Noisy Chicagoan

2011-06-12T11:39:00.000-07:00

My MacBook Pro is brand new and the card reader isn't recognizing my SD card from my camera. It's always something. Luckily I'm in Orlando again and the Apple store is across the street. Hence I don't have any photos of my own to post as of yet but I'll find some visual stimulation for you this post.

Photoshop continues to daze me but the weather here is brilliant. Sitting poolside sipping Fanta naranja gives me incredible joy. I'm convinced Vitamin D needs to be a huge part of my life. I'm getting better at building out websites and eager to learn more but I must admit, it seems so daunting the amount of information to learn about coding, wordpress, photoshop, fireworks, so on and so forth.

SO...I read an issue of Maxim magazine the other day. A favorite of mine is also GQ and I've read FHM before. I'm a huge advocate of a media revolution of sorts (I'll have to expound on that subject another day...way too much) and I've done extensive studies in the way media is presented to and by women. Bottom line? Sorry but women's magazines suck ass. I admit, I occasionally pick up a Cosmo or probably my favorite (if I have one) women's magazine is Marie Claire but seriously??? Men's magazines are so much cooler. And have more interesting material. In Maxim I learned how to filet a fish, siphon a gas tank, learned about a new hit comedian, got to experience Cameron Diaz in her real element (foul mouthed and sex crazed) and not some watered down version for the ladies, learned how to make some great new summertime alcoholic punches, heard some new jokes that were actually funny, read about the history of the donut, read articles peppered with swear words (which is ACTUALLY the way people talk) and avoided a host of ridiculously stupid articles about how to please your man or low fat recipes and overpriced clothing options. In short, fuck you women's magazines. I think if I read any magazine that is feminine or such, I will choose Family Circle or whatever because it's $1.99 and I would buy it for organizational skills, crafts or recipes instead of stupid shit in Vogue, Elle, Cosmo etc....

I've been thinking (again) about a book to write. Or a script. I started one when I was at DePaul but I have to find it. It's so difficult to get into the habit of writing regularly. On that tip, I started a few more blogs so check them out!

www.grievancesagainstsociety.wordpress.com
www.pagesfoldedover.wordpress.com
www.postcardsfromhell.com

grievances against society i welcome experiences from others. The people that co-exist in this world with me sometimes baffle the shit out of me. And sometimes get on my every last fucking nerve. I hate saying that because I have a lot of awesome people in my life and I also just try to understand that everyone is different and like Oprah said on her last show "just because you were born gives you worth on this planet". God bless your heart Oprah. I try to keep your words in my mind but it's really hard sometimes when you encounter fucking idiots. So grievancesagainstsociety is an outlet to share your pain with the rest of us.

pagesfoldedover will be a book review site of sorts. I have many books that have made it to my top favorites list. And all of them have tons of pages folded over because that particular page struck me in some way or held significance. I always meant to write about them right away but just as this site lacks frequent updates, those books stayed on my bookshelf waiting to be written about.

postcardsfromhell is also a site I would want you to contribute to. Please send me your stories from vacation or abroad.

It's been an interesting 6 months for me. I went from thinking I was going to be in Costa Rica for a really long time, to deciding to move back home and really missing my friends and family. I went from being completely heartbroken over someone who wasn't even worth my time in the first place to gradually learning to give myself more credit and realizing things don't work out with certain individuals because I deserve way more and am way better than that. Looking back I realize the goals I have made I
actually reached, therefore, setting the bar higher once again and making some goals in my head that I'm certain will eventually be reached. I now realize the sky is not the limit! there are no limits.

Hm...well I don't really know what visual aids to post with this post. I promise I'll get on the picture thing.

Next Stop Miami!

2011-01-22T10:22:00.000-08:00

Could my life get any more interesting? I sometimes think about what I'm going to write on this blog and think nothing quite interesting is going on. But I'm beginning to realize it's quite the opposite. I landed in Orlando six days ago. I was a bit sad when I arrived at O'Hare in Chicago. That's always the case. And when I think about home I get a little teary eyed. But I know home will always be there. Needless to say when I touched down in Orlando that adrenaline rush, that excitement and flurry of being in a new place, washed over me. The roar of jets coming and going and the bustle of the people going to and fro in the airport always gives me a thrill.

I now work for a company called ZV Media. ZV Media does a lot of things. In fact, just about anything tech related they can do. For the most part what I am training to do right now is build out websites. When I say this, I mean there is a process from start to finish when a client signs on to use our company. First we buy the domain for them, then we register all of their information into our database, then we build out a pretty nice site for them and then we open a google applications account for them. Although I'm not programming and doing coding from scratch, I am learning a whole lot about photoshop, css, html and php coding. The company is new, and building every day. I'm not making much from start but I am taking a chance. I really believe in the company and most of all the people running it. My bosses are super cool and very hard working and enthusiastic for business. That's the gut instinct that had me take this opportunity and go with it. Some may think it's crazy to pick and go learn a new profession but really any profession for me is a new profession unless I want to be a paralegal again. I'm happy to have that experience under my belt but I'm not interested in going back into an office five days a week eight hours a day any time soon.

So it's been a week and we've mostly been working but last night I went to my first Ice Bar. We only stayed in the ice room for about ten minutes to take pictures but it was something I had never seen before so it was cool. As always I ran into a few people I know from the house music scene and people that know people that I know back in Chicago and Indiana. I swear I should go into networking. There's rarely a place I go where I don't have some kind of connection with someone. And now? I wake up Saturday morning and get the news. We're driving to MIAMI and the Florida Keys!!! Um. Yea. I am beginning to like Florida a lot. It's weather is amazing...I mean it's warm out and it's the middle of January. It's MISERABLE right now in the Midwest. The weather affects my mood and mental well being like whoa. I wouldn't mind trying somewhere in California too where the weather remains mild but you can access the beach or the mountains within an hour or so drive whichever way. I love mountains. I love the ocean. I must admit I would like to find someone who has the same vision as me. To flit about the world or the country and make a home base in somewhere like California or a place as I just mentioned that is close to mountains and ocean all in a days trip. Or even better, have a place in Chicago and somewhere else. I don't know, just a twosome, a team to make whatever decisions we make together and have someone to do life with. Alas, there are some things you can't buy, money and love. So until then, I continue on my path with me, myself, and I. And all the lovely people I meet and befriend along the way. And what a good life it is. :)

Here's the hilarity for the day....and this is why I fit right in here with these people in Orlando. We laugh every day about something or other. Recently A stumbled upon this website for an "attorney" supposedly here in Orlando. He was joking and sent the guy an email asking him if he wanted us to do a new website for him. Just please check out http://www.bobduljohnsonattorneyatlaw.biz/ Seriously you can't help but chuckle at the very least. Anyway...the guy wrote him back several times with hilarious witty responses. For real the guy should go on a night time talk show. If he is a lawyer, it's an interesting approach for business. lol. BJ, Bobdul Johnson. lmao.

Laughter and Forgetting

2010-09-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

There's a book I read, "The Book Of Laughter And Forgetting". There's a lot of laughter in life. And a lot of forgetting. But how is it that we come to forget the things we forget? Or remember the things we remember? I like laughing. Depends on what I'm forgetting if I like forgetting it or not. Funny thing huh?

Anyway....Central America and all of its peculiarities don't cease to amaze me. I'm made fun of for lawn furniture in my bedroom and suicide showers. Today at my old apartment, where friends of mine now live, there was a nasty sounding snake found in the doorway, literally of their apartment. Black with yellow or red or yellow and red diamonds on it. Small head. Literally between the wooden door that gets shut and the iron gate that sits outside of the door. I've found large frogs/toads in my kitchen sink and under my sink, I've had cockroach madness, and I've seen stingrays in the water, hell, I've even seen a snake on the beach and in the rainforest, but never in between my two doors at my apartment. Creepy. Last night I was sitting in my bed and I saw an ant carrying a small (but bigger than the ant) dead black crunchy looking spider across my wall. The circle of life won, I killed it with my shoe. That won't stop more from wandering around in my house in the jungle.

My favorite store, wait, no, my favorite two stores here are the Libreria and Gollo. The Libreria is kind of a mix between a toy store, a paper store and a craft store. But you can get all sorts of stuff there if you know what they have. Backpacks, toys, games, wrapping paper, notebooks, coloring books, crayons, erasers, drawing paper, paint, glitter, learn Spanish books, Costa Rica hand held flags, memory sticks and SD cards, adapter for international plugs, pens, graph paper, music paper, all sorts of fun crafty stuff. Gollo is magic. I bought a mirror for $8 where the hardware store (Ferreteria) wanted $40 for a cheap flimsy mirror. Gollo is the answer to every cost effective person's dream in Jaco. Ashtrays, makeup, dog beds, closet organizers, candle holders, towels, linens....i guess it's just like a walmart or target but cheaper and smaller. Hard to explain, kinda like a dollar store.

Yep, now I lay in my bed and look at my beautiful green surfboard and hope that I can get all my work done so I can go surfing soon. It's very interesting to reflect on how I felt when I left Jaco and how I felt when I arrived in Chicago and how I felt when I left Chicago and now how I feel upon my arrival in Jaco this time. I've met new people, got to know others that I felt farther away from before whom now I am closer to, both here and back home. Life is so interesting isn't it? Kinda had a doldrum day but thinking about how weird and fun life is makes me remember, and laugh. :)

Sleepy Daze Blogger Madness

2010-07-22T08:24:00.000-07:00

My job is not hard. It simply requires me to post 20 blog entries a day. Currently its 10:30 and I'm on posting #4 with a 2 year old on my lap. It's no different in Chicago. Friends call, they stop by, they want to gchat, I distract myself with boxes to pack. Hmmmm...it's REALLY hard to tell the kids no, that if they let me be for three hours I can play with them the rest of the day. They don't understand that concept and I hate trying to explain it because all I WANT to do is play with them. Speedy blogging speedy blogging today Staci!

Guess that means I shouldn't be posting on here. But I want to. So I am. I am on my computer now. Meaning not the mini Dell, the nice big functioning Dell. It is soooooo nice. I miss it. I have to start my sister's computer over first before we trade computers back but I can't WAIT for the day.

Going for surf and turf tonight. Lobster and steak. I'm excited. I supposed other than that I don't have much surface talk to talk about. I always have something more observant or poignant to say, but that could take hours, of which I don't have right now. Usually I think of things as they are occurring and then forget when I want to blog. Still looking for something to give readers a laugh. I seem to recall busting a gut yesterday but I'll have to remember what it was about. Until then, keep it real. I'll give y'all full status reports of Innnddiaaana....ohhhh and there will be an earful that's for sure!

My Life The Earthquake

2010-07-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

For those of you who didn't know, I witnessed my first earthquake in Costa Rica. It wasn't damaging and I didn't know what was happening until it was over. It felt like vertigo. I'm using this parallel to describe my life right now. My life is not an 8.2 on the richter scale, but I definitely feel vertigo between the two worlds I'm living in. As I've said before, I don't feel weird being home but...how to clarify...the anxiety level I used to experience here has returned. I didn't sleep but two hours last night. My mind is here, in Chicago, trying to keep everything paid and in balance, in addition to work and seeing family and friends. All of this is stressful enough, just in a normal sort of way but at the same time I have anxiety about returning to Costa Rica. I won't get into the reasons, but I have them. All I wanted when I came home to Chicago was to feel comfortable, at home, no stresses. The same is what I want in Costa Rica. In fact, home is supposed to be a comfort zone. That neutral zone when you can shed everything else and slip into your own. I'm very sensitive to energy and home is one of the most important places to create positive energy. If that is off balance, I am off balance and it's not such a great time.

