Over the course of the last few years, the term "Cougar" has become widely used to define a mature, usually 40-something woman, that seeks casual encounters with much younger men.

I've read and seen stories about groups of these women that go for nights out, stalking younger men in restaurants and clubs and having their way with them. And of course there's now the hit TV show "The Cougar" in which a very attractive mature woman has her pick of much younger men for a boyfriend.

Interestingly enough, I really hadn't encountered or realized that there was such a thing until I entered married dating 3 years ago. That seems to have been my pivotal point for many things.

During the time that I was on the dating websites I was 47, and quickly had a 28 year old that was hot on my heels…I was chagrined to say the least, and couldn't figure what in the hell he wanted with me!

I pointed out that I was married, yep, so was he, I pointed out my age (in case he hadn't noticed…)…he didn't care about that, and in fact said that he preferred "mature women"…"I have two kids", I say, "not much younger than you"…."so"? He says….I can't shake him. The only plus in this that I see is that he lives all the way across the country, I know that I'll never see or meet him!

We exchange pics, and he is young….28, an attractive professional making headway in his career. He's been married for 6 years, no children, and has found that his marriage has become tedious…he wants a distraction.

I find that he's there in chat waiting for me each time I show up….he's not going anywhere. So one night while we are in chat I start a dialog with him more out of curiosity than anything else. I wanted to know the "why" behind his interest.

I found the conversation very enlightening, as did he, he didn't even realize fully the reasons behind his attraction to older women until he had to think about them!

I've had many subsequent conversations with him and others that have the same preference over the last few years, I don't know why I didn't see it before, but suddenly they seem to be everywhere….or maybe it's just become more acceptable and therefore more prevalent. They don't have to hide anymore.

I have a few friends out here as well that are dating younger men and it's not quite as superficial as the TV shows and articles would have you believe; these are very real, loving relationships that work for them.

The following lists a few of the reasons I've been given that a more mature woman is now the choice of so many younger men;

• We are more stable; both emotionally and financially
• No drama
• We say what we mean
• We are past having "hang-ups" about our looks and our bodies, and have embraced what we do have
• We are experienced and offer that both in and out of the bedroom
• We are willing to explore more and are less inhibited
• The pregnancy issue is a moot point in most cases
• We are not perfect, nor are we looking for perfect
• We don't expect them to take care of us
• We don't ask for more than they can give
• We have a car, a home, a career, a life
• Our libido is usually stronger than it's ever been, we rarely say "no"
• They don't have to compete with men in their own age range….

Out of curiosity I googled "Cougar Dating" while writing this, and wasn't surprised to find listings for many websites now catering to that niche.

So if you've thought about or considered taking on a "Cougar" or if you're a mature woman and have thought about being one, hopefully I've added a few more reasons to explore that possibility!


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OMG! I have just been introduced to the coolest "cheating tool" ever!

If you are using your computer for your sneaky little "hook-ups" on the side, you have absolutely got to, got to, GOT TO get this!

One word – Lockfox!

Sounds sly doesn't it? That because it is. Sly like a fox. Lockfox is a self-contained "no-tracks-left-behind" browser and it is one tool that no cheater should be without.

Ever been on your computer and started to type an address in your browser and been presented with a list of sites to choose from before you finish typing the address? Your computer is offering you choices based on "memories" of sites previously visited.

You were looking for "Amazon.com" but as soon as you entered the "A" a list of sites popped up below the address bar which included AdultFriendFinders.com.

Hmmm… YOU have never been to Adult Friend Finders the adult dating site where you can "Meet Real Sex Partners Tonight!"…but, someone in your home has and they are SO BUSTED!

Lockfox will prevent that "someone" from being you!

Your computer "remembers" every site that you have ever visited, every email ever read, every chat, every photo…it's kind of scary really. You leave a trail of "e-footprints" to your clandestine activities everytime you log on.

"Accidental discovery" is the most common way for affairs to be discovered. Even though you think that you are being careful by deleting your history, it's not really gone. When you delete something from your computer, it is not gone until that space is eventually filled up again by something else and that does not happen immediately!

Sure, there are softwares out there to help you cover your tracks but, on the flip side, there is also "real time" computer monitoring software that allows your suspicious spouse to monitor your activities in real time from any computer anywhere in the world.

Take WebWatcher for example. It s completely invisible and undetectable once installed on the suspect computer. It can't be accessed by anyone except except the person who installed it and the unsuspecting user will never know it's there.

Can you see the danger? Do you really want to risk getting caught?

