I love my fiance but GOD, he's such a fucking GUY. It seems like all the wedding planning stuff ALWAYS FALLS TO ME. He says things like "Oh but honey, you're so good at it." Why won't he help me!? -Jen

Jen, this is a perennial question, and it seems to be almost as much of an issue with offbeat grooms as for more, well, stereotypical ones.

I wish I could completely skip over the gender issue on this one, but I have to at least acknowledge it. I don't know what there is to say about the fact that some men don't enjoy planning weddings. Is it an embodiment culture-driven gender influences? Probably. Could your guy be lazy? Maybe. Is making gender generalizations about it self-reinforcing these very gender influences you're decrying? Most likely. Are there lesbian couples who deal with this same interest-in-wedding-planning imbalance who don't reduce it to a gender issue? Yes.

We could debate why it happens and what it means and who's to blame for a long time. But really, that's not accomplishing much — what can you actually DO about it? What can you actually LEARN from it?

Let's get big picture about the issue. What it comes down to is that the two of you are hitting against an imbalance in your relationship. I'm not going to conjecture what that imbalance actually IS for you. It could be an imbalance of communication skills. (You're so good at making those vendor calls! They always clam up.) It could be an imbalance of time management skills. (You take care of your to do items right away. They always leave stuff 'til the last minute, meaning you have to do what every wife supposedly is doomed to: NAG.) It could be an imbalance of interest (You really want your vows to be artfully written. They just want to say "I do" and kiss.)

While the devil's in the details, ultimately they don't really matter. The fact that it's a wedding you're planning is almost irrelevant. The reality is that, from five years down the marriage road, I can tell you this:

YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE PARTNERSHIP IMBALANCES.

The reality is that couples in long-term commitments will deal with constant bumps and land-mines as they navigate living a life together.

If you're hitting one for the first time while wedding planning, then I'm seriously impressed. The reality is that couples in long-term commitments will deal with constant bumps and land-mines as they navigate living a life together. You'll have imbalances of communication, time management, and interest. You'll have imbalances of skill, proclivity, and inclination.

One of you is going to REALLY care about the garden and one of you is going to care less and be embroiled in a video game. One of you is going to be obsessed with the stain on the carpet and one of you is going to shrug and go back to knitting. On a Saturday night, one of you is going to want to go out and see a play and the other one is going to want to inhale a novel and work on their bike.

Your skills and concerns are not always going to match. Sometimes it'll be over the little stuff like gardens and video games. Sometimes it'll be over big stuff like when to put the dog to sleep or move across the country. Sometimes the little stuff will suddenly become the big stuff, and while you thought you were just imbalanced over who cleaned the kitchen, but you actually were imbalanced over whether you still wanted to be together at all.

But one thing is for certain: imbalances are guaranteed. What's key is that the imbalances actually balance out. I'm better at logisticating, so I take care of that stuff in my and Dre's life. Andreas is better at being emotionally grounded, so he takes care of keeping our home feeling sane. We have different skills, but we have roughly the same number of contributions to make to the relationship over-all, even if we're imbalanced on the specifics.

The key to dealing with these imbalances is appreciation. I'll be the first to admit that sometimes thinking about my strengths makes me want to think about my partner's weaknesses. I'm so good at logisticating — GAH, IN PART BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE BECAUSE HE SUCKS AT IT OH MY GOD REMEMBER THE TIME HE FORGOT HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE ON THE WAY TO THE AIRPORT!?!

Deep breath.

One thing is for certain: imbalances are guaranteed. What's key is that the imbalances actually balance out.

OK, so there are some skills that I've developed more than he has. Rather than think about the ways he sucks, I'm going to model my own strengths, and appreciate his.

I'm going to marvel the next time I watch him change someone's day through one of his yoga classes, and take the time to appreciate how amazing it is that when he comes home from teaching his ass-crack-of-dawn class, he always offers to make me breakfast.

