Oasis Writing Link™

Goodbye Sun: Loss Reflection (Repost)

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Thu, 04 Nov 2021 14:16:00 +0000

Follow the link to read a tribute to my mother Susan Pittmann for her October 31st birthday.

Dear Mom,

Thank you for all that I am. I hope that you are proud of me.

I will always love you.

Cynthia

The Rum Diary

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Thu, 28 Mar 2019 22:58:00 +0000

Hunter S. Thompson wrote the novel The Rum Diary during his time in Puerto Rico. He befriended journalists employed at The San Juan Star (The Star) which provides inspiration for this novel. In Thompson's story, the protagonist Paul Kemp works at The San Juan Daily News (The News). Written in first-person, the novel was completed when he was 22 years old. Still, it wasn't published until he revised it 40 years later.

A good audio version of the book can be listened to here.

A modern take from a tourist who is looking for Hunter Thompson's experience' in Puerto Rico can be found here (article). It's worth reading to question how contemporary audiences make connections to Puerto Rico.

The novel romanticizes the difficulties of the past, celebrates drinking and the freedom to express violence toward misunderstood others. No doubt the unfavorable portrayals of locals and tourists alike are riveting.
The film captures what it can of the novel but they are different experiences. Johnny Depp's personality, mixed with Paul Kemp's persona, creates someone quite different from the protagonist in the novel. Depp's updated take seems to have more sensitivity to Puerto Rico and Puerto Ricans; whereas, the young Thompson portrays middle-aged women or rebellious coworkers at The News, with cruelly sharp and revolting images.

“Happy," I muttered, trying to pin the word down. But it is one of those words, like Love, that I have never quite understood. Most people who deal in words don’t have much faith in them and I am no exception – especially the big ones like Happy and Love and Honest and Strong. They are too elusive and far to relative when you compare them to sharp, mean little words like Punk and Cheap and Phony. I feel at home with these, because they’re scrawny and easy to pin, but the big ones are tough and it takes either a priest or a fool to use them with any confidence.”
― Hunter S. Thompson, The Rum Diary

Oasis Writing Link™: Airing Dirty Laundry

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Sun, 25 Mar 2018 17:51:00 +0000

Oasis Writing Link™: Airing Dirty Laundry

Are you one of those people who believe that what people don't know, won't hurt them. Think again as you read this popular post about those TMI moments that actually are an invitation to connect.

Cynthia Pittmann and Humans of La IUPI (Complete Interview)

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Thu, 26 May 2016 20:43:00 +0000

Interview by Humans of La iUPI - Gabriel Ramos and Nahmyr Mayas - who can be found on Facebook at Humans of la IUPI

Interview of Prof. Pittmann

APRIL 24, 2016

A segment of this interview was published on the Facebook Page Humans of La IUPI on April 24, 2016. The interviewers and administrators of the FB page are university students Gabriel Ramos and Nahmyr Mayas. They interview people associated with the University of Puerto Rico, Rio Piedras in order to bring a common understanding between people, and their FB page is associated with Humans of New York.

HOLI: How has your day been so far?

Pittmann: Today has been an interesting day because there was a spur of the moment change that often happens here in Puerto Rico. I had extra time so I met up with a student for coffee and talked with her about her autobiographical story. After our meeting, I went to the planned assembly (and the reason classes were canceled) and it was so packed with people! Students, professors, and support staff were sitting in all of the chairs, on the floor and standing up in the back. Since there was no room, I left. I had a free period so I came here [to the APPU patio] a little bit early and had lunch.

HOLI: When you were young, did you think you were going to be a professor?

Pittmann: When I was young –for a quick minute—I wanted to become a hip go-go girl. I had a lot of funny dreams like that. I think most young kids do. My strongest desire though, was to go to college. Since neither of my parents had finished high school when I was growing up, they didn’t really know how you go about planning for college. They always said: “Yeah, go to college.” And later on, when my mother completed high school and started community college, I thought that I really didn’t want to do it that way. By the time I was 16, I decided to join the Navy to take advantage of the GI Bill and its educational benefits. It did work out because the military paid for my college education for almost 5 years. I got my BA and through my MA degree. It was only about $400 a month, but it was still really helpful. I had to have a part time job while attending school so I could manage. By then, I really wanted to be a writer but was not ready to admit it. That career was just so unheard of! In my background no one had any experience with writing as a career. If you told anyone that you wanted to write, they thought it was unrealistic and that you could never make any money to support yourself.

HOLI: That same thinking still goes on today. What was behind that? Did you write all the time?

Pittmann: I started writing in junior high school; I started writing in a journal. I had a teacher who told us to just write to a friend or to no one. We could write to ourselves. Whatever we wanted to do, we were required to write. So I started writing a letter to a friend and then I just kept it up. I liked it. I called my “reader” a friend forever. I still have that journal. I just remembered thinking: “You know, it would be great if you could just write and express yourself all the time.”

HOLI: When you showed the class your blog, one of the things that interests us the most was the writing about your mother. We read a little and it says that she was killed by her neighbor because of her sexual orientation. Can you talk to us more about your mother and your relationship with her?

Pittmann: My mother was born on October 31^st, which was the Witches Day or Halloween, and she thought it was funny because people are so superstitious. She just took the meaning of her birthday as a playful sign of personal empowerment. I liked the way she could reverse the meaning of symbols and my blog is dedicated to her. I can’t say that we didn’t have a complicated relationship when I was growing up. She used to call herself fertile Myrtle because she started having kids when she was 19 and every year after that she had five. She decided after we were all raised to go back to college. I was in the Navy and everyone else had moved along. I think it was when she was studying social work and gender that all of the questions about her gender orientation started coming up. At that time, a Wayne State professor had the students do a project – a self-ethnographic study. After she was murdered, I found the journal-like study and read through it. I found out she had gone through a lot of tough times when she was growing up and that society wasn’t helpful or forgiving. Her parents had problems and the world was a violent place in this young girl’s eyes. I still think the world is still a violent place for a lot of people. In her case, she never seemed to question her sexuality. For her, she thought of herself as just a tomboy. After going to school and talking to a lot of people, I think she started to realize and acknowledge that she was attracted to women. One time she called me on the phone when I was living in California and she wondered aloud, “Why is everybody was always asking me if I’m lesbian? This conversation was a several years before she died. I told her: “Well, are you?” And then she didn’t say anything. I think she started to acknowledge that she liked women. Her call was a sort of testing the water, to see how her family would react to the news. Because I was okay with it, and my older sister was too. My brother has a little trouble accepting Mom’s same-sex gender preference, he doesn’t think it’s right. That resistance to unconditional acceptance is why I have so much of my mom in my blog. I take her life as an inspiration. She and her partner Christine Puckett started Affirmations in Michigan, and the group is for LGBTQ rights as well as a social organization, which is nationwide now. It offers a lot of support. I’m proud of her for doing that.

HOLI: Where were you on the day that she was killed? How did you find out?

