My Bottom Smarts

Recap:MBS Sunday Brunch for May 20

2012-05-22T18:00:00.000-07:00

Our topic this week was the elements that make excellent spanking fiction. Here are your thoughts.

Joeyred: I enjoy stories that include elements about which I fantasize about as possible scenes. Usually, that would involve a caning for some "misdeed" by a female governess or school head mistress. I want the story to contain most of the traditional elements of a ritual caning such as a punishment book. I want to feel through the words of the author the anxiety of the individual being punished from the setting of the punishment, the waiting period before the punishment, and the details of the caning with a swat by swat description. I expect the experience to be believable and I want to feel empathy for the "victim."

Bob B: I look for a complete, well written story with a good build up, expressively vivid action and descriptive aftermath. A lot of the short stories in old editions of Janus always did it for me. One that stands out for whatever reason was Executive Encounter. If I had to choose one element it would be the final caning with a running commentary of the thought’s going through the recipient's head.

Sunny Girl: I like spanking to be part of the story, but not the story. I like relatable characters and story lines. I don't need a swat by swat description. Even dialogue about a forthcoming spanking is enough. I like what interests me and doesn't go too far out of my comfort zone.

Reece Seever: For me, the lead up is more important than the event. The woman taking charge and dictating what is going to happen. The man's anxious anticipation and genuine fear of that happening. Important elements for me are the exercise of authority by the woman and the man's anxious submission to the inevitable.

Hobbes: I like historical fiction because it can portray a period when corporal punishment was common, the norm even. The characters and dialog are critical to building a believable historical setting and the story is far more important than the spanking itself. There is so much of the mind involved in spanking: the anticipation, the unknown, the tension, the trust, the relationship, contemporary mores, fear, relief, fantasy. So the interior dialog makes for a very good story.

Six of the Best: I like the characters in the story to be believable. Favorites would be office environments, domestic, and uniform. The naughty ladies should wear garter-belt, stockings, girdles, all types of bloomers, and knickers. Implements used on the those naughty ladies include a cane, birchrod, and whip.

Scunge: If they make my bottom tingle, I love them. But as others have said, the stories need to be believable. Historical, age play, school scenes, contemporary, or you name it – I like it as long as it makes my bum tingle. ;)

PK: I enjoy a little spanking with my love story. I want the couples love for each other to be the center of the story. Within that background, I want the man to be protective and to be willing to spank to see that his love stays safe.

Julia: I like to read stories about where I would like DH and I to be. For example, that could include real discipline (including corner time, if necessary). This is very big for me. I love reading stories where she is spanked for real life mistakes, for example a speeding ticket. My favorite author is Carolyn Faulkner, especially The Thornton Brothers Trilogy.

Lea: I mostly enjoy reading things that parallel my own interests, as I sometimes put myself in the place of a character in the story. I like reading the descriptions and backgrounds of the characters and how they are feeling. Writing fiction is tough and I'm not very good at it. But I'm glad that a lot of other people are!

Nick: I like reading about the character's feelings and what they are thinking.

SNP: I like to care about the characters. Spanking scenes are great, but if it is just spanking and sex and no story or likeable characters, then it just rings a little hollow. Real life scenarios have their appeal and so do fantasies.

Sometimes, you want an escape from the world and so something of a fantasy nature fits the bill.
Other times, you relate to the plot in a real way and so that works as well. Being very graphic with lots of bad language is a turn off. There is a balance to strike from being trashy and classy I think.

S: I prefer to read stories that are a little bit edgier than I would actually enjoy in real life. Or a fantasy which I know doesn't really exist in real life (such as a correctional school for misbehaving ladies) because it makes the spanking that occurs very plausible in writing. I prefer the characters to have depth, as the others were saying. It's not just like, "Mary is naughty, so Jake decided to send her away to be spanked." We can actually read what Mary is thinking, her fear or anticipation, and gradual lead-up to the actual punishment.

I do think I like reading about punishment scenarios more than erotic. For me, it can only be erotic if it's with my own partner, not reading about two other people. I don't like swat by swat dialogue simply because there are only so many ways to write "Ouch!" and I have read many a good story where they aren't explicitly written out, but I could still tell that the character was being spanked well. LOL

S.N.M.: For me, it's all of the above. As a reader and writer of spanking stories, I value characters, creativity, humor, and eroticism, all seamlessly intermixed.

Characters: A likeable, dynamic protagonist with entertaining supporting characters is critical to any story, spanking or otherwise. I like it best when the protagonist is coming to grips with their love of spanking, or learning more about it at least.

Creativity: So much spanking fiction is just slight variations on the familiar school/blackmail/domestic discipline themes. I always value the story that comes up with a really creative reason for a spanking to take place. An outlandish setting or surreal context can also make the story more memorable, provided it doesn't alienate the reader.

Humor: Okay, spanking fetishes are silly. Stop looking at me like that. It's true. Wanting to be hit on the butt is hilarious and ridiculous, and there's no reason to pretend otherwise. In spanking stories, therefore, I like to go all out and play the comedy to its hilt. Spanking and satire make an amazing combination.

Eroticism: For me, spanking is sexual, and I like my spanking fiction to have at least an undercurrent of sensuality. The characters don't necessarily have to do it, but there needs to be sexual tension, and possibly the suggestion of future or past sexual events. I also like sexy descriptions of the human body (certain parts of it in particular).

Saoirse: This is a wonderful question for me as both a writer and a reader! I agree with much that has been said. I see the humor in everything - including spanking, so I really appreciate humor in stories. I also need well developed characters and a plot. I am much more interested in feelings and development of characters than swat by swat. The tension, which makes me want to keep reading, doesn't come from simply actions. This week, I'm reading The Point of it All by Jade Carey. My husband wants me to read everything she has written... and that should make it perfectly clear how I feel about the book!

Dragon's Rose: I like a story I can connect with. I prefer something based on real life that I can see playing out in my own home. When the spanking is overly severe or is too fantasy-based, I'm done.

Make Mine Red: I am an avid reader and I like to read a lot of different things. Many different scenarios interest me, but not if it's really far-fetched or too severe. And even though I'm not really into either punishment or BDSM much, I enjoy stories that touch on those subjects as well. I just finished the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy and I loved it!

A-Non: I agree with all of the comments above. Everything in the story has to be believable, even if it is not realistic. For example, the scene could be a public spanking (which would not happen in today's world), but every detail still has to seem as if it could happen, at least in some communities.

Speaking of detail, I like details, but each detail should be relevant to the characters and their thoughts, etc.

I like a nice setup where I learn who these people are and why she's getting spanked and how each person feels about spanking. A few swats with her reaction are good, but then I prefer a summary of the rest.

One final thing, the grammar must be impeccable. A single "Your going to get it" will ruin the mood for me.

Hermione: I prefer punishment stories involving a mature schoolgirl or schoolboy who commits some misdemeanor or breaks a rule and is punished by the principal or teacher of the opposite sex. Other scenarios like naughty maid/footman and strict butler/housekeeper are also fun to read, as are stories where the ages of the two are closer, but there must be an authoritative figure. I don't care about a complicated plot but it should be realistic and believable as a framework within which to set the spanking. The punishment must be delivered because of a true violation of some rule or standard. It's always nice when there is some humour, and a plot twist or surprise ending is a bonus. Reading about the emotions that the victim experiences - the anxiety and anticipation beforehand, the anguish during, and the relief after - is more important to me than a blow by blow account of each smack.

Prefectdt: I like spanking fiction that shows imagination and weaves spanking action periodically throughout an interesting story. Highly fantastic or very close to reality and everything in between is great. It is the quality of the story and writing that really counts. I'm a bit tired of reading about rich spankos, nothing against this, it is just a bit overdone and getting a bit tired. More books about middle and working class spankos please.

Kitty: I like spanking stories that would never occur in my real day-to-day life. Also, I don't want spanking to be the main part of the story... more of an appetizer to the main entree of a love story.

Playful Little Brat: I love spanking stories that I can relate to. These are stories that seem real and something I could see really happening. I also like a buildup to the spanking, and seeing some character development is great because it helps you relate and also feel for the characters in the story.

SpankCake: +1 regarding the note on grammar!

Ana: I like different things when I'm writing and reading spanking stories.

As a writer: I love stories that are unexpected, don't follow a formula, and leave my reader walking away feeling comforted or learning something about their real life that they'd never thought of before. I want them to be very real characters that you come to care about. I also want my main characters, the girls who get spanked, not to be self-centered and using the spanking just as a way to get what they want. So I strive to write spanking story relationships that show a balance...not just one person taking all the time (discipline, spanking, advice, mentoring) from the other.

As a reader: I love me a good F/F story. :) I will read and enjoy others, but how can I not most love what I do?

I dislike the Mad Lib type of story. I mean: A _ (adjective) girl goes to _ (place) and does _ (misbehavior). She does _(avoiding behavior) to try to get out of it, but _(authority figure) tells her sternly that she must _ (adverb) do _ (misbehavior) again. So the _(authority figure) spanks her _ (adverb) with a _(spanking implement) _ (number) times and removes _ (article of clothing) and warns her to never do it again. She sends her to the corner for _ (number) minutes, gives her a hug, and they live happily ever after.

As someone who writes, I love reading a story that has intelligence, wit, humor, and a very real character who makes me cheer for her. I don't like to read about someone who brats and gets her come-uppance. I like to read about someone who is "real" to me and someone I can support. Someone I would want as a friend.

SpankCake: Some of my favorite stories include an element of non-consent where during the scene the spankee gives into the joys of being spanked and then perhaps tries to hide it from her spanker, is discovered and then they engage in some crazy hot sex. Other spanking stories are swell, too. ;)

Ronnie: I like my stories to have a mix of things - spanking of course, humour, eroticism and the characters have to be believable.

fB: I prefer stories with more depth. If I can relate to a character, that's all the better. I also enjoy when someone puts effort into a setting and atmosphere. So often, stories are quick and only involve the basics, at least as far as I've seen.

If you can make it so that I can feel as though I'm in the room, it'll be a story I love. Let me hear, smell, see, and touch through words. Let at least one of the characters share their point of view so I can have a human to relate with.

I'm willing to read both believable and unbelievable stories, as long as they can pull me into their world. Otherwise, I find myself bored with simple actions.

Cara Bristol: Spanking fiction is a subject near and dear to my author heart...

What makes a good spanking story for me (and what I try to incorporate in my writing) are the feelings and motivations of the characters. The buildup of tension and the anticipation or dread that occurs before a spanking are key to making a compelling story.

In fiction, I like to experience the dynamics of the power differential of disciplinary spankings, but also enjoy the sexual aspect of erotic ones, so I want to read/write about both -- but not in the same spanking. A disciplinary spanking shouldn't be fun.

Sublime Wifey: I like spanking stories in which the characters are well developed and I know the motivation and thoughts of the Dom and sub (and I like all my spanking stories to be D/s). They can be detailed in the erotica if they are also detailed in the character development. But spanking and erotic just for the sake of titillation is not for me. I think I like to explore the reasons for my own predilections and so I read these stories to see what other writers, spankos, Doms and subs are thinking. I also like stories that push my personal boundaries just a bit, allowing me to imagine myself going just beyond my limits.

Daisy: For me, I like a real life story, a believable, credible story, with real, true-to-life characters and a situation I could see myself and Davey in. In other words, as I read, I like to be able to imagine that we are the characters in the story.

I read other stories, and smile/admire the writing style, but I like to lose myself in a book, be swallowed up in it, and live it!

Bonnie: I agree with a lot of the previous responses. I love a romance, but kinky play can be equally satisfying if presented tastefully. A ritual punishment is thrilling, but so is a gentle, tentative first time. Above all, I am drawn to well defined scenarios and memorable characters.

As an occasional writer of spanking fiction, I find that strong characters sometimes write the story themselves and not always as I originally intended. My one act play, The Spanking Booth, was like that. I believe there is no better way to ensure that characters seem authentic than to regard them as real people.

Thanks for joining us! See you next weekend.

MBS Spanko Brunch #331

2012-05-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody, and happy weekend! Here's what I hope will be a fun question...

