My Friend Amy

In the Flesh

mypalamy@gmail.com — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 11:42:53 PDT

So this is a British show about zombies with...a slightly intriguing take. It aired on BBC America a few weekends ago and I watched it last week and had mixed feelings about it mostly ending in dislike. I haven't really read any other reviews about it or talked about it with anyone so it's possible I'm missing its strengths, but in the end I feel like The Point of this show overrode the actual story and also, I JUST LIKE MY ZOMBIES UNTHINKING OKAY?

I'd be lying, though, if I said there weren't times I found the concepts intriguing. In the Flesh imagines a time when the dead suddenly rise due to the virus and eat people to survive. But then they come up with a cure that allows them to return mostly to the people they were before...except, of course, their bodies are dead. And they are being reintegrated into society. To varying degrees of success, of course, people are unsure about having dead people that also fed on their loved ones back as their neighbors. They organized groups to hunt them and somehow there's also a mix of religious zeal in there (which...kind of makes sense since Christians, at least, believe in a resurrection, but this also was part of my problem with the show) so there's a lot of adjustment in thinking necessary.

The main character Kieren Walker (sigh) is one such "recovering" zombie. They don't call them zombies, of course, they call it PDS (partially deceased syndrome) survivors? Anyway, the thing about Kieren is that he actually chose to end his life and so the most hellish thing imaginable is that he'd come back as a zombie. And it was only this specific group of people that died in 2009 that it happened to, and also it doesn't spread via biting or anything.

So Kieren is back with his family and his sister was part of the sort of militia army that hunted zombies (and still does) and so there's tons of tension. Not to mention that also there's the residual pain from the fact the he tried to off himself. And there's the fact that he doesn't quite fit in as a normal person anyway he has to wear make-up and contacts to cover up his true zombie appearance. But things get really interesting when his boyfriend, believed to be dead, is found--also a PDS survivor and comes back. Because Rick's (his boyfriend) father is the head of the group that hunts down the rabid zombies, Rick sort of refuses to accept that he also has PDS. Which leads to conflict, etc.

So...that's sort of where my problems with the show came in. What is PDS stand for in this show? Is that this is just a another way to make commentary on how we "other" people and how it's hard for them and us? Like, in some ways I could see PDS as a stand-in for veterans returning from war (probably because partially PDS reminds me of PTSD), but the show actually has an example of a veteran returning from war. Or is it about sexual orientation? There are these moments where Rick expresses so much self-loathing that it really reminded me of someone fighting their sexual orientation...except, the main couple is also gay. Is it about race? When they visit a bar, they are forced to eat in a different section. Maybe it's not supposed to align with anything in the real world and is just supposed to be a broad sweeping look at how in society we form groups and standards of what's normal and exclude everyone else to painful degrees. Maybe it's about how we don't accept what/who people are if it's not what we want them to be and would rather kill them than live with the reality they are not what we expect. But...are people wrong not to want the zombies around? I mean they may have eaten the people they loved, without medication they are a sincere threat, etc. They are almost a crime against nature in a way because they are supposed to be dead. (Just looked up a review that said it's a metaphor for mental illness. oooooooh. That actually makes the most sense of anything, but I didn't arrive there on my own so)

In any case, In the Flesh does succeed in being different from other zombie shows and showing a realistic way zombies could be reintegrated since it's not a contagious virus. It's just that I found the show didn't quite gel for me. I didn't become attached to any of the characters on any deep level and can't in fact remember most of their names. Add to that the tired trope of the evil church that encourages only hate and I just didn't have a lot of patience for this show, I guess.

Also, I'm resentful. I'm tired of hearing that the only "legitimate" "artistic" zombie stories are ones like this where the zombies aren't actually gone.(I also read it's a thinking man's Walking Dead, etc. UGH) It does raise an interesting discussion, I guess, about if a person's body can still move around does that mean they are still in there? Do we have a hard time believing that a person is not their body? What makes this kind of zombie more acceptable? Also, what makes it so different from a vampire story?

Anyway, I am interested in what others of you who watched this thought, if I'm being too harsh, etc. And tomorrow or the next day I'm really hoping to finally write about The Walking Dead rewatch I did earlier this year. (and lol it will probably be super defensive, oh well)

Film: Warm Bodies

mypalamy@gmail.com — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 00:29:33 PDT

Hey you guys, World War Z comes out on Friday and even though I didn't love the book, I am excited for the movie!! So since I have some things I'd like to say about zombies I'm going to sort of make this an unofficial zombie week. I know a lot of people are over zombies, but to be honest I DON'T KNOW WHY. There are not multiple zombie TV shows and movies out right now. There are some books but nowhere near as many as there are for vampires. So I really don't understand the sentiment that there are too many zombies everywhere, I think it's mostly just people that don't like them to begin with saying that, okay?

I'd like to get the bad out of the way, so let's start with Warm Bodies. I didn't like the book and I also didn't like the movie.

I know it might seem crazy that I watched the movie anyway, but I thought it has potential to be kind of cute and funny like Zombieland. But...I guess what I realized is that there is a fundamental problem with the story for me which is that I don't like to think about zombies coming back from the dead or being saved or redeemed or humanized in any other way. That's just not the kind of zombie story I like and so that's why Warm Bodies was problematic for me and also part of why I greatly disliked the British show In the Flesh which I will be discussing later.

So, the basic premise behind Warm Bodies is that zombies are not actually really gone, they can still sort of think and stuff. But they do still eat people. And one day R (yes for Romeo) eats a brain and falls in love with a girl. And takes her back to zombie camp. And there's some funny and cute stuff there, but it all goes south when they take off because the actual REAL zombies want to eat Julie.

Sigh. Which...if you need actual real zombies vs. sort of but not quite actual zombies, I just...it doesn't work.

I guess the thing for me is that you can use zombies for all manner of social commentary or thematic purposes. And Warm Bodies uses them for the idea that love is the most powerful thing of all and if we could all just love each other and listen to each other and care then we'd come back to life and save ourselves. It was cheesy and saccharine in the book and equally so in the film.

So...it was a bust. I think I realized I'm never going to really like this kind of zombie story, I'd rather this kind of thing be a vampire story or something. Also, I think it's really irresponsible because when the zombie apocalypse happens no one will want to kill any zombies because WHAT IF THEY CAN BE SAVED? (there was some A+ dialogue though like zombies eat brains not broccoli!/sarcasm)

Tomorrow hopefully I will discuss why In the Flesh also did not work for me for similar failed thematic reasons.

What is your favorite zombie movie? Or do you hate zombies? Did you like this one? It seemed to do well in reviews.

Mostly TV and a few Links

mypalamy@gmail.com — Sun, 16 Jun 2013 10:24:52 PDT

This piece by Linda Holmes at NPR about the lack of films about women is so true and so depressing. I mean have you noticed that even romantic comedies now are largely told from a male perspective? Also Man of Steel made so much money this weekend, I...like we are going to be stuck with superhero movies forever you guys. Which isn't all bad, summer films are fine for that, but how about some female ones? I'm still forever bitter about people raging over the Buffy reboot.

Holmes links to this analysis of the criticism of Sofia Coppola's latest movie which is also really depressing. Sigh.

So. Summer TV.

I like to have shows that I watch week to week, even during the summer, because I find that when I'm marathoning shows I have a "need to finish" and it sort of takes over my life in a tiny way. (the show doesn't even have to be particularly addictive, I'm not sure how to explain it other than it's like a to do list, lol) It's easier to just have one ep of a show I can watch while I'm eating or something you know? But summer TV is notoriously bad. With a few exceptions like Breaking Bad and while I like Breaking Bad, it's not a show I love on a deep level.

Anyway! All that to say I've been giving almost everything a whirl. Mostly ABC Family shows. Also, Switched at Birth came back and I quite liked the episode so.

ABC Family really does deserve credit for representation. Like, it's something they actively seek to do--it doesn't happen by accident. Switched at Birth didn't originally have one of the girls being deaf until the network suggested they make one of the girls special needs and can you even imagine the show without that now?

The Fosters, their new show about an interracial lesbian couple raising a mix of kids...biological/adopted/ and now foster kids is maybe one of the most successful shows I've seen in reflecting the way the world looks. I mean there isn't just token casting in this, the cast is truly diverse and not just the leads but all the way down to the supporting actors and extras. Seeing as it's set in Southern California, this is wonderful. Anyway, apart from that, the show itself is okay. It's not life changing, but it's nice enough, I guess? I was actually kind of bored during the first episode, but the second episode picked up a bit. It's a family drama so you have a mix of issues--the three parents thing for the biological son, the adopted teen daughter getting mixed up in some bad business in order to meet her biological mom, sibling issues. The show is missing some spark for me I guess, plus it has that unfortunate ABC Family feel, but even so I'll probably keep watching for a bit.

Then there's Twisted, the show about a kid who murdered a family member at a young age, comes back to town, and someone else ends up dead. This also kind of bored me, sigh. I think the biggest problem is that they want to keep us guessing about whether or not he did the most recent murder? And so they're withholding his point of view which makes it hard to care. Also, the two girls who were his best friends when they were kids were all traumatized about him coming back and then by the end of the episode that was like no big deal. So...again I'll probably give it a few more episodes and hope it picks up, but I'm not keeping my fingers crossed. Same unfortunate ABC Family effect here, too.

Switched at Birth, though, I quite liked. I think I like Switched at Birth best when it's about the family issues because let's face it, they are all messed up. But you can have deeply loving and complicated relationships and when SAB taps into that, it's great! So, I think Daphne growing closer to the Kennishes while Regina was in rehab makes sense both from a practical point of view as well as an emotional one. When she brought up the switch again and Regina was like, "what we're back to that"...well it's always going to come back to that. I'm glad it doesn't just get dropped and easily forgiven because it's the kind of thing that happens in relationships that affects everything that comes after. Daphne was right that the Kennishes were there for her...though there was their own selfish motivation involved. Regina isn't wrong to feel threatened by them and it has always made sense to me why she is. I think her protestations over the various parenting decisions (Daphne's credit card, Bay's job, even Nikki and the rehearsal dinner) are all her way of asserting her own opinion and almost...selfhood into a situation where she could easily be completely run over or forgotten. The Kennishes accepted Daphne into their lives with ease, it would be easy for her to feel extraneous. But I was super glad about the conversation she had with Bay at the end because I've always felt that was an imbalance in the show and that there was a distinct lack of Regina caring about Bay the way Kathryn cares about Daphne. So...I hope this is actually the beginning of a change and not just a one off that gets forgotten. So, anyway! I thought the show was interesting.

I also am watching The Killing, but I haven't watched last week's episode yet! Same with HGTV Design Star which has been renamed HGTV Star, lol.

Also, PSA, Bath and Body Works has their semi-annual sale going on right now which means it's a good time to stock up on country apple frangrances. ;)

The Dark by Lemony Snicket and Illustrated by Jon Klassen

mypalamy@gmail.com — Sat, 15 Jun 2013 14:21:24 PDT

I love children's books! Part of the reason I love children's books is because they often boil down this huge life stuff we're still facing as adults into easy to understand terms and are very gentle about it. I don't mean that they dumb stuff down, I mean that they are age appropriate and loving and get to the essence of things. I feel like children's books are often written with so much love and I don't know, I just like them!