On another front, I am going to Indiana in about ten minutes. Going to have to finish this now or I will miss the train. I'm already late but that's because I barely slept last night. I have 25 posts to do and my brain is all over the scene. This is one thing I like about CR. I don't have all of these things to think about. The here and the now is much easier there. Can't wait to go camping and drink some whiskey, dance with some hillbilly's and rock out to some GREAT music. Pictures to follow my friends.....sorry no funny, witty stuff today. Not a lot of time but wanted to say hi!

Perspective

Back to the perspective thing. Maybe this won't be a book. I'm reflecting on my writings and they just seem like journal entries to me. But I do have another idea for another book and I'm still going to pursue my initial concept of All In Rhythm hence "Perspective". I don't know where any of it is going....I just want to write. Perhaps I will be dispensing a dose of my own medicine as I write about perspective so take note, I'm probably the most self-aware person you know. When I step outside who I am to logically speak about an issue, I'm aware that it's easier said than done so I'll call myself out on it when necessary.

Dictionary definition:

the state of one's ideas, a mental view or prospect: example: the dismal perspective of terminally ill patients.

Soooo....really the idea of quantum physics ties into perspective and reality. Yes, I just went there. I have always known that the mind is much more powerful than people give it credit for. There was a large chunk of my life where I pushed away all of the things I had believed from birth to say maybe age 25....somewhere along the way I thought it was all poppycock. But since graduating ....maybe like 2003 and experiencing the real world....there's a reason why they say be careful what you wish for. Because your mind, not God or Allah is what creates your world. Finish thoughts later, late for train. peace and love my young padouins.

Perspective & Booty Pops

2010-07-13T08:24:00.000-07:00

Before I meander into the rantings of my mind, let me ask you WHAT THE HELL IS A BOOTY POP? I know WHAT it is, but the real question is WHY? Ok ok ok, I get it. America is the capitalist pig nation of consumers and sellers, one wanting to always look like or be someone who they are not and the other wanting to make as much money as possible. I get it. But why in the hell are they advertising for a fake booty in the Bed, Bath & Beyond weekly flyer that comes in the newspaper? I'm dumbfounded. Seriously. Thank you parents for endowing me with a perfectly nice and round booty. I would be so embarrassed if I had to wear a Booty Pop!

Whew. There's a lot going on. I've been back in Chicago foooor....six days now. It's been difficult to get into a routine for my job in online reputation management. A combination of the air conditioning, my nice comfortable bed and the daunting number of tasks I have to accomplish before leaving for Costa Rica again makes my head spin. But as usual, I manage. Today I was given a new responsibility and my pay will increase by $100 more a month! That may not seem like a lot, but when you are operating on nearly nothing, it means the world (and food in my stomach) to me!

One this is for sure, being home has opened up a whole new set of realizations about myself, my friends, and how I want to live my life versus how I was living it before. I've ended friendships, I've chosen my own path and I've done things other people will consider insane forever. And I am still here to tell the story.

Anyway...Chicago is alive and well. The only wheels I have are rollerblades so my legs are gonna be hot hot hot when I'm done with this city. :) Surfing and rollerblading....GOOD combinations for exercise! I've been to High Dive, Streetside, and tonight I am getting a six pack with Katie and we are going to study Spanish in the park. My intellectual muscle is being flexed with vigor and I am very happy about that. I am dying to get to Indiana and give my nephews a BIG GIANT hug and sloppy sloppy kisses. I don't think I am going to let them go. They might just be hanging on my back when I get back to Costa Rica. Oh how I would love to teach Karlo how to surf. My little man. Love you Karlo!

All in all, everyone has shown me the love. At my barbeque Katie held for my return there were best friends of mine who hadn't even met other best friends of mine. How does that happen? I start to realize that I am like the social glue sometimes. It's a good feeling, but I hope everyone continues to remain family in my absence.

Still prosing and writing more for my book in my head. Perhaps tomorrow I will get on with the "Perspectives" chapter. What is life than merely the perspective you see it through? :)

I will have gas on Saturday! Hot bath, meal in the oven....new roommate. Life is good.

Sweet Home Chicago

2010-07-10T09:44:00.001-07:00

Everyone keeps asking me if it's weird to be home. The answer in short is no. The longer answer is yes. lol. Yesterday was pleasant. I ran into a friend from Jaco going to San Jose with his girlfriend and the 2 hour ride to the airport flew by. On the plane, a very smart little 6 year old girl talked my ear off. Actually, we had a mutual conversation. She quizzed me on some things....I got all the answers right and she gave me a piece of gum as the prize. She sang me a song in Afrikaan and French. She speaks English, French and Spanish. She told me three boys like her at school and gave me dating advice. We talked about all the places we had been in Costa Rica and Nicaragua. She was matter of fact about her trip to Panama. Told me her mom had been to Egypt and she was really impressed with her mom. We exchanged email addresses! Turns out her mom is from Spain and is a professor to keep her visa here. Nice people.

On the second plane a four year old was on his way to China and was commenting on being on a plane. I can't hear you there's something in my ears (ears popping). Then he started going whoaa whoaa whoaaa why is the plane falling? (as it was turning). Needless to say he kept me occupied.

Home still looks like home, minus a few plants and herbs and not knowing where some of my stuff is but for the most part it's home. I would like to cook but have no gas. What to do, what to do? I am going to splurge and go to my favorite taco joint in Chicago. Of which I can't remember the name, EVER, but luckily I remember where it is. I'm glad it's Saturday. I'm going to catch up on work, rifle through all of my things, enjoy my yellow living room and take a cold shower! I'll get around to fixing computer viruses and stuff LATER. :)

All In Rhythm

2010-07-08T13:27:00.000-07:00

I have finally put pen to paper, so to speak. I've come up with the idea to title my book, All In Rhythm based on the idea that life itself is rhythm and keeping in rhythm is crucial to living a fulfilled life. Going back home to Chicago tomorrow and lots of changes have occurred since I left Chicago. My thoughts might get deep sometimes but don't worry, I'll take you to places that are so hilarious you will fall off your chair laughing too. And well, just in general I'm going to be blogging more. Lot of good things going on right now all of which you will find out about in due time. For now, All in Rhythm.......

April 2010

When I told my dad I was going to live in Costa Rica for 3 months he told me I was crazy. I told him life is short, the world is big. There's nothing cliche nor mundane about this statement. Life is SERIOUS. Now that statement is loaded with irony. A friend and I use this phrase "that's serious" or "life is serious" when shit happens in life and then we laugh hysterically. Because really, these things that happen in life are really never as serious as they seem. I'm not talking starving or being in a war torn country, yes that kind of is serious. I'm talking like when you lock your key in your car or your hard drive on your computer crashes.

Anyway, five months later, a cultural world away still and I'm on a bus, headed to Nicaragua, tears in my eyes. Not bad, not good, how else can I describe in words tears of life. You think a large wave crashing to the shoreline in the ocean is powerful, but nothing can compare to those moments of awe I feel about life. I'm gazing out the window watching dry Costa Rican countryside fly by. Earlier today I went into my place of employment near Jaco, granted I was stoned but I had one of those moments again and I almost lost it. In one moment my brain is fiddling with worry over filing my taxes, figuring out how to keep and pay my car insurance back home, how I'm going to survive for a month when I get back to Chicago, how I can save $20,000 to pay off my debt, get dental work and go to yet another country to live for another 6 months. Because if I don't go again, I'll suffocate.

So yea, mind fiddling with worry sitting at my job waiting to catch a ride to the border with my friends, and then the wave of life hit me. I think about hugging my nephews, my sisters, my parents, my friends. I think about laying in the park by my house in the fall, gazing up at magnificently colored trees, rich hues of yellow (much like my living room) red, brown and orange. Climbing trees. The random summer nights of O.E. on my back porch, my cousin in California. Deep thoughts. The world. Growing my own food. Laughing so hard in Costa Rica I seriously thought my face would fall off. Making a conscious effort to keep things in the here and now. And everything's gonna be all right. It always is and your mind manifests what the universe provides you.

The last three statements in particular are ones I instrinsically and soulfully know to be true but have continously had a hard time actualizing in my life. Well, particularly the "everything's gonna be all right" I've always been wound up and worried about everything. Over thinking everything and carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders is serious. *insert laugh*. I can't say that I'm not still wound up, nor can I say I don't think a lot. I think about thinking. Not sure if it's a Capricorn thing or just the way I was born, but it's a blessing and a curse. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Thank hormonal fluctuations for my extreme motions today because I've done it. I've started writing again. I don't know the first thing about what human kind is supposed to do with life, but then again, maybe I do and just don't give myself enough credit. I certainly have enough thoughts and theories on life and all it's components, both esoterical and mundane. The only memo I'm gving you about my writing is that I'm ADD as hell and a stoner. So sometimes I'll run off on a tangent, or switch subjects only to come full circle and finish what I was previously talking about. Truly everything me is quixotic, neurotic, erratic, non-static.

July 2010

I had no intention of waiting this long to begin writing again. I haven't even read what I wrote for three months. You're not going to even believe this it sounds so fictional. In three short months I've managed to somehow find a job that I can do online, anywhere in the world. I am renting a beach house on the Pacific in Costa Rica. I am going home to Chicago in two days after being gone for 7 months and I'm coming back to Costa Rica in August to live in this beach house with 2 incredibly amazing people I can't even begin to touch that story this early in the book. I have no phone, all my credit cards are maxed out, my student loan is three months due, I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent back in Chicago (my current job is meager pay but I got a raise and will be making enough in about six months), and I have only the slightest bit of concern. Concern that creating things back home to take care of all of this stuff and more (like packing up my apartment, selling my car and finding subletter for my apartment) is going to stress me out because I've become accostumed to a slow pace of life here in Costa Rica. I'm not concerned with how I will take care of those things as I previously would have been raving mad. How did this happen is all I'm left wondering with a smile on my face.

I came to Costa Rica seeking something. Seeking many things. I had ambition to find a purpose. Everything from birth to now is the culmination of this junction in my life. I've found more than my wildest dreams. And I found that having less has given me so much more. I couldn't help but want to share my experience with the world and hopefully inspire someone to get off their ass and do what they've always dreamed of doing.

Motion is a powerful energy. We are all in rythym. The ocean is a rythym and your heart beating and blood pumping through veins is rythym. There's a reason why humans feel the need to dance and sing and make music. Because life is rythym.

