No Listening

Stefan Ellis

2009-04-14T09:17:00.000-04:00

This guy makes intelligent, sensitive music which sounds like adult contemporary but is labeled alternative due to his "quirky" lyrics and choice of eyeglasses. He is a multi-instrumentalist and articles about him always carry some kind of title like "Indie Rock Has Grown Up," or "Alternative Rock That's Not Afraid of Melody." Your parents really like that song of his on the radio, but you find him painfully dull. Basically, he's this generation's Elvis Costello.

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"When I wake up, well, you know I'm gonna be; I'm gonna be the band who's pictured in this photo." That's right; this is what The Proclaimers look like these days. You know, that band responsible for that song from Benny & Joon?

LINK: www.proclaimers.co.uk

Black Dynamite

2009-04-11T12:17:00.000-04:00

I'm pretty sure this band sounds exactly like Evanescence. More attention is probably given to the lead singer's breasts than the actual music, but such is the case when your band is made up of four ugly dudes and one chick.

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This is actually the goth/power/death metal band Nightwish. I'd say there are some Evansscence parallels.

Link: http://www.myspace.com/nightwish

Tumble Dry Low

2009-03-30T23:59:00.000-04:00

With painfully nerdy lyrical puns, intentionally awkward dance moves, and cringe-inducing ska influence, this is the band you hate to love. But despite your best efforts, you still wake up with their songs running through your head. They sound a little like They Might Be Giants using Garageband to make songs. Their music video goes way overboard with the green-screen effect, placing the band members' dancing into settings such as the moon, old Westerns, in front of A-bomb tests, etc. One of their songs is prominently featured in the trailer for the new Rugrats movie.

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To be honest, I have no idea what Previously on Lost sound like. I do know that their songs are all about recapping various episodes of the TV show Lost.

LINK: www.myspace.com/previouslyonlostmusic

Die Lieber

2009-03-27T09:00:00.004-04:00

Though the boy on guitar/girl on drums line up might remind you of the White Stripes, this band barely make anything that the average person would consider "songs." The drone noise they create often melds together from one track to the next. In addition, the "singing" fits perfectly in with the music, a cross between mumbling and a death metal groan.

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This is actually a band named Themis, who play "Wicca Rock." Their term, not mine.

LINK: http://www.myspace.com/themismusic

Prairie Folk

2009-03-26T10:24:00.000-04:00

Are you ready for some triple acoustic-guitar-strumming, triple singer/songwriter action? I know I'm sure not. Have you ever wished that there were three Sarah McLachlans and they would all stand side by side playing the same chords and singing the same words at the same time? Me neither! It's like open mic night, times three!

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When Northern State first came out, they were heralded as a female version of the Beastie Boys. If their current appearance can so easily be compared to Sarah McLachlan, they've probably aged better than Ad-Rock, Mike D, and MCA.

LINK: www.northernstate.net

Pissing on the Throne

2009-03-25T15:00:00.000-04:00

Claiming to be the first band to mix authentic metal and authentic hardcore, these South Carolinians have also declared themselves to be the loudest band in the southeast. While they often bring a wall of amps with them on tour, they often refuse to mic the drums, resulting in a sound that's sort of a muddy mess. Of course, that was probably their goal in the first place.

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This is actually Rain of Seattle, a grunge band which is not from Seattle, but Finland. I think I want to see the band described above though.

LINK: www.myspace.com/therainofseattle

Hxwt Flwrrs

2009-03-25T11:07:00.000-04:00

These 3 hip young musicians are the latest thing and they live right in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, as they never tire of pointing out. One member is listed as a drummer, but strangely, only electronic beats can be heard on their latest album. They also use one-string guitar riffs with plenty of reverb and have a sassy female singer. Breaking news! They just signed to this really hot, new indie label which I've never heard of and were chosen as a "New Band We've Been Paid To Tell You About" in Alternative Press magazine!

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Strangely, if you ignore the snark, MP hits on some key points with Brooklyn-based Chairlift. The drummer, at times, switches to bass and lets electronic drums take over; their singer certainly has a bit of spunk when performing live. However, the guitar riffs are a bit more dream pop in nature. Furthermore, their old indie label, Kanine, probably didn't have enough cash to bribe Alternative Press, but their new label, Columbia, probably does.