I'm going to say this ridiculous thing to him that we've been saying to each other for over a decade now:
I appreciate you.

Yes, we actually say it like that. It's the most literal, straight-forward relationship statement ever.

I appreciate you.

Every time I get frustrated with an imbalance — something that I'm way better than him at — I try to take the time to appreciate the spaces where I occupy the other end of the imbalance. Like feeding myself. If it weren't for Andreas, half my meals would involve scraping microwaved cheese of a plate with my finger. He might not be the one who hunkers down with Turbo Tax to untangle the riddle family budgets when everyone's self employed. But he's the that brings me cups of tea, folds the laundry, and always drives when I'm too frazzled to pay attention.

Ultimately, the issue isn't whether they're helping you with the wedding. Change your perspective: are they helping you out with your LIFE?

There will be imbalances, but hopefully through practicing gratitude and taking a step back from the specifics, you can find the larger balances in your relationship. Your partner may not like planning this wedding, but do they fill your other needs? Are they great at dissecting fantasy novels or comparing obscure plot points of cult films? Are they excited to move across the country with you so you can finish your Masters? Do they hold you when you cry over the latest drama with your family? Do they support your visions? Do they uphold your values? Do they have strengths that perfectly match YOUR weaknesses?

You can hope so.

Ultimately, the issue isn't whether they're helping you with the wedding. Change your perspective: are they helping you out with your LIFE? For many of us, an imbalance in wedding planning is the perfect storm of imbalanced skills — gender issues, communication issues, interest issues — but when you take it out to the bigger picture and practice gratitude, hopefully you can see the ultimate balance to your relationship. If you don't, then that's a much larger issue than wedding planning. If there's a large scale imbalance, then you need to stop looking at wedding blogs and start looking at your relationship.

But chances are, when you take the time to truly appreciate your partner's strengths, when you take the time to stop what you're doing, take them in as they're working whatever magic it is that they rock so hard, and say to them "I appreciate you," chances are you're going to find the larger scale balance despite the immediate imbalances.

Oh and to bring it back to wedding planning: it should be FUN, at least some of the time. This is ultimately a party, and if planning a big party isn't fun at least SOME of the time for ONE of you, then you shouldn't do it. If both of you hate wedding planning, then scrap the plans and do a simple family-only ceremony or elope. The goal here is celebration — not drudgery. If your partner doesn't care, and you only care because you feel like you should — stop it!

Academic Librarian, Copyright Specialist and OBT member "Mollyali" has written an impressive post on copyright issues and how they relate to your wedding photos. Read on and learn!

I'm really excited by the amazing success we had negotiating with our wedding photographer around copyright, and I wanted to share what we did with OBB.

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, I'm a librarian with a background in publishing who frequently does outreach and education about copyright. None of this is legal advice, etc.

Okay. So before I explain what our photographer is doing for us, you need a very very abbreviated introduction to copyright. (I'm sorry, I'm a librarian, I have to teach you things, I can't help myself)…

1) The purpose of copyright law is to promote the progress of science and art. Hardly anyone knows that anymore. So many people think it's about generating profit for the music industry and giving individual artists total control over their work, but that's just not true. Once upon a time, copyright law was balanced between the needs of creators and the needs of the public. Things have gotten really unbalanced over the last 40 years, but the goal of serving the public and promoting progress is still in there.

2) Copyright protects creative works that are fixed in a tangible medium of expression. This means that in order for something to be protected by copyright, it has to be recorded some way, on paper or on a hard drive some other physical thing. There are several classes of creative work that qualify for copyright protection: literary works, musical works, dramatic works, choreographic works, pictorial, graphics, and sculptural works, motion pictures and other audiovisual works, sound recordings, and architectural works.

3) Copyright does not protect ideas or facts. Those are free for anyone to use, even if it makes them look like they're biting someone else's style. A work has to be at least a little bit creative to qualify for copyright protection. Something that is purely factual, like a phone book, does not have enough creativity to be copyrightable even if it takes a lot of effort and hard work to make it.