When reading a fictional spanking story, what sort of story elements appeal to you? Do you like themes that closely parallel your real life interests or do you prefer to explore different scenarios? Do you enjoy detailed descriptions of the characters, their motivations and feelings, dialogue, setting, and/or swat by swat action? How important is it for you that the characters be believable?

To join our brunch conversation, just enter your response below in the form of a comment. If you choose not to create an account, anonymous comments are permitted. I will post an edited summary at the end of the weekend.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for May 13

2012-05-13T18:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to all of our mothers out there!

Our topic this week was the proposition that spanking was a kind of a “gateway drug” for more intense forms of BDSM. As you can see, we had a great discussion. Here's what you had to say.

PK: Oh, maybe, just a little. Before we began spanking, I would have been shocked if Nick had wanted to use cuffs or to tie me to the bed for an occasional play session. We never even used a blindfold before, so I think spanking could lead to some tentative exploration. I don't, however, think it would lead every spanko to hardcore BDSM.

morningstar: My initial reaction was a resounding NO...

BUT then thinking about it, I compared my early days of spanking with where I am now. Following the hypothesis of spanking being a gateway, I had to stop and think, "Maybe."

But then I argued (I do love to debate with myself) that if I didn't like spanking, or the pain from it, I would not have craved more and therefore would not have had any desire to explore further.

SO – No, I do not believe that spanking is a gateway to anything more intense. The person/personality is the gateway.

Joeyred: I think that spanking is an entry point for many people, although I think using handcuffs is a close second.

Many people I know in the scene started with spanking and then became more interested in other aspects of BDSM such as rope bondage, flogging, etc.

I know that it is true for me. Spanking has been the gateway. The group I belong to, SCONY, is a conservative entry point for people. Their focus is just spanking with strict protocols, use of safe words, etc. The club helped me get started in the scene and that initial experience has helped me to meet people and explore other aspects of BDSM.

So, I definite say yes for me.

Abby: For me, yes, for others it depends. I started off just wondering and wanting a spanking. That first spanking (and Master) has led me down the BDSM path, one I never would have expected to travel.

Julia: No, I really don't think spanking naturally leads to more heavy aspects of BDSM unless that is what the people involved choose!

Sarah Thorne: I guess it CAN be. I mean, it makes sense that someone who fantasizes about extreme BDSM but have never experienced the reality of such would start out with something they might consider more mild and build up from there.

But as an absolute? Of course not. There are people who simply like spanking and that's it. They have no other interest in anything else beyond that.

Ana: Not for me, but maybe for others. Even after this many years, I still struggle with just being spanked. If anything, I've gotten more conservative and more resistant to more "severe" things. It must be self-preservation instincts kicking in. :)

And if it is a gateway drug to people finding out other things they like, why not? It's like saying the children's book _Dick and Jane_ is a gateway drug to later reading and enjoying _War and Peace_. (It probably is!).

Hermione: For me, it was just the reverse. I have always been interested in spanking and sometimes wondered about taking things further. But the more I learn about other BDSM practices, mainly from reading blogs like the ones you mention, the more I know I don't want any part of it. There is much more that turns me off than the reverse. I am quite content to limit myself to spanking and its considerable variety, and to exploring options within that sphere.

Rod: No, I don't think so. My kink has remained at pretty much the same level for years. I guess that's pretty tame by some BDSM standards. On the other hand, I do sometimes have to keep the sadism in my blog's stories in check - not too many strokes, not too much humiliation. A lot of my stories weave a little nostalgia and humour into the plot, and I don't think this is really compatible with BDSM... unless you know otherwise of course?

Make Mine Red: I can say at least for me the answer is no. I am thoroughly turned on by spanking, but yet completely turned off by anything extreme. That even includes extreme spanking. I like the sting, the warmth, the pink/red coloring, strap marks and stripes of a good spanking, but absolutely do not like to see bruising or breaking of the skin. I've always liked spanking, but have never been tempted to enter the world of rough/extreme BDSM.

Daisy: No, I don't think so, either. Although extreme forms of spanking can be found in BDSM, so can extreme forms of sex. Using that argument, it could be said that sex leads as a gateway drug to BDSM too!

I think maybe those curious about BDSM start out with the milder forms such as master/slave type sex, handcuffs, spanking, and gentle bondage to experiment before going further. But they are already interested in BDSM. Many of us "into" spanking, or in DD marriages, are simply NOT wired up in any way to BDSM and have no interest at all.

Old Fashioned Girl: No, it's not a gateway to my way of thinking. If it is, I've been waiting to go through for a long, long time. My sort of spanko thing is as different to most of what I've seen/know of BDSM as chalk and cheese.

Todd and Suzy: Obviously it depends, but generally speaking, we'd say it is at least a gateway to ~exploring~ other aspects of BDSM. Overcoming the stigma that society places on kink can be a real challenge, but once that is done it very often opens the mind to trying new things.

Of course, sometimes exploring doesn't end up going much of anywhere and the focus remains on spanking.

It's pretty hard to imagine someone being opened minded enough to try and ultimately get something positive from spanking, but then being unwilling to try other aspects of kink. Not that it doesn't happen. We know people that are strictly spankos and that is that. We honestly think that is rare though.

"I like being spanked" -so- why not try being tied up an being spanked? or a Master/slave role play that involves spanking? or spanking followed by anal play? or spanking and toys? etc-etc. That strikes us as a common progression.

Sunny Girl: It think it is a line in the sand that can be blurred by the wind. I like spanking. Handcuffs and blind folds can be very hot. Fantasy role play is a turn on. Master/slave in romance stories are hot, but in real life, not so much. I like anal play and never thought I would be saying that. Thus, my theory is that if you don't try it, you will never know. I have even blurred some of my hard limits, but there are others that are steadfast. I think if the proclivity for BDSM is there, spanking could be the gateway. If not, I don't think so.

Kat: It isn't a gateway to BDSM for me personally. The *only* place I like pain is on my bottom. Pain anywhere else has always flatlined my desire instantly (which confuses and fascinates the heck out of my husband and me), but a spanking, for some reason, really does it for me.

I like heat. I like the little marks afterward, but I've never been really and truly marked up. The kind of surface bruising I get sometimes is completely gone in three days, max.

BDSM is *such* a different world than a red bottom. Just because a D/s relationship usually starts with a spanking does not make spanking the main focus (top marks to Ana on the reading analogy, above). I'm not into damage, nor am I into being being brought to the edge and held there indefinitely, which is a staple in BDSM play. And I sure don't need 'discipline' for my faults. We may role-play, but it's in good fun.

Also, I don't consider blindfolds and restraints as strictly BDSM items. Liking to be restrained or a bit of sensory deprivation is so mild a kink that it's almost silly. The mental aspects of BDSM, which at its simplest is nothing more than maintaining a state of erotic torment, cannot be ignored. Liking to be spanked doesn't usually cause someone to be suddenly open to a whole lifestyle unless they were already predisposed.

Vanille: For me personally, a collar and leash were the 'gateway drug.' However, I definitely believe that bare-handed spanking can be a good starting point for someone new if that's what they think they'd be interested in. Then as they come down the line, they find out they like canes, floggers or whips and other BDSM activities, like perhaps waxplay or bloodplay.

JJ: I think it depends on who you are. If you are already a spanko at heart or someone who is already (even subconsciously) interested in BDSM without even knowing, then spanking could open your eyes to something you maybe never knew you were interested in. However, I don't think every spanko or every person who practices spanking is going to be interested in BDSM unless they already "lean that way" for lack of a better term.

Indy: Well, first off, I certainly don't buy the assumption in some BDSM circles that spanking is a phase we go through before learning about real BDSM.

Nonetheless, this is an interesting question. I think it depends a bit on how you've come into spanking. Following the gateway drug analogy, I'm guessing that there's a lower barrier to go from marijuana to harder drugs if you're already going to a drug dealer to buy your weed than if you're reliably supplied by your lovable hippie uncle who grows it in his backyard.

Similarly, I'd think that, if one's spanking play is exclusively within a primary relationship, the mere act of engaging in spanking doesn't necessarily lead to trying more, though I suspect that most couples into spanking experiment with at least blindfolds and light bondage.

On the other hand, there is something about finding a rightness through engaging in one taboo activity that can lead us to try more things. This is especially the case for those of us who have entered this world through spanking parties. In that case, you're likely to meet other people who are into more hard-core BDSM activities and even to see some of those activities publicly.

For me, I think it also matters that I feel very close to some of the people I've met in the spanking scene. It's a bit odd having a second life that way, and I suspect that the accompanying feeling of otherness also makes it easier be more unconventional. I'm certainly more open to unorthodox partnerships and more casual sexual play than I would have been before I participated in this community. That's not because I feel any pressure to engage in those activities at parties; it's more that spanking desires seem to make relationships more complicated. So I see nothing strange about a couple in which one partner is always the sub within the relationship, but fulfills his or her need to top with another partner.

I've really only ever had spanking fantasies, so I'm not all that drawn to the activities of the BDSM scene. My impression is also that the BDSM scene takes itself a little more seriously than the spanking scene does, and that would be a bit hard for me. On the other hand, the BDSM scene seems to me to be more honest about the sexual nature of these activities and less homophobic than the spanking scene. So, in some ways, I feel like I'm in between the two cultures.

fB: No. Actually, it was the other way around for me. When I first became active with my husband, we tried everything. I thought for the longest time that I liked the BDSM culture. Over time, I discovered this is not true. I just like spankings. Add a little bit of dominance in the spanking setup and I'm good. But all that other stuff we tried together was not so much fun.

CurtisG: Not for me. Depending on the partner, I find spanking playful, sensual, erotic and/or sexual. The attraction to it is sexual and ultimately relationship oriented. But BDSM essentially is a turn-off for me, as is severe spanking, punishment and discipline. But that's one person's likes and desires. I'm not judgmental about others.

Simon: I think it very much depends on the people involved. Some people are happy with a simple spanking and other aren't. Personally, I was happy with moderate CP practices for years and hadn't really considered venturing into BDSM until I met my current partner. Since I trust her completely, I have been open to new experiences with her. Under her tutelage, I have undergone many new things which I would never have envisioned when starting out. Some I enjoyed and others I hated, but I wouldn't have tried any of them if not for my original interest in spanking.

So for me, it definitely was a gateway into the more extreme areas of BDSM. Everyone is individual so for some, spanking will lead onto other adventures while for others, it won't. What would perhaps be just as interesting is whether anyone who is into serious BDSM play arrived there immediately. Most of the practitioners I've met (admittedly, not that many) started out as I did with corporal punishment play and moved into the more extreme stuff from there.

Six of the Best: On a different subject called Mother's Day... Rose's are Red, Violet's are Blue. May you receive a good spanking, From a husband that's true. Happy Mother's Day.

Thank you, Six

Spanky: For us, it has to some extent. Spanking is still the main focus, but we've discovered other fun activities as a result. We're still exploring.

Our Bottoms Burn: I smiled when I read "rougher BDSM activities". Let me assure you that not many in the smorgasbord BDSM camp would take a spanking like many of us enjoy. So much of the BDSM activities are more like magic, mostly show, little pain.

Kaelah: I don't think that for me spanking is a gateway to rougher BDSM activities. I am into spanking and into some other BDSM activities like back-whippings, blindfolds, restraints, power play and certain sexual practises. I started out with spanking because it is not only one of my core kinks, but also less closely linked to intimate sexual activities than some of the other things I am interested in. That's why I explored the other BDSM activities later than spanking, at a time when I had found my mate and became open for more intimate play. The same is true for vanilla sex, and I wouldn't call spanking a gateway for that, either. ;-)

One valid point, though, is in my opinion that being in the spanking and BDSM community made me come across things that I might not have considered trying otherwise. That's how being a part of the spanking community in my view can act as a kind of "gateway" for further explorations. These can be purely spanking-related explorations or wider BDSM-related explorations. In my opinion, that depends on one's personal preferences and the question how open one is for variety. Some people are just interested in spanking and draw a strict line when it comes to the wider field of BDSM.