Chapter One: Perspective

Born and raised in Northwest Indiana, living in Chicago for the past 13 years of my 34 years of life, I had a great childhood. I am super blessed for the way I was raised and the love and support and sacrifice on my parents part to raise 3 smart, polite, itelligent and very aware girls. We didn't have a lot of money and of course like every other family dysfunctional in a functional way. I wouldn't trade the days of mismatched socks, thriftstore clothes or camping trips to Kanakakee River for anything in the world. We saved here and there but we got to do everything we always wanted. I was in every sport imagineable. I tried out a musical instrument one summer. All of this costs money and my parents did what they had to do to allow their children creative freedom. So if a vacation was made out of our trip to Tennessee for my sisters softball tournament then so be it that was vacation. I loved it. As long as I was with my family and we left our home city it was exciting for me. I can't say that I didn't know any better because I did. I was the curious kid whose passport was books and curiosity. Oh and VHS tapes. I remember when I was sick and had to stay home from school I would ask my mom to get travel videos from the library for me. I would watch videos about Greece, Ireland, Italy or wherever.
Anyway...enough about me.

Perspective in life makes all the difference in the quality of your life. If you are negative and pessimisti

Writer Without Borders -- In These Times

2010-05-04T08:48:00.000-07:00

Writer Without Borders
By SCOTT WITMER

Eduardo Galeano disdains borders, both in life and in literature. Exiled from his native Uruguay after the 1973 military coup, he returned to Montevideo in 1985, where he continues to live and write. Galeano’s books subvert the distinctions between history, poetry, memoir, political analysis and cultural anthropology. With a graceful sense of craft, he uses “only words that really deserve to be there” to convey a humanely moral perspective on matters both personal and political. His writing honors the experiences of everyday life as a contrast to the mass media that “manipulates consciousness, conceals reality and stifles the creative imagination … in order to impose ways of life and patterns of consumption.” By multiplying seldom heard voices, Galeano refutes the official lies that pass for history—his work represents an eloquent, literary incarnation of social justice.

His most recent book, Voices of Time: A Life in Stories (Metropolitan Books), combines 333 prose poems into a fluid mosaic of humor, despair, beauty and hope. During a recent visit to Chicago, Galeano talked with In These Times about his life and work.

Your book Open Veins of Latin America (1971) analyzes the brutal exploitation of Latin American resources by the U.S. and European powers. That book, now a classic, was published at the beginning of an especially turbulent period of Latin American history. What was your life like at that time?

I was working as a journalist, always in independent jobs, working for weeklies—the mad adventures of independent journalism. So I earned my living quite difficultly, writing other things or editing books on the sexual life of bees, or something like this. I was also working in the publishing department of the University of Montevideo. And at night I went home to work on the book. It took four years of researching and collecting the information I needed, and some 90 nights to write the book.

Did you ever sleep?

I suppose I did not. I remember now, I was drinking rivers of coffee. Later I developed an allergy to coffee, but fortunately I overcame it, and now I’m a very good coffee drinker. I love it.

You were then forced into exile in Argentina, where you edited Crisis.

In the beginning of 1973, I was in jail for a short period in Uruguay and I decided prison life was not healthy, so I went to Buenos Aires. The magazine was a beautiful experience. We invented it with a small group of friends, trying to open a new way of speaking about culture.

Did you continue to publish when the military regime initiated censorship?

For two or three months, and after that it was impossible to go on. We were obliged to choose between silence and humiliation. We could stay alive if we accepted the obligation to lie, or we could shut up. We decided to shut up entirely and not pretend to be free, because that would give an alibi to the military regime to say, “See, there is freedom of expression here.” Many members of our staff were killed or disappeared or jailed or went into exile, and so it was a good decision to go away and abandon it. We left behind a very good memory of an exceptional cultural magazine. We showed that it was possible to have a different conception of culture. Not culture made by professional people to be consumed by non-professional people, like workers or anonymous people. Instead, we were trying to hear their voices. Not only to speak about reality, but asking reality, “What would you tell me?” This conversation with reality was the key to our success. That’s why one of the first decrees of the military regime was to forbid the diffusion of “non-specialized opinions.” We were trying to show that the best voices come from non-specialized mouths.

In the middle of 1976, I was obliged to fly away from Argentina because I was supposed to be on the death squad list to be killed. Many of my friends had been killed, and being dead is so boring, so I chose exile in Spain.

In Spain you began writing the Memory of Fire trilogy, an epic tapestry covering more than five centuries of American history and culture. What motivated you to undertake such a monumental project?

It scared me at the beginning. It was first conceived as a way to tell Latin American history. Then a close friend of mine, the Argentinian poet Juan Gelman, told me, “Why not go with all Americas, not just South America or Central America? We share a common origin and a lot of common stories interlinked, and we may perhaps have a common destiny. Not the official destiny built by the professional liars inside the sanctuaries of power, but a counter-history could help to find a counter-destiny.” He tempted me with his words and so I covered all the Americas as a way of promoting the fact that “America” is all America, from Alaska to Chile.

Immigration, which remains a crucial issue in the United States, recurs as an important motif in your new book, Voices of Time. Could you talk about how immigration is perceived in Latin America as opposed to how it is perceived here?

It always depends on your point of view. Immigration may be perceived as a menace, as intrusion, or as a legitimate right. We are all immigrants. Except for a few black people in South Africa, we all come from some other part of the world. We all come from Africa, which is not good news for the ignorant racists. I’m sorry, but we have all been blacks once upon a time. So we are all immigrants. This is our way of life since forever. It’s the same with butterflies, with animals, with birds. We humans are the only ones that create borders for immigration, saying, “You cannot go inside this line. This is the end of a country, and here begins another one.” I’m afraid our time will be remembered as a sad period of human life in which money was free, but people were not.

Why are we seeing a resurgence of the left in Latin America?

This is the popular will, the will to change reality. They have been cheated by all those years of so-called liberal experience, which is not liberal at all. It’s just liberal for money. And it won’t be easy to get out of it, because we have become prisoners of what I call “the culture of impotence.” It’s very difficult in Latin America to build a democracy after so many years of military terror and in a non-democratic world that will veto your attempt to change something. The experts will come. Not soldiers, now—experts. Sometimes experts are even more dangerous than soldiers. They say, “You cannot. The market is irritated. The market may be angry.” It is as if the market is an unknown but very active and cruel god punishing us because we are trying to commit the cardinal sin of changing reality.

Just look at Evo Morales, the president of Bolivia. Bolivia was the richest country in all of the Americas at the beginning of the conquest period. They were the owners of the silver, which made possible the enrichment of Europe. Bolivia is now the poorest country in South America. Her richness was her main damnation. Morales is now trying to break with this shameful and humiliating tradition of always working for another’s prosperity. When he nationalized the gas and the oil, it was a scandal all over the world. “How could he? It’s terrible!” Why is it terrible? Because recovering dignity is a cardinal sin. But he’s also committing another cardinal sin: He’s doing what he promised he would do. We in Latin America are suffering with special intensity the divorce between words and facts. When you say yes, you do no. When you say more or less, you do less or more. So facts and words are never encountering each other. When they pass each other by random accident, they don’t say, “Hello, how are you?” because they have never met before. We are trained to lie. We are trained to accept lies as a way of life.

You have said, “Reality is not destiny; it’s a challenge. … We are not doomed to accept it as it is.” How do we avoid becoming cynical when change seems impossible?

By keeping alive the memory of dignity. It’s the only way. By telling and repeating that we are not born last year; we are born from a long tradition of betrayals, but also a long tradition of dignity. Here in Chicago, for instance, it is important to recover the memory of May First. The first time I came here, years ago, I was amazed that most people I encountered didn’t know that this universal worker’s fiesta—at once a tragedy and a fiesta, an homage paid to the Haymarket martyrs at the end of the 19th century—came from Chicago. And Chicago has deleted this memory, which is so important for the entire world. In present times, it’s more important than ever, because each May First, crowds and crowds of people, different languages, different cultures, different continents, all celebrate the right to organize. Nowadays, the most important enterprises in the world, like Wal-Mart, forbid unions. They are deleting a tradition of two centuries of working-class fights. It’s important for Chicago and for the entire world to recover memory. Not to visit it, like when you visit a museum, but to get from it fresh water for your thirst for justice, for beauty. It’s a way of knowing that tomorrow is not just another name for today, because yesterday tells you that time is going on.

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Scott Witmer lives in Chicago. He is currently working on a comic book about the life of socialist agitator Eugene Debs.

READER COMMENTS
The experts will come. Not soldiers, now “experts’ . Sometimes experts are even more dangerous than soldiers. They say,
”“You cannot. The market is irritated. The market may be angry.””
It is as if the market is an unknown but very active and cruel god punishing us because we are trying to commit the cardinal sin of changing reality.
When I hear our frog politicos, and yours, exhorting all of us to be ever-more competitive, I can now identify them more clearly as the acolytes of a cruel religion, demanding sacrifice of all that makes us human, like so many cattle going to the slaughter.
The destruction of memory and critical intelligence is a vital part of their campaign, as they work to dumb us all down into accepting their , and only their, History.
Follow the links back, forward and sideways from this analysis of the modern “MIS- education system” by John Taylor Gatto (merci bcp, wileywitch)
Chomsky wrote this
...it was like falling into a black hole or something. For one thing, it was extremely competitive -because that’s one of the best ways of controlling people. So everybody was ranked, and you always knew exactly where you were: are you third in class, or maybe did you move down to fourth? All of this stuff is put into people’s heads in various ways in the schools -that you’ve got to beat down the person next to you, and just look out for yourself.
here .
How many Americans have read Howard Zinn’s Peoples History of The USA ? ( required reading in our local university first year. for students of english. Merci , daughter)
In their achieving that , we become eminently manipulable, willing victims for the simplistic soundbite of the TV Politician.
Dumb animals give way easily to fear and panic—try moving a flock of sheep.
PS I’d already recognised the (sincere ? ) Globalistas as possessed by an ideology, but the religion of the Cruel God is more apt.
WORSHIPPERS of THE INVISIBLE HAND.
Morons.

PS what is this with the german flag ? Frog is in frogland .
Posted by frog on Jul 18, 2006 at 6:26 AM

Long time ago, I read “Memory of fire”, it was in time when other rules order my country. Now in this age, in this reality this book appear much rich in spirit of contradiction. A couple of days in time, in my country was a referendum (election day), not important result of this election, important is intern concern (like a “civil war”, may not in true sense), but in my mind was Latin America, was Uruguay in “1800 autumn”! Thanks for this book, for a history far, far away from this! Thanks Eduardo Galeano!
Posted by VIZI on May 21, 2007 at 4:00 PM

It's Been Awhile

2010-03-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

I've been in Costa Rica now for...what, almost 5 months. Super homesick and at the moment realizing what life in Costa Rica REALLY consists of. People coming and going, in and out of your life. I've resumed blogging with some inspiration from the wifey. The first four months here were observation and fun. Then I got a job. And now that I know my halfway point has passed, I'm looking forward to being back home. I've always been one to get attached to people and places and I am also dealing with coming home to a blank slate, literally. I have no idea how I'm going to make money, I don't have a cell phone anymore, I won't be able to afford car insurance for a few months and I DONT want to return to the same lifestyle I had before, meaning I would rather NOT work 9-5 M-F.

Hmmm....I think it's been so hard for me to return to my blog because so much has transpired between then and now I don't even know where to start. But in the spirit of not giving up, I'm just going to start with right here, right now.