4) Copyright attaches to a work automatically the moment it is recorded. There is no need to register the copyright, or to put a little (c) on it, or even claim it. If a work is relatively new (created in the last 50 years or so) creative, and recorded in some way, it's almost definitely copyrighted. Copyright also lasts a really long time (currently, life of the creator plus 70 years after the creator dies). This means that most of what you find online is under copyright, even if there is no copyright symbol and no attribution and no source listed.

5) Copyright comes with a set of exclusive rights. These are things the copyright holder can do with the work that other people mostly cannot do (there are some important exceptions, but it would take way too much space for me to go into them here). The rights that come with copyright are:

• The right to make copies.
• The right to distribute copies.
• The right to make derivative works.
• The right to perform or display the work.

The copyright holder may keep these rights to herself, or she may give some or all of them away, usually with a contract or a license.

…the photographer you hire to shoot your wedding holds the copyrights in your wedding photos. She is free to sell them, publish them, Photoshop them, and share them. You are not.

So what does any of this have to do with your wedding photos? Everything. The way the default rules of copyright ownership work, the photographer you hire to shoot your wedding holds the copyrights in your wedding photos. She is free to sell them, publish them, Photoshop them, and share them. You are not. I hear all the time from people who believe that because they are the subjects of the photos, or because they are the ones who hired the photographer, then they are the ones who hold the copyright in the photos. In fact, it's just the opposite. Those exclusive rights are hers, not yours.

But that's just the default. You can change all that with the contract you sign when you hire your photographer. Most wedding photographers these days do retain the copyrights in the photos they take of your wedding, but they may give you a license to make personal, non-commercial uses of your photos. This is especially common when photographers offer a CD or DVD containing the high-res files of all your pictures. You usually have to pay extra, but a license like this means you can print copies yourself, post your pictures on Facebook, and send them to your friends, without asking for permission and without violating your photographer's copyright. These are all good rights to have, and I highly recommend reading your contract carefully to see if you get them, and if you don't, to ask.

For me and my boyfriend, a personal license was absolutely the bare minimum of what we would accept from our photographer. We're both copyright nerds, and we knew we needed a license to use our own wedding pictures. But what we really wanted – and ended up getting – was more.

A couple of weeks ago in the post about the XKCD save the dates, Ariel alluded to something called Creative Commons. Creative Commons is a system that allows creators to attach a license to their work that gives certain permissions to the whole world. There are several Creative Commons licenses to choose from. All the licenses require that whoever uses the work must attribute the creator and provide a link back to the original. Other options permit only non-commercial uses, forbid derivative works, or require people who build on a work to share the new work under the same license as the original.

Many photographers, artists, musicians, and authors – including the ones who make a living from their art – now use Creative Commons licenses because they recognize that it is good for them. They always get credit as the creator, and it's easier for people to discover and fall in love with their work when fans are free to copy and share it.

I love love love Creative Commons because it has made possible a huge pool of new creative material that we are free to use and build on without worrying about copyright infringement. This is especially exciting to librarians and educators like me and my boyfriend, but anyone who loves remixes or mash-ups or funny cat pictures on the internet should appreciate how much better life is when people feel free to build on the creative work of others.

I really didn't think we'd be able to convince a professional photographer to license our photos this way, but we did, and it wasn't even that hard.

So, back to wedding photos. Instead of a license that would just allow me and my boyfriend to use our wedding pics, we wanted a license that would allow anyone in the world to use our photos. We wanted a Creative Commons license. I really didn't think we'd be able to convince a professional photographer to license our photos this way, but we did, and it wasn't even that hard.

