Noobies VÜ

New Year, New Outlook?

2012-01-02T10:50:00.001-08:00

Welcome 2012!
TL;DR version: I don't make resolutions, blah blah blah but I'm gonna try to accept who I am and quit comparing myself to others.

I am not a big New Year's resolutions type of person but I think it would still be a good idea to reassess what's going on in my life. New Years is just a convenient date to do so.
I am grateful for New Year's Eve as that I got to ring in the new year with some good friends. I think that's a good thing. Sure I wish there were some other people there that I don't get to see, but I need to be more grateful for what I have as opposed to being bitter about what I don't. But isn't that the rub?
It is so much easier to lament the things we wish we had and envy those people that have them. I have always had a bad habit of judging myself based on those around me, to my detriment. I do try to stop those insipid thoughts that creep in and try to undermine what little confidence I do have but it is usually easier said than done.
So this year I am not making a resolution, I am just trying to be more aware and thankful for what I do have and to enjoy it while I have it. Not bring myself down when I wish I had more. I think I'm at peace with my solitude. Sure it would be nice to have that "significant" other but I am really just happy knowing that I have a bunch of friends that I can spend time with that I don't ever really have to worry about having a bad falling out with and losing that connection as they decide that they want nothing more to do with me.
But what of this society? Am I not just a result of what we are taught to expect? That sense of entitlement that we develop as Americans and as someone who identifies as gay?
As Americans we seem to think that we are better than people in other countries (though perhaps all countries have this arrogance?). As a gay person I am horribly aware of what the "gay male ideal" is and I know I am not, nor will I ever be, it.
These things cause me pause. I wonder why I am not extraordinary and I wonder why I was dealt the cards I hold. I am only now accepting the fact that there are things I can change and things I shouldn't even worry about changing. The problem is accepting the way things are so I don't have to go through the thought process of having to accept I can't change it. To me those are different things. There is a difference between accepting who we are, and accepting we can't change it. The former is an acceptance of the status quo, of accepting our uniqueness. The latter is trying to change it and finally accepting you cannot. You're accepting your failure as opposed to your success. We each need to be the best that we are able to be, without judgement or frustration. Other people judge us just fine and we don't need to be our "own worst enemy". This is my goal.
The folly of youth is the belief that the "now" is what is most important at the cost to "soon" or "in time".
I think we should all live in the moment, but we still need to be mindful of the future and what it has in store for us. Sure it's easy to figure that we'll face something when it happens. To me living in the moment is more about being thankful for what you have and enjoying everything around you. It's quite another to sacrifice what can be for what is. Cramming your foot into 6 inch stilettos because they make your legs look so great at 22 but then at 52 being unable to walk because of the damage those $700 Louboutins did to your feet. Or the insistence in tanning because you don't "look as good pale" and then dealing with the skin cancer at 40 or even younger.
Would I have this opinion if I was able to tan? Would I have continued with the sun worship if I could attain that "golden healthy glow"? I don't know in honesty. Just like I don't know the path my life would have taken had I moved to Phoenix or San Diego or West Hollywood instead of staying in Southern Utah. I just know that you really do reap what you sow. I've had an eyelid replaced thanks to skin cancer and I go through life every day noticing spots on my skin with a different texture than the skin around it and worry that it might also be skin cancer. But sharing these experiences with others means jack shit.
As much as I like to think that the "it gets better" movement is making a difference, each person has their own shit and their own demons that they have to face and, no matter what, no one can save them from them but themselves. But the nice thing with this type of movement... it proves that, though they may not be the exact same demons, people have been through similar trials and came out on the other side, not unscathed perhaps, most likely changed, but alive and kicking, which is much better than the alternative. The problem with this movement is it deals with the young. And as I've learned, the "young" will always stay young. They cannot see past their immediate future and their current situation. They think they can on certain levels, but when it comes to their gestalt and their very being, they cannot. Sure, we can plan for a future of owning a home or having a family or getting an education or a career. But when it comes to our mortality, or the repercussions of our actions in the moment... those things we are blind to in our youth. And those trappings fall away when we move away from our "youth" and move into our maturity. For each person that is a different time. And I think for each person there is an element of regret and a yearning to return to what was or a desire to change the decisions that we made. Some people refer to it as the "arrogance of youth" and I think that might be fair. But I think it might also be the ignorance of youth. That inability to understand mortality. Not just in existence, but in how we exist. Ask the fellow in the wheelchair how he feels after that split second decision to see just how fast he can take his bullet bike on a stretch of road. He still exists, he is still there, but he is fundamentally a different person so in essence he doesn't exist. He ceased to exist in his original form the moment his body hit the pavement.
Now it's not just the young that do these things. I have made plenty of decisions that in retrospect I should have known better. But I am definitely more aware of the choices I make now then I was at 20. Sometimes I worry about that, because I think I am not allowing myself to live out loud or to live completely because I might be hamstrung by something that "might happen" as opposed to what "will happen". But this doesn't preclude the idea that there are things we should be aware of and things we can do that will ensure we will have the opportunity to live long and well.
No regrets. I wish that were as easy to put into action as it is to type. I don't think for a moment that it is possible to live fully without regret. But I do think we can mitigate that regret. That is ultimately what I am hoping to do this year. To not judge myself based on other people and as a result regret only the things I didn't do as opposed to the things I did. I will take more chances, I will work on becoming who I want to be. But I'll do it for me, not for my perceived idea of how other people will experience it. I won't try to become more fit out of the idea that by doing so I will be more attractive to others. I will do it so I don't feel tired when I vacuum my damn floor, or move furniture around or just move through this world. In essence, I'll do it for me as opposed to "them", that invisible audience we all carry around in our heads.
So, going forward I am going to see where this road takes me and see what the future has in store for me and I will accept it and me for what it is and do my best in forming it in a fashion that makes me happy. I will not compare my home, or my life or myself on others' and just focus on being the best "me" I can.
Fingers crossed.

I Gots Gutters

2011-12-07T08:55:00.001-08:00

On this never ending quest of getting my house where it should be (IMHO) I got one step closer to the non-end.
Gutters! This ~~hovel~~ house is over 20 years old and none of the previous owners put on gutters! What. The. Hell? It doesn't make much sense to me the amount of corner cutting. I can be a ~~lazy bastard~~ corner cutter on some things, but on structural and energy efficiency I do my best not to. Now gutters are neither structural or energy efficient but they help keep water off the house. In the first year I lived in the house we had a BBQ out front against the wall. We had some pretty intense rain and it hit that BBQ and soaked the wall behind it. That wall was to the pantry and I could actually see that the wall was wet from inside. Even with the BBQ gone if the rain came from the north that wall would get a bit wet. It didn't get soaked through by any means but it just wasn't something I liked.
I checked out getting the materials myself and thought it would be a pretty easy little project that I could ~~not possibly screw up~~ do with few problems. On a whim I decided to price out the job with a contractor. Surprise surprise! It turned out the contractor was able to do the whole job for $30 cheaper than I could just get the materials for. To make it even better I didn't have to go through the whole speaking in tongues/throwing the hammer/drill in frustration part of the mod. Me likes that.
The only problem I had was that the guy I contracted with, though easy to talk to, had issues with his email and wasn't the best at returning calls. Took almost a week to get things sorted out. His crew also had a language barrier. Maybe it's just me, but I think it is useful to be able to communicate with people who are working on your house. Other than that, I think it worked out and I like the look of the gutters. It's not like I expected them to transform the house by any means, but I am still pretty satisfied with how it all looks.
As a result of getting the gutters done I actually ~~got off my ass~~ painted my trim a much darker color and I love it! Next up: rain chains and urn thingys.
Pics below, of course click to embiggen

with the old trim color, ick.

new trim color, "Stealth Jet"

with the gutters bad pic will replace tomorrow

Window Seats!

2011-12-05T13:38:00.001-08:00

If you are a regular follower of this blog then you are familiar with the continuing saga of my "improvements" around my house.

