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Surviving a long distance relationship is not impossible.

No, it’s not easy-but it is doable.

I dated my husband five years long distance-he was in southern Italy, I was in southeast Texas-and they were the longest five years of my life.

They were also instrumental in helping us nurture our relationship and establish the foundation we have today.

Every now and then I get emails from people, usually women, who are dating an Italian man long distance and looking for some tips, advice or just a caring “ear” from someone who’s been there.

Today, I’ll share those tips with you.

Here are five tips for surviving an international long distance relationship.

photo credit: francoiskarm

1. Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk

… and then talk some more.

Long distance partners have it easier today than we had it just four or five  years ago. With Skype chat and video you can actually engage in conversations without having to rush through phone calls that are costing you a fortune.

Still, that’s what we did.

We called each other three or four times a day, sometimes just to check in and say hi, other times to share a funny story about something that had just happened and other times when we had planned a phone call.

In fact, getting into a routine and knowing when you will hear from your partner is good idea. It helps cement expectations and helps you avoid manic why-hasn’t-he-called moments.

2. Have a Plan

Some relationship experts will tell you to have a plan on when the two of you will be together-forever. Personally, I think that is a little extreme. When my husband and I decided to try our hands at a long distance relationship, we had no idea how it would work out.

Instead of adding to an already stressful relationship by forcing a plan that may or may not be easy to make, take baby steps.

Have a plan on when you will see each other next.

Airport goodbyes are always sad and tearful, but knowing when you will see each other again is essential for moving forward.

3. Get a Life

You absolutely can not have a positive long distance relationship if you crawl into your bed and turn off the lights until he resurfaces. You have to have a life.

Finding your groove when you are apart will fill the time and help you feel more independent-an attractive quality in any partner.

That being said, I attribute much of our success to the fact that we were both over the going-out-every-night-drinking-and-dancing stages of our lives. One night of alcohol-induced craziness can kill any relationship … imagine what it could do after months of missing your long distance lover.

Make sure you and your partner are on the same page.

4. Stay Connected

And I’m not talking Internet, phone or Skype here. I’m talking about you.

Staying connected and ensuring you remain on the same page is instrumental to the success of your LDR. It is also a good idea to put yourself in his/her shoes. Before we’d make any big decision, we would think of what we would have wanted the other person to do in that situation.

If you wouldn’t be comfortable with your boyfriend going out and having drinks with a same-city ex, then you shouldn’t go. But again … make sure you are on the same page.

5. Stay Positive

We were lucky. Our friends and family members were totally on board and supportive of us throughout our relationship, but we still had some Negative Nellies who insisted on sharing their gloom.

“It’ll never work.”

“How are you going to make it?”

“I wonder what he/she is doing now.”

You don’t have room for these thoughts in your long distance relationship, so kick ‘em out. Either refuse to talk about your relationship with negative people or distance yourself from them all together.

Your relationship has enough stress. Don’t let someone else dump their stress onto you.

Did you survive a long distance relationship? What other tips would you share?

Traveling to southern Italy? Click here to see how I can help you plan the trip of a lifetime.

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Southern Italy has it all. There are ancient Medieval towns, peaceful fishermen villages, stretching beaches and swooping mountains. There are even Roman and Greek ruins. We learned about some of the most famous places in southern Italy as children and some of us grew up dreaming of the day we’d visit our grandparents’ homeland. But that doesn’t mean we know it all.

My then-boyfriend/now-husband grew up here in southern Italy and I was still surprised at some of the assumptions I made that were downright wrong!

With that in mind, here are three things I wish I’d known before I traveled to southern Italy.

(c) Leanne (pictured above) of From Australia to Italy

1. It Gets Brrr … Cold

Calabria has this fabulous reputation of being a hot, steamy, tropical getaway for northern Italians and other Europeans. Unfortunately, it’s crap. It gets downright cold here in southern Italy and depending on when and where you visit, you might see a lot of snow.

It’s true. Laura at Ciao Amalfi! recently posted some videos of a thunder snowstorm on the Amalfi Coast and Leanne of From Australia to Italy was recently snowed in near Cosenza (Calabria.)