So it's no surprise that I loved The Dark by Lemony Snicket and illustrated by Jon Klassen.

Laszlo is afraid of the dark, but the dark is everywhere. It's always lurking in places and while most of the time he can ignore it, he knows it's there. Then one night the nightlight goes out in his room and the dark comes to visit him.

Maybe the book over explains its point on one page, but the story beautifully illustrates that while there is darkness in life, we can use it to to better understand and find the light. And it's also a story about how Laszlo faces his fear and no longer has to be afraid. It's pretty great, to be honest!

Plus the language is very pretty and the illustrations nicely evoke that feeling of being in a big kinda creepy house.

So my verdict is that this book is a winner and also that I still love children's books even though I'm practically an old lady now.

Many thanks to Little, Brown for sending me a copy of this book.

Just Some Random Chatting

mypalamy@gmail.com — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 10:46:53 PDT

*I read Gillian Flynn's Sharp Objects last weekend so now I've read all of her books and I'm sort of desperate to find some really good writing on them? Like not as individual novels but her work as a whole. She's a contemporary author that I think has really carved out a niche that is her own and that there's a lot of super interesting stuff going on in her work that just demands to be written about. But I feel like it's actually kind of hard to find writing like that about books! Anyway, if you know of some let me know. Also, Lady Business should really consider a discussion on her books because I'd be super curious to know what they think.

*I watched Rosemary's Baby for the first time a couple of weeks ago and I liked it. It's really kind of well done from the perspective of building tension and this sense that there's a conspiracy against Rosemary but she can't get away from it! The ending was so creepy and perfect. I watched it because I saw someone (can't remember who) associated with Hannibal say that what was going on with Will was sort of borrowed from the idea in Rosemary's Baby that the doctors are conspiring against you. Also, it made me sad about how 666 Park Avenue flopped because the idea of an old apartment building with lots of mystery in NYC is still really appealing as a show to me! Worst husband EVER alert in this movie. (seriously he helps Satan rape his wife and impregnate her, and then when she expresses concern over what's happening, he makes her feel delusional and like she's wrong and yells at her and stuff.)

*I'm planning to watch Under the Dome and I'm super excited for it! It looks just like my kind of show. I didn't join in the readalong, but hopefully some of those people are also going to watch and blog about it???

*Which leads me to reminding you that The Bridge starts July 10th. I will be reminding you every week.

*I thought Before Midnight was never coming near me, but it is! Now I want to make time to see it this weekend.

*Jodie wrote 6,000 words on the first four episodes of Hannibal. Jodie is my hero. Also, I had somehow missed that they said Will Graham is "on the spectrum" (I win most attentive viewer awards obvs) so now I also want to read some good writing about various police detectives portrayed as on the spectrum. Will, Saga Noren, etc. I'm sure there are others.

*I feel like there are a lot of summer movies I want to see. I kind of want to see Man of Steel, I definitely want to see World War Z, I still sort of want to see Now You See Me, etc. That movie by the District 9 guy...what are you guys looking forward to? What do you want to see in the theater?

Happy Weekend, everyone!

13 Books to Consider Getting Dad for Father's Day

mypalamy@gmail.com — Thu, 13 Jun 2013 00:00:05 PDT

So...I haven't read all of the books on this list, but I wanted to put together a suggestion list anyway. My inbox has been slammed with recs for all sorts of things for Father's Day. Why not books? (yes it has been slammed with book recs, too)

Of course not all fathers are readers and that's fine, but audio books are always an option as are coffee table books etc. Anyway, I present to you a few ideas in case you are running low on them. Oh also, feel free to add you own suggestions!

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

Ha ha you knew this was going to be on here right? Okay but hear me out. First of all, when I told my dad I was going to read this book this year, he decided to read it, too. (on audio) And he beat me! He's already finished! Also, this is a classic the word war is in the title, and it's huge. So lotsss of reading material. Excellent pick, imo. This is a pick for any father, except maybe the kind that is very vocal about not liking to read!

The Absent One by Jussi-Adler Olsen

This can be filed under books I haven't read, but is a pick for fathers who love mystery. Also, it's set in Denmark and that should be enough. Seriously, though, Nordic Noir is all the rage and there's no reason not to get your father into another Scandinavian mystery series, particularly if he enjoyed The Millenium Trilogy.

Life After Death by Damien Echols.

This is for the memoir loving father. Here's the synopsis: In this New York Times bestselling memoir, Damien Echols details the two decades he spent on death row for a crime he was falsely convicted for. In 1993, Damien and two friends, Jason Baldwin and Jessie Misskelley Jr.—who have come to be known as the West Memphis Three—were arrested for the murders of three eight-year-old boys in Arkansas. The trial, marked by false testimony and tampered evidence, found the teenager guilty. Baldwin and Misskelley were sentenced to life, while Damien, the perceived “ringleader” was sentenced to death. Over the years, the WM3 gained national recognition as a symbol of wrongful conviction and imprisonment through documentaries, countless supporters and notable celebrities. In August 2011, the three men were released. Life After Death is Damien’s full story—describing, in full detail, the horrors of prison and the patience, spirituality and perseverance that kept him alive.

So some men really like reading about prison life, etc. Plus there's justice! And just a really intriguing story there.

1984 by George Orwell.

Hahaha, you knew this was coming right? I mean in light of recent national events it seems like the perfect time for such a book. I actually still haven't read this, but I really need to! Hopefully this year. I read something on Tumblr about how sales for this book are up. Seriously, though, it might give your father a chuckle if nothing else. Synopsis: Written in 1948, 1984 was George Orwell's chilling prophecy about the future. And while the year 1984 has come and gone, Orwell's narrative is timelier than ever. 1984 presents a startling and haunting vision of the world, so powerful that it is completely convincing from start to finish. No one can deny the power of this novel, its hold on the imaginations of multiple generations of readers, or the resiliency of its admonitions. A legacy that seems only to grow with the passage of time. hahaha, sorry.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

If 1984 isn't to your dad's liking, or he's already read it, there's always our contemporary dystopian hit, The Hunger Games. With the Catching Fire movie coming out in the fall, why not get your dad started on the superior books?

And don't even try to tell me these are books for me because that's hogwash.

A Chance to Win: Boyhood, Baseball, and the Struggle for Redemption in the Inner City by Jonathan Schuppe

I haven't read this, but it's definitely on my "hope to read soon" pile. Maybe your father loves baseball? (my father hates it as it turns out, but my grandfather loved it!) Baseball fans will likely enjoy this kind of story...I don't know I feel like we are different from other kinds of sports fans and that's evidenced by the sheer amount of baseball literature in existence. Plus there's a lot of mythology and history around the sport, etc. Synopsis: A Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist follows an embattled Little League team in inner-city Newark, revealing the complex realities of life in one of America’s most dangerous cities

When Rodney Mason, an ex-con drug dealer from Newark’s rough South Ward, was shot and paralyzed, he vowed to turn his life around. A former high-school pitching ace with a 93 mph fastball, Mason decided to form a Little League team to help boys avoid the street life that had claimed his youth and mobility. Predictably, the players struggle—they endure poverty, unstable family lives with few positive male role models, failing schools, and dangerous neighborhoods—but through the fists and tears, lopsided losses and rare victories, this bunch of misfits becomes a team, and in doing so gives the community something to root for. With in-depth reporting, fascinating characters, and vivid prose, Jonathan Schuppe’s book is both a penetrating, true-to-life portrait of what’s at stake for kids growing up poor in America’s inner cities and a portrait of Newark itself, a struggling city that has recently known great hope as well as failure.

John Adams by David McCullough

Ha, just imagine this as any history book ever. I've never read it (apparently I don't read books I think of as being for dads, hmmm) but my dad did! And I watched the mini-series which I really liked. American history is fun, right? Plus everyone can use a refresher now and then.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller

I loooove this book. Also, this is for the spiritual/Christian father. This is one of the most inspirational books I have ever read. It's about writing a better story with your life. It's easy to read and engaging and is the kind of book that just really makes you think it's possible to live a better life. Also, it is not an ad for the movie Blue Like Jazz! (when I talked to my sister about this book she said someone described it like that) though it IS probably part of the reason the Kickstarter project was successful.

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Why not give your father this page turner about a messed up married couple? This page turner is sure to please, plus there's a bit of a Father's Day surprise in it. I mean maybe one of the characters would be a really bad dad, but who cares? Dads come in all kinds. Anyway if your dad missed this one, maybe now is the time to read it!

The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling

Sure people were pretty split on this book, but there's a chance you dad might find it interesting. If for no other reason than to be part of the culture conversation! While also not a feel good book, it does have something interesting to say/explore!

The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell

Or maybe your dad likes Sci-Fi? In which case I recommend my own personal favorite The Sparrow. Also not a happy book, but a VERY GOOD BOOK. Jesuits in space, etc. It's also a very gripping book when I read it, I remember how much I didn't want to be torn away from it!

Strong Poison by Dorothy Sayers

But...maybe your dad would like a little less heavy and prefer a nice light mystery instead? In that case Strong Poison is perfect! It's a fun mystery with a surprise ending and doesn't include the world's darkest twistiest people.

Lord Peter Wimsey is a fun detective and the humor is so enjoyable.

Epic Fail: Bad Art, Viral Fame, and the History of the Worst Thing Ever by Mark O'Connell

Or you could get your dad this fun, short e-book, about the appeal of the epic fail that explores what in the world is so wrong with us that we enjoy these things. I really enjoyed this one, but have yet to review it!

So...those are my suggestions! I feel like they might be not the typical list, but I know it doesn't matter you all stopped after suggestion number 1 and will be getting War and Peace for your father this year.

For anyone spending Father's Day fatherless or in a bad relationship with their father--all my love.

Leave me your suggestions in comments!

Every Minute

mypalamy@gmail.com — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 17:41:03 PDT

Even though I announced it here in March, I finally put up a post at the BBAW site about ending BBAW (Book Blogger Appreciation Week).

It's so weird because even though I really made this decision a long time ago, and I KNOW it's the right decision, both times I've written these posts I've felt so sad and nostalgic.

I think part of it has to do with how much blogging has changed. When Ana and I hosted a Halloween swap this past fall, we were both surprised by the relatively small turnout. And that's a consistent pattern for any community type event or meme I've tried to host in the past year. It's just not the same place or my place in it has changed.

When trying to figure out if Film Club was still something we could do, Sheila mentioned that it comes down to FOMO in a lot of ways. That's Fear of Missing Out for those who don't know. She says she sees it online and also in real life. People are just very very hesitant to commit to anything nowadays because they don't want to end up missing out on a better offer later.

This makes me so sad. And also it's kind of insulting to anyone who plans things in advance out of consideration!