I think that I, for example, don't draw a line as much between spanking and BDSM when it comes to my kink, as I draw a line between sexual fun and lifestyle. I only practise spanking and all the other activities I'm interested in either as sexual play with my mate or as fun play between friends. A relationship with a permanent power dynamic is not what I am interested in. So, I am neither open for a real-life spanking DD relationship, nor for a 24/7 BDSM master-slave relationship.

Funnily, I wouldn't call the "BDSMy" things that I engage in "rougher" than my spanking play, anyway. As a matter of fact, I think the spanking play is the roughest part of it all.

Loki Darksong: For me, it was the opposite. Being an S/Mer led me to the spanking community, when it took form in the late nineties. It did present more opportunities for fun and was less imposing than say asking someone who is new to try and play with a flogger.

Now I do love both, S/M and spanking. Both have given me a wide range of options for fun, for drama, and for magic.

Amigo Spanko: Not necessarily. The spanking has its own life. For many devotees, it is even a lifestyle.

Welcome, Amigo!

Jim: I started with hand spanking. That's like drinking a 3% beer. I moved on to hairbrushes, straps, and paddles. 5% lager packs a stronger punch. Canes now, they are like fine wines – some are like champagne at 14%. Beer, wines, and champagne are all I have in my drink cabinet. I won't have whiskey, nor whips or chains. So there has been a progression, but it has been within circumscribed limits.

Prefectdt: I have dabbled my toes in the BDSM world. Although I had some fun the experiences, they left me knowing that I was a spanko at heart.

Although a lot of play can cross over from one to the other, I think that we are talking about two distinct cultural kinky groups.

I think that spanko experiences can be a jump off point for someone who is really a BDSMer, but the other way around, BDSM can be an introduction to the kinkosphere for someone who is more naturally a spanko. So on a technical level the answer is a yes (IMHO), but I think that sooner or later people will gravitate toward the group (or groups) to which they truly belong.

The play may have similarities, but the mentalities are different and both groups can act as gateways to each other.

Mistress Nichole: I would have to say a big resounding NO! That may sound strange coming from someone like me, living a M/s life, to say no. But actually, M/s led to spanking and a random take on the 1950's household, but it most certainly has not, nor ever will, lead me to some of the crazy BDSM stuff out there.

Bonnie: I question the notion of a gateway drug, at least as it applies to spanking. I think each of us possesses unique interests and desires. There is no single path or even a preferred path. We experience life as it happens. Our choices are shaped when our natural inclinations mix with real world opportunities.

For me, being a spanking enthusiast is not a milestone on the road to somewhere else, but a worthy destination in its own right.

Thanks, everyone, for the great turn-out and fascinating responses. See you next weekend!

MBS Spanko Brunch #330

2012-05-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

In my continuing search for great new spanking blogs, I encounter blogs that aren't quite the spanko goodness I seek, but interesting nonetheless. While perusing one such kinky blog, I encountered an author who advanced the theory that spanking was a sort of gateway drug to extreme BDSM activities.

Do you think that spanking serves as a "gateway drug" to rougher BDSM activities? Why or why not?

As always, anyone with a relevant opinion is welcome to participate in our brunch. Simply enter your response in the form of a comment below. At the end of the weekend, I will post an edited summary of our conversation.

In with the New: Graduation Edition

2012-05-08T18:00:00.000-07:00

Here's another healthy dose of new spanking-oriented blogs to explore!

Bobb's Room

Domestic Discipline Photoblog

I've Been Naughty

Journey to Domestic Discipline

Naughtily Ever After

Spank Amber Photoblog

Spankfully Mine (F/F)

Spanking: The Good, the Bad and the Pleasurable

Spanking Theatre

Sweet Submissive Wife

The Discipline of a Naughty Irish Imp

Legend

General Spanking
Photos/Videos
Model/Industry
DD Blogs
Authors/Stories
Ds/BDSM Blogs

To these new members of our community, I bid you welcome. If you would like some blogging tips and suggestions, try these. In any case, we're very glad you're here!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for May 6

2012-05-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

Our topic this week was dealing with delayed or interrupted spankings. Here are your thoughts.

Sunny Girl: I usually get witchier the longer it is postponed.

Julia: If I know the reason why it is postponed, I am fine to wait for it. And DH will spank me, no matter what. If I don't know the reason and think he forgot, then I get really bitchy because I think he doesn't care about me and simply forgot. Just writing this, it sounds stupid to behave that way...

Suzie: We try not to put off a spanking for more than 24 hours because apparently I get really edgy. He's planned to spank me, but hasn't told me so that I wouldn't fret over it.

Mistress Nichole: When a spanking has to be postponed, I know it's my responsibility to remember to do it later. It's not good for P, though, because she becomes more and more unstable the longer she has to wait.

My only advice is (if possible) give a timeframe for the spanking. P is never a hundred percent, but she's better knowing when it will happen.

Her mindset is always fine when we come back to it. It's mine that needs adjusting. The longer the wait, the less-inclined I am to do the thing up right.

Welcome to you both!

Hermione: We are both firm believers in routine, so a scheduled spanking is rarely missed. But if, due to circumstances beyond our control, it doesn't take place, then we always reschedule it to another convenient time in the not-too-distant future.

Reece Seever: Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your perspective, when the appointed day for a spanking comes and goes, it may be a week or more before there is another. Given the general pace of life, the opportunities for time alone for Anne to "take care of business" don't come along with great regularity.

Jean Marie: The only reason my spankings have been postponed in the past is because we've been in public. This has happened on several occasions. Each time, my lover has whispered the threat of baring me right then and there and punishing me in front of others. My head knows that he's too modest to do this, but my libido does not. The prospect gets me so excited that every little look from him makes me short of breath. An innocent little butt-pat makes me tingle. By the time we do get down to business, I'm REALLY into it, and randy as hell immediately afterward.

Melly: When it comes to erotic spankings there's rarely a need for it to be postponed. It's simply the heat of the moment. As for discipline spankings, sometimes they do need to be postponed because either we are away from one another (texting, etc), our child is around, we are in public, etc. When a spanking has to be postponed, it drives me crazy. I am on complete edge. I just want to get it over with NOW. I don't like the anticipation of waiting for one, especially when I know its for punishment and I have disappointed my Sir. I prefer to have the slate wiped and be reset right away.

When the time comes, we are both good at getting into the mindset though. Actually, if anything now that I think of it, I probably submit better because I have had time to think about it and I really know I deserve it and I just want the slate wiped.

Welcome back, Melly. It's great to see you again!

Joeyred: If we miss a spanking, we wait until a time when we can both be emotionally in the right headspace for the spanking.

Susie: We simply reschedule for the next day if possible. There are often times when having others around don't make it possible to take care of things when we want to. It does cause me angst, but I decided a while ago that like everything else in a messy life, we are grown ups and we have to act like it. Sometimes that means waiting and it can be a good thing at times. When we finally get some alone time together we are both more resolved.

morningstar: Because of our current living situation - regular spankings - scheduled spankings - are just not on our agendas.

And right now with W busier than a one armed paper hanger, I have no idea when the next one will happen. Hell, I don't even see a blip of one on my radar. To be honest, it makes me very cranky and then angry with myself because I KNOW that if a spanking was possible, it would happen.

So I hang on by my fingernails until an hour or so can be found for "us." Then all is right with the world again.

Ronnie: P knows I get edgy when a spanking is postponed, so he always tries to make sure it happens within a day or two. He never forgets that I'm due a spanking.

Playful Little Brat: My disciplinarian isn't someone I see on a daily basis or anything like that, so spankings/punishments don't take place on the spot (except for a few occasions) and they usually have to be postponed for a little bit. This can be irritating because it's something you want to be over and done with so the slate can be clean. But I think the most important part is knowing that there is consistency there so that it will take place when it can. It'd be worse to question whether or not it will take place at all.

Bonnie: As I mentioned in the introduction, I can be impatient when a much needed spanking is denied due to real world intrusions. I don't fuss at Randy (it's not his fault) so much as I fidget. I am sure it will happen, just not when sometimes.

Randy, for his part, assures me in small ways. For example, when we had a house guest recently, he signaled his intentions by leaving a certain curved handled wooden brush on the nightstand. Innocent it was to a vanilla, but to me, this signal was unmistakable.

In most cases, we return quite naturally to a proper mindset after an interruption. Once I take my place across his lap, my mind and body are focused upon the here and now.

Thanks, everyone, for joining our brunch celebration! See you next weekend.

MBS Spanko Brunch #329

2012-05-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome to our weekly community conversation. This time, we're going to talk about spankings. Imagine that!

I consider myself an emotionally balanced person for the most part. I can manage a lot of different life situations as needs arise. But I hate to wait, especially for a spanking.

When the demands of daily life cause spankings to be interrupted or postponed, how do you and your partner cope with these unplanned schedule changes? Have you any advice for getting back into the right mindset at a later time? Or is the opportunity simply lost?

To join our discussion, please enter your response in the form of a comment below. At the end of the weekend, I will post an edited summary.

Better, Not Perfect

2012-05-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

A while back, I described the problems I was having with blogrolls in Blogger. The short version is that I could no longer update the main blogroll. Nor could I replace it. I made do as best I could, but it was not a good situation. I know many MBS readers rely upon the chronological blogroll to stay up to date. That's why I've been so eager for a fix these past three months.

This week, along comes Blogger and they decide to take a whack at fixing several of these blogroll problems. They seem to have repaired several nasty bugs, but left one in so we can all feel nostalgic. Before January, there was no limit to the number of links permitted in a blogroll. With the coming of the new white interface, a limit of about 160 was imposed without warning. I think it was a bug. This week, the limit was apparently raised to about 295. I still think this is a bug.

So, here we are, with better tools than last week but not as good as last year. My solution, at least for now, is to split the chronological blogroll into two parts (A-M and N-Z). It's not great, but it's better.

Update: With timely advice from Hermione, I was able to create one complete, unified blogroll. I was absolutely delighted right up until I accidentally deleted it all! Now I have to manually enter 488 links again. Ugh!

Update #2: Everything is now as it should be at long last! Thanks to everyone who offered technical advice and moral support. Believe me, I needed it!

In a bizarre footnote to today's festivities, after I had spent hours re-entering nearly five hundred links into a new blogroll, the one I thought I had deleted mysteriously reappeared. Suddenly, I had two of them, nearly identical, but not quite. I arbitrarily decided to keep the later version, once I deduced which that was.

...and for any of the Blogger development team who happen to be wandering through - Stop laughing, you sadistic nerds!

In with the New: Hooray, It's May Edition

2012-05-01T18:00:00.000-07:00

For everyone who loves spanking-oriented blogs, here's a dozen more to explore and enjoy!

A Kinky Kind of Fairytale

Alex in Spankingland Photoblog

Bright Bottom Photoblog

My Personal Thinking Spot

Naughty Little Lamb

PTL's World

Spanking Fantasies

Legend

General Spanking
Photos/Videos
Model/Industry
DD Blogs
Authors/Stories
Ds/BDSM Blogs

To these new members of our community, I bid you welcome. If you would like some blogging tips and suggestions, try these. In any case, we're very glad you're here!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Apr 29

2012-04-29T18:00:00.000-07:00

This week we tried something a little different by inviting brunch participants to share a short spanking story. As you can see below, the results are nothing short of stupendous.

Ana:

Once upon a time, a sweet and lovely girl named Ana was trying to do her homework. Her head ached, she was tired from too many all-nighters, and she was annoyed with all of the demands of school. She decided to go out and play instead. Unfortunately, the next day her teacher chose to give a surprise quiz based on the homework. Ana failed miserably. She got a sound spanking when she arrived back home and swore to herself to never get caught again without her homework completed... or at least to learn how to cheat. But that's a story for another day.

The very well-spanked, bright-red end. :)

Joeyred:

My naked body shivers in the corner of the cool room as my mind wanders to the events of the morning that put me in this place. How could I oversleep on such an important day? Her surprised and stern look when I awoke her a mere twenty minutes late made me shutter, but not as much as the text message that arrived telling me she had missed her meeting or the next message instructing me to be in position with the heavy cane on the bed when she returned.