2. All Restaurants/Trattorie/Pizzerie Were Created Equally

Regardless of what you may have heard, you *can* get a bad meal in southern Italy. I know. I’ve done it. Still, it is surprising to me when I hear people proclaim sweeping generalizations like, “It doesn’t matter where you eat-you are in Italy,” or “You can’t get a bad meal there!”

Trust me. You can.

If you are traveling to southern Italy and don’t want to be victim to an overcooked pizza or tasteless ragu, then search the Internet for recommendations made by locals or consider hiring a travel consultant who can help with the details.

3. Don’t Assume Anything

Seriously.

Anything.

For example, many restaurants in the US offer free soda refills, in Italy, you will pay full price. Also, don’t assume that just because opening hours are posted on a museum’s website that they are correct, or that the museum is even open. Oh yea, and don’t assume that your hotel will have washcloths. In fact, they probably won’t. Italians don’t use them.

What other things do you wish you’d have known before you visited Italy?

Don’t forget to check out Robin’s travel tips today at My Melange.

Until next time … Buon Viaggio!

Traveling to southern Italy? Click here to see how I can help you plan the trip of a lifetime.

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You know how your mom said something as a child that always stuck with you and you find yourself remembering those wise words well into your adult years?

Well, when I was young, I had a hard time understanding the Mother’s and Father’s Day gift-giving rituals that excluding us kids.

“But when is Kid’s Day?” I asked, as I handed her the gift my father had bought in our names.

“Every day is Kid’s Day,” she replied, as she happily accepted the present, along with the laughter and adoration of my father, her quick remarks had earned her.

“Hmmm …,” I thought, as I begrudgingly marched off. “It’s never kids day … and I’ll never tell my kids that!”

And I haven’t. (No, I don’t have kids, but that is neither here nor there, really …)

But I have repeated those words.

When I moved to Calabria in 2006, I’d never heard of the Festa della Donna or International Women’s Day, so I wasn’t really expecting the outpouring of presents I received from my husband. Although he brought me a mimosa flower-and if memory serves, a new pair of shoes-he did have one thing to say about it.

“Why isn’t there an International Men’s Day?” he asked.

… and I think you know what I said.

photo credit: jlastras

But more to the point, today, March 8, is International Women’s Day. It represents not only the economic and political achievements for which it was founded, but for me, here in Calabria, thousands of miles from my closest female family members and friends, it represents gratitude.

1. Today, I’m celebrating Women’s Day with as many international women as I can round up-and that is the first way you can celebrate. We are meeting for pizza and shopping here in Catanzaro, and I, for one, am hoping to hit up the Furniture Fair in Catanzaro Lido.

2. If you can’t get your girls together for lunch and shopping but happen to be in one of Italy’s larger cities, then you are in luck. Venice had free admission to the state museum yesterday and several attractions in Rome and Florence regularly have free or reduced entrance fees for Women’s Day.

3. Recognize the Women in Your Life. I’m thankful for many of them*, particularly the ones who have helped to make my transition into Italy a success.

From the blogless world, I’d like to thank my favorite Irish lass, Jenny, who found my sign for a mother language English teacher in our local bookstore and dialed the number.

Kerri and Felicia, who are down to earth, logical and realistic in their experiences as an expat in Calabria and who share their positive perspectives each time we meet.

For my newest friend, Karen, who’s recent move to Catanzaro has spurred an equally enduring friendship between our husbands and who is teaching me the art of making a mojito.

Many of you know my friend, Michelle of Bleeding Espresso, who incidentally, I met-along with Dawn, from Bovino-the weekend of my first International Women’s Day celebration in Calabria.

So, there you go. Three ways to celebrate International Women’s Day today. What are you planning to do?

*For the purpose of this post I’ve limited my shout-outs to women who live in Calabria. So, Mom, yes … I love you, too!

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Many people travel to a new country to immerse themselves into the culture and imagine-if only for a few weeks-what it would be like to live there. If they rent an apartment or a B&B, they can get into the routine of going to the local market, choosing what to prepare for meals and seeing the same people at the local bars and pizzerias.

But breaking out of that tourist-or “traveler,” if you subscribe to the notion that there is a difference-mentality and settling in as an expat are completely different.

