We’ve lamented together over infant teething, toddler defiance, teacher troubles and teenage defiance.  Sipping Dr. Pepper (her) and coffee (me), we’ve sliced, diced and julienned family conflicts, work issues, successful child discipline and failed recipes. I now live three hours away from Dawn and we don’t see each other much, but when I call or email her I can almost begin in the middle of a sentence and know she’ll understand me.

We have history.

Dawn turned 40 last month and mutual friends planned a surprise party. It didn’t take me long to decide to go. I would have driven twice the distance for the look on her face when I stepped out of my hiding place.

As I clicked through the party photostream last night I thought that someone else looking at those photos would not recognize the depth of our friendship. Everyone was smiling. Everyone hugged her. Everyone sang and clapped and refilled her drinks and contributed to the delicious buffet of her favorite foods. What didn’t show in the pictures were how much it meant to her that I’d made the trip, the smiles of recognition we shared when she spotted two bottles of Dr. Pepper on the bar, the memories we laughed over long after we kicked our shoes off, the beautiful thank you card that arrived a few days after I returned home.

When you look at someone’s Facebook wall, twitter stream or blog comments, you’re just seeing the tip of the iceberg. The real power of online networking rumbles just beneath the surface as private messages and emails criss cross and connect, leading to phone calls, coffee meetings, collaborations and partnerships.

The best part is the part you can’t see. It’s people building history.

Photo credit: Creativity + Timothy Hamilton via Flickr

I’m here to tell you, Mr. and Ms. Small Business, the ship is just coming into sight for you.

Stay focused on your goals and strategy, and spend time delivering value and encouraging communication with your customers. If it’s working (don’t waste your time in social media if you’re not measuring your results), you’re doing fine.

It takes time to establish a niche, find your voice and build a community. If you’re always trying to balance on the bleeding edge of new technology, you’re going to get hurt.

Photo credit: jamelah via Flickr

He took a deep breath as he backed slowly down the driveway. I felt my shoulders tighten and my brake foot tense (what if he hits the mailbox? what if he forgets to look both ways? what if he takes a curve too fast?), but realized that my approach on that very first outing with him behind the wheel would determine whether he tuned in or out the next time. Envisioning him a year later driving around without me to diligently depress my imaginary brake pedal when he needed to slow down, I knew that I really wanted him to hear me.

So when I wanted to say, “Slow down!” I made myself say, “Lift your foot off the gas.”
Instead of, “Can’t you see that kid on his bike!?” I said, “Make sure you give him some room so he knows you see him.”
And rather than gasping and blurting, “Don’t get too close!” I asked, “How many car lengths of space did your driver’s ed. teacher recommend?”

With teenagers – with anyone – effective communication relies on considering their point of view and saying things so that they’ll listen with interest. That means thinking about culture, expectations, environment and mood. So if you’re going to network online or try to encourage two-way communication with your customers (or your client’s customers), consider who you’re talking to, what they expect to read, where they’re spending their time and the general mood.

The challenge here is determining these things in a situation where you can’t see the people you’re trying to communicate with. The only way to understand what those people might appreciate and respond to is to sit back, be an observer and think before you speak. If you shoot from the hip, you might shoot down your chances to connect.

When my son drove me to the pet store the other day, I went to the passenger’s side without hesitancy. As he put the key in the ignition he said, “I thought you were going to be nervous and critical and I wouldn’t want to drive with you. But you’re cool, Mom.”

Just what I needed to hear.

Photo credit: baking_in_pearls via flickr

I had spent tons of time on a paper that was returned to me with a pulsating “C” on it. “What gives?!” I thought and marched up to her desk, requesting an explanation for why she panned my 18-year-old brilliance. “This is nothing but a regurgitation,” she said simply. “A summary is not an analysis. Next time, put some thought into it.”

Filled with righteousness indignation, I spent the rest of the day seething about how unreasonable she was. I was just too immature to accept the gift she was handing me, and it took a few more thudding grades to “get it.”

To get the traffic and attention you want for your blog, listen to my freshman English professor. Although she’d never use the term “thought leader,” that’s exactly what she was encouraging us bright-eyed freshman to be. To take your blog posts, traffic and comments skyward, and break the “me-too” blogger habit, try this:

Observe
“Live in the moment” is important guidance for a writer. Pay attention to everything that happens around you. If you’re an overthinker like me, it’s easy to get lost inside your own head. The trouble with that is that you miss out on plenty of juicy ideas and stories. If you’re dismissing this concept, yet you find yourself at a loss for blog post ideas, just give it a try. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised to discover what you’re missing out there.