She enters the room and commands me to bend over. I hear her heavy breathing and the swish of the cane. Stroke after burning stroke burns my skin. My legs begin to shake from the searing pain. Perspiration drips from my brow and burns my eyes as the relentless stinging swats find their mark. I hear the cane drop and she leaves without a word.

Xantu: I meet him at the door, on my knees, forehead pressed firmly to the floor; as is the daily requirement. But today is different. Today is his birthday and I have been busy; flowers, wrapped presents, gourmet dinner, his favorite dress pooling around my knees.

He leaves me there, kneeling, silent but quivering with pent up excitement. He rumbles with pleasure.

He returns and stands over me. I shiver as he slowly lifts up my skirt and slides my panties down.

As his first blow lands, he begins to count.

I remember the surprise. "Hey, its your birthday, not mine!"

Hermione:

The path curved through the woods, deeper and deeper, stopping at a clearing where moss covered the ground. Sunshine spilled through the branches onto a grey stone bench, lichen-covered and weather-beaten. Mist descended, swirled and parted to reveal a young man in uniform seated on the bench, holding a girl by the hand. He guided her over his lap; printed skirt raised, panties lowered in an instant. Sounds of slaps mingled with laughter and murmured endearments. Red bottom, red cheeks, red painted nails gripping the stone. Then red lips pressed together urgently as teardrops stained the moss.

“Remember me when I am gone.”

The mist swirled again and vanished. The bench stood empty in the sunlight.

Joeyred: @Hermione, brilliant.

Grace:

When I close my eyes, I still picture the evening you made me stand with my hands entwined above my head facing the wall. There is a mirror there to reflect upon, watch my face as your hand slaps my bottom, a forceful caress, your remonstrations each time your palm connects with my naked flesh. I observe my detached reflection, my lips in a silent circle of ouch and, ahh, the frown on my forehead as my bottom bounces under your firm hand. The tears cascade over my eyelids coursing a track down my cheeks to drip from my chin.

I gently sob as I promise to change my ways. But we know I never will, because I also know you so well my love. There is a deception, a slight of hand, and you are cross with me, but my instincts tell me more. I see the smile behind your eyes, your kind and gentle nature betrays you and you fall under my spell so easily when I silently ask, in my secret way. We keep our secret selves locked away so tightly in a Pandora’s box that calls to me in the darkness and the light. I am driven to open it. And so I remember our eyes meeting in the mirrored reflection, a fleeting glimpse, my shy smile confirming our complicity in the knowledge that I will always return to that secret Pandora’s Box of ecstasy.

Saoirse: That was beautiful, Hermione!

Daisy:

I had really tried. I was respectful, loving, and attentive. Really, I was. But, well... Something was missing. Fun? Banter? I couldn't work it out.

Then after breakfast one morning, he hugged me close and led me to the couch. Sitting down, he gently pulled me over his lap. I was surprised, and asked, "What have I done?"

"Nothing, my love, you have been wonderful," he replied, "and now I am going to give you a good girl spanking!"

He began spanking me with his hand. These were stinging, but not unbearable swats. All the while, he told me how much he loved me and appreciated my attitude, my behaviour, and my efforts to make him comfortable. I loved it! It was like a reward for being good and it brought back THE SPARK. Yes, the sexual tension was back in full force. I felt sexy and alive and excited. After the spanking finished, we moved on to other equally delightful activities...

Kat:

“It sounds like you were” – spank – “forgetting” – spank – “who’s” – spank – “in” – spank – “charge.”

The spanks he’s delivering now no longer feel playful. And he’s going on.

“It sounds like you were telling me what to do.” Wow. This is a first. There's fire on my behind with every slap.

“No, James.” I answer him because I know I have to, but every part of me screams out not to say a word that might make him stop. I finally feel like I’m getting spanked now! My bottom is burning with every smack, and I’m getting so hot from it that I can’t breathe.

A'marie: I love this idea, Bonnie. I loved reading all these little stories. Perfect, and so much fun! :)

There's a tipping point, a moment in time when I know I've gone too far, but I can't stem the cascade of words tumbling out of my mouth. Your pursed lips are an unheeded warning. The momentary satisfaction of my tirade has me throwing common sense out the window.

You say nothing, but your hands move to your waist and I hear the rustle of a slender leather belt being pulled from its loops. Some days, this might leave me instantly penitent. Today, my penitence comes at a price.

My smile is tinged with defiance as I shimmy out of my jeans, leaving them in a heap on the floor. Your silence continues as I drape myself across the bed.

Moving to the side of the bed, your hand snakes into my hair, pulling my head back. I turn my face slightly to meet your gaze.

"That little display of petulance was uncalled for."

I sense the backwards movement of your hand, and a moment later the belt cracks across my bottom with an intensity that surprises me. It is followed by a dozen or more quick, hard strokes. I remember why I hate this belt, the thin, whippy feel of it. I grit my teeth and bury my face in the covers. Penitence is still several dozen strokes away.

Six of the Best:

There was my wife, my daughter, and mother-in -law, all standing in the corner, with their red blushing bare bottoms on view. For I had just given all three of them a good spanking on their naked rear ends, for coming home late, and each consuming too much liquor at a party.

Bonnie:

Oh nine thirty... Mark

Load and initialize Jennifer subroutine F

Roger

Set level three

Level three, sir

Confirm physical positioning and restraints

Confirmed

Engage standard warm up sequence

Sequence initiated

“Ow! What kind of warm-up is that? Yeow!”

Proceed with ramp up to level three with 120 second logarithmic phase in

Ramping now

“Ach! That really hurts...”

Approaching level three... Mark

Sustain at level three for 180 seconds

Sustaining, sir

“Oooo. Aaaeeeee! Ow!”

180 seconds... Mark

Bypass standard ramp out and go to full shutdown

Shutting down, sir

Disarm and release all restraints

Disarmed now. Restraints are open.

“Stupid robots. You take the fun out of everything!”

Anon:
I had never been spanked until theday when my boy friend I and were arguing about some trivia. I said, "I know I'm right."

"So do I," he said. "All right, I'll bet you fifty pounds I'm right?"

"I can't afford that much."

"All right then, if you're right, you get the fifty, but if you're wrong, you get a good spanking."

I gasped in surprise, and said, "OK then, but I know my bottom's quite safe."

We went back to the house where a book quickly proved that he was right. He grinned happily as my rear end tingle nervously. He sat down and patted his lap."Over you go then, love."

I tried to delay matters, but got a firm, "Now!" I laid myself across his strong thighs, my thin stretch jeans hugging my ample bottom. I felt his hand on their zip.

"No, no, not on the bare. It's my first spanking."

"All right then, but I'll have to spank harder."

He gripped me firmly, pushing my upper half down, so that my jeans were even tighter. They weren't going to be much help, with only my tiny thong beneath. Then a broad male palm landed with a resounding thwack across my upturned bum. Wow, it stung, but he held me tight, and went on to apply my first spanking with gusto. I squealed and wriggled, but there was nothing I could do. After I don't know how many spanks, he stopped and helped me to my feet.

I clutched my burning, smarting cheeks. "There, honour satisfied," he laughed. "I really enjoyed that, and next time it will be on the bare."

"I can see that," looking down at the bulge in the front of his jeans. I undid my own, peeling them off. "So did I, so let's do something about it," and I sank my now bare red bottom onto him.

Loki Darksong: Ten Minutes (M/F)

She was a Black woman, looking far younger than her forty-two years. She had a thick build but was not fat. Her years of weight loss still toning down her body paid off.

She was tied over a padded bench and was wearing the uniform of an Edwardian period maid. Her skirt was pulled up and her bloomers pulled down. The air felt cool on her brown colored rear.

He, her husband, also was dressed in period attire. The clothing, that of a gentleman of means, looked sharp on his dark brown skin, his dreadlocks adding more flare to the image.

In his hand he held a martinet, a French spanking implement made of many laces of leather. On the table was a small hour glass that measured ten minutes in length.

She did not believe that a martinet was that fearsome an implement. That a handful of strokes with it was not too much of a threat.

He had said that it was how long you used it rather than a set number that really mattered with the martinet. And he only needed ten minutes to prove his case.

The first minute reminded her of a birching. The leather held the same sting as a birch with less chance of splinters.

The second minute she wished that it was made of wood. By now it would have been time to stop and get a fresh birch, giving her a few moments breather instead of this constant lashing across her rear.

The third minute she was unable to keep still in her bonds. She flinched and jerked about constantly, little gasps escaping past her clenched teeth.

The fourth minute and she was tugging at her bonds trying to get free of the constant sting, her own dreadlocks dancing about with her head’s motions.

The fifth minute was when she admitted to herself that he was right! The martinet WAS an effective implement of punishment, when used properly. She did not say that aloud, keeping it to herself for the moment. And she did not safeword, choosing instead to see where this ride went. Crazy, yes. But why not?

The sixth minute made her question that decision. Her husband had changed the strokes, slowing the tempo while upping his strength. Now she was really jumping on the bench!

The seventh minute and she wished she had chosen to be nude for this scene. It would have been so much cooler! The rest of her body, within the maid’s uniform, was almost as hot as her rear.

The eighth minute passed and she was almost done. She had run through her entire repertoire of sounds, cries, yells and words of distress. But her husband never ceased in helping her find newer ways of squirming under the strokes.

The ninth minute surprised her. Her husband had yet again ramped up the strokes, this time to a whole new level. She found herself now with renewed vigor in her actions and voice.

The tenth and final minute found her spending the energy of that second wind pulling off some fantastic writhing and leaps, restrained by the bonds that held her to the bench. It was true poetry in motion. Later, as they watched the footage, they would both be glad that they had decided to film the scene. It was very hot!

By the time the last grain of sand fell, her backside felt thoroughly roasted. Contrary to the beliefs of some, colors of a spanking, red and otherwise, do appear on dark brown skin. The many, many dark red lines etched across her brown skin could be seen quite clearly. Her bottom in general was now a darker shade of red as well.

In all it was a fun session. After retiring to their bedroom, and after a bout of post spanking… fun, she reflected on her new respect for the martinet. She could not wait for the opportunity to use it herself. Perhaps in concert with what she was going to use on her husband during their next playtime.

She had come up with such a nice image while over the bench. It would be so much fun to bring it to life!

Wow. Great job, everyone! I guess we can call this experiment a success. This is one topic that I won't regret revisiting in the future. Thanks to all of our wonderful contributors.

MBS Spanko Brunch #328

2012-04-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

I like to find new topics and approaches for brunch. I don't want to ask the same questions again and again. So in that spirit, let's share some tales.

Please tell us a short spanking story. It can be real or fictional. It can be about you or someone else or no one in particular. 100 words or so will be fine. Let your imagination be your guide.

To participate in our brunch celebration, enter your story below in the form of a comment. Later in the weekend, I will post an edited summary.

In with the New: Warming Up Nicely Edition

2012-04-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

It's my pleasure to introduce this great new crop of spanking-oriented blogs!

A Domestic Disciplined Woman's Reflections

Belle's Blog

Bethany's Update Blog

Blushing Books Blog

Dark Secret's Spanking (F/M)

Flipping SpankCakes

Miss Shanelle's Spanking Blog (F/X)

Paddles 4 Pain & Pleasure

Theatre du Discipline

Legend

General Spanking
Photos/Videos
Model/Industry
DD Blogs
Authors/Stories
Ds/BDSM Blogs

To these new members of our community, I bid you welcome. If you would like some blogging tips and suggestions, try these. In any case, we're very glad you're here!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Apr 22

2012-04-22T18:00:00.000-07:00

Our topic of the week was spanking lore. Here's what you had to say.

Hermione: Spanking was originally associated with fertility. In ancient Greece, women who were unable to conceive went to the temple of Juno where the priests of the Greek god Pan spanked them with goat hide whips in an effort to increase their fertility by exciting them sexually.

That could actually work...

Kitty: I've heard it said that the cane is the worst type of spanking, but I haven't had it done, so I can't say.

Ana: Some nuns, and I think monks as well, used a cord across their own backs as a symbolic (or in some cases, maybe more than symbolic) penance. I've always used this to respond to criticisms that spanking conflicts with Christian beliefs.

Joeyred: @Ana. You can read about how they tortured themselves in the book The Lives of the Saints. The brothers would read it to us during detention.

