I have one more reason for you. Once you have signed up you can join their Twitter contest. It is a prize package that includes coupons for a year-long supply of Jennie-O Turkey Store product and a one-year gym membership, valued at $1,250. All you have to do is tweet - “Enter to win $ towards a gym membership & JENNIE-O turkey products. Just follow @wellness_daily & RT this! http://bit.ly/tbd123.&quot" and you are entered.

Enjoying A Snow Day

2010-03-02T22:21:00.000-05:00

Last week Hubby got two snow days - Thursday and Friday! The kids LOVED having him home. Big Brother especially loved going outside with him and playing in the snow while Hubby did the snowblowing. Big Brother even got to "help" some with the shoveling.

My absolute favorite part is the fact that his coat is not zipped up. He is so my kid - he would never wear a coat if we did not make him :)

For more Wordless Wednesday see 5minutesformom, and for more Wordful Wednesday see Seven Clown Circus.

This Is Good For A Laugh

2010-03-01T21:37:00.000-05:00

So, the other night the family and I went out to Johnny Rocket's for dinner. When we were done eating Hubby took Big Brother and Little Sister to the Apple store to return my power cord while I stayed and behind to wait for the milkshakes we were taking home with us. They were playing some rocking song like Margaritaville or Cheeseburger in Paradise and I was singing along and dancing with Big Sister. Yes, we were standing at the counter waiting on our milkshakes and I was singing and dancing. Yes, I know how much of a dork that makes me - which is what makes the story even funnier.

All of a sudden a young guy, a kid really (early twenties - must have been a college kid) comes up and stands next to us. I immediately stop bouncing around and remember that I am making a fool of myself in a public place. Big Sister does not take the hint and starts to sing louder - but that's okay she is one and cute as opposed to me who is .... well, not one and not cute. :) The guy is young but he is kinda cute too. I smile at him and then the following conversation ensues:

College Kid - She is so cute. Is she your sister?
Me - (trying not to laugh in his face) Well, that is flattering but no she is my daughter.
College Kid - Oh, so I guess that means you have a husband too?
Me - (smiling and still trying REALLY hard not to laugh) Yes, I have a husband.
College Kid - Too bad.
Me - Umm... thanks.

At that point our milkshakes are ready and we leave. I swear I wanted to tell the guy I was practically old enough to be HIS mother. Well, that is an exaggeration but none the less I found it so amusing. Hubby says he cannot figure out why it is so funny but it really really was. I suppose the idea that this kid looked at me and did not immediately see a mom may be what put me over the top. Maybe I just feel old, but I feel like I certainly look old enough to have a one year old. And I MOST CERTAINLY do NOT look young enough to have a one year old sister. Anyway, it made me chuckle so I hope it does the same for you. :)

The Things We Do Not Share

2010-02-28T21:03:00.003-05:00

How much is too much? How much do we share? Do we share it all? Do we share our deepest, darkest secrets? Do we share them here? In this open forum for everyone to see? Do we share them in some obscure part of the internet where no one we know reads? Maybe not. Maybe the internet is not the place for our deepest darkest secrets. Maybe those things need to be shared in a more private, controlled environment.

So do we share them with our friends? Do we share them with our family? Do we share them with our parents? Our children? Maybe not. Maybe we cannot let these people in. Maybe these people are the reason to not share our secrets on the internet at all. Maybe these people are the ones we fear will know the truth about us. Maybe these people, the ones closest to us are the ones we are hiding from.

Do we share with our spouse? Ah and there is the question. There is the determination. The determination of who we are and what we are hiding. Do we share our deepest darkest secrets with the one we love the most. Maybe we do not. Maybe we hide it even from them. Maybe some secrets we keep only to ourselves. But then again maybe we do tell and they love us anyway. Maybe we do share and they are the ones who see through the pain and help us make it back to a more pleasant reality. Maybe we share these secrets with this one person who knows us better than we even know ourselves.

Does that make them not so secret anymore? Does that make it okay that we hide these things from the rest of the world? Does letting our spouse really know us - and all of our secrets - make us okay? Does that mean we are not really hiding? Does it mean we are not really alone? Does it mean that we simply know who to tell what and when to keep quiet? Maybe. But then again maybe not.

