Nancy's Crazy Adventures

What A Week For The Welfare State.

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 18:43:00 +0000

I was dumbfounded yesterday to hear they had voted to do away with the social fund, as I've explained before this is essential for people on benefits as the money we receive to live on does not cover clothing and new appliances etc, we have to get a "budgeting loan" which we pay back for these items. And in the event of a crisis like benefits not turning up because of computer errors or other emergencies "crisis loans" are essential, and these are also paid back.
I'm also dumbfounded by the complete lack of attention the media seem to be paying to this, it's an incredibly serious situation, desperate vulnerable people will be driven to loan sharks and crime by this.
I don't know what me and my partner are going to do next time we need something too expensive to afford out of our fortnightly benefit money. There has been no talk of what will replace the social fund, what on earth are we supposed to do in the meantime? Go without clothes and basic home appliances like a fridge and cooker that everyone takes for granted? And what about in the event of a crisis? Should we just lay down and die like they appear to want us too?
I can see what they are trying to do, before the Condems came to power crime was at it's lowest rates since the 80's. They are clearly trying to force people even further into poverty and therefore to commit more crimes, this will make society worried about crime again, so come election time they can claim they will get "tough on crime" to win votes. Hopefully other parties will point out crime was dropping yearly before they came into power.anyway, and not just join in with the "tough on crime" approach.
I agree with Bendy Girl when she says society must be "Hallucinating through the round window" in some kind of opiate haze to allow these things to happen without a word. People really have to stand up and say something before it's too late and we end up with no welfare sate whatsoever.

My Spartacus Story, How WR Will Effect Me.

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 01:03:00 +0000

For most of this blogs life I have avoided talking about my personal situation and have tried to write about other subjects that interest me. Now however I'm starting to see how society needs to hear the stories of people like me to promote better understanding and compassion for all disabled people, whether their disability is visible or invisible.
I have suffered from Anxiety Based Depression and Insomnia for as long as I can remember, in fact until I was about 20 I didn't realize that everyone didn't feel the way I do every day, a state of what is actually disabling anxiety was that normal to me. When I was a child I can remember pretending to be asleep when my parents came to check on me so they wouldn't worry, as they had a lot to worry about. When I was born my mother was given 10 years to live due Type 1 Diabetes related illness. Just to clarify for people not in the know, type 1 Diabetes is the worst type where the person has to inject insulin 3 times a day, my mother got it when she was 14 which was in 1960's, treatment for the disease did not improve significantly until the 1980's, too late for my mother who developed many related illness's. Her eye sight completely went when I was 4, while in hospital in London her kidneys failed when I was 8. I remember waking up in the car to find us speeding across London an ambulance (containing my mother) in front of us and a Police car behind us. Apparently they thought she was going to die that night, but they managed to save her life temporarily by putting her on a form of renal Dialysis called CAPD, that was why they were moving her to another hospital. She had 11 strokes in her life, one finally killed her when I was 11.
It doesn't take a Psychology degree to work out why I grew up to be anxiety based depressive, but if that wasn't enough there's a family history of depression too. My paternal grandmother suffered from a number of painful physical illness's and was also a depressive, she committed suicide when my dad was 10, he came home from school and found her dead.
As a result of my illness holding down conventional employment is impossible as on bad days I cannot leave the house, the anti-depressants I take are supposed to help control anxiety, they don't they just make me feel less depressed . I often can't sleep at night and I quickly become tolerant to the sleeping pills the doctors give me so their is no relief from this.
I would love to work, and do have a voluntary job 2 days a week, they are obviously flexible on days when I can't come in or am late as I'm a volunteer, they can't sack me then there would be no one to open the shop. The propaganda being put around that people like me chose this lifestyle infuriates me. I do not qualify for DLA and have never received it, nor do I get any incapacity benefit (though technically I am on it, I just don't receive extra money) they don't pay all my rent either I have to find £50 a month or I face eviction.
I'm currently still on income support but soon will come the day I dread when I have to go for medical. The new system does not take into account my illness apparently, if I can stand up from sitting and raise my arms above my head I will be declared fit for work and be expected to apply for jobs after 1 year on ESA. I haven't worked properly for over 10 years, and my condition will not change. If by some miracle I do manage to get a job I will very probably be sacked for being late if I try to sleep and can't wake up in time, or for performing poorly if I try to go in without sleeping at all. That's if they don't sack me for the amount of sick days I have to take on bad days when I can't leave the house. When I get sacked and have to go back and claim Job Seekers I will be "punished" by having my benefits sanctioned for 6 weeks, as a result of this I won't be able to pay rent and will become homeless.
I truly don't know what the government expect people like me to do, I don't want to be like this, I'd love to have a job. Maybe if I could find one that earned me sufficient income to support myself that I could do from home it could work, but I can see no other way. I'm just left dreading the day I have to go and sign on again, so much I have seriously contemplated suicide. I hate to talk about it but there it is, the suicide rate on the Isle Of Wight is shockingly high compared to the rest of the South East. Two of my friends have hung themselves in the past couple of years, not the method I would choose, but I envy the fact they no longer have to worry like I do I must confess.

