Our Life Upstate

To The One That Challenges Me

2010-02-08T21:13:00.002-05:00

Oh my baby girl. You get bigger everyday. You are still very much a baby - although, you probably do not think so. You seem to think you are all grown up. But I can see the baby in you. I can see that baby when you snuggle into my arms and rest your head on my shoulder as you try to sleep. I can hear that baby when you call for Daddy to come get you in the middle of the night. I can feel that baby when your tiny little hands reach over and grab a hold of my shirt as you snuggle into bed with Daddy and me. I hear that baby when you get hurt or when you are sad (not mind you when you do not get your way - then I hear the toddler in you). Yes, you are still very much a baby.

But you are also clearly a toddler. You are so much fun. Truth be told, you are at one of my favorite stages of life. Other people fear your age and all the things that go along with it but I love it. I love watching you learn to do new things. I love hearing you speak words for the first time. Hearing you tell your stories (even if I only understand half of them). I love watching you play with new things and figure out what those things are supposed to be. I love seeing your little eyes light up because you have figured it out. Or seeing you smile and hearing you laugh because you have done something that is funny.

You challenge me. You are a handful. Someone pointed out to me that my three kids were more of a handful than her five (meaning that she has older ones who can help) but really I think it is you that is the handful. Only you. You are messy. You throw temper tantrums. You are LOUD. And half the time I have no idea what to do for you. And even when I do it is a constantly struggle to be sure that your brother and sister are not losing out just because you are the loudest. So, yes you challenge me. I hope that I meeting that challenge. I hope I am being the best mom I can be to you. You seem to like me so I assume that means you are content with what I do. :)

You are an amazing sister. You truly love your brother and sister more than anything in the world. You surprised me from day one with the way you were able to love Little Sister. Now, I just love the way you go running to her and pat her belly or her back when she cries. It is so sweet. Oh and bed time kisses. It is so awesome to see you kiss Little Sister goodnight. And I know that you want nothing more out of life than to be just like Big Brother. And really you probably could not have picked a better role model.

You are a truly wonderful child who I feel very lucky to get to parent. You, just like your brother and your sister will forever and always be my baby. I wonder if you will always surprise me as much as you do now. I wonder if you will grow up and be just like me. I sort of hope you don't. I hope that you only take away the good things. But no matter what you say or do I will always love you more than you can possibly imagine right now.

To My Favorite Little Man

2010-02-07T22:38:00.000-05:00

I watched you sleeping the other morning. I came into your room to wake you up for your hockey game. You looked so sweet and so calm. My heart melted and I thought to myself. I thought can this be my baby. The baby that I held my arms not that long ago. The baby that I thought would never have the guts to do anything if I was not in the room. The timy little baby that I loved so much it almost hurt. How did you get so big? When did you turn from a baby to a little boy? When was the day? The hour? The exact moment? I do not remember it. I do not remember waking up one day to find you being a big kid. I mean I know you have been a big kid for a really long time now but I do not remember when it happened.

And you are such an amazing little kid. Such an amazing person. I am so proud of who you are and what you have accomplished. You have worked so hard to overcome obstacles. Reading was a battle between us just a few weeks ago and then yesterday you were reading all the magnets on the fridge and the headlines out of the newspaper. I was so impressed and proud. I did not dare point it out to you or tell you you were reading. You are not ready for that. You need your space and I understand that. But now you BEG me to sit and listen to you read and I am just so proud that you have accomplished this. I am so thrilled that you are beginning to see the wonder of being able to read to yourself. It is an exciting thing to watch your little mind expand.

Your sister's love you more than anything. They literally light up when they see you. Little Sister thinks EVERYTHING you do is funny. You look at her and she just laughs and laughs. It is so nice to see her smile at you. Big Sister on the other hand may not find you completely hysterical, but she wants to be just like you. She wants to do anything and everything that you do just because you do it. She is so happy when you are around (well, except when you annoy her but even then she wants to be with you). And she learns so much from you. Soon Little Sister will learn from you as well. It is fun and exciting to see them love you. And the fact that you love them as much as you do just warms my heart. The fact that you regularly beg me to have ten babies makes me happy. Do not get me wrong - you are not getting those ten babies - but it make me so happy to know that your love for your sister's runs so deep that you want more. Lots more.

You are truly amazing and I am so grateful that I get to be your mommy. I feel so lucky to have you for a son. You make me so happy. Sure you frustrate me sometimes. Sure there are times when I get annoyed or angry with you.I just do not know what to do with you but I love you so much I cannot stand it. My life would be so incomplete without you. I cannot imagine my life today without you. I love you with all my heart and you will forever and ever be my baby. No matter how big you get.

Kik Pea Alecha (Chick Peas Stew)

2010-02-06T22:00:00.001-05:00

So, you want to make a traditional Ethiopian meal? Well, you've come to the right place. It doesn't get more traditional than the crepe/pancake-like sour bread, Injera, topped with Doro (Chicken) Wat and Gomen Wat (Ethiopian Greens). The only thing missing would be Kik Pea Alecha, which is what we will tackle right now. Enjoy!

Kik Pea Alecha (Chick Peas/Garbanzo Beans Stew)

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups Onion, minced
1/4 cup Vegetable Oil
2 cups cooked Chick Peas (garbanzo beans)
1/2 tsp. Tumeric
1/2 tsp. Garlic Powder
1/4 tsp. Ginger
1 1/2 - 2 cups Water

Steps:
1) Cook Onions in Oil until clear.
2) Add Chick Peas, Tumeric, and 1 1/2 - 2 cups Water
3) Cook for 20 minutes
4) Add Garlic and Ginger
5) Cook until soft
6) Mash (or use blender or food processor to process until smooth)

Thanks so much to betumi.com for providing lots of parts of this recipe!

written by Hubby (@mrmikesings)

For other recipes and things check out these Homemaker Monday's, Mouthwatering Monday's, Just Something I Whipped Up and Make Your Monday.

How Much Money Does A Kid Need?

2010-02-04T23:00:00.000-05:00

Allowances have always seemed like a good idea to me. They have always seemed like an excellent way to teach kids about money. About responsibility. About spending and saving and all of those kinds of things. I have always known that I plan to give my kids an allowance. And that was pretty much all I ever thought about it. I knew I would do it one day. Decision made. End of thought.

Except that now Big Brother is getting older and I am left to wonder when and how much. Hubby and I have started to discuss this. I am arguing for $5 per week. Hubby is feeling like it should be $2 per week. I think that is not enough. That it is so small it will take him an impossible amount of time to save for anything he might want. Hubby thinks that if Big Brother gets $5 per week he will have so much money (for a little kid) that he will miss the whole point. So, we are at an impasse. Maybe he is too young. Maybe that is the problem. Maybe he is too young. Maybe in a year or two the number will be clear.

But since I am always interested in your advice my Aloha Friday question for this week is at what age do you think a child should start getting an allowance and how much do you think they should get?

Peeeee!

