Neil Strauss : Style in Focus

Neil Strauss’s Top 10 PickUp Methods

noreply@blogger.com (Alexis) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 22:34:00 +0000

Neil Strauss, author of “The Game”, shares 10 pickup methods to increase a woman's attraction/

Number 10
Smile when you walk into a room
See the group with the target and follow the three-second rule. Do not hesitate — approach instantly.

Number 9
The opener should open the group, not just the target
When talking, ignore the target for the most part. If there are men in the group, focus your attention on the men.

Number 8
Neg the target
Neg the target with one of the slew of negs we’ve come up with. Tell her, “It’s so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh.” Then get her friends to notice and laugh about it.

Number 7
Convey personality to the entire group
Do this by using stories, magic, anecdotes, and humor. Pay particular attention to the men and less attractive women. During this time, the target will notice that you are the center of attention. You may perform various memorized pieces like the photo routine, but only for the obstacles.

[The photo routine involves carrying an envelope of photos in a jacket pocket, as if they’ve just been developed. Each photo, however, is pre-selected to convey a different aspect of the PUA (Pickup Artist)’s personality, such as images of the PUA with beautiful women, with children, with pets, with celebrities, goofing off with friends, and doing something active like roller-blading or skydiving. The PUA should also have a short, witty story to accompany each photo.]

Number 6
Ask the group, “So, how does everyone know each other?”
If the target is with one of the guys, find out how long they’ve been together. If it’s a serious relationship, eject politely by saying, “Pleasure meeting you.”

Number 5
Ask permission to take her away from the group
If she is not spoken for, say to the group, “I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it alright if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?” They always say, “Uh, sure. If it’s okay with her.” If you’ve executed the preceding steps correctly, she will agree.

Number 4
Hold her hand
Isolate her from the group by telling her you want to show her something cool. Take her to sit with you nearby. As you lead her through the crowd, do a kino test by holding her hand. If she squeezes back, it’s on. Start looking for other IOIs.

Number 3
Ask her about her qualities
Tell her, “Beauty is common but what’s rare is a great energy and outlook on life. Tell me, what do you have inside that would make me want to know you as more than a mere face in the crowd?” If she begins to list qualities, this is a positive IOI.

Number 2
Stop talking
Does she reinitiate the chat with a question that begins with the word “So?” If she does, you’ve now seen three IOIs and can…

Number 1
Kiss close
Say, out of the blue, “Would you like to kiss me?” If the setting or circumstances aren’t conducive to physical intimacy, then give yourself a time constraint by saying, “I have to go, but we should continue this.” Then get her number and leave.

Source : TSB Magazine

Review of "The Game," by Neil Strauss

noreply@blogger.com (Alexis) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 22:13:00 +0000

A story about a guy who knows next to nothing about girls, then not only meets a secret society of pick-up artists who teach him how to score loads of beautiful women, but also becomes THE master pick-up artist himself, who both his students and his teachers go to for tips on how to deal and score with women. Sounds great, doesn’t it? The best part about it is, It’s true, and documented in Neil Strauss’ excellent book, “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-up Artists.”

If you’ve ever heard of Neil Strauss before, this book provides a fascinating account of what made him Syle, his seduction society pseudonym. And if you have never heard of him, this book will make you WANT to know who he is. Not only does he provide a fascinating look into the many methods of gaining women’s attention—and phone numbers, and panties—but describes in detail the crazy characters who make up this “society of pick-up artists”, as well.

What’s great about this book, as opposed to all the other ones out there for horny guys wanting to get laid, is the way it’s set up. It’s not a lesson-by-lesson tome detailing “forbidden” methods of “tricking” women into going to bed with you. It’s actually more of one man’s personal account of the frustrations and victories of dealing with women. You learn your lessons, as Strauss learns his own. It’s a description of one man’s journey from master loser, to master seductor. And you can benefit from the knowledge Strauss' shares, first-hand, in thrilling detail.