Here are three of the biggest myths of being an expat in southern Italy that I’ve come across.

1. Weekend Travel is Easy
One of my favorite things about living in southern Italy is the obvious lack of international tourists. Southern Italy, particularly south of Campania before you reach Sicily, doesn’t cater to tourism and because of that, the infrastructure has suffered.

It isn’t easy to travel around southern Italy by train and getting from Calabria to Puglia by car is downright tough, thus, weekend trips are hard to come by. It’s also expensive. When you’re on vacation, you can justify the expenses. That’s not always the case when you live here.

2. We Don’t Get Bored
While there is something comforting about getting into a routine, mundane tasks like going to work, paying the bills and yes-even shopping at the market and cooking delicious Italian dishes-can get old.

Just because we live in southern Italy, doesn’t entitle us to all-access pass to the fun house. Routine is routine is routine … we are just in the Mediterranean with ours.

3. We “Shouldn’t” Miss Home
I know this may sound crazy to some of you, but I have seriously-seriously!- upset people when I talk about missing things from home. All of southern Italy’s glamor and grandeur could be wrapped and handed to us with a big shiny red bow, but when you are out of your home country for any length of time, you start missing it. That is why some expats I know who have been here 20+ years still have their moms send them care packages with maple and brown sugar oatmeal and Splenda!

What other myths do you think exist about being an expat?

This post was written on behalf of AffordableCallingCards.net. Visit their site for more expat stories from around the world.

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Last week Andrew Whittaker of Speak the Culture wrote a post about coping with culture shock. It was interesting because Whittaker didn’t take the stance of an expat or long-term traveler trying to adjust to a new culture but rather that of an average traveler.

Although I’m slightly obsessed with culture shock and the stages expats endure on our path to security, I’d never given much thought to what travelers experience when they enter a new country.

Whittaker is right on when he describes the sensation of disorientation we  experience in their first few days of a foreign vacation. Adjusting to the new sounds, a new language, eating habits, climate and customs can be exciting for some travelers, but most would agree that the vacation really starts once your comfort level rises and feel a sense of security.

Speak the Culture listed five tips for helping travelers adjust to culture shock. I’d love for you to read the article-so I’m not going to list his tips here, but I am going to add a few of my own.

Here are five more tips to help you quickly adjust to culture shock so you can get on with your Italian vacation.

photo credit: acearchie

1. Read Books Set in Italy

Most travelers agree nothing gets them “in the mood” for an upcoming trip more than a good novel or nonfiction book that is set in the country they are planning to visit. While it is a good way to learn history of an area  or get an idea for a new place to visit, books are also a great way to introduce you to the country.

The more you learn before you get here, the easier your transition into Italy will be. To get you started, here is an extensive list of books that are set in Italy.

2. Interact with Bloggers

and don’t dismiss the negative things they say.

Many Italy-bound travelers dismiss negative comments made by expat bloggers and I’ve been personally-well, virtually-attacked for alluding to Italy’s flaws.

However, by reading and interacting with bloggers who are based here, you can be conscious of the country’s eccentricities before you arrive, thus taking the shock out of culture shock.

3. Follow Twitterers and Facebook Fan Pages of People Who Live (or Travel Often) to Italy

Take your research one step further by following Twitter users who live or travel often to Italy or by joining their Facebook Fan Pages.

Here is a list of Italy Twitterers you should follow if you are heading to the bel paese.

4. Don’t Dive In

As I’ve said before, you shouldn’t jump into your Italian vacation without taking a day or so to get settled.  Don’t plan anything big the day you arrive in Italy. Instead, get settled into your hotel, then take a stroll around town, enjoy an apertivo at a nearby bar or sit in a busy piazza and people watch.

While this helps you feel more relaxed and ready for your adventure, it also serves as a way to slowly introduce you to Italy’s culture.

5. Document It

Journaling is therapeutic for many people and can serve as a way to help you connect your home culture to the new experiences you are having in Italy. It can help you release any frustrations by getting them on paper and will later serve as a fond reminder of your vacation.

What other tips do you have for travelers wanting to quickly acclimate to Italy?

Don’t forget to check our My Melange’s travel tips today.

Until next time … Buon Viaggio!

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