2010-02-03T21:18:00.000-05:00

Big Sister stares out into the room. Her eyes full of concentration. "Peeeeeee!" she says. And then I hear the tinkle of pee hitting the water in the toilet bowl. She claps her hands and has the biggest smile on her face. She is so proud of this accomplishment. I put my hand up and she gives me five. I, too, am very proud of her for this accomplishment. Not only has she managed to pee in the potty but SHE told ME she had to go.

That is a huge step. That means we are moving into a new stage. Now she not only knows how to control her bladder but she also knows how to listen to it. This is awesome. And it has only been three weeks. I am so impressed. This is the thing that generally takes kids the longest. And it is the thing that I am always so anxious to move on to. See, I hate listen to people bombard a kid with, "Do you need to go potty?" "Don't you think you should go to the bathroom?" "When was the last time you went to the bathroom?" etc, etc, etc. I mean really how would you feel if someone asked you questions like that all the time? It would make me crazy. So, it is always my favorite thing when a kid I am potty training starts to ask to use the bathroom. That is when I know we are moving in the right direction.

The down side to this stage is it also means that she will not necessarily go when I want her to. If we are heading out the door and I know we are going to be in the car for 30 minutes I want her to go potty before we leave. She does not think she has to and she refuses to sit on the toilet. She does not understand my logic. She is also experimenting with how long she can hold it. And sometimes, she thinks she can hold it longer than she can. But, truthfully, accidents do not bother me. Not at this stage anyway.

The American Academy of Pediatrics says that a child is not considered fully potty trained until they go six months without accidents. With that in mind we have a long way to go before she is completely potty trained. But to my mind a child is fully potty trained when they make it through most days without having any accidents. And that is about where we are and certainly where we are headed. I am happy and content with this. I think she has a lot to be proud of herself for, I think she has accomplished a lot and I think she is doing really, really well.

America's Next Top Model

2010-02-02T23:06:00.002-05:00

I mean, seriously, have you ever seen a prettier baby?

For more Wordless Wednesday see 5minutesformom, and for more Wordful Wednesday see Seven Clown Circus. I was not originally planning on adding this to the You Capture meme but when I saw that it was faces I figured I better add it because these are some awesome pictures of Little Sister's face.

Does Ellen Do Diapers? She Should!

2010-02-02T15:47:00.006-05:00

Kim, over at Dirty Diaper Laundry, has launched a campaign to get cloth diapers on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. You would think this would not be such a huge undertaking really. I mean Ellen does five shows per week, she's gotta be running out topics, right? Well, let's see what is she talking about this week? Ellen's Grammy Show and Rhiana on Monday, Tuesday is LL Cool J, Jessica Capshaw and Serena Williams, Wednesday Ellen Pompeo (as in Meredith from Grey's Anatomy) will be talking to Ellen, Thursday will bring Keidi Klum, Shaun White and Anthony Gatto and Friday will, of course, be a Super Bowl Show with The Osbournes and Train. Whew!!! That is a full week. Maybe she is not running out of things to talk about or people to talk too.

Well, I guess we should give up, huh? I mean cloth diapers are nowhere near as exciting to stay at home moms as say Mrs. McDreamy or the Super Bowl right? But, oh wait!!! They ARE!!! Because stay at home moms (the largest demographic for the show) are the ones who would be the most interested in learning about new and cool baby products. They are also the ones looking to trim the family budget. So, really I think it would make for just as interesting of a show as the ones she had this past week. No problem.

Personally, I want to see cloth diapers featured on Ellen's show for a bunch of reasons. First, I think all moms should know how easy they are. Because really everyone thinks they are going to be so difficult and they truly are not difficult at all. They require a tad bit of planning - remember to pack the wet bag! - but aside from that they are just as easy as disposables. And I mean really if the orphanage where Little Sister lived for five months can cloth diaper 15 babies withOUT a washing machine then anyone can do it! Second, they are SOOOO much better for the environment and really we all have an obligation to do our part. And while I realize that even with the information some moms will feel like they cannot do it I think that cloth diapers being featured on a major show like Ellen would really give them credibility. Third, they are healthy for baby's bottom. I would LOVE to see Ellen discuss the chemicals that are in disposables and bring that info to light. I think most people do not think about that. Fourth, normal people, who do normal things use them. I think people tend to think of cloth diapering moms as those crazy hippie types and it would be good for people to see hat regular people use cloth diapers too. And fifth, let's be honest - they are CUTE!!!

Is She A Good Baby?

2010-02-01T21:21:00.001-05:00

We have all heard this question. It is asked by our mothers, our mother-in-laws, our friends, our neighbors and even the strangers at the grocery store. And we all think our baby is the most perfect baby ever. I would guess that none of us ever consider our baby to be a bad baby so we probably do not really consider this question. We just say yes. We tell about all the "good" things our babies do. Or we just smile and say yes. Either way the question continues to be asked and we continue to give the standard answer.

When Big Brother was a baby I would smile with such pride and tell everyone about how "good" he was. He was sweet, quiet, slept well, ate well. I mean really he was the epitome of a "good" baby. So, I never ever thought about this question. I never considered it. I never thought about the implication in it. I had a good baby. Big Sister on the other had was none of the things associated with a "good" baby. She was loud. All. The. Time. She ALWAYS wanted to be held. I simply could not put her down and keep her happy. She took a long time to sleep well. She was a relatively happy baby but she needed to be held to be truly happy.

And so the question started to bother me. I knew what people were asking. And I knew the answer should be "No," but I certainly was not going to say that my child was "bad" or even "not good." So, I always said yes and resented the question. Because see I think she was a good baby. And now the more I think about it I think she was the best out of the three. Not in the way people mean but in reality.

See, Little Sister is a REALLY "good baby" in the eyes of people who ask those questions. She is generally quiet. She is pretty much happy to play on her own. For hours. She sleeps for 12 - 14 hours per night. She wakes up happy. She almost never cries. I say almost because she is starting to learn to ask for us. Sometimes she even goes overboard and will cry out the biggest, loudest, most heart wrenching tears because her hand accidentally comes in contact with a wall. She has no small cry. Only a the world is ending cry. It is heart breaking. It makes me wonder how many times in her life she cried and no one answered.

I think that she does not cry enough. She does not ask to be picked up and loved enough. I have to listen very carefully to her in the mornings. She will wake up and play for an extended period of time without asking to be picked up. And that SOUNDS like a good thing. But when she does eventually call, she is hysterical. She is crying that heart breaking cry that makes you think she is in horrible pain. I go running to find her lying there, looking helpless. I hate it. So, I go get her as soon as I hear that she is awake. I carry her and play with her even when she does not ask. I try to lavish attention on her.

Because of her I am beginning to think that a "good" baby does cry and cry often. A "good" baby asks for what they need. They do not just allow the world to happen. They sleep when they need it but they feel free to wake up and ask for you when they do. They know that you are going to be there for them at all times and so they have every reason to cry out to you for help. They are confident that you can fix all the problems they ever encounter and they expect that of you. A "good" baby takes care of themselves in this way. Because that is all they are really doing when they cry like that. They are communicating their need - and more often than not it is their need for love that they are communicating.