Are Cameron's Tories worse than Thatcher's?

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 14:32:00 +0000

Saw Labour Blogger and Tweeter Dr Eoin Clarke ask this morning "Why are Cameron's Tories worse than Thatcher's?" and it got me thinking, are they really? I'm actually struck by how much history appears to be repeating itself, and would say they are pretty much the same really. I'm still quite dumbfounded that people voted for the Tories again anyway, and now appear to be shocked at what they are doing. I mean look at the above picture of our current prime minister when he was young chap at Oxford during the Thatcher era, did anyone REALLY think it was going to be any different this time than it was under Thatcher?

If anything I think it's harder for this government and better for us this time as the advent of social media makes it easier for us to share our views with a wider audience, organize ourselves and protest what is happening. The strength of the recent "Spartacus Report" shows this, the media didn't cover it at all but we still managed to influence the government just through the strength of blogging and social media alone. So even if they can control the mainstream media we can still access other sources of information and find out the story from many different angles and form our own opinions, and when there are so many people it is harder for them to label us a few "fanatics" or "extremists". They have to actually listen or no one will vote for them next time it's as simple as that, they must be shitting themselves constantly. Look what it did to Tony Blair, he seemed to age about 20 years over the course of his government.

The Spartacus Report.

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 17:21:00 +0000

Sorry for my lack of posts in 2012 I have been very busy with my Open University Degree and have now passed the second year and am about to start the next. Recent events that disturbingly seem to be being largely avoided and ignored by the media in general have prompted me to make this post however.

It has been reported that the government were defeated by 224 votes on their plans for changes to DLA and ESA due to a campaign and report called "Responsible Reform" but also known as "The Spartacus Report". Which though ignored by the media, thankfully has been received by those who have the power. It's still not over though, they have to vote again About DLA, but are probably back peddling now and hopefully won't go through with it, they are mainly Conservative bastards however so you never know.

Here are links to Some excellent articles on the situation I recommend if you want to know more, and please share them on facebook and twitter if you can using the hash tag #spartacusreport on twitter. the first by Ekklesia:

Campaign Against Disability And Welfare Cuts Steps Up

And a second by Blogger and campaigner Bendy Girl

Our Response To The Government Today

Both help to explain what the Spartacus report is, and how the proposed changes will effect people in genuine need if they go ahead.

The government and media are failing to report vital facts like The actual fraud rate for DLA is 1% and that it is really difficult to qualify for DLA. So everyone who is getting it really needs it, in fact because it's so hard to qualify there are probably people out there who do need it and aren't getting it. Everyone I know who gets it had to fight for it, you need a case worker (a type of social worker) to write letters for you and campaign on your behalf or you have very little chance of getting it. Many disabled people (including people with mental illness) don't have a case worker as there is a terrible lack of funding to provide them so only people with the gravest level of need get them.