Spankings hurt more on a cold bottom. I can attest to the truth of this one.

Loki_Darksong: The Roman holiday known as The Lupercalia is my favorite lore. Taking place on February 15th, and being the main reason for the creation, this Roman fertility holiday is famous for the run of The Lupercal Priest. They would carry the skins of sacrificed goats as thongs to strike the palms of women who were looking for luck with childbirth, as well as to ease the pains associated with it.

Legend has it that the women became dissatisfied with only their palms being struck and wanted more intimate parts tended to.

Dr. Ken: Uh... “If you spank it, they will come?”

No, wait a minute...

S: Spanking on a wet bottom definitely stings more as it also does also over wet clothing. My lore, is that the most sensitive part of a lady's derriere is that crease where thigh meets bottom cheek, and the underhang of bottom above it. Not only does the spanking sting much more, but it is just the spot one has to sit on afterward! D likes me really well bent over so that my crease is readily available for him.

Jayden: Wow! That's interesting, Hermione! That being the case, I'm glad I stayed a closet spanko until after my tubes were tied, because I was OVERLY fertile!

Jim: Something that I have noticed over the years is the number of spanko tops who are left handed. Have others noticed this? Or is it just a false impression on my part?

Kitty: Jim, it's anecdotal, I know, but Daddy is left handed!. :)

Sunnygirl: My hubby is left handed too. Maybe it's a trend.

Ronnie: Rattan is considered the best for caning because of its flexibility and durability.

A-Non: Whether it's truly lore or just a custom, what comes to mind for me is the idea that the person being spanked should count and "thank" the spanker for each spank. I guess this comes from spanking fiction where it provides something to read to keep one engaged other than "ooooh" and "ouch!" Now this idea has taken on a life of its own and shows up in way too many stories and videos. Spankers think it is something they should demand, but it really ruins the whole thing. It is a "tradition" of sorts, but one that I wish would go away.

R Humphries: My favorite piece of lore might actually be better defined as a myth and it dates back to my schooldays. A rather tomboyish girl in my class had performed an extremely reckless act on a piece of apparatus in the gymnasium resulting in one of the very rare incidents of a girl being publicly spanked (slippered to be more precise) . When interrogated about her experience, she was partly belligerent and I suspect somewhat embarrassed. She defiantly announced that she was fine because, “Well, everybody knows the loud ones don’t hurt!” After thirty-five active years, I have yet to meet a spankette who subscribes to this school of thinking. So, yes, it probably is myth rather than lore.

Hobbes: The old gangster movies of the forties and fifties had cops using the rubber hose on juvenile delinquents because it did not leave telltale damage or marks. It's not true. The rubber hose does work well without significant damage, but it leaves parallel dark purple traces like a cane without raised welts or deep bruising.

Riley: It's so funny you bring up the example that being spanked on a wet bottom hurts more. I just had to explain this to my boyfriend this morning! He started spanking me in the shower and I kept telling him it hurt more. He didn't understand until he tried it on himself. Then he was proud that he found himself a new tool for me. Hmff!

Back to the question, I'd say that over-the-knee is the most traditional method of spanking. It just seems so "classic." It reminds me of those "I Love Lucy" episodes where her husband throws her over.

Ana: @A-Non: LOL I have to agree with you about the counting in every story/video, and it gets a bit old. It actually gets more tedious to listen to than "oww" and "ouch!"

Bonnie: Besides the wet spanking, my favorite bit of spanking lore is the (primarily US) birthday tradition. Recalling the slap supposedly given to encourage newborns to breathe, the celebrant is ritualistically given one swat for each year they are old. After puberty, this innocent childhood tradition becomes a superb opportunity for otherwise vanilla people to discover and explore their kinky sides. Whether in public or in private, the arrival of a birthday is all the excuse required for a fun spanking.

Thanks, everyone, for joining our brunch conversation!

MBS Spanko Brunch #327

2012-04-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hello, again, dear friends and welcome to our community brunch.

The dictionary defines the word lore to mean all the facts and traditions about a particular subject that have been accumulated over time through education or experience. Most cultures and communities compile and perpetuate a body of collective knowledge. So it is with spanko lore. For example, we've all heard (and perhaps know from experience) that a spanking on a wet bottom hurts more.

Have you a favorite bit of spanko lore you'd like to share? Whether common or offbeat, let's record it here.

To join in our conversation, just enter your response to our question in the form of a comment below. Once everyone has added their thoughts, I will post an edited summary.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Apr 15

2012-04-15T18:00:00.000-07:00

Our topic this week was whether it is necessary to reconcile feminism with this thing we do, and if so, how that might be achieved. As you can see, it generated lots of excellent conversation.

Morningstar: Wow, I don't think I ever thought about that. My desire to be spanked is only a small part of who I am. The rest of me - the mother, the boss, and the teacher - is quite dominant and in control and preaches feminism at every turn. I believe what I do behind closed doors, or to whom I give control, is only a small part of the whole.

After all, wasn't the main goal of feminism to make sure women had the right to choose what they did with their lives?

So no, I don't believe I have to reconcile anything. I am who I am, including all the bits and pieces, kinks and non kinks, quirks and normal day-to-day things. It's just me and my freedom of choice!

Poppy: I love this topic and, if I may, I addressed it in detail in this post.

I think it matters that women consider this question and think about their relationship with feminism. Feminism is in no way over, but it is growing up. Part of that is accepting that just because we are women, it does not mean that we need to have one collective approach to life, politics, money, or sexuality.

I read about women who don't have the vote, are not allowed to drive (Saudi Arabia), have no protection from rape (and are either killed for being raped or forced to marry their rapist) and even, more recently, watch what has happened to women's rights in America. I know that feminism has a long way to go. But, like any civil rights movement, it will take time and many diverse paths for progress to be made.

I love this aspect to who I am. I also like owning my own bank account, car, house and so on. I see no clash between the two because I do not have to toe the "feminist party line" because there is not one. Anyone who tells me how to be a woman doesn't understand the first thing about feminism.

I love this question and thank you for asking it,

Sarah Thorne: No, not necessarily. While I absolutely believe in equality between the sexes, I also personally have a strong leaning towards traditional gender roles, especially in the home. I have always felt very strongly that I am entitled to my preference without having someone interfere.

I am irritated by discussions where people state that unless you tow a certain 'feminist' line, then you're not really for equality between the sexes. I say poppycock to that! True equality is the ability to CHOOSE whether you want to live in a traditional gender role, rather than having it forced upon you by economic oppression and dependence on a man for livelihood as in times past. If someone, even a 'feminist,' tells me that I must act or think in a particular way, then we still have someone telling us what we MUST do instead of letting us decide.

Dragon's Rose: Feminism is about choice and having the freedom to make that choice. I do just that, even if it isn't very politically correct. I am a submissive wife who is obedient and gets punished by her husband. That's my choice! I asked for this lifestyle. Am I leaving feminism behind because of it? Many might think so because I am not working or bossing my husband around. I don't care what they think. I enjoy the freedom of the feminist movement in my own way.

Rosie: Nope. It's simple. This is all my choice. It's not his God-given right, his right as a man, or anything like that. I want this, he wants it, and we do it. It doesn't make me lesser or inferior. We both get what we want and our relationship is better for it.

And feminism is not about being in charge. Feminism is the RIGHT to choose. When the woman doesn't have the right to choose this lifestyle, it's abuse and anti-feminist. When a woman chooses this for herself, it is simply the lifestyle she wants to lead. That is feminism.

K: Is it necessary to reconcile feminism with TTWD? I can't help thinking about it, so necessary might be one way to describe it. In my darker moments, I see myself as an old woman being pissed that I "submitted" to a male hierarchical view. Then I remember, that I chose it, so that isn't really fair.

I have decided that it actually is not possible to reconcile the two views. But is it possible to live with both. I have a partner who strengthens me through submission, so in the end, I am living my views.

I don't think everyone is as fortunate in their partners. Sigh.

Abby: I see this question as being all about choices. Each of us is able to make our own right choices.

My choices today are vastly different than when I started my life's journey. I have grown. I have learned. I have accepted. I am a strong, independent, intelligent woman who chooses to submit to the man who showed me that I could have both.

Anon #1: To me, it's simple. I am a pilot, strong, smart, an awesome chef and a believer in equality. A man is born a man, but that does not make him superior to a woman. That I choose to submit in the home and especially in the bedroom does not write me off as being less a partner in a relationship.

In short, I am a woman who will submit to both another woman or a man in the bedroom, but outside that environment, we are all equal. Being submissive and choosing to obey is my preference. It does not mean that I am less worthy or intelligent.

Bottom line, I am a woman first, and a subbie second.

Kitty: This may be politically incorrect, but I don't identify myself as a feminist. I believe that the feminism movement has been hijacked by left-leaning political groups, in order to advance an agenda that isn't ultimately in anybody's best interest.

I agree with the big ideas of feminism, such as equal pay for equal work, the right to vote, and that women shouldn't be second class citizens, but the solution to these problems is not found in government provided childcare, mandated birth control, and other nanny state programs.

I'm a strong woman and I choose to stay home and raise my children, which I believe is the most important job.

It really angered me when feminist Hilary Rosen had the audacity to insult stay at home mothers by saying that Ann Romney hadn't worked a day in her life (she stayed home to raise five sons). As a stay at home mom, raising and homeschooling eight children, I know first hand what a ridiculous assertion that was.

As a strong, independent woman I don't see a conflict with my private act of submission (getting spanked) to "Daddy," the man I love.

Anon #2: Feminism is the freedom to choose what we want. I'm educated, established in my career and can support myself. What I choose to do in my bedroom doesn't diminish these accomplishments. In fact, it's probably the difference that makes it exciting!

Belle L: Feminism brings out a wide variety of ideas, kind of like "this thing we do." People have their own ideas about what it is. I am glad that we, as women, have the choices that we do now.

I do not, however, feel we are equal in all things. In fact, I think we are superior in a lot of things. I think men are superior in other things. I'm glad God arranged it so that we need one another. If all people lived as God wanted, we would all be "happy," even if DD was not a choice.

Unfortunately, we are a bunch of fouled-up, baggage-carrying humans in search of something. I'm so glad that I GOT TO CHOOSE who I would love, marry, trust, etc. Just think of the most screwed-up guy that you know, and think what it would have been like to be forced to marry him, forced to give him all the control in your life, or even just forced to work for someone like him.

In a perfect world, wives would be submissive to their husbands, they would be submissive to one another, and he would love her as Christ loved the church. The church being all believers or those who will believe and accept. There was no greater love. In a perfect world, there would not have to be feminism. But, as we all know, THIS IS NOT A PERFECT WORLD. Thank God there are choices. We have choices, and we are able to use our wisdom in making them.

Daisy: IMHO, Feminism is grossly overrated!

I feel that women are as strong and capable as men, but in different ways. I think we should be equal in every aspect, and our contribution to life on earth should be just as valued and appreciated.
That, however, does NOT mean I want to go be the hunter.
The man's role is important. He brings home the bacon.
The woman's role is just as important. She cooks it.
We were designed to work together as a team, each with different roles, but equal.

I believe if the woman WANTS to go hunt the food, she should be able to, and if the man wants to cook it, fine. In other words, people should be valued and accepted and appreciated for their role in society and in a defined relationship, whatever that may be, as long as both are happy with it.

There is a vast difference between being considered unworthy of the same wage as men for doing the same job, and CHOOSING to submit to a partner.

In the days when women were seen as the "weaker sex," they were undervalued, mistreated, pushed around, refused education, refused the right to vote and did not have any choice in how they were treated. In choosing to submit, you are showing your strength, and showing that you have that choice.

No reconciliation is needed!

Make Mine Red: I've not thought much about this topic before. I do know that I am in control in pretty much every aspect of my life. I am college educated, have a full-time job, manage the household finances and more. In the bedroom, I prefer that he take charge and let me give up that role. We don't do the whole punishment thing, so that's a non-issue for us. I appreciate the fact that I have the freedom to choose and that I have a partner who agrees!