I haven't been in a bad place, per se, but I have definitely having a little anxiety about my future in all aspects. I am realizing the truth to what I have always believed in, which is the universe will provide for what is needed and that thoughts create things for us. I've always been one who has conceptually known this since I was a small child but after having lived it a few times literally not knowing where I was going to live or how I was going to eat, I lived it instead of reading it in a book. AND I'm surrounded by good people right now whom continually remind me of laughter and happiness and thinking positive thoughts. I think that's my biggest issue....when I begin to get down or become hard on myself for what I'm not doing or what I should be doing or why I don't have something whatever it be (Masters Degree, true love, no debt...) I instead should replace these thoughts with what I do have, what I have done.

Anyway...I just came off a long week of hard partying, not gonna lie. It was amazing fun. It was "Zion's" birthday. 30th birthday at that. I love being part of people's important memories. Not that he can remember the whole thing but hey, he knows I was there. lol. The whole time I was in Costa Rica I refrained from becoming friends with foreigners...I was here to experience local culture. And then I met the Swedes. I fell off the Jaco map and took up semi-residence in Hermosa and the land of the Swedes. In fact, I have to check myself and stay in Jaco sometimes because I wonder if I'm wearing out my welcome. ha ha. And of course they are dj's/independent entrepreneurs/house music fanatics/like minded/off beat/abnormal people like my dear friends back home. Never fails, everywhere I go, the house community rears it's beautiful head. I can NOT say enough good things about those boys. I want them to adopt me and let me come live with them in Sweden for awhile. I'll be the cook/housekeeper and they can just make me laugh all day long. love. love. love. So yea, without implicating anyone I can't really tell all my stories on here but I will say I went to a strip club and had my first lap dance while hanging with these crazy people (I'm not crazy....BWWHAAAHHHA)

My friend Maghen I met while I was down here and ironically is living in Chicago when she leaves here. I'm so fucking happy to have a fellow Costa Rica friend to share my experience with. I'm getting sad thinking about everyone leaving but it makes me happy to know I can share my memories with her. And obviously hang out at a time when Chicago is literally the best city in the world.

I am sorry if anyone back home feels slighted because I haven't called or kept in close contact with. The pace here is different. The motivation is considerably less...it's like ocean early morning, sleep or rest and then chill. And usually when that occurs there is no internet around.

Aaahhhh I'm rambling now. I'm just in a weird mood. Not feeling witty, interesting or anything else for that matter at the moment. Got a lot going on in my head which would all sound nonsense to the casual observer. So I refrain. Emotions are but a passing feeling, like clouds in the sky. Love you all, miss you all, every minute of every day, near and far.

Manana. Pura Vida.

2009-12-20T12:19:00.001-08:00

Hmmmm....ok. Well, the internet connection here doesn´t allow me to upload photos so all I´ve got left are my words. As we speak there is a cat being neutered in the front hall of the house I am staying at. Yes, it´s true. So let´s see, ok, I´m in Jaco, which is on the Pacific. We are literally in a house ON the beach. It´s old, barely functioning but there´s a lovely cold shower and this is in all earnesty I say lovely cold shower when days are sweltering.

Jaco gave me Manana y Pura Vida. As you know my hard drive on my computer crashed. I got Dell to agree to send a tech from the Latin American office to come put a new hard drive on my computer. Alas, that was last week and I have yet to set up the appointment. A Tico told me that here everything gets done tomorrow. Looks like I´m assimilating well. I have been saying I will do a lot of things tomorow. Sorry for the spelling errors, I´m just too fed WHOA holy shit sorry but when I was typing there was something crawling on my foot and it was a HUGE spider freak me out en serio. omg....uguguaugdjgadjjasfjkdkhdg ñajrytj. There was a HUGE SPIDER ON MY FOOT. Ok, and guess what that is a first. Add it to the list. I also can add to the list of things Ive done in my life waking up in the lobby of a hostel that I am not even staying at. Yes, it´s true. Granted there is a bed in the lobby and I am friends with the people that work there, nonetheless, I stayed in the lobby of a hostel and didnt pay for it. lol.

Yea, this posting is all over the place. Because that´s what my life is like at the moment. I was supposed to go for my first surfing lesson at 3 today but it´s raining like crazy. So what do I say....aaahhh tomorrow.

I sit here and question my beliefs and what is important in life and what I might want next. These experiences help to shape and mold such questions and answers. I really suggest everyone try it once...traveling for a month or two and living life in another cultures shoes. That´s all for right now. Im too busy glancing down every five seconds to make sure the spider isnt getting ready to strike. ha ha. ciao! pura vida.

Cold Shower, Six Pack of Tecate, Trees, Solitude, Bug Spray & Intentions

2009-12-04T16:19:00.000-08:00

I wrote this when I got back from Cancun. Ironically, since then my computer hard drive has crashed. ha ha. Im on my way out the door to a lights festival and parade in San Jose, Costa Rica. Argh. So much happened, is happening and will happen. Trying to get back to more solitude and writing. I think its about to happen. Anyhow...heres rants and muses on Cancun.

I wish I had a chair. There are a lot of things I wish I had that I miss back home in Chicago. One of them being a chair. My friends place is great. $150 for a studio room...it has a little alcove that fits her bed and has maybe 1 1/2 feet on the side to set things down and she closes it off with a rod hanging from the ceiling that she put a curtain on. In the main part of the studio room she has a refrigerator and her dj equipment and clothes and things. It has worked out well. My suitcase is on the other side of the room by the fridge and her clothing is on the opposite side of the room. So when she is getting ready for work and I don't need my things we put my air mattress up against the wall on my side of the room. When she leaves, we put the air mattress on her side of the room so I can have access to my stuff. I still wish I had a chair so I could sit outside and write. My circulation keeps getting cut off sitting on the ground and crossing my legs. Anyway....I have come to realize I have been way too caught up in Facebook and my email. I have lost the intent that I came here with. To write. Every time I get on the computer all of a sudden three hours have gone by. Not to mention today was the first time I walked up and down Juarez street in Playa Del Carmen and there are so many things I discovered today on that short walk to La Farmacia to get my pinche but spray. Mostly mundane discoveries like where the lavandarias are and the hardware store, the pet store so on and so forth. But I really need to focus more on being here and on writing. So tonight, I'm taking a cold shower, I bought a Six Pack of Tecate, I've got my trees, I'm alone with my bug spray and intentions to write. I'm starting to recall the things I miss about home. Rather the "things" I "think" I miss about home. I mean, I wouldn't DIE if I never got to drink another propel, but I'll entertain you with the list of things I miss about home. (Aside from the obvious like family, friends and pets).

*Real dark chocolate
*Guiness (OMG how much I f*ing miss Guiness *tear*)
*Black Cherry Propel (they actually HAVE propel in Mexico it's just different flavors)
*Goat Cheese (also can find it here but it's expensive)
*Drinking water out of the tap (thankfully I can drink the tap water in Costa though)
*Walgreens for a one stop shop on needs for this and that (there's a separate store
out here and in Costa for EVERYTHING. And I missed Walgreens today when I had to go to la farmacia for a tiny weird ass bottle of bug spray when I could have gotten a bottle of Deep Woods Off...the only brand I trust...for $4 instead of this tiny bottle that smells like citron for same price.
*Having a kitchen.
*Being able to buy any ingredient I need at the grocery store.
*Having a variety of choices for inexpensive quick eats.
*My spice rack

Cancun kicked my ass. It sucked me in, chewed me up and spit me out down to the very last moment I was there. I was happy to see my sister but seriously Cancun and I now officially have a love/hate relationship. I arrived on a Sunday and checked into my hostel, the only hostel on the hotel strip. A lot has changed since the last time I stayed in Cancun in the Zona Hotelera. In March I had been here but I was in the city. Well, not much has changed in the Hotel Zone, rather I have changed. Anyway....so checked into the hostel, only 6 people staying there so I had the room to myself. I go down to the lobby to get a good signal for the internet so I can Skype Nicole (sister) and meet up with her. First thing right off the bat, the lobby doors are open and we are literally across the street from the lagoon (aka mosquitos). Within five minutes my ankles and legs once again look as if I have the chicken pox. I was just beginning to heal from my sand flea ordeal. Then I get on a bus and go up to her 5 diamond resort where we naively believe if I just walk in discreetly and act like I'm staying there they won't know the difference. Yea, big mistake. Rule #1, if you don't have any money, you are not welcome in Cancun hotel zone. Period. Not in the resorts, the clubs, even the streets. The vendors hawk passersby, their eyes stare deep into your pockets, and their calls of "hola" are for one thing, to evoke a response in you so they can attempt to lure you into their store. Nobody says hello just to say hello. Needless to say I didn't make it 100 feet into the resort until I was guided to the front desk where I was told I could pay $75 for a 7 hour day pass or $140 for a 12 hour full day pass. Hot, tired, frustrated I waited for Nicole and Karl and I think we took a walk down to the area where the shopping and clubs are just to check it out. I knew it would be a hassle from here on out to coordinate what everyone was doing and meet up or not meet up as the case turned out to be a few times. But you know, I can make the most of any situation. Yea, I had a moment where I was really frustrated and hurt and lonely and bored and pissed off but it was only one day for a few hours. I got over it. I had a great time when I was having a great time and I had a terrible time when I was having a terrible time. Hence, the love/hate relationship with Cancun. I ended up paying the $75 one day, and got to enjoy (and attempt to get my money's worth) the facilities at the Royal Caribe Cancun. Which I am pretty sure I did after two gourmet meals and many drinks later, not to mention the bottle of wine and hard liquor my sister snuck out of there and gave to me. Take that Royal Caribe Cancun.

I definitely had a lot of introspection throughout the five days in Cancun. I'm reading this book "Open Veins of Latin America" which is about the exploitation of Latin America since the day Christopher Columbus set foot on one of the Caribbean Islands. It has always been a constant internal battle of mine to determine whether it's useless to try to fight (in big or small ways) the system or to simply acknowledge it exists but be of the camp that always says "This has been going on ALL over the world since people coexisted on the planet. That's life." I still don't have an answer. I just don't know how anyone could think raping, pillaging, plundering until someone's livelihood is all but dead is ok. I just don't get it. These hotels make BILLIONS of dollars, yet the front door guy only makes $600 a month. And it is justified by the fact that the standards are different here? Or that having these huge resorts is justified because without them the local economy would suffer? All excuses. It's not the Mexicans who own their land and the hotels on them. They are just slaves that get paid slave wages. Then again, aren't we all in some way, shape or form? I guess what I'm really railing on is the injustices of the entire world and how much they piss me off. Including myself and people who are working for someone elses riches. It's too overwhelming for an individual to even care anymore. We just try to carve out a slice of our own happiness with what we've got.