It also made me think of one of my favorite Sara Groves songs and since someone recently said they wished I'd talk more about music, I decided to write about this song. (this person will probably be sorry)

I don't listen to much new music at all, unfortunately, I listen to like the same stuff over and over. When I was writing about The Americans, I wanted to use some of Sara Groves lyrics and that like opened a floodgate to listening to her stuff all over again like it was brand new--I'm not even kidding! (it's not. Brand new. And it's certainly not brand new to me!) But there are few lyricists who I really admire and feel like...I don't know see the world as I do and are able to capture it in words that are both revelatory and familiar. Words that feel like they came from deep inside of me even though I didn't write them.

This song, "Every Minute", is from Sara Groves 2002 album All Right Here. Hahaha yes it is that old. Still one of my favorite songs.

It's a song about spending time with someone, really spending time with them. It's a song that both mourns the loss of the way relationships used to be and talks about the dangers in really letting yourself be with someone.

When I was junior high/early high school I did this thing called Bible Quizzing. Yeah no sports for me, just Bible quizzing! Which was basically a (surprisingly really competitive) program where we learned a book of the Bible and then once a month we'd drive to a church in our district and have a meet. The questions were super specific and by the time the finals rolled around, you'd know from one or two words out of the quiz master's mouth what question they were going to ask. I only went all in one year, and was so crushed in the finals (which were basically what determined who went on to the nationwide competition) that I can still feel the pain of that defeat in my heart!

Anyway, the group from my church was pretty close and we had a Christmas party/slumber party at our coach's house. We went Christmas caroling in her neighborhood and came to this elderly ladies house. She was delighted to have us and told us it meant so much to her, she'd been so lonely and worried about Christmas this year. She couldn't even get her decorations down, she explained, they were up in the attic and she couldn't manage it. She was kind to us and I think we all really felt for her. We went home, baked some cookies for her, and the next day went back to offer to help her decorate her home for Christmas.

When we returned, though, she seemed quite different. She thanked us for the cookies, but insisted everything was fine, and she was fine. The return visit was short, and we left confused. I was still young and I hadn't learned this really important thing about life yet, that my quiz coach offered up. "Sometimes," she explained. "When people allow themselves to be really vulnerable, they feel embarrassed about it afterwards. She was protecting herself."

It's so hard to really get to know one another in our time. We put up so many walls and by the time we reach adulthood we've learned to play games in our relationships with others. At some point in our lives, we're rejected and that rejection is going to be painful enough to alter the way we interact with people in the future. (being stingy with our love as Ana recently put it) It's maybe even part of the reason that we get busy and worry about the latest and greatest thing we might be missing out on..filling our lives with activities rather than each other. And also....well we're human and it's our natural tendency to get what we can out of things, including people. I mean I know this all works together.

But anyway, that's what I love about this song.

"At the risk of wearing out my welcome," Sara Groves sings, "At the risk of self-discovery."

I love these lyrics because I think they capture my feelings exactly. I do worry, of course, that people will eventually tire of me, that I'll end up being too demanding, too needy, too much. Too much me, lol. But also, the very best friends and relationships are the ones where I feel like I discover myself more and more, who I really am. And it's not always pretty. There's a lot of ugliness in me, I realize it all the time. But the right relationships are the ones where you don't feel any less loved once you realize this. When someone sees this in you, and loves you anyway. (and yes they are RARE)

This song specifically reminds me of my old church. We had meetings on Friday nights at our leader's apartment and I'd often stay for hours afterwards sometimes until 2 or 3 am. And we talked about everything, mundane and deep and I felt so loved and accepted. (and I loved so much in return)

"I couldn't think of one thing I'd rather waste my time on than sitting here with you."

Aw I love this because it speaks to being fully present with the people we are with and not worrying about missing out on other things.

But my favorite part is of course the bridge which I have up there in that rudimentary graphic. Because YES. The longer you live and move around and the more people you know, the more people you love--your life becomes fragmented. Parts of you are everywhere and there's just this longing to connect those pieces..and to connect all the wonderful people you know and love together. I hate camping, lol, but nothing in the world sounds better to me than having all the people I have ever deeply loved together and telling stories and loving each other well. I think this is what heaven is like...a place where the fragmented pieces get sewn together into something whole.

Anyway, this is one of my favorite songs in the world and just writing this has made me really teary. It's a song about the whole acceptance and joy of another person's company..."always know that you're invited my friend."

Anyway, I've embedded the video for anyone who wants to give it a listen...the style might not be to your taste, tbh, but ugh I love her so much.

(Bookish note!I sort of associate this song with Life As We Knew It. The reason is that I was listening to it a lot at the time (not surprising--there's a reason I DO NOT connect my spotify account!) There's this part where Miranda says she never knew she could love so deeply, and the forced "time together" in that book makes me think of this song!)

In a Better World (Hævnen)

mypalamy@gmail.com — Sat, 08 Jun 2013 00:00:07 PDT

We were originally going to watch this for Film Club, and after I watched it, I sort of wished that we had still Film Club. Then I remembered I'd probably be discussing it alone anyway! But...maybe some of you have seen this since it did win an Oscar for foreign language film.

I've seen a handful of Susanne Bier's movies now and something that sort of strikes me about them is that despite the almost overly dramatic premises of the films, they are infused with such such real human feelings that it's forgivable. A credit, I think, to both the actors and the scripts. This is, I guess, a matter of personal preference? Like I feel there is so much weight and reality to the characters that I can feel brimming beneath the surface, the films really capture small moments of human interaction and expression in a way that make them feel so real. I don't find it to be cheap sentimental emotion at all.

This is true for In a Better World, as well, a film that on its surface is about bullying, but at its heart is about the violence we all have inside of us and control. Who has it, who wants it, how to use it when its yours, what kind of control/power each individual is most interested in.

Christian's story opens in London where he is reading a poem in memoriam for his mother. We will learn she passed away from cancer and this has torn a hole open inside Christian's heart. Christian's father brings him to Denmark to live with his grandmother. When they first arrive she tells him he can pick any room he wants. Christian chooses a small cluttered unadorned room. His father is surprised and says, "well you don't have to make up your mind now."

"Is it my choice or not?" Christian shoots back. This is our first hint into Christian's mind and the battle for control he is facing. His mother has died leaving him in such a state of utter powerlessness that he is grasping for areas of his life he can control.

When Christian starts school, he notices a boy, Elias, is being bullied. He is seated next to Elias in class and they make quick friends. After school, Elias finds the air has been let out of his tires again. Christian suggests he steal the valves from another bike and let a different boy drag his bike home. As they set about doing this, the bullies show up and Christian tries to stand up for Elias but is hit with a ball/effectively punching him in the nose.

Christian takes action the next day. When he sees Sofas, the main bully, go after Elias again, he follows him and beats him with a bicycle pump and threatens him with a knife. Elias and Christian hide the knife and lie to the authorities about its existence. This deepens their friendship.

When Christian's father questions him about it, Christian explains he had to hit hard first. "Now no one will touch me. You don't know shit, it's like this at every school." And the thing is...while his father argues the fighting will just continue, Christian isn't wrong. Sofus makes friendly overtures to him after that. But even more interestingly is how Christian sees this as something within his control. He loathes the idea of being left vulnerable, he is already so vulnerable to natural life occurrences outside of his control, like his mother dying. As the movie progresses, we come to understand that Christian sees her succumbing to death as a sign of her weakness. He blames his father for hoping she'd die. "I don't have time for people who give up."

But Christian's story isn't the only one. Elias's father is in Africa working as a doctor when he's not home. There's a lot of violence going on in the region, specifically attacks against women. He battles to save their lives.

Christian and Elias become closer and one day when out with Elias's dad, Elias's younger brother gets hit on the playground. Elias's dad rushes over to stop him which in turn leads to the other boy's father coming over and hitting him. (and it's Martin from Broen sob, he's a total jerk in this. Okay I guess he's kind of a jerk in Broen, too, but...) Anyway, this is a huge event. Christian questions why Elias's dad didn't do anything. "I was the strong one," he responds

But the event clearly rattles him, as the film shows him swimming off his aggression later. He even brings the boys over to the workplace of the bully for another encounter in which Lars, the adult bully, slaps him again. Anton (Elias's dad) tells the boy he won this encounter. Christian replies, "I don't think he thinks so."

Okay I didn't mean for this to be a straight up recap of the film, but it's hard to express this constant exploration of violence and aggression and self-control without doing so. I'll try to keep the rest short!

One of the things I really admired is that EVERY character succumbs to their inner violence at some point in the film. Even Elias's mother chokes and shakes Christian after he endangers Elias's life, nailing what she's really railing against. The use of violence and force to control. Anton first agrees to treat a criminal in Africa, but when he makes lewd remarks about a young female victim, Anton lets the crowds beat him to a violent death. But notably, it's this very event that creates within Anton a greater capacity for empathy to understand why Christian builds a bomb to destroy Lars's van. It's the sense of being so powerless over grief, over loss, over everything in life really.

I was really disappointed to read the reviews largely call this movie too sentimental or offering too pat of an answer when I couldn't disagree more. While I do feel the story comes to a conclusion in the film, the questions remain. I think it offers an understandable viewpoint on what drives us to be violent and cruel, and I think it also offers the only real answer to addressing it which is empathy. Of course that doesn't mean it will work every time, but each person must come to a decision on their own about whether self-control or trying to control others is the way they want to go. We are all powerless against loss, death, circumstance in life. We can't change certain things that happen to us or the way people feel about us, all we can do is control our own behavior.

It may sound odd, but I think watching this movie and writing about it just now helped me realize this about myself with some of the anger I've been dealing with lately. (which for me is odd because I rarely get angry and yet lately I've been getting angry so much--also to each their own, but I don't LIKE to feel angry and it makes me feel just as powerless as sadness so I'd really rather figure out ways to work through it rather then embrace it) No one is bullying me or anything, but I guess I do feel like there are these things outside of my control and I'm having a hard time with it.

Anyway, great film, in my opinion! Also, it's really pretty, gorgeous shots of Denmark. And there is other stuff I didn't touch on. Just..I don't know, worth your time! If I felt like we could find them easily, I'd suggest a Susanne Bier's film club theme, but alas, I think a lot of these movies would be hard to find. (not this one, though)

Strong Poison by Dorothy Sayers

mypalamy@gmail.com — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 23:03:55 PDT

So! Hannah challenged me to read this book ten years or so ago (every time we discuss this we make it seem much longer ago than it actually was :) and Ana loves the characters in this book as do many others and Dorothy Sayers was the closest thing there was to a female member of the Inklings (she was not one) so these are all reasons I've wanted to read this for awhile. I don't really have an excuse for why it took me so long, except the usual truth of my reading restlessness and being a mood reader, etc.

And when I first started it, I was unsure. Because the very beginning of this book is basically a judge outlining a case, I mean I like a bit more action than that. But I read on and was quickly charmed by the delightful humor. And I wanted to know how they were going to Harriet Vane free, etc.