The governments desire to cut DLA is clearly just a cost cutting measure and will take away vital independence and help from many people who genuinely need it. I suppose they are expecting charities and volunteers to take it's place with their poorly conceived "Big Society" idea , but these are also struggling to find the funding to help all the people in need, so many people will slip through the net and suffer.

They are also trying to do away with the social fund, that allows benefit claimants to get loans which they pay back out of their benefits. This is because the money you are given to live on doesn't include money for new clothing and household appliances etc, so you have to take out a loan to buy these things, and the social fund doesn't charge interest, so you only pay back what you have borrowed. Without these loans people will be driven to illegal loan sharks and all the legal companies like provident that rob you blind with their interest. It is very worrying they are even considering stopping the social fund as as I said people pay back the loans they get, it's not free money, and it's essential for buying larger items and clothes.

we can only wait now and see what's going to happen, hopefully through the social media and our blogs we can get public support as well as support from the government and other organizations we can prevent the situations of many vulnerable people getting any worse than they already are in this current economic climate.

The Hardest Hit

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Sat, 14 May 2011 09:52:00 +0000

What they didn't show on the news, are we really scroungers?

In Support Of All The Disabled People Marching Today In London To Protest Against Cuts.

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Wed, 11 May 2011 12:33:00 +0000

Today there is march by disabled people to protest against the appalling cuts to DLA, and the new ESA that disqualifies 93% of claimants. I'd also like to speak for all the people suffering from less visible mental illnesses like Anxiety Based Depression and Social Anxiety Disorder, both of which I suffer from.

I haven't been called in for my medical yet but it looks pretty certain I will be declared "Fit to work" and made to go onto Job seekers allowance, as I have heard the new medical is based purely on physical ability. The fact I find it difficult to speak to anyone I don't know will not be considered, the fact that some days I can't even go into a shop and purchase anything because the interaction with the shop keeper is too much for me will not count an iota. This will mean I then have to apply for already oversubscribed jobs alongside fit people who have only been out of work a couple of weeks, when I haven't worked for nearly 10 years because of mental health issues.

What am I supposed to do on the days when I am experiencing uncontrollable crying and shaking coupled with suicidal thoughts? Go into work and hope my employer understands? I obviously have no chance of finding conventional employment, and what will happen to those with worse mental illness's than me? What about the people who are bipolar and schizophrenic? Will they have to work too? Do the government really think that showing an advert where a man in an office asks another man about his mental health problems will really change employers attitudes to mental health issues enough for them to employ the thousands of us suffering, over the perfectly well people also applying for jobs? What planet are these people from? How long will it be before we are like America, where ALL the mentally ill people not lucky enough to have family rich enough to support them end up homeless and the well people step over them in the street without even seeing?

Since their election the Tories seem to be trying to destroy everything that has ever made me proud to be British, the welfare system that protects our societies most vulnerable, and the NHS that ensures everyone has access to health care. Who is voting for these people, seriously? This country really has to look at what is going on, half of us don't even bother to vote anymore, if we did maybe it would make a difference. But no, people would rather vote for the X factor star of their choice than for who has control of our entire economy and government.

Cat Pics!

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Fri, 06 May 2011 09:26:00 +0000

A break from all the doom and gloom with a couple of pictures of tabitha and Gizmo, since I haven't posted anything of them for a while. Enjoy.

Tomorrows UK Election And Referendum

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Wed, 04 May 2011 11:19:00 +0000

I intend to vote "Yes" tomorrow to the AV system, it's been funny to watch the conservatives freaking out, as under the new system (if we get it) they will struggle to be elected as they often get through on less than 50% of the vote. I just hope the masses aren't stupid enough to fall for their message that the AV system is hard to understand, you'd have to be pretty stupid to not understand it. They use it in the house of commons to elect their own leaders too, so if it's so flawed and hard to understand why are they using it every day? It's the same as the X factor for gods sake, and people seem to understand that alright.