It all starts with Neil Strauss’ account of growing up “far from attractive,” and far from satisfied with his sex life. All it took to change that was a call from a book editor, asking Strauss to take the mysterious “Layguide” that existed on the Internet, and turn it into a “coherent how-to book”. Though hesitant at first, Strauss finds himself curious—and you the reader curious, as well. While investigating this patchwork of notes on how to get busy, he finds himself delving into a world he—nor the majority of people out there–hardly knew existed…and becoming one of the biggest parts of it. As he writes, “If the layguide had never crossed my path, I, like most men, would never have evolved in my thinking about the opposite sex.” But thanks to discovering it, Style began his journey of transformation from single loser to a guy commanding thousands for his seduction services and advice.

Along the way, he discovers a host of crazy characters and all their "unique" (to say the least!) methods: Mystery and the Mystery Method; Tyler Durden and Papa, and Real Social Dynamics; David DeAngelo and Double Your Dating; Ross Jeffries and Neurolinguistic Programming. There’s also a range of guys with interesting pseudonyms of their own: Thundercat, Jlaix, Herbal, Jughead. It’s hard not to laugh as you come across some of these crazy characters and their interesting methods of creating attraction: 3-second ATCs, going "kino", negging. It’s funny enough to hear what these methods are; learning about what they are as revealed by the various characters, makes the book often hysterical.

What I find best about "The Game" is the way it’s described as a journey. As I’ve said before in my posts, life really is a journey, and so is the whole process of becoming a better lover. Style’s way of teaching us his lessons isn’t academic, point-by-point lessons. It’s through describing his growth, and letting you grow (and laugh, and groan) with him. If you want to learn what IOIs, 3-sets, negs, ATCs, and peacocking all are, you don’t have to play “The Game”. Just read it!

Source : EzineArticles

Neil Strauss’ Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Approaching Women

noreply@blogger.com (Alexis) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:33:00 +0000

I don’t know about you but I have slowly learned that there aren’t any rules in the field of social dynamics that you can’t break or bend. For every rule I read, all I can think of is: why not? What’s important is not what you can or cannot do, it’s how you do things. Any “dos or do-nots” lists that you read on MSN or Yahoo dating sites are just mumbo jumbo that is prescribed by society. Neil Strauss’ special report is no exception. His article describes what I would call “best practices” for the aspiring PUA. Each point he makes should be seen as a guideline, not a strict rule that you can’t break or bend. Let me comment on what I feel is interesting to note in italics:

1. Don’t wait to approach her until she’s alone. Even if she likes you, her friends will soon drag her away.
Overall, good advice. However, if you find yourself approaching her alone and her friend comes in to drag her away, it’s your job to introduce yourself to him/her first and pre-empt the drag away.

2. Don’t stare at her for more than three seconds before approaching. Hesitate, and you’ll either creep her out or psyche yourself out.
Staring for too long is bad, period. If you’ve held a little bit of eye contact, it’s your cue to approach. From time to time, it’s OK to watch from a distance in a non-intrusive way. You can learn a lot by watching the circumstances of the person you are trying to approach. Timing CAN be important. However, this ONLY applies to someone who has no approach anxiety. Most guys who have approach anxiety shouldn’t do it because they will talk themselves out of the approach.

3. Don’t be afraid to approach her just because there are men in the group. Often, you’ll discover that she’s with family, friends, or co-workers.
Absolutely! Men are actually easier to approach than women so you should start with them. Men typically don’t care who you are and what you look like. As long as you are fun and cool, they’ll talk to you.

4. Never open a conversation by apologizing. Phrases like “Excuse me… “ “Pardon me… “ and “I’m sorry, but… “ make you sound like a beggar.
I don’t agree with this. The first step to making a successful approach is getting your presence acknowledged. You can do this by a simple “hey!” or by calling attention to yourself by slightly touching the outside of their arm. Using ”Excuse me…” is not optimal but is completely socially acceptable. It is polite. The key to doing this is to deliver it right. You want to say your “Pardon me…” from a position of authority and high value. Do not pause after it. Go straight into your opening dialogue.