Pittmann: I was working at the Naval Consolidated Brig in Miramar, California. It was Communications Counselor/Life Skills teacher for confined people who had problems with violence, with themselves, or just problems in general. They talked to me about their personal problems. When I was at work, my sister called me and she said that Mom’s been murdered. I said that it wasn’t true and asked her how she knew. She said our cousin called and I still said, “How do you really know?” I didn’t want to believe it unless I really new for sure. I said to her, “Call me back when you really know.” She kept trying to convince me, but I wouldn’t believe her. I think it was a self-defense mechanism. I refused to believe her. Work was a strange dynamic after that because some of the inmates were confined for gay bashing, or some were sexually active while knowing that they were HIV positive and not informing their partners. It was a new kind of crime that was just classified as assault. I was in that kind of situation where assault related to gender prejudice was visible and relevant. At that moment, I wasn’t thinking about that. I was thinking about the trial we had to go through, and writing letters to the judge, and most of all trying to find out why it happened. When that kind of thing happens (a murder), you have so much curiosity. I think that’s also a way of being protected from feeling. You think that if you know how it happened, you can change the past but you cannot. That thinking process is good for you because it helps you to open up to the reality of the murder slowly. And then dealing with the real truth, which is that your neighbor has killed your mother and her partner. So, it was tough for everybody in my family.

HOLI: What is the current position of the person who committed the murder?

Pittmann: James Brooks? He was convicted of double homicide, and since he was an older man, he stayed in jail until he died. We didn’t ask for a capital punishment because most of my family members didn’t believe in it. The majority of us don’t but the lawyers thought that double homicide was the way to go and so that’s the way we went. It’s surprising because I knew him so well. When Christine, Mom’s partner was out in the yard stabilizing some fence posts, he was in the kitchen with a bunch of guns. He just picked one up and shot her from the kitchen door and then he got another gun and walked over to her. My mom went out when she saw Christine on the ground, and while my mom was talking to him, he just lifted the other gun he had in his hand and shot her right in the center. And then, he went back and shot Christine in the back just to make sure that she was gone. He had a strong feeling that it had to be done because they were violating a natural law or something. He felt that he was doing a necessary service – like when you shoot a horse with a broken leg. His idea was that it had to be done, it’s a part of society to be eradicated.

HOLI: How did you look for closure or do you embrace the situation?

Pittmann: Early on I learned in that there wasn’t going to be a complete closure from this experience. The only way you could deal with something like this is if you look for meaning and some kind of way to help— to memorialize your loved ones or help prevent that from happening to other people. That way you develop compassion rather than bitterness. One of the inmates at the brig talked to me about his reason for confinement. He told me that he had friends in Texas, and sometimes they went to a bar and when they saw a gay person leaving the bar they would follow him and used a bat to beat him. He was ashamed because he never connected a person to the violence until he found out about my mother. He needed to confess and asked me for forgiveness.

HOLI: In some way, you’ve seen bad or evil in people. What’s keeping you so sane, or at peace with yourself? What’s giving your life meaning?

Pittmann: I do a lot of thinking about how people are in life and in general. I’ve realized that through connection with others and developing compassion for others you can have a meaningful life. It gives your life meaning. I’m not excusing Brooks for his violence but I believe everybody has that possibility of violence within themselves. We need to develop compassion and to realize that we’re all connected. We need to realize that it’s not always just one person who is responsible for a violent crime. Sure one person goes to jail but in this case, I feel that it was a bigger problem. Society was involved. There were people who shared his beliefs and made him feel that he was doing the right thing. We need to learn to love one another, and I know that sounds cheesy, but to connect with each other no matter our differing backgrounds. Make the world better for ourselves. I think I had that belief before my mom was killed, but this experience has put it to the test. We have to be tolerant with one another. We’re disconnected from our inner world and we’re products of our immediate environment. We are not aware of what our hearts feel and as a result, we forget that human beings matter. Maybe Brooks got too isolated? And maybe he felt confused. My mom didn’t think he was going to do it. Maybe he felt angry, and probably felt he was doing something out of loyalty to my father who had died years before.

HOLI: It’s really shocking. You said society is disconnected in some way and I share your opinion on that because we see in the news that there was an earthquake and a lot of people died, a catastrophe, and we don’t feel it. We talk about it but we don’t know what they are going through. I think it’s because we are sitting behind a cellphone or a computer, and we just can’t relate.

Pittmann: Yes. I had a disconnect when I found out my mom was killed, and that kept happening over and over. I would forget and then painfully remember. My mind pushed away the pain. We have these pain barriers that sometimes keep us from the opportunity to feel empathy. Our mind is engage, but our hearts are not. We have to be all together in this world.

BECOMING A POETIC DAREDEVIL

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Fri, 19 Feb 2016 18:32:00 +0000

When I dare to be powerful,

to use my strength in the service of my vision,

then it becomes less and less important

whether I am afraid. ~ Audre Lorde

When I ask my students to write a poem, a hushed and anxious silence comes over the room. I feel their soft tissue contract and hard shells close down. It's all over now. Gone is their creative inspiration. No pearls of poetic wisdom will be given here.

I understand that writing (and sharing) a poem is akin to revealing your most embarrassing moment so I usually try to find a sideways strategy to coax open those locked shells.

Step 1: Acknowledge Our Common Humanity

It helps to know that everyone can be vunerable. To that end, I might tell them about my most embarrassing moment to give them the courage to open up again:

I was a drum major leading the Huron High School marching band during halftime at the homecoming game. For those of you who don't know, this American football game is part of a tradition that welcomes back alumni. In consequence, the stands were packed full of current students, friends, teachers, administrators, as well as former graduates. There was a light rain that evening when we marched briskly across the field. Challenged by my co-leader Mark Gardner, I learned to kick high while twirling the baton. When I finished my high kicking and baton stunt, Mark would throw his high up in the air, spin around, catch it and march along again. He loved to do daring performance throws. Most often, he would catch the baton, but sometimes he would miss. It didn't stop him, and he constantly pushed me to do more. Our performance was going fine that night, but I was a little worried about my kick. I would make it high this time. I'd show Mark that I could lead as well as anyone.

HALFTIME

The game was so close! Everyone sat in anticipation. When we finished our musical numbers, it would start again. All eyes were on the field as we turned the corner. I'm the first to face the tightly packed and excited crowd. Throwing my baton and kicking high, I felt the rhythm. I knew I could do more, kick higher, and really show my enthusiasm. Inspired by the driving beat of the drums, I pranced proudly and kicked higher still. So high, in fact, that I landed in great surprise on my backside!

The crowd was suddenly hushed while a slow building roar of uncontrolled mirth rolled over the bleachers and arrived to my burning ears. They're laughing! They're laughing at me! Up, I jumped. I looked back and here comes my ever teasing competitor. When he's within earshot I whisper, "Stop Laughing! How could you!?" My eyes screamed at him but meanwhile, I must gather my injured pride and continue as everyone knows that the show must go on or to borrow another useful cliché, I thought:

You have to get back on the horse when you fall.

I marched up to the front, turned and waited for the band. It's time to conduct the ever popular Washington Post March. I lift my arms, blow the whistle in two-step time and begin. I dare a look over at Mark, and yes, he's still laughing.

Now, I laugh, too, but it took a while to find any humor in that public humiliation.

Oh vanity. You are a tough adversary!

I thank Mark to this day for helping me realize that I needed to be more playful and take risks and their potential failure lightly. Later, I became more able to gracefully accept my flaws and find the freedom in laughing at (and with!) myself.

As a writer, it's important to be emotionally honest. As a writer, the biggest failure is if you are not authentic because readers will let you know - even if it's just by ignoring you. Be brave. Make mistakes. Besides, you can always edit later. Go ahead. Put yourself out there! You have so much to gain by focusing on your vision instead of worrying about your vulnerability.

Washington Post March

After reading that story of my own humiliation, I encourage you to remember and let go of any idea that you have to protect your image. Offering an undefended humanity to others as you write is the most generous and appreciated gift.

Next up, I ask the question: What are the most important aspects of compelling writing?