It makes me so sad to think about what it must have taken to have this reflex beaten out of Little Sister. And it makes me wonder about Big Brother. What was it like for him? Was he just easy going? He is sort of easy going - sometimes. And he did ask to be held and cling to us and look to us to make things better a lot more than Little Sister does. But significantly less than Big Sister does. I wonder if that is a difference in their personalities or if it has to do with the way he was cared for his first three months of life. The point is they are all good babies. All babies are good. Because even when they are doing what we consider to be "bad" they are really just taking care of themselves. And isn't that what we want them to do in life? Take care of themselves.

My Review of The Attachment Parenting Book

2010-01-31T21:03:00.001-05:00

So, as promised I read The Attachment Parenting Bookby Dr. William Sears. And before I go any further I want to make a few things clear. First, this is not my first time being exposed to Dr. Sears. I have checked out his website a few times, I get his email newsletter (although, I only read it sometimes), and I own The Vaccine Book. As a matter of fact it was on the advice in The Vaccine Book that I DID vaccinate Big Sister. Pretty much any and all vaccines are recommend for a trip to Africa. I thought the vaccine book was written very well. I thought it presented aa lot of information on both sides (not all the information on vaccines - that would be a much longer book). I liked that about it. It was not judgmental in any way.

So, I went into this book with high hopes. Not just because of that but the overall principles of Attachment Parenting I agree with. So, I anticipated finding the book to be easy and pleasant to read. Of course when I picked up The Attachment Parenting book I realized that it was not the same Dr. Sears that wrote The Vaccine Book. The Vaccine Book was written by Dr. Robert Sears. Who I believe to Be Dr. William Sear's son. So, I still anticipated the same fair attitude and presentation. In truth what I found was the complete opposite. I found a book that was difficult to read from the start. I found it to be kind of text bookish and that in and of itself made it difficult to read for me. I also found Dr. William Sear's attitude to be much more unpleasant from the start.

Unfortunately, this book I found to be very judgmental. At one point he actually says that if Attachment Parenting does not seem to be working for you you should get professional mental help (p. 111). Now it is where he is talking about balance and how even if you doing things like (gasp) put your baby in a crib for the first part of the night in order to give your husband some time you can still be an attachment parenting. And I think he was trying to say that if you just simply cannot find a balance anywhere then you might need help but that is not the way it came off. And really even the way he talks about putting a baby (happily, not crying) in a crib for the beginning of the night is fine IF your husband feels he needs more of your time is sort of condescending. It makes the husband sound needy when really I think that husbands and wives should be finding a way to get that time together. No one should have to ask for it they should just do it. Now, don't get me wrong I'm not saying that parents who co-sleep all night are not taking time for each other I am just saying that I do not think it should be a well if someone feels neglected then fine thing. I think it should be one of your priorities.

On page 23 he suggestes that attachment parenting promotes discipline. That "toys are stored in a such a way that cleaning up is easy and fun to do." Really? So, the fact that my kids do not think that cleaning up is fun makes me not an attachment parent. On page 19 he says "When you know your child well, you understand how things look to your child, and with this knowledge you can shape your child's behavior appropriately." And while that statement sounds great as a this is why you should do this type of parenting thing, it is actually a fairly dangerous statement. See in reading this book you get the feeling that attachment parenting is synonymous with good parenting. And when you read statements like that you think so when my child was misbehaving the other day and I had no idea why or what to do with him it is because I am not really a good parent. And that can get under your skin.

And once I started thinking about that I started thinking about the term "attachment parenting" and I realized how much I dislike the term. So, does that mean that everyone else is unattached from their children? That seems awfully harsh. Maybe I take those terms to have a deeper meaning because I have done quite a bit of reading on attachment. I have prepared myself for all types of attachment issues and difficulties before bringing both Big Brother and Little Sister home. So, to me the terms attached and unattached have deep meaning. Scary meaning. And I do not like the idea that this one way of being a parent is the only way to be attached to your child. Which granted the book does not actually say that but in dubbing his type of parenting attachment parenting Dr. Sears has said just that.

So, while this is not actually a review on attachment parenting so much. And most certainly not on the basic principles of it (those i pretty much agree with). It is a review of the book. And to be perfectly honest if I had read this book in between Big Brother and Big Sister I would have rejected anything and everything that this book says. Because Dr. Sears came off pompous and obnoxious. He seemed to be telling me that everything I did with Big Brother was wrong and that because of that he was (or should be) a bad kid. Hard to manage. Difficult to discipline. A child I did not understand (and okay, I mean the kid likes snakes I don't understand that but otherwise I feel pretty confident with how well I know him). A child I was not "attached" to and a child who was not "attached" to me. These things were simply not true.

Do I wish I had had a decent baby carrier when Big Brother was a baby and that I had practiced babywearing? Sure! He would have LOVED it. Do I wish I had succeded at nursing Little Sister? Absolutely!! Do I regret all the nights I sat in the chair in Big Sister's room trying to get her into her crib? Definitely! Am I glad that I was able to start bonding with Big Sister at birth? Of course! Do I believe that my babies are telling me something when they cry? Most definitely (as a matter of fact I have a lot more to say on that - come back tomorrow). Am I glad I breastfed Big Sister? Yes! I believe very strongly in the principles of attachment parenting. I just did not like the book. And after reading the book I find the name "attachment parenting" to be sort of scary.

And lastly, I would like to point out that the book really does not discuss the differences in a baby and a toddler. The book does not get into when a child's cries go from being I need something to I really want that and you said no. The book does mention that for the first six months there is no difference between want and need but aside from that it does not discuss this pretty major change. And I just want to remind everybody that this whole discussion all started because of an incident at church where Big Sister was throwing an I want that and you said no tantrum. A commenter told me to be more of an attachment parent because I was allowing her the space to throw that fit. but when I looked temper tantrums up on the Dr. Sears website I found that I was doing EXACTLY what he recommended. My only point being that I think the most accurate thing Dr. Sears said about attachment parenting is that it is about feeling free to follow your own instincts and that when we follow what feels right to us and not what some book told us to do we are giving our baby the best of ourselves.

Gomen Wat (Ethiopian Greens)

2010-01-30T20:25:00.005-05:00

So far on this blog, we have passed along a great recipe for Injera, the traditional Ethiopian bread. Injera tastes a little strange and sour and, so, there are 3 amazing recipes that you can cook to dump on top of it. We've also given you the first of the 3 recipes, Doro (Chicken) Wat. The other 2 recipes are Gomen Wat (Ethiopian Greens), and Kik Pea Alecha (Chick Peas/Garbanzo Beans Stew). We're going to tackle the Gomen Wat this week and, coming up in the next few weeks, we've got some Latin American recipes as well as a great Fettucini Alfredo recipe for you. Enjoy!