Enchiladas

2010-02-27T23:09:00.007-05:00

Each year, our community hosts Latin-American Festival, a great chance to people to get out and celebrate everything that makes Latin-American cuture spectacular. Included, of course, are excellent music and, my favorite, food. I never make it out of the festival without picking up some enchiladas. But, what to do the rest of the year? My family and I have only made this recipe a few times but, boy, is it ever good. Enchiladas are made by taking a tortilla, wrapping it around a yummy filling, covering it with cheese, and baking it. Typically, enchiladas are made with corn tortillas. This recipes calls for flour tortillas instead. Either way, enjoy!

Enchiladas

Ingredients:

1 lb. Ground Beef
1 Small Onion, chopped
1 (1.5 oz.) pkg. Dry Enchilada Sauce Mix
10 (10 inch) Flour Tortillas
2 cups Cheddar Cheese, shredded
1 (2.25 oz.) can Sliced Black Olives, drained

Steps:
1) Preheat over to 350 degrees.
2) Cook ground beef and onion over medium high heat until beef is evenly browned and onion is tender.
3) Prepare the enchilada sauce according to package directions.
4) Pour 1/4 cup of the sauce into the bottom of a 9x13 inch baking dish.
5) On each tortilla, place an equal portion of the ground beef mixture.
6) To each tortilla, add 1 oz. cheddar cheese, reserving at least 1/2 cup of cheese.
7) Tightly roll tortillas and place, seam side down, in the baking dish.
8) Pour remaining sauce over the top of the enchiladas and sprinkle with the remaining cheese and olives.
9) Bake for 20 minutes or until sauce is bubbly and cheese is thoroughly melted.

Thanks to allrecipes.com for help with this one!

posted by Hubby (@mrmikesings)

I am linking this post to Homemaker Mondays, Just Something I Whipped Up, Make Your Monday, Tackle It Tuesday, Tempt My Tummy Tuesday amd Tuesdays At The Table

Where To Stay In Addis Ababa

2010-02-26T22:43:00.001-05:00

For awhile I have been meaning to write up my review of the absolutely lovely hotel we stayed at in Ethiopia. We stayed at The Yeka Guesthouse which is slightly off the beaten path in Addis Ababa and is beautiful and friendly and owned by the most wonderful woman. They have a cleaning staff - that actually cleans the place top to bottom every day. The rooms get cleaned. the floors get mopped, the sheets and towels get washed - daily! They have the most wonderful cook who works all the time. She only works half days on Sundays but otherwise she is always there and she is always happy to cook for you. And she is excellent!! I mean Big Brother ate better in Ethiopia than he does at home. We all loved her cooking.

We stayed in one of the smaller rooms at first. That cost $50 a night. It is a very large room with a queen size bed, table and two chairs as well as a desk. It also has a balcony and a small kitchen - no stove but it does have a range for boiling water and a tiny refrigerator which came in handy for storing bottles of breastmilk. And a big thing that it has (which does not seem like a big thing in America but is a big thing in Ethiopia) is a private bathroom. A full bath with a tub, sink, toilet - the whole deal. Like I said if you are traveling in America you would not even ask how many people share a bathroom - but in Ethiopia it is a good question to ask. So, to have your own bathroom is AWESOME!! And for us it was imperative. I simply cannot imagine having to walk my three kids up and down the hall every time someone needed to go to the bathroom or take a bath or anything.

After having been there for awhile and do to an odd turn of events we wound up moving into one of the larger rooms. Originally we were going to be in there for just one night but after that night we had no desire to move back. This room was $75 per night and honestly, if we had been in there from the start I think I would have been less stressed while I was alone. There was still the no going out rule that played a big part of why Hubby and I decided that he should come early (and of course the communication issue) but part of it was definitely being stuck in that one tiny room all the time. Point is it was WAY worth the extra $25 per night. This room was huge!!! It had a full bedroom - same size as before with a full bath. But this room also had a full living room and a full kitchen and a small dining area.