Oh I should back up a bit, basically Harriet Vane is on trial for poisoning her ex-lover. There are some inconvenient details surrounding a murder a mystery she's planning to write and how he died and so! Lord Peter doesn't think she's guilty, though, and he's also quite smitten so he determines to prove her innocence.

Speaking of which, I was surprised that he basically marches into the jail and proposes? Like I wasn't expecting this to be a love at first sight sort of book AT ALL. Of course, Harriet has her reservations.

Anyway, my very favorite part of the book is the scene depicted on the cover I had. Miss Climpson gets assigned to do her own fair share of investigation and has to pretend to be a medium in order to get the information she needs. It is genius comedy let me tell you! A completely delightful and laugh out loud sequence and Miss Climpson's voice is so amusing. I loved it. (Pongo! ♥)

So...hmm. A couple of things:
*I liked that Lord Peter actually did very little actual investigating. The women did all his leg work for him, lol. And it was fun! I felt the tension and suspense in their scenes and was worried they'd get caught etc.
*I feel like everyone always raves about Harriet Vane but she was barely in this book and I really have no thoughts on her. I feel like she's the kind of character I could really like, but it's far too early to make any sorts of judgments. I totally get why she was annoyed with Boyes for testing her, though!
*Ana asked how contemporary I found the book...well, I'm not sure what that question means? Like on the one hand I had no problems reading it, I didn't feel distanced or anything from it because of the time period. I guess, in fact, I could have read it believing it to be historical fiction if I didn't know the difference. So..does that help? One thing I think about it, though, is that it kind of reminds me of what we call cozy mysteries today. Something about both the humor and the lack of gore. Thankfully, though, no puns on food words!
*The way Peter had to talk Parker into proposing to his sister reminded me of Pierre in War & Peace, IDK!
*I looked up some stuff about the book to help my memory (it's terrible) and it's interesting that the stuff about Harriet and Philip was actually sort of based on Dorothy Sayers life. Now I want to learn more about her.
*I read this with a friend and I think we had a question about how it seemed Boyes had been poisoned over a period of time, but Wimsey really only solved the final poisoning. So...was he not being poisoned all along? And lol that I can't even remember if that was the question we had exactly, but I figured you guys could help me out!

Overall, I really liked it and I look forward to reading more!

A Place at the Table by Susan Rebecca White

mypalamy@gmail.com — Tue, 04 Jun 2013 00:00:09 PDT

I feel like my reading lately has been scratching at my raw and vulnerable places and it's not even like I'm asking for it or seeking out books to do this, it's just happening. I found A Place at the Table to be a deeply touching book about people displaced from their families that work to come together and make a new family for themselves. But it isn't exactly like most of the found family stories I love, because I think it acknowledges that even though you can indeed find people to love you like family, the loss/rejection of family is a wound that never really goes away.

This book is mostly about Bobby, a young man who is gay and growing up as a pastor's son in a southern evangelical family in Georgia. His story is really well written and believable, in my opinion, from the perspective of loss of faith. This was probably my favorite thing about the book, actually. Bobby was really into God and loved him and his faith, but he's also gay and when his family realizes it they reject him. (except for his awesome grandma) And as his story progresses through the years, he slowly loses that faith but not the longing for it or even the shame associated with it and that feels very real and touching to me.

But there's also Alice, and African American chef, and Amelia, a woman in a thankless abusive relationship. And the stories of these three eventually weave together in a very satisfying way. There's a little bit of a mystery at the heart of the book that you might figure out quickly, but it doesn't matter since waiting for the characters to figure it out is the really important part.

This book was my June pick for Bloggers Recommend because it is truly beautiful, but also very absorbing, I read it quickly, didn't want to put it down, etc. I think if you like Southern fiction or lots of food in your fiction, or stories of New York, etc. you'll enjoy this one!

"What was surprising to me was how much I wanted to be offered it. I grew up in the Church. Baptist, not Catholic, but still. And sure, looking back I can see how narrow that world was, but...I don't know. I loved the way I felt about God when I was a child. The universe was good, and God loved me and I belonged. Like how you speak of the cafe back in the heyday, how it was this special place where life was elevated somehow. That was how church was for me, and I keep trying to find that place again, and I just--I keep getting smacked down. I'm like Charlie Brown trying to kick the football, and Lucy keeps snatching it away."

My favorite passage, because in a lot of ways I relate. I am still a person of faith, but I've become older and more jaded and I miss feeling that way about God and having a church that feels like love and family. Oh life.

Anyway, this is a good one!

*Please note I received a review copy of this book from the publisher (Touchstone)!

Giveaway! Copperhead Movie Pack

mypalamy@gmail.com — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 21:28:11 PDT

Did you know that this year marks the 150 year anniversary of the Civil War & The Battle of Gettysburg?

We were all taught about the Civil War in school, but how much do we really know about the challenging stories of the brave families during the era? Mothers, fathers, and children all experienced intense hardship as family members left to fight in combat. 150 years later the timeless stories of families affected by war still remain especially pertinent.

Commemorate the 150 year anniversary & keep your kids learning during the summer by catching Copperhead, a Civil War movie the whole family can watch together and talk about!

About Copperhead: From director Ron Maxwell, (Gettysburg, Gods and Generals) Copperhead is unlike any other Civil War movie. Far from the Virginia battlefield, it’s the exciting story of Abner Beech (Billy Campbell), a peace-loving but stubborn dairy farmer in upstate New York. He detests slavery, but opposes the war for the sake of the “union.” Abner is neither a Yankee nor a Rebel. He is a Copperhead. This is an extraordinary story of family and community. Learn more: http://www.copperheadthemovie.com

Giveaway!
Win an official Copperhead movie pack. US residents only.

- Official Copperhead Movie Poster hand signed by Director/Producer Ron Maxwell (Gettysburg, Gods and Generals) (27 X 40)
- The Copperhead Official Companion Book [Author: Harold Frederic]
- Movie Theater Cash [Valid for 1 Movie Admission]

To enter just test your civil war knowledge below and comment with your results. Please be sure you leave a valid email address in the comment form (not the comment itself) so that I can contact you when you win! Winner will be notified June 8.

War and Peace Check-In: May

mypalamy@gmail.com — Fri, 31 May 2013 00:00:00 PDT

You guysssss

There was no war in this section! But lots of romance. Sort of. I think this book is kind of weird for me in that I feel very far removed from everything going on and I have no particular feelings about these couples and if they end up together or not and I feel so sorry for all the girls because of how completely out of their own control their lives are.

Like...Prince Andrei being all, "I'm giving you a year to decide if you really want to marry me because you are far too young to actually just know your own mind and heart! and btw, THIS IS A BIG SECRET" Meanwhile, he first notices Natasha for the simple reason that she doesn't care that he exists and is happy and carefree. LOL. Also, eye roll inducing. Plus, I was confused about when he went to see her and his feelings supposedly changed from being bright and poetic to duty bound or something. Was I just reading it wrong? I felt so completely sorry for her when she was lamenting how he seemed to have this whole other life apart from her while she was wasting away waiting for him. The story of being female, I tell you! Plus, I thought the parts where she imagined someone talking about her, like, "Natasha is so bright," etc. to be telling of the performance culture..it isn't so much who you are but how you appear to others.

Then there's poor Sonya who seems completely lovely and is unfortunate to be in love with Rostov. Yet she's penniless and because apparently the Rostovs also have not done a very good job with their money, they don't want her to marry their son. So she loses her good relationship with them, but if she doesn't marry him, she loses the man she loves. :( Plus, she's been sitting around waiting for him, ugh. It's just unfair how little they think of her circumstances.

And poor Princess Mayra tries to derive comfort from religion, but can't because while faith is a guide and an aid, it can't actually replace necessary human relationships. Aw, but I feel for her trying to do what she perceives as right which is very centered around a notion of self-sacrifice, which was also appealing to Sonya, sigh and sad.

Plus, I was kind of turned off by the men being all, "ugly women are more faithful" and the idea that Helene had tricked everyone into thinking she was clever when she wasn't actually, etc. Brutal couple of sections for the women!

Rostov did provide some comic relief, what the the obligated idleness of being in the military and going around bossing people around when he has no idea what's going on.

The hunting section lost me a little bit, but I was glad it wasn't too long. I guess we needed an injection of violence in our peaceful times.

So overall the sections were really easy to read for me but I'm not sure I actually enjoyed them. You?

Also, I know it's getting to be a slog this time of year to continue on with such a big book and some people are dropping out :( What can I do to encourage you and make it more fun? I was thinking maybe we could have a Russian recipe exchange or something next month. Let me know what you think!

The Original 1982 by Lori Carson + Giveaway

mypalamy@gmail.com — Thu, 30 May 2013 23:48:28 PDT

This book, man.

If you're already feeling regret over some of your life choices this might be a tough read. In The Original 1982, Lori Carson's Lisa Nelson imagines what her life would have been like if she hadn't had an abortion. She imagines how she would have lived differently and who the child would have grown up to be. This might sound like some sort of anti-abortion book, but it's not, not really. Nor is it Pro-Choice. It's a book about a woman regretting a decision or at least wondering what could have been. I think, you know, this is something we all do, what about that path not traveled? And the circumstances surrounding her abortion kind of show just complicated these things can be.

Perhaps this doesn't sound terribly revolutionary, but she since she writes from the perspectives of young artists, particularly musicians living in New York City, it has a unique and interesting setting. And I found this book oddly compelling and I totally cried at the end, TEARS.

I think it hit a few soft/tender spots for me, though, anyway. I am getting older and I have my share of regrets and particular junctures that I think, "if only I'd chosen this path". Also, Lisa loves a man, the father her imagined child, who never loves her back properly. And it's a very obsessive love where she can't exactly make the best choices because she's ruled by this compulsion. And it's not...I don't know how to say this, it just is. And it's sad, you know, that for some people there is *that* person who rips you apart and consumes you for so long that you never really get over them. Sure you go on and love other people, but that relationship still informs so much of who you are. (this is always what I think of when I think of the "Guard your heart above all else for it is the wellspring of life" proverb, because it's so true! We give away our hearts, especially when we're young, so easily with no thought to just how much it might change us. I mean obviously loving courageously and not being afraid to love are good things, but some of us are more sensitive and require more care than others, okay?!?) Also, Lisa values kindness more than anything else, which, yes.

Anyway, most of the book is about this imagined life with her daughter, but the end goes back to real time and what her actual life is..how she's living with regrets and what her reality is, etc. In some ways, I feel like this book is just a really beautiful, honest portrait of a single woman's inner life. You know, there's a lot of pressure to have life look one way (married with a baby, tbh, also nowadays have a successful career and do it all!). And some women choose something else and actively choose something else, but that doesn't mean that they don't have really complicated feelings about it. (I think mothers do, too! Don't we all!) So there's a melancholy, bittersweetness that's just inherent in the idea of this book.

Oh also, I like the way she weaves elements of her actual life into her imagined life...like, she comes across open mic nights later in life and imagines that if she'd had her baby, she probably would have been participating in them.

So!

If this sounds like something you might enjoy, the publisher is offering two copies for giveaway for those of you in the United States. Just fill out the form below to express your interest.