Gomen Wat (Ethiopian Greens)

Ingredients:

1 lb. Green Kale, chopped fine
1 Medium Onion, finely minced
1/2-1 tsp. Garlic, chopped
1/2 tsp. Ginger, ground
1/2 tsp. Tumeric
1/2 tsp. Salt
1/2 tsp. Black Pepper
1 Jalapeno Pepper, chopped
1/2 cup Water
1/3 cup Vegetable Oil

Steps:
1) Saute onion in oil until clear.
2) Add garlic and spices.
3) Cook 3 minutes.
4) Add chopped kale.
5) Add water.
6) Cover and cook kale until tender (about 30 min.)
7) Add jalapenos and cook for 5 min. on low heat.
8) Add more salt to taste (serves 6).

Thanks so much to betumi.com for providing lots of parts of this recipe!

written by Hubby (@mrmikesings)

You Call That A Kid's Movie?

2010-01-28T23:00:00.000-05:00

Hubby and I are pretty strict about what we let Big Brother watch. And very strict with theSisters - as in they do not watch any. I really mean any tv, movies, youtube vidoes, dvds or anything else. TheSisters do not watch any. Big Brother has been allowed to watch some for aahile now. Somewhere around the time he turned three we started allowing it. Mostly because his love of hockey had started by then and we decided to let him watch some of a few games. For the entire first season he was only allowed to watch some of the games and not even every game. The second season he was permitted to watch all of the games but no more than one game a week until the play offs. At that point we allowed him to watch every game and we still do. The summer before he turned four we took him to his first movie (Wall-E). Since then we have allowed him to watch a few. We took him to see Up and Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs. At home we have watched Cars, Snow White, The Little Mermaid, The Wizard of Oz, Return to Oz, an episode of Sesame Street, a handful of episodes of Arthur and maybe one or two things I am watching.

Now the funny thing is that in listing them like that I think "Wow! He really has watched plenty."Especially when you factor in all the hockey games he has watched. But I would venture to guess thee are a lot of people who could not list every movie and few tv shows their children had watched. You might look at that list and think it is incredibly small. And maybe it is but I like it that way. And Big Brother is a busy, imaginative, fun loving kid who can play for hours. TheSisters do not even know that they do not watc tv nor do they care. Sure, I know there are lots of cute shows out there. Sesame Street is great and Big Sister LOVES Elmo, Dora is cute, Read between the lions, Zaboomafu, etc. But I prefer to see my kids playing than in front of the tv. I am pretty much the anti-screen parent.

However, now that Big Brother is getting older and he does enjoy the occasional movie, tv show etc I have been thinking of things I remeber that he might enjoy. And considering his love of hockey I decided that I thought The Mighty Ducks might be a good movie. Hubby and I were a little nervous about this movie so we decided that we needed to watch it first. Normally Hubby will research a movie and its rating on Kids In Mind but their reviews of old movies is very sparce. So, we figured we could go ahead and watch it and decide for ourselves. And within half an hour we were so frustrated and disgusted that we turned it off.

The kids in the movie were obnoxious, they used terrible language. They adults were rude, the good guy adult (Emilio Estevez as couch Bombay) is drinking and driving, there is some pretty blantant sex talk. And so Hubby and I knew we would not allow Big Brother to watch this movie anytime soon. We might have watched the movie ourselves because truthfully I like it and I am old enough to handle it :) But I was so disgusted with the fact that this was supposed to be a kids movie that I could not take it anymore. I turned it off because I was so disappointed and I felt like Disney had let me down so tremendously. From whe I read the second Mighty Ducks movie may be better so I am planning on renting it and seeing if it is.

But my Aloha Friday question to you this week is at what age do you let your child watch a movie without investigating it or watching it first?

The Evolution of Our Family Bed

2010-01-27T22:21:00.004-05:00

Co-sleeping is one of those things that people tend to feel very strongly about. Whether they think it is great or they think it is terrible people have strong opinions. Dr. Sears includes doing it as one of the basics of attachment parenting (AP). On the other side of things the National SIDS Institute runs campaigns to tell everyone how terrible it is. When a co-sleeping and a nonco-sleeping mom get together they will often both feel the other is completely and totally wrong.

When Big Brother was a baby I was of the "it causes SIDS: camp. I was adamant that he sleep in a completely empty crib with no blankets, no stuffed animals or pillows or anything. I was convinced a friend of mine with a son about two weeks younger than Big Brother was going to kill her baby because she put a tiny little stuffed animal in his crib with him. I was petrified of SIDS and so I was going to do anything and everything anyone said I should to avoid it. I remember talking to the nurse at his doctor's office and asking if it was really safe to give him a pillow and blanket at a year. I mean what magical thing happened on his birthday to make it safe. And she told me that she did not think I should give them to him until he was three or older. That it was better safe than sorry. Ironically, it was this advice that actually made me give him the pillow and blanket. I felt that she was too over the top and I did not want to be crazy like her. :)

When Big Sister was born I pretty much had the same attitude about co-sleeping as I did with Big Brother. Her crib was empty and from day one I tried to put her in it. I worked pretty hard at it for awhile. She needed to sleep in her crib, I mean I could not possibly bring her to my bed could I? That might kill her. And even a sleep deprived mom does not want to kill her baby. Eventually I started to read a little more and think a little more about it and started this middle of the road thing. I would sit in the chair in her room and feed her. She would fall asleep in my arms and I would put her in the crib. She would sleep for anywhere from six to eight hours at this point. Whenever she did wake up she would be brought to our bed with us. She would eat and she would sleep with us for the rest of the night. To save her from SIDS I would hold her all night. Cradling her in my arms or putting her on top of my chest. To this day she wakes up a few times a week and will join us in bed.

Now, Little Sister on the other hand I was all set. I thought I knew so much better than I had with the first two. WIth this one I was totally going to get it right and let her sleep with us. But she had ideas of her own. She was happy to be put down and allowed to go to sleep. We were a distraction to her. We would keep her awake. So, we put her in her crib with a small blanket that she likes to hold and have watched her sleep 12 - 13 hours most nights. There are some nights, like last night, that she does wake up and we bring her to our bed and snuggle her. She takes quite awhile to fall back to skeep but at least she has us holding her. And since my options when she wakes up in the middle of the night are to hold her and let her take longer to fall asleep or leave her in her crib crying for a few minutes I choose to let it take a little longer.

Co-sleeping (or really what some refer to as an open bed policy) has been an evolution for us. I wonder, if we were to have another child, what the next step on the evolution would be. Hubby and I tend to hang out in our room after the kids are all asleep. It seems that would make co-sleeping all night impossible for us. We could not have our children in our room with us while we were talking or watching tv. But then I do not see us fighting to keep the baby in their crib like we did to Big Sister. I do not think I will ever find out what the next step on this evolutionary chart is for us. And in reality I am very happy with where we are now. I like this "open bed policy" or family bed thing that we have going. I love waking up with the baby snuggled next to me all sweet and cozy. But I also enjoy the quiet time with Hubby before bed. This way I get both.