Once we were in there we could cook. The girls could take naps and Big Brother could play. School work started happening (albeit inconsistently). The kids could go to sleep and Hubby and I could sit up and talk - and NOT be sitting in the hallway. Life started to take on it's fairly regular pattern. Both rooms came equipped with tvs but we did not even turn on the one in the smaller room. Once in this larger room where the tv is in the living room we did watch some at night while the kids were sleeping. There were a handful of channels - we mostly watched the movie channel.

In addition the hotel has a small gift shop downstairs - there are some traditional Ethiopian things in there as well as some convenience items. baby wipes, disposable diapers, candy bars and cookies. We bought cookies from the little shop a few times. Big Sister got very frustrated about not having any cookies after about two weeks.

As I said before the owner is super duper nice. She drove us to the airport herself. We needed a car for our things and another one for us so she had her driver take our things (rides to and from the airport are included in the cost of your room by the way) and she drove us herself. One morning Sunday morning she went to church with us. That was an awesome experience. She was fantastic. She also does lots of convenience things for you. You can exchange money with her, she will arrange a driver for you whenever you want.

The one downside is that she does not take credit cards. She does take traveler's cheques. She also excepts either birr (Ethiopian money) or American money. Things like the laundry service and meals (breakfast comes with the room all other meals you pay for - although they are VERY cheap) are simply added to your room bill and you pay when you are leaving. Or you can pay more often if you want to try to keep up with your bill.

Ultimately we loved it there. We were very happy and we were sad to leave. Big Brother cried the entire drive to the airport (okay it only took ten minutes but still he was very upset) and while we were waiting to check in. The people were so incredibly nice and it was just such a nice place to be. I am so glad that we stayed there. I think that the people there and the accomidations made a trip that could have been very difficult into a memory that we will have for the rest of our lives. The Yeka does not have a working website at the moment but if you are planning on traveling to Ethiopia and staying in Addis you should email them at yekaguesthouse at yahoo dot com and consider staying there.

U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A

2010-02-25T23:00:00.003-05:00

As you all know we are a hockey family. We have watched both the men's and women's hockey games. We mostly followed Team USA. I paid some attention to the teams some of my other Rangers were playing for but we only watched Team USA. Both teams started out really strong. The women won the first three in a row - allowing only one goal in those three games. The men also played well - not quite as dominant as the women - winning their first three as well. At that point both teams played in the semi-finals. As of tonight Team USA women won the silver (in a very disappointing loss to Canada) and the men will play tomorrow for the right to play for the gold.

It has been very fun to cheer for my country. This has been the first Olympics that I have ever really paid attention to. I remember my grandparents watching the Olympics when I was a kid but I was too young to even really know what the Olympics were. Well, no that's not really true - Big Brother is younger than I was and he gets it. But no one really told me about them so I did not really know. And then I never really cared. I kind of like gymnastics and sometimes I will watch one or two events but never enough to really be rooting on my country. This time we have watched almost every game.

And so my Aloha Friday question to you this week is - did you watch the Olympics? Which events did you watch?

Attachment and Bonding

2010-02-24T21:18:00.002-05:00

Attachment and Bonding - these are two huge words in the adoption world. They are words that we parents take to heart. We spend time researching and learning about. We learn the best ways to bond with our new children. We read up on signs of attachment. Signs of attachment disorders. We can tell you what we expect. We almost all say things like "we know there will be an adjustment period." "we know it takes time." "we are prepared for our new child to grieve the life they knew." And we are somewhat prepared, up until that moment our new child is placed in our arms.

When I picked Little Sister up she was so tiny and frail. Her head was about three times the weight of the rest of her. She could barely hold her head up. The number one thing I was concerned about with her was her health. I forgot all of the attachment things I was supposed to be doing and threw myself into getting her healthy. I am sure it played a part in my failing to nurse her. I would have fed her anything she would eat at that moment. I knew she needed food, I knew she needed caring for. I was extremely scared for her. And I was alone. With the other two kids with me too. I put Little Sister is the moby and tried the best I could to balance the three kids.