We had a few good party nights for Nicole's birthday. There was some "raucous" behavior exhibited by all. Such juicy tidbits being reserved for private conversations with friends and family. Such as that concerning a said limo, or throwing things out windows, into fans....random characters we met on the street that gave us things we needed, beer dumped on each other in public... so on and so forth. ha ha ha. I met two interesting people (when do I NOT meet interesting people) at my hostel. One, the president of El Caribe hostel association and owns 8 hostels, bars, restaurants and a surf shop. He seemed a little off at first, a loud, rude Aussie who stormed into the lobby cursing up a storm at the woman at the front desk who apparently runs the place. I found it disgusting and felt bad for the lady. Later that night I was talking to the front desk guy and the Aussie overheard me and we had a cigg outside. When we were done, he said "Do you smoke?". lol. What do you think I said? So we went by the lagoon and I, bottle of wine in hand, and he, a drink in hand bullshitted for a few hours, we *smoked* and I racked his brain for the business tips of owning hostels. He said Cancun is a place for anyone to make money, and it's stupid money. Basically bottom line is that I've put on my list of goals for the next ten years to own a few hostels. And not own as in own the building, but buy the lease from an already existing hostel. I think I got enough information from him to know what's up.

The beaches are really messed up in Cancun from the hurricane. It's insane. And apparently the government closed down most of the beaches for renovation even though there is enough beach to allow people to enjoy. I JUST missed the hoopla when I paid the $75 to go to my sisters hotel but there was a protest by the people, news cameras, journalists, etc....because the government had been promising they were going to open the beaches because clearly locals and tourists alike were getting pissed off they didn't have access to any beaches.

By the way, to dispel the rumors or the denials...either way...you CAN get some drugs in Mexico that you can't get in the States over the counter. Particularly at this one chain store called Drugs & Deli. Go figure. I hear from some people you can, from some you can't, well it's confirmed. Want some Xanax, vicodin, viagra, soma, tramadal, etc...and Drugs & Deli is your store. Just in case you needed to know that.

I did get to go to the beach a couple of times and the beach is what makes it all the more worth it. Despite all of the not so positive aspects of Cancun Hotel Zone, it all melts away when you're sitting on a white sand beach with crystal clear blue waters spread out in expanse before you. Breathe in....mmmmm.....aaahhhhhh. Exhale.

I've got a lot on my mind. Don't know if I mentioned it before but never fails whenever I am away from home I seem to be reading books that correlate with the recurrent themes throughout my trip. Right now I'm reading "The Rural Life" which is all about a man and his farm and his writings about life on a farm. Each chapter is a different month on the farm and how obsessive farmers plot their land, know the trees and the grasses and nature. Nature certainly has been a recurrent theme in my trip thus far. And also the book previously mentioned Open Veins of Latin America.

I won't get into the books and their intricate correlations now except for one part of The Rural Life. It is sometimes hard to write these blogs. A lot of self analysis goes into it. And erasing when I read a draft. Like tailoring my thoughts to myself to appear or not appear a certain way to the small but still seemingly judgmental audience. Not that any of you are judgmental in a bad way, but we're all judgmental to a certain point and let's face it, writing is about the barest of bare arts you will find. Paintings can be interpreted and yes, words too, but writing bares all. I like the writing style of the author, Verylyn Klinkenborg, which he comments in January, "Many of the great journals - I think especially of Samuel Pepy's seventeenth-century diary and James Boswell's eighteenth century journal-are not marked by self-consciousness. They're marked by a dogged absence of self consciousness, a willingness to suspend judgment of the journal itself, if not of its author, in order to keep the enterprise going. both men wrote for an audience of one." In the spirit of Klinkenborg, fuck it. I write, I curse, I spew thoughts that one might never hear if I didn't let you into my brain. For better or worse, dumb or smart.....

Here's a cute video I took on the beach. This man basically pimps his monkey out to tourists for photos for $10.00 a pop. And after this video is some pictures of the fun times we had cuz we're crazy.

So I am coming closer to figuring out my goals and just like I said Cancun chewed me up and spit me out....while I was waiting for a bus to get back to Playa Del Carmen it torrential downpoured on me. Fuck you very much Cancun. Sorry, like I said, had a great time but it just made me laugh at the end. I was like this is heaven and hell all at the same time. Good times exclamation point.

I had a wonderful time in Playa Del Carmen. I shall elaborate another time. Ciao love u and miss you all.

Slacking...Scratching....Salsa

2009-11-25T11:07:00.000-08:00

Ugh. I'm STILL scratching from that damned Caribbean bugger whatever the hell it was. To top it off mi dulce sangre is highly favored among the Playa Del Carmen array of mosquitoes. I actually found out what the name of the bug that infested my skin in Costa Rica is called. But I have to find it again, it was in our guidebook...go figure. I think a spider bit me on the head too. But no worries, nothing has poisoned me yet. Or maybe I poisoned it, with the amount of alcohol I've been consuming I am pretty sure whatever bites me will die in a few seconds.

Anyway...I have no idea why blogspot sent out my blog posting from June about Costa Rica wanting to become the first carbon free nation. Ok, it's appropriate, I was just there but I promise I did not request to have that sent out. This site does weird things sometimes I tell you.

It's been a hectic week or so. I still have yet to unveil my two favorite segments of Costa Rica. I'm taking a vacay from my vacay. lol. I will have more time in a couple of days though. Hence the slacking...

And for the record, I love dancing the salsa! mmmmm.....it might be dangerous for me to be in salsa spanish territory for too long. I might fall in love with Costa Rica and not come back. jaja. Ciao!

Drink the water!

2009-11-18T09:53:00.000-08:00

Well, I still have those bites all over my legs and back and arms. They are fading, but I´m beginning to think my friend had some kind of bugs in his house because now Dave has the same mysterious bites all over his legs and arms. We gave all of our clothes to the neighbors tia (aunt) to wash so we are hoping that it will solve the pest problem. We think they might be in our clothes. Ew.

We arrived at Jeffrey´s place yesterday. He is the cousin of a friend of a friend in Chicago. Nice guy and amazing place he has here. Here´s a video of my arrival.

Breathtaking I promise. I explained yesterday that Tilaran is a small town like 15 minutes from San Luis, where the house is where we are staying. I am REALLY loving speaking Spanish. Everyone gives me great hope and they swear their English is worse than my Spanish but I beg to differ. They are just being nice...jaja. Pero es posible que mi espanol es mas bueno tan como el tiempo pasado cuando fui en Costa Rica. Es posible que enseno ingles en este ciudad pequeno. Es muy tranquilo aqui. I am loving this region of Costa Rica. Its perfect weather. Nice and cool at night and in the morning when you want to sleep and hot and humid and gorgeous during the day. The lake is amazing. A few facts about Laguna Arenal:

One of the top 5 best spots for windsurfing in the world!
Average year round temperature is 76 degrees fahrenheit (PERFECT!!!)
Humid and hilly of volcanic origin
More than 1000 species of plants
500 species of animals incluye jaguar, puma, hummingbird, toucan, bass fish
Laguna Arenal generates valuable benefits for local communities such as water, energy
production (they have hydroelectric dam to use the lake for electricity for
surrounding communities....the neighbor works there and is going to take us
there Saturday) conservation wild life, research, education and cultural.
Waterfalls 45 minutes away by bus
Monteverde only 2 hours away by bus
Volcano about an hour away by bus
Lake is 30 kilometers in length (18 miles)
Width is 4 kilometers (roughly 2.5 miles)
It is the largest lake in the country and the 2nd largest in Central America

Some photos

Just a shot on our walk down a gravel road to Laguna Arenal

Taken standing on the shores of the lake

Another shot just on the walk to the lake

This is what the road and some of the houses looked like on the walk down to the lake

The three stores in the village

the central square and park in Tilaran

A view of next door to the house we are staying in

the street we are staying on down the dirt road across the street from the church in San Luis (literally the directions we were given to get to the house.)

View from our front room window

Shot on the walk we took to the lake

Painting on the wall in Tilaran...see the wind mills?

Church in city central

While it is a nice sleepy village, there is also the presence of money or tourism or both. When we took walk to the lake we found a yacht club that offered services like a pool, jet skiis, windsurf lessons, trampoline on the water, kayaks etc...and a fancy hotel that probably costed about $150 a night. In the distance we could see a community of BIG homes, either vacation homes for foreigners or rich Costa Ricans. We wanted to see if we could take a boat to the volcano but it would have been like $300 and we were like ok, going back up the walk to our little abode. But yea, there were a couple more stores and a bar down there but seems like property right on the lake is more expensive. I just need to befriend someone with a boat....would be amazing to take a boat ride on this beautiful lake!!!!

It is very cool to see the people here care so much about the environment. Even in San Jose there are recycling bins everywhere. And like this area of the country the industry is renewable and sustainable energy. They have windmills and hydroelectric dams and such. Costa Rica wants to be the first carbon neutral country. Although it is not without its problems and I will have to get into that in another post, they certainly are doing a good job with the environment.

Despite fears of foreigners to drink water in central or south america...costa rica has some of the purest water in the world. It´s MORE than ok to drink the tap water.

The people in this small town are SO incredibly nice, but I guess you get that if you venture into small town Wisconsin as well. In fact, it reminds me of a Central American Wisconsin where I am right now. Cows, plants, rolling hills, lakes, friendly people. Aaahhh...my own slice of the Midwest in Central America.

We are headed to the Cloud Forest in Monteverde tomorrow and I am SO going to take a tour of the cheese factory. The Quaker community from USA moved to Monteverde in the 50´s to avoid being drafted into the war. They put down roots and created farming communities and now they produce local cheese, meets and vegetables. See what I mean about it being like the Midwest. ha ha.

I continue to learn new things about myself...every day. Every day is an adventure. We opened a wine bottle with a screw and (thanks to Andy Crowe) a screwdriver on my Swiss Army knife. And took ingredients that were "available" and made a wonderful dinner. Sat on the porch at dusk and focused my curiousities on the two people outside. One a teenage boy next door jumping to hit the roof of his house and periodically leaving on his motorcycle to who knows where and then a little boy across the street playing on a pole and jumping on stairs while his family was inside the temple. That is the ONLY action on this street, aside from the goings on of the local pack of dogs and the four or so cows that were next door and across the street. We also imagined shapes in the big tree across the street. Whilst sippin on some Merlot. The country life. Can u dig it?

Hopefully Ill make it to those waterfalls today. Love u and miss you all. Sending postcards soon. Adios!

time keeps on slipping....into the future.....

2009-11-17T07:32:00.000-08:00

Don't have much time. It's 9:30 a.m. and I woke at 6:30 this morning. I've been getting up earlier and earlier every day here. Weird considering I didn't get out of bed until 8:15 to get to work at 9:00 when I had a job. But it's nice to get a head start on the day and what not.

I still don't have the time to describe and communicate my six days in El Caribe but I promise it will be worth it.

We rushed to get to the bus station yesterday to make the 1:45 bus to Tilaran. Turns out it didn't leave until 3:45. In the Coca Cola neighborhood of San Jose (which we had been "warned" of). I meandered around on my own for a bit. Don't believe the hype. Be aware, as I always say, but if there's one thing I've learned on this trip. Don't listen to what other people have to say about a place. Take it into consideration but make your own judgments. I did see a lady having a rather rough day though. Face down on the sidewalk in the middle of the sidewalk wailing at the top of her lungs for a good hour and a half. People just stepped over her or walked around her. Not sure there was much anyone could do. Or if it was even real or a scam. But that's not something that weirds me out, it's happened before in Chicago. But I liked the neihborhood. It was real.