One last thought - in the pictures above both of my girls have things in their beds. Big Sister sleeps with a load of dolls and two blankets. However, Big Sister is 17 months old and therefor out of the risk area for SIDS. Little Sister sleeps with a small blanket that she holds but is much too small for her to lose control of. When she does sleep with us we clear the area that she is sleeping in, as you can see in the first picture. Even if you are co-sleeping you do need to be mindful of SIDS recommendations and be careful to create a safe sleeping environment. Sorry folks, even though I am more lax I am still a little bit of a SIDS nut. :)

It's A Good Thing She Is So Cute

2010-01-26T23:27:00.001-05:00

Lately I have been letting the kids eat breakfast while I go and get dressed. Well, the other morning Big Brother came running up the stairs to tell me Big Sister was on the table and had spilled the Kix on the floor. I came running downstairs (because I was worried she would fall off the table - not that she was spilling Kix) and found this. And like a good mommy I took pictures before I got her down and cleaned the floor. And it really is a good thing she is so cute. Otherwise I might have been frustrated that I had just lost an entire box of Kix to her stunt. :)

For more Wordless Wednesday see 5minutesformom, and for more Wordful Wednesday see Seven Clown Circus.

I'm Going To Lose This Weight!!!

2010-01-25T23:25:00.001-05:00

I have been struggling with my weight since Big Sister was born. I was not one of the women who was able to fit into my prepregnancy jeans when I left the hospital. I have struggled to lose ten pounds since then. And somewhere in failing to lose those ten pounds I gained another nine pounds. This is a problem. This is not what I wanted to happen. And the biggest thing about this is that it means that I am not feeding my family in a healthy way. It means that I am putting my entire family in jeapordy. It means that I am failing my entire family.

See, the way I see it is that it is my job and Hubby's to take care of our family and our family's health. The way I see it being seriously overweight is not healthy and it is something I do not want for my children. I still remember very clearly how different I felt after losing weight. I still remember how before I lost the weight I would get terrible migraines that I have not had once since I lost it. Oh there are so many health issues I was having before I lost weight that I no longer have now that I have lost it. And even though I still have 16 pounds (I have lost three in the last two weeks - it is not much but it is a start) to lose I am not anywhere near I was before.

I have started following the weight watchers plan again. That is how I lost the weight in the first place. I have started walking on my treadmill again. Almost daily. Some days I do not get to it but most days I do. Now the big thing is that I need to pay attention to what I am feeding everyone. Because I need to teach my kids good eating habits. It is a new thing I have to think about.

Big Sister has a much sweeter tooth than Big Brother does. If you put a plate of cookies and a plate of fruit on the table Big Brother will eat the plate of fruit and MAYBE a cookie. Big Sister will eat the plate of cookies and maybe a few pieces of fruit. She just goes for that stuff and so I worry about her being a little chunka munka. The fact that she is a little on the chunky side worried me a year ago and the fact that she still is not only worries me but has forced me to look at what I am doing with the entire family. Now she is 17 months old and truthfully I do not think that she is unhealthy. I think she is a littly chubby just like plenty of other babies who grow into skinny, normal kids. But that does not mean I do not need to watch what I am feeding her. I need to watch because in the last eight days we ate dinner at Friendly's once, went out for pizza once and ate at Johnny Rockets once. That kind of thing needs to stop for her sake and for mine.

This weightloss goal is my tackle for this week. Obviously, it is not something I can do in one week but I have tackled the start and that is a HUGE tackle. For more tackle it Tuesday see 5 Minutes For Mom.

Have I Reached A Verdict?

2010-01-24T21:18:00.000-05:00

On a post that I wrote last week someone said that if you feel like what you are doing with your children is the right thing no one should be able to make you feel guilty about that. And I could not get that out of my head. I kept running it over in my head. I kept wondering if I thought that was true. Can you be doing something, be sure that it is right and still feel guilty or be made to feel guilty about it.

I thought about how there were times with Big Sister when the fact that I was breastfeeding her and pumping for Little Sister got to be very hard. There were times when Big Sister had to work harder than she should have for her milk. There were times when pumping meant that I was not as available to Big Brother as I would have liked too. I could have been spending that half hour with him but I was pumping and so he had to play by himself. With a newborn in the house he really could have used my attention. I felt guilty. But I thought Little Sister would be here much earlier than she was. So, it seemed important. I thought (based on the info I had at the time) that it was necessary but that did not keep me from feeling guilty. And, truthfully, I feel even more guilty now. Considering that it was not necessary. But I remind myself that I made the best decision I could with the information I had at the time.

And then there is Little Sister. She did not want to breastfeed - not at all. And I went into it knowing that that was a possibility. Being okay with that possibility. But there are people who told me that I should not allow for that. That I should not give her a bottle from the time I picked her up. Or to wait until she was used to me and then refuse her the bottle and only offer the breast. I tried offering her the breast. I tried in lots of ways. In the end it did not work. Well, no I gave up. She HATED it and even though I knew she might eventually do it (would eventually do it) I was not comfortable not feeding her. So, she gets breastmilk in a bottle. And I think it was the right choice. However, there are times I feel guilty. Times when I think if I had forced it she would be breastfeeding right now. And then I would not feel guilty that she is not a breastfeeding baby who gets all the benefits of the physical act of breastfeeding. But then there are times when I think if I had forced her would I feel guilty about that? I don't know the answer to that.

And lastly there is our nighttime routine. Little Sister drinks a bottle and goes right to sleep. She gets put down and she grabs her blanket. rolls over, closes her eyes and is asleep in less than a minute. Big Sister, however, does not go to sleep so well. For her I have to sit in a chair with her for 20 minutes or so to get her calmed down enough to go to sleep. She wants me there. And so I give both of them what they want. And that IS the right choice. But that still makes me feel guilty sometimes. Sometimes I feel like Little Sister is not getting the same treatment that Big Sister is. That Little Sister gets the short end of the stick because she is not loud and crying like Big Sister is. I know that the truth is she is happy this way and therefor it is the right thing to do. Because ultimately I am meeting HER needs, not my conception of what she needs. But still the guilt rears its ugly head sometimes.

I recently discussed this guilt with a friend on twitter and it was that conversation that got me thinking of how we can be sure we are doing the right thing and yet still feel guilty. We doubt ourselves. We question. We wonder what would happen if we did it the other way. We try our best. Sometimes, after the fact we know we would have done things differently if we knew then what we know then. For instance, if I had known when Big Sister was born that Little Sister would not come home until Big Sister was 15 months old and not nursing anymore I would have waited to start pumping until Big Sister was done. I had no way of knowing that at the time but if I had somehow I would have made a different choice. I guess my only point is that guilt is not necessarily a reason to change what you are doing. I suppose guilt is a reason to rethink and make sure you still believe you are making the right choice but it is does not necessarily mean you are doing the wrong thing.