I had every intention of allowing her to sleep with me - well, with us since there was only one bed and we were all in it. But she did not sleep that way and the wonderful woman who owns the Yeka Guesthouse gave us a crib to help. So, Little Sister went in the crib. Now that is the second thing in my "bag of tricks" to facilitate attachment that I have failed to do. *sigh* But she is sleeping well and within just a few days I can already tell she is gaining weight. This is good.

After just a few more days I start to realize that I need to push her towards doing more than being a lump. This means I must put her down. I must get her some floor time. So, I get all the kids on the floor and I start working on getting Little Sister to sit up. And she DOES!! After just a few tries she gets it. She starts to sit there and happily watch Big Brother and Big Sister play. They, of course, are running around with the mini hockey sticks we managed to get in our bag and a piece of balled up paper. They all seem to be having fun.

I sit back and I watch. And I start thinking about all the reading I did on attachment and how I am doing everything wrong. Breastfeeding fosters attachment but that is not working, Co-sleeping fosters attachment but that does not seem to work, carrying her fosters attachment and okay I am carrying her plenty but I am also encouraging her to spend time playing independently. Each and every one of these decisions feels right individually but when I put them all together I wonder - am I hurting her ability to attach to us?

Time goes on, we come home and I'm still wrestling with these things. I am so torn. I do not know when to concern myself with her overall health and well being and when to concentrate on bonding and attachment. Once we are home Big Sister seems to realize that this fun new baby is here to stay and starts having days where all she wants is me. I have to try to balance the two. I am so lost. It starts to be especially bad when we are out. The minute I pick up Little Sister Big Sister starts to throw herself around and need me to pick her up. It is exhausting.

We have some wonderful friends who are more than willing to take Little Sister and snuggle her and give her some attention and love while I try to calm Big Sister down. I start to notice how frequently Little Sister is being held by someone else. She does not mind. She is happy that way. She likes people. She is super friendly. But does that hurt bonding? Will she not attach to us if I keep letting other people hold her? I try to draw the line. I try to not give into Big Sister as much. It seems to backfire. Big Sister gets harder to handle. She gets more clingy. And this forces me to rethink the whole thing.

I mean I can see Little Sister attaching to us. I can see the bonding. I see the way she now claps her hands when Hubby walks in after work. I see the way she reaches for us. I see the way her sweet face lights up when I smile at her. She did not smile for the first month or so of being with us. This picture is not the first time she smiled at us but it is the first picture I have of her really smiling - and it was taken almost two months after I picked her up. I do not let anyone else feed her. Or bathe her. Or change her. Or make her feel better when she is upset. Or do any of the most basic care things for her. Those are some of the big things that I have retained from my bonding and attachment reading.

But mostly I have calmed down. All of a sudden one day I remembered something someone said to me when I was concerned about Big Sister. When I thought she would never walk because she was always in the moby someone told me to calm down that we never see kids who are not walking at three because their moms are holding them. So, I decided to translate that to this situataion and cut myself some slack. I mean really if we fast forward two years (which is about the time that most books say it takes to foster a strong and permanent bond and attachment) do I actualy believe she will not be bonded to us because I have allowed other people to hold her? Would that be true if I had given birth to her? Of course not!! And so she will be my friendliest child. She will be the one that is happy to stay with a friend while I take Big Sister to the bathroom or run an errand. And that's okay - it does not mean she loves us any less. The fact that she does not cling to me like crazy and refuse to let anyone else hold her does not mean she is not bonding - it only means that she is friendly.

Mirabito Outdoor Classic

2010-02-23T23:00:00.000-05:00

This past weekend our local AHL team (Syracuse Crunch) did something remarkable. They played in the first ever outdoor AHL hockey game. Well, my family and I are big fans and so there was no way that we were going to miss it. The game was to be played about 15 minutes from my house. So, we left the house an hour and 15 minutes before the game started. And with half an hour left we knew we were not going to make it. We were about a mile from the game stuck in basically non-moving traffic on the highway. Hubby and I could not stand the idea that the whole family would miss the opening of the game so we decided that Hubby, Big Brother and Little Sister would get out and walk. Or well Hubby would walk, Little Sister would ride in the Ergo and Big Brother would ride on Hubby's shoulders. I SO wish I had gotten a picture!!! In the end the game was delayed and Big Sister (who got to stay with me because she was asleep) and I arrived at the game just as the first goal was scored by the Crunch, eight minutes into the first period.

