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Oh my god. She is so fucking frustrating to have a sort of argument with like holy fuck. She...

Sun, 08 May 2016 00:51:24 -0400

Oh my god. She is so fucking frustrating to have a sort of argument with like holy fuck. She literally does not listen to a fucking word that I say and makes me repeat myself constantly. And then when I say at the end lets just stop im getting pissed off, she literally ignores that and like two seconds later is saying that I need to let things go. Like I just said stop.
It becomes a fight not even about what we are talking about but literally about the nature of the fight.
Its literally the same thing that happened when I would get into arguments with my mom and I have such a sort fuse for it

I’m so unhappy. I’m digusted with myself, I hate being around my roommate she only serves as a...

Tue, 03 May 2016 21:47:19 -0400

I’m so unhappy. I’m digusted with myself, I hate being around my roommate she only serves as a reminder of how miserable I am. And then as a result I lash out and hate myself even more because I know I’m being a bitch and it isn’t fair. I’m trying to get it with a therapist but I’m starting to get scared I won’t make it in time, I really really want to be done. I want to kill myself. I just can’t do all of this again. It’s exhausting and it’s hurts and I’m miserable. I don’t see a turning point. I think it’s only going to get worse. And in turn worse for everyone around me because apparently suffering in silence is not my fortay

I’m so frustrated because I’ve become involved in this completely bullshit conflict that...

Tue, 02 Feb 2016 01:28:58 -0500

I’m so frustrated because I’ve become involved in this completely bullshit conflict that is some unessecary junior high drama. And like all I want form the girl is a god damn apology for blaming me for shit but she won’t even own that she did it much less apologize for it. And it’s just proving to me what a piece of shit friend she is because she has no respect or care for me. Like I just want her to acknowledge that her behaviour affecting me negatively and that’s she’s sorry but I won’t get it. And now I’m crying and feel like shit out of sheer frustration and I just want it all done. I haven’t dealt with this shit since junior high and I am not prepared to start now. I just don’t have the energy

Resolutions

Sat, 02 Jan 2016 00:14:17 -0500

So I definitely started this new year on a rather slow note and that is inspired me to push for a few changes
1. Get a life outside of work and school, I’m seriously losing my mind and being tired can’t be an excuse
2. Push to meet and gain people who will be positive aspects of your life
3. Explore more, find a small nook of the world that can be yours
4. Try to be open to new things
5. Push yourself artistically
6. Gain better toleration of your roommates boyfriend, I need to learn that sometimes I should just shut the hell up.
7. GO TO SHOWS FOR FUCKS SAKE. THEATRE, MUSIC literally anything

I’m a miserable excuse for a human being

Wed, 30 Dec 2015 18:14:09 -0500

I’m a miserable excuse for a human being

Got to love feeling physically repulsed at the thought of being around even your roommate and not...

Thu, 17 Dec 2015 16:06:29 -0500

Got to love feeling physically repulsed at the thought of being around even your roommate and not knowing how to tell them to get out of your bed or you may just claw all your skin off. I am the worst

Sometimes me and my roommate forget to make dinner and everyone shows concern that she hasn’t...

Thu, 26 Nov 2015 00:00:24 -0500

Sometimes me and my roommate forget to make dinner and everyone shows concern that she hasn’t eaten but no ones seems to bat an eye if I haven’t. I can’t help but feel like it’s because they either think I can certainly get away with missing a meal or two or because they just don’t really care about me.
Rationally I know it isn’t true but I can’t really help but think it