tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78977617879498764922026-07-24T01:59:16.670-04:00no is and are what whoButtercup McGillicuddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13369974257922854319noreply@blogger.comBlogger133125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-87509456722732091522013-01-29T02:07:00.003-05:002013-01-29T08:46:04.246-05:00'the vicious cycle' pt.4 click for pt.5 stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-76542094036188700922013-01-20T19:00:00.000-05:002013-01-21T15:46:30.871-05:00Intent Seems Consistently Indiscernible, Opinions And Desires Exist In Brains; Articles, Poems, And Stories On The Internet Exist In Servers Somewhere: Vague Thoughts in Reaction to Alt-Lit Is for Boring, Infantile Narcissists by Josh Baines Published in Vice UK January 16, 2013 By Stephen Michael McDowell via tumblr via facebook To me, the word “love” seems fun to say/write to or when referencing a human I like a lot. To me, the word “love” seems like a “place-holder” for an unobservable/unquantifiable complex of biological stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-17250310352138652812013-01-20T18:23:00.002-05:002013-01-22T15:25:06.130-05:00eskimo bros<!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal.dotm 0 0 1 1144 6521 Boston Conservatory 54 13 8008 12.0 <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> 0 false 18 pt 18 pt 0 0 false false false <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-35754977143671290882013-01-14T15:47:00.002-05:002013-01-21T02:02:48.005-05:00three-person shower originally printed in issue #1 of 'no prizes' edited by ian heames *** Jeremy didn’t want to go to the bar. He opened his mouth to say this but nothing came out. “So is it Donohue’s or the University Bar,” asked Emily. She had already had five glasses of boxed wine and had told Jeremy that she was seeing double. She laughed when she said this, and was leaning against Page as her stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-4426772941945421002013-01-08T15:08:00.001-05:002013-07-11T07:08:31.075-04:00'third york' recap disclaimer: some names/events were omitted to ‘protect’ parties involved, some events may be inaccurately recounted or were omitted due to faulty memory, disinterest, etc wednesday, december 26th, 2012 arrived in new york city via megabus rode g train to willis plummer's apartment in bed-stuy walked w willis to bodega purchased 40oz malt liquor at bodega chatted stephen tully stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-31366725472835772202012-12-22T09:14:00.001-05:002013-03-19T16:35:34.070-04:00'quirk theory'stephen michael mcdowell december 22, 2012 quirk&nbsp;|kwərk| noun 1&nbsp;a peculiar behavioral habit&nbsp;: his distaste for travel is an endearing quirk. &nbsp;•&nbsp;a strange chance occurrence&nbsp;: a strange quirk of fate had led her to working for Nathan. &nbsp;•&nbsp;a sudden twist, turn, or curve&nbsp;: wry humor put a slight quirk in his mouth. &nbsp;2&nbsp;Architecture&nbsp;an stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-21141291458353450172012-10-28T11:12:00.003-04:002012-11-11T18:12:29.662-05:00matthew sherling interviewed me for 'CUTTY SPOT'via tumblr "[STEPHEN MICHAEL MCDOWELL AKA BUTTERCUP MCGILLICUDDY’S VIDEO INTERVIEW] * ‘I don’t know, I feel like I’d say something really hedonistic or self-loathing. Something like, I don’t know. Yeah, that’s probably it, ‘I don’t know.’ * Buttercup has written a screenplay (THE BALLAD OF SAVVY GIBSON AND THE SIX T’S or FXXX PLUS): http://bitchassgodliness.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-2143920430411830852012-10-15T10:51:00.000-04:002012-10-15T10:51:01.723-04:00going afkgoing afk except for maintaining @steeephenmm, @stephenunedited, and 'i am alt lit confidential' until december 19thstephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-76331182381479208592012-10-11T15:47:00.001-04:002012-10-17T08:47:33.282-04:00uaaahgoddamn it god fucking damn you fucking shit ass i hate this, this shit this is me hating everything fucke the ocean you little shit uuuauaaaaahhh i want to die i'm want to fucking explode fuck you uaaah i am like a shitty dead eagle on the shitty dead surface of the shitty dead moon stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-1372889305187860382012-09-11T14:02:00.002-04:002012-10-17T08:51:04.032-04:00'rose' image macro contest, ends september 30th 2012 image macro contest located on&nbsp;my tumblr page **UPDATE** this image macro won the contest by the semi-mononymous 'cole' won the contest: 'good job' cole stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-17424371859568383162012-09-06T12:07:00.000-04:002012-09-06T12:12:55.333-04:00new pieces by me at 'pangur ban party' and 'meat confetti vol. 1' poetry series by me titled 'i keep looking up for your face in the stars but constellations have only ever looked like spoons to me' now up at pangur ban party piece by me titled 'i honestly can't tell if i feel more like the fonz or mowgli' is in&nbsp;'meat confetti vol. 1'stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-45183448927526774012012-09-03T00:33:00.000-04:002012-09-03T00:33:58.631-04:00'consolidating' my internet presence blog http://noisandarewhatwho.blogspot.com facebook http://facebook.com/stephenmichaelmcdowell formspring http://formspring.me/steeephenmm tumblr http://stephenmichaelmcdowell.tumblr.com twitter (edited) http://twitter.com/steeephenmm twitter (unedited) http://twitter.com/stephenunedited stephenmichaelmcdowell at gmail dot com stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-70952215032758419762012-08-02T11:37:00.001-04:002012-08-02T11:46:07.694-04:00what i did july 2012- released 'habitat. summer of blood' at a roof party at mike bushnell's house in bed-stuy - blacked out and didn't find out what happened until it was already on the internet - stayed ~1week at mike's with ana c., shaun gannon, peterbd, and will bechtold [+various] - celebrated 'alienation day' and made 'the most coveted digital album known to exist' &amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-18337447716257211362012-07-17T18:15:00.004-04:002012-07-17T18:38:38.016-04:00thoughts during churchcan't think of an idea i dislike more than 'christian saxophone soloist,' but now that is an experience i just have to continue living through feel convinced the 'appeal' of 'christian thought' is the desire to minimize confusion caused by the fact that