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	<title>NewsThump</title>
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	<description>UK Spoof News and Satire</description>
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		<title>Ceasefire going swimmingly</title>
		<link>https://newsthump.com/2026/06/08/ceasefire-going-swimmingly/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Nathan Cowley]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Jun 2026 11:59:44 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[World]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsthump.com/?p=170927</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="158" src="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Donald-Trump-giving-thumbs-up-in-oval-office-300x158.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="Donald Trump giving thumbs up in oval office" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Donald-Trump-giving-thumbs-up-in-oval-office-300x158.jpg 300w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Donald-Trump-giving-thumbs-up-in-oval-office-1024x538.jpg 1024w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Donald-Trump-giving-thumbs-up-in-oval-office-768x403.jpg 768w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Donald-Trump-giving-thumbs-up-in-oval-office.jpg 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p class="excerpt">The ceasefire between the US, Israel and Iran is going absolutely swimmingly, representatives of each country have insisted. </p>]]></description>
		
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">170927</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Laurence Fox’s annual burning of the Pride flag a handy reminder for Brits they can start mowing the lawn again</title>
		<link>https://newsthump.com/2026/06/08/laurence-foxs-annual-burning-of-the-pride-flag-a-handy-reminder-for-brits-they-can-start-mowing-the-lawn-again-2/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Rich Smith]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Jun 2026 11:19:24 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Society]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UK]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsthump.com/?p=170921</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="158" src="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/laurence-fox-burning-pride-flag-300x158.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="Laurence Fox burning a pride flag" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/laurence-fox-burning-pride-flag-300x158.jpg 300w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/laurence-fox-burning-pride-flag-1024x538.jpg 1024w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/laurence-fox-burning-pride-flag-768x403.jpg 768w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/laurence-fox-burning-pride-flag.jpg 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p class="excerpt">Britons across the country have welcomed Laurence Fox’s yearly incineration of a Pride flag as a helpful signal that “No Mow May” has officially ended and it's now socially acceptable to attack your overgrown lawn with a strimmer.</p>]]></description>
		
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">170921</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Harry Kane spotted inside large ball of cotton wool</title>
		<link>https://newsthump.com/2026/06/08/harry-kane-spotted-inside-large-ball-of-cotton-wool/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Mark Molloy]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Jun 2026 10:04:42 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[UK]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsthump.com/?p=170913</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="158" src="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/harry-kane-in-cotton-wool-300x158.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="Harry Kane wrapped in cotton wool" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" srcset="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/harry-kane-in-cotton-wool-300x158.jpg 300w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/harry-kane-in-cotton-wool-1024x538.jpg 1024w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/harry-kane-in-cotton-wool-768x403.jpg 768w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/harry-kane-in-cotton-wool.jpg 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p class="excerpt">Harry Kane has been spotted wrapped up inside an extra large ball of cotton wool it is revealed today.</p>]]></description>
		
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">170913</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>&#8220;It was easier to Tweet about Henry Nowak, instead of all the US school shooting victims, because of Twitter&#8217;s character limit&#8221; insists JD Vance</title>
		<link>https://newsthump.com/2026/06/07/it-was-easier-to-tweet-about-henry-nowak-instead-of-all-the-us-school-shooting-victims-because-of-twitters-character-limit-insists-jd-vance/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Rich Smith]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 07 Jun 2026 08:36:54 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[World]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsthump.com/?p=170881</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="158" src="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/JD-Vance-writing-a-tweet-in-his-office-300x158.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="JD Vance using phone in the White House" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/JD-Vance-writing-a-tweet-in-his-office-300x158.jpg 300w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/JD-Vance-writing-a-tweet-in-his-office-1024x538.jpg 1024w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/JD-Vance-writing-a-tweet-in-his-office-768x403.jpg 768w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/JD-Vance-writing-a-tweet-in-his-office.jpg 1200w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p class="excerpt">US Vice President JD Vance has defended his decision to weigh in on the murder of Henry Nowak, insisting that if he tweeted the names of all the children shot in schools in America, he wouldn't have enough room left in the tweet to discuss anything else.</p>]]></description>
		
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">170881</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Nigel Farage spends D-Day anniversary reminiscing about the time he addressed a far-right rally in Germany</title>
		<link>https://newsthump.com/2026/06/06/nigel-farage-spends-d-day-anniversary-reminiscing-about-the-time-he-addressed-a-far-right-rally-in-germany/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Andy Matthews]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 06 Jun 2026 15:49:47 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UK]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsthump.com/?p=170865</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="158" src="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Nigel-Farage-thinking-of-happy-memories-300x158.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="Nigel Farage happy memories" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Nigel-Farage-thinking-of-happy-memories-300x158.jpg 300w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Nigel-Farage-thinking-of-happy-memories-1024x538.jpg 1024w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Nigel-Farage-thinking-of-happy-memories-768x403.jpg 768w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Nigel-Farage-thinking-of-happy-memories.jpg 1200w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p class="excerpt">Today, British citizens across the country will be remembering the D-Day landings on their 82nd anniversary, including Nigel Farage who spoke at a German rally for far-right political party AfD just a few short years ago.</p>]]></description>
		