Personally though I don't think it's the voting system in this country that's the problem, I think it's the fact hardly anyone bothers to vote anymore. If everyone who didn't vote suddenly started it would really shake things up, and hopefully having a fairer voting system will encourage more people to actually register.
And yes this year I'm going to vote Green, for the big one last year I actually voted Lib Dem, and have been treated the spectacle of Nick Clegg being made David Cameron's Bitch ever since, so won't be doing that again in a hurry. There are some Green party candidates in Parliament so it is worth voting for them now, it will be very interesting to see what happens at tomorrows elections in light of the spending cuts, I wonder how many people will still be stupid enough to vote conservative....

And here's an amusing video explaining the AV system using cats, judging by the comments it seems to have confused people a bit, remeber all the cats are different parties, not just the dog.

Bring on reform cat I say! :)

Happy Beltane!

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Sun, 01 May 2011 20:39:00 +0000

New Networks I've Discovered

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 09:50:00 +0000

Regular readers will remember my post about being on sickness benefits due to anxiety based depression and social anxiety. Of course all the recent talk of the government trying to force people who cannot work back onto the dole (which is what will happen as there are not enough jobs for those able to work let alone all us that can't) has only served to make me more anxious and has driven me back onto medication.
It's given me some comfort today to find a network of blogs written by people in just my situation, including one which aims to promote self employment opportunities for people unable to take up conventional employment "workshy.info An Alternative work club" (see their button in my sidebar). Hopefully as the word spreads about sites like this we'll be able to find real decent earning opportunities and not have to depend on benefits so much.
I also found a blog provocatively titled "Diary Of A Benefit Scrounger" (http://diaryofabenefitscrounger.blogspot.com/) a wonderfully written blog aiming to expose the truth about all us "benefit scroungers", and not the government propaganda that we're all here because we made a lifestyle choice and don't want to work.
I'd love to work but crippling anxiety and a lack of suitable jobs prevents me from doing that by conventional means. There are thousands like me unable to work due to painful physical and mental illness's that are no fault of our own, so before you judge us and call us work shy scroungers put yourself in our shoes for a moment. Anyone could become unemployed in the current climate so if you have a job you are one of the lucky ones.

Happy Easter!

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 11:50:00 +0000

And God Save The Queen!

Sex Pistols
Never Mind the Bollocks Here's the Sex... (1977)
God Save The Queen

God save the Queen
the fascist regime,
they made you a moron
a potential H-bomb.

God save the Queen
she ain't no human being.
There is no future
in England's dreaming

Don't be told what you want
Don't be told what you need.
There's no future
there's no future
there's no future for you

God save the Queen
we mean it man
we love our queen
God saves

God save the Queen
'cos tourists are money
and our figurehead
is not what she seems

Oh God save history
God save your mad parade
Oh Lord God have mercy
all crimes are paid.

When there's no future
how can there be sin
we're the flowers
in the dustbin
we're the poison
in your human machine
we're the future
you're future

God save the Queen
we mean it man
we love our queen
God saves

God save the Queen
we mean it man
there is no future
in England's dreaming

No future
no future for you
no fufure for me

Get "God Save The Queen" To Number One For The Royal Wedding

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 18:49:00 +0000

Update 28-04-11- The song has fallen out of the top 100 despite nearly reaching the top 40 at the beginning of the week, so unless there is a small miracle this won't happen. If you haven't actually bought the song yet you have until midnight tomorrow to effect the charts for the week of the Royal wedding. Spread the word and get everyone you know to download the song anyway, it could still be done.

Update, It's Thursday and the song is number 82 in the amazon download charts so we really need people to buy the song before midnight on Saturday, please spread the word, post about it on your own blogs and tell everyone you think might be interested!