Recipe for Doro Wat (Chicken)

2010-01-23T23:06:00.011-05:00

Last week, I passed along a great recipe for Injera, the traditional Ethiopian bread, eaten at many, many Ethiopian meals. Once you've got the Injera made (or if you're looking for a unique and very yummy tasting chicken dish), it's time to make the wat, the stuff that goes on the injera. There are 3 recipes that my family and I ate while we were in Ethiopia: Doro Wat (Chicken), Gomen Wat (Ethiopian Greens), and Kik Pea Alecha (Chick Peas/Garbanzo Beans Stew). They are all placed on the table together so diners can pick and choose how much or how little they want of each. So good! While injera itself takes kind of sour and, well, strange, these recipes bring out the best and truly make it an amazing meal. In upcoming weeks, I hit up the other recipes, as well as some of our favorite Latin American recipes, and, for toppers, a great Fettucini Alfredo recipe. But, right now, here is the recipe for Doro Wat. Enjoy!

Doro (Chicken) Wat

Ingredients:

2 lbs Chicken Pieces
2 Tbs Lemon Juice
1 tsp Salt
4 Tbs Vegetable Oil
2 cups Onion, finely chopped
1 Tbs Minced Garlic
1/2 tsp Ginger (ground)
1/4 tsp Fenugreek, (crushed)
1/2 tsp Cardamom (ground)
1/8 tsp Nutmeg (ground)
2 Tbs Berbere
4 Tbs Paprika
(for a spicier Wat, use 4 Tbs Berbere and 2 Tbs Paprika)
2 Tbs Tomato Paste
1 cup Water (or more, as needed)
2 Tbs Butter

Steps:
1) Traditionally, a whole Chicken is cut into 8 pieces.
2) Sprinkle chicken with Lemon Juice and Salt
3) Let Chicken stand while preparing other ingredients
4) Heat Vegetable Oil
5) To Oil, add Onions, Minced Garlic, and Ginger.
6) Cover and cook on low heat until Onions are just browned
7) Add Fenugreek, Cardamom, and Nutmeg and stir well
8) Add Berbere, Paprika, Tomato Paste, and Water
9) Bring to a boil and cook slowly, stirring often for about 45 minutes (should be the consistency of heavy cream) - add a small amount of water if necessary
10) Add Chicken pieces to the sauce, turning to coat
11) Add Butter
12) Lower heat and cook chicken for about 1 hour, turning often to prevent sticking and to cook evenly
13) Serve with injera and enjoy!

Thanks so much to betumi.com for providing lots of parts of this recipe!

written by Hubby (@mrmikesings)

Berbere Substitute

2010-01-23T23:00:00.000-05:00

Ingredients:

2 tsp. Whole Cumin
1-2 tsp. Red Pepper Flakes
1 tsp. Cardamom Seeds (or 1/3-1/2 tsp. Ground Cardamom)
1 tsp. Fenugreek Seeds
8 Whole Pepercorns
6 All Spice Berries (or 1/4-1/2 tsp. Ground All Spice)
4 Whole Cloves
3-4 New Mexico Dried Chiles
1 Tbs. Paprika
1 Tbs. Salt
1 tsp. Ground Ginger
1 tsp. Tumeric
1/2-1 tsp. Cayenne Pepper
1/2 tsp. Nutmeg

Steps:
1) Toast Whole Spices in skillet until they give off their aroma (2-3 minutes)
2) Toast the Chiles until soft and flexible, being careful not to burn them
3) Remove stems and seeds from Chiles and chop
4) Grind toasted Whole Spices and chopped Chiles into powder
5) Add remaining ingredients and mix well

posted by Hubby (@mrmikesings)

MY Type Of Parenting

2010-01-21T22:10:00.005-05:00

When Big Brother was a baby my favorite parenting expert was a man named John Rosemond. I thought I wanted to be the type of parent he described 100% of the time. I read several of his books. I read every article of his I could find. I even joined the yahoo forum he had at the time. I love his Children's Bill of Rights. I suppose you could have called me a "Rosemond Parent." I followed an awful lot of his philosophy, almost all of it. I suppose I was never a 100% "Rosemond Parent" but I was close. Maybe as close as I can ever get to being 100% anything.

Over the five years that I have been a parent my parenting style has developed. It has changed. It has changed enough that I now consider myself more of an attachment parent - AP - (or a semi-attachment parent). It has changed because I have changed. It has changed because Big Sister is a very different child than Big Brother is. It has changed because my life has changed. Now do not get me wrong I am not sorry about the way I parented Big Brother. I do not regret it. I do not feel I made the wrong decisions. I just choose to make different ones now.

My last post became quite the debate on attachment parenting. I was accused of not understanding it. Of not be willing to read what Dr Sears has to say. And I want to get something clear - I am more than willing to read what Dr. Sears has to say. I am heading to the library tomorrow to take out The Attachment Parenting Book. My plan is to post my review of the book, the philosophy and the way that I feel people take it and post that review next Thursday. But in the mean time I would like to point something out. In just a quick search of the Dr Sears website I found that he actually says that I handled Big Sister's tantrum that day in exactly the right way. He said:

"If you feel that your child is using tantrums as a tool to get his own way, give him verbal cues and use body language that says you don't do tantrums. Be aware that toddlers know how to push their parents' buttons. If you are a volatile person, it'll be easy for your child to trigger an explosion from you, ending in a screaming match with no winners. You send a clear message when you ignore his fits or walk away. This teaches him that tantrums are not acceptable. This is part of toddler discipline. "

True he also says that there are things that I can (and admittedly should) do to prevent that type of behavior. And I am not saying that there are not things I could have done better. I was never (or well, actually Hubby was never since he wrote the original post) saying that we did not make mistakes that day in church. Yes, it would have been better not to bring in that book. Although, we did not think it would end the way it did because there are plenty of times that she is happy to read a book on her own. When I told her no she started to throw a fit and I was more than happy to hold her. But I needed to take her out of church to be considerate to the congregation. However, when she decided to hit me I put her down and waited for her fit to be over. According to the above quote and the full article it would be exactly what Dr Sears would have me do. So, you see even though I appeared to be being non-AP, I was actually being AP.

And at this point in my parenting I am more of an attachment parent than anything else I suppose. Basically because the AP ideals come sort of naturally to me. So, I follow those instincts. I follow them until I find them to no longer be working. When something seems to be out of whack. When a behavior (and truthfully I am speaking MOSTLY about Big Brother as Big Sister is still too little for any kind of major discipline) seems to be completely uncontrollable and out of sink I go back to Rosemond. I follow his disciplinary strategies a lot. Now I know that most people would think the two could not possibly work together but to me they do. To me discipline and guidance (even when it is strict) go along with attachment parenting.

And so on this Aloha Friday my question to you is do you subscribe to any specific type of parenting and why?