SIDE NOTE:

John Philip Sousa wrote the Washington Post March in 1889 for a literary contest. In the inaugural Amateur Authors Association essay contest sponsored by the Washington Post, which was held on the Smithsonian grounds on June 15, 1889, a crowd of 25,000 people gathered to listen to the march and watch as 11 students (8 girls and 3 boys) received their gold metals.

10 Ways to Give Writers Helpful Feedback

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Wed, 06 May 2015 18:50:00 +0000

Identify what you want and learn how to ask for it.

Lisa: So I was just wondering if there was one general thing that you've found over the years to be generally true in a general way that would help anyone in any situation?
Psychiatrist: That's a great question, yes, I would say figure out what you want and learn how to ask for it.
Lisa: OK. Those are both really hard.

--How Do You Know (film)

The above quotations are from the movie "How Do you Know." I appreciate this movie psychiatrist's advice as it relates to writing as well. Many writers are intimidated to ask for what they need related to feedback. In fact, it is difficult to know what types of feedback will have a favorable influence on your work. Most of us have experienced that situation where a reader's feedback was tough and caused us to stop writing for a while. The best kind of feedback helps writers to move forward in a writing project. The following suggestions are given to my students so that they can benefit from and give helpful feedback on their class forums and discussion groups. They are adapted from Peter Elbow and Pat Belanof's book, Sharing and Responding. New York: Random House, 1989.

TYPES OF FEEDBACK for Forum comments:
I. No Responding: Sharing
1. Just read the blog out loud; see what the words sound like. What is your reaction? (Write this)

II. Descriptive Responding:

2.   Sayback
Write back in your own words some aspect of the post. But say it more as a question--Are you saying...?
3.   Pointing
Write the words or phrases that stick in your mind. Which passages/features did you like best? Don't explain why.
4.   Summarizing
What is the main point? Subordinate ones?
5.   What's Almost Said or Implied
Explain what is almost said, implied, or hovering around the edges. What would you like to hear more about?"
6.   Center of Gravity
What is the source of energy, the focal point, the seedbed, the generative center for this piece
7.   Structure
Comment on the Voice, Point of View, Attitude toward Reader, Level of Abstraction/Concreteness; Language, Diction, Syntax
8.   Metaphorical Descriptions
Describe the blog in terms of weathers, clothing, colors, animals.
9.   Believing and Doubting
Believe or pretend to believe everything that was written. Offer ideas and perceptions to help the case. Then doubt everything that was written. Say arguments that can be made against what was written.
10. Movies of the Mind
Tell the writer what happens inside your head as you read the words in the blog.

These tips are a way to improve both the reader and writer's experience. Let me know how they work for you.

5 Essential Tips for Burgeoning Writers

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Tue, 14 Apr 2015 21:53:00 +0000

The Basic Question:

What do writers need in order to be successful in their creative work?

Location

1. Finding your place to write is of utmost importance. In “A Room of One’s Own,” Virginia Woolf stresses this requirement when she writes: “A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.”

― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own

Of course, not all writers have the luxury of having money provided so that they can develop as writers. Many have to spend some of their time in gainful employment. She stresses that women must make a special effort to write because during her time (1882-1941), it was more common for men to develop into great writers. She successfully broke out from her historical confines and became known as one of the first modernist writers. During her lifetime it was the "man of the house" to have a private study. Her life struggle to become a writer of merit led her to understand that having a place to write means that you are giving priority to your work. Nevertheless, the logistics of being in one location and/or finding a room in a busy house can be frustrating. The author of Writing as a Way of Healing, Louise Desalvo, explains that you can be more flexible and place a desk in a hall or in any room to provide yourself with a place that is your own. A writing location allows you to form a routine. It is the writing habit that provides you with the platform to grow. For many writers, it may be a local coffee house that creates a sense of place. Students often write at desks in their bedroom or on cushioned boards (or laptops) while still in bed. Some writers such as Jamaica Kincaid, author of the short story "Girl," the novel Annie John, and the essays, A Small Place (among others), continues with this technique. She has comments on staying in bed and in her pajamas all day so that she can write - a routine that allows her to concentrate. Maya Angelou discovered her time management strategy through necessity since she had to travel so much to speaking engagements. She decided to make her hotel room her writing room. Her solution worked so well that she continued renting a hotel room for this very purpose. She said in an interview, "I do still keep a hotel room in my hometown, and pay for it by the month. I go around 6:30 in the morning. I have a bedroom, with a bed, a table, and a bath. I have Roget’s Thesaurus, a dictionary, and the Bible."(Link to the full interview, The Daily Beast, "How I Write," Maya Angelou) In this same interview, she explains that the room must have completely bare walls so as not to cause her any distraction, which demonstrates a significant degree of self knowledge. My writing room goes by the name of "the writing closet" because I store my clothes and write my secrets there. I visit the "closet" every morning.

2. Self knowledge

A writer should have some understanding of her personalized and unique path to writing or finding the muse. The discovery of your insight can be obtained by self-observation as you write. Through noticing your own process, when and in what circumstances trigger writing, allows you to develop as a writer.

3. Inspiration and Creativity

Naranjito, Puerto Rico

Another strategy is to seek out writers you admire and read their works. Even though these writers may be personally inaccessible, it helps to have an image of a writer for inspiration. Through an internet search, looking for comments, blogs and writing workshops, a connection could be made with this author or other writers interested in moving forward with their own projects.

Be ready to write. I am not alone in recommending that you keep a notebook handy (journal). Recently, in the two day "Student Research and Writing Conference" at the University of Puerto Rico, Rio Piedras campus, keynote speaker and author Luis Negrón (Mundo Cruel) emphasized that carrying a notebook to jot down writing ideas is important, "Relying on memory is a mistake because you think you will remember but you will forget!"

4. Feedback

One of the most difficult aspects of writing is locating a trusted reader and receiving feedback. Often, we block feedback from others because we feel our creativity is at stake - not an unreasonable fear. In fact, the wrong kind of criticism can shut down inspiration. The trick is to find someone you can trust and ask for the kind of feedback that might be useful. Reactions about specific writing areas are helpful. Readers questions and asking for clarity on certain meanings might be useful. Seek out readers who understand that you are developing a work, i.e., your writing is evolving. If your reader senses resistance and/or hostility, she may not be willing to read anymore of your work. That fact established, you do not have to make changes or do anything about the comments offered by readers. I rely on my own (flawed at times) judgment when it comes to sensitive revision and editing, but would love to find a reader (who also writes) to share in my process. Author Zadie Smith (White Teeth) recommends that you ".... try to read your own work as a stranger would read it, or even better, as an enemy would." Brave indeed!

5. Routine

Writers who consider writing a priority in their lives make time for it by establishing a routine. But that routine is highly specific to your kind of writer. Virginia Woolf scheduled a three hour morning routine while Maya Angelou stretched herself across the bed and maintained all day writing sessions. Louise Desalvo warns that you may not be able to find blocks of time in which to write. She suggests grabbing snippets of time (equaling three hours) throughout the day in her article, "Why Having Kids is No Excuse."

What matters to a writer is that you write. You continue to write throughout your days, perhaps feeling dissatisfied with your work but you continue. As Virginia Woolf said,

“So long as you write what you wish to write, that is all that matters; and whether it matters for ages or only for hours, nobody can say. But to sacrifice a hair of the head of your vision, a shade of its colour, in deference to some Headmaster with a silver pot in his hand or to some professor with a measuring-rod up his sleeve, is the most abject treachery...” Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own

Give your writing a place in your life. If necessary follow Desalvo's advice, "Call it work, not writing. No one I knows cares if you’re writing. That’s why you have to call it work. Because that’s what it is. Your work. Your life’s work."