S.N.M.: I'll reinterpret the topic as "Do you find it necessary to reconcile feminism with your interest in spanking women? Why or why not? If so, how do you accommodate both?"

Feminism (or, to use a more complete term, sexual egalitarianism) is the belief that men and women are of equal personhood, and should not be judged as people by which pair of chromosomes they have. My desire to spank women has nothing to do with my perceptions of them as people. I don't respect a woman less or feel superior to her just because we play consensual dominance games where I'm on top.

Another reinterpretation: "Do you find it necessary to reconcile humanism with your interest in spanking anyone? Why or why not? If so, how do you accommodate both?"

Put simply, I think that accepting our sexual eccentricities and indulging them in a safe manner with those who share them is pretty empowering for all parties. As someone else said, "If a masochist says 'hit me,' a TRUE sadist would say 'no.'"

Rule number one of self-consciousness: If you hold irreconcilable beliefs, it means you're doing something wrong. I do hope that not too many of us would answer "Yes" to this week's question.

Indy: Thanks for raising this interesting and potentially controversial topic. My response to this question isn’t terribly concise, so I’ve posted my thoughts on my own blog.

Anon #2: My wife was part of the late 1970s and 80s feminist movement. I certainly supported these politics. Consequently, my wish to spank her, and her willingness to submit, seemed to be a contradiction, about which I felt guilty and confused.

Fortunately, she was clearer headed than I, explaining she wanted politics kept out of her bedroom! If she, as a mature educated professional woman, recognised and indulged her sexually submissive nature, that was her decision. In the rest of her life, she was confident and assertive (as are many male submissives). In this instance, only she chose to submit (Pandora Blake makes this same point on her blog).

There was, my wife explained, no conflict with our mutual believe in equality and I should feel pleased to be the one who she chose to trust.

She was right, and 25+ years on, she still is...

Hermione: I agree with the others who said that feminism is all about choice. As a woman, I have the freedom to vote, to hold down a good job, to play sports, and to enjoy my sexuality. Spanking is a large part of my sexual makeup, and I choose to indulge in it in a way that is satisfying to my partner and me.

It might be interesting to rephrase the question and ask the men how spanking relates to their masculinity at a future brunch.

Consider it added to the list!

Florida Dom: I probably should blog on this topic, but I will give a short version. I think strong independent feminist professional women make the best submissives. I've written a series of stories called Training Lisa about a young woman who is a tiger in the boardroom and a submissive in the bedroom. I think a woman can be a feminist with a career and still yearn to be submissive in the bedroom. They are two different things.

Unfortunately in our society, women still have a long way to go. They make less money for doing the same job and rarely become CEOs of big companies and are often called the B-word if they are assertive in their jobs.

And in many relationships, they come home from work and cook and clean and tend to the kids while the husband watches Sportscenter. I think a good Dom does his fair share of the work around the house so the sub is refreshed and ready to serve him when the kids are in bed.

And a desire to be spanked and submit isn't necessarily a female thing. If you read femdom blogs, there are men who want to submit and be spanked by their wives.

Cara Bristol: I'd like to propose a theory where as feminism increases, MORE women will find that a part of them desires to be spanked, to submit, to step down, simply because being in control all the time is tiring. It is relaxing to hand over to control to someone else FOR A WHILE. It's like a vacation. And afterward, you feel refreshed and more capable of taking on the world.

Mary: I've been absent a while, but woke up wanting to check in. Congrats, Bonnie. I was at brunch #1 now you are on 326!

Cara said it well for me. There is an element of feeling refreshed and relieved for me when I relinquish control. The term sexual egalitarianism would not have us asking if there is a a conflict. I think the confusion is that feminism is sometimes associated with militant ideas (perhaps for the same reasons that assertive women in the board room get label with the B-word). Anyway, as many said well, at the heart, it isn't about working in the home or elsewhere, or about being spanked or not. We are truly equal when we recognize that the choice is ours to make.

Wow, Mary, I remember that. I think it may have been your first comment on MBS. It's great to hear from you. You're always welcome.

Bonnie: I identify with the feminist cause because I remember my mother and other women in her generation being denied opportunities to pursue careers and lives they desired. I feel a debt of gratitude to those women who fought to create a better world for the rest of us. It's important to me to honor and respect their legacy.

With that said, I long ago made peace with my feminist side. I am female by birth, but submissive by choice. When I submit to my husband, I do so as an exercise of my freedom to choose, not as an acceptance of any alleged inferiority. I have the ability and the right to select my own path, and that makes all the difference.

My choice may not be popular with some activists, but I no more live my life for them than I do for the chauvinists who would even now hold us back. Does it happen to align with traditional gender roles? Yes, to some degree, but this is my informed preference. I see no conflict.

Riley: I think the two topics are slightly different, but related. I am happy that feminism exists and that women in the 20s fought for our right to vote, hold a job, own property, etc. If not for that, we probably wouldn't value this lifestyle, but rather, resent it. I like that it's a choice. Personally, I think submission in love is great. There can't be two leaders. They'd butt heads. So, one has to follow. In my everyday life, I'm perfectly happy doing my own work, even taking on some leadership roles. But in my relationship, I innately want to lean on him.

I am not insulted when he asks me to hang his coat or to make him a meal. It's how he rolls. I get benefits as well. He takes care of me, dotes on me, and very much values my opinion. It's old-school, but it works for us. That said, I wouldn't want it to be universal. I think that's half of what makes it so special! Also, if it were universal, too many would use the power in the wrong way. It needs to be consensual, in my opinion.

Celeste Jones: I agree with Cara's comment about the desire to give up control to someone else, if only occasionally, because it's a relief compared to all of the other decisions a woman has to make.

Submission is a choice and it is a gift that the submissive (woman, in this conversation) gives to another. As such, it should not be given lightly and the woman should make sure that the man she chooses is worthy of this role. It's a question of character. A woman who willingly places herself in a spanking position must trust the person giving the spanking not to go too far. If she entrusts this man with the authority to determine punishments for her, then she must be able to trust his judgment to be fair and not vindictive.

Being submissive doesn't mean that a woman is submissive to every man she encounters. Thank goodness, since there are so many who are unworthy. But she chooses someone especially for that role.

Kaelah: I certainly identify with the feminist cause since I am one of those women who don't want to live a life with traditional gender roles. So, I am very thankful to those who fought for my freedom to choose and to live the life that fulfills me.

I always looked for a man who wanted an equal mate and a relationship that doesn't have one leader and one follower, but works with shared decisions and responsibilities. I am lucky enough to have found that man in my mate, Ludwig, and having in him a fellow kinky spirit as well.

Our spanking play isn't in any way a contradiction to feminism or our life as equal partners. Spanking for us is sexual role-play and the roles that we take in this role-play don't affect the roles that we have outside the bedroom. With the knowledge that Ludwig sees me as an equal mate, I can indulge even in very rough or submissive play without having to be afraid that my mate wants me to be submissive or obedient in our relationship as well. I know that this is extremely important for Ludwig too. He wouldn't feel comfortable dominating a woman whom he wouldn't see as a strong equal mate in real life.

What's more, Ludwig even switches for me from time to time which is a wonderful gift of trust and makes him all the more attractive and strong in my eyes. I am predominantly a bottom and Ludwig is predominantly a top, so most of the time our play is M/F. I'm perfectly happy with this arrangement because this is the combination I fantasise about the most when it comes to sexual spanking play. But I also have a toppy side that comes out from time to time, and it is wonderful to have a mate who is open-minded and flexible enough to let me live out that part of me as well.

I agree with many others who said that they don't like the kind of feminism that is just as rude and patronizing as many chauvinists. I don't see any reason why engaging in BDSM play (as a bottom or a submissive) should be anti-feminist, as long as it is a free choice. The same goes for me for taking sexy pictures or making (spanking) porn.

That said, I have come across people in the kinky community who believe that there is only one spanking gender constellation (usually M/F) that is right and reflects the natural or God-given gender roles. In my opinion, that is a very patronizing and narrow-minded view, and one that scares me.

This is especially true because I know that many countries still deprive women of equal rights, that even in the Western countries men and women still aren't treated equally in some respects. There are also movements in our Western societies, usually religious ones, that try to bring back the traditional gender roles and abolish the freedom of choice that we have. Indy already mentioned the situation in the US in her post. Here in Germany, we also have groups, often Muslim ones, that are against equal choices for genders.

The idea that my children could grow up in a world that doesn't grant them the same freedom of choice that I have today scares me. So do movements that try to (re)establish rigid gender roles, no matter whether within the spanking community or in our society in general.

Blondie: I was raised by a paid feminist speaker who rallied hard for equal rights back in the 70s. She wanted everyone to have equal rights. We were taught to not judge others, but to be accepting of all. I chose to be a stay at home mom, and my mother supported my choice 100% as she also supported my sisters who chose to work outside of the house.

Now don't get me wrong, my mother would never approve of my lifestyle with DD and spankings. She would not understand it at all. We were brought up helping support shelters for abused women and being taught to not let any man tell us what to do. My choices are mine and I don't have to reconcile them because to those who don't have any tolerance, there is no explaining. Even to some who think they are open minded, the lifestyle wouldn't make sense. How would I explain to someone that I have made a very strong decision to allow my husband to have the final say and to spank in discipline and in erotic sexual play. It's my choice - what my mother fought for, even though I am not sure she knew that part. The difference is that with feminism, we have a choice. It is not decided by a man for us.

Sunny Girl: I am a fully liberated women who has lived long enough to see the strides that have been made by and for women. I do not live a DD lifestyle and I may not understand it, but different strokes for different folks. I am, however, a spanko and enjoy being spanked for fun and pleasure. I have no trouble reconciling my feminism.

Sublime Wifey: I really appreciate all of the comments here because it took me a while to reconcile my submissive desires with my feminism. I spent years feeling like a traitor to my own cause because of my fantasies and desires. I wouldn't confess them to anyone, barely even to myself. When I finally came around about a year ago and found web sites and blogs like this one, I found the courage to tell my husband. It turns out he'd been struggling with his desire for dominance. He thought I'd balk and it would bring an end to our marriage. Since our confessions about spanking and other forms of power exchange we find we are much happier both in and out of the bedroom. I still sometimes have trouble reconciling my desires with my feminism, but it's more about being a mother and role model than about my roles as wife and professional (not that my kid knows what's going on... It's really all in my head). But at least I no longer feel wrong... just a tiny bit conflicted.

What an incredible discussion! Thank you all for sharing your unique perspectives. We don't always agree, but in our differences lies a wonderful opportunity for learning and understanding.

MBS Spanko Brunch #326

2012-04-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hello again and welcome! For reasons that will soon become evident, our question this week is aimed primary at female spankees, but anyone is welcome to offer their thoughts.

Do you find it necessary to reconcile feminism with your interest in being spanked? Why or why not? If so, how do you accommodate both?

To join our conversation, please enter your response in the form of a comment below. Once everyone has had their turn, I will post an edited summary.

In with the New: April Showers Edition

2012-04-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

As long as people want to blog about spankings, I want to read what they have to say. Here are a dozen great new destinations!

A Day in the Life of Jenna

Daisy Parker's CDD Fictional Stories

Discipline and Lifestile

Disciplining Jayden: Mi Vida Loca

Fresh 'n Wild Sassafras

Less Than Three

Punishment Films News

Saved by Seth

Slightly Naughty Princess

SpankCitement

Spanking Girls Video

Spanking Husband UK

Legend

General Spanking
Photos/Videos
Model/Industry
DD Blogs
Authors/Stories
Ds/BDSM Blogs

To these new members of our community, I bid you welcome. If you would like some blogging tips and suggestions, try these. In any case, we're very glad you're here!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Apr 8

2012-04-09T18:00:00.001-07:00

This week, we examined the question of who is a spanking enthusiast. Here are your thoughts.

Kaelah: I would go for a slightly modified version of option two. For me, spanking enthusiasts are people who are interested in consensual adult spanking and whose spanking fantasies come up pretty regularly, not just once a year.

Todd and Suzy: If we're talking "spanking enthusiasts" than it would be anyone who is into adult consensual spanking play. We wouldn't count the every so often swat to the backside during sex in that group. That seems to fall more into the "I like a little spice in my sex life" category. Spanking is a little more than that. It has to be a bit more enthusiastic!