Semi-Attachment Parenting

2010-01-20T21:37:00.003-05:00

According to Attachment Parenting International attachment parenting is "forming and nurturing strong connections between parents and their children. Attachment Parenting challenges us as parents to treat our children with kindness, respect and dignity, and to model in our interactions with them the way we'd like them to interact with others." According to Dr. Sears attachment parenting "is a style of caring for your infant that brings out the best in the baby and the best in the parents." And according to google definitions attachment parenting is "a parenting philosophy based on the concept of allowing the child to 'separate' from the parent at its own pace."

What is interesting about all three of those definitions is that none of them say if you let your child cry ever for any reason you are not an attachment parent. Yet, that is how people tend to think of it. And so I tend to think of myself as a semi-attachment parent. Because I will admit I sometimes let theSisters cry. When I do I generally feel it is because I have no choice. For example, when we have somewhere to go (gym or co-op classes in our homeschooling group, play dates or whatever) I have to get dressed, I have to pack the diaper bag, I have to get us ready. I just have to. And most days theSisters would rather I sat on the floor and played with them. So, they cry. And I feel insane and guilt ridden about it but I still have to get ready. And so they cry.

Its okay though. I like my status as a semi-attachment parent. I fall somewhere in the middle. The same is true for my disciplinary style. The other day Hubby shared our trouble at church and how I was called "unmerciful" because I was allowing our child to cry. And someone anonymously left the following comment -

Maybe taking an Attachment Parenting approach to BS would help. Comforting her by holding her may make all the difference. Who doesn't like to be held when upset. The usher did not handle this right but by him saying it was "unmerciful" makes me wonder if he is an AP dad and felt that BS may just have needed to be held. Dr Sears has a great site that you could read up on. Good luck on your search for a church.

I find it sort of funny that to this person the fact that Big Sister was crying automatically means I know nothing on attachment parenting. Personally I am not going to give in to my child just so that they never cry. The same as they sometimes have to cry so I can get dressed and take them or their brother to an activity sometimes they get told no and they do not like that. Big Sister is 16 months old and prone to temper tantrums right now. In the long run her temper tantrums and fits will be shorter lived if I do not give into them. So, I would not read her the book in church. And she needed to throw a fit about that. Picking her up and giving her lots of love and attention for throwing a fit will only encourage her to continue doing it. That particular day (the day at church) we wound up back there with her on the floor crying while I stood and watched very stone faced (being completely "unmerciful" ya know) because while I was walking her to the back she hit me. But I guess if I were a true attachment parent I would have held her because she was crying. I would have told her it was okay and allowed her to continue hitting me. Right? Cause attachment parenting means we never let them cry?

Personally I think that attachment parenting means that we raise them with love and compassion. We treat them with respect. To me attachment parenting is placing each person (did you catch that person not child) in the family in an equal place and making the necessaary compromises to give the individuals what they need. To me attachment parenting has nothing to do with how often they do or do not cry. It is not about babywearing (which we do), co-sleeping (we don't), breastfeeding (one yes, two no), staying home (I do), or any of the acts or practices that are assumed to be attachment parenting. It is about knowing what their needs are and combining them with the needs of the overall family. For us attachment parenting meant feeding Little Sister breastmilk in a bottle because of her reaction to actual breastfeeding. For us attachment parenting means hugging, kissing and holding our children when they need us to . For us attachemnt parenting means while we are the parents and therefor the authority figures we allow our children freedom to express what they need and want.

We show respect for their opinions and we make the best decisions we can taking all of that into account. However, for us showing respect for their opinions does not mean they get wahtever they want. For us sometimes letting them cry (because they have hit me in the face, for instance) is the more compassionate disciplinary tactic. She can stand there and throw her fit. She can get her feelings out of her system and I will be there to hug and comfort her when it is over. Maybe that would not be the advice Dr. Sears would give. Maybe that is not attachment parenting. That's okay. Like I said I am more of a semi-attachment parent and I am comfortable with who I am. And more importantly than that I am comfortable with who my children are and who they are becoming. I have just recently remembered that it does not matter how often they cry or what parenting style other people classify me as following it matters who they turn out to be. So, with that in mind I will continue to forge forward creating my own brand of parenting.

The Best Part of Baking Cookies

2010-01-19T23:15:00.000-05:00

For more Wordless Wednesday see 5minutesformom, and for more Wordful Wednesday see Seven Clown Circus.

Quiet On The Set... Er, Alter

2010-01-18T23:25:00.007-05:00

My family goes to church every Sunday... okay, not every Sunday... and, okay, sometimes we go Saturday night (but that counts, too). The point is, we go to church on a regular basis. My wife and I like it. It makes us feel closer to God, more relaxed, more at peace, and like we are raising our kids to be the people who we want them to be. Church was never a problem when Big Brother was little. He was a quiet baby. Big Sister, on the other hand, is not so quiet. About 3 days after she was born, she started making some serious noise and she hasn't stopped since. It's not necessarily a bad thing - she likes to express herself and she wants to make darn sure that she's heard.

She is loud if she is happy and she is loud if she is sad. She is loud if she is hungry and she is loud if she is mad. She is loud in the day, she is loud in the night. But what we have come to understand is that being loud is alright.

Other people don't necessarily feel the same way about Big Sister's volume - not when she is talking, laughing, or crying. She annoys them. And, you know what, that's okay. She's not their baby. So, to the owner of the Chinese Buffet who wanted to seat us at the table where they normally do their bookkeeping, away from the rest of the patrons, I say, "No one puts (my) Baby in a corner!" The real problem in our lives, though, is church. Big Sister used to get pretty frustrated at church. It's not exactly the most 6-month-old friendly place to be, to tell you the truth. But, we go anyway. We go as a family because we that is the way that we choose to celebrate God. She has been much better about it lately. I guess we finally, "beat the Devil out of her." Still, even when she talks, she is loud and we get looks, stares, and glares from the people sitting around us. And so, we search. We search for a church where we can feel accepted for who our family is. It hasn't been easy. Church each week has turned into, at best, a chore and, at worst, a big ball of stress that winds up causing more fights within my family than peace. We recently opted to go to our old church. We had always liked it there and only stopped when gas prices began rising over $4 per gallon (it's a good 30+ minute drive away). We've been back for a while now and were feeling pretty good. Last weekend, we got there a little late. To our surprise, there were no seats that we could immediately see available. Not wanting to disturb anyone, we just kind of sat with the kids in the back by the window. That wound up to be a little confusing for Big Sister and, well, one thing led to another and she started to cry and throw a fit. In an effort to avoid subjecting the congregation to our little banshee angel, my wife brought her into the entryway. This area is separated from the sanctuary by doors. She promptly put Big Sister down on the floor and walked a few steps away. "When you are done throwing that fit, I will..." That type of thing. Well, the usher didn't like that, apparently. He said that people could still hear Big Sister crying and that the way my wife was treating her was "unmerciful." What should my wife do with the screaming baby? Bring her back into the sanctuary and let her cry? Bring her back into the sanctuary and read her the Elmo book she brought in from the car? Neither of these suggestions seemed like the appropriate thing for us to be doing in the sanctuary at that moment. Now, I don't mind when other people keep their crying babies in church. That doesn't bother me any at all. It just seems way more embarrassing when it's mine. What would the usher have my wife do? "Go sit in the car," he told them.