First, we found an amazing photographer who already offers a personal copyright license along with the CD of high-res files. This way, we already knew we had someone who didn't feel the need to retain complete control over the images. Once we'd gotten past the initial email exchange figuring out whether she was available, telling her how much we loved her work, describing our offbeat wedding plans, etc., I explained in an email a little bit about Creative Commons and why it was important to us, and I provided a couple of links to information where she could learn more. I was afraid we'd lose her right there, but to my surprise, she was just excited to be working with people who actually understood copyright law, and was totally open to hearing more about CC.

Then we set up a phone call where we could talk about all the usual stuff you talk about with a photographer, but in addition we discussed the CC license. I explained again why it was important to us, and talked about ways in which it could be good for her as well. We agreed that it would have to be a non-commercial license – anyone who wanted to make a commercial use of a photo, like for advertising, would have to contact her for permission. Her biggest concern was that if the license was attached to high-resolution versions of the photos it would be too easy for people to make infringing uses, especially in print.

Ultimately, we compromised with an agreement that we would be allowed to attach a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial license only to low-res versions of the files. This is enough to allow for web-based reuses of our photos, but was limited enough that our photographer was comfortable giving it a try. We edited the language in her standard photographer contract to reflect the new license, and that was it.

Contracts can be intimidating and full of legalese, but it's really worth taking the time to understand what is in your agreement with your photographer, and to negotiate for more rights if they're not in the standard agreement. I was surprised by how much we were able to get just by asking.

If you want a concise overview of what Creative Commons is and why it is valuable, I highly recommend this video.

Her offbeat partner: Andreas, WEB 2,0 Master, PR-Officer, music expert

Location & date of wedding: Kettwig-Rathaus, Germany; "3/4 Zehn" Kettwig; "Veranda" Odessa; the Crimea trip — 6th August 2009

What made our wedding offbeat: I am from Ukraine. My husband is German. So all clichees are there at once.

I met him during my studies in Germany. After being friends for several years it came to us, we were no longer friends.

In Prague, he proposed me, to the great happiness of us both and our families who were dying to be on a next wedding, so the new challenge was on. How? Ukrainians, Germans, other far friends…

We found the way: 1st part Essen, 2nd part Odessa, 3rd part Crimea honeymoon wild trip with all who would come with us.

We created our own wedding blog.

I had really limited resources as to where to get a dress. My sister made me a dress according to the tv show How I Met Your Mother (Ted's girlfriend). We bought new Chucks and twittered the wedding right from Andreas' iPhone.

Our friends organized us their old "wedding Volkswagen" full of roses, champagne in the wedding yard, cake party at mom's, pictures at Zoll Verein, puddling at the lake, after-wedding party at friends' home in Essen.

One week later we met in Odessa, at the beach restaurant Veranda, entering the place with the Imperial March, celebrated again, swam drunk in the night Black Sea, then partied at a rented apartment in Odessa.

Three days later we rented a bus and went to the Crimea — backpackers, water-hunting, swimming, night fire, singing. Then coming home to my parents; twenty-one wild dirty people sleeping all around the place and flying back to Germany, UK and the US.

Our biggest challenge: There were too many and at the same time… none.

My favorite moment: Standing at a pier at the nightly Black Sea beach, hugging my husband, smiling, hearing wild shouts and music from the restaurant, knowing we made it and being sure we are so offbeat.

My offbeat advice: Do what you want! You can do it!

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn:

Robert and Kelly Gash are an adorable husband and wife team that make up Gash Photography in Seattle, covering all of Seattle, Washington, and beyond. These two crazy kids get their kicks out of working with couples who enjoy "breaking the rules" much in the same way they've done with their business.

Their idea was simple… build a relationship by committing their time to each client. And don't ask people to make sacrifices just to fit a budget. They threw traditional "limited" pricing out the window to give everyone the same great photography coverage. In a sentence: they cater to offbeat brides by being offbeat photographers.