So we had a four hour bus ride to Tilaran. It was the most amazing scenery I've ever seen in my life. It was nearly dusk so the pics didn't turn out but just imagine driving through idyllic mountains, ALL green, rolling landscapes and smoldering looking clouds floating in around and breaking up around the mountain to form a hazy mist. The bus broke down for about fifteen minutes (or there was a problem with the lights) but we were back on track. I read my book when it got dark, thank god, because the bus likes to pass traffic on a two lane road IN the mountains. But hey, they do it every day so I guess all I can do is sit back and relax.

It's weird because people don't care much about music here. Honestly, everywhere I've been it's all about 80's American music. Very strange. And television too. You fail to realize how much American imperialism dominates every corner of global culture. I was watching Greys Anatomy last night and there were commercials for 90210. It almost feels like I'm at home....not TOO much of a culture shock. I'm getting along well with my Spanish. I'm toying with the idea of getting a masters degree in Latin American studies. But as we all know I change my mind every other day.

now for some pics:

This is a flag of the coordinates where our couchsurfer hosts sister was lost at sea. Long story and tugged my heart strings. So sad....she was following her dream of becoming a sailor and a storm hit and they never found any traces of her ship. I took this to remember my friends sister....

the frame of the bamboo house and the roof pieces u can see lying on the ground. It's in the middle of like 30 acres in the rainforest.

and this is the market we went to in Limon. Good food, cheap prices.

That's all for now. I really gotta unplug. time to get a move on.

Seize The Day

2009-11-16T06:57:00.000-08:00

Ummm....yea. Clearly didn't make it back in time to blog. Struck up a fancy of an eve with some hookers, Guiness and dirty gringos. ha ha. Ok well there's this expat bar next door to our hostel and they serve Guiness. Don't ask me why I'm compelled to make friends with hookers but I basically paid a hooker to stay at the bar with us instead of wandering off with this completely wasted guy for a quick buck. Good guy sober but ridiculous when drunk. Meet Manju.

ANYWAY...I don't have much time before our bus to Tilaran arrives so I'm trying to condense as much as possible into an hour. A theme throughout my trip has been recurring....live for today and live it to its fullest. Chase your wildest dreams. Whew. Yea, so I am gonna jump around the sequence of my days....which you could care less cuz it's all the same to you. So we arrived back in San Jose from our AMAZING trip to the Caribbean. There's WAY too much to say about it so I'm going to have to take some time while in Tilaran to even begin to talk about that. Same general theme though, life is too short, follow your dreams and live for today and to its fullest. Like a broken record here I swear...and not just from Tico's. Anyway...I've never been happier though to rent a private room and be in the comforts of a city. It's not so much rural that was the source of relief at being back in the city. More like privacy. I had been sleeping in rooms with at least two other people if not more...and living two days here and two days there. I like to remain located in one spot. And this hostel in San Jose is a sort of familiarity for me at this point. So we get to San Jose, settle in, Dave naps, I take care of some business (like getting a new bank card cuz I have no idea where mine is....great right?) We decide to throw down some Guiness around 6 p.m. and it turns into dinner a couple shots of Caseice (? Costa Rican national drink), Jameson with a few Imperials thrown into the mix of about 6 Guiness. Good times. So the same guy who was plastered and meowing like a cat is actually a good guy and has a very fascinating story. He escaped Sri Lanka because the conditions for living are terrible due to internal conflict in the country. He made it to France and they told him he was Colombian and that they were deporting him back to Colombia. He got to Colombia and they said, you're not Colombian you're Costa Rican and then sent him to Costa Rica. Costa Rica said, you're not Costa Rican, you're Cuban and then told him he was going to have to pay for a ticket to Cuba. He said he had no money and so they said ok, you stay in Costa Rica. Serioiusly this dude had some fucked up shit in his life and he was like the happiest guy in the world. He said over and over and over (and over...typical of a drunk person) how happy he was and how each day is a gift and that friends and family are so important. So yea, but one incident in which this theme was right in my face. Good stuff.

Not so excited about the expats and Americans I met in the bar. I think I feel more at home with the Tico's than these .....dirty old bastards (best description I can muster right now). I'm trying really hard not to be judgemental because this is somethinhg I've learned from the Tico's. A lot of them don't really care what you're into or what you like or dislike so long as you're not hurting anyone. And I've realized I'm slightly judgmental when it comes to certain things. Like coming to Costa Rica to buy cheap hookers and some self esteem. To each his own right? If I can befriend a hooker why is it so hard for me to accept the fat dirty white guy.

I've also noticed that everyone in life has a different level of awareness. I'm not saying this because I think I'm better, by all means, I've got my idiosyncrasies that drive people nuts, but I'm pretty sure my level of awareness of self and of others operates at a level higher than most. Even people I've met who are incredible people, never ceasing to amaze me at what they are accomplishing in life and the things they are aware of...will surprise me again with a lack of awareness in another arena. It's I who have to recognize this and not think differently of them for it. Yea, I think too much about thinking but I can't help it. It's the way I was born. Sometimes I get frustrated when someone doesn't pick up on something or remember something or recognize when they are doing something that causes someone else discomfort but I have to remember that not everyone thinks the way I do.

hmmmm what else happened in the last 6 days? As you can see from my facebook pics I went to a fruit farm where this guy is building a house of bamboo. I was a bit freaked at first after he made sure to show us photos of the poisonous snakes we might encounter and telling us if we did get into a situation to hack it in half with the machete. GREAT. The whole walk over there I was thinking how my mother would NOT approve of this. lol. I loved walking down the road seeing everyone staring at me because I was the only white person for miles. lol. On the flipside, and more serious....people are really poor. It's true, there is a lot of crime against gringos but the truth of the matter is nobody wants to hurt a person and that is not their intent. Most of the time a house is scouted out and then when they know nobody is home they break in to steal valuables to sell and then feed their family. You have to also understand that an influx of foreigners, most of whom have ridiculous amounts of money, move to tropical paradise to live the dream, have flooded Costa Rica over the last twenty years. To make matters worse, they could care less about the Tico's except to hire them to clean their house or take care of their lawn. So the perception of the gringos by the Tico's is a bit askew as well. We had a couple incidents staying with our friend. He is not the typical gringo with money, in fact, he lives closer to the Tico lifestyle....but I'm sure the village inhabitants had seen me and Dave and the two American girls walking back and forth over the course of a few days and word got around. We saw a car sitting idle by the house and came back from the beach. When we got to the house, the car sped off. Another time we saw the same car, at night, parked on the road again and the three guys went outside with machetes....someone got out of the car and apparently saw the guys and got right back int he car and drove off. So it's possible and you really have to be on guard and watch yourself and lookout for your neighbors but all in all there are no brutal crimes against humanity. Just poor people trying to stay alive. Anyway....sorry if I scared any of you, don't worry I'm in REALLY good hands everywhere I've been.

Love you all and I'm off for another adventure. The directions say "when you get off the bus, the dirt road on the opposite side of the church is what you want to walk down. It describes the house and says be flexible as far as your arrival expectations" I'm preparing myself to sleep on the ground outside tonight or ask a random stranger if I can sleep in their house. ha ha. I'm kidding, well sort of. I'm sure we will find what we are looking for, I always do. but just in case, preparing myself mentally for another great adventure. Voy con las estrellas.

City v. Country

2009-11-15T14:33:00.000-08:00

(Day 3 Friday) before leaving for Caribbean

70-ish “bug” (mosquito? Sand fleas?) bites later, miscellaneous cuts and bruises (from jagged coral, heavy backpacks, 18 mile bike rides and who knows what else), I finally escaped the city and tourism. It wasn’t without it’s haggles. But I digress, you will witness the transgression (right word?) in due time. There are gaps in between bustling city life and rural calm. In those few days I learned things about myself, Costa Rica and humanity in general.

Hostels, oh hostels. This is where I left off last. Don’t get me wrong, they serve their purpose. Quite well actually. I mean, a bed to sleep in for $12 is great. Even if you have to sleep in a room with 6 other people. There are drawbacks of course, like not realizing I’m probably the latest night owl ever. Upon return to a room that is quiet and dark and having to fumble through my shit in the dark I realize I should have had things ready before going out. Second note, I highly suggest hostels take my tip and ask people on arrival if they snore. They should put ALL the people that snore into one room. How unfair. It’s like giving priority for days off on holidays to people with children. I don’t know where I drew that parallel but shit, I don’t get to sleep because you snore too loud? Wtf? I was really tempted to pinch their nose, or shake their feet but was too lazy to get out of bed. Lesson #1 I am smart. Ha ha. There are about 5 or 6 things I brought with me on this trip that I am SO happy (pat myself on back) that I brought. Earplugs. Sleep mask. My pillow. A small blanket. And my water shoes. Humph. So instead of harassing fellow hostelers in their sleep, I put on my earplugs.

The next thing about hostels that didn’t really entice me is the party party atmosphere. You know I am a city girl and love a good party. Shit, I am known to be the first one to arrive and the last one to go home. BUT I did not come to Central America to party till the break of dawn with a bunch of college aged kids doing beer bongs and yes, it’s good to meet people from around the world but also not something I came to Costa Rica for. Additionally, everyone (even staff) speaks English, there is internet access galore, Americanized meals at the hostel restaurant, basically, staying at a hostel is nothing short of spring break in Cancun. A falsely created sense of paradise with the securities of home. Again, there is NOTHING wrong with that if that is what you are after. Everything has it’s place in this world (something I’m coming to terms with) but it is just not for me. At least not on this trip.

Our last night in San Jose was a preface to the division of people I began to meet in Costa Rica. It seems as if there are a distinct two types of people. The fearful, frightened, paranoid foreigners who will tell you to their dying breath that you can’t EVER trust a Tico and if you let them, would convince you to go and purchase a gun and have it under your bed at all times. On the flipside, there is a different kind of person that exists. In my humble opinion, the other side is a type of person who definitely has their eyes open, not naïve to the possibility of crime and bad people, but also is a person that recognizes the kindness, generosity and helpful nature of the majority of Costa Ricans. You have to understand, while it is paradise, it is also a very poor country, economically speaking. Some people only earn $200 a month, if that. And some of those people that earn meager pennies, are the nicest people in the world and would give you their last morsel of food if you were stranded and knocked on their door. On the other hand, which in my experience this happens all over the world, there are those who resort to stealing from other people to get by in this life. Luckily, I have been schooled in how to keep all my belongings in my possession and being a city girl my level of awareness is already many levels above say, someone from Nebraska who doesn’t think to lock their doors at night let alone be aware of the characters surrounding them on the street at any given moment. Anyway…so Dave and I literally walked like 6 miles Sunday. We visited the old cemetery. Then just kind of meandered about the city here and there. It’s interesting because apparently our hostel was in the red light district and yes, I saw hookers both female and transvestite, but really didn’t think much of it. Every time we left the hostel the guy working the door tried to tell us we needed to take a cab because of the neighborhood. I found not a single person bothered us. I’m convinced it’s a combination of street smarts and good energy. Not to say that people with good energy don’t get fucked with. Thus far I’ve met about five people who have been pick pocketed, stolen from or had some incident go down where they had something of value taken from them. As well as residents of Costa Rica that say they carry two wallets on them, a dummy wallet in case of thievery and their real wallet. But surrounding all of these incidents is something that could have been done to prevent. Every story of something being stolen from a room or from the person is either drunken carelessness in a bar late night, not paying attention to their pocket on a crowded bus while standing up to hold on, living in a building that is entirely foreign inhabitants (thus targeted as having money) so on and so forth. Just a few street smarts can go a long way.