5. Don’t hit on her or give her a generic compliment. Instead, start a conversation with an entertaining anecdote or question, such as asking the group to suggest names for a three-legged cat or a store that sells 70’s memorabilia. It may sound corny, but everyone loves to give their opinion.
Generally speaking, it’s a bad idea to show excessive sexual interest in a woman too early because most guys do not know how to follow-up without being too nice. However, don’t feel restrained by this rule. Using a compliment as a sign of genuine interest can work just fine. What you want to do after the compliment is to go directly into the personal and get the girl to commit back into talking to you.

6. Never, ever buy her a drink. You shouldn’t have to pay for her attention.
Agreed. You don’t have to buy anyone a drink to buy their attention at the start of a conversation. You can buy her a drink later if you are wanting to be friendly. Just know that women have an unspoken rule about drinks. If a girl likes you, she will buy you a drink. If she doesn’t, she’ll let you buy her a drink. This has been confirmed by many of my female friends.

7. Don’t touch or grab her right away. If she touches you, say, with a smile, “Hey now, hands off the merchandise.”
I personally hate that line. I understand that you are trying to convey that you aren’t easy… but there are so many other things you can do that would show that. If a girl touches me, I actually like it! I want to reward that, not punish it. When it’s you who want to touch her, don’t get all over her right away. It’s better to start with casual and friendly touching.

8. Don’t lean in or hover over her. Stand up straight and, if the music’s too loud or she’s seated, simply speak up.
Yes, I agree but don’t take this to the other extreme either. Leaning once in a while because you are REALLY interested in the conversation is a good sign that you are paying attention. Women appreciate that.

9. Don’t ask her what her name is, what she does for a living, or where she’s from. She’s bored of talking about the same things with every new guy she meets.
Yes, and no. You can ask these boring questions as long as they lead to interesting dialogue. The way to do it is to always add value when you respond/relate to what she tells you. Typically, limit yourself to 1-3 of them and if you can, don’t ask them all at the beginning. Spread them out instead. Asking/answering a few of these questions actually help you because the woman can easily identify you in her mind. It makes her feel comfortable with who you are. Obviously, there are a few better ways to do this as well.

10. Don’t focus all your attention on her when she’s with other people. If you win her friends over, you’ll win her.
Yes, always be social and friendly to everyone in her group until you decide to isolate her. Having fun, making others have fun and making connections is always a win-win situation.

In short, Neil Strauss’ advice is solid but know that you can break or bend these rules at any given time as long as you do it right. Your actions have to come from the right place.

On a different note, I want a cool job (aka challenging and fun). Anyone has something to offer? :)

Source : Kiss N' Tale

Why Neil Strauss is the Best PUA (Pick Up Artist)

noreply@blogger.com (Alexis) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:24:00 +0000

I am one of the subscribers to the Neil Strauss mailing list, and just a few minutes ago I read one of his latest e-mails talking about how the media has been portraying pick up artists. With the exception of The Pickup Artist in its first and second seasons on VH1, much of the media has portrayed pick up in a very negative light. And Neil Strauss remarks “this kind of pisses me off.” I don’t blame him.

Neil Strauss is the New York Times best selling author of The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. In the book, he candidly and vividly describes his journey from being a writer for Rolling Stone to transforming himself into one of the world’s most renowned pick up artists. Neil Strauss, also known by his pick up name Style, is now one of the foremost authorities on the art of the pick up. Of course, his writing career and success in the public light has definitely given him, and his buddy Mystery, a hand in launching themselves into the spotlight.

The fact that The Pickup Artist VH1 show has had such a positive message really has to do with Mystery being at the helm of the project. No doubt, the producers of the show made sure to stick to the pattern at the end of every episode when one of the contestants gets eliminated to say “this is not about picking up girls, it’s about building a life.” In fact, it truly is. Neil Strauss made the argument in his recent newsletter that pick up “socializes men” and the more social people are, the less anti-social behavior we will have.

In terms of who is the best pick up artist in the world is, I am under the personal opinion that Neil Strauss, aka Style, is no doubt the world’s best, for one simple reason - he knows he is not. His attitude to learning about social dynamics, romance, and dating is to not follow one teaching source and claim it as superior to all others as the marketing of each of these programs would like you to do. Instead, learn from all different sources you possibly can and figure out what works best for you.