Needless to say, we are sad, frustrated, stressed, annoyed, and looking for a new church.

written by Hubby (@mrmikesings)

Injera (Traditional Ethiopian Bread) Recipe

2010-01-17T18:18:00.007-05:00

My family and I were recently in Ethiopia bringing home our youngest child. Now that we are home, we have decided that it would be a lot of fun to incorporate some traditional Ethiopian recipes into our everyday American lives. A staple food in Ethiopian meals is Injera. It's a sour, thicker-than-a-crepe but thinner-than-a-pancake bread that the Ethiopian folks eat at almost every meal. Why? It's cheap and you can put lots of yummy tasting sauces, meats, or anything else that you can think of right on top. It's eaten with your hands and used to scoop up, soak up, and clean up your plate and, for as strange and sour tasting as it is on its own, it is fantastic with almost anything on top. Traditional Injera is pretty long and then rolled up. When we make it, the best we can do is to find our biggest skillet and go from there. This week, we tackle Injera. In the next few weeks that follow, we'll tackle a couple of different kinds of Wat (that stuff that I said goes on the Injera). This past Little Christmas (Epiphany), my family went multi-cultural, eating Ethiopian and Guatemalan food (with some Fettucini Alfredo thrown in for good measure). So, after the Injera and the Wat, we can tackle, Tamales, Arrepas, Empenadas and, well, Fettucini Alfredo. Enjoy!

Injera

(read recipe carefully - its takes a few days to make)

Ingredients:

2 cups Teff Flour (we found it in the natural food section of our supermarket)
2 cups All Purpose Flour
1/2 tsp. Salt
5 cups Luke Warm Water

Steps:
DAY ONE
1) Mix Teff Flour, All Purpose Flour, and Salt well.
2) Add Water, stirring constantly until combined.
3) Let stand, covered with a dish towel, undisturbed, at room temperature overnight.

DAY TWO
4) In the morning, stir with a wooden spoon (should already be slightly bubbly at the surface, with the fermenting water rising to the top, and should be beginning to smell sour).
5) Cover again and let stand overnight.

DAY THREE
6) Stir again.
7) Cover and let stand overnight.

DAY FOUR
8) Check your batter. If it is very bubbly and sour smelling, your ready to go. Otherwise, cover and let stand for one 1 more day.
9) Stir the batter until it is combined well.
10) Heat a large, lightly-oiled skillet over medium high heat.
11) Add 1/3 cup of the batter to the skillet.
12) As the batter cooks, I gently rocked the skillet, moving the batter around - when the batter stopped moving, I knew it was cooked through.
13) Using a metal spatula, without cooking the other side of the batter, remove the Injera from the skillet (you can fold it, roll it, or leave it flat - in Ethiopia it was rolled).
14) Repeat until all of the batter is used (adding more oil to the skillet, if necessary)
15) Serve with almost anything - chicken, vegetables, meat or, of course, Wat.

Thanks so much to Ashley Skabar at About.com for providing lots of parts of this recipe!

written by Hubby (@mrmikesings)

What Big Brother Learned Today

2010-01-15T21:03:00.001-05:00

I sure do love that smile!!

Help The Orphans Of BRESMA

2010-01-14T23:06:00.000-05:00

I had intended to write some more about gender inequality and all that jazz tonight. I had intended to talk about how it only gets worse as our children get older. But then I read about the orphans of the BRESMA orphanage. And my heart is broken. And I cannot think of anything else. I no longer care so much about pink tape or hockey careers.

I know the feeling of loving a child who is in a country you never imagined you would ever even be in. I know the feeling of hearing on the news that there is a tragedy and having your heart drop. I know the fear of wondering first if your child is okay and second if this tragedy will keep them from you. I know how hard the months of waiting are. I know the love and the pain. And I know how hard the whole thing is. And I know how miraculous it is when that child is finally placed in your arms.

And so tonight while I am praying for ALL of the people of Haiti. I am especially sad and heartbroken for the families here in America who are waiting to bring home children of the BRESMA orphanage. You can read here and here about the ways in which you can help. And I am begging you to please, please, please tweet, link, link on facebook, email or whatever you can think of with either of those links or this post to everyone you know. Because everytime you do we get those links closer and closer to the people who can actually do what these kids and families need. And so my Aloha Friday question today is what else can we do?

The Pink Tape

2010-01-13T22:13:00.003-05:00

I have tried very hard for all of Big Brother's life not to stick him in the traditional "boy" box. For his first Christmas he got a doll. A doll he has loved from the day he got it. A doll he has gone through everything with, the doll potty trained with him, she had surgery when he did, etc. He takes care of her, he sleeps with her sometimes, he bathes her and even wears her sometimes. He loves to pretend to cook and so for Christmas when he was two years old Santa brought him a play kitchen. It was not a pink one but it was a kitchen. It came from the "girl aisle" at Toys R Us. Now at the same time he plays hockey (maybe not main stream sport but still a sport which are more traditionally boy things). He likes Thomas the Tank Engine, Cars (the Disney movie and the little toys), Transformers and other typical "boy"things. He is what I would call well rounded.

And I have always been very comfortable with this fact. I have never cared that people look at us when we go out for a walk and he is pushing his doll in the stroller - or more recently wearing her. Last week playgroup was at a little girls house and she had all kinds of high heels and crowns and other such dress up clothes and Big Brother spent the entire time wearing them. He was happy and having fun and that was great. All in all I was feeling confident in my ability to raise him without the gender bias. Without the typical I cannot do this or that because I am a boy.

All until today. Today Big Brother is at the store with Hubby buying a new hockey stick and some new shoulder pads (because he has outgrown his old ones). And then it happened Big Brother told Hubby he wants pink tape for his stick. Hubby is so unsure of what to do that he calls me. I was so dumbstruck. I did not know what to do. All I could think was that people can be so mean (it is usually said that kids can be so mean - but so can adults). And I don't want Big Brother to be picked on. I want him to fit in. I want him to make friends. But I do not want him to think that there is anything wrong with liking pink. And being who he is - since he does like pink.

So, in the end Hubby told him that we wanted him to know that a lot of people think of pink as a girl color and that the only people he has seen use pink tape on their sticks are girls. And so some of the kids on his team might ask why he has pink tape and he should just tell them that he likes it. Because of this he decided not to get the pink. He is generally uncomfortable with that type of thing. Uncomfortable having to answer questions of any kind. And so he did not get the pink - he choose a different color. But this has me wondering - did we do the right thing? Should we have bought him the pink tape and not said anything? Would that have been fair? When I know that he would be upset when he had to defend himself. But then again maybe he would have just said "I like it" and that would have been it. But then maybe he would be treated differently. Oh I just do not know. And how much of his spirit have I squashed?