One of the things that has bothered me is the lack of storage. It's a good sized house and the rooms are somewhat large, but not in the right areas.I have been wanting to do something with the sunroom for some time now and I knew with as shallow as the room is (couldn't even put a standard sized couch along the wall) I was going to have some problems arranging furniture. I thought about putting in mirrors and a barre and make it a ballet rehearsal room but when I went from a plie into a tendu I kicked the wall. sigh I didn't want to simply put in a couch or loveseat and lose any chance of having some kind of storage. Plus the windows are quite high in that room and it's nice to have the light and it will give a phenomenal view of my carefully cultivated weeds. So it seemed to me that some built-in window seats would be the best solution. So someday (never) I had hoped on doing some work on the room. Well someday arrived.

Roomie announced she is going to throw a birthday shindig and I have been wanting to make my sunroom more of an entertainment space (I have put in a ~~crap~~ small bar I found and installed shelves on the wall behind it) so this weekend sounded like an opportune time to see if I could throw together a ~~cheap ass~~ inexpensive set of window seats.

I elected to make an L shaped window seat with the short section going along the plain wall and the longer going beneath the windows. I went to Home Depot with a simple plan in mind and priced out about $100 worth of wood and materials- not including the cushions. ~~oh my god!~~ Yikes.

My Jeep isn't the best for hauling lumber of any significant dimensions ~~but it gets me tons of action, uh huh dream on~~ so I was gonna wait and see if Roomie would be able to help me get some stuff to the house later. Her jeep is mucho larger with a nice fold down rear seat for ~~illicit sex~~ hauling things. As luck would have it I ran to ReStore and located some ~~hideous~~ old bifold doors and sliding closet doors. Around 24" x 79" and 30" x79". I realized that this could make the front and tops for the boxes of the seats. All I would need otherwise is the rear frame. $24 later I had the basis for my seats.

My good friend Shane was able to help me get the doors back to my house (THANKS! I was not looking forward to packing those bitches on my back.) and I started mocking ~~people~~ up. The only downer was I over-estimated the strength of the doors when ~~my fat ass sat on them~~ pressure was put on them. Those types of doors are hollow core and the skin is very thin; they aren't exactly meant to hold a bunch of weight on the face (shut up), though when used other than designed they are very effective at mocking one's physical dimensions. Thus I learned quickly that they would likely dimple and ultimately dent over time, if not relatively quickly. I remembered that I had inherited some 1/4" oak sheets when I bought the house ~~along with a ridiculous to heat and cool floor plan and an hvac and ducting system that makes hvac guys laugh out loud as well as an upstairs bathroom that dwarfs would have a hard time using~~ and realized I could face the doors with them and vastly improve their weight capacity. I learned that the seats were going to be a bit taller than I expected, being a combined 26" in height (24" for the height of the door on edge + the depth of the door used for a lid) which make the seats quite tall, but I was okay with that as it allowed for tons of storage beneath ~~and hours of entertainment when Constance tried to use them as well as a place to shackle cute guys that I abduct~~.

I ran to Home Depot and grabbed 6 8' 2x4s and ~~sustained multiple splinters~~ carefully put together the back supports. With Jason's assistance I ~~crookedly mangled~~ cut the oak, 2x4s, and the doors and then screwed everything up together.

I'm happy to say the oak seems to have done the trick and they easily held our weight without any kind of dimpling or caving. woo hoo.

I figured I could use another 2x4 ~~and splinters~~ and I wanted Connie to check out some foam for sale at Home Depot so we made another trip. Came back home with more wood and some foam for cushions.

The cost thus far for the seats, $24 for the doors, $21 for HD run #1 ($12 for wood + $7 for nails and $2 for brads I never even frickin used since I forgot I had a damn brad gun) and $44 for HD run #2 ($20 each for the foam + $2 for the 2x4) = $89. The most expensive portion so far being the foam. I still have to locate some fabric and make some covers. Then I'll want to get ~~raped for~~ some throw pillows.

But I think it's turned out ~~looking like a spastic monkey with bladder control made them~~ really well and I am digging all the storage ~~for boys~~! Most of the ~~shit~~ stuff that was stored in the room ~~cluttering it up~~ is still in the room just nicely out of the way. :o)

If nothing else the spiders should be happy for a new home.

Pics below 9click to embiggen)


Yeah that bastard in the middle, yeah it gave me the splinters. Hate it with me.

The full Monty, need to cover the foam.

Oh and you ~~buttholes~~ people that notice that the end is not covered I'm getting to it. Sheesh.

Leaf me the Hell Alone Old Man

2011-12-03T14:16:00.000-08:00

Well, I learned that neighbors can be neglectful ~~bastards~~.

The old guy who lives across the street, I call him Ray since that's what he told me his name was, is well, old. He also seems to be ~~a lazy damn ass~~ unable to do some of the more physical things necessary to keep his ~~damn~~ yard clean of all the leaves that have fallen off his trees.

Well he needn't worry any more! All those ~~fricken~~ glorious leaves are now in my mostly treeless yard.

Great. Awesome. Thanks so much man.

The irony is, I thought about going next door and see if I could help him prior to the ~~tornado~~ small windstorm we had this past weekend. But I ~~am also a lazy son of a bitch~~ wasn't sure if he was even home since ~~I couldn't be bothered to knock and see~~ he's got multiple cars and you just never know which one he's driving currently.

Well har har on me. The wind blew every damn one of those leaves into my yard, I think he even moved his car off the street since it apparently blocked some of them from migrating. Those leaves also found their way to my yard by day's end.

So I am stuck with a bunch of leaves now. So, I went out and bought a leaf blower and it is my dream to blow them all back onto his damn yard. But ~~since I am a sissy bitch~~ I will probably just vacuum them up (That's right, it has a vacuum and mulch setting!) and bag them. It may be possible ~~definitely~~ that I just love toys and this gave me a reason to buy a new one to play with.

So I will take care of those pesky leaves without a complaint ~~yeah right, this whole post is one big complaint~~ to him and try to be a good neighbor.

Though, I did see him today with a leaf blower of his own and I have a sneaky suspicion that he is helping nature along and blowing the last leaves that finally fell into my yard to join the others. If this is so, I may just ~~shove~~ use my new blower and blow the leaves ~~up his raggedy old ass~~ back into his damn yard after all.

Click to embiggen

Note my lack of trees. Thanks ~~ass~~ Ray

Drummer no more?

2011-10-24T16:59:00.000-07:00

It was a saddish Saturday this past weekend. I say saddish, because though I had been stressing out for a few days after I received the offer to purchase my drums (Honestly, I had put them on Craigslist assuming I wouldn't actually sell. I had simply assumed that by actually listing them I was making attempts at cleaning out the clutter of my house.) in the end it wasn't so bad. Beyond that stressing, once they were packed up and sent on their way, I felt only the slightest tug and sense of loss. It could be because I had dealt with it during the days prior, which I am wont to do.

I didn't sell my drums because I no longer want to play, I sold them because I didn't really have a place to put them and I was self-conscious the few times I pounded on them. When I grew up in Beryl Jct our nearest neighbor was at least a 1/4 of a mile away, the only time I had to worry about disturbing or annoying people was when there was a meeting down at the firehouse at the end of our road. This happened very rarely and once I moved them into the basement, even rarer.

When I first started looking for a house the whole reason I wanted one with a basement was so I could have a room to set them up.

Now, I can remember growing up and listening to headbangers like Motley Crue and Whitesnake and Queensryche, etc. They all had these monster double-bass kits, so natch, I wanted one just like them. I had to have THE biggest kit I could afford. After high school graduation I placed my order. I can remember waiting for the kit to arrive as that every damn week I'd find out it was on back order. Man you think it's rough waiting for shit to be delivered now, imagine being a kid waiting on his dream kit. I was getting pissed! It was supposed to be in within 6 weeks of ordering. It wound up being closer to 6 months! Why didn't I just cancel the order? I contemplated it for about 10 seconds, my dad much longer than that, but I was driven; I wanted my dream kit! So I got my dream-kit but little did I know how much space that bad boy would actually take up, about 10' square. Tearing those suckers down and then putting them back up took at least 20 minutes both ways. There were days I thought I should just use part of it, maybe retire a bass drum and a couple toms, but I couldn't.