Seven Reasons to Write in the Morning

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Mon, 16 Mar 2015 19:01:00 +0000

Oasis Feature ~ Seven Reasons to Write in the Morning

San Juan, Puerto Rico

Do you ever wonder how to develop your creativity so that your writing ideas are fresh and inspired? I am sure that the key to unlocking new ideas is to foster an ongoing relationship with your creative self. You can develop this ability. Decide to be dedicated to your own projects and make them a priority in your life. If your time is constantly compromised because of work demands, family duties and social commitments, be warned. You have to choose to develop contact with yourself first over being on call for everyone else. If you are a people pleaser making this decision is a lot harder than it seems. It forces you to reexamine how your life is organized and insists that you commit to fitting in alone time which is devoted to writing.

As a morning writer, you have to have the same dedication as the surfer in the above photograph. Waking up early, he walks to the water, carries his surfboard and enters the chilly ocean long before an ordinary swimmer feels the need to take a plunge. Every morning, you must write a few pages about anything. It does not matter if you write about nonsense because the initial point is to develop the habit of writing. Over time, your writing content will change. Many writing coaches suggest that it is important to write in the morning; however, over the years of my own writing practice, I know that it provides the perfect way to develop your insight and creativity. When you wake up and write, you gain these and many other benefits.

Seven Reasons to Wake Up and Start Writing

1. Remembering your dreams: When you start a morning writing practice, you are able to remember your dreams better. At first you will likely remember only dream fragments, but later you begin to discover that the more you record, the more you also remember your dreams. Dreams provide you with clues about your life and make visible the creative force of the unconscious.

2. Understanding yourself better: Writing over time allows you to realize who you are and identifies your values. As a consequence, it becomes easier to say no or yes to people without feeling pressured or compromised.

3. Clarifying your intentions: Through the process of writing, you may write about why you made certain life decisions. These written explorations help to strengthen your resolve because you remember how you arrived at these decisions.

4. Discovering hidden motivations: Nothing reveals dishonesty as much as writing a long rationalization about how and why you are right. In fact, the real reasons behind a particular action become clear as you see your words on the page.

5. Knowing what is bothering you: It is so much easier to know the truth about your feelings if you write down some of the disturbing mental noise that bothers you upon waking. Without writing, these worries often accompany you during the day. Often just writing about anxiety lessens it or may even take it away.

6. Improving your life: A regular morning writing practice provides you with a sturdy framework that helps to build self trust and confidence. It enlivens your day with zest and lends purpose to the years.

7. Making ideas real: Dreams and ambitions identify what you desire but writing about them helps you to become proactive. Through regular writing, you are able to move forward and accomplish these life goals.

Finally, I suggest that you extend your morning practice into your day by carrying a notebook and pen with you everywhere. I do not recommend that you use an electronic device because the temptation is too great. You will take out your smartphone to make a note; for example, and before you realize it, you are surfing the net, socializing on Facebook or reading Email. With paper and pen handy, when you have a few spare moments, you can continue writing and exploring the ever-enriching conversation with your creative self.

Happy writing!

CARPE DIEM: MOVIES, MEMOIR and VICARIOUS TRAVEL to ITALY

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 16:49:00 +0000

In the garden, the delphiniums were in flower. Through scented twilight the girl in the white dress walked with a step as light as a cobweb. That evening, she hadn't a care in the world.

Mrs. Delahunty, My House in Umbria

Mrs. Delahunty: I may be dead next month. The moon may have crashed into the earth. Who knows what dreadful things may come to pass? But at the moment, I'm happy. What else matters?

Colonal: Carpe Diem

Mrs. Delahunty: I'm never really sure just what that means.

Colonal: Oh. Seize the day. Embrace the present. Enjoy life while you've got the chance.

Mrs. Delahunty: Carpe Diem. I'll remember that.

My House in Umbria

~~~~~~

Lately, I am aware that I have to do just that, carpe diem, because everything seems to have a feeling of impermanence. Not in a dark somber way but in the way that you feel that something's moving and changing.

I wonder why after you hit a certain age, you wake up with memories of people and places that you haven't thought about in a long time. Often fragments of youth-inspired dreams come back to your mind with a strong force. When I was a teen, I wanted to travel to Europe and it became one of my main goals to tour England, Scotland, Ireland as well as France and Denmark. After much saving, planning and determination, I finally was able to make the unforgettable trip. I think my early obsession with travel was connected to my love of romance novels. Though the love story obsession was left in my teenage years, the enjoyment of other lands and people remained.

I think that's why I love Maggie Smith in My House in Umbria. The film is set in Italy, where she plays the lead character Miss. Emily Delahunty but (as she tells us) her name is not important. In fact, we learn that she has many other nom de plumes and we realize that she actively creates her own fluid identity. She's a writer of romance novels who feels most alive when she's helping others. In one scene, she invites a group of complete strangers to move in with her after a train explosion. Through her engagement with the other characters, we fall in love with her quirky personality. Whenever I want to imagine myself in another life this movie does the trick.

If you can watch My House in Umbria and not yearn to travel to Italy, you are a strong person. If you are having an Italian themed movie night, you might watch Under the Tuscan Sun or go out to see Letters to Juliet. Both of these movies will make you feel as though you have been in Italy or that it's essential for you to go there now!

I have read the memoir, Under the Tuscan Sun (Frances Mayes), and found it to be richly satisfying. I loaned this book to a close friend who found it tedious with detail about the Italian countryside, garden restorations and house renovations. However, I like these details of ordinary life. I like to see how people make decisions and what occupies their time. I'm interested in both real and spruced-up life. (A little magic making fantasy is fine with me.) Another popular book made into film that has an enchanting section on an vacation in Italy is Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir, Eat, Pray, Love. (Julie Roberts plays the author Gilbert in the movie.) There is another saturate-yourself-in-Italy movie that I have already mentioned in previous blogs, Enchanted April, which documents a life transforming month in an Italian Medieval castle. Gorgeous scenery!

In the London Times, a small classified ad appears:

“To those who appreciate Wisteria and Sunshine:

To let for the month of April - a medieval castle on

the Italian Mediterranean shore.”

Photographs and movie review here.

If you want to explore Italy or imagine yourself there in real life, try Rick Steves' link to travel. Now I wonder, which movies you watch (or books do you read) that bring you into lovely romantic Italy? Have I missed any?

Do you hear Italian music...

~~~~

Waking up on the Island of Enchantment that is also know as Puerto Rico, I plan to bake a fragrant pan of vegetarian lasagna, toss a green salad and toast garlic bread.

I promise myself that at every moment I will carpe diem!

On a side note: my struggling gardenia bush finally bloomed after three years of waiting, hoping, and supplementing it with coffee grounds.

I like to believe that this momentous occasion is symbolic, perhaps it's foreshadowing a trip in the near future?

5 Ideas for Your New Year's Resolutions

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Sat, 03 Jan 2015 05:48:00 +0000

Should you make New Year's resolutions? Yes, indeed, but make them with care.

What can be a better time to start fresh than at the beginning of the year? What follows are my own 5 New Year's resolutions. By sharing them, I hope to convince you that you can make progress towards your 2015 resolutions if you frame them in the right way.

1. My resolution for exercise this year is to walk everyday. I plan to walk for 30-60 minutes each day. Since I walk a lot normally, I believe I can do this. If walking is one of your resolutions and you cannot easily locate a place to walk, you would have to modify it. Perhaps you could go to the gym a few days a week. Just be proactive and sensible about exercising more often and give yourself a certain number, such as 4 times for 30 minutes each week.