I'd like to start this post by saying from the out set, I have nothing against William and Kate getting married. I've always had a soft spot for William and Harry (not got a soft spot for their nan or dad, but that's another story...), I'm about the same age as Wiliam and my mother also died when I was at a similar age to the age he was. I found walking into her funeral difficult to say the least, I can't imagine what it must have been like to have had to walk into your mothers funeral in front of the eye's of thousands. Harry has already said on the news they wanted a private wedding for friends and family only, but instead we continue to subject them to media glare.
I also believe that at a time of such harsh spending cuts it's a slap in the face to everyone who's just lost their jobs or had their houses repossessed to spend such a huge amount on a lavish wedding when the only the only people that matter, William and Kate, don't even really want it. I have no desire to watch their wedding, I wish them the best of luck but I don't know them why on earth should I be interested? And I am not the only person who feels this way, it's clear there are thousands upon thousands of people who couldn't care less, so why are the media paying so much attention to this when they should be focusing on the upcoming referendum (vote yes by the way), or the conflict in Libya, an indeed all over the middle east. That is why I say get "God save The Queen" to number one, let them know we no longer care about the royals in the way we used to, they can get married without every detail being broadcast to the world.

You can find the facebook page for the campaign by clicking here

Or if you don't use face book Click here to buy the song on Amazon Or here to buy it on iTunes

Help Libyans Before It's Too Late.

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 12:08:00 +0000

I've watched with horror as events in Libya unfolded over the past few days, it makes you feel so helpless to do anything to help. I have however found two actions you and I can take to put pressure on the governments of the world to do something.
This first link is from Amnesty International and you can send an email to ask William Hague to tighten UK arms controls. As it seems the weapons being used on peaceful protestors in Libya were made and supplied by a company in Leicetershire! Click here to find out more and send the email.
The second link is from Avaaz.org and is calling for the UN to stop the crackdown in Libya Click here to add your support.
It annoys me to think we invaded Kosovo and Iraq for less than what is going on Libya right now, it just goes to show that it wasn't about Human Rights abuse at all. If it were we would have invaded China and Libya years ago, Kosovo was just a rehersal for Iraq and Afghanistan, and they were just about Bush family vendetta's and oil.

The Love Police.

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 21:03:00 +0000

Interesting Article About Drug Reform In The UK

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 11:30:00 +0000

I found this article shared by a friend on facebook (Click the post title for the link) I found it very interesting as a lot of influential people are now in favour legalising cannabis in this country. It looks like America are on the way doing it on a state level over the next few years, and our government has always copied blindly whatever America does, it was because they made cannabis illegal we did in the first place. Wouldn't it be ironic if we made it legal again just after it happened in the USA?

Legalisation is obviously the only way forward, it takes the control away from criminal cartels and would generate billions in taxes. Would our government really rather rip off students and put millions out of work when they could just do this one simple thing?

It causes less harm to society than alcohol and we see people legally staggering around the streets under the influence of that all the time, not to mention the huge bill for the medical treatment they need as a result of accidents and health problems created by it.

And arguments about the drug causing psychosis are flawed too, alcohol causes more mental health problems than cannabis ever has, yet it is legal and freely available. People also don't seem to understand fully hoiw cannabis works, there are many active chemicals in cannabis but for some reason the only one most people have heard off is THC, though another important chemical is CBD (THC makes you high, CBD makes you stoned). They associate high levels of THC with good strong weed so many strains with a high THC content and low CBD content have been created. This results in people getting far too high with no CBD to calm them hence the psychosis, and this is much rarer than people would have you believe.

I know at least 5 young men who when sectioned claimed they had just smoked weed but had actually been up for days on amphetamines, ecstasy and other stimulants. The doctors don't drug test them they just take their word for it, but what teenager is going to admit to a doctor and their worried parents how many drugs they've really been taking? This is going on all over the country and people are just falling for it.

Happy Halloween!

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 16:08:00 +0000

Hope everyones having a good day, I've been busy but will start blogging again soon.