I played the hell out of that kit and I joined a few bands, though sadly, nothing ever took off. But they were still so awesome to have and pound on. I can recall some awesome parties in that basement and the jamming sessions we had. It was so cool. The only thing that could have been better would have been to have 10k people watching us. I played at the Washington County Fair a couple of times, but beyond that... nothing much.

After not having played them in at least 5 years, at least with any kind of regularity, and after my mother sold the house and I no longer had the place to store them, I was faced with trying to figure out what to do with them. Sadly, this was the best option.

I think what stressed me out was this was like a closing of a chapter of my life. I defined myself as a drummer for many years; I've literally played over half my life. And I loved it. Now I no longer have that. Well, hopefully if finances permit I can get a groovy electronic set and bang away to my heart's desire. Until that time, I guess this is a eulogy of sorts. A eulogy of the teenage and early 20s me that still dreamed that anything was possible; that I could be up on stage in front of thousands, adored by other musicians and kids that responded to music, OUR music.

Reality is a frigid bitch.

I present, Ezreal! (what no cookies?)

2011-10-21T11:09:00.000-07:00

So, it has been a while since I posted and it's been a pretty good couple of months. I am really excited as I finally replaced my motorcycle. I have been wanting to get a new one for some time now but I was somewhat reluctant to do so since I knew I'd wind up with a payment. Well, thanks to the new roomie (yeah, thanks a lot Jason) I made the leap.
Let's back up a smidge shall we?
Yes, I have a new roommate. I was reluctant to rent out the other room since Corey left but Jason was in need and I had the space so I decided what the hell. (As always you may click the images to embiggen)

Well within a week or so of him moving in he bought himself a brand new Harley-Davidson Fat Bob. NEAT bike!. But then the bastard had to go and let me take it for a spin around the block. Big mistake. No, I didn't crash. I fell in love.
THIS was the kind of bike I should have been riding this whole time. Much better ergos and sooo much more comfortable than my Z.

I had to do some thinking and decide what it was I like about Pandora and what I didn't. The list of likes was 2 items long: looks, acceleration.
The dislikes: ergos, squeeky noise, horrible seat (even after getting a $400 custom one), sketchy clutch (sometimes it engaged really hard- could have been operator error), vibrations, horrible seat, noisy, horrible seat. The list goes on. But it's mostly repeats of the horrible seat. I mean this thing was like a medieval torture device. I was constantly pushing myself back off the tank and trying to maintain an upright position. But within seconds of shoving myself back, I was having to shove back again. Try as I might I could not maintain my position on the bike. I have long legs and they were tucked under me when I rode, my arms would get tired from pushing myself back all the time and the general riding position. This was a "sport bike" not to be mistaken for a bullet bike. It had a similar look but the riding position was much more upright. It was kind of a hybrid of a bullet bike and a cruiser of sorts. But it's like they took the worst of both categories and mashed em together.
Don't get me wrong, for the most part I loved the bike. You know what, scratch that. I have pretty much disliked that bike from the get-go. I had hoped to use it to tour the area a bit. That was an epic fail. One ride to Zion and another to Beryl and I knew I would never ride it more than 50 miles.
So for years I have wanted to trade it for a cruiser. Chubs (Jason's Fat Bob) was the final straw. Riding that bike I knew I needed to try and get into something similar. Hopefully without the 5 figure price tag.
Success! I found a Yamaha Raider, took it for a ride and I was done.
Now when I found this bike it was at the Yamaha dealer here in town. I was looking for a Stryker originally.

After kicking around the dealer for 20-30 minutes, chatting with Jason and his boss, the sales kid finally made an appearance. At this point I had discovered the Raider and though I knew it was a more expensive bike I asked about it. Well, it turned out it was an '09 and I could get it for less than the '12 Stryker and it was 500cc's larger! I kept telling myself I didn't need a bike larger than 1400cc or so, but this bike was beautiful and totally fit into what I was wanting.

Nothing is worse (when talking about owning a bike) than buying a bike and then outgrowing it within the first year or so; wishing it had more power, would go faster on the highway, was a bit larger in size,etc. This bike had a lot of promise and I didn't think I'd have to worry too much about outgrowing it. There aren't a whole lot of bikes bigger. lol
I was ready to sign on the dotted line right then, but I wanted to go through my credit union. Silly I know, but that's what I do. I also knew I needed to get a decent trade on my bike. Everyone tries to low-ball when you trade, it's annoying. My bike was mostly mint, only a couple of surface scratches and far less than the allowed 18,000 miles for an '06 model. Try 6k.
Well, Jason and I went across the street to drop off some business cards for his boss and what do I find? ANOTHER Raider, this one had 1k miles on it (apparently it was a demo of sorts) and it was $4000 cheaper! This was kismet. I mean what are the chances?
So long story not quite as long, I bought the "used" bike. The kid at the other dealer wouldn't even acknowledge my existence when I came in to pick up my deposit from the other bike. Really? You're gonna be bitter because I made a financial decision? punk.
Here's the thing though. The guys at Polaris/Victory were awesome. Got me into a great bike at a great price and have been hella supportive. But Jason got cookies. I mean it, he got cookies. A fabulous tin of Mrs. Fields. He also got a free (well with the cost of the bike anyway) membership to the Harley club.

I didn't get cookies. I didn't get a membership to a club. Sure, I know I am being petty (I checked out the club and I'm no longer too butt-chapped over that- Yamaha's club is kind of lame) but where I got a bike, Jason got a community. How cool is that? Granted I bought a used one from a non-Yamaha dealer so what can I expect. I just think it's pretty damn cool that he has gotten all these nifty perks for buying his bike.
I'm thinking a Harley may just have to be in my future. I mean, I want some damn cookies!

Doors Done! (almost)

2011-08-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

So excited, I finally have my barn-style doors put in! They aren't completely done at this point.
I was able to make a couple of adjustments this morning that I had an epiphany about last night, so that was good. But I need to put on the hardware (handles) and finish putting the trim on beside the uprights to make it look purty. So how did this all begin? Here for your viewing pleasure, the tribulations of putting in doors in a house that didn't want them.

The people who owned the house before (not sure if it was them or the builders or someone in between, let's just leave it as the PODAs -previous owner dumb asses), apparently put doors in where there weren't any or at least changed it up. In painting the sunroom I discovered that there used to be a door into the dining room. It seems that the sunroom might have originally been open to the outside and was enclosed and then the door to the dining room covered and the door to the living room expanded. Or something. God knows. There were a couple of mysteries, I have stucco on the inside of the wall of the living room (covered now with drywall) and they chose to use scrap lumber for the framing. And when I say scrap, I mean they rummaged around in some scrap heap and then cobbled the frame together out of their discoveries. Really? I re-framed the whole doorway with 2x6 lumber WAY over-built. It cost me a whopping $36. Again I ask, really? Whenever they framed that door originally, I can guarantee the 2x4 wood that they used would not have cost more than $20. Stupid.
As you can see evidenced in the image below, they didn't just frame up the doorway with scrap they also built it out a bit to make it so the drywall was flush with the interior walls. The way they did that is lame as well, it would have been easier to simply build the frame mostly flush (accounting for drywall) in the first place instead of having to "shim" it out.
(as always, click to embiggen)

If you can't quite make out the bits check out the image below for a clearer picture.

Once I tore into the wall and got the whole frame removed (doors and windows above) I noticed some disturbing stuff, a good (or bad) amount of water damage- gonna have to figure out where the leak is, and some mold. GAH.