Gash Photography has shot several offbeat weddings, but said that the wedding of Seattle couple Genna and Adam stood out as the one to share with our beloved Offbeat readers. Keep reading to see more porn from Gash Photography's favorite offbeat wedding and to take advantage of their big FAT offbeat discount…

Genna and Adam did a great job of incorporating traditional elements into a very non-traditional service, but the one thing that stood out is how they integrated their love of music into everything they did: engagement photos at a record store underneath Pike Place Market, a friend who performed the music live on guitar at the ceremony, to one of the most energetic dance parties at a reception that Gash Photography had ever encountered.

Genna and Adam's friends even went to the trouble of creating a custom record sleeve and selecting one of their favorite records as a group gift to them. Combined with a great supporting staff, and some pretty adventurous photo sessions at the market and in the park, it made for a beautifully individual Northwest wedding that was completely offbeat, but the beat was never off.

And that's also a really great way to describe Gash Photography: "offbeat, but the beat is never off." And what's even better than their fabulous photos? Their even more fabulous discount…

Gash Photography's "Offbeat Wedding Stimulus":
A complementary upgraded package for everybody, even our entry package! (For weddings in 2010-11, that's a $500 discount!).
Every package includes:

• 2 Photographers
• Full day coverage (no hour limits)
• Engagement session (on location)
• Full resolution DVD
• No minimum print requirements: you decide how much to order

I met Kelly at the Offbeat Bride book reading last weekend, I can totally vouch for the fact that she's not only adorable, but she'd be a hoot to hang with at your wedding. So, if you're in the Northwest area, get in contact with Gash Photography and know that all your wedding is in good hands.

Her offbeat partner: Mike, Operations Ninja and Writer

Location & date of wedding: Thorpewood, Thurmont, MD — 01/17/2010

What made our wedding offbeat: Our wedding was very much about expressing our geeky, crazy love. When we decided on a winter wedding, we stumbled upon the idea of the “Midwinter Night’s Dream” theme, and tried very hard to make it whimsical, light-hearted, and above all fun, without being too over-the-top with the faerie or renfest theme. I’m also a crafter who loves DIYing everything, so pretty much everything we COULD make ourselves, we did.

The men were in Utilikilts, the women were in vaguely medieval gowns made by me (with chemises they made themselves), and I wore a blue dress and fabulous blue boots.

Since neither of us is particularly religious, and since we paid for everything ourselves, we were able to do pretty much whatever we wanted. We kept the bits of tradition we liked, and ditched the bits we didn’t. I had a Matron of Awesome, a Bridesmaid, and a Bridesdude; Mike had a Best Dude and two Groomsguys. Mike walked down the aisle with our ring bearer to the theme from Batman, and I danced in to “Lovecats,” by the Cure.

Dancing down the aisle.

I knew from the start that I wouldn’t be wearing a white dress, and that I’d be making whatever I wore myself. It incorporated the skirt of my grandmother’s wedding dress, an underskirt of blue taffeta, an overskirt of blue chiffon, and a blue taffeta corset. I also totally stole the idea of a ribbon veil from OBB, and whipped up a headpiece using ribbon leftover from the bouquets.

Tell us about your ceremony: Our awesome officiant, an old friend of mine, managed to work in references to Shakespeare, World of Warcraft, and Joss Whedon’s "Firefly," without any of it sounding too hokey.

In keeping with the “Midwinter Night’s Dream” theme, the vows, ring exchange, and unity cocktail wording was all written by me and Mike, in iambic pentameter (with a bit of tetrameter thrown in, as in some of Puck’s speeches in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”). An example:

And so I place my heart within your hands
to have and hold, whatever joys and strife
may come. My love, before you now I stand
and pledge my troth, henceforth to be your wife.
And so before these gentles here
to witness now these vows sincere,
Give me your hand if we be friends,
and with this ring I do thee wed.

Did I mention a unity cocktail? Why yes I did! We wanted to do something other than the typical candle or sand ceremony –- while awesome, those aren’t very “us.” Mike is a beer connoisseur, and I’m a fan of hard cider, so when we stumbled upon a combination at the Maryland renfest last year, we knew we had to use it as our unity cocktail: Sam Adams Cherry Wheat beer and Woodchuck cider. Just trust me –- I know it sounds weird, but it’s delicious. I found a pair of heavy wine glasses and a pretty pitcher at an antique store, and we mixed and sipped as part of the ceremony.

