So, for those of you who might not know, my “normal” day job is managing Fat City Records. It was founded back in 1993 (when I was 7 years old haha) and it’s basically been at the forefront of music that I love such as hip-hop, funk, soul, jazz and all things in between.

After 16 years in Manchester, the physical store was faced with closure so my boss, Jazzman Records owner Gerald Short, decided to take it over since he felt that the shop had such an important heritage on the UK music scene.

Photo by Dan Jose

I started working here in September 2010 thanks my friend Dylan and our common friend Skeg from Breakin Bread.  As you might know, I had a digital and record label background, not retail. But I quickly came to the view that the online shop needed updating in terms of design and functionality.

So I started an almost two-year long journey that has had many stop and go’s, but now that the day is almost here, it fills me with so much pride and happiness to finally see it coming together.

You see, I started planning the new site with my friend Greg as soon as I got the FCR job, and even though the project didn’t officially start until the summer of 2011, me and him came up with some great ideas that have somwehat been the foundation to the new website.

Now, almost a year later, I can proudly say that we have done literally everything within our means and power to create the best possible experience for our customers.

This is by far the biggest project I have ever managed and worked on, and even though it is (hopefully) just the beginning of bigger and greater things for FCR, for me personally this launch is probably one of the highlights of my professional career to date.

So it is with great pleasure I can officially talk about it all and ask you to check it out when it goes live on Friday the 1st June 2012. To celebrate the great occasion we are also throwing a launch party at Floripa by Old Street in London.

Guest DJs includes Jazzman Gerald, Chris Read (Music of Substance), Hint (Tru Thoughts), DJ TomE (Laid Back), and myself.

Come down if you can or stream it live via the FCR Mixlr page.

I have written a longer post about the FCR Launch and Party on the Laid Back blog that you should check out for more info.

I ain’t never scared
I’m everywhere
You ain’t never there
Nigga why would I ever care
Pound for pound I’m the best to ever come around here
Excluding nobody
Look what I embody

It’s been a while since I posted a proper blog post. You will have to excuse my absence, but between work, uni and running, there is very little time to take a moment and let it all hang out.

However, having said that, I do feel like I am approaching some sort of cross roads in my life, and since I’m not able to focus on anything I really have to do this evening (like my university assignment due on Monday!), I figured I might as well share some of my thoughts.

I have a feeling it might end up being one of those posts that I will read in a years time and laugh. But you know how I am, no matter how trivial or corny or silly things might be, I can only really put myself past them if I write them down and share them.

So here goes…

In a few weeks time the biggest project I have ever worked on in my entire life and professional career will come to an end. Some might say it’s the beginning to something new and exciting, and they might be right, who knows?

Regardless though, those who know me know that I have put my heart and soul into this project, I have given it my all and a little bit more and no matter what happens, I will still be extremely proud and happy of what I have achieved.

But having that said, I am getting increasingly unsettled and nervous. Not about work, but about my life in general. Myself, my goals, my dreams. I always thought I had it figured out, but Im starting to think that I never really had a clue to begin with.

Ok, that’s a lie. Some things will probably never ever change. Like my love and passion for music. Without it I wouldn’t be me!

But what about other things that are less important? Maybe?

See, that’s the thing. I have no idea. And it is the scariest and most wonderful feeling ever.

I have always been the kind of person who has tried to plan everything. A person who has always wanted to be in control of every aspect of her life (even if it’s impossible!).

But what if the time has to let it all go and see where life takes me? It would be a massive challenge because I’ve never done it before but maybe it’s something I need to try?

You see, I am getting increasingly concious about the fact that I haven’t been the most adventurous of people, and no matter how stupid it sounds (I am aware of how stupid all of this sounds really!), Im scared that I am getting older too fast and that I might miss out on things.

Which is idiotic really, I know it is and Im almost ashamed of admitting that I think like that, but I can’t help it!

For me, giving up the control and all the planning would not come easy, but Im slightly worried that I do all that planning and controlling because I am afraid of actually living.

Not that I know what that means, I mean, how do you define living? Is it just the simple act of breathing, eating, sleeping?

Of course not.
But if it’s not then what is it?

I don’t have any answers, and Im not even sure if I am asking the right questions.

What I do know is that I don’t want to wake up in 25 years time and wonder where my life went and why I never “lived”.

It might not happen. And it’s not like my life is bad now in any shape or form, quite the opposite!