When I started to tear off the molding and casing some of the paint went with it. In HUGE pieces as you can see to the right of the doorway below. sigh. While I can frame and do nifty stuff like that I cannot drywall though I'd like to learn. But at this point it wasn't in the budget and I was worried about bringing in a "professional". For 1, I'm sure they would have told me a whole lot more was wrong and I honestly didn't want to know. And 2, it would have cost a lot I'm sure, and 3. I would have had to wait for their schedule. So I did what the PODAs did and just pretended the problem wasn't there. Sort of. I am aware of it and I hope to correct it once my skills are where they need to be.
All the framing I put up was simply in the doorway and it isn't load bearing, so I'm not too concerned, and the way I put it up I can easily pull it back down when I know how to fix the drywall. So for now, (could be decades let's be honest, I am my father's son) this will suffice.
In the image below you can see how the opening looks.

I had to narrow down the opening as the doors that were there before were 6' wide. The doors I am replacing them with are barely 5' but they are 8' tall which is why I had to tear everything out.

I chose to orient the doors all the way to the right (so the window AC can still blow into the living room to assist in cooling) so I had to make up the width on the left. I really had to think about this one for a bit as to how to cover the hole. Again, I don't drywall. So, I latched on the idea of making this wall a feature and tie in the stainless steel I used above the fireplace. Once I figure that out, it was on like donkey kong.

I had a hell of a time trying to find some barn door hardware that I could afford. The sleek modern stuff I wanted was $2000! WHAT?!

Lowe's and Home Depot were busts, but I did a search (thanks Google) and guess what? ACE Hardware to the rescue. So $150 odd bucks later I had hardware for me doors!

As for the doors, fantastic deal I happened to locate at the local ReStore (Habitat for Humanity), I had been looking for some time for some doors that would work and I happened to see them and thought they'd be perfect. Nice wood doors full panel and quite sleek and contemporary. They were raw and unfinished which suited me fine. Figured they'd be costly, but oh no, turns out the guy there wasn't supposed to accept them and he quoted us $20. For both! Tanya insisted on buying them for me to repay me for helping her with her water situation and I strapped em to the top o' me jeep and took em home. Where they sat for months.

The image below is the trial fit of the hardware and doors. I liked it immediately! The other doors swung out into the room and with the new couch just made the room seem really confined and much smaller than it was.
So the doors fit and all was well with the world. I found some stainless steel flashing at Home Depot (not where I got the stuff for the fireplace- this is important), and had to buy a 50' roll. Holy god! I only needed 16' but I was too lazy to run across town to Lowe's. I should have. This flashing was crap. Scraped up and was no where near as shiny and sleek looking. Of the 50' I was just able to pull out about 20' that wasn't marred or otherwise unattractive. Then came the hard part.

I had decided to wrap some 2x10s that I got to help me cover the hole on the left and then match the look on the right (and frankly help cover where the drywall was damaged from the water and the paint peeling off). Bending aluminum flashing did not turn out as easy as I thought it would. sigh. I was a DIY version of the keystone cops. So many things went wrong I can't even number them all. Suffice it to say it was a travesty. As you can see from the image below, trying to bend it with my fingers along a straight edge a little at a time was not good. Buckling and denting and crooked edges do not a pretty wrap make. sigh.

I soldiered on and kept hoping for the best but the minute I put them up and trimmed around them I knew it wasn't going to work. They looked just fine with the doors open (and let's be honest most of the time they would be), but once you closed them. GAH!
Buckle city. Just horrendous.

So I yanked them down and went on a quest for what I could do instead. Well I went to my trusted Lowe's and found some narrower flashing that was 25' in length and much cheaper and of much better quality. I didn't bend it around the posts instead I got some aluminum L channel and used that to frame them and I think it turned out marvelously! So much happier!

As you can see from the pics below I think it turned out really well. Maybe not perfect, but I am rarely completely satisfied with my projects since I can see all the flaws.

So ultimately, this is the run down: I ran the flashing to the ceiling, not certain I am going to keep it like that I do have an old framed photograph that was my father's that I might put up above the window to see how that looks, but I might just bring them down to the top of the window. I grabbed my drill and wire brush and scuffed up the track for the doors, thought that looked cool. I thought about doing it to the flashing (looks really nifty) but I didn't since then it wouldn't match the flashing above the fireplace. Then I located a piece of glass to use as a transom above the doors. $3 ReStore. So for cost I am into it $150 for the track and wheels, $20 for the doors, $3 for the window, $41 for the crap flashing, $23 for the good stuff, $36 for the framing lumber, roughly $25 for the trim, $14 for the handles, and $14 for the metal pieces I had to use to cover the old doorknob holes. Total price $326 oh and $24 for the paint but I'll be using that all around the house so I didn't figure that in. If you take off the doors, since I didn't pay for them, and if I could pretend the first flashing never happened, I almost got it done for less than $300. I feel pretty good about that. Time invested: 3 weekends, about 60 hours.

The results below, comments?
Open.
Closed. I will be rearranging where I put the shelves, the doors are really pretty and I'd like them to be seen. :o)

Future bits to be done: I'd like to put in glass, preferably some frosted stuff or something so we can get the light into the room even with them closed (the sunroom gets a little cooler in the winter) and then I need to finish the opposite side. Other than that, for the time being, I am mostly done. lol

WARNING: House Under Quarantine

2011-07-25T11:14:00.000-07:00

It's true, my home is contagious!
I have the decorating bug, I've tried to find treatment but to no avail. Well (un)fortunately my roomie has found herself infected as well.
It started with painting her room; a lovely green shade, and finding herself a snazzy mirror to accent it as well.
It has since moved into her bathroom. The other roommate has moved on to greener pastures and with no plan on replacing him she took the opportunity to make her bathroom her own.
Originally she was going to go with a nice blue theme. But upon finding the following shower curtain everything changed! I present to you,
Symptom 1: A hideous bathroom. (as always, click to embiggin)

Treatment 1: a snazzy shower curtain!

Symptom 2: Ugly cabinet with uglier hardware and huge outlet gash.

Treatment 2: New color and hardware and snazzy outlet and cover!

Symptom 3: Hideous mirror (unseen light fixture) and cabinet.

Treatment 3: Fancy paint and hardware, and new clock, (unseen new fixture), more outlets and covers

Same Symptom as above, new angle more ugly

Treatment 3.1 New hardware for towels and the like!

I think the roomie did a fabulous job and I love the fact that she feels more comfortable now. It's always been my desire to have the roomies feel like they can dig in and make something more to their liking. Fortunately this is also to my liking. bonus all around!

But is it stealing?

2011-07-19T14:45:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a bit of thinking lately.
The other day I had a friend tell me that they stole something from a local restaurant, just a nifty little tool that they use there. Why did they steal it? Because they were dared and they thought it was "funny".

I'm really conflicted with this revelation. I do not agree with stealing. At all. BUT I have downloaded pirated movies and have a couple of songs that were likely pirated as well. I usually give my friends a total ration of shit about it when I know they do it. The irony being that one of them is the one that gave me a bunch of pirated songs. I have also got a few books for my kindle that were pirated. (Harry Potter and Sookie Stackhouse- I've even offered them to friends. Hypocrite much?) but I justify it to myself since Harry Potter is not available on e-reader yet and as soon as it is I am buying them. But I also realize that hey, I have all the hardbacks, so how fair is it that I can't just import those into my Kindle? I was able to rip my cds into my iTunes. But at this point in time there is no way to convert your existing library into your e-reader. sigh.

But to go back to what prompted this, I have friends that pirate a shit-ton of movies and music to the point of being quite proud about it and even to the point of having their internet blocked due to these practices yet they are still unrepentant about the practice.

The thing is, I could never imagine any of these people ever walking into Wal-Mart of Bestbuy and stuffing a dvd or cd into their bags, let alone a few hundred of them. But doesn't piracy amount to the same thing?