Job Search Rage

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 11:42:00 +0000

On the news today I saw they are again going to give everyone a medical who's on incapacity benefit, they say it every few years as if it's a new thing but they've always done it, it just seems they are getting a little harsher every time.
As I posted before I'm trying to find work after a gap in employment of 5 years, I've been on the sick as I suffer from Anxiety based depression. But the amount of money they expect us to live on and the constant threat they will cut it off is only making it worse so I've started looking for work before I'm forced.
The main problem I'm finding is a lack of jobs to apply for, every day I look on the DWP site to find there are hardly any new jobs posted, and what jobs there are usually state "experience essential" so there's no point applying.
I've applied for a number of jobs as a care assistant as these ads usually say "experience not essential as full training will be given". There is a large elderly population and quite a few homes for adults with learning difficulties on the Island so I thought this would be a good path to go down if I could start training.
I've got a letter saying I wasn't picked for interview from one I applied for and am still waiting to hear back from another but am not holding out much hope of getting it as it's been a while since I applied. It may say no experience necessary but if someone with experience has applied they will obviously get the job.
There are a couple of apprenticeships in care work I've seen but the wages are a joke, the minimum wage for apprentices now is £2.50 an hour. One vacancy pays £45 a week which would have to support me and my partner, though I would still get housing benefit, and another pays £95 a week but the amount of hours would make me not qualify for housing benefit so I couldn't afford to pay rent and council tax.
I also noticed an apprenticeship in engineering pays about £150 a week so the gap in pay between jobs aimed at men and women is still huge it seems. But even if I went for the apprenticeship in engineering I still wouldn't have enough money to live.
I did a search this morning for advice for the long term unemployed for finding work and found a couple of articles including one on the guardian website. Some of the comments left there angered me, I'm amazed people still think that the unemployed like it and are just work shy lay abouts who sponge off the hard working tax payers. News Flash people we all pay tax on everything we buy, and they take tax out of our benefits and have no obligation to tell us how much. We get barely enough money to live and they don't pay full rent so you have to find top up money or risk eviction. I have been studying for years and am now looking work and applying for jobs, what else can I do? I don't like living off the state but don't fancy living in a cardboard box either, those are the only two alternatives I have what would you choose?
I want a job I'm looking for a job and I would be bloody good at whatever job I could get, but there are no jobs.
In a few years we're going to be like America and the long term unemployed will live and die on the streets, the middle classes ignoring them and stepping over their bodies before someone comes to clear them up. God Save The Queen.

Happy Birthday John Lennon

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 19:37:00 +0000

John Lennon would have been 70 tomorrow (9th October) had he survived Mark Chapman's bullets, so Happy Birthday John.

It's a tragedy he was taken from us so soon, and would have been fascinating to hear what he thought about Global Warming, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and so many other important issues I'm sure he would have been very vocal about.

My second Open University course has started now so I've been busy, I will get back to blogging soon though I promise.

Proposed Housing Benefit Cuts Are Insane

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 16:01:00 +0000

I've tried to keep away from politics on this blog in the past few years, but recent events have shocked and appalled me so much I felt I had to post about it.

I've been on sickness benefit for a number of years and have been trying to get back into work in recent months, just being unemployed for so long makes it hard to get a job anyway, and when I started seriously looking for jobs I quickly realised there weren't a lot going. The local newspaper used to have pages of jobs, last week it had about a page and a half, and doing a job search on the job centres website yields few results. I also don't drive so any job I took would have to be in the same town or be well paid enough for me to afford to use public transport, this is making it even harder. With the wages what they are on the Island where I live I will probably end up having to work 16 hours and still claim housing and council tax benefit. But soon this won't be possible if the proposed cuts actually happen.

There is obviously going to be a catastrophe when it happens as even those who want jobs cannot get them as there are none. Just what the hell are we supposed to do when they cut our rent? They already don't pay all mine and arrears are building up as we speak, if the benefit falls any further I will get evicted it's as simple as that.