Our view was a little blocked but it was still tons of fun!

One of the coolest things was the SU women's hockey team went out and shoveled the ice during commercial breaks.

My favorite goaltender was "the man between the pipes."

Big Sister spent the entire game in the Moby in my jacket - LOVE babywearing!!

Check out the cool new sweatshirt!!

A whole family picture - if only theSisters were looking!

The final score!

And the stick salute - I love when teams do that - the Rangers do it for every win.

For more Wordless Wednesday see 5minutesformom, and for more Wordful Wednesday see Seven Clown Circus.

Coming To An End

2010-02-22T21:37:00.000-05:00

The hockey season is winding down for Big Brother. The professional season still has some life in it and then they will have a post season and the playoffs - so there is plenty of hockey still around. But for Big Brother and his team the season is almost over. They played their last game this past Sunday. Against a team we had yet to play. It was fun. Big Brother and his team won!! But now it is over.

At the beginning of the season it feels like the season is taking over your life. By now it feels like your life IS hockey. And nothing but hockey. Between practices and games and ice skating trips for "extra" practice we spend most days doing something hockey related. Recently Big Brother has wanted to practice his shots - practice taking hard, fast and direct shots at the net. This is not something he can really do in the family room while his sisters are playing. So, Hubby went down to our basement and cleaned it out. And now Big Brother has an entire room in which he can play and practice hockey. He spends some part of everyday down there. And it seems to have helped - he got a really nice goal Sunday and several good shots. Hockey is his passion. It is his joy.

And now the season is coming to an end. Not that he won't have ANY playing to do - just not as much. He has a clinic he will be going to once a week for 9 weeks. We have signed up for a one week long hockey camp in the summer. We have paid an awful lot of money for all of that too. But still it makes me a little sad that the season is almost over. That there are no games left - that there are no big competitions to go to. That's it? How did the season go by so fast? How is that it is over already? How could this possibly be our third season? Over already? Three seasons gone by? It makes me sad. It makes me proud.

Dear Elderly Lady Who Touched My Child At The Hockey Game

2010-02-21T21:13:00.000-05:00

I have a rule. It is a simple rule. I would think it would be a common sense rule but apparently most people do not agree. My rule is this Do not touch my child and criticize my parenting at the same time. Just don't. I do not care how cold you think my child is, how hot you think they are, how sad you think they are, how much better of a parent you think you are or how you think you can fix it. If you feel the need to tell me any of the above or any other piece of parenting advice that you most simply cannot keep to yourself then do not touch my child.

Furthermore when I have told you to let go of my child - do so! Quickly, politely, and apologetically. You have just placed your hands on my child. You did not ask for permission and I (the child's parent) have just told you to stop touching her - do so! I do not care what your intention was, I do not care what you were thinking, I do not want to hear a defense of your action, just simply LET GO!

If you are refusing to do so understand that I will move away from you and your grubby hands. And I will take my child with me. This is not an invitation for you to reach out further and try to continue to touch my child. I still do not want to hear your reasoning for touching my child and I most certainly do not want you to be sitting in an obviously uncomfortable postion just so you can still have your hands on my child. No!! I am moving away from you because I want your hands off of my child.

And lastly, if after all of that you still continue to attempt to put your hands on my child while telling me I am a bad parent and trying to tell me how to be an excellent parent like you are I will get up and stomp away. As you learned there is a good likelihood I will yell at you while I do it. This could have been helped if you had followed the original rule and had enough common sense not to criticize me and my ability to parent my child while putting your hands on her. It could have been avoided had you listened when I asked you to stop touching her. It could have been avoided when I tried to move her out of your reach. But you did not want to listen any of those times so when I yell at you and tell you in no uncertain terms to not touch my child and walk to a different part of the bleachers do not look shocked and appalled. I am not the one who was disrespectful. That was you. If you are disrespectful to me and my children you will hear about. That all.