What happened to our morals as a country that such activity is so much more acceptable? I admit it, I would have a hard time being friends with someone who I knew was a thief. But I do know people who are. Does it make it so much different since it's digital and not physical? I mean I trust these people in my home; I'd never think they'd steal from me. But they do steal, on a regular basis. How do I feel about this?

I know, a ton of people will be like, well don't judge them. I judge, but I try to not to convict, if that makes any sense at all. I mean we all judge, it's what people do. But we don't always pass a conviction onto the things we disagree with. It's a "victimless" crime; it doesn't hurt anyone I know. But it still hurts society doesn't it?

Other than the "funny stealing" that my friend told me about, this weekend a couple of things happened that make me acutely aware of thievery and how it affects people. One I won't go into, my friends know what it's about and know what I am going through. But the other, someone getting my CC number and making a dupe card and clearing out my account. I should be really pissed. But I'm not. It's weird. Maybe because I don't know them, and they don't know me so I can't take it personally. Like I would if it was friend or family. It also didn't hurt that I was able to recover all my money within a couple days. But it still begs the question? Why take something that isn't yours? And can't this be extended to simple piracy?

It seems like a grey area to me at this point. I love and adore my friends that pirate and would never doubt their integrity otherwise. But it makes me think a little bit.

My Walls CAN Talk

2011-07-05T09:52:00.000-07:00

I have conquered my wall!
I was concerned that I had wasted money on getting my new speakers and after a couple weeks of thinking I realized that I could make it work without any real modifications.
As you can see from the pic below I had NO extra space between my studs for my speaker placement. The only other thing I might do is use my Dremel and make a couple small reliefs in the studs so that I can engage the little clamps that hold the speakers in place, but the hole is tight enough, I don't know if it will be necessary.

You can see the mostly finished product below, all I have left to do is paint, but since I am changing the wall color it'll be a little bit before I jump into that part of the project.

Unfortunately I was stymied on being able to run the wires behind my trim along the floor. Sigh, I don't know what size of sill plate they used but it's not a 2x4, so I'll have to think about that one again too. I'm thinking I might use a second piece a trim above the first a little ways, maybe make it look like it's architectural if I can. About the only thing I can think of.

My House Hates Me

2011-06-20T10:27:00.000-07:00

It would seem that every damn time I try to do something in my house I find some random thing that keeps me from doing so. Sigh. When I tried to mount my television on the wall I discovered that the studs were too far apart where I wanted to place it. I had to span the space between the two studs that were in the best place (read: closest to the center of the wall) so that I would have something to attach the mount to. So now I have these horrid lengths of 2x4 stuck on the wall. The tv mostly covers them, but from above (which you can see from the walkway upstairs) and from the side they are plainly visible. I realized that the studs were spaced farther apart then normal because of the AC vent that is in the wall. (for the uninitiated: most studs in residential construction are 16" on center- the two I needed were over 2 feet apart so the mount wouldn't reach).

After getting my new couch I decided that it is just too damn cluttered in the room and along that wall. I decided to de-clutter by replacing my current speakers (they are big floor speakers that had belonged to my father and sound really good but are a bit old, believe it or not I'm pretty sure they are older than I am- BIG EYES!) with some in-wall speakers.

Installing in-wall speakers does not concern me too much, cut a hole in the wall for the speaker and cut a hole in the bottom behind the floor molding to hide the wires and voila. Done. BUT my house had other ideas. First I had the studs I had to deal with to mount the tv, now I have to fight an over abundance of studs! My first thought was that the idiots were making up for the lack of studs in the middle of the wall. But then I thought that maybe it's to support the walkway above. I don't really know which of these is accurate. But regardless, I don't appear to have space enough (where I need it) to mount one of my damn speakers. All I need is 12" or so. Talk about frustrating. I may be able to get away with 8" but I am not even sure I have that. The speakers need to be 6-8' apart, (mine will be closer to 10' and the tv needs to be centered between them) so my options for placement are limited. the thing that sucks, the left hand speaker has plenty of space, the right... I have 4' to work with, and believe it or not, I have no option. there are that many damn studs or some other random obstacle. Sigh. Please see pic below for reference, the red are what I believe are studs.

I'm gonna see if I can squeeze out 8" since that is the bare minimum I can work with. We will see.

New Seating!

2011-06-02T09:53:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I happened upon a couch at Boulevard Home Furnishings (Blvd) that I fell in love with. This was kind of strange since I've always had a low opinion of Blvd based on three things, I felt they were overpriced, cheaply made, and almost exclusively traditional in style. But I was wanting to try and get a new couch or sectional and I hit all the other places in town (mostly with Connie in tow, poor kid. lol) and though I had seen some that I liked, none of them "spoke to me" shall we say.

So without much hope I surrendered and went to Blvd just to see what I might find. Most suspicions were borne out not long after walking through the doors. Most of the furniture was extremely traditional in design and style and the ones I did see that I somewhat liked were very expensive. (of course)

Then as I was walking down the main aisle I saw this vision of a dream, a sectional of contemporary design that literally stopped me in my tracks. I was like, oh. mah. god. I have found my holy grail. lol. Not quite. While it seemed to avoid two of the aforementioned expectations: cheaply made and traditional, it did not avoid possibly the most important, it was EXPENSIVE (to me.), $3000 for the set. *big eyes!

Since I prefer paying in cash, it was not gonna happen until I did some saving, and that was gonna take a while. With a sigh I surrendered the fantasy.

Then over the Memorial Day holiday I decided to see what else they might have to offer.

And voila, there is was and it was almost half off! Only $1700! To say I was excited would be accurate. I still didn't have the cash, but I decided to again leave it up to fate (it served me well thus far, eh?) I decided to go ahead and finance it. If I got financing so be it, if not, so be it. Well I got it. yay! 12 months no interest.

The only snag... one piece was missing (thanks a hell of a lot Fitness Ridge, you just had to make your set two couches instead of a love seat/ couch combo. psh) So, the good news, it was actually even cheaper(!), $1400, but bad news, it was not the coveted couch/love seat configuration anymore, it was more, love seat/love seat. blah.

But I decided to heck with it. I have the financing, I love the look and all things considered what were the chances I find something I like as much. (also, it matches my dining set.)

So I bought it and it was delivered on Tuesday. Two things occurred to me upon its arrival: it's massive (things are always so much smaller on the showroom) and I wasn't sure if the dual love seat thing was going to work for me. And maybe it's not quite as comfortable as I thought. hmmm

But after living with it for a while and trying a few different arrangements in my living room I think I like it. I really love the look, I wish it had armrests near the table, but meh...

So without further ado, behold the Square1... (click images to embiggen, as always)

oh, before anyone opines that I should check online for a source to get the missing piece, I have exhausted that avenue. Apparently Emerald Furniture (the manufacturer) has discontinued it so I am not able to locate any additional pieces. booo But I have told Blvd that if they manage to get another piece to let me know. I've also written the manufacturer to see if they can provide me with another source. *fingers crossed.

Thoughts?

Project Entryway

2011-05-23T10:37:00.000-07:00

Hello all!

I got busy again this weekend (I just love having projects to do) and I covered my icky entryway floor with some new wood flooring. Okay, VINYL wood flooring, but I was mainly going for a look and I had a VERY limited budget to work with.Here is the before... (click to embiggen pix of course)

and the after...

I think it looks so much better and I was fortunate; I got it all for only $15 and it was the perfect amount (almost, I had 1 whole strip-with tape gunk on it, not really usable and the scraps amounted to pretty much 1 strip).

So that was project 1 (Well, 2, actually, I am not posting them in order. lol)

The other project was the recurring nightmare I call The Awning.

As you can see from this image, I had some work to do...

Yeah, it's not supposed to be bowed like that. hee hee. So I had to put in rafters at each of the posts. It comes down to the fact that I should have just poured concrete for the posts. The piers I used move in the ground so when I would increase the tension on the cables (or the wind kicked up and moved the awning material a bit) the posts would move. I didn't realize it was so bad until I started noticing how tight I was making the cables yet they kept getting loose. I thought that the turnbuckles were loosening. I was wrong. sigh.