dreams and hallucinations can evoke any impracticality/anxiety feel amazed seems barely anyone is conveying 'this is bullshit,' mostly people stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-80589855905322544432012-06-28T17:01:00.003-04:002012-06-28T17:01:32.800-04:00blog posti'm mostly bored at my parents house all day i travel to boston, new york, pennsylvania, DC, baltimore semi-regularly to distract from boredom two dogs live at my house gustav and wolfgang they are named after composers i have footage on my dad's terabyte harddrive that i plan on making into a feature-length movie about my dogs featuring music by the composers they are named after but istephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-8778103370074661902012-06-26T04:47:00.003-04:002012-06-26T04:49:15.831-04:00thoughts re 'giving [a girl] oral sex'i enjoy giving oral sex 80% of the time my first girlfriend didn't taste very good, but besides her, the taste of every girl i've given oral sex to, i enjoyed the first girl i ever gave oral sex orgasmed i enjoy how girls who like oral sex react to it i find the taste of a girl's clit fascinating it seems to sting, like a small electric shock or metallic orb the only instances where i stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-81629538980953928332012-05-24T19:16:00.001-04:002012-06-29T13:31:24.442-04:00insects* i've murdered 2x 'chiggers' (factually inaccurate) fam. trombiculidae were really two red ticks that are called 'chiggers' during larva stage** 2x gigantic cockroach fam. blattidae one happened at night, couldn't see well was probably a v large beetle second happened in my basement was very fast, immediately thought 'fucking cucaracha' 1x mosquito&nbsp; fam. culicidae happened mid-vampirismButtercup McGillicuddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13369974257922854319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-83999037534018025742012-05-16T16:15:00.002-04:002012-05-16T20:22:35.008-04:00'life lessons' i 'learned' maniacally playing 'tetris' (that i just as easily could have learned from playing sports in high school or reading more 'hipster runoff' articles probably)‘success’ isn’t 'about' consistently ‘killing it’ or 'over-intellectualizing' the process it’s 'about' ‘keeping your head in the game’ small victories are important because if you ‘keep your head in the game’ (or focus on pattern recognition and allow your mind to lucidly, subconsciously navigate the space [life]) then you will see and respond instinctively to opportunities your response stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-48178553822205675342012-05-09T16:26:00.001-04:002012-05-09T16:26:11.717-04:00lol want to dielol i'm not joking lol i want to die lol i have never felt this like this before lol i mean i have but shit lol fuck lol 'emo' lol but seriously lol not hungry anymore lol acid reflux has yielded to 'sinking feeling' lol was going to masturbate lol just want to hang myself lol this is definitely 'a cry for help' lol please don't 'reach out' lol i'll be fine lol want to dieButtercup McGillicuddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13369974257922854319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-5261961548736094932012-05-05T06:23:00.001-04:002012-05-05T06:27:26.272-04:00possible things to do with megan boyle (late january 2012)found a google doc outlining 'possible things to do with megan boyle' from her january ~21, 2012 visit to baltimore (we ate pizza, drank whiskey, spun in 'the ovum', 'got ratchet', partied with friends, watched 'DEAD MIDGETS', then fell asleep sitting up, watching 'millenium'. some activities can be viewed via the below video): possible things to do with megan boyle: 1. rock out making music,stephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-35426698765202498352012-05-04T19:45:00.002-04:002012-05-04T19:47:55.075-04:00passion is the will of circumstance lost in the chaos of rational thoughtmomentarily felt satisfied with everything fear and swift acknowledgement of anger were gone and i realized i am a monster caring only for beauty and have always been this thing despite conscious protest i realized that i have never written a love poem have never said a beautiful thing have never seen a beautiful thing and am directionless in this task where are you i want to see youstephen michael mcdowellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08832225580299381461noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-44154245617756206752012-05-02T14:03:00.000-04:002012-05-02T14:03:22.069-04:00what if everything sucksi made a lil ebook for my friends about my life/thoughtsButtercup McGillicuddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13369974257922854319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-15342993445152092112012-05-01T02:43:00.001-04:002012-05-01T02:43:50.089-04:00a memoryi am unsure how to discern if i can’t sleep, or don’t sleep lying in front of a laptop, all windows closed against a bizarre interface a generic background, i see you smile a memory on a cast iron fire escape you seem cold and warm and cold again and selfishly, i think, when i write about me, i feel compact verbose ‘i’m cold,’ you said then and i thought we could die trying to Buttercup McGillicuddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13369974257922854319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-21426044549532650602012-04-21T11:02:00.001-04:002012-04-21T11:02:49.538-04:00descriptions of—and assumed reasons why i am attracted to—five girls i currently have crushes on1. sexy. smiles a lot. showed interest first. personality that i find genuinely interesting and don’t think of with any sarcasm, i.e. uncontrollable thoughts that her opinion is ‘stupid’ in any way. no visual physical traits that cause me any discomfort whatsoever. acknowledged superior intelligence among friend group. requires long-term time investment. sweet ass sense of humor. very Buttercup McGillicuddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13369974257922854319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897761787949876492.post-80614334293463739542012-04-13T22:50:00.001-04:002012-04-13T22:50:39.463-04:00a theoryi have a theory about anxious people that when they get together and see how anxious everyone else is they naturally calm each otherButtercup McGillicuddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13369974257922854319noreply@blogger.com1