Some people might want to follow the earliest known major pick up guru, Ross Jefferies, to the extent of dotting their I’s and crossing their T’s, while others may want to be loyal to Mystery, or David DeAngelo. Style chooses to follow an eclectic viewpoint.

But back to my original point: this is a developed field, and could even argued as being an area of fringe psychology almost the same as NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). Under my understanding of pick up as a psychology student currently working his way toward a bachelors degree at the University of Houston, some of the most major breakthroughs involving social dynamics made in our time have been made by people like Mystery and the rest of the “seduction community.” Pick up is about helping others to understand the initial triggers and mechanisms of attraction at a social level; pick up is not for losers or violent criminals.

Source : ScottLee.Name

Neil Strauss - Can You Approach Women Like Him Tonight?

noreply@blogger.com (Alexis) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 19:30:00 +0000

By Donovan Cruise

Have you gotten a chance to read The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick Up Artists?

You haven’t yet?

Bad, bad man. Especially seeing as you’re interested in meeting women.

We’ll I have read it. And guess what?

I want to share a secret I personally got from the writings of Neil Strauss author of “The Game”.

You see, he let us all in on a little secret!

Have you ever tried to approach a woman, and just not known what to do?

Hell, YES! (Everyone says)

Well… I have a suggestion that you can take (Or not), that has literally exploded my success with meeting and approaching women for the first time.

Would you like know what it is?

Well…

I’m not so sure.

I’ll give you this tip, and then you’ll run away, and not read my blog, and then who will be my friend?

Exactly. You see my point. Lucky I’m a nice guy though.

In the underground seduction community, you approach a woman with an “Opener”.

An opener is just what you first say in the opening lines of talking to her. Hence, it’s called an “Opener”.

So I’ll give you the simple and easy opener for approaching and meeting women. That can be used for a variety of situations.

Have you ever heard of Paris Hilton?

Hmmm…. I’m sure you have. *Wink*

Here is a real field approach and opener taken straight from the Neil Strauss book “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick Up Artists”. (From Section 7: Extract to a Seduction Location, Chapter 8, pg. 256)

“I got up, walked into the restaurant, and saw a hot blonde chick getting salsa. So I thought, “Salsa sounds good to me.” I’ve been gearing my game up for this moment, and now it was time to take what I deserved. So I walked over to her side and pretended like I was just at the salsa bar by coincidence. I helped myself to some salsa, and then looked over my right shoulder at her and started the conversation with Style’s [Neil Strauss] jealous girlfriend Opener.

Papa: Hey, I need a female opinion on something?
Girl: (Smiles and looks up) Okay.
Papa: Would you date a guy who was still friends with his ex-girlfriend?
Girl: Yeah. I think so. Sure.

I started to walk away, then turned back and continued the conversation.

Papa: Hmm. Actually, this is a two-part question.
Girl: (Smiles and giggles)
Papa: Imagine you were dating a guy who was still friends with his ex-girlfriend. And you were going to move in with him but he had a drawer with pictures of his ex-girlfriend – not nude pictures or anything, just regular pictures and some letters.
Girl: Ooh. I would so get rid of them. I would put them in a box.

I cut her off and continued with the opener…”

You were wondering who that girl was huh?

Well… Yes, that girl was Paris Hilton.

Amazing isn’t it?!

This ‘Jealous Girlfriend Opener’ is common within the seduction community. And hundreds of pickup artists around the world use it now.

I can tell you are a person of originality. Someone who doesn’t want to be ‘fake.’

So…

I know of a book, which gives you a specific formula on how to make your own “Openers”.

This book states: (pg 100)

“Opinion Openers are, for my money, the best type of Openers out there. This is because these types of Openers are engaging, do not telegraph interest, and can lead to some really great conversations.

The best way to engage someone for the first time is by asking their opinion on something. When doing so, you are able to get them to invest their own personal thoughts and feelings into your burgeoning conversation. And once that’s invested, they are more likely to commit themselves to the interaction.