2. I plan to eat healthier in order to bring my cholesterol levels down. My easy goal is to eat more vegetables at every meal. I know that about half of my plate should be filled with vegetables so I'll work toward that vision. If you have to cut down on fat, you could use olive oil instead of butter or eat meat-free meals two days a week. You can decide how to change your eating habits based on what is possible for you.

3. So far I've mentioned exercise and healthy eating resolutions, now we move on to relationships. I want to be with more people who like me "just as I am." (Do you recall Bridget Jones, anyone?) I know that this means I need to be honest about myself and who I show to the world. Being honest is a brave stance. I admire people who are real in this way. My resolution is to stay true to myself (in words) every day. Tricky. How will I know when I'm being real? (I tend to please others and avoid talking about differences.) For this resolution, I will need reminders such as "Speak your truth!" posted on mirrors, calendars and in other key places. I believe that as I am more honest about my feelings and thoughts, I will connect on more authentic levels with others. Think through your own relationship resolutions so that you know your motives and obstacles, then tailor them into visible, accomplishable behaviors.

4. Write every day. I've had this writing goal for a long while so I know I can do it. Now I need to be more specific about the kind of writing I do every day. This year, I will write three pages related to a specific writing project - the memoir. I know it will be difficult to turn my free daily practice into a focused daily practice but it needs to be done. I'm procrastinating. I've made a writing plan so after my daily practice, I will write these three topic centered pages. Consider a project that you want to begin right away. Make a resolution that works in stages toward its completion.

5. Have more fun! As my final resolution, I want to be more upbeat and change my approach to routines. To accomplish it, I need to identify what behaviors and activities encourage pleasure. I like to laugh. It's a good indicator that I'm having fun. I like to dance and sing, too. I can play more music in the house, at work and while walking. Oh no! With so much music added to my routine, dancing and singing will soon follow! Girls just wanna have fun!

My five resolutions are offered to you as examples of how to create a thinking process to formulate your own New Year's resolutions. If you follow this method, I know that your resolutions will be meaningful, practical and last until New Year's resolution 2016!

On Seeking Home

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Wed, 10 Dec 2014 22:08:00 +0000

Oasis Reflection: Obstacles are a matter of perception...

La Ventana "Windows" Park in Condado. San Juan, Puerto Rico

What is your view?

Recently, I've been reading On Moving: A Writer's Meditation on New Houses, Old Hauts, and Finding Home Again by Louise DeSalvo. the author addresses the topic of "home"and the strong desire people have to choose the perfect home. I started to think about how often people move and how most of us hope that a new location will solve most of our problems.

However, I am sure that we bring our problems with us wherever we go. What I mean is that the cause of our dissatisfaction is often not external, but internal. It's part of our personality and/or is shaped by our attitude. I admit that like DeSalvo, I love to travel. I love to imagine my life in those new unknown places; nevertheless, it's healthy to remember that our disturbances come with us wherever we find ourselves.

What do you see in the photograph above? Do you notice the rock in the center? The water flowing over the rocks to form a small pool of water in the right foreground? Or the deep blue ocean in the distance? Our perspective informs what we allow ourselves to see and experience. The rock can be seen as an obstacle to blocking access to the water or an interesting formation to scale up and over - an opportunity to see the unobstructed ocean from the top. However, what we see remains with us no matter where we go.

I believe that we have to be bravely curious about our obstacles in life and learn from these ever present rocks.

But today, the Rock cries out to us, clearly, forcefully,
Come, you may stand upon my
Back and face your distant destiny,
But seek no haven in my shadow.
I will give you no hiding place down here.

Excerpt from "On the Pulse of Morning" by Maya Angelou

Simon and Garfunkel "I am a rock"
© 2014 Cynthia Pittmann

TOURIST FOR THE DAY in PUERTO RICO

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 19:52:00 +0000

Playing Tourist in Puerto Rico; Oasis goes to El Morro

Good morning and welcome to sunny El Morro. Did you know that Puerto Rico was under the Spanish flag for about 500 years until the United States came 100 years ago? Knowing that bit of information goes a long way in explaining the culture and attitudes of this beautiful island. El Morro was constructed on the protruding parts of the land surrounding the city to protect the island from invaders approaching by the sea, which explains why there is a wall going around much of the Old City (El Viejo San Juan). There is an El Morro in nearby Cuba, too, and it is made in the same style and material.

El Morro in San Juan is actually called Fort San Felipe del Morro but not by anyone on the street. I have a little confession to make; this photograph was taken a bit down the road from El Morro at another fort, Fort San Cristo bal, though most tourists call all of these structures El Morro.

I like this one near the entrance to the road leading up to the Old City because you can walk right into one of the sentries and take a look at the framed sea.

Come inside with me and let's take a look.

There is a mysterious story about one of these sentry boxes in San Cristobal, La Garita del Diablo (the Devil's Sentry). I must caution you that a legend has been circulating that says those who dare visit this most extremely situated and the first constructed lookout (1634) might mysteriously disappear. Though word on the street is that the only real disappearance was of a romantically involved couple who escaped by way of the sea in order to elope (Oh, how dangerously romantic!)

I'm feeling a bit hungry for lunch. Why don't we walk down the road and look for something to eat?

Or maybe first, we could cool off with a piragua? These traditional iced syrups are quite refreshing. Look at the selection on the glass. Spanish and English are respectfully placed side by side. Agua Fria/Cold Water! I think I will have an anise flavored PIRAGUA.

Do you see the large solid block of ice inside the glass cart? The man is shaving it with a special tool, which he uses to scoop up the ice into a cone and then pours flavored syrup all over the top. It's a handmade snowcone! I caution you to avoid the ajonjoli (sesame seed) flavored syrup, except when selecting locally-made candy.

If you're like me, you might find the grainy texture disturbing in your cold piragua. Of course, there are a lot of healthy and calming B vitamins in sesame seeds so it's entirely your decision. The coco (coconut) flavored syrup is quite popular with the local residents.

For lunch, I would like to have a traditional pasteles with rice and beans. Pasteles are made from plantain and sometimes yucca root ground into a paste and filled with a spicy, but not spicy-hot, meat mixture. Unlike Mexican-style food, generally, Puerto Rican's do not enjoy hot peppers. The stuffed masa filling is wrapped in banana leaf, tied with string and boiled for about an hour. It's a tasty meal all by itself but presents a problem for vegetarians. (Be nice!) However, I have found several women who are willing to sell me a dozen garbanzo filled (chick peas), vegetable filled or sometimes soy filled pasteles. To be honest, I usually have to provide the textured vegetable protein meat substitute. If you are in FRESHMART in Condado on Ashford Avenue, you can pick up a half dozen vegetarian pasteles for about ten dollars.

Making pasteles is a grassroots (and underground) business that thrives during the holiday season. Obtaining the best possible pasteles is all about maintaining your local connections.

What meal would be complete without a side of crunchy salty tostones? Tostones are large unripe plantain bananas, sliced thickly and fried of both sides, flattened and fried again until golden (insert cholesterol warning here!). They are served with salt, ketchup, and/or a bit of garlic.