So after our romp around the city, we are craving a Guiness and I noticed the expat bar next to our hostel has Guiness. Naturally we go there. Turns out, the man that owns the place is from Rockford, a city right outside of Chicago. We meet a couple, the man from New Hampshire and the woman from Scotland. They seem nice enough, but in my perception (perception being another big topic in the grand scheme of things on this trip…more on that later) a bit jaded and slightly askewed on their view of the world, or of Costa Rica. Apparently have traveled around the world, scouting out the cheapest places to live. They’ve found Thailand to be the cheapest but ventured to Costa Rica. Upon arrival they only had been two places when we met them. Quepos and San Jose. Both very touristy. They were complaining that it was too expensive and while Dave tried to convince them of his world views and engage in discussion, the woman was having no part of it, insisting that

(I'm running behind in my posts. SO much to say. These past four days have been a rollercoaster. I'm going to catch up tonight but had to post at least this much. Sorry there's no pics and it just kinda runs out at the end. I'll finish up after a few Guinesses ;)

La Farmacia

2009-11-08T16:54:00.000-08:00

So I went to the pharmacy today. Can you believe I can walk into a farmacia, tell them what is wrong and they will give me antibiotics. Not only that...but the health care system here is amazing. If I go to the hospital...a doctor visit of about and hour plus two prescriptions is only around $40. I know because a roommate at the hostel had to go to the hospital because he had an eye infection. Chalk another one up to Costa Rica. The people here are amazing. We continue to meet Tico's y Tica's and they're just a really happy friendly people. Which of course, there are people like that everywhere but in general at least in Chicago, people get weirded out if a stranger approaches them and starts to talk to them.

Today we walked probably about six miles all over the city. We went to this large cemetery which was gorgeous. A beautiful view of the mountains in the background...oh I can't wait to get into the mountains. Here's some pics of the cemetery.

The plaza's here are an example of what is lacking in the States. Everyone gathers in these huge plazas and parks everywhere. There are street performers and kids and adults and lovers and just all sorts of people enjoying the day. I suppose there are parks in Chicago but nothing like this. Of course I love the food stalls with fresh fruit and veggies and spices and I found a quaint little cheese shop today. Queso Uralba (spelling?) is what I'm after.

San Jose gets a bad rep sometimes but it's all in your idea of perception. People are so scared to step outside their comfort zone and as Americans the media and society have hammered into our psyche that people are dangerous and out to get you. I've not had that experience. People are the same the world over. I hope I can find some couchsurfers to stay with. I'm really itching to cook. I'm loving these little soda stands and good cheap eats but I want to cook damnit! (This hostel ended up not having a kitchen. I love a good communal meal and several bottles of vino. ;) Also can't wait to give it a go with surfing again. Don't worry mom, like I said, healthcare here is basically free. I'm going to get an instructor this time. I'm really going to be in shape after this trip. Walking everywhere. I love it. Can't wait to play tennis on the Caribbean too. Getting out of the city will do wonders for me. Can't wait. Might head down to Panama for a day or two. Not sure. You can't imagine what it feels like not to have an agenda. I don't want to pigeon hole myself into anything...just going with the wind...or the stars...or whatever...lol. Life.

I am exhausted but that's good. Need food. Love u all. Keep it real.

Meet VincentGood EatsFirst Hostel Experience

2009-11-07T23:36:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling a little off since I got back from Florida. But brushed it off cuz I didn't know what it was. I'm not going to get into details but you know when it's midnight on a Saturday night and I'm in the company of good people and beer....it's out of the ordinary that I have to go home. Pretty sure it's a bladder or urinary tract infection. Yes, treatable but still doesn't help the matter at the moment. Hurts to move. To top it off, I forgot that I have vicoprofin and took something else much less effective to numb the pain until morning. Figures.

Where did I leave off? Oh, right. Meet Vincent.

So much went on today...all compilations of moments that add up to the sum of its parts.

Had another amazing meal, this time it was a Colombian meal. If anyone knows me they know I love that shit and cook some really tasty South American meals. for $2.50 this is what we got...plus a juice made from a fruit called Maracuya. Kinda tasted like cross between pineapple and pear juice. yummy! And the place was really charming. The pics were supposed to be posted in reverse order. Guess blogspot does last pic posted first. Will have to figure that out.

Here's a clip of the awesome downpour that happens every day....just as Wyllys indicated...around 2 p.m. Crazy.

We met another local whom *smoked* with us and took us out and we had some beers and he was a really cool guy. Unfortunately I started feeling really funny and had to go home as previously mentioned. However, we learned about the political conditions in C.R. and how the economy and weakening of the dollar has affected this country which is largely dependent upon tourism. I have a six hour bus ride tomorrow so I'm going to catch up with the rest of my thoughts and probably have a few random thoughts thrown in there. Going to shower and spend our last day in San Jose alcohol free and wander around I'm headed to the cemetary to take some pics and go to farmacia for some antibiotics. Till next time bitches!

MinimizeArtTropicality

2009-11-07T11:33:00.000-08:00

After my entire bottle of vino was gone last night and I successfully posted an entry (it's rather difficult when my mind is experiencing so many new and different things every moment of the day...to try to sit down and process it all and get it written is nothing short of a miracle.) It's easy to slip into a new place with new faces and opportunity. Anyway...right now I'm waiting to check into our hostel, which is bad ass by the way. And there is a tropical rainstorm outside. I love the sound of rain. So yea, there's a mechanical bull at this hostel and some AMAZING artwork.

Anyway...woke up this morning and Dave and I strolled along this street that is cobblestone and only for pedestrians. San Jose is a city much like any other city. Payless Shoes...department stores...seemingly a LOT of zapaterias. They love their shoes here. I like the styles I'm seeing in the street. I've heard a lot about the dangers of San Jose but I gotta say, it's not much different than my hood in Chi. Beggars, homeless, wealthy, poor, etc..so we went to a probably tourist cafe for breakfast and I had the most delicious salad. You know I'm a nut about food so pardon me for being in Central America and speaking of food. lol. But it was lettuce, avocado, refried beans, tomatos, tortilla chips, chicken strips, cucumber,
corn, cheese, and crutons. Topped with a vinaigrette of cilantro, lime, maybe some avocado....fucking delish. I know it's not Costa Rican but it really was delicious. And I had a banana juice with milk. Divine.

The graffiti here is cool as shit.

The street vendors are clever. It's illegal to set up shop on the avenue but they do it anyway. When the cops come, one person lets out a voice signal and they quickly pack it all up in a sheet and get out of the street. My idea to burn dvd's and sell them as one part of a way to make money, sadly, has already been taken. Dave and I think we're going to get holiday decorations cheap and sell them here. Saw a blow up Santa that was only about two feet tall and it was $40.00. Jesus Cristo!

It's raining like crazy right now but it's pretty spectacular. Going to the market later and I really want to cook but there's no kitchen here. Sucks. But I think I'm ready for some real Costa Rican food. Gallo Pinto and soda stands here I come. Tonight we're meeting up with a local I met on Craigs List so it should be fun. I checked out an English school to meet them and see if they hire English teachers. I have no idea what's next in my life...it's a blank canvas. I desperately desire to go to grad school so perhaps I shall put off my stay in a foreign country for a couple of years but it's fun to check out what's possible. It's been a busy two days and I'm not conveying nearly enough but I'm lucky to even have been able to post this much. I really wanted y'all to meet Vincent. If I see him again I'm totally going to follow him around with video. This guy from Pasadena Cali who has been here for six years. Hustlin...we paid him to take us to get wine yesterday...as he undressed me with his eyes about fifty times. But he was good people. He was going to get us our mota but we were not wanting dirt so we opted to wait until we got to Caribe. But Vincent is a character and I would love for you to meet him. Too much rambling and seriousness, a good laugh will do you well. ha ha. Here's pics of the hostel.

Minimize. oh minimize. I brought too much shit here so I had to minimize and pack my hiker backpack so we can leave my other bag here whilst frolicking in el Caribe but it's teaching me a lesson. Grrr....I will not go down without a fight though. I still proclaim I NEED all that shit. ha ha. I'm sure I'll change my tune in a week. Might not be able to post as much in Caribe...need to get away from civilization and BE in Costa Rica. It's easier now because I'm in a city. Might check out for a few days after Monday but I'll be around today and tomorrow. Much luv. Hold down the USA for me and don't do anything I wouldn't do....which is not much so....

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men....