I can’t remember the last time I was this healthy, fit, and most importantly, happy.

I might be over-thinking things… We all know I have a tendency to do that. I have no answers, just sharing some tangled up thoughts from my head.

Maybe all this constant work and no real rest is making me loopy haha. I guess the only thing I do know for sure is that so far 2012 has been one of the most amazing years of my life and it’s not showing any signs of slowing down. I am so thankful for all the incredible things that have happened so far!

Who knows, maybe this is my adventure?

Because I do find my life exciting at the moment. In a really scary, twisted, stressful but fantastic way.

It’s like tiny fireworks are going off in my heart and stomach every now and again. And sometimes it’s great, and other times it’s overwhelming or downright horrible.

5th of June can’t come soon enough!

Little Miss Sunshiine #34 by Laid Back on Mixcloud

These three videos below from last nights Run Dem Crew session featuring Shameek, Nathaniel and Candice basically sum up it all up.

If you do one thing today, please spare 15 minutes of your time to watch them and spread the word.

Why? Because they truly capture a unique and beautiful sense of love, friendship, support, community and family.

Thinking about mile 21 still makes the hair on my neck raise itself.

I will cherish and nurture the experience from mile 21 for the rest of my life and I will return to that special place on my darkest of days.

A big thank you to the RDC founder Charlie Dark for his continues inspiration.

You and this amazing movement/crew you have created helps many of us to get up every day and try to be the very best that we can be.

And on the days we feel like we don’t have the strength to carry on, I know that at least I will look at these three videos below and travel back in time to mile 21 where dreams really come true and nothing is impossible.

AWAY AWAY AWAY!

SHAMEEK:

NATHANIEL:

CANDICE:

Yesterday was the London Marathon and I went out with my running family Run Dem Crew to support the brave souls in our crew who were running it.

Taking over an entire area on Commercial Road just leading up to the mile 21 marker, the supporting squad was on fire yesterday and the whole experience was overwhelming to say the least.

I have to admit that even though I couldn’t wait to see & cheer on every single person from my crew, I was mostly excited about cheering on my fellow runner, friend and officially new hero – Candice.

Picture by Christiana

And just so we are clear, my list of heroes is very small, up until now it literally only consisted of 3 people: my mum, my grandma and Bangs.

We had heard that her knee had given up and that she might be in an ambulance, but that she was determined to struggle on. Natalie had waited for her at her water station and was going to help her reach mile 21 from mile 16.

Now this might not sound like a big deal to you, but let me tell you, I ran 13.1 miles and even though I wasn’t feeling like I was on my death bed when I crossed the finish line – I would NOT have been able to run any further.

So to think that  13.1 miles would only have covered HALF THE DISTANCE is insane and that is why I salute every single person who completed the marathon yesterday.

However, for Candice it wasn’t just about the distance or being tired, it was literally the incredible amount of pain she must have been in.

Let’s be honest, most of us would have given up in that situation, come up with some excuse and told ourselves that there will be a next time - but she didn’t, Candice soldiered on and that in itself is a victory that no words can give enough justice to.

She overcame every single barrier yesterday – physical, mental, emotional and she DID DA GODDAMN THING!

And that is why she is an inspiration. That is why I feel blessed to have met her. That is why I look up to her and think she is an incredible young woman who can move a mountain with sheer determination and will power.

That is why I consider her as one my personal heroes.

She didn’t stop and she didn’t give up. She has showed me that literally ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE with hard work, determination and a good support team.

Picture by Jamie

And the love each and every one of us felt for her when we finally spotted her reaching our zone is quite simply beyond anything I can describe in words.

If you want to know what Run Dem Crew is all about you should have been there yesterday, because in that moment when Candice showed up, both she & the crew showed exactly what it’s all about in my opinion.

I feel so thankful to have been there and I feel so blessed to be part of it all.

So much love to Candice and all the others who DID DA TING yesterday! Rock that medal with pride, it was an honour cheering you on!

And a big thank you to Charlie Dark – this would not be possible if it wasn’t for you.

It’s Friday so let’s celebrate with another photo bomb that you can feast your pretty eyes on!

This time it’s pictures that were taken with my disposable cameras during my Berlin trip with Run Dem Crew.

Click on the thumbnails to see full images sizes and if you want more then make sure you have a look at the full set of pictures over on the Orsii Facebook Page.