This cake confuses and intrigues me.

What was your biggest challenge?: Since we were paying for everything ourselves, keeping costs low was a definite priority, but we also knew that there were things we didn’t want to scrimp on. We went with a buffet rather than served meal, but splurged on some of the pieces of it (and everyone commented on how wonderful the food was, so it was worth it). We also held the wedding on a Sunday because it’s cheaper than Saturday, but the venue itself was still fairly expensive. It’s a non-profit, though, so we felt good about spending the money there. We definitely paired down a LOT from our initial idea list, once we started adding up the costs!

Another issue I had was delegating some of the DIY work, and knowing when to say “screw it, we’re buying that!” I made the guys’ shirts, and had initially intended to make vests as well, but quickly realized that there was no way I would have the time. We ended up just telling them to go find a vest in any dark color, which worked out just fine. I delegated the card box and table place holders to the Best Dude, who’s very a very handy carpenter, and the girls made their own chemises to wear under the dresses. I’m very Type-A when it comes to doing everything myself, so it was very challenging to me to let some parts of it go and trust that those I’d entrusted with the tasks would do them perfectly well.

Have you been married before and if so, what did you do differently?: This was the second time around for both of us. We did a lot more DIYing this time, and were much more cognizant of what WE really wanted, not necessarily what was expected of us. I also didn’t get to dance at all at my first wedding (through a long series of equipment SNAFUs), so that was something I absolutely wanted to make sure we were able to do. And we did! We actually managed to get quite a bit of dancing in, which was one of the best parts of the day.

What were the most meaningful moments of your wedding?: As everyone says, there were so many! When I reached the front of the room and took Mike’s hands, and we looked into each others’ eyes, I thought I would melt right then and there. When our officiant almost lost it and started sniffling towards the end of the ceremony, I thought we were doomed. But I think most of all, it was that first kiss, and the one right after, and the one after that, until someone poked us and pointed out that we were done and could walk back down the aisle together now.

Another moment that had me nearly in tears was when my father, with whom I’ve never been all that close, told me that he had never seen me look happier. And it’s true!

My advice for other offbeat brides: The most important words of wisdom I got were from my Matron of Awesome, and were first uttered in regards to HER wedding, several months earlier: "As long as you’re married at the end of the day, the details don’t really matter. It won’t be perfect, but it will be your day, and at the end of it, you’ll be married to the love of your life and that’s really what’s important. Everything else is just gravy." I found that advice invaluable whenever I started to freak out about some detail or other.

The other bit of advice I have is to remember that DIY does not always equal cheaper. If you add up the cost of all the materials in my bouquets and boutonnieres, for example, it would probably be pretty close to the cost of real flowers. Totally worth it, in my opinion, but definitely something to keep in mind.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?:

• Cake: Trevor Burroughs, The Cake Guy
• Catering: Canapes
• Photography: Red Turtle Photography

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!:

OBT member Derek Kyle Noel made, yes MADE, these incredible Ouija board save-the-dates for his upcoming Halloween wedding.

For more photos and information about how he made these puppies, head over to his post about them on So You're EnGAYged where Derek also blogs about his upcoming "Gay Boy Halloween Wedding."

Her offbeat partner: Hugo, Assistant Studio Manager- Ad Agency

Location & date of wedding: Church: OLPH, Lindenhurst, NY. Hall: Larkfield Manor, E. Northport, NY — August 14, 2009

What made our wedding offbeat: The first thing we decided on is that the entire menu would be vegetarian. This scared some people, including my mother, but at the end of the day everyone loved it.