Okay…now that you know why you need Lockfox let me tell you how Lockfox will let you breath easy knowing you dirty little secrets are safe. I've been using it myself for a couple of weeks now and I have to tell you…it is awesome!

The Lockfox motto? "Web Without Worries"…and you can believe it!

Lockfox is a browser, just like the browser you are currently using on your computer whether it be Internet Explorer, Firefox, Chrome or whatever. The difference is this:

Your current browser is installed directly on your computer and records and stores all of your activities onto your computer hard drive. Since everyone using your computer is accessing this same browser, everyone also has the opportunity to access your browsing history. Yikes!

A Lockfox browser is completely portable. As a single-file application, Lockfox can be moved wherever you need it. Copy it to a portable USB thumbdrive for use on any Windows PC you use, whether it be at home, work, while traveling, at a client site or internet cafe. Lockfox offers you the same stealth protection no matter what PC or internet access you might encounter, public or private.

Since Lockfox operates in it's own protected environment, once you close Lockfox, all traces of your web browsing session is removed along with it. It's as if you were never there.

Along with private browsing mode and history erasing, this anonymous, military grade 2048-bit encryption tunnel is the primary power behind Lockfox. What this means to you is that Lockfox is encrypting your browser traffic AT THE BROWSER, and routing it through an anonymous network. Anyone attempting to monitor your activity on the network would see only gibberish.

It prevents ANYONE on your local network from knowing where you are surfing. Say you're at work, and you want to check your fantasy football scores, or chat with that sexy someone on "AshleyMadison.com" – and you don't want the office IT staff to know you're there – plug in your USB thumbdrive, fire up your Lockfox browser and no one will have a clue!

It also allows you access to websites that might otherwise be blocked by local restrictions. Who knows? Maybe you're in China and you want to access Facebook – you can do that with Lockfox!

Lockfox completely anonymizes your identity. It blocks monitoring and censoring, and prevents interception of your sensitive data or surfing history. No one but you has access to your data, and no one but you knows where you're surfing.

Pretty cool!

The invisible power of Lockfox may be hard to comprehend. Since there aren't any real "visual" queues that this stealth encryption process is really happening, it is hard to "know" that it is actually taking place. "Seeing is believing" in most situations but when you are cheating – "seeing" is the last thing you want!

So, to set your mind at ease here is a little test you can run yourself so that you can "see" that Lockfox is working for you. Using your usual browser, go to What Is My IP Address? This site will show you what your publicly visible IP address is, where you're coming from amd lots of other little goodies about you. Wow!

Now, activate your Lockfox browser and visit the site again. You should see a whole new IP, and very little about anything at all related to you. That's Lockfox at work!

Need further proof? Just check your computer's history after closing your Lockfox browser. Nothing. Not one trace of the last hour that you spent arranging your next secret rendezvous with your lover.

Lockfox is super cheap to own, super simple to use. There is no installation, no configuration, no confusing set-up – it works perfectly straight out of the box. The goal, is to bring internet identity protection, privacy, and freedom – to the common user – features that are usually limited to only very tech-savvy individuals.

Soooo…if you are cheating…this is a "no-brainer"!

You absolutely need Lockfox – "Sex Web Without Worries"…

If I was going to give Lockfox a star rating, I'd give is 10 stars…

…and mega thumbs-up!

Be safe! GO GET IT NOW!


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We should never underestimate the power of visual aids when it comes to the sexual part of our lives. One of my cousins posted on Facebook that she wished that men weren't so focused on the visual, that there was so much more to us. While that's true, the bottom line is that the visual is the seed that is the beginning of anything exciting and new.

Anyone who's pursued someone online whether male or female asks with little compunction for a pic within a short period of time. While it's only a 2-D visual, it gives an idea and sometimes even a feel for what the other person is like. We all send our best pic because we know that it can mean the difference between having the opportunity to meet our person of interest or not.

I had a conversation with a male friend of mine that stated something that holds a lot of truth; While women are squirming at the first blush of intimacy and wondering if he thinks our thighs are too big, the man is usually ecstatic simply to have a completely naked woman that he's attracted to in front of him…he's not focused on her flaws, but on the visual cues that led him to where he is with her in that moment…

Small details sometimes make the difference; for men, a toe ring, a button that's open rather than closed, manicured nails, or a ponytail, can mean great visual appeal. I know one time my boyfriend showed up in a muscle shirt; he's usually in his work clothes when we meet, so I don't often get to see him in casual attire. Seeing something as common as his well muscled arms was quite frankly a huge turn on for me! It's not so much about looks as it is about the whole look, the way you project yourself, (self confidence is extremely sexy in either gender!) carry yourself, and the image you project to that other person.