LINK: http://www.myspace.com/chairlift
http://chairliftmusic.com

Don't Just Stand There Do Something

2009-03-23T12:05:00.000-04:00

After losing one of their members to a more successful side project, Don't Just Stand There Do Something return as a duo. Their IDM/electronic backing sound hasn't changed much, though the vocals on their newer material are slightly more ethereal and slightly less riot grrl. In addition, they've started to incorporate real instruments into their music--including playing acoustic guitar for the first time, an accordion, and a melodica.

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This is actually the band Pocahaunted, known within the hippie-noise scene. Their music is what some might call moan-wave, or as described on their MySpace, "blissed out drone."

LINK: http://www.myspace.com/pocahaunted

The Blunderboyz

2009-03-20T12:12:00.000-04:00

These British boyz like to get "rowdy," which mainly consists of making sassy rock faces or hopping a bit while performing. They sing about sports and sports cars and how attractive they imagine these things make them to girls. Their music sounds like a cross between the Buzzcocks and Smashmouth. Their Top 10 hit single (in the UK) is called "Aw No Ya Didn't (Aw Yeah)."

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Though even listening to the band would reveal a britpop influence with Cage the Elephant, the "boyz" hail from Kentucky. Perhaps it's this influence that has led them to sold out tours in the UK while they remain relative unknowns in the US (at least for now). It all sort of makes sense when you realize that the band's early influences were rock'n'roll cassettes hidden from their Christian parents

LINK: http://www.myspace.com/cagetheelephant

The Rockwell Brothers Band

2009-03-19T13:06:00.000-04:00

Originally scoring a hit in the 70s with an epic classic rock anthem, the act have met with their fair of success and failure. The band took a hiatus in the 90s after losing their drummer to a tragic cocaine addiction, but are back now with a rehashing of their forgotten glory. Sure, The Eagles have the highest selling album of all time, but does the world really need all these imitators?

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Excerpted from a review posted on their MySpace page: "the veteran Dutch band Vengeance. That is Vengeance as in, the 'had a record out in 1982' Dutch band Vengeance. I vaguely remember hearing the name in the early 80's and the band actually was on a major label at one point ... Wow, this is some cranked up, high-energy heavy metal rawk that smells like classic AC/DC mixed with the best of hair bands like Whitesnake and Cinderella." No brothers in the band, but they have father-son guitarists!

LINK: http://www.myspace.com/vengeancebackinthering

The Contemporaries

2009-03-19T08:55:00.000-04:00

This "duo" is made up of a man who composes, performs, and records the music, and a woman who poses in bathing suits and whose voice just might be the one heard on the album. Though they like to compare their music to Brian Eno, it sounds more like a cross between Kraftwerk and muzak. It involves piano and "electronic elements." They sing with unidentifiable European accents but come from Allentown, Pennsylvania.

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Considering the roots of techno music and the fact that he decided to call his upcoming album Teufelswerk, DJ Hell may have a hard time shaking the Kraftwerk comparison. However, his German accent would be authentic, if he ever sung his own vocals instead of employing the use of guests like Bryan Ferry or P. Diddy.

LINK: www.djhell.de

In Rainbows

2009-03-19T00:09:00.000-04:00

Totally gay...and proud of it!

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This band is actually called A Gun That Shoots Knives and I don't think they would be offended by the above description. They play music that I would describe as a self-parodying version of glam-rockey showtunes in the vein of Meatloaf or Elton John or Queen ballads.

LINKS: http://www.agtsk.com
http://www.myspace.com/agunthatshootsknives

Tymm Elthinor

2009-03-17T23:37:00.000-04:00

This guy plays acoustic guitar obviously, or maybe even the mandolin. He writes wistful, heartfelt songs all about elves and hobbits and dragons with accompanying harp and flute. He sings in a warbly falsetto while a fan blows his hair back. His "feelings" are on display. His music video probably involves jousting.

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In reality, according to the artist's press release, "[Sonny's] songs are electronic, forward-thinking, tribal, dancy and eclectic. The music builds on his past, has the energy and urgency of thrash, the texture and consideration of the experimental, the eloquence of the electronic and the shock of the new."

LINK: http://www.myspace.com/sonny

Skeet 67

2009-03-17T23:01:00.000-04:00

These skater punks return for their second album. However, they have matured both physically and musically since their first record two years ago when they were only 14. On their new effort, they sing about touring stadiums on the Warped Tour in a more introspective grown-up tone, but these boys haven't forgotten their roots. It still sounds like the exact same Sum 41/Blink 182 record that these type of bands have recorded for years.

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This is actually the rather popular British "deathcore" band Bring Me The Horizon. That means they play death metal (with screamo tendencies) but look like hipsters.

LINK: http://www.myspace.com/bmth