Yum! Warning: these must be eaten fresh or not at all because they can get quite dry and hard. Tourists who eat dried out tostones are often disappointed and left wondering what is all the fuss about?

~~~Make your own! If you make these at home, cut thick slices diagonally, fry in oil for 2-3 minutes on each side. Remove from pan, flatten -I use the bottom of a plate- on a board, and firmly press down. Return the plantain disks to the hot oil. Lightly cook on each side again, remove and place on an absorbent towel. Cook just one large green plantain banana at a time, and serve immediately.

Note: If your plantain's are turning yellow, they do not make tasty tostones. Let them ripen, slice, and gently fry them once on each side in hot oil. These are called amarillos. Also, when looking for plantains in the States, go to Chinese grocery stores and/or look for "macho bananas," which is a most curious name! ~~

For lunch or dinner, I can recommend an atmospheric restaurant in the Old City, Raices (Roots), which is known for its mofongo, which is mashed plantain filled with garlic spiced meat. The servers wear white traditional costumes with headdress, and serve food on old fashioned looking tables, complete with a wood and tin service. Two recommendations here: arrive before you are hungry and bring your credit card because service can be slow and the food pricey. That's okay. Afterall, you are getting a taste of Puerto Rico from the past. Just drink a Pina Colada and enjoy the atmosphere. If you don't want to sit in an air-conditioned space, you can eat at an outside table while listening to Puerto Rican folk music. Street life in Puerto Rico is always entertaining but may be somewhat overwhelming. If you prefer a more authentic experience, you can try Cafe Manolin on 251 San Justo in the Old City. In fact, I prefer the diner feel of Manolin's and enjoy plain mofongo surrounded by a plate of salad. You will notice that many local residents enjoy this restaurant, which serves hearty portions at economical prices.

I should clarify a point here, traditional foods are not special occasion meals. These foods are eaten every day all around the island. Why just this morning, I had freshly made hot tostones with a sprinkle of sea salt crystals and a tiny bit of ketchup. (Plantains are available all year, but in season locally grown freshly cut plantains are of the highest quality and flavor.) Back to the subject of restaurants, Raices servers dressed in costume and rustic tables set with tin cups and wooden dishes are not commonly used anymore - except for festive decorations at various cultural activities. Puerto Ricans have access to many of the same stores as those in the United States; consequently, most people ordinarily wear the same clothes as the US tourists and use "regular" cups and plates. One exception is that sometimes US tourists dress in safari clothes - complete with a hard wide-brimmed hat, a many pocketed vest and tough leather boots. I think these tourists thought that they were going to a jungle! What a surprise it must be to discover that Old San Juan feels like an old European city.

Today, there is a blend of both old and new in foods as well as with all things related to culture. For example, take the traditional El Noche San Juan festival, which is both formally and informally celebrated during the summer solstice, specifically on the birthday of John the Baptists (San Juan/St. John). This wild night combines all things pagan and Catholic into a modern synergistic mix. If you can handle crowds and would love to throw yourself backward into the cleansing surf a few times after midnight, come to any of San Juan's beaches on the night of June 23, throw yourself backwards into the ocean three times, and be blessed with good fortune by Yemayá, the Ocean Mother, or St. John (as you wish).

Another cultural blend is found in reggaetón music, touted as the people's Puerto Rican music. You can sample Daddy Yankee, Bad Bunny and others. (Follow the link to read about Puerto Rican culture and music.)

It's time for our farewell and goodbye.

© Cynthia Pittmann

2014/ Updated 2024

Reflection on Insights Gained from Falling

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Wed, 29 Oct 2014 20:17:00 +0000

Photo credit

I fell into a hole.

It really was just a broken place in the sidewalk but I had a flash of insight, which is why I' m writing about it here. The fall was accompanied by one of those familiar memories of the future where an event seems to be repeated but it's the first time it happens - as in déjà vu. Has this happened before, I questioned. I tried to think of similar experiences of falling. The first memory I thought of happened after moving into a new house in Puerto Rico. I was jogging and following my bliss down a quiet side street

in a romantic dreamy fog when

Photo credit

I noticed a large Victorian house to my right that was set in the middle of a lush green yard filled with slightly overgrown but cultivated plants. (It looked like this photo of a sub-tropical Victorian home in Springfield, Georgia.) Still thinking about the possible residents of this romantic looking home, my senses were jarred by the view of a new condominium building project. Reflecting about the possible demolition of the aging house, I was suddenly shin deep in a small metal encased hole in the sidewalk. I was cut and a bit in shock. I realized that the accident happened because someone did not replace a cover over a water meter. At first, I was angry because of the missing cover, but then I wondered why I didn't see the hole right in front of me. I felt uneasy as I remembered that when I was younger, I was often told that

I had my head in the clouds. I was a daydreamer.

Keep your eyes on the road! (photo credit)

Once while driving on the scenic panoramic route on California's coastal highway (California State Route 1), I was so captivated and excited by the view that I nearly drove off the cliff. Talk about entering the moment! So I remember that time of falling into the hole and wondered if I was daydreaming. I keep thinking of Alice and her adventures while she was falling into a hole. I'm showing myself in my own looking glass by observing the way I react.

Thinking now, I remember that I had sprained my ankle exactly twice in my life, and both times I had to be rushed to the emergency room. The first incident happened because I was riding on the butterfly handlebars of a new pink Schwinn bike that my younger brother was steering. (I was twelve.) I was thrilled with the fun loving ride until my foot caught up in the spokes of the front wheel. The second time occurred at the same age. I was when I was sitting on the wheel cover of a tractor driven by my father and my foot slipped into the wheel. In both incidents, I remember the face of the driver, my brother and my dad, looking pained and guilty, which may have contributed to my profound hurt at being wounded. I felt seriously sorry for myself both times. I have an insight as I realize that I want someone else to be guilty and sorry when I am hurt.

The incident of falling into an uncapped-water-meter hole on the sidewalk repeatedly returns to my mind because I notice that I'm looking for someone to blame.

Years ago when I moved to Puerto Rico, I complained to my director about the parking problem at work. I am a bit ashamed to admit to it now but I was overly critical. It bothered me that people would park their cars everywhere and sometimes double park so that I could not leave. In busy times, cars were parked on the sidewalks or drivers would create a middle parking lane behind the legally parked vehicles, which made it impossible for them to leave because they arrived early enough to park their car in an assigned space. My director listened to my explanation about being late to class because I was blocked in and she said, "Yes, this is a small island and parking is competitive." Was I supposed to infer that people didn't have a choice but to break the rules? My angry reaction to illegal parking occurred many years ago. I've learned that rules are flexible and subject to interpretation by the drivers.

The most recent time I fell into a hole, I realized my orientation had changed. I no longer took it for granted that the sidewalk ahead would be evenly paved over. I accepted that I needed to look out for myself in this life. I know I cannot prevent every falling incident (read mistake) from occurring but I noticed that I have accepted responsibility for my own well being rather than blaming others. I realized that thinking or focusing on someone's behavior (rather than my own) resulted in my victimization. I have to pay attention in life.

Living in Puerto Rico (where my expectations are frequently challenged) has taught me to pay attention. I'm grateful for this experience.

LEARNING TO TRUST

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Fri, 10 Oct 2014 19:45:00 +0000

Reflection on Trust During Troubled Times

David: Why do people do such terrible things?
Sophie: Like what?
David: Like beat people, and kill them, and make them prisoners.
Sophie: Most people don’t do that, David.
David: My friend Johannes always used to tell me, "Trust no one."
Sophie: Oh, life wouldn’t be worth living if you did that, David. You can be cautious, but you have to let people in.