Arepas

2010-02-20T22:02:00.007-05:00

We have tackled Ethiopian recipes on this site and, now, we're smack in the middle of some great Latin American ones. My personal favorite are the tamales that we talked about last week. But a close second are the Arepas that we're going to talk about right now. Normally, we stuff them with some mozzarella cheese once they're all cooked up. But, lately we have filled them with that great Ethiopian food I mentioned: Doro (Chicken) Wat, Gomen Wat (Ethiopian Greens), and Kik Pea Alecha (Chick Peas Stew). Enjoy!

Arepas

Ingredients:

2 Cups Masarepa
1 tsp. Salt
3 Cups Warm Water
Butter (for grilling)

Steps:
1) In a bowl, combine Masarepa, salt, and water.
2) When the dough is mixed, let stand for 5 minutes.
3) Form the dough into patties about 4-5 inches across and 1/2 inch thick.
4) Coat a griddle or skillet with a small amount of butter.
5) On medium, cook arepas until lightly browned on each side.

Our thanks to Goya for a great recipe!

posted by Hubby (@mrmikesings)

I am linking this post to Homemaker Mondays, Just Something I Whipped Up, Make Your Monday, Tackle It Tuesday, Tempt My Tummy Tuesday amd Tuesdays At The Table

Goofy, Goofy, Goofy

2010-02-18T23:00:00.001-05:00

So, one of the biggest things I deal with when it comes to Big Brother is that he is sort of a goofy kid. He is a good kid, so even when it is inappropriate it is not terrible. He is sweet and kind. He listens really well but he is goofy. That is just who he is. He thinks it is VERY funny to stand in front of anyone of us and hold his arms out saying, "gate!" so that we have to try to push past him. It is one of his favorite things to do, but it annoys the rest of us. There are a bunch of small things like that and they start to add up. Some days they are just occasional and they are no big deal. Some days they are constant and Hubby or I end up just plain frustrated.

The reason that I consider this one of my biggest obstacles is because it has to do with who he is as a persona nd my desire to respect him and let him be himself. See, I don't mind disciplining him. I don't mind being strict when he is truly misbehaving but I'm not sure this is truly misbehaving. I mean sure if I tell him to stop and he doesn't listen that is a problem but otherwise he is just being himself. And I want to encourage that. I do not want him to internalize me being frustrated as a sign that I am not comfortable with who he really is. I'm not sure I am explaining this right.

Okay, let see. It's like this. If Dad was a super football star when he was in highschool and then son comes around and he's super smart. If Dad pushes him to be on the football team the kid's going to feel like who he is is not good enough. That is a grand scale but it is the point I am trying to make. I do not want Big Brother to feel that because I do not always find the humor in his behavior that I do not like who he is. I want to find a way to teach him when it IS okay to act like that and when it is not.

I want him to learn to be himself and yet to still be able to fit in with any situation. I want him to know when something is going too far. I want him to be able to pick up on when it is too much and when the people around him are just as happy being goofy and funny as he is. I am still trying to figure that out. I am working on it. It is somewhat of an uphill battle for me. It feels like I make strides some days and then other days I am lost again.

And so my Aloha Friday question to you this week is do your children have any behaviors/personality traits that you find difficult to deal with sometimes? And what do you do?

Just One Short Year

2010-02-17T21:21:00.000-05:00

This is what Big Brother and Big Sister looked like a year ago. It is amazing to me how different they look. Big Sister has no hair - none at all. Now she wears pig tails. And him? Wow!! He was so young - he was four and enjoying his last year before and kindergarten. And now he is is five going on six and learning so much I can barely keep up with him. It is pretty amazing how much can change in just one short year.

Not only do these two kids look very different than they did a year ago, they act very different as well. Back then Big Sister could not walk, she could not talk, she was just an ity bity baby really. Big Brother was just a fun loving kid who was happy to play and entertain himself. Now they are both so grown up it is crazy. Big Brother is now a very sweet boy (okay, he already was) who can read and write. He even wrote a poem for his science class a week ago. He is doing extremely well on his hockey team this year - it is unbelievable how much he has learned since then. Big Sister is a walking, talking machine. She is chatty and clever. She is incredibly sweet. She gives hugs and kisses all the time.

And the best change that has happened since this time last year is, of course, that they are no longer a duo - they are now a trio.