I always wanted a Scottish wedding with the men wearing kilts and bagpipers and since I was able to rustle myself up a nice Irish boy I was able to pull the whole thing off quite easily! As you can see from some of the photos… they were indeed wearing undies.

We made a donation in our guests honor to Farm Sanctuary as our favors.

Our biggest challenge: We insisted on a 100% vegetarian menu and there were a few people who had some strong opinions against it. We stuck to our guns and at the end of the day EVERYONE I talked to said their meals were delicious.

My favorite moment: Venetian Hour — an extra hour of dessert? Yes, please!

My offbeat advice: If theres something that you really want and people are giving you a hard time about it you need to remember it's YOUR day. I guarantee that the ones originally complaining are going to be your biggest fans in the end.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?:

• Farm Sanctuary
• Matthew Miller Photography
• Kilt Rental- Piper's Cove

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn:

Coming from her background as a punk rock music scene photographer, San Francisco based Lauren Cohn-Frankel brings an approach to weddings that is about the individuality of every couple, both in style and substance. Because, as Lauren puts it,

"Offbeat weddings are about more than just cool and weird fashion and accessories; they are about moving beyond the superficial, about the right of every couple to put meaning and intention into every aspect of their wedding and make their wedding their own."

Keep reading to see some more examples of Lauren Cohn-Frankel's colorful, unique, and beautiful work, find out what makes her stand out from other photographers and to take advantage of her special Offbeat Bride offer…

These shots are from Lydia and Mike's rockabilly vintage wedding at a Russian Orthodox church and log cabin reception. With tattoos, a pompadour'd groom, the bride in a vintage dress and leopard print shrug, cool flowers including pots of grass and clover, this wedding was an Offbeat Bride's dream. You can check out the details on the Cohn Frankel Photography blog.

One of the many things that sets Cohn Frankel Photography apart from most photographers is her intensely personal wedding albums called "couture books." Lauren takes all the little touches that the couple put so much thought and work into, and incorporates them into the design of the book itself. So, more than just having unique pictures, the whole album becomes a work of art dedicated to your personal style. Check out Lydia and Mike's album for examples of her couture book art.

Offbeat Discount: Only for Offbeat Brides, Lauren Cohn-Frankel is offering free digital negatives (aka disk of high res images plus printing rights) with every wedding package. This is perfect for crafty OBBs who may want to do their own printing and album designing, without having to compromise on the quality of their photographer.

Lauren shoots to tell a story, so if you want your story told with a vibrance and personality all your own get in contact with Lauran ASAP, because she only accepts a limited number of wedding bookings per year!

When you want shoes that take the whole "romance" thing quite literally, then you want a pair of so-sweet-they'll-give-you-cavities heart-themed wedding shoes.

I went and trawling for heart shoes, and found the full range — from loud 'n' proud to understated. Some of these shoes are subtle, with hearts on the soles or heart-shaped buckles. Others of them are more obvious, with their hearts on their sleeves (AARGH! How could I not make that joke?). As always, I tried to go for a range of styles: heels, flats, boots, sandals, cheap, spendy, etc.

There are some old favorites here (no heart shoe collection would be complete without the infamous Vivienne Westwoods!) but lots you've never seen on Offbeat Bride.

As usual, click the image to get lots more information, and if you can't see the images, try disabling your ad blocking plugin for a moment.

Here's to the last day of "geek week" weddings and the end to the count-down the book reading! And do I got a doozy for ya… See what happens when two comic book dorks fall in love. I'll give you hint — utter amazingness. -Megan

The offbeat bride: Ann, Reservations Agent, Dork, and Sewing Superhero (and OBT member "Ann Verleg")

Her offbeat partner: Sean, Kitchen Manager, Dork and Ann’s personal Chef

Location & date of wedding: St. Andrews on the Square Kamloops, British Columbia Canada — October 31st, 2009 Halloween

What made our wedding offbeat: Our quest was to make our wedding hilariously fun and heartfelt. Everything was about us and our weird and wonderful imagination. We had a Viking themed ceremony that included a sword ceremony and dowry exchange, a dorktastic photo shoot in the park and at the comic book store where we met, a reception complete with beard contest and a pajama party/gift opening at breakfast.