David: How do you know if they’re bad or not?
Sophie: David, most people are good. They have families and friends, and they just want to live their lives as happily as they can. Oh there will always be bad people in this world and you will usually know them when you meet them, but sometimes you won’t. But you can’t let that stop you from living your life fully and freely. And making friends and seeing the goodness in people because if you can’t do that you will never find any happiness.

I am David (film)

Do you ever wonder how you can trust again after a difficult experience? I admit that I struggle with this one. Sometimes I think I'm a bit like the 12 year old David in the quote above. He was taken by himself to a Bulgarian concentration camp when he was young because of his family's political beliefs. Growing up away from his family in a lackluster environment surrounded by guards who are quick to administer punishment changes the way he interacts with people. He forgets how to smile. When unexpectedly he is given a chance to escape, he sets off on a journey across Europe to Denmark carrying important secret papers which later turn out to be his personal identification and the information needed to reunite him with his mother.

The story is compelling, but it is his interaction with Sophie, the Swiss woman who helps him to get in touch with his mother that is the most moving. She is played by Joan Plowright, a favorite English actress who plays a similar role, Mary who takes care of Luca Innocenti, in Tea with Mussolini. Both Sophie and Mary are exactly the kind of people I admire. In both of these roles, we meet creative, self-sufficient yet engaged with others woman; these women are not afraid to reach out when help is needed. Admittedly, I like Joan Plowright best in Enchanted April, where she plays Mrs. Fisher, a woman whose feelings have contracted so much that she has lost the ability to feel compassion for others, but then her time in Italy thaws the her heart and she realizes the importance of yielding to creative impulses and allowing connection with others. (photos from Facebook fan page)

Why am I pulled toward this type of character? I think I have to continually learn the trust lesson. I imagine myself sitting down and discussing life over a cup of Earl Grey tea with a wise woman like Sophie. If I let my imagination go further, I can envision that I might be a woman like Sophie in the future...and maybe a little now. However, at the moment, I'm feeling more like David-cut off and fighting with my own emotional demons- I'm particularly battling with trust issues.

Perhaps you know that my own mother was murdered by a neighbor. (I have told the story before-just click the link.) I don't know if you realize how perplexing it is to that young person who resides inside me -ever an innocenti- she who cannot comprehend how someone familiar and well-known-a lifelong neighbor- could do something so cruel.

You read about people- this past weekend in Puerto Rico, for example- who kill their own spouse or family, and then turn the gun back on themselves. It seems like such a foreign experience. You never think you will have to confront that type of situation with anyone you personally know.

I have never been able to connect the act of murder with the known person who was my neighbor.

Factually, I know he did it. I've looked at him in photographs and in court but it never made sense to me. I think about his behavior more as a symptom of society's sickness and lack of tolerance for difference. I have to make myself remember that it was his hand that pulled the trigger.

It was Jim Brooks who killed my mother and her partner, Christine.

No, even after writing that statement, it still feels remote.

While viewing I am David, I allow myself to feel upset. After the movie, I watch an episode of Friends and found it extremely amusing. I laughed out loud. I felt freer somehow and more open to all emotions. I know it is important to feel. I also know that trying not to feel leads to depression. Did you know that when you have trouble, it often acts like a trigger for a cluster of repressed feelings, and there are some things that you just don't want to remember. Noticing myself going through this emotional roller coaster made me realize that I need to remember to feel and allow myself to trust people again.

Sophie is right:

"...there will always be bad people in this world and you will usually know them when you meet them, but sometimes you won’t. But you can’t let that stop you from living your life fully and freely. And making friends and seeing the goodness in people because if you can’t do that you will never find any happiness."

I'll take that wise woman's advice!

(Note: OWL)

Writers Notebook: Remembering Dreams

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Sat, 27 Sep 2014 19:42:00 +0000

Remembering Dreams

Do you ever wonder how you can remember dreams? Lately, I've been reading Carl Jung's Memories, Dreams, Reflections and attempting to record my dreams every morning. If I can remember my dreams, I will have a view of the hidden me. I want to look into the parts of my personality that I hide from myself - risky business! I consider myself honest about my motives and practice self-witnessing. Maybe that sounds strange but those of you who are in some kind of meditation practice know that witnessing your thoughts and actions (without judging) can yield a tremendous amount of information about yourself. I am looking to find a creative energy source that will bring my writing alive with vitality. I've discovered other techniques to wake up the muse but I would like a more reliable routine that keeps me in touch with my imagination.

The goal is to wake up everyday, notice what in floating around in my mind and then immediately write down everything in my mind - take a "mental picture" as it were. Words, thoughts, images, sensations, songs and so on. I have discovered that I must notice my thoughts before I move from the bed. I cannot allow myself to talk or engage in any preliminary activity before I write or else I lose the thoughts. Some days I'm successful while others (like today) I get caught up in washing dishes, making coffee, preparing for the day and before I know it - the dreams are gone! What did I dream last night? What influenced my subconscious? Blank! My mind is unable to remember my dreams because I had too many intervening thoughts before I recorded my dreams such as - why hasn't anyone done the dishes in two days! It's a good thing I didn't cook dinner last night or else there would be more dishes. How can I get cooperation about cleaning the house? And then my mind goes analytical - Why are we so stuck in these social gender roles that I'm the one who breaks down and does the dishes first? It's enough to wipe out anyone's morning dreams! My thoughts are a giant eraser rubbing out the lightest dream pencil marks first but today, the entire page was all gone.

Mental palaver! Jung uses that word as in to arrange a palaver to mean conversations he has with the Africans at night. He wants to know if they have dreams and if they provide some kind of insight into their daily lives. He attributes their resistance to sharing their dreams with him as evidence of a lack of trust or "shyness." Jung even offered rewards - cigarettes, matches, and safety pins for sharing dreams but they wouldn't budge. I'm thinking that maybe they didn't remember their dreams because of too much palaver! I have been recording by dreams every morning for two weeks - let's see if some pattern emerges. I have a safety pin in my pocket for good luck. Do you have any dream wisdom to offer? How do you remember your dreams?

(Also posted in Writers Rising)

Writer's Notebook: 5 Strategies to Improve Your Mood

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Tue, 16 Sep 2014 16:02:00 +0000

Oasis Feature: Writer's Notebook (and we are all writers!) Is it a cloudy day in your emotional life? Do you have the blues?

If so, I recommend these "5 Strategies to Improve Your Mood."

I'm working on writing my mother's story. Those of you who have been following Oasis Writing Link™ know that she was murdered in a hate crime many years ago. I believe this story is worth telling and yet, it is difficult to revisit the memories without holding on to the sadness. In fact, it's not only writing about her but also, I seem to become moody when her birthday approaches. Even Halloween symbols bring about strong memories of our life together because she was born on October 31st. I've decided that this is the year that I will tell this story. It's time to move forward, which is why I need a plan to perk myself up after I write.

These following tips can be used whenever you want to break your own downward spiral after an intensely emotional writing experience.

1. Turn on fun upbeat music! Do you remember "Popcorn" (see video below)? That's the kind of playful atmosphere you want to create for yourself in order to transition out of a blue mood.
2. Move! Go outside for a quick walk. It's possible any other exercise could break the mood cycle but moving in nature, noticing how your feet contact the earth, feeling the sun and wind on your face is a great way way to change your perspective.