So I put in the rafters and the funny thing is, now the bow goes the opposite direction. lol

I made all the posts plum but since they didn't all line up completely ( I measured them all before I dug but I would guess I wasn't accurate or else the holes weren't so great. (I knew I should have used a string-line.) Well I can make shit work, now I just gotta learn how to plan it better. Lol or else learn to ask for help instead of trying to do it all by my onesie all the time. I need a bf. lol

Looks like I will have to change how the awning material is hung up though. They have little plates you can just hammer through the material but that would negate the possibility of having it retractable at all. But oh well, the best laid plans of mice and men and all that.

Bathroom in Process

2011-05-16T10:55:00.000-07:00

Woo Hoo, what a fun weekend!

The roomies helped me paint the downstairs bathroom to make it look much better. Thanks to both Connie and Corey (he was our self-described "supervisor"- a position he is aching to add to his resume) for all their assistance.

Corey also helped me ~~tried to cut off my toe~~ remove the lame damn shower stall doors (you know, I get it when you buy stuff from yard sales or what-have-you, but at least see if they fit properly first) and replace them with a nice curtain. It is so much easier now to access the shower, I forget how much of a pain those doors really were.

Unfortunately I discovered that I have to rework my awning again. sigh Let this be a lesson to everyone, that trying to make it easier on yourself by using preformed concrete piers instead of pouring concrete for posts, is not the way to go. Now I have to add some 2x4 rafters because my frame is bowing from the tension on the cables. Should be an easy fix. But like everything else on this thing... we'll see.

Well thanks again roomies for the help!

And Saturday night I got to help a good friend see his way into his 40s. It's a dreadful time of life, but the party for it was a ball. There were some good people and some total train wrecks. Happily the two were not necessarily exclusive. lol And any party that has arrests, is usually a good party. *wink wink

Long Time Gone

2011-05-13T13:35:00.000-07:00

As always it has been ages since last I posted. sigh.

Lots o' things have gone down:

I have finally finished a couple of projects! (images soon to come)

My patio shade thingy (which Connie refers to as the "awning" which is probably the most accurate name for it.)

I finished painting my Sunroom (Finally!)

And I finished painting the Dining Room, which Connie helped me start so long ago. (thanks roomie)

There is a lesson here, I muchly like it when people help me with things, ~~Corey, you lazy ass.~~

Much of this sudden industriousness came about because I lost my ~~shady, crappy, verging on fraudulent~~ job that I have held for a number of years.

I won't lie, I enjoyed the job quite a bit. I learned how to do things that I would never have otherwise. For that, I am grateful, but when it came to some of the stuff I had to do I had some issues. It's always difficult to justify your employment at a place based solely on a paycheck mostly because you feel so bad about the people that are sold a bill of goods that just won't happen.

I was able to get past a lot of the shady dealings simply because I knew it wasn't us that did the selling, we just fulfilled it. We tried to do so to the best of our abilities and help these people recoup some of their money. Without a doubt, or exception, no one ever did.

This was so hard for me and many of the wonderful and even some of the most unsettling people, ~~gary,~~ that I worked with, the former I miss dearly.

The funny thing, is that they didn't go out of business or get shut down by the state, instead they sold ~~that shit heap~~ to another company. A company that is just as shady and is even worse for shit pulling. We were told originally that it would take "at least 1 month, maybe 2" to transition. Well guess what? I was laid off that day. And now most of the people I know that were still there have been laid off and it hasn't even been two weeks. psh.

You know, I get it, you have a company and you have to watch your bottom line, but it's jacked up that a company gets pissy if you quit and don't give them two weeks notice, (I know, I was a manager and it sucked ass having to cover for people that bailed) but companies do not give you the same respect. If you're fired for cause then so be it. Your ass deserved it, but if you are laid off or downsized or what have you, then they should either give you some kind of severance or notice. Please, these things do not happen over-night. They know their shit has gone bad and that they cannot stay in business at least a couple months in advance. Here's the thing though, they know the minute they tell you that they are going under and will be letting people go, people cease giving a shit. They develop the mindset of, "what are they gonna do, fire me?"

But, that's just something that's gonna happen. For those people that are loyal and stand by you, and as a manager you should be able to tell who those people are, you should reward them for that loyalty. But this rarely happens.

So now I have a new job. The people are super nice, and they are really happy here. I would love to bring my friends from Omni/Resutlzzzesszzzzzs/Achieve/Vision to work here, though I wonder if they would curse me or bless me. The thing is, it's not a bad place from what I can tell, but it seems drugs be a big thing in this damn industry. I try not to judge and at least (from what I can tell so far) it's just ganga, but I'm still mildly uncomfortable. Also, I'm getting the impression that a record is a prerequisite. Not if that's true, but damn... it seems like it.

So that's where I am at right now, for those that care. lol

I'll get some pics up of my last projects and hopefully keep people informed on what's going on.

Cheaters Never(?) Win

2011-04-11T12:17:00.000-07:00

So again, I take up keyboard to bitch and moan about people who seem to think that infidelity is the hallmark of a great relationship.
I just don't get this mentality. It's even harder when I learn that people who I think very highly of are guilty of cheating on their partner/spouse. I just get so aggravated. Maybe it's not for me to get on my Huffy Bike and complain about it, but it just seems to be so disrespectful to the idea of monogamy and to the counterpart in their relationship.
As a member of the gay community, I also hope for the day that gays can marry in every state. But I can't say that gays would work any harder at a relationship then straight people do. I guess it really puts us on common ground with straight society.
"Hey, guess what breeders, we have as little respect for monogamy as you do! woo hoo!"
Maybe this will be the new call to action we as gays need to finally be accepted within the main stream society.
I wonder if I hold this negative view towards philandering because I am single and because I don't have what these people have/had that they seem to disrespect so much. Would I also cheat on my partner if given a chance?
I like to think that I wouldn't. I feel that if you are with someone you are with them, not simply so you can have a regular piece of ass, or for making monthly financing easier, or simply for someone to talk to, but because you genuinely care about that person above all others. Is it more true to assume that most of the time we are with that person just so we have a warm body to snuggle up to while we wait for someone better to come along? This seems to have a ring of truth to it.
As gays sometimes our options are limited. So perhaps there are people out there that are together mostly for convenience. I have caught myself thinking that as opposed to being alone, perhaps I should just date such-n-such. But I simply can't do it. I want to be with someone who I feel is the end-all be-all and who feels the same for me. But is this the fallacy of "love". Is "love" just simply chemicals that bash together but ultimately are nothing but chemicals?
Gays are quick to point out that homosexuality does exist in nature and within the animal kingdom, something so many straight and religious people claim does not. We have gay penguins in zoos raising a brood, we have examples of homosexuality in animals in pretty much every species. Some of these species mate for life. So if we use the argument that homosexuality is natural because of the animal kingdom, then shouldn't that argument also support monogamy?
I am really having a crisis of conscience over this whole thing. I again, recently learned that someone I consider a very close friend, cheated on their partner, and has been an active participant in someone else's infidelity. It really bothers me. But I have to wonder, do I have a right to be bothered by it? I think I do. I think it speaks directly to someone's character when they are so willing to participate in something like this. I don't really care if someone maintains they are in an open relationship, unless that person is actively involved "during" I have difficulty accepting that. I have known people who have maintained this facade but when you talk to the other member of the relationship they do not feel the same way at all. It seems to me, if you have to look outside your relationship for something, you shouldn't be in the relationship.
I know that there can be different levels of infidelity. When I was doing some research on the psychology of cheating I learned that you have the standard sexual as well as emotional, which may or may not contain a sexual component. Which is worse?
I find that I have lost a lot of respect for some of the people in my life due to this activity, and it really causes me stress. I am not a victim but people I care about are impacted by this so I find myself reacting partially for them. And who do I or should I respect less, the cheater or the cheatee?
I know that we are big on telling people, "hey, who I sleep with and what I do in the privacy of my own home is no one else's business." But that statement sometimes seems to ring false to me. What happens between two consenting adults I feel is between them. But when you get a 3rd or 4th or more involved, then is everyone consenting? And should that affect how an uninvolved party should feel about it?
People vilified Tiger when he was caught. Was it because he was cheating or because he cheated sooo much?
Gah! I don't know, and it's driving me apeshit. I tend to think that I am justified in my feelings towards cheating and cheaters, but I can't help but think perhaps I am being a bit self-righteous (a character trait I do not find attractive). And is this disrespect enough to reconsider my friendship with those people? I don't want to be all on my high horse about this, because, I sometimes get the impression, I wouldn't have many friends since every time (well not EVERY time) it always comes to a shock to me when I find out someone cheated on their partner/spouse. But I do have a hard time looking someone in the face when I know this type of thing about them. So, I usually wind up avoiding them for a while. It seems to pass over time. sigh.
Well, dear reader(s) what are your thoughts?
Sound off in the comments, I am curious to see what other people think.