Think
When you make an interesting observation, latch onto it. Look at it carefully from all sides before you toss it into your memory dumpster. If it’s not clearly a post topic, it may be a colorful story you can twist into a post. If it’s something you read somewhere else, and you think it’s worth writing about yourself, have at it – but not before you take the next step.

Lift Off!
This is where you “use the brains God gave you,” as my gruff (but loveable) Italian grandpa used to say. So far, you’ve got “C” material. Now you need to make it an “A.” Foodie that I am, I like to think of this as the taffy pull. When you make taffy you start with a pot full of hot sugar syrup. It’s not until you knead and pull it that it becomes a delectably chewy confection. So give that idea a good pull and see what you can make of it. For example, the fact that more people have camera phones is an observation. Concluding that digital camera sales may fall takes some brain power. Outlining ways small businesses can invite customers to post pictures of themselves buying or using their products while they’re out and about – now that’s taking it up a notch.

Photo credit: Howzey via Flickr

If you’re a blogger, you won’t be able to get blogging off your mind. Blog post ideas will pop into your mind as you choose the best peaches, walk the dog and get your car inspected. You’ll obsess over missed opportunities to share ideas and insights, and conversations you wished you’d started but didn’t.

How do I know? Check the dates on my last few posts. Yeah, I’m a blogger.

If you’re a blogger too, but have trouble finding time to indulge your passion (or you’re a business blogger who needs to get it together) check out these links:

Ten Ways to Find More Time to Write

The Most Powerful Way to Get Unstuck

How to Get More Time to Blog

I plan to use all these suggestions and more to get back on the blogging track. How do you stay focused on what matters?

Photo credit: Ben and Gillian via Flickr

Best practices will emerge and benefits will become clearer as time goes on, but there’s one thing that time can’t give you – the appeal of doing something new, unexpected and even a little risky.

According to a recent AdAge article, a New Orleans pizza shop is generating quite a buzz with twitter, just because it’s a fresh, new approach. So by waiting for the newness to wear off social media you may be passing up the simplest route to getting some publicity – daring to go where no dry cleaner, landscaper or grocery store has gone before.

More good news from the AdAge article: Naked Pizza is also measuring the results and proving the ROI of using twitter. Music to a social media enthusiast’s ears.

Hurry! This opportunity won’t last long.

Please add more inspirational ideas in the comments.

LisaHoffmann: Where do you turn when you need inspiration?

about 2 hours ago

Thu Apr 30 13:01:14 +0000 2009

Narciso17: More often than not: MUSIC…I use it when I paint, write and get my groove on…!

about 2 hours ago

Thu Apr 30 13:02:20 +0000 2009

BeeRealty: I turn to the great outdoors for inspiration. But that's just me. Hope you are having a great week!

about 2 hours ago

Thu Apr 30 13:02:24 +0000 2009

heatherrast: Mindless focus like planting helps. Listening 2 rain, tree frogs. Magazines, old photos. Even reading jacket/excerpts of books

about 2 hours ago

Thu Apr 30 13:04:54 +0000 2009

bethschillaci: A drive to clear my thoughts or a conversation with my 4 y.o. Her POV and honesty often brings forth inspiring thoughts.

about 2 hours ago

Thu Apr 30 13:06:26 +0000 2009

LMStellaPR: magazines

about 2 hours ago

Thu Apr 30 13:10:12 +0000 2009

GenevieveJooste: re inspiration: friends and family for sure and sometimes a good book

about an hour ago

Thu Apr 30 13:15:33 +0000 2009

TowandaL: I do something mindless (watch movie, read mag, surf net) or turn on music and dance! I'm better when I move outta my way.

about an hour ago

Thu Apr 30 13:15:36 +0000 2009

julianng: I turn to the garden or some qi gong /tai chi moves always helps to recenter myself. I think my neighbors think i'm nuts

about an hour ago

Thu Apr 30 13:15:39 +0000 2009

melissaconnolly: outdoor activities – whether it be gardening, fishing, walking, etc; the fresh air and change of scenery inspires me

about an hour ago

Thu Apr 30 13:24:14 +0000 2009

summerplum: I go for walks. Or read interesting books – usually outside my industry. Helps me think different.

about an hour ago

Thu Apr 30 13:45:13 +0000 2009

LisaHoffmann: What do you do for inspiration?

about 9 minutes ago

Thu Apr 30 15:14:38 +0000 2009

joshcanhelp: RE: inspiration: sleep more, doodle in bed, space out

about 8 minutes ago

Thu Apr 30 15:15:43 +0000 2009

CCSavage: For inspiration? Read the @CreativeReview blog –> http://www.creativereview.co.uk/crblog/

about 8 minutes ago

Thu Apr 30 15:15:58 +0000 2009

TomMartin: stroll through the French Quarter. Or listen to music while staring out the window. Things tend to click then.

about 7 minutes ago

Thu Apr 30 15:17:19 +0000 2009

Eric_Urbane: Meditate, Sit in Silence, then Rock the Day!

about 7 minutes ago

Thu Apr 30 15:17:26 +0000 2009

write_pdx: Inspiration = being outside, clearing my head of the negatives, listening to music I love, reading something fabulous.

about 7 minutes ago

Thu Apr 30 15:17:29 +0000 2009

TheWaterProject: I listen to our field partners. Less talk from me. I'm always inspired to get them more resources…more quickly.

about 6 minutes ago

Thu Apr 30 15:18:29 +0000 2009

lallee: Inspiration comes to me when my mind is quiet enough for it to get through . Walking and cleaning the house quiets my mind.

about 5 minutes ago

Thu Apr 30 15:18:45 +0000 2009

christinelexa: Watch the birds build nests out my window. Simple scraps weaved together to create home. Use what you have or can find.

about 3 minutes ago

Thu Apr 30 15:21:21 +0000 2009

Photo credit: .krish.Tipirneni. via Flickr

So when I meet people who think my rants against making people register to comment on blogs mean I’ve just had too much caffeine, what do I talk about? You guessed it.

Just as twitter is the Chuck Norris of Ice Breakers, social media is a great conversation starter. Because almost everyone wants to know more about it. And most people don’t check for @replies and DMs before they start coffee in the morning. (What, you don’t?)

I know I can help people outside the social media “fish bowl.” And I like that. Networking is all about giving before you get, and my rabid interest in social media gives me plenty to share. 

When you walk into a room of people who “don’t get it” it’s easy to write them off and start checking your watch. But when I show a company leader that Yammer can alert her to problems just beginning to brew, explain how an authentic company blog can be like a town square, or demonstrate that social media offer powerful customer service enhancements, people of all ages and industries want to know more.

You never know where your next client or job opportunity may come from.

The next time you’re moving through a room of people who think their static website creates an online presence, don’t head straight to the bar. Connecting the dots between technology and business development can open their eyes – and open some doors.

Photo credit: robynejay via Flickr

This is controlling, relationship-killing behavior. The same secrets that destroy marriages (I didn’t want to tell you that we have $10,000 in credit card debt because I didn’t want to worry you”) will destroy your business relationships too (I didn’t want to tell you that we’re carrying $10 million in bad debt because I didn’t want to worry you”).

I’m an adult, thank you very much, and I’d like to make my own decisions based on the facts. This is why so many people don’t trust politicians and corporate heads – because they are withholding information in order to manipulate your actions. And this manipulation takes a jackhammer to trust.

Bloggers are looking out for us, though. It didn’t really hit me until I saw the recent firestorm around Jeremiah Owyang’s post about Mzinga and subsequent apology. In a nutshell, Owyang wrote that he had reliable information indicating that Mzinga was in some financial trouble and strongly recommended that “any Mzinga clients or prospects stall any additional movement till they [Mzinga representatives] brief me.” The majority of more than 80 comments lambasted Owyang for speaking out of turn. “Wait for more information,” they said. “You’re an influencer, don’t be so irresponsible.”

But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to shake Owyang’s hand for taking a risk on our behalf.

I haven’t spoken to Owyang or anyone at Forrester, but here’s what I know: Jeremiah Owyang is someone I have grown to admire and trust. He is smart, insightful and strives to present truthful, helpful, well-thought-out information. He’s not known for risky, impulsive behavior. In his initial post, he was looking out for his clients and anyone else who may be considering establishing or deepening his or her relationship with Mzinga. And that strengthens my trust in him.

Why should presidents, CEOs and high-powered politicians be the only ones who know – and benefit from – important truths? Jon Stewart recently championed for we commoners when he opened fire on popular financial advisor and TV personality Jim Cramer. Blogging gives people who are decidedly less well known than Jon Stewart a platform to offer up information we need to protect our interests.

But my practical, business-minded side says that companies and government agencies can’t make everything public. Complete transparency isn’t likely. In fact, I’m not convinced that it’s even desirable. But I do believe that bloggers have the power to keep more corporations and political entities in check.

So what do you think? Where is the line between transparency and irresponsibility? 

By the way, it turns out that Owyang was right.

Photo credit: Elena Farley via Flickr

Thanks to Jessica Gottlieb for the idea.

Photo credit: McBeth via Flickr