So now I'll just to have to pray I find a full time job that's well paid enough to cover my rent council tax and living expenses, fingers crossed...

And there's a group on facebook protesting about this that has a very small amount of members it's here if you'd like to join.

Baby Pigeons

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 11:59:00 +0000

As promised here is a picture of the baby pigeons in my window box, I had to use my mobile phone camera as my digital one has given up the ghost after a long service. Now lines appear all across any pictures taken in the sunlight for some reason.
I've got some nice photo's of sunsets on the beach I've just taken off my phone, I'll share some on here when I've sorted them out.

Will be back to posting here tomorrow.

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 00:27:00 +0000

Well technically later today I haven't been to bed yet.

I Still haven't smoked it's been about a month now so I deserve a pat on the back for that, I stopped taking the champix after the first week as it did make me depressed.

But I'm OK now as I stopped taking it and am back on my old antidepressant, I've had a lot of personal tragedy this year as well as starting to study for my OU degree, this is why I haven't been able to give the blog all the attention I would like to.

I haven't even posted pictures of my renaissance faire costume or any of my chilli's like I normally do every year, my followers must be wondering what's going on. I have the photo's I promised of the new baby pigeons that I will post tomorrow, and I'll get some photo's of the purple chilli's to go with them.

And to close, maybe what EastEnders should have thought about before bringing on the crack.

Should of had him start with a softer gateway drug at least shouldn't they? Still one of the funniest things I've seen all year, Phil on Crack.

4 Days Without Smoking

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 12:05:00 +0000

I've now gone 4 days without smoking and am starting to feel the benefits, didn't post on days 2 and 3 as there wasn't much to report really.

The past 2 nights I have dreamt that I smoked and been really annoyed about it which is strange, but during my waking hours I have managed to resist temptation.

Now I've just got to stick to my diet and try and lose some weight. I want to lose one or two stone as the doctors say my weight is OK for my height, but I have a "muffin top" in size 12 jeans now and there's no way I want to go out and buy new size 14 jeans!

Pigeons have laid eggs in my window box again, didn't realise they bred twice in a year. I think these two may be the two or at least one of the babies from the last eggs. I will definitely post pictures when the eggs hatch, there are two again.

"The Cove"

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 12:28:00 +0000

I watched the film "The Cove" last night on More 4 and was deeply moved and saddened by it, it's about a group of activists who are protesting the yearly capture and slaughter of Dolphins in Taiji Japan. It's heavily covered up and the cove they do it in is heavily blockaded by fences and guarded around the time of the event.

They eventually manage to film the slaughter using hidden camera's and what is shown is deeply disturbing. They trap the Dolphins and some are selected to be sold for hundreds of thousands of dollars and taken to sea parks, usually female bottle nose Dolphins like "flipper". Then the rest are herded round into the Cove and brutally killed with knives on the end of sticks and spears, the water turning red with their blood. It's awful to watch but if you love Dolphins and have ever wanted to swim with captive dolphins or considered going to see a Dolphin show you must watch it, as this is where those dolphins come from.

One thing I found most interesting about it is one of the campaigners is the guy who captured and trained the 4 Dolphins that played flipper. After the show was over they died in captivity, the one he liked the most "Cathy" apparently committed suicide in his arms (Dolphins can choose whether or not to come up to breathe and she apparently lost the will to live in a tank). He now feels responsible for the whole Dolphin industry as flipper is what made people all want to swim with them and see them doing shows etc, and has devoted his life to freeing as many captive Dolphins as he can and campaigning against Dolphin slaughter.