We wouldn't say a person has to actually ~do~ any spanking to qualify as an enthusiasts though. If you think about it... if the idea of giving or receiving a spanking works for you, then that certainly counts. That interest doesn't have to be in full on discipline or being paddled really hard either. Just an interest in spanking works. But it actually has to be in spanking, not just a random swat here and there.

Hmmm, this is harder to define than we thought. How about... We know it when we see it!

Hermione: I think that spanking enthusiasts are people who identify themselves as such. They might also fall into one or more of the other categories, but there is room for more than one interpretation of the label. If you think you are one, then you are.

Six of the Best: I would say spanking enthusiasts fall into all five of the categories you mentioned.

Spanky: It's probably the first, though in my mind, members of groups two through five are probably also members of the first one. I agree with Hermione though. If you say you are you are.

Sunny Girl: In my humble opinion, if you enjoying spanking in any form you can be categorized as an enthusiast.

Joeyred: I agree with Hermione. Also, for me, it does not matter whether you play privately or are "in the scene."

I want to note that some of my BDSM friends who engage in spanking as part of their play do not consider themselves spanking enthusiasts. So, simply engaging in spanking is not enough to be an enthusiastic spanko.

BTW. I consider myself a spanking enthusiast.

Hobbes: I agree with most of the comments above and would say this is one of those things where people self-identify. Spanking and enthusiasm are pretty simple words and would cover a very broad spectrum. Spanking fan would be a step beyond, fan being the short form of fanatic. So I would be a fan of MBS because it is a bit beyond enthusiasm... :-))

Thank you, Hobbes!

Ana: #1. People on the outside can't judge. Especially with this kind of thing, you're probably an enthusiast if you think you are one. It's not like being handsome or a prima ballerina or a great singer who needs to be evaluated by outside sources... or a field that needs a gatekeeping mechanism to weed out the wannabes. Being called a spanking enthusiast plus $10 will get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks. :P

L.: I think of it as 1 and 2, provided the interest is not merely clinical (doing research, for example).

Someone who is spanked regularly might or might not qualify. There are bloggers who post that they are spanked for discipline but hate being spanked (as opposed to those who are spanked for discipline and for fun also), so I would not consider them enthusiasts. Their spanker might be one though!

I a;so agree that the occasional swat during sex seems more of a "spicing up the sex life" sort of thing than enthusiasm for spanking per se.

Kitty: Since I enjoy getting spanked, and am ENTHUSIASTIC about it, actually, then I definitely consider myself to be a "spanking enthusiast." LOL!

Saoirse: I tend to be inclusive! :) So I'm of the "If You Think You Are, Then You Are" school. Like Ana said, I don't think anyone on the outside needs to confer the badge! Some of us are more apt to put our fantasies into action than others, and I think that speaks to some other characteristic than our spank-o-ness. So for me, even one who only allows himself or herself the occasional happy swat during sex can count if they thrill is there.

Over Her Lap: If one spends a lot of time thinking about spanking, (and I do... LOL) and says they are an enthusiast then, as Hermione says, they are one. I think that #3 is the best description of an enthusiast, even though they may not always have an willing partner. Spanking can even be practiced in our fantasies.

Dragon's Rose: I would say that the word fits people who spank for pleasure. DD is an animal all to itself and those swats are no fun. Enthusiast makes me think of something fun, not an unpleasant chore.

I like to be spanked for fun and Dragon enjoys the spanking dance and red cheeks. I know many people who share our interest. It makes life interesting.

Jack and Jill: We imagine that "spanking enthusiasts" probably best refers to #2, as opposed to, say, overzealous disciplinarian parents.

Prefectdt: All five options are pertinent, but if forced to choose, number two seems to be closest to the mark.

Wordsmith: I have to be controversial and say that none of the above are sufficient. To be a spanking enthusiast, it has to hit an undefinable button in your psyche. Otherwise, it is falls into the "spice it up" category. I could say more, but there is a chocolate egg waiting, and anyway, you already know what I mean. :-)

Ronnie: Very interesting question, Bonnie, but not an easy one to define.

I would say a bit of 1,2 and 3. I do agree with Hermione. "If you think you are one, then you are."

Sarah Thorne: I say two.

You can most certainly have a deep interest without being an active participant. After all, many of us had fantasies for years before engaging.

S.N.M.: 1, 2, 3, and 5. I think most people fall under 4, and I would not call most people spanking enthusiasts.

Spanking Resource: I think I have to agree with S.N.M about 1,2,3 and 5. I meet and talk with people everyday who would never spank or do not want to be spanked, but love the sight of a pink bottom.

There are also people who build their lifestyle around spanking.

Cherry: I've talked to my vanilla friends about spanking and some of them admit to liking the occasional "tap on the ass," but I wouldn't consider them spanking enthusiasts. I think a true spanking enthusiast is anyone who would prefer to be spanked over NOT being spanked in sexual situations.

It's a spanking spectrum, I suppose... Some are just greyer than others. :)

Lea: I'd say 1, 2, 3, and 5. Usually I'm referring to myself and those I know who practice spanking regularly, or think about it an extraordinary amount. LOL

Playful Little Brat: Like a lot of people who commented, I'd say it's a mix of one and two. I think if you have an interest in adult spanking and you consider yourself a spanking enthusiast then you most likely are one! Of course there are exceptions to that rule, but I think for the most part you know whether you are or not.

Country Spanker: I think I would say 1, 2 & 3 would apply to me (us) and the more enthusiastic we are, the better it seems to be.

Our Bottoms Burn: I might throw out #4, but we know a woman who thinks differently.

Tony Elka of Shadow Lane was the first person I heard use the term spanking enthusiast and that goes back a long time.

Bonnie: I'm inclined to cast a wide net and include anyone with a genuine interest, regardless of their motivation or practices. Even the sternest disciplinary scene can yield benefits that (most likely later) inspire enthusiasm. Similarly, a spanking during sex is a spanking just the same. If it didn't produce positive results, people wouldn't do it.

I believe my answer is “All of the above.”

Thank you all for joining our brunch conversation. See you next weekend!

MBS Spanko Brunch #325

2012-04-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter and Happy Passover! Spring has now arrived and with it lots of chores to be completed. I suggest we take a brief break and discuss a topic of interest to us all: Spanking. This week's question is a variation of an old topic, but one I think is worth bringing back.

When we discuss spanking enthusiasts, about whom are we speaking?

Everyone who identifies themselves as such
Anyone with an interest in adult spanking
People who practice spanking regularly
Those who enjoy an occasional swat during lovemaking
Individuals who are engaged in the community

To join our conversation, just enter your thoughts as a comment below. Once everyone has spoken, I will post an edited summary.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Apr 1

2012-04-03T18:00:00.000-07:00

Our topic this week was hiding the telltale wince. Here are your thoughts.

Kaelah: Luckily, I have never had to explain any involuntary cringe or yelp resulting from sitting on a sore bottom. I was especially scared after I took my most severe spanking so far, fifty very severe cane strokes. Even then, I almost didn't have any problems with sitting down the next day, even though my bottom was very vividly marked.

I sometimes mark very heavily and need quite a long time to heal, but still my bottom doesn't hurt too much when I sit down after a spanking.

Oh, and welcome back, Bonnie! :-)

Thank you!

Dave: About a month ago, I deserved and received a very hard spanking from my Lady. There were bruises and marks for more than a week, and every time I sat down I was reminded vividly of my punishment. I had to consciously remember to sit down as if nothing was different, but needless to say, sitting was quite painful for a while.

Prefectdt: I have never had much pain from sitting on a well whupped derriere. The build up of heat caused by sitting on soft furnishings shortly after a rump roasting does produce some interesting leaning and shuffling, to let the heat out. Getting up, after sitting on a hard surface can be very painful, but avoiding embarrassment of having people see you cringe is just a matter of timing. "Look everyone, a Kangaroo!"

Enzo and Charlotte: One day, Charlotte's sister saw the marks of a beating with a wooden paddle on her bottom. There were two very large purple bruises. Charlotte said she had fallen on the stairs. Obviously, her sister did not believe her. Some weeks later, we confessed the truth to Clara.

Since that day, the sister of Charlotte has been interested in BDSM and spanking. And she told us about some of her experiences.

Saoirse: I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I enjoy the heat. Well, it's not the heat, as much as the effects of the heat. The damp heat surging in certain areas. The warm soft feelings proving his dominion. The anticipation of a different kind of ownership being played out later. It's hard for him to keep His hands off of me when I wear his marks. Do I have to surrender my card? Move to a different kink site?

Once I had a doctor's appointment where my bum was on display, and a bruise visible. Fortunately, there'd been an ice storm. I'd been knocked off my feet by a mastiff who thought the horse going by was his long lost mother and I had bruises everywhere...

Blondie: I haven't had to disguise my discomfort, but one of my friends did. She told her friend that she had pulled something that made it uncomfortable to sit. Her friend never even blinked an eye. Just kept on going with the conversation. Too funny.

Lea: I've had many occasions where sitting was truly uncomfortable. I would sit quite gingerly, but nobody ever asked about it. Obviously, I can't have a pillow on my office chair so I just had to deal with it. As a funny side note, a coworker of mine (who is usually on her feet a lot in her job) complained at how her butt hurt one day from having to sit at the desk so much. I just laughed and thought "You have NO idea!"

Dragon's Rose: I expect the discomfort from sitting. I yelp when someone touches my back unexpectedly after a flogging. We explain my yelp away with super sensitive skin. I don't know why but a soft touch hurts. Firm touch is fine but not soft. My little quirk is well known and is a convenient excuse for a sore back.

Rod: Yes, it's happened to me a couple of times the day after my bottom had been caned soundly. The first time was when I was driving and got a sudden twinge. That was tricky, especially as my passenger asked what the problem was. The second time was in the office, but the warm pain and glow just made me thankful for what I had received.

A'marie: A few months ago, I was being spanked by a FWB, and had to be home soon after for a weekly gaming session with friends. I'm normally not fazed by sitting on a sore bottom (maybe it's just never been sore enough, eh?). So I wasn't worried about being able to sit for the three hours we'd be raiding.

I had my wireless headset on later, and got up out of my chair to grab replacement mouse batteries. I was chatting as I went to sit back down; I just kind of threw myself in the chair as I usually do without thinking, and I yelped and let out a string of obscenities. My friends were all concerned I had hurt myself, or (as has happened often) spilled soda on my keyboard/laptop, or something else disastrous. So I lied. I said I stubbed my toe. I didn't even feel the slightest bit guilty about lying, either! The (kinky) raid co-leader messaged me about ten seconds later, however, and said: "Liar, liar, your pants ARE on fire, aren't they?"

Eh, at least most of them were in the dark. ;)

Hermione: I usually enjoy the afterglow and residual discomfort, but there was one occasion when I performed in a concert a few hours after a spanking. When our group wasn't singing we sat on unpadded wooden benches, and there was no chance to stand up for relief because we were in full view of the audience for the entire time.

Honey: I am very, very good at keeping a straight face. I like the pain as a reminder too, so I just wriggle into my seat and try and not smile too widely!

Unless I'm tipsy. Then I have a tendency to announce that SOMEONE was very MEAN and I can't sit down. My boyfriend tends to facepalm and tell me to drink less. I have no shame. (He doesn't really mind. We're out as kinky to all our close friends.)

A-Non: I am a runner, and I often complain offhand of lots of little sore muscles in my back and ribs. So I almost always sit gingerly. Most people don't want to think of the two or three reasons why a person might wince as sitting, so they just tune out. Yelping might seem notable, however.

Susan: After a good hiding, I am allowed a day or two to recover, but after a sound spanking (hand, hairbrush or slipper), it is a different matter. D likes to spank, just before we are going out to the cinema, theatre or dining. The car is OK, as I can keep my burning hereafter clear of the seat, but cinemas and theaters are another matter; I can't fidget as it disturbs the others near me, and the interval is such a welcome relief. A firm restaurant chair is another matter, and any rubbing or wriggling is bound to attract attention. I was once offered a cushion by a waiter who I think had guessed my problem!