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">170865</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor ran &#8216;Find the Lady&#8217; game in St James Park for thirty years</title>
		<link>https://newsthump.com/2026/06/05/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-ran-find-the-lady-game-in-st-james-park-for-thirty-years/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Neil Tollfree]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Jun 2026 11:10:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UK]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsthump.com/?p=170784</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="158" src="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Prince-Andrew-playing-find-the-lady-300x158.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="Andrew playing find the lady" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Prince-Andrew-playing-find-the-lady-300x158.jpg 300w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Prince-Andrew-playing-find-the-lady-1024x538.jpg 1024w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Prince-Andrew-playing-find-the-lady-768x403.jpg 768w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Prince-Andrew-playing-find-the-lady.jpg 1200w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p class="excerpt">Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor received an undisclosed, supplementary income from a ‘Find the Lady’ game he ran in St. James’s Park over thirty years, the public spending watchdog has revealed.</p>]]></description>
		
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">170784</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>FIFA set to introduce fee for thinking about World Cup</title>
		<link>https://newsthump.com/2026/06/05/fifa-set-to-introduce-fee-for-thinking-about-world-cup/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Neil Tollfree]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Jun 2026 08:34:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[World]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[football]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsthump.com/?p=170777</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="158" src="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/FIFA-President-SAudi-defence-300x158.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="FIFA president defends Saudi World Cup" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/FIFA-President-SAudi-defence-300x158.jpg 300w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/FIFA-President-SAudi-defence-1024x538.jpg 1024w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/FIFA-President-SAudi-defence-768x403.jpg 768w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/FIFA-President-SAudi-defence.jpg 1200w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p class="excerpt">FIFA is set for criticism over plans to charge fans for thinking about the World Cup for the duration of the tournament.</p>]]></description>
		
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">170777</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Nation collapses in shock as Andy Burnham reveals true desire to become Prime Minister</title>
		<link>https://newsthump.com/2026/06/05/nation-collapses-in-shock-as-andy-burnham-reveals-true-desire-to-become-prime-minister/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Nathan Cowley]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Jun 2026 07:56:57 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Entertainment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UK]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsthump.com/?p=170794</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="158" src="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/andy-burnham-on-question-time-300x158.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="Andy Burnham on question time" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/andy-burnham-on-question-time-300x158.jpg 300w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/andy-burnham-on-question-time-1024x538.jpg 1024w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/andy-burnham-on-question-time-768x403.jpg 768w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/andy-burnham-on-question-time.jpg 1200w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p class="excerpt">Thousands of people across the UK have fainted today after Andy Burnham revealed his true desire to become Prime Minister.</p>]]></description>
		
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">170794</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Donald Trump aces new cognitive test distinguishing between reflecting pools and skyscrapers</title>
		<link>https://newsthump.com/2026/06/04/donald-trump-aces-new-cognitive-test-distinguishing-between-reflecting-pools-and-skyscrapers/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Nathan Cowley]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Jun 2026 18:45:28 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[World]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsthump.com/?p=170760</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="158" src="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Trump-sky-scrapers-300x158.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="Trump skyscraper cognitive test" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Trump-sky-scrapers-300x158.jpg 300w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Trump-sky-scrapers-1024x540.jpg 1024w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Trump-sky-scrapers-768x405.jpg 768w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Trump-sky-scrapers.jpg 1200w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p class="excerpt">Donald Trump has "aced" a brand new cognitive test asking him to distinguish between pictures of reflecting pools and skyscrapers, the US president has revealed. </p>]]></description>
		
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">170760</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>&#8216;My vision for Twitter was always an army of foreign nationals monetising propaganda to influence voters&#8217;, insists Elon Musk</title>
		<link>https://newsthump.com/2026/06/04/my-vision-for-twitter-was-always-an-army-of-foreign-nationals-monetising-propaganda-to-influence-voters-insists-elon-musk/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Andy Matthews]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Jun 2026 13:25:35 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[World]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsthump.com/?p=170737</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="300" height="158" src="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Elon-musk-thumbs-300x158.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="Elon Musk giving thumb up" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Elon-musk-thumbs-300x158.jpg 300w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Elon-musk-thumbs-768x403.jpg 768w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Elon-musk-thumbs-1024x538.jpg 1024w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Elon-musk-thumbs-640x336.jpg 640w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Elon-musk-thumbs-900x473.jpg 900w, https://newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Elon-musk-thumbs.jpg 1200w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p class="excerpt">After Twitter added a feature showing that the locations of many high-profile, well-followed political accounts were actually outside the countries they purport to represent, Elon Musk has insisted that this was his plan all along.</p>]]></description>
		
		
		
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