Eau de What the Hell did you roll in?

2011-03-31T14:52:00.000-07:00

The "oh so wise" Jared of Spin Off raised an excellent point today, the offense of people who marinate in their cologne but seem blissfully unaware that it might smell less offensive than their poop and/or b.o. but is still offensive just the same.
But, the real question on my mind, (raised because we have a couple of offenders here) is what about those that stink, but not of any man-made stink-pretty that they delightfully douse themselves with like it's essence of "come get me", but with straight up ass stench?
I mean, sure your eyes water and maybe you sneeze a few times. But come on! That's a tiptoe through the tulips of olfactory heaven compared to people that simply do not bathe or wash their clothes/socks/body/hair who seem intent upon assaulting our delicate noses with their fragrant noxiousness.
Could it be that some people are just unaware of it? Or are we just manufacturing excuses for them to make ourselves feel better about the fact that we are sissies and afraid to point out their hygienic failures?
Also, why is it that the people this type of comment is aimed for always falls on deaf ears? I had an associate who reeked, but I could think of no tactful way to bring it to her attention. So I just mentioned it in a meeting and blamed a "customer complaint" for the issue being raised. I mentioned no names and pointed no fingers. I should have! The person in question was completely oblivious. Instead, another girl piped up (mind you, someone that NO ONE had complained about) and said it was probably her because she, "had a fungus that the doctor gave her medication for that smells really bad and she got it cuz she didn't bathe enough." *big eyes! OMG really? and it wasn't even about her!
The other girl *ahem ~~Justine~~ just nodded and continued to come to work smelling like (insert some famous sports dude of which I have no idea) after a six hour (insert practice/game/ whatever the hell it is that famous sports dude of which I have no idea would be doing that would make him smell) and a lengthy roll in dog shit (just for good measure).
So take note people. Sniff your underarms, check your feet, and for god's sake look around you, if people are breathing shallowly it's probably you! Don't let yourself be forever referred to in hush tones and covered noses as, "That (insert offending person's name here)" because you are only referred to as "That (person)" for negative reasons. Unless of course it is followed by, "is a funny bastard". as in, "that Mike is a funny bastard." Then it's all good. or so I am told.
*sniff-sniff
yeah, I think I'm okay.

Of weeds and trees

2011-03-30T07:54:00.000-07:00

Hello dear reader(s?)
Yes, I have been away yet again. Sigh. I really do mean to keep up on this blogging thing, but I am abysmally lazy and so... well, that's how it goes.
But perhaps today I shall be prompted to take up the keyboard again and actually write something here. But what to write? It seems I am most successful when I am complaining and bitching about something, but then, that's a whole lot of negativity, no?
So, maybe I should try something positive... hmm... I'm thinking! hmm... welllll, oh I know!
This past weekend was kind of fun, it rained on Saturday (yay(!) but boo(!) since I want rain but not on days I don't work sheesh) so I was not able to get out into the yard to do some much needed weeding, at least not until late in the day. At around 5-6 I finally got to go out and try to wrest a couple of the biggest weeds out of the ground. Holy god, those things seriously did not want to move! But I prevailed, and managed to pull a few out, but got soaked in the process as that they were still quite wet.
The best part of the weekend was Sunday as that it was bright and clear and my lovely roommates volunteered their time and helped me weed! Corey dug out all the lava rock from one of the planters and Connie helped me weed the rest of the yard. A couple of hours and a couple stiff backs, legs, and necks, we were mostly done and the yard, though still not fabulous looking, looked so much better! Thanks friends! (unfortunately I do not have image goodness. We didn't think to take pics until AFTER we were done. sigh)
Next up, TREES!
This weekend I have plans to plant at least 2 (maybe more) trees. I have it narrowed down to these 3 varieties.
The above is called the "Chaste" tree. LOVE IT. It blooms all summer long.
Info about the Chaste Tree from grumpygardener.southernliving.com

"Native to southern Europe and central Asia, chaste tree quickly grows into a multi-trunked tree about 10 to 20 feet tall and wide with a broad, spreading habit. It gets its name from the erroneous medieval belief that a potion made from it could curb the libido. In reality, wearing a house dress with orthopedic shoes and multiple nose piercings is much more effective.

That doesn't mean that chaste tree doesn't have its pharmacological uses. An extract made from Vitex supposedly does a very good job of controlling PMS. Which means any of you guys out there who are routinely beaten every 28 days should definitely plant one in the yard."

I think I love the Grumpy Gardener.

The other tree I want is
The Mountain Laurel! It smells like grape soda! And is toxic! My plan of ridding my neighborhood of small obnoxious children who love grape soda is approaching fruition! muahahahahahahaha

And lastly...

The Eastern Redbud. Yes it's true, as you can see I really like flowering trees. I think they will make a nice impact against the bland backdrop that is my house. good stuff!

Tell me what you think, which trees should I get first? The redbud is slow growing so it'll take a little time, but the chaste grows relatively fast. I will also be getting some Italian Cypresses to form a border and hopefully put a bit of shade on the house from the west.
We'll see. Can't wait for Saturday, though the digging will suck. sigh.

Wow, it's been a while

2011-01-13T12:47:00.000-08:00

Holy shit, it's been ages since last I posted!
I'm not a big fan of New Year's Resolutions but I think I need to rededicate myself to at least attempting to post on this here thingy.
It's not that I lack opinions or the desire to foist my brilliance on others I've just been extremely ~~lazy~~ busy and haven't ~~bothered~~ been able to find the time to post. The roommate posts daily, if not multiple times a day, and has even increased his readership. I have contemplated that I don't really want to find myself obsessed with how many people visit and if they make comments like he seems to be. But, it is rather cathartic and enjoyable to write. Also, it doesn't hurt to get the practice with writing.
So, this is not a resolution, just simply an attempt to get myself to post with some frequency. I did try to do a 365 blog but found myself running out of new things to take pictures of. I do not have an exciting life so it's difficult to find a subject every day. With this in mind I don't know that I will be able to post on here daily, but I would like to try for a few times a week at least.
So out go the self-imposed length expectations, even if maybe all I am doing is a blog equivalent of a status update I shall try to do so.
So buckle up, this'll either be very successful, an epic fail, or pretty much the same as it has been up til now.

Of man boobs and sweat

2010-10-05T09:17:00.000-07:00

It was brought to my attention by someone I consider a dear and true friend that I might have unfairly focused on the LDS church and Boyd K. Packer. I think I need to qualify the statement I made earlier on Facebook and Twitter. Since I tweeted it at the same time I could only use 140 characters but there is more to it. I am not LDS. I do not hold to LDS beliefs. This man means nothing to me. I made the original joke intending to use some other old guy, but he's in the media right now and was stuck in my mind. So be it. That's the price of being relevant.