A good Opinion Opener can be anything that does not telegraph interest, while presenting options to your target that helps to encourage them to give and expand upon their opinion…”

That is just one part of the explanation and he later gives you a detailed way to create your own Opinion Openers.

Alright!

So you understand the basic idea of what an Opinion Opener is, correct?

Well, what about a…

* Advice Opener
* Compliment Opener
* Direct Opener
* Drama Opener
* Insult Opener
* Joke Opener
* Online Opener
* Roleplay Opener
* Situational Opener
* Etc…

Throughout the course of his book, he breaks these Openers down for you, defines them, gives you examples of them, and even shows you the structure of each Opener so you’ll know how to construct hundreds for your own personality and whichever situation you could possibly ever meet women in!

Imagine:

* Walking up to any girl and getting her number
* Creating an interesting and addictive conversation with a woman you just met
* Eliminating your fear of rejection with women

This book is a must for ANY man who has a healthy sexual appetite for beautiful women.

Is that you?? Maybe… (I hope so…)

I have referred my best friends to this book that have come to me for advice about approaching women. It is an essential resource for a man to have in his arsenal to attract any woman.

Sorry, I forgot to tell you the name.

Art of Approaching 2nd Edition by Thundercat.

Guess what else? There are plenty of other (not just Openers) easy-to-use techniques broken down in his book “Art of Approaching” which you can gain access through my website.

You’ll love it. I promise.

After studying behavior for many years, I know one thing: If you don't make the decision to get this part of your life handled right now, there's a very very small chance that you're going to do anything about it in the future.

You know how they say that you can't tell someone how to get somewhere unless you've been there yourself? Well I've been there, and I'm going to show you the way. Think about it...

Source: EzineArticles.com

Neil Strauss

noreply@blogger.com (Alexis) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 19:17:00 +0000

Neil Strauss (also known by his pen names Style or Chris Powles), is an American author, journalist and ghostwriter. He is a contributing editor at Rolling Stone and also writes regularly for The New York Times. He is well known for his best-selling book The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.

Biography

Neil Strauss was born on April 4th, 1969. After finishing a private Chicago high school, the Latin School of Chicago, Strauss attended Columbia University for two years, as well as Vassar College[1]. He began his career writing for Ear, an avant-garde magazine, before moving on to the Village Voice, where he did everything from copy-editing to fact-checking. He was invited by Jon Pareles to become a music critic at The New York Times, where he wrote the Pop Life column. He was then invited by Jann Wenner to become a contributing editor at Rolling Stone where he wrote cover stories on Kurt Cobain, Madonna, Tom Cruise, Orlando Bloom, the Wu-Tang Clan, Gwen Stefani and Marilyn Manson. He won the ASCAP Deems Taylor Award for his coverage of Kurt Cobain's suicide for Rolling Stone and his profile of Eric Clapton in The New York Times Arts & Leisure section. He was also featured in Beck's music video Sexx Laws which also featured Jack Black.

Neil Strauss was a co-writer or ghostwriter of several best-selling books for various celebrities, including The Long Hard Road Out Of Hell with Marilyn Manson, The Dirt with Mötley Crüe, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale with Jenna Jameson, and Don't Try This At Home with Dave Navarro.

After leaving The New York Times to ghostwrite the memoir of Jameson, Strauss authored The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists (Regan Books, 2005), a book about a sub-culture of pick-up artists known as the seduction community. The book made a month-long appearance in the New York Times bestsellers list in September-October 2005, and reached the #1 position on Amazon.com immediately after its release in the United States.

His follow-up book, a controversial graphic novel How to Make Money Like a Porn Star, came out in 2006 on September 26. By 2006 Neil Strauss also came out with "Shoot", a short film about becoming a rockstar that he co-wrote, directed and performed in.

Seduction community

In the seduction community, Strauss is known by the pseudonym "Style" (also known as "Chris Powles"). Even though he claims in his book that it took him two years to come the greatest pick-up artist of the world he has been involved in the community at least back in 1998 when he had posted on the old version of asf -board on internet (adults seduction fast) under the name Chris Powles. In 2004 he published an article in the New York Times about his experiences.