Our invitations stated that costumes were mandatory *GASP!* Several of our guests even grew beards to truly fit our Viking theme, so we threw in a beard contest complete with trophies. Because we don’t know when to quit, we also had some farthest traveled trophies, several dance competitions, and best costume prizes.

My mother and I sewed a lot of costumes. We had about eighty guests/attendants/vendors all together and a good 75% had costumes on that we had sewn.

The event that every guest truly enjoyed was the battle for the buffet! Every table had to choose a leader of there clan. That person had to make the sound and motion of the animal their table was named after in order to get the attention of the MC and answer a trivia question. If they answered the question correctly they could proceed to the throne room for a photo and then continue on to the buffet. If they did not partake in the photo they would be thrown into the great pit of Carkoon and be eaten by the all powerful Sarlacc. Sounds fun huh?

My favorite moment: There are too many special moments to list. How about when I tripped on my dress and landed on my back and crushed my crown into the back of my head? The room went silent and I started to laugh, I just got up and kept dancing, crushed crown and all.

Another would be after dinner when we opened a present from my Dutch family. It was a painting by my grandfather of Odin’s Ravens. I never knew that the painting even existed; neither did my parents until there trip back to Holland this spring. My mom spotted it in my aunt’s basement and she schemed to get it to Canada, without my knowledge.

Sean also has a few favorite moments. When the boys did their photo shoot before the ceremony they did an “Abby Road” themed photo. While trying to take it they backed up traffic seven cars deep. Apparently no one was brave enough to ask them to move, no honking horns or one fingered salutes. I guess they were afraid to be asked “WHAT’S IN YOUR WALLET?” Vikings are intimidating ya know?

Sean was in awe when he saw me for the first time that day walking down the aisle to the Imperial March. Rumor has it that he also enjoyed the wedding night. And yes, as his friend Cooper said during dinner “The deflector shield is (umm was) fully operational.”

My offbeat advice: Save, save and save some more. We saved enough money that we sold our tin can (mobile home) and bought/moved into a duplex two months before our big day. A little hectic yes, but also totally awesome!

I *love* this picture!

Let everyone know in advance of your epic wedding ideas. You don’t need to tell them everything, but it will help some of your guests absorb and understand your vision. It will also inspire people to help and give you useful advice. They might also scour every thrift store in you province until they find a blow horn for $5.00 at the Sally Ann, or drive all the way to Viking Alberta to send you a reply card with a picture of themselves in front of the town sign.

If you plan on lots of DIY give yourself time… We gave ourselves two years, and we still bought a few items. Time really helps the budget.

Buy or make your attendants clothes. They will love you looooooong time!

Use your network of friends to save big! Church, reception, food and beverage, flowers, DJ, cake, costumes for the bridal party and guests and our photos were all done by friends and family. Yes! Friends CAN take awesome photos and they don’t charge you the biggest chunk of your wedding budget.

Sean’s advice: Wear clean underwear. And get as much done as early as possible (even if you have two years), something always pops up last minute.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?:

• I can’t say enough about shopping in thrift stores, discount shops, garage sales, eBay and etsy!
• Where we met: High Octane Comics
• Our Ceremony/Vows (from a fellow offbeat bride… Who knew?): WeddingSkulls
• Grooms Armor (Made in Canada): Le Troll aux Trousses
• Some guests found this website helpful for an inexpensive costume in a wide range of sizes: Holy Clothing
• Flowers were by my Maid of Honour, but she works at Art Knapps
• All of our guests stayed at The Ramada Inn Kamloops (Where Sean works) With rooms for $50.00 per night you can’t complain.
• Bridesmaid Dresses (Yes we broke down and bought them) Pearsons Renaissance Shoppe

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn: