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<channel>
	<title>newsarse.com</title>
	
	<link>http://newsarse.com</link>
	<description>UK spoof news and satire</description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 12 Mar 2010 10:42:36 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>No ban on racist grandparents, say Government</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Newsarse/~3/A5of_oK0G6o/</link>
		<comments>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/12/no-ban-on-racist-grandparents-say-government/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Mar 2010 10:41:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Editor</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[UK]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[BNP]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[grandparents]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[racism]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[teachers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newsarse.com/?p=10072</guid>
		<description>Grandparents in England should not be banned from spending time with the grandchild, despite their frequent adherence to casual racism, a review has concluded.
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/tChyznn4zAfvN0IfwyHw9ciCdkE/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/tChyznn4zAfvN0IfwyHw9ciCdkE/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
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		<wfw:commentRss>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/12/no-ban-on-racist-grandparents-say-government/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<feedburner:origLink>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/12/no-ban-on-racist-grandparents-say-government/</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>Take That star sorry for being caught cheating by The Sun</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Newsarse/~3/nG6PPrrWQUE/</link>
		<comments>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/12/take-that-star-sorry-for-being-caught-cheating-by-the-sun/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Mar 2010 09:58:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Editor</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Entertainment]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[cheating]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[infidelity]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Mark Owen]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[music]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Take That]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newsarse.com/?p=10050</guid>
		<description>Take That star Mark Owen yesterday apologised to his wife for being caught by a tabloid and being forced to confess his indiscretion to millions of gullible idiots via their daily comic.
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/GiDqHTYFejZNjhExvNJt_gjIuEE/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/GiDqHTYFejZNjhExvNJt_gjIuEE/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/GiDqHTYFejZNjhExvNJt_gjIuEE/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/GiDqHTYFejZNjhExvNJt_gjIuEE/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Newsarse/~4/nG6PPrrWQUE" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/12/take-that-star-sorry-for-being-caught-cheating-by-the-sun/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<feedburner:origLink>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/12/take-that-star-sorry-for-being-caught-cheating-by-the-sun/</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>Courts rule you must listen to all the rubbish Pink Floyd songs too</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Newsarse/~3/TNoHHnB1Gfw/</link>
		<comments>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/12/courts-rule-you-must-listen-to-all-the-rubbish-pink-floyd-songs-too/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Mar 2010 09:32:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Andrew Owen</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Entertainment]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[downloads]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[music]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[pink floyd]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newsarse.com/?p=10056</guid>
		<description>Millions of music lovers were left reeling today after a High Court judge ruled they could no longer download "just the good bits" from online music retailers and must in future download an album in its turgid entirety.
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/37U2BvgM01B-c9YpyawEjvclxYg/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/37U2BvgM01B-c9YpyawEjvclxYg/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/37U2BvgM01B-c9YpyawEjvclxYg/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/37U2BvgM01B-c9YpyawEjvclxYg/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Newsarse/~4/TNoHHnB1Gfw" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/12/courts-rule-you-must-listen-to-all-the-rubbish-pink-floyd-songs-too/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<feedburner:origLink>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/12/courts-rule-you-must-listen-to-all-the-rubbish-pink-floyd-songs-too/</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>Facebook criticised as man impersonates a girl who pretends to be a man</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Newsarse/~3/AtLP-YyknzQ/</link>
		<comments>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/11/facebook-criticised-as-man-impersonates-a-girl-who-pretends-to-be-a-man/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 13:42:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Editor</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[UK]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[facebook]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Internet]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[social networking]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newsarse.com/?p=10035</guid>
		<description>Social networking website Facebook has come in for stiff criticism after a 45 year-old man, working for the Daily Mail, used the site to pretend to be a 14 year-old girl who in turn was impersonating a 45 year-old man.
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/g9Bla3UcMT8RA7WWKz-Od2nUBVM/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/g9Bla3UcMT8RA7WWKz-Od2nUBVM/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/g9Bla3UcMT8RA7WWKz-Od2nUBVM/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/g9Bla3UcMT8RA7WWKz-Od2nUBVM/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Newsarse/~4/AtLP-YyknzQ" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/11/facebook-criticised-as-man-impersonates-a-girl-who-pretends-to-be-a-man/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<feedburner:origLink>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/11/facebook-criticised-as-man-impersonates-a-girl-who-pretends-to-be-a-man/</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>Police defend ‘ignore it until it goes away’ crime fighting tactics</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Newsarse/~3/gqXXb4I-K8Q/</link>
		<comments>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/11/police-defend-ignore-it-until-it-goes-away-crime-fighting-tactics/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 10:49:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Editor</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[UK]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[anti-social behaviour]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[asbo]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[police]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newsarse.com/?p=10024</guid>
		<description>Police have defended themselves against criticism by Denis O'Connor, the chief inspector of constabulary, by saying that ignoring crime problems in the vain hope that they will go away is a long established policing tactic.