The Game

In The Game, Strauss tells the tale of his transformation into "Style," a pickup artist under the tutelage of Mystery. The book charts two years in his life and intends that the first time Strauss was involved in the community was near the times that Mystery had his first pickup-workshop back in 2001, which Strauss attended. In reality the first time Neil Strauss had been involved in the community was back in 1998 when he had posted on the old version of seduction-site asf under the name Chris Powles. The places and characters were made a bit off in the book to make it more entertaining and easier story to follow. Like for example, the character Extramask in the book never attended the first Mystery workshop that Neil Strauss attended, and the first pick-up summit mentioned in the book, was actually the second annual pickup-summit. In addition to documenting his experiences with pickup artists like Mystery and Ross Jeffries, it also describes his interactions with celebrities including Britney Spears, Tom Cruise, and Courtney Love. Strauss writes of his distrust of pickup artists "Tyler Durden" and "Papa," the co-founders of Real Social Dynamics. In promoting his book, Strauss appeared on various TV shows, including The View and ABC Primetime, and he participated in many book signings.

The Annihilation Method

After publishing the book, Strauss temporarily retired as a pickup artist and settled with a long-term girlfriend Lisa Leveridge, who plays guitar in Courtney Love's all-female band The Chelsea. An article in the Sunday Mirror, however, suggested that Leveridge broke up with Strauss in February 2006 to date Robbie Williams. A more recent article in Ireland Online seems to indicate that she has broken up with Williams as well. Strauss denied the Williams rumor, but confirmed his breakup with Leveridge on his mailing list a few months later.

In Late 2005, Strauss passed his knowledge, which he has titled the "Annihilation Method", to 5 selected followers at a three-day seminar at his California home. In June 2006 he sold 375 exclusive copies of the "Annihilation Method" program to those who arrived first on his website, only375.com. Strauss completed an interview with the popular seduction blog The Attraction Chronicles in mid-June 2006 that helped to give members of the community a glimpse into his goals and future influence in the seduction community.[11] Strauss recently held a private reunion teleconference (Oct 12, 2007) with the men known as the "375" to see how they'd progressed in their lives.

Stylelife

Through his VIP mailing list, Strauss announced the Stylelife Challenge on May 31, 2006. The challenge was for those who have trouble with women to get a date in 30 days or less. During the entire month of July 2006, participants were given daily challenges on the Stylelife. These challenges were designed to help men makeover their look, overcome their fears, and get a date within a month. While the primary goal was simply for participants to get a date, the most improved won a week-end in San Diego with the famous Inner Game guru "Hypnotica" (see "Rasputin" in the Game). The Grand prize winner was "Taste".

On March 10, 2007, through his VIP mailing list, Strauss announced the Stylelife Academy, which he describes as the first online school for self-improvement and attraction. Enrolled students study a variety of subjects ranging from mind-shaping, to body language, to story telling, to being a good conversationalist in daily online classes.

Rules of the Game

While The Game was a memoir of Strauss' time in the seduction community, Rules of the Game is more of a how-to book on strategies for improving men's social lives. The book is split into two volumes: "The Stylelife Challenge: Master the Game in 30 Days" and "The Style Diaries: The Pickup Artist's Companion."

The "Stylelife Challenge" provides an introductory 30-day plan that includes techniques such as how to refine one's identity, how to approach strangers, how to get a phone number, how to perform cold reading, and other skills that will improve social success. This plan was introduced on the Stylelife website before.

"Style's Diaries" is a collection of short stories that were not included in The Game. These ribald tales include the time Strauss quite possibly married a woman in Reykjavik, Iceland, a frightening seduction experience in Bangladesh, and other adventures. The collection of short stories also contains a comic strip by former Marvel and DC Comics illustrator Bernard Chang. Chang previously collaborated with Strauss on the bestselling "The Game" as well as the graphic novel "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star."'

VIP Book Club

In January, 2007, Neil Strauss decided to form a book club composed of members of his personal mailing list neilstrauss.com. The purpose of the club is to challenge non-readers with works of serious literature. The club meets every Monday. Its reading selections so far have included Finnegan's Wake by James Joyce and Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy.

Source : Wikipedia