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Looking for Me by Beth Hoffman

mypalamy@gmail.com — Tue, 28 May 2013 00:00:00 PDT

Sometimes you just want to read a nice book. You know what kind of book I mean. One that's easy to read and populated with easy to love characters and full of interesting details about the furniture refinishing business and infused with so much warmth and love and generally good feelings about people even if life is hard and it hurts.

I am not always in the mood for this sort of book, but today I was and I read Beth Hoffman's Looking for Me and I just loved it. I breezed through it relatively quickly and I just enjoyed it so much.

Looking for Me is about Teddi. Teddi sells antiques and refinishes and repairs furniture for a living. But she didn't start out there and this novel tells us how she came to do that as well as giving us some stories about her past and where she came from. It's about a brother and sister relationship, but also about a mother and daughter (in fact, I really thought from the beginning it was going to be more mother/daughter but it kind of takes in a bunch of stuff) Admittedly, there were times when I had no idea where it was going but that didn't detract from my enjoyment of the book.

There's even a little bit of a mystery at the heart of a book, the kind that will make your heart ache and while it's given some resolution, I don't think it's the kind of resolution that I would personally want. But it makes sense. And there are all these little moments of wisdom, and there's all this glorious beautiful friendship.

One quibble! Teddi was shaping up to be one of those characters that could maybe stay single and still be happy, but a relationship arrives in the picture. I didn't need it to imagine a happy ending for Teddi.

Great enjoyable read!

Rating: 4.5/5
Source of Book: Review copy received from publisher
Publisher: Pamela Dorman Books/viking (penguin)

The First Rule of Swimming by Courtney Angela Brkic

mypalamy@gmail.com — Mon, 27 May 2013 00:00:11 PDT

I'm sort of a sucker for good stories about sisters and beautiful writing so The First Rule of Swimming was definitely a book I enjoyed. In fact, it was such a pleasant read that I breezed through it in one night!

I don't know a lot about the history of Croatia, but it's not necessary for enjoyment of this book. I think Brkic did a good job of what Ru Freeman describes in this interview, of writing from the consciousness of the characters and describing how the events affected them. So...while I still don't really know the history, that never detracted from my enjoyment of the book because I knew that what happened had affected them a lot and been important to them.

There are two sisters with different fathers. And while one sister knows who her father was, the other does not. This is one of the reasons she always feels quite restless and ends up going overseas to sort of find herself. But she disappears and so her sister goes to America herself to look for her.

I loved this book because I love stories about identity and finding out who you are. I like stories about unraveling the secrets of the past in order to learn new truths. And I liked that there was exploration of ideas of what stories belong to who and who gets to claim what pain. I also just love stories where there's a love between sisters or friends or non-romantic that is so deep it covers up oceans of hurt.

The novel wasn't perfect. The ending seemed just a bit overly dramatic/action-y to me, though that might help this book be more commercial than it otherwise would have been. There's a romance that isn't given a huge amount of depth or resolution but is resolved. Even so, I found this book hugely enjoyable and as I mentioned before, compulsively readable. Definitely an author to keep an eye on and a book to enjoy!

Rating: 4.5/5
Source of Book: ARC from publisher
Publisher: Little, Brown

Bates Motel and the Cycle of Abuse

mypalamy@gmail.com — Sat, 25 May 2013 22:20:19 PDT

(Spoilers for Season One of Bates Motel, particularly as they relate to Norma Bates, in this post)

One of the things I like* about Bates Motel is that instead of setting it in the past, it's more like...what would Norman Bates, teenage boy, be like today? (and of course Norma!) Bates Motel is kind of strange if you think about it...it's inspired by characters from a film based on a book based on a real life person. And when the show was first announced I was doubtful (though still totally going to check it out!) because it just seems like there are no new ideas. Also, how much story could there really be? A lot it turns out.

Some of it really interesting, some of it more like a failed attempt to create intrigue and mystery. I find the show entertaining and a good time and I almost hesitate to write from this super serious point of view about it, but I just can't help myself. I guess it's credit to the original author of Psycho and Alfred Hitchcock's interpretation in film that they managed to create a character in such a state of mind that you would wonder about him and what made him who he is. But as the show has progressed, it's not actually Norman that I'm interested in so much as it is his mother, Norma Bates. And...I guess that makes sense? In Psycho, the only things we know about Norma is the short brief story told to Marion Crane's sister about her death. Otherwise, she's nothing but a corpse, the "Mother" in Psycho is really a manifestation of Norman himself.

So while the story of Psycho largely erased Norma from the narrative, Bates Motel seeks to fill in our understanding of who this woman might have been, Norman's first victim. (though Bates Motel would most assuredly have us believe she was not the first!) Norman has some pretty confused ideas about sexuality and his Madonna/Whore complex comes raging into violent reality early in the show. While the blame can't entirely be placed at Norma's feet, I think it's pretty clear Norman is mentally ill, she certainly doesn't help. Their relationship is unhealthy, she does demonstrate jealousy and suspicion of other girls in his life and her efforts to protect him actually harm him. She won't let him see a psychologist without also sitting in on the session, she hides his blackouts from the world, and she covers up his crimes. I won't argue her actions are motivated from love, but I do think they are motivated by the only way she knows how to love, which is to say, not very well at all.

Norma herself, though, is a victim of abuse. Of lifelong trauma, I would argue. The very first episode has Norma facing a brutal sexual assault that sets off a series of events. She's a survivor as best she knows how to be and sometimes that's not very well. But..I don't know, despite all of this I feel so much for the character and I think the show has done a good job of reclaiming her story. It also helps that Vera Farmiga, who brings her to life, is giving it her all. Norma feels alive and real. She's equal parts adorable and irritating and sympathetic. Norma is a victim before she's an abuser and the whole of that is a very sad thing to me. The extent of Norma's background, however, we don't begin to understand until the finale of the season when, at a completely inappropriate time and to a completely inappropriate person she confesses the truth of her history. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

For the whole of the season, Norma's story has been one of struggling to get control over her life. This extends, unfortunately, to the way she manages Norman. But the very opening episode suggests that the town they've moved to is not that great and when the former owner of the motel aggressively breaks into her house and sexually assaults him, her response is to kill him and cover up the evidence in Psycho Bates style. But of course that goes horribly wrong and evidence is uncovered by people who would seek to exploit their knowledge of it. Most notable is the deputy sheriff who finds himself attracted to Norma with a desire to protect her. Norma thus finds her fate dependent on this guy (who is very shady) and his attraction to her as a woman. When Norma thinks she's finally going to go to jail, she gives us the first hint of the kind of life she's had when she breaks down in front of Norman. "You don't understand, Norman. My whole life I've had to put up with things." Even though, yes she killed this guy and ill advisedly attempted to cover it up, the man was brutal and assaulted her. It's hard not to feel for her even while being annoyed by the way she is always trying to stay in control.

And that's really the story of Norma throughout the season. She is trying, trying so hard to maintain a measure of control over her life and she keeps getting beaten down. As soon as one horrific ordeal settles, another pops up. Over and over, men attempt to control and manipulate Norma. Yes, it is always men. It makes sense that she in turn controls and manipulates Norman. She is definitely emotionally abusive, there is no question. But Norma didn't arrive as an abuser in isolation. She herself was horrifically abused.

In the finale, Norma thinks she might die. She feels that she's lost the latest battle and her ever fragile grip on control is quickly eroding. Thanks to Vera Farmiga it's almost amusing to watch her as she first attempts to speak with a therapist and then unleashes her rage at a man who is mildly rude to her in the street. (this was such a great character moment, because she is at first apologetic for running into him and when he retorts back, she just explodes in rage. She is just so sick of the world shitting on her that when she's sorry for even the littlest thing and it's met with contempt, she just can't keep her feelings in any more. A++) But it's also heartbreaking to watch her growing fear. Even though the Sheriff tells her to trust him, she doesn't, because Norma doesn't really trust anyone but herself. Fearing she might die, she breaks down in front of Norman and tells him the truth of how her brother sexually molested her growing up. It's one of those scenes that's just so uncomfortable to watch because you can empathize with Norma's sudden and intense desire to be really known before she might possibly die, but it's also the wrong time and the wrong person. Poor Norman! He's about to go to the dance! And his mother drops this HUGE revelation on him. But it's also a key scene because it continues to show us how Norma lacks all appropriate boundaries with her son while also giving us a huge key to her past and understanding her behavior of the season.

Norma is constantly trying to improve their lives and hoping things will get better. Even at the end of the first season, she thinks they have finally put their troubles behind them. The sad thing is, though, that of course they haven't. Their external troubles are nothing in comparison to the darkness and damage they each have inside themselves. It's sad to watch Norman's progression as a killer and Norma's misguided attempts to fix and make right her life, knowing that in the end, she's only perpetuated a cycle of abuse that will eventually claim her life.

*a lot of people don't like this! But for me it opens up the story so much more than it if tried to be a strict origins story.

Loving a Person (Brief Thoughts on The Americans and Love)

mypalamy@gmail.com — Fri, 24 May 2013 00:00:05 PDT

The thing to understand is that we see what we need to see in people. Things that aren’t really there. Elizabeth Jennings on The Americans

I.
If I had to pick a new favorite show for this TV season, The Americans would win hands down. It's not just that the show consistently delivers a taut, thrilling spy drama each week, it's that the show is fundamentally about people and relationships and how we know each other. "A movie is not about what it is about," Roger Ebert famously said, "It is about how it is about it." The Americans is more than a spy show--the 80's setting, the Cold War conflicts, the spy activities--these are just the outer wrappings of a show that is fundamentally about marriage, about family, about friendship, about knowing each other. What better avenue to explore relationships and the way we appear to each other than a show that uses relationships to personal benefit, where the characters adopt different personas and become what another person needs in order to get information. It's so rare to find the TV show that manages to be completely entertaining while also deeply about the human condition in a way that's recognizable and understandable. The Americans is that show.

II.
Last month one of my oldest online friends wrote a great piece for ArtHouse America. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since, mulling over the many things he said, the complicated nature of knowing people and loving them. The complicated way we have as humans of being in relationship. He wrote about a new relationship he's in, about how he doesn't want to end up using this person to ease his own personal loneliness but that he wants to really know and love her. He doesn't want to see what he needs to see in her, but rather to see for who she really is. This is no easy goal, in my opinion, the human tendency to use and abuse in relationship is strong. The sometimes necessary act of romanticizing someone in order not to dwell on the uglier parts of what it means for each of us to be human--selfish, weak, imperfect. Stephen calls this a different kind of lonely. It's complicated precisely because as humans we do need relationship, and yet the tendency to use in order to get what we need is also only natural. This can exhaust me sometimes, as I battle between my own unrealistic expectations and my desire to love someone for exactly who they are.

III.
The feeling of love itself we love, though. The Great Gatsby recently released in theater, and there was never a more perfect example of loving someone only because they embody an idea. Despite the fact that Gatsby loves Daisy as an idea of his past, it's easy to sympathize with him even still. Have we all not walked that path in some way? Idealizing and romanticizing another is part of the human condition. Sure we may not carry it to the same extremes as Gatsby does, but we find our fair share of films and books and TV shows that are still about this all too common thing. The manic-pixie-dream girl trope exists because of our preoccupation with the ideas of loving something with no thought to the subject loved. The point is the idealization/obsession itself. This pervasive and sweeping trend captures our interest much more than actual stories about the hard business of loving.

This behavior exists in our treatment of public figures as well. We love them for the best foot they put forward. When the inevitable happens and they fail us by being human, selfish, disrespectful, unkind, violent we write them off. If their image is centered around their goodness, it's possible we never really know them at all.

IV.
On The Americans, we are introduced to a couple who has been "married" for years, they have children together, and share a home. But really they are KGB agents undercover in the United States. From the very beginning we watch them negotiate the terms of their marriage. Philip loves Elizabeth, but Elizabeth will have none of it. She's married first and foremost to her mission. She is as tough as steel and unyielding. We learn as the show progresses, she was chosen because of her fear of surrender. This doesn't mean she doesn't love. She loves her children and she has a lover, Gregory. I admit that while at first I felt a level of investment in Philip and Elizabeth's relationship, I was equally enamored of Elizabeth and Gregory's relationship. In one episode, Gregory's status is compromised and his death seems imminent. As he says his goodbyes to Elizabeth, he tells her to find someone who loves her for being so strong. Part of me swooned, it was so romantic and right. But I can't help but consider the way Elizabeth has been presented, that she was chosen because of her fear of surrender and love is nothing if not surrender. "Love and pride can't occupy the same spaces, baby" Sara Groves sings in Loving a Person "and only one makes you free." Is finding someone who loves you for being strong the best thing? Yes, but only if you're strong enough to accept it.

V.
I think we crave equally to be loved for exactly who we are. When I trained in adult literacy we were encouraged to use praise sparingly. Not as a form of punishment but because it needed to be genuinely earned or its meaning weakens. I think about this in relation to actual life, to giving compliments. I tend to be fast and easy with praise and compliments, but it's clear they are valued less than if I didn't. And sometimes a kind word, meant as a compliment, can become a sort of trap or prison to the person who doesn't believe it genuinely reflects who they are. We hunger to be seen, not only the good of who we are, but also our rougher, more unpleasant edges. We want to be seen and known and not cast aside. We want to be loved for exactly who we are, because we simply cannot be anyone else.

VI.
Each week on The Americans, Philip and Elizabeth don a new costume and accomplish a mission. It's only made possible by their exploitation of people's desire to see a certain thing. This is never more apparent than with Philip's ongoing relationship with Martha that results in their fake marriage. While watching it's kind of hard to believe Martha doesn't figure it out, how can she not know? But of course the answer is there, is always there. We see what we need to see in people. Martha sees in Clark the answer to all her lonely nights, the one she's been waiting for. When the truth comes out, as it inevitably will in some form, she will most likely look back and see the truth of what was happening and be gripped with self-recrimination and regret.

So it's amid this world of costume and deceit that Elizabeth and Philip begin to find their way to each other. "I want it to be real," Elizabeth confesses to Philip. What does she mean? She means that, of course, in this crazy life they lead, she wants what they share to be genuine. This is the reason that she turns away from him when she discovers that he's lied to her after she point blank asks him the truth about an encounter with an old flame. Elizabeth isn't interested in seeing what she needs or wants to see. She wants the truth. She wants it to be real even if what's real is ugly and unpleasant. Idealizing and romanticizing someone can only you take so far. At some point the masks must come off, the costumes set aside, the real person must emerge.

"Loving a person just the way they are," Sara Groves concludes, "that's no small thing. That's the whole thing."

13 Links Worth Checking Out

mypalamy@gmail.com — Thu, 23 May 2013 00:00:18 PDT

1. Elementary is one of the few new broadcast shows from this season worth checking out and while I like it, I'm sad to say I haven't been as enthusiastic as others in fully embracing it. But...this piece convinced me Elementary is doing more than met my eye initially which is always intriguing for me. I do love Joan and Sherlock and I really adore Jonny Lee Miller's Sherlock, but I've struggled with enjoying the cases themselves which comprise a large percentage of the actual show. (I think the writers of Elementary just aren't interested in writing mysteries which is unfortunate for a procedural) Anyway, I felt some more enthusiasm for the show after reading that i09 piece, and feel that I might have enjoyed it even more if I was more familiar with the source material. So I downloaded some stories and started reading them! Elementary's second season premiere will be in London. I wish I could encourage you to catch up on Netflix, but CBS hates us and most likely won't license the right to stream.

2. The TV Critics Choice Award Nominees were announced and I was so pleased by some of the nominations that I initially missed that Downton Abbey is still getting nominations! Then of course I got irritated by people that were like Andrew Lincoln over Jon Hamm? Really? Because let's face it...Andy Lincoln has to pretend that zombies are real and a threat every single week. He had a really tough character arc this season and while I agree that some moments might have missed the mark, mostly I was glad he was recognized because he is fantastic! Also, I was just pleased The Walking Dead was getting any kind of awards recognition since most people dismiss it despite it's rich thematic writing. But I was also thrilled that Tatiana Maslany was nominated because she's truly amazing as this tumblr user points out. She's done a really great job of creating very distinct characters on Orphan Black..I don't know, I'm just really impressed. But I'm also so happy by recognition for The Americans which was hands down my favorite new show this year. So excited for Keri Russell who is riveting as Elizabeth Jennings. And Vera Farmiga as well, as Norma Bates, has been wonderful. So the women's category really pleased me. (and while Juliana Marguiles is never the first person I think of when it comes to amazing performances, I do remember some moments from this past season I thought were particularly good, so yay for her, too)

3. FX has released the trailer for The Bridge and I'm excited. I'm so excited for this show you guys and nervous at the same time that they'll screw it up. Anyway, I want to try to recap it when it airs so I'm hoping some of you will be watching and we can discuss it and stuff! Or I can discuss it by myself, whatever works.

4. This post is about someone stepping back from covering TV as a freelancer/second job but some of the stuff he talks about really resonated with me about book blogging. I think anyone who jumps into passion blogging about something and really works to make something out of it realizes that eventually there's no place left to go. Like, I think that was my whole crisis with book blogging...I had poured hours into it and really devoted an unhealthy degree of my life to it and eventually I plateaued with my own abilities and time and what do you do after that? For me the answer has been stepping back, but I don't ever think it will be to quit entirely. I love books and I've loved some of the opportunities I've had from book blogging, but the truth is books/reading/blogging came to define me more than I really think it should have. I have other interests! I want my life to be about other things.

5. Hot galleys at BEA! Even if you aren't going to BEA (I'm not) it's always fun to look at these lists and get ready for all the amazing books coming our way.

6. Susan Hazen-Hammond's review of A Questionable Shape at The Millions thrilled me. Sometimes that can happen with the book review itself as an art form! I'm not sure this book is for me...though I'm definitely curious to check it out after her review, but her conclusion that, "A Questionable Shape is a novel for those who read in order to wake up to life, not escape it, for those who themselves like to explore the frontiers of the unsayable." was eye-opening to me. I feel like I read for both reasons and I think the very best books surprisingly offer both. I love the phrasing of reading to wake up to life, though, because so often books do exactly that.

7. Guess what? Women are still vastly underrepresented in movies. VASTLY. This depresses me. And it maybe helps explain why I feel less interest in movie watching than in the past. Though there is a huge list of movies I want to see this summer like, World War Z! Hollywood is depressing. It's depressing that things are going backwards instead of forwards!

8. Kids are reading off screens more and more. Does it make a difference? I don't know. What I do know is that I've thought a lot about how important seeing adults reading is for the development of readers. And nowadays most folks read on their tablets or phones? Does this change things? I don't know. I'm sort of a dinosaur but I miss what books used to be. On the other hand, storage issues. What is this world? How did I get so old?

9. I loved Ru Freeman's A Disobedient Girl and while I haven't read On Sal Mal Lane, I loooved this interview with The Millions. I like what she says about writing fiction and social justice activism. I love what she says about writing how world events impact fully realized characters and not educating the reader with filler in the books about those situations. Love!

10. Amazon is selling fan fiction. Or something. Making it possible for people to make money off of fan fiction. Really I see it as the original rights holders having a chance to make money off fan fiction? It's no surprise that Alloy is the first to agree to this since everything is manufactured via group there anyway. I don't have any deep thoughts or feelings on this but maybe some of you do?

11. They have made a movie about Rich Mullins. You can watch the trailer here. I have super mixed feelings about this, like on the one hand who is more compelling or interesting or was so instrumental in the Christian music scene than Rich Mullins? On the other hand, what if it's bad? I am hopeful that it will be decent, though. I remember when my youth pastor's wife tried to explain how much influence he had in her life, how she cried when she found out he'd passed away, and I thought I understood, but I didn't understand until I discovered Andrew Peterson (also very influenced by Rich Mullins!) I love many of his songs, the raw honesty in them is something I think we still crave. And also so poetic and beautiful, sigh. Anyway, super curious about the movie.

12. You can watch the final unaired episodes of Don't Trust the B-- on ABC right now. I liked this show, rare for me and comedy, and I'm sad it's over. I still need to watch these eps, though!

13. Speaking of me and comedy, once upon a time I read that Archer had a lot of literary references which made it go on the maybe list of shows to watch one day. Welllll, I just recently breezed through the first three seasons and I really liked it so much. It made me laugh a lot despite how...um crass it is. So here have a link about the top ten literary references in the show.

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

mypalamy@gmail.com — Wed, 22 May 2013 00:00:03 PDT

I read Gone Girl last year like the rest of the country and enjoyed it. So when Christine sent me Dark Places as part a Halloween swap Ana and I did, I was looking forward to reading it. I went to Tennessee awhile back I brought it for the plane. And wow it was the PERFECT plane book, I did not want to put it down it sucked me in immediately.

I think Dark Places felt more compelling to me because it was about an old case from the past...the sort of situation where it was solved but was it really solved??? And it wasn't just any murder, it was a murder in a farm house with an axe!! And Satan worship was involved!! I mean seriously, you can't get any more intriguing than that. So Libby started out immediately as an extremely interesting protagonist because she was just six years old when the rest of her family was hacked to death and she was the only survivor. And the narrative that was immediately adopted was that her brother was guilty. I mean...wow what a tough way to start out life!

But when the book opens, Libby is in her late twenties and all the sympathy money she got over the years for being the sole survivor of such a terrible crime is almost gone which means she needs to find a new source of income. Enter: The Kill Club. This is a group of people who are kind of...fans of past crimes? And they believe the wrong person, Libby's brother, Ben was convicted. They are willing to pay her to speak to them and more.

Libby starts to question everything she knows about what happened that night and uncovers realities long buried.

Dark Places uses multiple narratives like Gone Girl did..Libby's present, first person point of view and then the chapters that go back to the past alternate between her mother and brother recreating that one fateful day. And I loved it.

One of the things I loved about Dark Places is the economy of the story telling. You know how in mysteries there are all these red herrings and you get tired of them? Well, in Dark Places it's more like all the little stray pieces of the puzzle that Libby chases actually build to one whole. They all work in relationship to each other--to understanding the truth of what happened. Which I really loved. I also liked that even though everything might not be exactly what it seems it doesn't mean there isn't some essential truth to it. Which raises all kinds of interesting thoughts about justice to me.

As you can expect from a Gillian Flynn novel, (I think--still need to read Sharp Objects!)there's all kinds of gender stuff in here. There's apparently a battle always raging about whether or not she's a misogynist. Her female leads are not nice palatable characters (though Libby sort of was more than Amy) that conform to traditional expectations for women. Flynn has said she likes to explore female violence in her books because it gets ignored so often. Also, there's lots of sex without it being sexy and cursing and violence. This is a gritty book.

Oh! And the Satan worship stuff. Since the crime against Libby's family happened in the 80's this fits in perfectly. Anyone else grow up in an evangelical family where you heard tons of stuff about the devil and demons when you were growing up? Lol, I remember once I was out with my friend and we had taken a drive to the woods and we were just having a nice time enjoying the nature when suddenly I realized it was Halloween and I got freaked out we were going to be kidnapped for a devil worshipers sacrifice. Lololol. Anyway, it just rang true for the times especially in Kansas!

The book is inspired by In Cold Blood, I guess, which I've never read, but now I want to! Have any of you read it?

As I was writing this, I was thinking about how all her books are being made into movies. And..like I wonder how that will work? Like all the mystery is gone! Hopefully, they'll still be good. I'm also super curious about her YA novel.

On Quitting the Internet + Joshilyn Jackson

mypalamy@gmail.com — Tue, 21 May 2013 00:00:10 PDT

No I'm not quitting the internet. But it's something I've thought about a lot lately, like would my life be better if I wasn't always so plugged in (and I feel a lot less plugged in these days!), etc. You know these articles and studies are always popping up like that one we all talked about a year or so again that said people on the internet are more depressed than other people (which led to the giant revelation that we are often fake happy on the internet, and that sort of constant fake enthusiasm is exhaustingggg) Or the one Trish talked about with Pinterest and making comparisons the other day. No this isn't going to turn into yet another post about who we are on the internet and internet relationships even though that's one of my favorite topics to talk about. On the internet. lol. No instead I'm thinking about that piece that's a few weeks old now but I've been thinking about.

So this dude quit the internet for a year and in a shocking turn of events, it didn't change his life forever for the better. I felt two things when I read this: relief that I don't have to quit the internet after all, and disappointment that there's not a magical cure out there to make my life better. No longer can I think, gee if I could just quit the internet I'd become the person I always wish I was. Because internet or no internet I'm still going to be me. Quitting the internet wouldn't fix me. This is something I should have always known, I think I've tried to quit enough stuff in life thinking it was the problem when really the problem is deep down inside.

That's not, of course, to say that there might not be times when stepping away from the internet is the right thing. Or that certain things like using Pinterest more or limiting Twitter time aren't wise choices. For me, it's just acknowledging that it's time to stop thinking if I just stepped away from the Internet everything would be magically better!

Before BEA they release this BUZZ BOOKS 2013 Digital Edition with excerpts from all the hot books coming out later in the year. I can't go to BEA this year, but I'd thought I'd try to read some of these and report back in the next few weeks. I need reasons to blog, I remember how much I enjoyed NaBloPoMo when I did it, so maybe this will give me a reason.

So Joshilyn Jackson is releasing a book with William Morrow later this fall. It's called Someone Else's Love Story and the first chapter is everything you've come to expect from the amazing Joshilyn Jackson. She quickly draws interesting characters in unusual situations, set very much in Georgia (I was like whoa...remembering things I haven't thought of in years!), using the prettiest language ever. EVER. So basically yes this seems like it should be a winner and I can't wait to read it!

What big fall books are you looking forwards to?

So Yahoo Bought Tumblr, Do You Care?

mypalamy@gmail.com — Mon, 20 May 2013 16:37:03 PDT

So the internet is buzzing about Yahoo's acquisition of tumblr. I use tumblr sometimes more than others, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately and how it alters the way I watch TV and think about it, etc. (basically I'm going to use this news as a chance to talk about tumblr) (Please note: I use tumblr and Tumblr both in this post because I couldn't make up my mind)

For example, when I first started using Tumblr, I intended it to be a place where I put all my random thoughts (lol this blog pretty much takes them now), quotes from books I liked, etc. But then it sort of got taken over by fandom, and I realized it was a fun place to see what other people thought about the TV shows I watch and there were tons of pretty gifs like SECONDS after a show ended and fan art and it was all kind of exciting. So then I bored all of my bookish followers to tears by reblogging endless TV stuff.

Anyway, I've started finding it less fun. For one thing, all these articles mention one of the bigger problems which is that there are 900 posts per second on Tumblr. And a loooot of them are not that great. A little while go I cut back majorly on who I follow which has helped a lot. It's hard to see the posts of the people you really care about when some people are posting their maximum of 200 times a day. Additionally, you might be friends with someone who loves something you're not too fond of and they end up reblogging it a lot...and there are all these you know reasons you can't unfollow them (not unlike Twitter) so you end up having to use plug-ins to not see all that stuff. Tumblr isn't usable without tumblr savior. Or Missing E, really, but unfortunately that hasn't worked for awhile every since Tumblr did a redesign. So hey, if Yahoo comes in and fixes this stuff I'd be grateful! The problem, also, is that Tumblr has no real commenting system. People will reblog stuff and put all their thoughts and feelings (I refuse to say feels okay) in the tags. And if you want to communicate or respond you basically have to reblog all their stuff (gifset + tags) and add your own thoughts. (You can use the ask function but it's a bit intimidating and also keeps the conversation private). So basically these are all the reasons I find tumblr to be a messy, unwelcoming platform for interaction. Surprisingly enough people do seem to find communities on there and make friends and that's great, I'm happy for them, it just hasn't really happened for me!

ANYWAY, all that aside, what's been bothering me lately is how using tumblr (and I do a lot of tedious boring work on the computer and sneak on tumblr/twitter for a mental break) alters the way I think about TV. Like...I can't really watch TV anymore without thinking of the resulting gifsets that will be made of certain scenes. Or worse, how Tumblr fans will react to developments. I think I might actually enjoy Elementary more as a show if I didn't feel it was overly praised for what it gets right from a representation stand point while the actual mysteries/cases leave SO MUCH to be desired. Even the finale of Elementary, which I loved for the Sherlock/Joan moments still didn't ~arrive for me from the standpoint of creating a compelling case. I'll keep watching because you know, Sherlock named a bee after Joan (and my other favorite moment tbh was when he was trying to manipulate her by saying he was disappointed in her, such a great true character moment) but I will also probably always wish it was something just a little bit more than it is. Even so, I remember when I thought Moriarity was going to be black, that I was actually wondering how people were going to react to that if they'd like it or hate etc, so much it pulled me out from just really watching and that annoyed me.

And also there's the problem of spoilers, Twitter is bad, Tumblr is impossible. I've realized that if I get spoiled for something I feel less inclined to watch it. Which, you know, may be a good thing. But being spoiled for stuff also changes the way you watch.

I don't know maybe this was one big post to convince myself to give up tumblr, which wouldn't be too hard to do at this point. I wish I could delete my account in some ways but then I couldn't comment on the few posts that allow comments you all post! Also, I'd probably regret it and I still feel the necessity to claim as much myfriendamy internet space as I can.

But if Yahoo comes in and changes things up, I don't necessarily see it as an awful thing because I don't love Tumblr the way it is to begin with.

How about you guys? Do you use tumblr? Are you worried about the Yahoo acquisition? Do you think sites like Tumblr, Twitter, etc. change the way you watch TV?

Just Some Little Things

mypalamy@gmail.com — Fri, 17 May 2013 20:47:54 PDT

*I watched two horror movies this week. The first one, The Haunting In Connecticut: The Ghosts of Georgia proves how much Hollywood is dependent on sequels and name recognition. The story has absolutely nothing to do with Connecticut. I had issues with the movie, but mostly it's the kind of horror movie I like, even though ridiculous, it kept me entertained and had an interesting back story for the ghosts.

The second, The House at the End of the Street, was beyond terrible. The movie explained nothing about how it's terrible twist worked! Waste of a great cast, tbh. It did make me sort of itch to write my Dark Places review, though, so maybe once thinking + writing is something I can do again, I will!

*I also saw The Great Gatsby. I wanted to do a ~review and recommend some books, but I have all these thoughts that sort of go all over the place and so it may never happen. Short story then--I liked it.

*Due to watching the aforementioned horror movies I'm behind on TV. I don't watch The Vampire Diaries anymore, but wow it sounds like it has gotten really really terrible. Are any of you still happy with it?

*If I were to buy one book which do you think it should be? The 5th Wave, The Woman Upstairs, or Eleanor and Park? These are big titles I'm sort of anxious to read but I can't really get them all because I already have a ton to read, also money.

*Over at The Friendly Book Nook, my mom is giving away a really great children's book and she wants you to enter!

*Oh ALSO. I wrote about how TV doesn't like YA novels, but I was wrong, sort of. The new CW show The 100 is also a book, but that's been developed by Alloy and they don't really count. The book comes out in September. Also, Intelligence is based on a book that's not out yet, a YA sci-fi. So...I don't know? Intelligence doesn't seem like it's going to be an actual YA show, but it was news to me. In both of these cases, the books aren't out yet which presents an interesting situation.

Happy Weekend everyone!

The Person I Wish I Was

mypalamy@gmail.com — Wed, 15 May 2013 00:00:08 PDT

Last week Jenny had this brilliant insight on her blog,

The interesting thing about working slowly through my TBR pile(s) is that quite often, I find that the reason I haven’t read the fiction books is that they are not quite my jam. It’s all these books that I want to be my jam... but something inside me knows that they will not be. And that is why I have been putting them off. (emphasis mine)

Though for me this goes much beyond fiction books in my TBR pile. (though it certainly applies there) It also has to do with all the nonfiction books I have, the movies in my Netflix queue, and even sometimes the TV shows I try to watch.

I read this same idea again on The Rabbit Room in a great piece by Andrew Peterson last week,

Years ago I read a great op-ed piece in Entertainment Weekly about Netflix. The author talked about how seldom he feels like watching the DVDs that come in the mail, prompting him to wonder what he was thinking when he added them to his queue weeks ago. His conclusion was that he’s two people: the movie watcher he wishes he was, someone who enjoys sophisticated, artful fare like A Trip to Bountiful and Tree of Life—and then there’s the movie watcher he is, who, let’s face it, would rather turn off his brain and watch Die Hard and Terminator 2.

There's the person I wish I was...someone who reads speculative fiction, the classics, the smart poetic philosophical Christian writers, non-fiction in general--this person acquires books of this sort. My TBR pile is overflowing with books that seem like a good idea, books I wish I loved, books that I feel even by owning make me one tiny step closer to this smarter person with good taste and then there's the person I actually am--the one who gobbles up women's fiction and dystopian YA quite quickly and let's be real--misses 75% of the point of War and Peace.

Where do I get this idea of this other person? I think honestly, from the people I know. The people I admire and respect. They like these other things and sometimes I like them, too, but more often than not I don't quite love them in that same gut way others do.

I feel sometimes like I am both people...I do love Tree of Life, for example, and some subtitled Danish shows. But I also watch and take seriously The Walking Dead and like to jump on tumblr and reblog all the pretty gifs after enjoying an episode of TV I watch. I like to talk about the books I enjoy and the movies I like even if they aren't up to whatever the standard of the day is.

Part of me wants to get real and discard the books that exist only as physical representation of who I wish could be rather than who I actually am. But another part of me thinks I'll eventually get disciplined enough to actually somehow become this person. This is the true struggle with the TBR.

It's weird because as I write this I think about all the complicated stuff in play. Like how there's art that's considered sophisticated and therefore it says something about you if you like it. I mean maybe that's my ultimate thing I battle when I want people to take YA and TV-other-than-Mad-Men seriously. I love other stuff and I don't want to be dismissed on account of it.

And yesss these are MY issues. But it's interesting to contemplate and consider this ever present conflict inside of me.

Anyone relate? Even a little bit?

Guest Post: Jill Shalvis on Read Humane 2013

mypalamy@gmail.com — Tue, 14 May 2013 00:00:13 PDT

This May, My Friend Amy is pleased to support Penguin Group (USA)’s Read Humane® 2013 campaign to fight animal cruelty. I would like to welcome spokesperson and bestselling author Jill Shalvis to my blog today, where she is sharing with us her family’s animal rescue story discusses her Animal Magnetism series with a piece entitled “Why Dogs Make Great Sidekicks!”

Read Humane® is an initiative created by Penguin Group (USA) in 2012 to support our furry friends in honor of National Pet Month (May). As part of the Read Humane® 2013 campaign, six special edition, animal-themed mass market paperbacks have been reissued featuring the official Read Humane® seal. Penguin supports the fight against animal cruelty with a $25,000 donation, regardless of sales, to The Humane Society of the United States' Animal Rescue Team.

For more information, and complete lists of the six participating authors and book retailers, please visit Penguin Group (USA) or view the official Read Humane® Prezi here.

And remember to join the conversation on Twitter with @BerkleyRomance and @HSUS throughout May by using the hashtag #readHumane. Followers are encouraged to Tweet about Penguin’s animal friendly books, share their own rescue stories, and join in other pet themed conversations.

Jill Shalvis is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of over four dozen romance novels, including her fun contemporary Animal Magnetism series, which promotes animal rescue dogs. Jill is a 3-time National Readers Choice winner, and lover of animals! More information about Jill and her collection of fabulous romance titles can be found at www.JillShalvis.com.

***

My Rescue Story, by Jill Shalvis…

At any point, on any day in the Shalvis abode, there are animals. All of them rescued, always. It’s become somewhat of a family tradition, rescuing animals in need, and we’ve found that not only is it a nice thing to do, we get a really great pet out of the deal.

A couple of years ago, our house was fairly full. Okay, so it was straining at the wall joints. We had Ashes -- our rescue Border Collie/Australian Blue Heeler. Sadie – our cat who thinks she’s a dog. Micky – a field mouse rescued from the high school science lab. And four teenage girls.

Actually, it wasn’t a house. It was a zoo.

But a year before we’d lost Izzie, our beloved brown lab. And we missed having two dogs. Yes, we’re crazy. Anyway, on that fated day I’m about to tell you about, Alpha Man (my husband) had heard about a yellow lab puppy who needed rescue.

No. No way. I was adamant. I had enough on my plate. But Alpha Man just wanted to go make sure the lab was okay.

So we left the mountain…

And drove…

We were following the sketch directions from a guy who knew a guy who had told us about a woman who lived out in the middle of nowhere, and I mean NOWHERE, and she rescues animals.

The landscape was like something out of a Criminal Minds episode, so we were wary at first. We had no idea what we were going to find. A box of puppies, or a meth lab … nothing would have surprised me. I was a little worried because the kids were with us, but it turned out the place was fifty acres of love.

Any animal in need is welcome.

Even the funny looking ones…

The woman had goats, horses, turtles, geese, snakes, angry chickens ... you name it and she had it. She was rehabbing it, doctoring it, loving it … whatever the animal needed.

We’d gone because of the rumor of the puppies, the yellow labs. And she did have two puppies. She’d rescued them out of a horrible situation.

But the yellow lab wasn’t the one who stole our hearts. Nope, it was her little baby brother.

The runt.

He was filthy and living in a hovel. And the minute he saw us, he came alive. Wriggling, happy, loving. All you had to do was touch him and he writhed in joy and dropped to the floor for a belly rub.

And once he was picked up by the teenagers and loved up by them, he didn’t want to get down. I tried. I tried hard. But the thing had wriggled his way right into my heart. I remember looking at Alpha Man, laughing and crying at the same time.

“You didn’t want another dog,” he reminded me.

I told him to zip it. We were taking this dog and that was that. Besides, there was the little matter of him being in my arms and refusing to be put down.

So we never put him down again. Meet Frat Boy…

***

Why Dogs Make Great Sidekicks, by Jill Shalvis…

Now that you know a little bit about my rescue story, I want to share with you some of the inspiration for my Animal Magnetism series. One of the fun things about writing this series is developing complex and lovable characters… that just happen to be adorable dogs! Here’s why dogs make great sidekicks…

1. Because when you’re on the mountain trail and you come across an angry mama bear and her baby cubs, your dog will run like hell. This will warn you to run like hell as well. Just be careful because if your dog is like my dog, he will throw you under the bus (or in this case bear) to get home before you do.

2. Because when all the cookies are gone you can totally blame your cookie loving dog. No one has to know that you ate all the cookies yourself. And your dog can give you dirty looks for blaming him but he can’t actually talk and dispute your story. Solid alibi.

3. Because if you’ve eaten in a way that disagrees with your stomach, there are never any worries. Your dog will always, ALWAYS, out stink you. And if he doesn’t, you can still point the finger at him. Again, he can’t talk and dispute your story.

4. Dogs are not just great sidekicks but they also make great a really great wingman. If you’re single, you can totally put your dog to work at charming the person you’re interested in. Just make sure that person likes dog drool and dog hair all over everything first.

5. There is never a need for a pillow or extra blanket because your dog will always be willing to get into bed with you and share body heat. Always. Just be forewarned. Being a great sidekick is not the same thing as a good bed partner. They have a habit of being a total bed hog.

***

Thank you so much, Jill for sharing your stories with us! If you have enjoyed Jill’s stories please feel free to show your support in the comments section below and by visiting the other participating websites/blogs…

Read Humane® Blog Tour 2013!

For more information on Read Humane® please visit Penguin Group (USA). To view more special features from spokesperson Jill Shalvis, please visit the following websites/blogs; each website/blog will feature a unique perspective on Read Humane, so be sure to stop by each for a new and exciting experience!

4/29/2013

USA Today’s Happy Ever After

Fresh Fiction

4/30/2013

RT Book Reviews Online

5/1/2013

Happily Ever After Reads

5/2/2013

Teresa's Reading Corner

5/3/2013

The Book Reading Gals

5/4/2013

Book Crack

5/5/2013

Love Romances & More

5/6/2013

Books-N-Kisses

5/7/2013

RT Book Reviews Online

5/8/2013

Cocktails & Books

5/9/2013

The Book Pushers

5/10/2013

Kindles & Wine

5/11/2013

My Book Addiction & More

5/12/2013

5/13/2013

5/14/2013

5/14/2013

5/16/2013

5/16/2013

5/17/2013

Ramblings from a Chaotic Mind

5/18/2013

Romantic Book Affairs

5/19/2013

Ramblings from This Chick

5/20/2013

Under the Covers Book Blog

5/20/2013

The Romance Studio

5/21/2013

Chick Lit Reviews

5/26/2013

The Reading Café

5/27/2013

Sharon's Garden of Book Reviews

5/28/2013

Stuff and Nonsense

5/29/2013

Thoughts in Progress

So TV Doesn't Like YA Novels

mypalamy@gmail.com — Fri, 10 May 2013 00:00:03 PDT

This year two popular YA series landed pilots at the TV networks...Delirium and The Selection. It was the second go around for The Selection, it was actually made into a pilot last year as well and didn't get ordered. We learned this week that neither show, however, was ordered to series.

It's interesting to me for a couple of reasons. One is that the movies are HOT for YA books. I mean obviously you have Harry Potter and Twilight and now The Hunger Games. But Divergent, Ender's Game, Clockwork...whatever, and The Fault in Our Stars (which is not even genre just a contemporary!!) are all in the works. Beautiful Creatures was made into a movie. And we're hearing all the time about progress being made on more projects. I can't even keep up with it all anymore. Some of these are so believed in..such as Divergent, that the studios are already going about getting things ready for the sequels. And some of these movies have major weight talent in them. It's not as if popular YA books translate to instant success, though, Beautiful Creatures sort of bombed, as did Beastly and I Am Number 4 in recent years.

TV is of course a little different. Not much TV is fashioned for teens since they aren't the target demographic for advertisers. And it's true that both of these series, while popular, may not have the same pull as the ones being made into film. Delirium's concept always seemed a bit thin to me in novel form as well. (thought that might change throughout the books I only read the first one) Still I can't help but find it curious that TV is less willing to tap into existing fan bases when attempting to launch shows. I mean one of the most popular shows on TV right now was helped out greatly by already having a loyal fan base in comics. The CW's flagship show, The Vampire Diaries, was also helped by being based on a very popular book series. I mean that's the entire reason I kept watching the show in the beginning was because of loyalty to that series I had loved so much as a preteen. There was excitement and buzz as soon as it was announced. (as well as tons of nostalgia and then shock that Ian was playing Damon, lol)

I feel like The Selection pilot must have been terrible because it seems to me like it should have everything going for it. Based on a moderately successful book series. Hitting that sweet spot of what's popular right now...post-apocalyptic world, life on display, what's real/what's not, even a ridiculous love triangle, and so much more. The Selection had so much potential to be provocative and interesting. I just don't understand how it has failed so much twice.

Delirium almost never had a shot on Fox and looking at their new shows almost makes me want to fall asleep. But you know, the fans of Delirium organized a Twitter campaign to get it on air without even seeing it. I mean...does this count for nothing?

I'm disappointed about The Selection, but what can you do? The CW is moving towards genre shows (despite renewing The Carrie Diaries, a very strange decision to be honest) and for whatever reason The Selection isn't a part of that. And I guess I've outgrown what they are trying to do since none of the new shows sound that great to me.

I would like to see a currently popular YA novel or series be adapted for television, though! I feel like it could really work. How about Level 2?