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		<wfw:commentRss>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/11/police-defend-ignore-it-until-it-goes-away-crime-fighting-tactics/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<feedburner:origLink>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/11/police-defend-ignore-it-until-it-goes-away-crime-fighting-tactics/</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>Nation left wondering how Beckham felt about Manchester return</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Newsarse/~3/PvjFV5UsrGY/</link>
		<comments>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/11/nation-left-wondering-how-beckham-felt-about-manchester-return/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:23:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Editor</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[AC Milan]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[david beckham]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ITV]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Manchester United]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[news]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newsarse.com/?p=10010</guid>
		<description>The nation&amp;#8217;s sports fans have been left to wonder why nobody in the sports news industry thought to speculate upon, or even ask David Beckham how he felt about his return to Manchester United.
Last nights match was his first appearance at old Trafford since his summer 2003 departure to Real Madrid, a fact that has [...]
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&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/4CUskW7siagVRuAxQfYiPDq_WQY/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/4CUskW7siagVRuAxQfYiPDq_WQY/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Newsarse/~4/PvjFV5UsrGY" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/11/nation-left-wondering-how-beckham-felt-about-manchester-return/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<feedburner:origLink>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/11/nation-left-wondering-how-beckham-felt-about-manchester-return/</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>Learner drivers to be told being hit by a train is a ‘bad thing’</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Newsarse/~3/NScQGvjsUC0/</link>
		<comments>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/10/learner-drivers-to-be-told-being-hit-by-a-train-is-a-bad-thing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Mar 2010 11:01:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Editor</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[UK]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[driving]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[driving test]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[network rail]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[trains]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newsarse.com/?p=9977</guid>
		<description>The driving test should have compulsory questions on the basic laws of physics, and the effects of banging a rapidly-moving metallic train into your Vauxhall Corsa, Network Rail has said.
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/z6w_8cTRt3-W2xx5Ru0v3fV4xJg/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/z6w_8cTRt3-W2xx5Ru0v3fV4xJg/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/z6w_8cTRt3-W2xx5Ru0v3fV4xJg/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/z6w_8cTRt3-W2xx5Ru0v3fV4xJg/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Newsarse/~4/NScQGvjsUC0" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/10/learner-drivers-to-be-told-being-hit-by-a-train-is-a-bad-thing/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<feedburner:origLink>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/10/learner-drivers-to-be-told-being-hit-by-a-train-is-a-bad-thing/</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>I know that’s what you are, but what am I, Ahmadinejad asks US</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Newsarse/~3/vyjkzlZp0fA/</link>
		<comments>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/10/i-know-thats-what-you-are-but-what-am-i-ahmadinejad-asks-us/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Mar 2010 11:00:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Editor</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[World]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[afghanistan]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Iran]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Robert Gates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[US]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[USA]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newsarse.com/?p=9996</guid>
		<description>Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad last night told the US, "I know that's what you are, but what am I?" after the Americans accused him of playing a "double game" in Afghanistan.
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&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Xj9FRh9uNbdAXSZ9jv4zEZXsnEY/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Xj9FRh9uNbdAXSZ9jv4zEZXsnEY/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Newsarse/~4/vyjkzlZp0fA" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/10/i-know-thats-what-you-are-but-what-am-i-ahmadinejad-asks-us/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<feedburner:origLink>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/10/i-know-thats-what-you-are-but-what-am-i-ahmadinejad-asks-us/</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>Calls for tighter controls on socially unaware dogs</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Newsarse/~3/MTDXY_nO8Cc/</link>
		<comments>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/09/calls-for-tighter-controls-on-socially-unaware-dogs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Mar 2010 12:07:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jon Price</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[UK]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[animals]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[dog]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[dogs]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[pets]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newsarse.com/?p=9937</guid>
		<description>There have been renewed calls for tighter controls on annoyingly over-familiar dogs today after a border collie persistently sniffed a Doncaster man's groin during a social occasion.
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/WUKEHaLMGMQDOlhRz6wIvUx6QV0/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/WUKEHaLMGMQDOlhRz6wIvUx6QV0/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/WUKEHaLMGMQDOlhRz6wIvUx6QV0/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/WUKEHaLMGMQDOlhRz6wIvUx6QV0/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Newsarse/~4/MTDXY_nO8Cc" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/09/calls-for-tighter-controls-on-socially-unaware-dogs/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<feedburner:origLink>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/09/calls-for-tighter-controls-on-socially-unaware-dogs/</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>Chatroulette takes on YouTube in cretinous comments battle</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Newsarse/~3/AzcU897i2xw/</link>
		<comments>http://newsarse.com/2010/03/09/chatroulette-takes-on-youtube-in-cretinous-comments-battle/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Mar 2010 12:06:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Editor</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[chatroulette]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Internet]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[youtube]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newsarse.com/?p=9967</guid>
		<description>The Internet was last night preparing itself for an epic battle of halfwits as two of the web’s biggest sites went to war with tech analysts suggesting the scrap between YouTube’s comments and Chatroulette could be the most ‘depraved and utterly cretinous’ in history.
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/2he7u_PCrQNgodV7wV2SXpLXIi4/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/2he7u_PCrQNgodV7wV2SXpLXIi4/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
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