The worst one was when we were staying in an hotel. During dinner I said something, which D said merited a spanking there and then. He told the waiter to put our main course on hold, and led me up to our room. Very quickly, I found myself over his lap, my short thin skirt on high, my knickers on the floor, and the hairbrush drumming against my poor bare bottom. It was a very sound spanking indeed, and when I at last stood up, my bottom was burning and throbbing. D pulled down my dress, and led me knickerless back to the dining room. I gasped as I sat down, and somehow managed to eat my rare steak, which must have resembled my own poor rump steak! A turn round the dance floor was some respite, although I was sure my short flirty skirt was going to swirl up to show my bare red bottom beneath, but the thin silk gave no protection, as I sat down to finish my dinner. I was glad to get back to our room, and a good seeing-to from D, which by then I was longing for!

Anon: I'm always sore bottomed after paddlings. My wife refers to it as "thinking of me each time you sit." While I do feel it when I sit, I never any problems doing so. I have one friend, N, a lady who knows my kink. Her restaurant is between work and home, a 35 minute commute. She got a big laugh out of hearing me say that I "needed a break from sitting." Her employee looked puzzled, but N thought it was deservedly hilarious.

Ana: I asked a friend once for advice, and she suggested saying that I pulled a muscle in my back or slept wrong. But mostly, people don't notice and I am quiet.

Make Mine Red: I haven't ever winced sitting down, but have groaned upon rising after being seated awhile. I just say I must be getting old. I live in a very vanilla world and no one has ever questioned it. :) I am basking in a "warm glow" right now and enjoying every minute and memory. :)

Kiwi Girlie Girl: As with many people, I enjoy the after effects and I am often sore for the next day or so. I've never had to explain away an ouch or anything like but, one night, I was was getting into the bath when Little Miss walked into the bathroom. She often sits in there with me while I'm in the bath and just talks to me. Anyway, she saw bruises and I had to explain that they were from riding my horse. LOL... Luckily, littlies fall for little white lies so much more easily.

Poppy: I pretend my back is sore, which sometimes it is, so if I word it properly, I don't even have to lie.

Sits, winces. "I have a bad back which sometimes makes it hurt when I go from standing to sitting."
All true. It is just that this wince was caused by a monster session with the cane.

Bonnie: One would think that I would be skilled at handling this dilemma by now. Quite often, though, I'm not. Randy takes great delight in watching me struggle with posterior discomfort, especially in public. Even a clever excuse is worthless when he stares at me and smiles from ear to ear. I suddenly find myself blushing and it's a bit like getting spanked all over again. I might be upset were it not such a turn-on!

Thanks, everyone for joining our brunch get together. I hope to see you again next week.

MBS Spanko Brunch #324

2012-03-31T06:00:00.000-07:00

It's good to see everyone again! Thank go to Hermione for hosting last week's brunch. This time, we have a new question.

As we know all too well, sitting can be very uncomfortable for the recipient of a well executed spanking. Have you or your partner ever had to explain away an involuntary cringe or yelp resulting from sitting on a sore bottom? If so, what sort of vanilla cover story did you concoct? Did it work?

If you'd like to participate in our brunch discussion, just post your thoughts in the form of a comment below. Later, after everyone has had their chance to speak, I will post an edited summary.

MBS Spanko Brunch #323

2012-03-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

It's my pleasure to announce that this week's brunch is in the able hands of our friend, Hermione. I hope you will stop over to see her and check it out.

In with the New: March Madness Edition

2012-03-19T18:00:00.000-07:00

Hey, everyone! Let's go explore some cool new spanking-oriented blogs...

Behind the Castle Walls

Captn Spanks Blogg

Deferring to Dave

Domestic Discipline UK

Ducky's Little Corner

Joey and Friends

Leading, Loving, Learning

Spanking Tumblr Girls

Strict Attention (F/x)

The Dish with Ward and June

Legend

General Spanking
Photos/Videos
Model/Industry
DD Blogs
Authors/Stories
Ds/BDSM Blogs

To these new members of our community, I bid you welcome. If you would like some blogging tips and suggestions, try these. In any case, we're very glad you're here!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Mar 18

2012-03-18T18:00:00.000-07:00

Our topic this week was traditional corporal punishment scenes. Here are your thoughts.

Sarah Thorne: Yes, they do appeal to me. I guess the reason is because it feels/appears more realistic than something staged to be primarily sexually focused.

Dave: Definitely yes. I grew up on a farm in the 1950's. Traditional corporal punishment scenes bring back memories of actual spankings that my peers and I received as a matter of course in life in school and at home.

Joeyred: Absolutely. I have read The Punishment Book. It contains many traditional corporal punishment stories and I enjoyed all of them. I am developing a scene for my visit to St. Margaret's Academy in April that will involve the punishment of two ladies and me for transgressions committed by us. It will involve a punishment referral several hours before the scene and a group punishment.

RG (Hubby of Sarah Thorne): Traditional corporal punishment scenes are, for me, the most appealing.

Why is a more difficult answer, but my sense of things is that it's a combination of two things: 1) I subscribe to the 'hardwired' theory that for many of us our fascination with spanking is somehow genetically embedded in us, and 2) my real exposure to spanking (to 'trigger' the predisposition into activity) was paddling at school.

I grew up in an era when it was the generally accepted form of correction, and so it was not much less than a daily occurrence for someone in some classroom. And while I would work to suppress the outward expression, when it happened to someone I was ardently fascinated. I think that it probably shaped the future direction of the kink. Further (and perhaps also an effect of that first shaping), I do not associate spanking with sexual connotations or situations. For me, it wraps around aspects like family and school guidance and discipline, and the deeper connotations of those in raising someone to be a better person, both for themselves and their families, and for society. It ties into the sense of justice and the separation of right and wrong.

Finally, when we consider how we dabble around with it as adults in the scene, it all ultimately funnels into the fact that the scenes that I like most, perhaps exclusively, are pretty much all traditional domestic and school oriented situations.

It's great to hear from you, RG. I was a big fan of the Z&G blog.

Ana: Yes. :) I think explaining why is as difficult as explaining why someone prefers nuts or not. However, I probably like traditional corporal punishment scenes for many of the same reasons as RG. School is big for me and spanking isn't sexual. I think there's something selfless and almost noble about a disciplinarian who gives guidance without the benefit of a sexual relationship.

David: It was an everyday occurrence in our class. A forgotten homework, gymgear, or woodwork apron brought a whacking from various implements. One teacher would write OXO on his paddle in chalk so that for the rest of the day everyone in school would know you had been whacked because you sported this mark on the seat of your trousers.

D: Yes and no. Yes, if my Susan dresses in a school uniform, pleated skirt, white shirt with tie, black knickers and stockings etc., and bends over for a sound slippering on her ripe bottom. It's a big turn on for me, and I hope for her, but she is of a certain age. Spanking of real school girls, is firmly no, no, and no turn on for either of us.

Fred Bloggs: Not for me. My school days were in the 1960s and early 1970s when corporal punishment was a regular feature. It's just a big turn off.

Country Spanker: Without a doubt, as to why I have not got the foggiest idea.

Anon: Traditional discipline role play is not part of our paddling episodes. Those are based on current actions. I may have discovered my corporal interests from a traditional situation. In high school, I received six swats from a tall athletic female teacher. Our rule at home was three for one. I was fearful of 18 from my dad's paddle. I lied about both the paddling and the number of swats. Caught in those lies gave me an extra set for each. That episode created an interest in corporal punishment that is still burning my bottom forty years later.

Respecting Mistress: I embrace traditional methods in terms of the formality and ritual of scholastic-style punishments. I like the apprehension, knowing that there's an allotted time for the appointment, the dress code, the lecture, the act of baring the bottom, and the un-erring delivery of the punishment. Everything adds to a much more profound corrective measure than a cold, on-the-spot whacking which neither party has the time to consider.

Hermione: Yes, they push all the right buttons for me. Not so much the uniform, just the idea and the ritual.

It isn't something that's a part of our play, but it's the type of spanking literature I prefer.

Six of the Best: The traditional spanking scenes, such as business, school-girls, uniform, or domestic naughtiness, are my favorites. I find such pleasurable scenes turn me on.

Prefectdt: Yes, I like them, especially school and military scenes. I like the formality of an oft repeated ceremony and the sense of ritual, that these play acts have.

Spanky: These scenes push my buttons too, especially when school uniforms are involved. There's just something special about plaid skirts and stockings for me.

Lea: Sometimes. If I'm in the right headspace for that, it can be a fun roleplay. But corporal punishment often involves canes and canes are just mean! :-(

Poppy: I am totally of two minds about them. I love it being me, being the girl who is finally held to account, but struggle with that when it is so intense. The uniform, the authority, the stern punishment all are key themes for me.

I think as times goes on and I become more confident in my ability to take a caning (I struggle if it is too hard), then these scenes will be fully explored. I blush to think of it.

Loki_Darksong: Yes, these scenes do appeal to me. This has been the case as far back as I can remember. I have always had a fascination with such scenes. I have collected clips and stories regarding this type of scenario from all over the Net.

There is an appeal to the structure and protocol associated with traditional scenes. They are no nonsense from the beginning to end and there is no mistaking them for an erotic substitute. Such scenes are excellent if one desires some form of a cathartic release. They invoke an emotional response that is both frightening and seductive. It's almost like taking a ride on a roller coaster or watching a horror film.

Reece Seever: We do not do role playing, so a "scene" per se is not involved in our relationship. But, traditional corporate punishment is closely related to what we are trying to do with DD. When we were beginning and trying to get comfortable with DD and its upsetting of our traditional gender roles, the formality of traditional corporal punishment helped. Conventions such as lists of spankable offenses, allocating a number of swats per offense, having to present oneself for punishment at the ordered time, and using a traditional wooden school paddle all added to what we were trying to do. We sought to place Anne in charge and subjecting me to her authority. And, yes, thinking about the traditional corporal punishment scenarios gives me the same butterflies in my stomach that I got on those occasions when I had to make the long march to the principal's office after misbehaving in class.

R Humphries: Being a veteran of the last Great British cane generation, the many disciplinary rituals that surrounded the corporal punishments I observed/encountered during the late-sixties and early-seventies augmented my burgeoning youthful interest in all things spanking. Those early experiences doubtless fashioned my life-long interest in the more theatrical and ritualistic aspects of theme-plays and my particular predilection for women dressed in uniforms. Fortunately, MBJ is of a creative bent and has always been kind enough to accommodate and indulge my fancies. At Chez Humphries, ‘Whops and Clobber’ rule OK!

Riley: I used to think that the traditional scene would turn me on, but for some reason, it actually doesn't! It feels a little forced to me. I'm not much of a role player in general, though, and very much a realist. I like to play the role of "myself." :)

Daisy: NO, because the traditional corporal punishment scene conjures up caning. Canes, (sometimes even reading about caning,) cause me anxiety, and even panic attacks. They make me feel sick in my stomach. They are an absolute no-no in my life.

Bonnie: Randy and I both find these sorts of scenes appealing. We have several favorite variations to which we return periodically. As many others have observed, we are from the generation that experienced, directly or indirectly, corporal punishment in school.

Unlike a lot of the others, however, these corporal punishment scenes had (and still have) a sexual context for me. I recall lying in my bed at night recounting my friend Annette's detailed description of her four swat paddling at school. At my urging, she shared every nuance of the ritual.

I so wished there were a way I could know exactly how that felt without having to be in trouble. It was a turn-on to imagine myself as the apologetic miscreant subject to that evil wooden board and the embarrassment that goes with the whole school finding out. These feelings remain an erotic touchstone even today.

Thanks to everyone who joined in our brunch discussion!

MBS Spanko Brunch #322

2012-03-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hello again, and welcome to the latest installment of our weekly conversation. St. Patrick's Day makes me think of pleated plaid kilts. Those kilts remind me of pleated plaid school uniforms. And school uniforms invariably lead me to this question.

Do traditional corporal punishment scenes appeal to you?
Why or why not?

To join the discussion, you can enter your response as a comment below. Once everyone has spoken, I'll post an edited summary.