I could care less what this man thinks of me. If there is a god I will answer to him/her/it when the time comes. I feel I have lived a "righteous" life so I am confident I will be okay. *fingers crossed ;o)

I used I/me instead of us/we simply because it was easier.

The problem with what this man says is evident in the rate of suicide/attempts among LDS youth who feel that they are abominations and sinners. That they have a choice and that they choose to be this way. Imagine being told you are a certain color because you choose to be. Now try to change that color. I can speak for myself that I tried to change. I tried to not find guys attractive and I failed. I too attempted to end my life as a result (half-heartedly and obviously unsuccessfully) and have more than once found myself contemplating it, even this late in life.

People don’t understand what comes along with being gay sometimes. Some people have an easier time with it than others. I am single and have been for pretty much ever. Such is my lot in life I suppose. Am I happy about it? Hell no. Perhaps that will change.

As a result of this solitude there have been times it seemed like it would be so much easier to not have to deal with it. While I lived in Vegas that reached a peak, luckily, I withstood the onslaught of despair and reveled in the friendships I had and the family I am close to. Without that… who is to say.

So, if one were to believe what many ecclesiastic leaders preach, why don’t I just switch teams? Why don’t I just find a nice woman to settle down with? If only it were that easy. I long to spend my life with someone, and to have children and grandchildren and all the concomitant things that accompany such a life, but it is not be. Would that I could change that, but I cannot. It’s not that I haven’t tried. But it is not going to happen and I am the only one having to live that truth. Regardless of what ignorant people will tell you, there is no choice. There is no waking up suddenly realizing that, oh hey, I think I like guys now.

I could no more force myself into a loveless marriage just for the sake of not being alone. I could not put my wife and possible future children through the emotional rollercoaster that would be sure to follow. I have no desire to find myself trolling the internet via Craig’s list or some other hook-up site with the intention of finding some guys to have trysts with while pretending to be a decent and honorable family man.

This is what happens all the time. There are a ton of ads in every city of guys wanting to get with another, on the “down low” “no strings attached” “married guys ok” and all the rest. You have closeted senators and church leaders meeting other guys in bathrooms then having to face their own hypocrisy in the news when the “scandal” breaks.

I long for the world where who I love matters less than the brand of car I drive or the groups I listen to or movies and books I prefer. All are things that have no effect on the people around me, though they may have a differing opinion about, but ultimately has no impact on how they feel about me as a person.

Is this such a bad dream? Is it too much to expect? For now, apparently, it is.

IT is all about me

2010-09-20T12:12:00.000-07:00

I have been informed that it has been too long since last I posted. Though it seems like no one ever reads my blog it does make me feel a bit better when I am told such things, because it gives lie to the assumption that I only do it to see myself write.
So there is a question when you are creating a blog and putting down your thoughts: Is it of intrinsic worth and value, or is it simply an exercise in indulgence where you can just prattle on and on about mostly nothing excessively with little or no regard to grammar, punctuation or the joys of brevity?
Now that I put this down of course, one or more people are going to assume that I am talking directly or indirectly about them. Maybe I am (I am) but, maybe it's just further evidence of these peoples' arrogance and assumption that everything indeed is about them.
But as my friends they cannot help but influence my writing and opiniations. Is this bad? No. I think it is not.
I think the true value of reading and writing blogs is learning through them how to write and perhaps how not to. I do try to be somewhat entertaining and I hope that I succeed more often then I fail, but that is really up to the reader no?
Looking back at my blog I saw that I had very accurately commented that it would likely be a forum for me to complain and vent in. It's very useful that way.
Some days I am even grumpy when I have had nothing go on that I can complain about. Let's face it, those are the most entertaining posts.
In closing I ask myself a few questions:
1. am I overly self-indulgent in my writing
2. am I improving in my writing
3. other than ranting and raving, and maybe the occasional homo-improvement post, am I entertaining
4. do I bore people
5. are my posts too long and pedagogic
6. are they the opposite; too short and obtuse
7. because seven is supposed to be a karmic spiritual number, should I edit more, both for length and spelling/grammar/punctuation errors
All these questions and more run through my mind every time I post.
Maybe I shouldn't concern myself too much with such petty concerns, but if I hope to garner or maintain an audience I think they are paramount. So I shall ruminate on them a bit more, and hopefully not as much time will pass between now and my next post. If I am lucky maybe some punk/q-tip will cut me off in traffic and give me grist to mill on my mortar and pestle of a blog.

New Fans!

2010-09-12T19:12:00.000-07:00

I just put up some new fans and mostly finished painting the dreaded "mint-green" room.
Also have mocked up some actual window coverings. TALL windows need TALL curtains, which i do not have and are hella expensive. sigh But I got all the necessary mounting materials and rods for 1/2 off!

Of Blogs and Commenting

2010-08-31T16:52:00.001-07:00

I was talking to a friend of mine who also has a blog, and he was distressed by a negative comment he received. This got me thinking, as a blogger, who is putting his thoughts out to the world, should he not expect to receive some kind of feedback on his posts? And should he only expect to have positive comments and feedback?
I figure I can expect to have feedback that runs the gamut. I understand his concern and I also understood his reaction. The feedback wasn't terribly kind, and he didn't receive it on his actual blog, instead he received it on his Facebook wall. Was this an appropriate forum for that feedback?
If we are going to put ourselves out there and use multiple forums of promotion, I suppose we can expect any of those forums as possible sources of commentary and feedback.
Was what the commenter said inappropriate then?
I guess that would depend on the recipient. For him, no. Me? I think I would have just given it back in kind, or simply ignored it, or deleted it, whichever pleased me at that point.
I also provided him feedback, but I did so face to face- frankly I was somewhat bored with his post. I thought it was mildly indulgent and overlong.
But you know what?
It's his blog, he can do or say whatever in the world makes him happy.
Would I call him lame on his Facebook wall? Probably not. But that's just not how I usually operate.
But the thing is, that's the risk you take when you use a public forum for expressing yourself. People are going to make digs and some people are going to think you're the second coming. But will they ALWAYS think you are? Unless you are totally awesome... probably not. It's the haps. I have multiple people I follow, other than S.T. Lewis, who is just spot on about all the time, most of them- the revered Wil Wheaton for one, and 27b/6 for another, have let me down. But I move on and read them again and weigh each of their posts on their own merits. Just like an Emmy winning comedy can have an off episode, so too can a great blogger have an off post.
Just shake it off and try again.

Kolob

2010-08-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

Went up to Kolob this past weekend. I have never been there, but after seeing it I want to go again and again. I really have to question why the hell I bought a house when I could have gotten a ratty old trailer and stuck it up on a lot here instead. You can recharge in this kind of beauty. I might could also talk my brother into coming to visit with views like this. (oh and the less than sun-surface temperatures help.)
The image below is looking into Zion Canyon from Lava Point Overlook (as always, click to embiggen)

Like a fool I shined on taking my camera so I am stuck with these craptastic shots I took with my phone. And to top that off I could only take a few because the battery died. grrr
The image below is one of a couple I took at the cabin we were at. Thank you Claudia Bradshaw for hosting us 'mos for your annual PFLAG bbq. Why I never went before I don't know.

The shot below is directly from her back yard looking to the northeast

This shot is to the southeast
Man, so much beauty and the smell of the trees and grasses, just marvelous. To get away from the heat of St. George was such a needed respite. I would go again in a hot minute. I am packing up a tent and heading up at the first chance.

New Mantle!

2010-08-06T13:39:00.001-07:00

I attacked my fireplace yet again. I wanted to have a mantle so I could decorate it. So, I ran to my local Home Depot, and grabbed a shelf and some brackets and a piece of wood, along with a nifty new jigsaw and set to work.
This is what I had the first morning, I think I made pretty good headway.
And voila, this morning, 2 days after starting I have made Mantle!
I wonder if it stands out enough really. It just looks like my stuff is floating on the fireplace now.
Opinions? I thought about maybe banding the front edge with stainless just to make it stand out more. (as always- click pix to embiggen)