3. Stop and contemplate a leaf, flower, tree, cloud. Look deeply but softly at the shape, texture, uniqueness of each beautiful aspect of nature. Remember that you share this unique beauty. Ponder on the life coursing through your veins and appreciate your own beauty-essence as you absorb nature's beauty.
4. Breathe in joy as you appreciate all that is life. As you deeply inhale joy, exhale any residue of disturbance that may be inside you without any sense of rejection. You are accepting yourself and all that is animating this world.
5.Make a JOY Plan. Decide to do something energizing in the near future, with the intention to create optimism. Encourage yourself and cultivate a happy hopeful disposition. Be imaginative. Do you want to go on a last minute cruise? Can you make a self-care appointment such as a facial, hair treatment or a mani-pedi for this weekend? Do you want to see a loved one? If so, then plan a visit where you share a special meal, picnic or visit a favorite restaurant together. Remember to nurture yourself and keep it fun!

These ideas are not intended as avoidance strategies. If you have a genuine problem that needs resolved, I encourage you to seek advice or therapy from a professional counselor. My hope for you is that these five tips will provide you with a readily available mood shifting strategy.

Inspired to Change

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 19:37:00 +0000

I’m organizing people, tasks, plans
at work and in my dreams. I’m
living my work life twice,
once awake and once asleep.
Let me out!

Walking down the street,
I’m shucked as new corn –
Exposed, raw, open.
It’s New York City in the fall
Curtains blown through -
caught, held, pinned.
(Muse refuse?)

Outside the box
walking through Washington
Square in clear air
Green corners filled out
In secret places
rendezvous and parlez-vous
“Bonjour mes amies!”

Feeling life, living, alive
Holding together, letting go
Convex, concave
light and loose …
willpower?
– it’s now or never.

A Visit From Tropical Storm Bertha

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Sun, 03 Aug 2014 03:19:00 +0000

Batten down the hatches!? People are stocking up on crackers, water and batteries but so far the storm is not bad here in a Puerto Rico. Still everyone is "en casa" waiting. A few of us are outside, after all Beni needs his walk. Mangos are dropping like rocks in anticipation of an avalanche. A lady from the Dominican Republic wearing a knee length skirt and holding an tiger printed umbrella is collecting fallen mangos in a plastic bag. I hand her one that's fallen hard at my feet, call Beni, leap over newly forming streams and run into the corner building. It's a storm, and the streets are flooding but so far we're just fine.

Mellow Yellow Gratitude

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 16:08:00 +0000

Oasis Reflection

"The moment your judgement stops

through acceptance of what is,

you are free of the mind.

You have made room

for love,

for joy,

for peace."

The Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

The sun is shining this morning in San

Juan, Puerto Rico. As the breeze gently

catches the ocean mist, I'm reminded of

the goodness in this life. It's so easy

to forget to notice the beauty that

surrounds us everyday but today I am reminded to accept:

I'm lucky! I'm so fortunate to live here on

this beautiful island. I appreciate my

friends and family all across the States

and Puerto Rico who welcome me into

their homes and make room for me in

their lives. It's good to know my health,

if not perfect is good ! (I've done my

summer routine checkups and I'm fine.)

I'm looking forward to little pleasure, for example,

soon we will have bikes to ride around the

town and to the beach! My girl is coming

home for a couple of weeks! Oh, yes, I'm happy

indeed!

In our ordinary moments, we can let

go and just be in this moment and

experience it without any changes.

It's lunch time now. My simple pasta is

warm and sprinkled with freshly cubed

tomatoes. Soft and sweet peaches,

freshly sliced, await. No, I think I'll try a

bit of fruit right now with the pasta. Why not?!

I'm moving along at an even pace at

home and at work...look for this, look for

that ...it's a mellow yellow kind of day.

I hope your day is brightly imbued

with radiant joy.

MUSIC NOTES:

They call me mellow yellow
(Quite rightly)
They call me mellow yellow
(Quite rightly)
They call me mellow yellow

Some comments by Donovan about the lyrics and his inspiration:

"In an interview with the June 18, 2011 edition of the NME, Donovan was asked what the song was actually about? He replied: "Quite a few things. Being mellow, laid-back, chilled out. 'They call me Mellow Yellow, I'm the guy who can calm you down.' Lennon and I used to look in the back of newspapers and pull out funny things and they'd end up in songs. So it's about being cool, laid-back, and also the electrical bananas that were appearing on the scene - which were ladies vibrators." (What!? These are the songwriter's risqué words! haha)

Summer Arrives in Puerto Rico

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Sat, 07 Jun 2014 17:27:00 +0000

A Visit to the Blue Hole

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Tue, 27 May 2014 21:25:00 +0000

I haven't seen my brother in 20 years.

In the wake of Mom's unexpected death, he moved to the mountains in Tennessee and I moved to the island of Puerto Rico. It's common to look for peace and new surroundings when tragedy suddenly strikes. Nevertheless, the closeness you feel as siblings never goes away. It's so good to reconnect with my brother Richard!

We walked to the Blue Hole and I couldn't resist going in! Soon I convinced him to come in too!

It's not so cold!! (I lied!) he looked at me in the water and decided to show me how it's done.

"Are you going to jump!? I exclaim. He tells me, "That's the only way."

Sibling rivalry? He wins - hands down!

Now Patrick the General decides it's time to join the party! It's his first swim ever!!

Poor baby! The water is so cold! Better get him out, now!

Life can be so hard. We have to make the most of the good times.

Jump right in and live!!

Full Moon Viewed on High

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Sat, 17 May 2014 05:43:00 +0000

View of the full moon from an airplane. Radiating and reflecting light...

Dear Mom

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Mon, 05 May 2014 16:00:00 +0000

For Susan Pittmann who died a violent death by an angry and bitter man on this day 22 years ago:

Dear Mom,

I like to think of you as happy with all of your children and grandchildren nearby.

You must know that you indeed have lived a successful life - though brief, you made every day meaningful!

You taught me how to love unconditionally and focus on the good in people.

Your memory is a great comfort to me.

I celebrate your life more and more every day!

Your loving daughter,

Cynthia ❤️

"To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded."

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

Traveling Today through JFK

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Sat, 03 May 2014 11:36:00 +0000

I'm hearing the soft rhythm of Sade playing in the background while drinking large gulps of American style coffee and sitting at a clean table on a cushioned chair using free wifi and an iPad set up for public use. Where am I? A coffee house?

No! I'm at the JFK airport in New York.

What happened to travel in the last few years? The last time I was in this airport on a family trip, the plane was delayed, we had lost our connection, and it was dreadfully uncomfortable. We waited for hours cold, hungry, tired and trying to sleep on the floor with fifty other waylaid travelers caught in route like flies in this crafty spider web of concourses, terminals and shuttles. Victims at the mercy of impatient airline officials and over zealous security agents, e.g.

"Where are you going and to what purpose?"

"Home"

"What are you transporting in that red jar?

"It's homemade cherry preserves?!" (There they go into the trash!)

I felt like running to the nearest exit, "I'm unsat! I'm unsat!" For those of you who don't know, that's military jargon for "unsatisfactory" but it's equivalent now would be "that's a fail." Only the panic feeling of "I'm unsat" is more to the point. I felt guilty and afraid that I would get caught. But what had I done? The general atmosphere after 9/11 was intense, we were all guilty until proven innocent. I stayed away for a good while. I stopped traveling north.

Today, I'm mystified by the contrast of my memory with the current reality. Is this the same nightmare airport where more than once, I've been caught midstream on my way to somewhere.

I'm not complaining about the comfortable wait, I'm just taking it all in and feeling more and more delighted by the moment! Times have changed while I've been sipping a cool drink by the ocean on the beautiful island of Puerto Rico - oh yes, they keep changing by the moment! I'm pleasantly surprised that this change is good; in fact, it's brilliant!

Under the Umbrella

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Pittmann) — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 16:35:00 +0000

Photoshoot: Mini-break staycation #1

Under the Umbrella