It's also something that with a little imagination you can have fun with. CFM (come fuck me) shoes for instance have been around since some silly man (no doubt) came up with the idea that we would look sexy in stilts and figured out a way to strap them to our feet, teach us to walk in them, and then make them pretty so that we would actually want them. While I've had a few pairs in the past, the truth is that I haven't put a pair on my feet in years; having settled into my marriage, and having kids and a career and having a million things to do each day meant that at night I had no desire to torture myself in that way!

With the advent of my affair however, things took on a different view; I wanted once again to look and feel sexy….besides, I figured all I had to do was strut across the room in them once, right? Hahaha! So I tested the waters a little and mentioned something about them to the boyfriend…I had his immediate attention, in a BIG way! So during subsequent discussions, it was determined that I should have a pair….or two….or more, lol. So I bought a black pair….and then I got bold; forget the black, I'm a red kind of girl! I love red heels and it had been at least 10 years or more since I owned a pair. So I bought them….and then on our next date when we had some time and privacy I threw on a short skirt, a red thong and bra, and a button down shirt…most of the way unbuttoned…

I will tell you now that this whole thing was rather daunting for me; I am almost 50, and while I'm attractive enough, I know that I'm certainly not perfect or 20-something anymore. But neither is he. It was more about being titillating, having fun, and feeling sexy than anything else!

We don't have to be perfect, but sometimes making small efforts and paying attention to details can have some very rewarding results. Playing dress up as an adult is more fun than it ever was before…

And in the end I was right about those shoes….I don't think that I walked more than 10 feet in them…

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Butterscotch Meringue Pie

jeal·ous·y

1. a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.
2. an object of envious feeling: Her intelligence made her the envy of her classmates.
3.Obsolete. ill will.

Jealousy and envy; the twins of discontent in almost any relationship at some point or another. It's something we experience growing up, when the seeds of doubt and desire are planted within us, be it through friendships or with siblings, they begin to take hold as human nature drives us to make choices about ourselves. It happens without thought initially; over a possession, or a person; we are told that it's bad, and that it's not acceptable…but it still lives within us.

Those of us that have cheated, are cheating or have been cheated on at some point in time have had to deal with these thoughts and emotions, as has anyone that's experienced a poly-anything type of relationship. They are usually passionately driven by a sense of possessiveness towards the person inspiring those feelings. (I am talking about relationships here by the way, not one night stands or random encounters…)

So then we have to ask the question: How is it that we are going to manage these feelings of anger, doubt, frustration, and insecurity that go hand in hand with jealousy and envy?

The only answer is that many of us, but by no means all of us, have the ability to compartmentalize, and have learned to tap into that ability to manage these relationships and feelings. It's not easy, and is a learned skill, and is not something everyone can do. It takes time, patience, understanding, and a clear mind. Having a partner that's helpful is critical as well.

Monogamous people find non-monogamy to be confusing, complicated, and even threatening. They feel that it is morally wrong to draw comfort and support from anyone other than their spouse. If all of their needs are not being met by their spouse, the only option is to divorce and go looking for the "perfect partner" that can fulfill all of their needs. Sadly, that is an daunting task to assign to anyone and surely one that most people will fail no matter how good their intentions!

On the other hand, non-monogamous people feel that it is unreasonable to expect one person to be able fulfill all of their needs – social, emotional and sexual throughout the entire course of their life. Things change. People change.

Their alternate perspective instead suggests that we should continue to value our spouses and the pleasures that they bring to our lives while finding others to fill the voids that they can not. The man-made restrictions placed on us by traditional marriage limit and deprive us unnecessarily, of many of life's pleasures.

While non-monogamy may seem to be normal human behavior, you can rest assured that so are jealousy and possessiveness. No relationship is free from the normal conflict and insecurity that we all experience.

So having the ability to accept that someone can love more than one person, albeit in different ways, and that different relationships can provide for different needs for one person is the first stepping stone to overcoming those unwieldy feelings that we all experience.

Being able to logically (rather than emotionally) assess our relationships can give us a sense of security that otherwise may not exist. Having a partner that reaffirms their desire and need for what we provide is also essential to developing a secondary relationship in a healthy manner.

While there is no tried and true formula for having the ability to put aside jealousy and/or envy, knowing that you aren't the only one that struggles with these issues, and that they can be managed can go a long way towards growing and having healthier relationships, regardless of their nature.

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Ménage A Trois – Cheating Light

Interview With An Asexual – "Why not just sleep with someone else?"

In his new book – Cheaters Prosper, he claims to be an infidelity expert…

If you want to preview his book, you can read the Chapter 1 free.

About The Author:
After discovering that 30% of the men and women on single's dating sites were actually attached and lying about their status, Noel Biderman started AshleyMadison.com – a dating service for married people looking to have affairs. 7 years and 5 million members later, AshleyMadison.com is the fastest growing dating service on the internet.

Noel has worked with sociologists, journalists and educational institutions to further understand the motivational factors for why men and women cheat making him the foremost expert on this topic.

Seems that much like the clients on his site, "honesty" is not in his nature either. Noel Biderman did NOT create the Ashley Madison Agency, Darren Morgenstern did. Avid Life simply bought the married dating site from Darren Morgenstern, back in 2007 and Noel Biderman took it to new and tasteless heights with his outrageous advertising tactics. Mr. Biderman isn't ashamed to be the "face" of Ashley Madison either – he has made use of every medium available to promote himself and his site.

So, what has Darren Morgenstern done with himself since cashing in on his "brain-child?" If you watched the video above, you will see brief clips of Mr. Morgenstern from days gone by – he is the one WITH the hair. I find it odd that all of the interviews such as the one he did on the "The Gill Deacon Show" when he was the owner of Ashley Madison.com have disappeared.

I spent some time today – "just out of curiosity" actually trying to find out what neat and new and wonderful project he may have done following his notoriety as the "King of Infidelity". Shit, I couldn't even come up with a photo of the man – the video above was it! Someone has spent much effort erasing his presence from the Internet which as anyone knows – is no easy feat!

But…I did find this…

$2M from nothing

Hmmm…it seems that he was always a bit of a shyster!

There is nothing wrong with the article itself, and the one hour question and answer period with the current operator, Noel Biderman is quite interesting.

What bugs me is Noel Biderman himself. He may be the "man behind Ashley Madison" now, but he certainly isn't the brains behind it! I really can't stand it when people take credit for a good idea like it was their own!

Ashley Madison – a good idea? Sure it is.

Facts are facts.

Yes, people cheat on their spouses – frequently.

Yes, people who use the Ashley Madison married dating site are immoral, unethical scumbags – if that's your opinion, so be it!

Yes, The Ashley Madison Agency does shamelessly promote infidelity. Their advertisements show blatant disregard for what little value remains in a traditional marriage today.

Yes, Noel Biderman and company are making a tons of money from dissatisfied spouses. That's American entrepreneurialism at it's finest – find a "need" and fill it.

But…let's give credit where credit is due shall we? Noel Biderman did not create the Ashley Madison online dating agency. Although he claims to be the creator…

Q to Noel Biderman:
Who is Ashley Madison?

A from Biderman:
I was confident that this service would attract men. I was less sure that women were going to behave in that fashion. From day one, I wanted to design a service that had a look and feel that made women feel comfortable. In 2000, the most popular girls' names were Ashley and Madison. I thought if women were naming their children that, they'd have some affinity for that branding. It's a fictitious individual. I suppose I could have called the site "Cheat on Your Partner." That didn't feel right to me.

…that dubious distinction really belongs to another clever entreprenuer – Darren Morgenstern of Toronto, Canada, where the company is based.

So why does Mr. Biderman claim Ashley Madison as though it were his own brain-child? Who knows. Perhaps Darren Morgenstern wished to distance himself from the growing controversy surrounding the site when he sold it to Avid Life Media back in 2007. Maybe, as part of the deal, Noel Biderman, the President and Chief Operating Officer for Avid Life was to assume all responsibility for the existance of such a scandalous business relieving Mr. Morgenstern from any liability.

Scandal seems to be something that Noel Biderman is impervious to. Since his acquisition, Ashley Madison has gone from being a little known, discreet, married dating service for cheaters to a notorious, much hated purveyor of infidelity.

Whatever the reason, Noel Biderman is proud to claim it as his own and much like his predecessor, he is claims that he doesn't cheat on his wife…yet.

Q to Noel:
Do you cheat?

A from Noel:
I do not cheat, no. I've been faithful to date. I don't know what I would do if I was in a sexless relationship. I'm in a very good marriage, but if I wasn't? I don't know what I would do.

Q to Noel:
How come you are monogamous when you're saying the infidelity is on the rise? what makes you different that other people who are not monogamous?

A from Noel:
I never said I was genetically different…what I am is very communicative with my partner (as well as only being 7 years in to my marriage)…both of those factors play a role in infidelity.

Mrs. Biderman should feel very reassured!


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