The thing I didn't like about the film was it focuses on this one town in Japan and doesn't discuss any of the other places where it goes on. In Denmark they have festival the whole towns take part in where they herd the dolphins and whales ashore kill them and then the children of the village run down amongst the bodies of all the slaughtered whales and dolphins. They aren't even trying to cover it up or acting like it's shameful thing, they do it openly and are refusing to stop despite years of campaigning by groups like greenpeace.

a quick search of Youtube this morning surprised me, as it turned up a lot of video's actually saying it was stupid or pointless film. I was even more surprised to find that not all these critical films were by Japenese people who were still in favour of Dolphin hunting too, This guy is Austarilian and I assume lives in Japan. He makes some good points about how the film wouldn't help change Japanese opinion on the subject. There are cultural differences in how we see dolphins, and asking these isolated remote towns (not all Japanese people endorse or even know about the whale and dolphin hunting that goes on) to stop is similar to how the Fox Hunters reacted when Fox Hunting was banned. But at least we did ban it, the Japanese government needs to recognise that some aspects of cultural heritage have to be left behind even if they meet with resistance as they are just plain barbaric.

I think the film was more intended to encourage new activists in the western world really rather than to influence the Japanese, as the old ones won't be around forever and once they are gone they need people to take over.

as I said above Dolphins are slaughtered far more openly in Denmark too which is closer to home for me, and people there should be more aware of a dolphins intelligence, and mercury content! I'm going to look into this and see what groups are campaigning to stop it, I'll update later.

Update: All I can find on the slaughter of Whales and dolphins in Denmark seems to date from about 2 years ago, though I remember Greenpeace campaigning about this back in the 80's, it's shocking that is still apparently going on. There's a very good blog post here on the subject. All the petitions seem to be closed and I'm not sure if anyone is currently campaigning to stop the activity, if anyone knows of any groups let me know.

And this is my first day without smoking, this evening will be the hardest part, then the next 2 days, hopefully I'll be able to hold out.

Only One More Day Of Smoking To Go.

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 20:00:00 +0000

I haven't done so well today I must have shared at least 5 cigarettes with my boyfriend, starting to hit me how hard it will be to stop completely with no nicotine at all. Just have to use all the techniques I've learned and try to get through the first 3 days, as after that all the nicotine in your body has gone and the cravings are all mental.
I'm going to miss smoking too, all the going outside with the other smokers and having an excuse to take breaks at work and all that. It becomes part of your identity too it's not just an addiction to the nicotine, though that is the hardest thing to break at first.

Giving Up Smoking

noreply@blogger.com (Nancyrowina) — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 14:36:00 +0000

I've decided to give up smoking, I've been smoking regularly since I was about 13 so this is a big step for me. I started taking the drug Champix on Wednesday and my quit date is supposed to be Wednesday next week. The drug is working so well however that I've been cutting down since I started taking it and haven't smoked at all so far today (it's about 3.30pm now). It's also been keeping me awake at night as the dose goes up which is annoying, I'm going to go to the doctors tomorrow and try and get some sleeping pills. With the Champix you also get a journal that you read every day and do an activity, it's been surprisingly helpful and has made me realise some things about why I smoke that hadn't occurred to me before.

I was socially awkward as a teenager and was bullied verbally, I never suffered any physical bullying or had my stuff taken out of malice or anything, people were to scared of me to do that it turns out. When I began to smoke it made me slightly more popular with the other smokers in my school and it gave me confidence.

Nowadays smoking has become very unfashionable however, we have to stand outside to smoke and can't stand at the bus stop while we smoke any more etc. This isn't what's made me want to give up smoking though, in fact it made it more of a sub culture for me, I've always liked being different even if it meant I wasn't always popular. There's something fun about going outside a pub to smoke, eases the boredom if you are with people you'd rather not be, it's one thing I'm going to miss.

It is in fact the cost of tobacco and it's impact on my health that is making me stop, tobacco costs a ridiculous amount for what it is now, probably because so many people have given up the government is losing the huge revenue it makes from it. And I'm sick of always having some degree of phlegm in my throat and on my vocal chords, I keep getting this thing where I go to speak and no sound comes out unless I clear my throat, very annoying.

I'll try and blog every day about how I'm doing since my blog has been very quiet recently, and hopefully I'll help inspire others to try and give up too. After all it will probably add years to our lives if we do.