2009-11-06T22:46:00.000-08:00

Whew. Where do I begin. I'm sitting in San Jose, Costa Rica....ok...so suffice it to say I've had a lot on my mind pre-Costa Rica. The things I've always wanted I don't really care so much about anymore and likewise the things I thought I didn't want, I kind care more about now. But that's neither here nor there at the moment. Things are happening at an accelerated rate and I'm tuned into what's happening and why it might be happening. Maybe I think too much about all this stuff but hey, to each his own right? So my dear loved ones were over my house on Wed. night to see me off. It's not like I'm going to Mars but it IS a big step for me and even as I sit here now, completely comfortable and at ease, I know there are big changes on the horizon for me. This might bore you as my reader but perhaps you can identify...we've all had times where life is just amplified in every way due to situations or circumstances so on and so forth. So everyone was over...stayed up late...got up early....nothing unusual with that. Got to the airport in record time (12 minutes) and got on the flight with ease. Yes, I probably packed too much but whatever, I'm here for three months and my agenda is everything from backpacker style to Cancun proper and I've even already worn my heels (even though it was just to walk to the store to buy a bottle of wine ha HA). I wish I could convey more of what is going on but there just isn't time right now for the hustler from Cali named Vincent or how I was feeling before I left or even for my amazing Florida trip which I will never forget. *swoon* & soul. SO....Dave arrived from Denver...my besties were over to see me off. I didn't sleep until like 1:30 and had to wake at 3:30....ended up not getting up until like 4:15 but made it to airport by 4:30. Which was perfect. Everything was perfect. Got on the flight to Ft. Lauderdale...crowded pinche spirit airlines with your knees in your face seats kinda sucked ass but whatever, I was going to Costa Rica. With my mind in a million different places it actually allowed me to just let go...and be. Being the structured person I know myself to be, structure kinda went with the wind. This was my first indication of things to come. Touche to myself. As I'm on the flight from Ft. Lauderdale to C.R. I even muttered some random comment about my affinity to Florida and JOKINGLY commented about how I didn't want to leave Florida. BIG mistake. Coincidence or not, I got halfway to C.R. on the plane and realized my passport was NOT on my person. Dave tried to tell me it was in one of my bags. I knew if it was not in my purse, it was gone. I went through so many thoughts in one hour and mind you I couldn't even reach my bag to search it because this flight was literally a human pretzel. I got cramps trying to finnagle my bag from under the seat. Looked seventeen times through everything I had. My passport was gone. I told the flight attendant who called ahead to Costa and also back to USA to try to find my passport. I was LITERALLY praying to God, the universe, my mind....whatever the fuck is real and exists as good karma in this world that my passport was SOMEWHERE I could find it. Landed in Costa Rica....took a few pictures from the airplane window and in the hour I was on the plane...went through the thoughts that I just might have to go all the way back to the Chi and deal with a lot of drama I would be very unhappy about. But in the back of my head, I trusted in the way things were meant to happen. Hijo la madre. And they did. I literally took about five steps off the plane in C.R. and they were like "this plane leaves for Ft. Lauderdale in about ten minutes. You have to go back to Ft. Lauderdale and they found your passport in the seat you were on the last flight" Blessing and a curse. See, it cold have been worse. It can always be worse, unless you look at the bright side of things. I had been traveling for 6 hours and had to literally turn right back around and go back to U.S.A. leaving ALL of my belongings except the bag I had with me (originally I had my backpack with me with all of my clothes in it but checked it last minute due to a full flight...they let me check that bag for free because flight was full) so all I had was a pair of flip flops and a lot of chargers and magazines...all except the charger for my laptop. The ironic part of that still to come. So I turned back around...all five steps....sent Dave to San Jose with a telephone number of a hotel and said, I'll be back tomorrow...same time, same place. I admit, I shed a few tears....that this shit was even happening. But what happened after and since is nothing short of believing in the course of life and going with the flow and just really laughing in the face of adversity. Got back to Florida (what is it with Florida these days? *smirk*) and had a gaggle of shit to take care of. Get another flight tomorrow, eat, find some deoderant, book a hotel or make decision where to stay, get my passport (sorry, that was first and foremost.... I kissed my passport when it was back in my hands.) and just process all that had just happened...all on like 2 hours of sleep. So I smelled, hadn't showered, was all alone, and after two hours finally sure that I was going to C.R. the next day thanks to Spencer at Spirit Air (it really helps to be a girl....for the record) it was time to have a Guiness and a ciggarette and just chill the fuck out. After that, the hilarity ensued. Guess what...I wanted to be on the internet....tell my peeps and family (mom and sisters) that I was ok, kinda frazzled. but ok. When I realized the charger for my laptop was in Costa Rica. Not only that but I had downgraded my cell phone plan the day before so I didn't have the ability to text or get online. Truly I think it was preparing me for Costa. The everything happens for a reason thing. So I did what I could Twon was an angel....booked me a hotel through hotwire.com...shit, this post is really long and I haven't even gotten to the best part about the kindness of strangers. People in Ft. Lauderdale were amazing. The flight attendant offered to let me stay at her house if she wasn't on call (which she end up being on)...a random older gentleman who had to take the train back to Miami offered to drive all the way back to pick me up and take me to a hotel if i was stranded was nothing short of amazing. I like to think that my generosity in all I do comes back to me and this proved that I was right. People were SO kind. But I didn't want to make someone drive an hour back to take me somewhere so I got a hotel. As I was standing at the shuttle stop two guys were asking questions about how much hotels were and such. They got on my shuttle to go to Red Carpet Inn. We got to chatting and they were from Colombia. Piqued my interest as I have a fascination and adoration for Colombia. Next thing you know we are drinking Jameson and Guiness and making new friends and speaking a lot of Spanish. Again, pre-cursor and happening for a reason before C.R. Which by the way, since being here I've been told that my Spanish is commendable. I wouldn't say fluent but everyone understands what I'm saying and I'v even been the translator. this post is too long and it's late. there's so much more here there and in between that I haven't even conveyed....let alone the photos.....I met Eduardo who is a cool ass cat and with most of the people journeying into my life.....I hope that I can keep up this blog and I hope that you all appreciate my lengthy stories. I need a devide connected to my brain that just automatically transcribes my thoughts. I got so much luv for y'all. so much. more than you know. I'm gonna continue this stream of thoughts tomorrow....because you have to know all about getting back to C.R. and the possibilities that lie ahead. Vaya con last estrellas.

Seasons Change

2009-09-30T08:17:00.000-07:00

Never fails right? When the seasons change, (well at least for those of us that have a distinct four seasons) we all tend to get that weird feeling. Change is on the horizon. I'm unable to describe it. And events in our lives unfold and create new paths and we look back to past years and reflect. I'm convinced of the mind-body connection and what thoughts you harvest have, in some way-shape-or-form, an impact on your reality and the outcome of your life. Quantum physics and Buddhism and other schools of thought support such theories. Face it people, the mind is a very powerful thing. We don't even use but a small percentage of it. I won't get all deep down the specifics of all of that because I have before. But I feel it. I feel the change, but this time I have a feeling it's a bigger change for me. I mean, yea, duh, I'm leaving the country for three months. One could consider that a big change in and of itself. But it's more than that. And being the tried and true Capricorn female that I am....although it has gotten a LOT easier over the years to ride the wave, go with the flow, what have you, it still feels weird and I'm anxious of the outcome. I used to fear the outcome....but now, I'm anxious in a good way. Like a kid waiting for Santa to come. Eager anticipation. Impatient anticipation. I'm ready to get on with the next phase of my life. I could sit here and try to speculate what that looks like, or what I WANT it to look like, and that's important to put those thoughts out there...but that's only half the battle. The other half is being proactive and doing it. Can't wait to see what experiences I will have in C.R. Who knows, maybe I have to fulfill some life destiny in Costa Rica or just get back to calm...living in a big city is anything but calm, not that I'm complaining...chaos and confusion are good friends of mine. But calm is something I need right now. Hopefully I'll find my mentor in a field where I finally decide that's what I want to do with my life. Because I have so many ideas of what I want to do....some people don't have any clue, I have too many clues. lol. Here I go speculating again. It's what I do best. What I am sure of is my willingness and fearlessness to do the unthinkable. Be fearless. Blaze trails. I already manage to do things that most people consider outlandish. But I am willing to stop at nothing to get what I want. But first I have to decide what I want, which is the hardest part of all. Anyway...I'm feeling a bit emo today. Life's most important issues on my mind. Family, friends, love, nature, blah blah blah.

Enough seriousness already! SO, I got my ticket and the date is November 5th. I'm lame and haven't written since I got laid off. This is a repetitive cycle, me saying I'm going to write more and then not writing. I've had so many wonderful experiences this summer too! Alas, I will try harder because I'm really trying to push my goals to success and also try to at least moderate some bad habits I've got. I had a really good time this weekend with my sister and Karl and Mel n J and Vanessa and Tavo and T, someone I met through some crazy fucked up in a good way 6 degrees of separation. And Angela! ha ha. Love love love family and friends to the point it makes me sentimental. ha ha. I'll post some pics when I get the chance. And I gotta post some pics of the T.J.'s Michigan trip with the wifey. Those cats are pretty awesome too. Much luv!

Anything With Bacon

2009-09-20T11:12:00.000-07:00

The man wanted anything with bacon for his birthday. Really, that was his response when I asked him what he wanted me to bring. He said "Anything with bacon". So I gave him what he wanted and as usual (not to sound immodest...) it was a success. Asparagus wrapped in bacon baked in the oven for 20 minutes. I'm sorry I don't have pictures to encourage salivation or grumbling stomachs. ;)

I'm watching the Mad Men series right now. It ties into my personal studies at the moment. I can't believe I came this close to entering the world of mass consumption via public relations and advertising. I'm not going to evolve into an extremist of the sort...you know, the ones that give up their life of living on the radar, those who are brave enough to completely erase government propaganda, media control of the mind, and leave the societal systems that were created over the time span of humanity...no I'm an American born and raised in the 20th/21st century. What I'm good for is being conscious of the lies we are fed on a daily basis and to basically talk about them. Because lord knows I can't give up everything I know about myself. That's an interesting statement though. If anyone is reading this and you still know me in 20 years and you remember this at all....ask me if I know myself to be the same person I was in 2009. ha ha. Anyway...Mad Men, for what it's worth, allows me to peek inside the past. I would die if I had to be a housewife in the 50's. I'm certain I would have been the single girl shacking up with the unhappily married men. And really, the whole advertising industry...what does that mean? I get it that people created this monster of consumption through this industry that was created called advertising. So how do we create a paradigm shift around media and advertising? I don't want to take down the industry. Or picket the big guys. Just asking for a paradigm shift around the industry and the public's perception. Is that too much to ask?

Calling All Language Nerds.....

2009-08-01T04:53:00.000-07:00

Whew. That was some hiatus there. Three weeks have flown by. That's how long I've been unemployed and it feels like I haven't had the time to sit down and delve into some "Staci" projects, one of them being blogging. Needless to say it's been on my mind. A lot of things have been on my mind, which is not in the least bit unusual. All in all, having the opportunity to spend my days the way I want to spend them has been nothing short of comfort for my soul. Yesterday I spent all day at the beach with someone I have known for a long time but just recently ran into about a month ago. He and I had a pretty enjoyable 8 or so hours. (Not ALL at the beach...lol.) I forgot what the pulse of the city felt like. Riding public transportation and being amongst the strange and colorful characters of a big city, even though I live here, I kinda felt like a tourist. I used to get in my car, drive to work, work with two people, come home and hang out or talk to my people. Anyway...it was a a fun and entertaining social scenario. We took lots of notes. he he. I took some pictures. After the jump....

As for the language nerds....I am trying to find out if Sanskrit is one of the oldest languages. I know ultimately it's somewhat theory but I'm curious to know the scientific theory. What irks me is that when I do some research on google the only pages that I get from my query are those of answer.com or hubpages.com or yahooanswers....blah blah blah. Thank you but no, I don't want the uneducated opinion of a bunch of commoners (no offense, I'm a commoner as well when it comes to topics of discussion that I haven't been schooled on.) Anyway....I've been stubmling across a language called Tamil that some people are saying is the oldest language. I had never even heard of it. Ok. Unfortunately that's all I've got today. I continue to promise to beef up my blog. As in fill it with more quality and substance. Don't lose hope (blogwise) on me yet! Still working on that "structure" in my life to blog once a day, do my Spanish lessons daily, go to the gym, check some things off my list and plan my journey to Costa Rica. I'm such the procrastinator, I haven't even bought my ticket yet. Grrrrr.....Ok, I'm off to Great America!

Chilean Goodies!

2009-07-14T13:56:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of cultural exchange, my friend Sara, whom I met because I stumbled upon her expat blog about her daily life in Santiago, Chile, sent me a package of goodies! I sent her a bunch of chocolates and stuff she missed and well, I got some really cool stuff. Tidbit of random information.....we share the same birthday. Yep, Januaary 9th. Which makes her cool right off the bat! lol. Thanks Sara! You can find her blog at http://whatsarasays.blogspot.com/

Items in the picture:

Ambrosos Gomitas (sp?) which are gummy dolphins; Merquen (spicy stuff, or the only spice); drink packet mixes which I have yet to try (update when I do); Carezza Chocolate bar; Sahne-Nusse chocolate bar; Tuaregs which I believe are coconut and chocolate; Capri chocolate bar (which I have already devoured); and in the front the beautiful beautiful jewelry that I LOVE! I'm not sure what the red ones are on the left but they are very very cool, and the bracelet in the middle is Lapis Lazuli, a Chilean stone and the silver ones are Mapuche, a Chilean indigenous group. I pray to the jewelry gods that I don't lose any! Thanks again SARA! I hope to make it to Chile in the next year!